#Big Momma 'n 'Em

[xtrablak674]

BIG MOMMA SAVED MY LIFE

[Originally published in Fashion Fag Magazine Volume 3, Issue 3, Number 8, September 1996]

"How you doin today Mr. Brown?"

"I am blessed, anyhow. And yourself?"

I said, as I cashed my last unemployment check of $166. Something, I called myself living off of for the last six months.

"That's good to hear Mr. Brown it just brightens my day to hear you say that. You have a nice day."

I started sayin' it as sort of a private joke, but soon it became a source of strength. 'I am blessed... anyhow', no other words could have been truer after this past year. I'm surprised to still be alive; daily habits like this, and tryin to remember that, 'I am not my circumstance' (which has become a personal philosophy); givin' me the strength to get up out of the bed, take in breath and begin the day.

Once in a while people ask me:

"Where did you get that from?"

I proudly volunteer, Ms. Phyllis Yvonne Stickney!

Whenever you greeted her and ask how she's was doin she would say,

"I am blessed, anyhow".

If they were not enlightened enough to know who she was, I would quickly run down her resume, looking at them as if they were from another planet, letting them know,

"You know, shit like that can get your Black Card revoked"

All my friends, know that Big Momma 'N 'Em effected me greatly, It was my first experience workin at the Public, which was congruent with workin with people of African descent in prominent artistic positions. In short it blew my mind! Then to find that I would be workin with Phyllis Yvonne Stickney, that fly momma with the big booty, who was in everything, from the classic Women of Brewster Place to The Inkwell and New Jack City, damn that's the shit!

I always wear the little bronze charm that Shelby [Jiggets] gave me that commemorates the experience. Which was an EXPERIENCE. The cast of characters still live with me to this day all my friends know them well and are never phased when I launch into one of the many dialects of the Big Momma crew.

A favorite is the women from Black River, Carol Reed the braider. And you know they all love Benefa who was very close to a character I already did called Kiki Rodriguez. The matriarch Miss Alma other wise known as Big Momma was a spirit which I called on many a time to give advice to my friends.

Being the twelfth anniversary of my mother's death and the second of my father, these women were very important to me. Their creator Ms.

Stickney reminded me a little of my momma with her big rump and rollin eyes. I may be gay, but I am my father's child and so, I, like him am partial to big-bootied women.

Her confident spirituality, enigma and selfless wisdom intrigued me.

She was obviously a goddess, a messenger my mother had sent to see if I was OK.

Off the grapevine, I had heard the show was possible goin to be touring and I was like hey cool. I have touring experience, sign me up, for real though. But that buzz died down, and next I heard

"Hey Trev, you know Phyllis is in town doin' somethin' uptown, she call you?"

"No, you know Phyllis she always got her hand in something, if she need me for anything she got my number, she'll call,"

Wouldn't she?

Back at the Public, Big Momma 'N 'Em, had left a bad taste in the mouths of some of those in upper management. They were lookin for a scape goat to point a finger at and they pinned it on me, as always the stage manager gets the bad rap.

I heard rumors that George [C. Wolfe] had said that I was incompetent, excuse the fuck outta me, a man that had never given me as much as a good morning, less acknowledgement of my existence. WHATEVER!

I had looked at it as a wonderful magical experience, basically a week before the show there was no script and no one had seen a real run thru. And then as if willed by the Gods, and a lot of long days & nights and many bags of $5 potato chips, Big Momma 'N 'Em was born a bastard child in the world with a purpose.

Every night it packed the house, so I was very confused, why there was so much unspoken bad vibe, that led to this energy between the powers that be and me. We was makin' up shit as we went along. I felt I had did exemplary in a not so great situation. I had went from Production Assistant to Assistant Stage Manager to Production Stage Manager in less time then it takes for a roach to scratch its balls. Not to say that my age is relevant but I feel for my age doin such a feat at a very high-end Off-Broadway theatre like the Public, was damn amazing. Nuff said.

[Afterwords: Let's get some important details out of the way Big Momma 'N 'Em ran for fourteen performances at The Public Theatre in the Susan Stein Shiva Theatre Space from May 20, 1994 to June 5, 1994. Produced by George C. Wolfe, Directed by Loni Berry, Written by Phyllis Yvonne Stickney, but really authored by Loni Berry, and Production Stage Manager your's truly.

This piece I believe was written two years after the experience because it was clearly published in ninety-six. This is important to know because for a second I was confused as to where I was living. During the production I clearly remember working from my first apartment in Williamsburg on my old Mac SE, diligently transcribing the tapes we had from 'rehearsal'.

I personally wrote every word that Ms. Stickney said compiling them into a massive Word document, that Mr. Berry shaped into a functioning script. But at the time I published this essay I was staying with my Aunt Mary in the Bronx for the year, I wouldn't move to my forever apartment until April of ninety-seven, five months from when this missive was published.

There's something else to note and I think you all know Constant Reader that I am not one to name drop or disparage anyone's character, but we have an instance of a well-established Black creative dumping on an early twenty-something who should have been praised for keeping his first Off Broadway production on the rails, even while the very eccentric lead performer was attempting to self-sabotage the entire production with her aloof and precarious behavior.

George C. Wolfe may be a brilliant director and producer, but is a horrible creative director, which I believe is the role he held at The Public Theatre during his tenure there. As opposed to addressing those I guess he saw as beneath him directly, he would passive aggressively send minions to share his dissatisfaction with you. #🤷🏿‍♂️

I was literally just starting out in theatre, and beginning this production in a role that was appropriate to my inexperience, production assistant. A PA is usually the most junior role in any stage-management team, usually regulated to making, copies, brewing coffee, setting up the rehearsal space, managing props and being a go-for for the rest of the cast and staff.

Seriously I was barely out of college, albeit I had done several off off Broadway productions at this point, I was figuratively still learning. The person who kept promoting me and also acknowledging that I was in fact more competent than the original production stage manager, was Loni Berry, the director.

Unlike Monique, I think that was her name, I was reliable. If I recall correctly, we first started 'rehearsals' in Connecticut. Explanatory comma, I keep putting rehearsal in quotes because, they weren't truly rehearsals in a traditional sense. Ms. Stickey didn't even have a scrap of paper when she came to work, so Mr. Berry started bringing a tape recorder to rehearsal to record her stories. She would come do the different character voices she had in her head, and we captured them on tape. I would then take the tapes, go home and usually in the evening transcribe the tapes from that days rehearsal. Wash and repeat.

I can't recall exactly how long our rehearsal was I think a production usually has about six weeks of rehearsal time before going into tech week. Trevor Brown was present and accounted for at all of the Connecticut rehearsals, I had to get up very early in the morning to get the Metro North to make it in time for our eight o'clock start time. There were two people who were consistently either tardy or sometimes totally absent. Our Production Stage Manager, and curiously even our lead talent who was actually being accommodated by the Public Theatre with this allowance of having the creative team come to her, because she was doing a production at the local theatre in Connecticut.

Through my hard work and dedication I was first promoted to Assistant Stage Manager and got a bump in my paycheck. #👍🏿 As rehearsals moved back to New York, we still had an inconsistency problem with Monique, and Mr. Berry promoted me Production Stage Manager and demoted her to Production Assistant. This was awkward to say the least, usually the PSM on a show is the boss to all of the production crew. Even though this was a one-woman show, and a relatively small crew, it was odd for me as a twenty-something in essence to become my bosses boss. #👀

Once again I rose to the occasion doing my best to navigate our jewel of a show to the small stage. I remember I had a little crush on our lighting designer Kevin Adams the only white person in our all Black creative team. It was the way his jeans fit certainly not the mullet he wore in his blond hair, and when I learned he had done the lights for Janet Jackson's "If" video I was even more enamored. Nothing came from any of my innocuous flirtations though.

I remember we did have a grueling tech, and even technical issues during the production one night the headsets went out, and I had to run backstage to call the show. But I did something on this production I would do on all of my productions, I would mind my own business and do my job. I was never privy to all the drama that Ms. Stickney was creating from eccentric request, and over-promising free tickets to the show, to flat out diva-ness. I think Loni took the brunt of this, which as the director I guess is appropriate, that and he was much more experienced, read older than me.

For my part as I said I did my job, making sure the stage was properly safety-marked with glow tape, and that the scenes had different colored spike marks for the different characters, the curtains were paged for entrances and exits, the times called till house open, and filling in my production reports every night. I didn't even consider getting involved in whatever Phyllis was up to this night or the other, as long as she was in her dressing room by half-hour I was good money.

As I was saying I sort of resented George C. Wolfe's immaturity, of making comments about me, but not directly to me. This was clearly a trait of his because it would follow me to my next and last production at The Public, Dancing on Moonlight, where I would get reports that George didn't like what I was wearing, goddess save me, why was that man so petty? I recall at the time thinking it was one of two things the fact that I was young and gorgeous, but I think the thing that incensed his lightly melanated-self was the fact I was dark-skinned, openly gay, and beautiful and unapologetic for it all. Things his semi-closeted ass couldn't tolerate.

But I wasn't studying George, I was taking in the experience of this being my first time practicing the theatrical arts in an institution that during my stay was primarily all-Black driven, it really made me feel seen in a way I hadn't before working in the primarily lily-whiteness of the New York theatre world.

Phyllis never called me, and Loni and me would reconnect decades later and become good friends for a few years before he sort of ghosted me and disappeared back to Thailand where he was living full time. I have no regrets of the time we spent together back in the mid-nineties or briefly in the late tens, I always found something enriching from my fellowship with him, and just like he was then he was also such a positive, and creative energy, giving his best to not only those around him but the work he had dedicated himself to.]

[Photos by Brown Estate]

[missnxthingg]

𝑳𝑶𝑽𝑬, 𝑭𝑹𝑶𝑴 𝑨𝑳𝑳 𝑭𝑶𝑼𝑹 𝑪𝑶𝑹𝑵𝑬𝑹𝑺 𝑶𝑭 𝑻𝑯𝑬 𝑾𝑶𝑹𝑳𝑫 . (𝑺𝑴𝑨𝑼 𝑽𝑬𝑹𝑺𝑰𝑶𝑵) - 𝑆𝐼𝑋 (𝑝𝑎𝑟𝑡 𝑡𝑤𝑜)

𝑨𝒖𝒕𝒉𝒐𝒓'𝒔 𝑵𝒐𝒕𝒆 - We finally arrived to the last chapter. I'm so happy you guys came along this journey and this is a wholesome story (that you'll only understand if you read the actually fanfic. Thank you so much for coming along the road, I hope to see you in more of my stories soon.

original chapter | series masterlist | main masterlist | taglist | pt 1

yourusername

yourusername Life lately ❤

tagged: landonorris

username1 emma is growing up so fast

username2 Ollie is the best big sister ever!

username3 lando in daddy duty is so cute

username4 can't wait to see this beautiful family on track

username5 wedding when??? 💍💍💍

↪ username6 PLEASE y/n will look so beautiful as a bride

yourusername

Sicily, Italy

yourusername Mommy and daddy very needed getaway ❤ enjoying summer break and celebrating almost three years together and two daughters later

tagged: landonorris

landonorris I love you, hot momma ❤

↪yourusername I love you forever ❤

username1 When's the wedding guys???

↪username2 here we are BEGGING them again ↪username3 can't wait for this to happen tbh

landonorris

Silverstone

landonorris Back when I was a rookie, I begged my boss to bring the cute girl from the comms team to Silverstone, because we had become really good friends and I wanted her there. Today, I asked her to marry me on the same track. And she said yes. I'm marrying my best friend, the love of my life and the mother of my two beautiful daughters. Life is worth living ❤

tagged: yourusername

yourusername I love you, future hubby ❤ can't wait to spend the rest of my life with my best friend

maxfewtrell Can't believe you finally got the girl

↪oscarpiastri For real, I didn't think it would ever happen

username1 FUCKING FINALLY!

username2 mom and dad are getting married 💍💍 WAR IS OVER!

username3 I can't believe he proposed at Silverstone 😭 now he needs to win to crown this weekend

↪yourusername He better dedicate that throphy to me when he wins (he will)

yourusername

yourusername Today, I married my best friend 💍 Till nothing do us apart, because not even death will take me away from you

tagged: landonorris

comments are limited

landonorris My everything ❤ I love you wifey, you and me to eternity

landonorris

landonorris You & me ❤ always & forever

tagged: yourusername

comments are limited

yourusername So cool that you added a picture of me completely destroyed after the ceremony 😂 I love you anyway

yourusername

yourusername Surprise, surprise! Happy to announce we have another Norris in the oven. Say hello to baby Khai 🤍

landonorris Hello, baby Khai 😍

↪yourusername Baby Khai says: "Hi, daddy!"

landonorris The prettiest woman in the world! I love you so much, momma

↪yourusername I love you more, papa

username1 SHE'S A BABY MACHINE OMG

↪username2 we're not complaining though

username3 Emma is barely one and a half, and they are already popping another one out

↪username4 Can we now get a baby that's a little bit of both? ↪username5 For real, Em is so much like him and Ollie is so much like her. We need Khai to be a crazy mix of them. ↪yourusername Praying for that too tbh. If I have to carry another baby for nine months only for them to look like their father, I'm gonna riot

yourmother Another little one to make us all happy

maxfewtrell I'm so happy for you guys ❤

username3 The prettiest family indeed ❤ Congratulations

⋘ 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 ⋙

[melanieph321]

Hello :) could you do an imagine/story where Ruben and reader have a boy and he is a big momma’s boy like he’s jealous when Ruben kiss reader please (sorry for my bad English btw) if you don’t feel comfortable writing it that’s okay

I LOVE THIS REQUEEEST! 🤭💓🤭💓

Please keep em coming!

10 DAYS OF REQUESTS

(DAY 1)

Ruben Dias - Mommy's Boy

This one is so funny 😭

Enjoy!

Having a six year old boy seemed more of a challenge than having a four - or three year old boy.

Six was the age of discovery. Discovery of how spicy a Portuguese pepper can be when devoured raw. Discovery of how fast a bicycle can travel downhill when you take off the training wheels. Or your son's most recent discovery — How high the swing in the backyard goes before its ropes snap and lunges him across mommy's neatly pruned rose bushes.

"My arm!" Your son cried out, as you and Ruben rushed down the steps to the backyard.

You had witnessed it all from the kitchen window. The last part at least, when the swings ropes snapped and your son's body was thrown across the yard. Before then, Ruben had your back pressed against the refrigerator, his lips tracing ever so gently down the slope of your neck while his rough hands crept up your thighs and under your dress. Nedless to say that your son's cries stopped it all, to your husband's annoyance, of course.

"Help, mommy. It hurts!" Your son cried, as you fought to get him out from the leaves and thornes. He was all bruised up once you did.

"I'll go get the band-aids." Ruben sighed. He returned to the house while you carried your son to the steps leading up to it. Your son cradled in your arms, his dark hair head nuzzling into the pit of your embrace as the two of you settled down.

"Oh, hubby." You cooed. "Why do you always have to get yourself into such trouble? Can't you see how you keep scaring mommy to death."

Your son sniffled in response. "I'm sorry mommy."

"Oh, no. There's nothing to be sorry about. It was all an accident."

"Yeah, right." A voice scolded behind you. Ruben, appearing in the backdoor with the band-aids in his hand. He dropped them in your lap and joined you and your son on the steps.

"Baby, what's gotten into you?" You said, noting the bitterness in Ruben's comment.

"Nothing, nothing." He muttered. "It's just funny that..." He paused to reconsider his words.

"Ruben?" Your narrowed gaze challenge for him to go on.

He shook his head with laughter and disbelief. "I dunno Y/N, but don't you think that it's very coincidental that every time the two of us....well...."

"Well?" You frowned, rocking the sniffling boy in your arms.

Ruben looked to your son, however, not with the same empathy as you. "If I put it this way. Last week, the two of us were in our room, in bed, doing what adults do during late hours, especially after a well played game like mine—."

"Ruben." Heat suddenly flushed to your cheeks. You knew exactly what events of last week that Ruben was referring to. However, it was highly inappropriate to bring up such subjects amongst children. "Your point is?" You emphasized.

"My point is..." Ruben declared. "I barely got to touching you that night before little Romeo here came running into our room with a burning tongue." Ruben's eyes darted at your son, who snickered at the phrase "Little Romeo."

"Honey." You felt obligated to defend your son. "He simply mistook your mom's peppers for a regular Bell one."

"Mistook my ass! What was he even doing roaming around in the kitchen that late at night? And do you remember that time we took the training wheels off his bicycle and he conveniently decided to send it down the hill. Do you remember that time?"

"Yes, Ruben. But what's that got to do with anything?"

Your husband ran a hand through his hair, looking to calm himself down. "All I'm saying is that you wouldn't leave his side after our son got his knees bruised up from his hell ride. Same thing as today. I mean, look at him."

You both tilted your heads to meet the bright beaming eyes of your son, who seemed delighted to be curled up in your arms despite becoming way too big to do so.

"Look, the thornes didn't even manage to cut him up that deep. I bet he just saw us kissing through the window while on the swing and decided to lunge himself off of it."

"Ruben?" You gasped. "Are you telling me that our son injures himself purposely just to get our attention?"

"Your attention." Ruben corrected.

You looked to your son and back to Ruben. "I can't believe you."

"Don't believe me? Fine, I'll prove it." Ruben's hand reached for the nape of your neck, tilting your head with the motion of drawing you towards him. Towards his lips, to be exact. But before his parted mouth could even brush pass your own, your son erupted in an ear shattering wail.

"Told you." Ruben grinned and let go of your neck.

You were perplexed, looking down at your son whose face had gone red from crying. He held up his finger, offering it to you. "It hurts, mommy. Kiss and make it better."

"I—"

Behind you, Ruben was trembling with laughter. "Huh, it seems like I'm competing with my son for my own wife's attention."

"But that...." You regarded them both in confusion. The whole thing utterly absurd.

"Don't worry." Ruben pressed a swift kiss to your cheek and rose from the steps, looking to return the band-aids. He paused in the door. "Our son will grow out of it. In the meantime, I guess he can have you....at least during the day."

The wink of Ruben's eye sent a tickling shiver down your spine. You quickly shook out of it to address your son. "You. Little. Gremlin." He giggled at your choice of words, and so you resorted to torturing him by tickling his belly. "You are such a mommy's boy, aren't you? A mommy's boy, that's what you are."

"Mommy, stop it. I can't breathe." He laughed.

"Oh, no. Not so fast." You continued poking his little belly. It was the least you could do for raising such a menace.

The tickling seized once the two of you were left breathless. By then, your torturing methods shifted to a serenation of kisses. Kisses you thought would annoy your son. Instead, he squirmed beaneth you, each peck of your lips making him errupt in joyous shouts. Perhaps Ruben was right that your sons admiration for you wouldn't last forever. Until then, you were going to enjoy having a little mommy's boy all to yourself.

[semperamans]

HEAR ME OUT: I just read the Jhonny smut and I writhed in happiness, IT WAS FUCKING AWESOME, on the other hand, something now circles my little head at that part "just like Benny taught ya" EHMM????? yeah, I need that.

I BEG YOU CLO

somethin’ of a prequel to this <3 hope u enjoy :’)

the sun’s goodbye is long n’drawn out as she traipses through the sky. she even stops at your place; peeking through the windows, spying on you and benny as you lounge atop your pretty flowery sheets. benny thinks you look like an angel; hair splayed over the pillow, eyes bright, smile soft, but then again an angel surely wouldn't ask what you just did. he goes quiet - too quiet - and now you’re embarrassed. you turn shy at his silence, capturing your bottom lip between your teeth, tuggin’ your body into a sitting position, turning your chin toward the ground.

“jus’ wanna be good for ‘em.” you reason in a voice that is no louder than the wind whispering through the window screen n' just audible above the delicate whip of your white curtains. "will you teach me?"

an' there’s somethin' about the vulnerability in your voice that makes benny wanna get closer to you, so he does. you just look so cute, all slouched defeatedly beside him: eyes downcast, lashes fluttering to keep tears away, that he has no choice but to reach out: cuppin' your jaw in his calloused palms, makin' you look at him.

“pretty,” he breathes the nickname johnny calls you n’it feels good; all light and airy on his tongue. the adjective has you sitting up straighter - preening and proud and staring at him wide-eyed and mesmerized. benny doesn’t know how it's possible but his love for you grows; stretchin' over his face in a passive smile. “baby,” he clicks his tongue against his teeth, sucking in a breath. “i jus’ dunno if i can do what you’re askin’.” but he wants to. he really fuckin’ wants to. the mere thought makes him giddy and hard and it shouldn’t because, fuck, regardless of what has happened in the past, you are johnny's girl. n'yeah, sometimes benny doesn't know who he is more jealous of, but that's beside the point. he can't do this - shouldn't want to do this - because johnny isn't here and everything he's done with you has been supervised by the older man. those spit-soaked breathless declarations of love grunted into the plush of your lips was okay'd by johnny. the lingering touches n'drunken late-night cuddles were approved by johnny and surely this isn't what johnny meant when he had benny promise to help you when he was out truckin'. it feels wrong, but benny can't help but see it as an opportunity. what was that his momma was always rattling on about never lookin’ a gift horse in the mouth? maybe the real life equivalent is never turnin’ a pretty girl down when she asks you to teach her to give a fuckin’ handjob.

“jus' wanna watch, s'all." your voice is garbled; shame clogging your windpipe as you shake your head, nuzzling into benny's palm, pressing a kiss to his heartline. "jus' let me watch." those big wet eyes soften as he scrapes his thumb along your bottom lip, collecting spit and chapstick on his journey n'he'd love nothing more than to pop the digit in his mouth just to get a taste of you, but he can't. he shouldn't, but then you're movin' closer, naked knees kissin' his, chiffon nightgown riding up your thigh and he knows he's fucked. "johnny'd be okay with it. loves you, y'know? n'plus, you know 'em better than anyone. you'll know what he likes.. what to show me." you're right - of course - benny does know exactly what johnny likes, and, shit - the old man's birthday is comin' up. if benny can teach ya the proper way to jerk a cock then that'd be somethin' of a gift, right? johnny's own gift horse.

he's also never told you no n'doesn't plan on starting now.

“alright,” he concedes. “i’ll help ya.”

your tears have dried, but your nose is still red n'benny can't help but smile at the way excitement practically drips off you as you watch him. you're sitting on your feet at the foot of the bed, hands folded nicely in your lap, waiting oh so patiently.

"what's got you obsessin' over this?" he asks, situating your fluffy pillow behind his head. he's trying to act like he's calm and cool n'not at all like he's about to cum in his fuckin' pants at the mere thought of jerking himself off with you less than three feet away. a soft smile plays your lips, shoulder kissing the underside of your jaw in a shrug.

"jus' feel like i need to get better at it," you have that breathless lilt in your voice - the one benny fuckin' adores - and he's already so hard it hurts. he's already so hard he's embarrassed, but you're such a respectful girl n'your eyes never wander past his neck - not yet anyway. "n'you're so good to me, benny. so good. figured you'd be the best person to ask." his cock twitches at your words, hips jumping at the soft tug of skin on cotton, n'he's ready. knows he won't last if you keep lookin' at him with those bitten-red lips so he goes for it.

"alright," he says. this is fine. "m'gonna - i guess - just - you know."

"touch yourself?" you ask, head cocked to the right like a goddamn puppy and he has to bite back a moan. you're too cute to be sayin' things like that - voice too soft, so sweet.

"yeah," benny nods, swallowing hard. "jus' gonna touch m'self. n'you can watch." he looses a breath, tells himself to calm the fuck down, and centers his attention. "johnny's always liked when ya - you know - press on 'em through his jeans." n'so benny does just that, palm now delivering delicious friction on his cotton covered dick. "never wanna do it too hard, just - fuck - just a little bit of pressure." you hum in acknowledgment, leaning forward just a bit. such a good listener. "s'jus' somethin' you do to get 'em goin' - warm 'em up." but benny is more than warmed up - his engine is fucking overheating - so he quickly moves on, poppin' the button with his thumb and index finger expertly. he slips his ringed hand beneath the waistband of his boxers, grunting at the dull tug of his rough hand against his smooth shaft.

"s'okay?" your voice is so sweet n' sugary that benny wants to sink his teeth into it.

"s'too dry. gotta make sure y've got some kinda lubrication. y'know? makes it nice and slick." like you benny wants to say, but doesn't. he withdrawals his hand, spits into it, and pushes the sloppy mess back into his shorts. "wanna - mm - wanna make sure it's nice and wet, yeah? could hurt 'em if you don't have enough spit on there."

"okay," you repeat, nodding. then, "can - benny can you - maybe, take 'em off? please? jus' so i can see?"

"can you take 'em off for me?" no no no he shouldn't have said that - should'a just stayed quiet - but you're undeterred. sweet face bright, head nodding fervently as benny retracts his hand and lets you delicately tug the fabric down down down until his cock is springing upward, smacking wetly against his stomach.

"wow," you murmur "s'pretty," those eyes peer up at him shyly, n'he has to look away because it's too much. he can't teach you how to jerk anyone off if he cums in the first two minutes. he's gotta get it together, but it's hard. your eyes meet once again, your smile grows when he thanks you n'pinches the round of your cheek.

"will you keep going? keep teachin' me?" you make no move to return to the corner of the bed, instead, you stay right where you are, knee wedged into the outer meat of benny's thigh. he certainly can't stop now.

"yeah, pretty. yeah. okay." his cock is so reactive to the cool air wooshing in through the window, so reactive to the sweet girl staring at it, that it weeps. precum oozes from the tip; seeps into the gentle divot of his belly button and over his knuckles. it's hard to hold back, but he does because he's good to you n'good to johnny. which reminds him, "whenever you grab 'em, don't wanna do it too tight. don't be squeezin' too hard, not at first, 'kay?"

"m'kay benny."

"just wanna - do it - like this." he demonstrates, curling his fingers 'round the base, stroking up gently. "n'johnny likes when ya twist your wrist, just - god - like this." the spit and precum make his cock glisten - make the stroke from base to tip that much more pleasurable - and you look starstruck; mouth hanging open, pupils following up and down and up and down and -

"benny can i try?"

he moans - too loud - too obscene for the quiet of your room. the mere thought of you watchin' is enough to make him bust, let alone you putting your hands on him. he lets out a shaky breath, and starts to tell you how that is not a good idea, how you shouldn't, how he doesn't want to coat your freshly painted nails in cum, but he doesn't. he doesn't say anything - just nods his head.

you wiggle closer, scoochin' between his thighs and he's not going to make it. he knows he simply will not make it out of this room alive with the way you're leanin' over him - inspecting his cock like you've never seen one when he knows you have. and then - jesus christ - you're holding up your hand, spitting into it the way he taught you and circling your fingers just above the mass of curls near his balls.

"oh fuck."

"m'sorry." you squeak, instantly letting go, but benny is thrashing his head to the side. grunt tearing from his throat.

"no, baby, god, s'okay. doin' good. g'head. do it again. move your hands, little faster."

and you do and it's so good - so talented you are. grip not too tight, just right. your little fingers are coated in his precum and your combined spit and he almost forgets why you're doin' this - for johnny - so you can learn for johnny.

"flick your wrist right - yeah yeah - right there each time, baby. fuck. s'good. johnny's g'nna be so proud of you. g'nna do so good for him. make 'em feel so special n'good." benny s'never much of a talker but he'd fucking write sonnets if it meant you'd keep your fist wrapped around him. you're pullin' noises out of him that you never knew he could make n'so you just have to ask

"s'this what johnny sounded like when you learned on 'em?" and benny almost chokes on your words, but they only seem to spur him on; warmth coils in his belly, brushes against his balls, and settles deep in his cock.

"god, yeah." he remembers so clearly it fuckin' brings tears to his eyes. "b-but i think y'gonna be better than me, darlin'. got such a - jesus - good grip. look so pretty tuggin' my cock." benny's golden halo of curls spreads across the pillow as he tips his head, relishing in the repetitive schlick of skin on skin. you're makin' these cute little preens he's only ever heard through the wall when you’re with johnny and fuck fuck fuck it's coming. he knows it's coming, can feel his balls drawing up, feel his breath quickening, warmth spreadin' through his every artery.

"gonna cum, baby. fuck. gotta show you - oh fuck - whenever i tell ya, need ya to put your mouth on it? 'kay? no teeth, keep strokin', yeah? be a good girl. do it for me? for johnny?"

"yeah," you murmur. "yeah. okay, benny" you keep your grip firm as he fucks into your fist. he's desperate. you never thought you'd use the word to describe benny but he's so desperate making all of these pretty sounds as his legs twitch and shake; as he calls you beautiful and pretty and perfect.

"fuck, now. now. now."

you're great at following the rules - johnny always tells ya - so you bend, wrapping your lips around benny's tip, allowing him to fuck into your fist and mouth as he paints your tongue with his seed. it's dirty and euphoric and everything. you are everything to benny. everything as his world is diminished to nothing and he’s born again.

"c-c'mere." he pants, after a few moments. he doesn’t wait for you to act on your own; strong hands grab your forearms, pulling you up, pressin' you against his mouth. he can taste himself on your lips, sweet and salty and he can't stop. he licks and licks and licks until any trace of him is gone, until he thinks he can taste johnny. until he can't breathe. "s'a good job, baby.” he shudders. “johnny's gonna be so happy."

and he is.

it's many days and handjobs later when johnny finally stumbles into the darkened house, stopping to catch you as you fling yourself on him. n'god, it's good to be home. good to feel his sweet girl so warm in his arms. his scruff scratches your neck as he breathes you in, n'he can smell it. smell him. benny.

"you were right," you breathe, smiling wide. "benny taught me."

"n'how'd it go?"

"let me show you."

[dilfl0v3rss]

https://twitter.com/bestpornclipsx/status/1660915013479964674?s=46

what would have had to happen for y/n to be in this situation with ony

hmmmm idk

sikeeee!! i always know😛 link

“got some nerve…coming up in there like you ain’t got no sense” his voice deeply touched your ears as he spoke. your ass was hot from the many times he’s struck it. pussy being pounded into oblivion from the back. it was almost certain you were going to be sore and bedridden in the morning. all because you let jealousy cloud your judgment.

“ma i just told you, been telling you the whole ride home, i don’t know that girl” you rolled your eyes at him, not caring about the irritated look your boyfriend was giving you. “you mean to tell me this bitch knows your name, mom’s name, and has your number in her contacts, and you never fucked wit her? boy get the fuck outta here wit that!” you pointed your long acrylic nail in his face as you spoke. getting up close and personal to show him that you weren’t playing.

ony took a deep breath before replying. crossing his big arms across his chest to keep himself from just snatching you up right there. “first of all…watch your mouth. second, i need you to put that big girl brain to good use and think.” you rolled your eyes as he continued to to break down your assumptions. “no cocky shit, but i’m probably the most known nigga on this campus and you know that. so of course people gon know my name. as for my number, i can’t stop girls from asking around for it. she prolly got it from someone on the team and i’ll check em for that. and you can check my phone to clarify ‘cause ain’t no female in there but my momma and you.”

your face began to soften as his excuses were starting to make sense, an apology already on the tip of your tongue as he continued. “as far as knowing momma’s name, you gotta be smarter than that princess. after every game what i say to the camera?” your eyes revert to the floor, guilt clouding your mind as you start to feel bad for how you were acting. ony softly cooed at you, inked fingers tilting your chin up so he can look into your eyes. “tell me ma” you sighed deeply, taking a long pause before answering his question. “y’say ‘first i wanna give a shout-out to my very first supporters, my parents Abena and Todd Jackson.’ m’sorr-”

“sh sh sh. what else baby?” your eyes instantly began to water as you recited the second part of his speech. “a-and y’said ‘a-also wanna give a big shoutout t-to my beautiful g-girlfriend y/n.’ m’sorry papa i was just so mad and i–” he cut you off again, this time by snatching you up by your throat and bringing your face closer to his. “this is why we communicate ain’t it? to prevent shit like this, but you ain’t do that did you? nahh….you came into the team house yelling and screaming, embarrassing the both of us ‘cause you let your emotions get the best f’you. so now…. ima let mine get the best of me. go in the room and strip.”

it was a matter of minutes before ony had you stripped and screaming in the middle of the bed. dick punishing your insides so good , but you held that need for release with a death grip. “daddyyyy i said m’sorry alreadyyy. p-please let me cumm” you whined, drool dripping from your lips as ony replied with a hard slap on your ass. “no. you ain’t learn yet” he grumbled, angling his hips downward so he can be felt in your stomach. your mouth opened in a silent scream, the feeling too much for you as you tried to inch up the bed.

ony watched you closely, letting you move up just enough so you can take a sigh of relief before yanking you back onto him. “don’t run from me mama. you gettin what you deserve” you let out a loud whine as you felt him begin to hit you deeper than he did before, heavy hand coming down on your ass repeatedly. your ass was definitely going to be sore in the morning. “you love me?” ony asked, stroking you just right to the point where holding your orgasm was almost unbearable. “y-you know i love you daddy”

the next thing you knew, your back was too his chest and ony has his hand tightly around your neck. the brutal pace of his hips slowing to deep strokes. his dick repeatedly hitting the sweetest spots inside of you. there was no way you could hold it in anymore, a quiet whine escaping your lips as your release slowly trickled down your thighs. ony wasn’t far behind, his ropes of cum shot deep into you as he slowed his hips to a stop.

“if you love me then communicate wit me cause now you gon be here all night. turn over.”

[muwapsturniolo]

✯Matt dating a black girl✯

-he doesn’t know how he pulled you fr but he’s very happy he did

-if you’re rowdy (like me fr) he gets stressed.

-I’m talking deep sighs and rubbing over his face in frustration

-“bitches can’t say excuse me?”

-“y/n please don’t start.”

-“you saying that makes me want to start”

-when he gets in his lil moods (tough guy) yall bud heads

-“Matt who are you talking to cause I know damn well it’s not me!”

-hears your tone and apologizes (it’s the same tone our mommas use when we talk back💀)

-for my soft black girlies, you always have him giggling like a lil girl

-“you so handsome, I just wanna smother you in kisses!”

-if he catches an attitude with you and you gets upset, he’s on his knees saying sorry.

-if you got ass, he can’t handle the twerking😭 his head actually moves in circles and his eyes are WIDE!!!

-sexxy redd comes on at a party and you start dancing, this man starts blushing and everyone tells him he can’t handle you (he can)

-he loves when you sit on his lap. Chairs are available? He does not give af, SIT ON HIS LAP!!!

-if you got titties, his eyes won’t stay off of em. You could be wearing a regular tshirt and he gonna be like 👀

-“Matt stop looking at my boobs I’m literally in my wash day tshirt”

-“don’t care, I’m not arguing with a girl who has big boobs!”

-speaking of wash day

-this man loves watching the process

-keeps asking questions like a lil kid

-“what’s this for? Why do you need to many creams and oils? Does that hurt? WHY IS SO MUCH HAIR COMING OUT!?”

-“stop talking to me because my hair isn’t acting right and I’m two seconds away from crying and hitting myself with this brush.”

-wants to help but chooses not too, afraid he will put the wrong creme in the wrong order

-he loves going to the beauty supply because the aunties fawn over him.

-“hey Matt baby! Our girl treating you right?”

-“hi auntie Yolanda. She is, but she got mad because I didn’t get her candy she wanted.”

-“y/n if you don’t leave this boy alone!”

-“I didn’t even do anything!”

-buys all your stuff with no problem!

-“you always smell like pancakes and syrup.”

-goes feral over your shea butter, coco butter, vanilla, brown sugar scent.

-I’m talking he wants to be all over you and possibly have sex anywhere.

-“Matt we are in the car going to my parents house!”

-“Please? I’ll be quick.”

-he doesn’t not understand time! If you don’t know what I mean, let me explain.

-“shouldn’t we be leaving now? It starts at 5.”

-“no. 5 means you will be helping set up. We need to be there at 6:15.”

-blinks at you in confusion but nods anyway.

-if you not that close to your fam he gets confused as to why

-“don’t you think you should talk to them? That argument happened two years ago?”

-“and I’ll still swing at thanksgiving dinner!”

-loves eating at your parents house but thinks everything is supper spicy.

-“Matt it’s literally just seasoning salt?¿”

-“are you sure?”

-lowkey gets mouthy with your family on accident but he apologizes when your mom gives him, the look (yall know what im talking about)

-At the cook out he’s gets roped in to grilling.

-mf suddenly has a towel over his shoulder and joking with your uncles.

-he does sum that makes you and your fam look at him oddly.

-“Gon head and sit at the kids table baby.”

That’s all I can think of💀 hope yall enjoy

TAG LIST 🍑

@bernardsgf @bernardsleftbootycheek @blahbel668 @mattfrfr @gdsvhtwa @sturniolo-aali @lily-loves-struniolos @kynda-avery @causeidontlikeagoldrush

@st7rnioioss @carolinalikesthings @mattslolita @suyqa @xxloveralways14 @pepsiimaxx @judespoision

@ivonchetooo1239 @iloveurgf @m4stermindd @itzdarling @gigisworldsstuff @that-general-simp

[woso-dreamzzz]

Caro

Pernille Harder x Hardersson!Reader

Caroline Graham-Hanen x Hardersson!Reader

Part of The Big Adventures Universe

Summary: The vending machine incident

The day of the incident begins like any other.

Momma wakes you up and dresses you in your you-sized green Harder jersey. She brushes your hair and serves you breakfast around getting ready for training.

You get bundled into the car and driven to practice where you have a second breakfast and essentially have free reign so long as you're in Momma's eyeline.

Practice is cool today and you get to run after stray balls, catching them in your hands and kicking them back to the nearest girl.

It's during one of Momma's media thingies that you wander off. She's sitting in front of a camera with a man speaking to her. You're sitting behind it, playing with your soft toys.

You're still very little, unable to do most things except walk and sometimes make noise. But you still have your opinions and you know that you passed one of those big black things that you press and get food out of.

You're half-dressed, having wiggled out of your shoes, socks and shorts so you manage to slip through the door in just one of Momma's long Wolfsburg jerseys and your nappy.

You stand in front of the big black thing, staring at all the snacks waiting for you. You're not tall enough to press on the buttons that Momma lets you do when she holds you so you try to stretch to reach.

"y/n?"

You turn at the mention of your second name. Momma and Morsa always call you 'princesse' so you suppose that y/n is your second name like how Momma's is Harder.

It's Caro.

Momma says she's from Norway which is kind of near Denmark but you can't like her in the same way that you're not allowed to like Morsa sometimes because she's from Sweden.

You think Caro's cool though because sometimes she wears a different jersey that's a colour that you don't know the name of yet but know you really like.

You blink up at her.

"Where's Pernille?" She asks you, knowing that you can understand her.

You ignore the question though and point at the big black thing. "Want."

"This one's broken."

You recognise that word and stamp your foot. "Want!"

She sighs, glancing back around before scooping you up. Caro's one of the people who's always a bit stiff holding you but you're happy in her arms, sucking at her shirt collar.

She carts you off up a set of stairs and down another corridor before you end up in front of the next big black thing. She fishes something out of her pocket and feeds it to the machine.

"What did you want?"

"Dat!" You say, pointing at a packet of crisps.

Caro lets you press the right buttons before sitting on the floor next to the big black thing and holding you between her legs.

You munch happily on your food, offering some to Caro which she graciously declines.

"Princesse!" There are calls of your name.

It sounds a bit like Momma so you grunt and go to move away.

Caro catches you around your stomach to keep you in place. Momma comes careening down the corner, tears dripping down her face as she crashes into you.

She does a silly kind of knee slide thing that crushes you between her and Caro - who looks just as surprised about the impact.

"Where did you find her?" She asks Caro before turning to you," Did you get lost, princesse? Did somebody take you?"

You don't answer, more preoccupied with kicking your legs out as Momma tries to slip your shorts back onto you.

"She was just by the vending machine," Caro says calmly," She wanted a snack. The one she was at was broken. I didn't want her to start crying."

"And no one was around her? Nobody took her?"

"Not that I could see."

Momma breathes out a deep breath, pulling you firmly into her body as soon as she's wrestled you back into your shorts. "You can't wander like that," She tells you though she knows that you're either not listening or not comprehending her," You could have gotten hurt."

You ignore her, staring up at the big black thing again and then back down at your empty crisps packet. You point. "Want!"

[moneymartin]

teen gf Shauna headcanons pleaseee

🐶 - losergf!shauna hcs

warnings: mostly fluff but a lil smut under the divider :p

a/n: i know u didn’t ask for loser but shauna shipman is soooo loser girlfriend u cannot tell me otherwise. kinda messy and trash… i’m so sleepy rn i’m writing this half awake nd lowk a lil drunk UGH

taglist: @deerlottie @ultrone

my brown eyed beautiful baby where do i even start.

def the most athletic yj i will stand by this till the day i die

MUSCLE MAMAAAA

rolls up the sleeves of her flannels so you can see her muscles pop 😮‍💨

not a gym freak though but she works her arms 100%

cuddlebug fosho

little spoon and you can argue with me about that all you want this girl loves to be held

when she big spoons though she’s burying your face into her chest all the time

she plays with your hair tho no doubt abt it

even when you’re cuddling her instead

super soft kisses all over you while you doze off

sleeps after you do just to make sure cause sometimes you end up sleeping a lil too hard and she needs to make sure you aren’t dead

well thats what she thinks.

wakes up early even though she sleeps the latest out of the both of you

when you sleep for way too long she ends up full on wrestling you until you wake up

music geek

she def loves the smashing pumpkins, radiohead, the cranberries, the cure, mazzy star, jeff buckley, pavement, the cardigans. artists and bands of that genre

had a walkman like nat’s that you guys share on walks together

also has a vinyl player that she keeps at hers so you could listen to music with her when you come over

writes about you in her journal while she listens to the music

also writes these cute little love letters for you and she’ll write what songs she listened to while writing

sleepovers all the time though she’s one of those girls

drives you all over the place too

no matter how far so that you know she truly loves you

she goes absolutely nuts when you’re wearing her clothes i fink

esp her flannels

the moment you’re seen wearing one she can only think about taking it off of you cause it looks so good 😞

loves when you wear her jersey too

or her letterman jacket

funny sock gal

wears the one w monster faces on em or something like that

south park socks… hmo

SMARTY PANTS

got accepted into brown for a reason

she’s always helping you with assignments in case they’re too hard

she runs through them so fast though it actually baffles you to how she can do it

book geek too

has probably read harry potter a million times

edgar allan poe is her main dude she def likes poems and stuff from him

genuinely has a momma instinct

before you even get sick she tells you to be careful with the cold

and you don’t listen.

so you do end up getting sick and she has to take care of you until you’re all better

babies you but is also teasing you cause you didn’t listen to her warnings about it 😭 she could tell beforehand that you were gonna get sick

unlike lottie i think shauna has the ability to cook and stuff like that

not a 5 star chef but she’s good enough for you

being touchy in her public is her thangggg

you guys are always touching somehow

pinky holding, interlocked arms, holding hands, her just grabbing your wrist. she’s always gotta hold you no matter whaaaat

not very possessive but definitely a jealous person

makes it known she’s jealous w her attitude

has those anger issues we all know it

is not afraid to make a scene in front of a bunch of people she will cuss someone out for even looking at you

but she’s just jealous cause she’s really insecure :( poor girl my god

she thinks that the people you talk to are better than she’ll ever be

you have to reassure her countless of times so she can feel better about herself cause she’s always questioning you abt it

she loves little make out seshes behind the bleachers

its def the thrill of being caught like she loves that so much 🥸

when she kisses you she isn’t rough i think she’s very gentle actually

caressing your jaw and cheeks so you know she’s there and its not just some dream 😭

loves sitting on your lap while kissing cause it makes her feel like she’s the one in charge

also cause your hands are always in the spots where she wants them without her having to ask

biting…

teeth marks EVERYWHERE!!!

dom fosho but that’s not relevant rn

during arguments this girl is ruthless

not because she wants to hurt you but it’s because she’s always bubbling up

bottles up everything cause she’s afraid people won’t listen to her

but she’ll apologize eventually after if it looks like whatever she said got to you

won’t mean anything she tells you she just gets so mad at everything cause she can’t express herself as well :(

she regrets it so fast too like she’s immediately saying sorry afterwards

def a lace girly

loves showing off her new sets for you…

red black and white are the favs

OUUHHH

whiny as fuck but also holds her noises in cause she thinks they’re embarrassing

PANTER AND GROANER FOR SUREEEE

switch i think

like if she really wanted to she could top you but she’d rather be a power bottom

have you ride her strap or whatever…

its blue.

loves when you eat her out though cause she gets to pull on your hair

makes you talk her through it and when you’re topping but when she tops shes SO bold

she loves when you praise her thats the only thing she wants to hear from you during it

makes you kiss around her tits for sure

thats where she always wants you to be

when she’s jealous you’re constantly asking if she’s okay which leads into an argument

meaning that it’ll probably lead into really hot angry sex from her

the car scene really spoke to me

initiates everything too

anyways i’m done i’m so tired

[urlocalnonbinarybastardwrites]

HELLO HELLO

Would you by any chance be willing to write some small headcannons for the Sawyers (TCM), Stu Macher, and Billy Loomis?

Specifically, how they would comfort their S/O who has just been dropped by their lifelong best friends. (This same thing happened to me and I need help coping 😔)

ANYWAYS

Remember to take care of yourself!! Get lots of rest, eat, drink water, and relax ❤️

I would love to!! Also fuck them they’re missing out

Comfort! S/o with Shitty Friends x The Sawyer Family + Scream 1 Killers!

Nubbins Sawyer

-“Well y-ya want me to k-kill em y/n?”

-“Nubbins NO!”

-lil disappointed but accepts

-he isn’t great with feelings

-brings you roadkill to make you feel better

-“Y-y/n look! I g-gots you a d-dead bird!”

-lmao

-he’s like a cat with that shit man

-super clingy and cuddles with you if you feel like it

Chop Top Sawyer

-goes on a rant about how they don’t deserve you

-also volunteers to murder them

-tbh not super great at comforting or sympathetic

-“Why are you hurt y/n? You don’t even need em’! You got me!”

Drayton Sawyer

-“Well, I can tell you this much. Those kids are damn fools if they dropped you.”

-he gives you a short hug then shoos you away to do your chores

-smiles, he’s surprisingly sweet about it

-Uncle Dray has a rare soft spot for ya

-makes your favorite dinner that night

-to cheer you up

Bubba Sawyer

-best comforter

-squeals and grunts in reactions when you tell him

-big bear hugs

-will hug you for hours

-he makes some flowers for you in a pretty bow

-he does things with you that your friends normally did, like gaming, painting nails, any activity like that

Nancy Slaughter

-she rolls her eyes at them

-“You’re a perfectly fine kid. Thems’ mommas ain’t raise em right.”

-gives you a grandma hug and you choke on her perfume

Sissy Slaughter

-she thinks it’s stupid

-she tells you they are stupid for giving up a wonderful person like you

-lists all your great qualities

-she cheers you up verbally the best I think

-secretly kills one

-she’d lean up and give you a hug

-and have a hangout that night

Johnny Slaughter

-“Y/n, them kids just stupid bastards.”

-he’d also give you a quick hug

-he would give you some heavy whiskey if you wanted it

-he would also kill then even if you told him not to

-he would talk about how annoying they were to kill 💀

Stu Macher

-also secretly kills them

-talks about how dumb they were anyway and how great you are

-they don’t deserve you anyway and they are going to regret dropping you

-cuddles you

-similar to chop top tbh

Billy Loomis

-he would ask where they live 💀

-kills them in secret as ghost face too

-he would give you lots of kisses

-cuddles, attention

-would make sure you’re just as happy without them

-smirks a bit when the tv announcement comes on that they’ve died under “mysterious circumstances”

[fictionalmenxyn]

༺𝐚 𝐡𝐞𝐥𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐝༻

Pairing: cowboy!rafe x cowgirl!reader

Warning: language, suggestive touching/speaking and that’s all :)

(Just a blurb not a chapter)

༺❂༻

Just another sunny day at Y/l/n ranch. The warm weather and slight summer breeze runs through your hair. Thankfully the breeze isn’t strong enough to wear a jacket or knock your brown cowboy hat off.

You were currently squatting, grabbing a big bag of chicken feed. As you were about to stand up with the big bag, there was a knock. You looked up, over your shoulder. You smiled at the sight. It was Rafe, his famous smirk on his lips.

“Hey doll, need help?”

“Uh yeah sure, thanks”

You moved out of the way for Rafe to effortlessly pick up the chicken feed and walk out of the storage shed. You point to your quad “just put it on there f’me, please” he nodded and walked over putting the bag down. You climb onto the quad. You look to Rafe “I thought you had to help your dad out today?” He smile and rested his one palm on the front of your quad. “We ended up doing at all yesterday, turns out the fence for the goats didn’t take as long as we thought.”

You smiled “you got the kids?!” He chuckled and nodded “yeah, baby, we got ‘em.” You smile widens “aww, when are they arriving at the ranch?” “Next week, and before you say it, yes, you can come and see ‘em.” You practically squealed in excitement, to which he laughed at.

You offered “since you probably don’t have much to do, you can hang out with me and help a bit…” he smiled and nodded “sure thing, princess.” He walked round and climbed onto the quad. Wrapping his one arm around your waist as the other holds the bag of chicken feed so it wouldn’t fall off. You turned the ignition of the quad before driving it down a small dirt path and over to the ducks and chickens. You park up the quad and climb off, your brown worn in Chelsea Docs hit the dirt and gravel.

You were about to reach for the bag, Rafe swatted your hands away “I’ve got it.” You playfully roll your eyes. He knew you could do it, you’ve done it many times. By he wanted to.

You walk over to the coops, grabbing the ‘egg collector’ your mother would say. It’s a navy apron that has many pockets to fit eggs in. You started to collect the eggs as Rafe would feel the ducks and chickens.

You feel pinching on your leg, you laugh “Betty, quit!” You look down to see the chicken pecking at your leg… once again… like always.

You see Rafe walk back over “how many eggs?” You smile and turn to him “uhh seven chicken, three duck.” He smiles “seems like a good day, eh?” You nod.

You head over to the quad and putting the eggs in the cream that’s tied onto the back of the quad by bungee cords. You carefully place the eggs into the cotton and straw. You look over to see your two border collies run over, Zeus and Athena. You raise an eyebrow, they were in the house earlier. Then you see your younger brother by the open front door. You shout “what’re you doing with the dogs!?” He shouted back “mom said to bring the sheep in, shaving day later today!” You nodded.

Rafe smiled “let’s get this flock in, huh?” You nodded and climbed onto the quad “drop the eggs off first.” He climbed on and wrapped both arms around your waist. He rested his chin on your shoulder as you drove. As you make your way over to the front of the house, your mom was already at the porch waiting. You smile “hey momma” she smiled “hey both, got the eggs?” Rafe nodded “got ‘em all here for you, ma’am.” Your mother playfully rolls her eyes “Rafe, you don’t need to go all formal on me, I’m particularly another mother to ya!” You all laugh. She steps down from the porch and collected the eggs from the basket and into her cardigan pockets.

“Alright, I’ll let you two gather the flock in.” She gave you both a wave before heading inside. You turn in the quad, heading down one of the far fields.

As you rolled up, Zeus and Athena ran along the sides of the quad and waited for your call. “Walk up!” The two dogs ran into the large open field.

You stood on the quad, Rafe remains seated. His hands on the outside of your jean covered thighs. You shout “Zeus away t’me!” Zeus pushes the flock to the right. “Athena come by!” She pushes the rest of the flock to the left. Brining the flock of sheep into the middle of the field.

Soon enough, you and the help of your two border collies, had got the sheep into a small field ready for later. Rafe smiles and pats your thigh “atta girl.” You playfully roll your eyes as you sit on the quad. You thought for a moment.

“A penny for ya thought?”

“I can’t remember what else… oh! I remember!”

You turn the quad back on and drive towards the stables.

Soon enough you’re outside the horses stables. You park up and climb off, Rafe doing the same.

You walk into the large open stables, horses hooves and neighs can be heard. You walk over to your horses stable ‘thunder’. You climb up on the shelf as you couldn’t see over the tall (taller than you, not taller than Rafe) stable door. Rage smirks “need a hand?” You fake laugh “har har, funny…” you look over and see your stallion.

Your horse since you were five, you grew up together, literally. You smile when you see the grey and white horse. The name came from his colour of her coat. The mix of grey and white, representing a thunder cloud.

You reach out “hey there, girl, gonna give ya a fresh stable.” You hop down and grab the two fresh bales of hay. You look to Rafe “you gonna grab the hay? Or move Thunder to the outside part?” He nodded at the hay “I’ll take the hay, you get her out.” You nod. Opening the stable door, you walk over to Thunder. “Hey sweet girl, gonna have to get you to go outside f’me.”

You pat her side, using yourself as a ‘traffic cone’ you guide her to the extension of her stable. It had an indoor outdoor type of place. You were moving her to the outside part. Once you got her outside, you closed the gate. Her head peaking through the gap of the gate and the tall doorframe. You patted her neck “won’t be too long.”

You turn to see Rafe moving the second bale to near the stable door. You both grab a pitchfork each and started to dig up any dung.

You pick up one of the bales of hay, bringing it inside the stable. You pull out your pocket knife and tug on one of the strings. You rub your knife against the string, you huff when it’s not working. “You’ve forgotten to sharping your knife, huh?” You nodded at Rafe’s question.

Rafe handed you his pocket knife. “Thanks.” You use his knife that cuts the string without moving your hand against it. You do the same for three other strings. You pocket the strings. And then you both started to kick the hay around. As you try to even out the hay, you hear Rafe and his not so subtle evil laugh. As you were about to turn around, you feel hay getting kicked over you.

“You fuckin’! Get back here!”

You started to chase him around the stables. Once you got the chance, you jumped on Rafe’s back. He held your thighs so you wouldn’t fall. You balled your fist and gave him a good old noogie against his blond hair.

He laughed “hey! I’ll get ya back for that!” You laugh and hop down from his back.

Sometime later���

After a good days work, you both had got to your room. Rafe had already showed in your en-suite. Now it’s your turn. You took your Docs off, tossing them near your bedroom door. You pull your tshirt off and same goes with your jeans. Rafe let out a low whistle “damn girl, strippin’ right in front of me now??” You smile and flip him off as you stand in your en-suite.

He laughed as he rest his head on your pillows “gotta say, I’m liking the view back here!” You fake laugh, which made him laugh, then you closed the bathroom door.

After around ten or so minutes, you reemerge. You wearing one of Rafe’s Carhartt camouflage hoodies along with a pair of black cycling shorts. You walk over to the bed and climb on. Rafe was quick to pull you onto him. Your body on his. His arms snake under the hoodie and around your waist. He kissed the top of your head “good job today, baby.” “Thank you.”

You rest your chin on his chest as you look up to him. He smiles then places a soft kiss on your pink lips. You smile when he pulls away. You rest your head back on his chest.

The silence was comforting, after hearing dogs bark, horses neigh, engines roar and loads more of animals. The silence was nice after a hard day of work. That was all interrupted when you swatted Rafe’s chest. “Rafe! Don’t kill the mood!”

He chuckles, his hand still lightly squeezing your ass. “What?! Can’t help myself, when it’s right there..”

“It was staring at me first!”

“Oh that ol’ chest nut, eh?!”

You both stared at each other, then it all broke when you both started laughing. He kept his hands right where they were when you swatted him. You didn’t mind, why would you?

You close your eyes, resting your head back on his chest. You smile to yourself. Then you feel Rafe moved under you, next thing you hear is your tv. You look over to see he’s putting on a tv show you were both watching together. You both cuddle as you watched the show together, after a hard day at work, it always pays off.

༺❂༻

[staytinyweeniebeanie]

ATEEZ! Gotta catch 'em all!

Content: fluff, Pokemon AU

Warning(s): some explicit language, the real warning is that my nerd is showing 🤓

Word Count: 1.4k

Summary: the Ateez members and their partner pokemon (plus a bonus partner!) with short blurbs detailing why they are perfect for each other

A/N: I love Ateez, I love Pokemon, what more can I say? I had so much fun researching to find the very best match for each member and I had so many ideas I could probably fill out a 6 pokemon team for all of them 🤔 Enjoy!

My masterlist 💕

Seonghwa

Cinccino is both cute and elegant, and according to the Pokedex: “Its body secretes oil that this Pokémon spreads over its nest as a coating to protect it from dust. Cinccino won’t tolerate even a speck of the stuff.” Won’t tolerate a speck of dust? Sounds very familiar… Additionally, the oil Cinccino secretes is supposed to be great for your skin! That would explain how Seonghwa’s skin is so flawless!

Alternatively, I could see Morpeko as Hwa’s partner pokemon. Both have a voracious appetite, short temper, and two distinct sides! Morpeko’s “Hangry Form” could be analogous to Seonghwa’s demon mode on the stage, while the “Full Belly Mode” is sweet and adorable just like Hwa in a Lego live. Morpeko is a dark/electric type and that just feels really fitting for how haunting and electrifying Seonghwa’s performances are!

Hongjoong

Wouldn’t it be SO cute if Captain had a little Chatot to bounce beats and melodies around with while producing?! “Chatot keeps rhythm by flicking its tail feathers like a metronome. It imitates human speech.” That is literally perfect for a late-night studio sessions! Plus a flying type would be useful in rounding up the pirate crew (and based on a parrot? It fits the pirate theme a little too good tbh).

Alternatively, the Galarian Zigzagoon line would also suite Hongjoong I think. A dark-type pokemon (heyyy leader of Demon Line!), they like to pick fights, they look punk, and the final evolution has a “threatening posture and booming voice” yeah that’s our captain alright. And the final nail in the Zigzagoon line coffin; only the Linoone (second stage evolution) that demonstrates leadership qualities evolve into the final form, Obstagoon. I rest my case.

Yunho 

It’s Growlithe! Argue with your momma because I am so right on this one! Pokedex says, “Very friendly and faithful to people” and, “It has a brave and trustworthy nature” also, “It fearlessly stands up to bigger and stronger foes.” Those are straight up descriptions of Yunho. A sweet and morally right tiger/puppy for our big puppy! Other noteworthy characteristics: fire type for a fire sign (he’s an Aries), and Growlithe has the hidden ability “Justified” and I feel that Yunho has a strong sense of justice!

Alternatively, it could be Gallade for three main reasons! 1st: Gallade has the same hidden ability as Growlithe, Justified, so that still applies. 2nd: Gallade evolves from Ralts → Kirlia, both of which are dancing pokemon so that fits Mr Main Dancer perfectly. And 3rd: the serious/protective vibes from Gallade suit the more serious and protective side of Yunho. You know exactly what I’m talking about.  

Yeosang

I feel like the obvious choice would be Houndoom or some other dog pokemon for our doberman but I really think Clefairy suits him more! The Pokedex states, “Its adorable behavior and cry make it highly popular. However, this cute Pokémon is rarely found.” That is Yeosang! Adorable and highly popular, a rare gem indeed. Just a little fairy, dancing in the light of the full moon with not a single thought in its head.

Alternatively, Leavanny is also a good match! Out of all the members Yeosang feels the most bug-like to me (affectionately). “When Leavanny finds a small Pokémon, they weave clothing for it from leaves, using the cutters on its arms and sticky silk.” All I can picture is Yeo cradling that little baby with Wooyoung when they tried (and failed) to put the baby to sleep. I think Leavanny speaks to Yeo’s secret nurturing side.

San

Our Namhae boy, born and raised near the ocean with the most gentle of hearts and an angelic voice! Lapras is the perfect pokemon for him, “A smart and kindhearted Pokémon, it glides across the surface of the sea while its beautiful song echoes around it.” Lapras is also a water/ice type and San is a water sign, so +1 point! And fuck it, shiny Lapras since purple is San’s favorite color! Lapras are also known as the transport pokemon and happily ferry people and pokemon on their back… sturdy and reliable just like a mountain.

Alternatively, Polliwrath/Politoed fit the bill! Another water type, however this line is interesting because both final evolutions would suit San in my opinion. “Poliwrath’s highly developed, brawny muscles never grow fatigued, however much it exercises. It is so tirelessly strong, this Pokémon can swim back and forth across the ocean without effort.” Attests to San’s detwinkification and gym rat tendencies for sure! Or Politoed, “Whenever three or more of these get together, they sing in a loud voice that sounds like bellowing.” and all I can think of is PADAAAA, *sigh* he was so cute and so is Politoed.

Mingi

This one stumped me for a while because there are so many possibilities but I think one that most encapsulates Mingi is Toxtricity! A poison and electric type with two forms (although I think the pictured Low Amp form is more fitting), the pokedex says, “It has an electrical organ on its chest. While generating electricity, it fills its surroundings with what sounds like the strumming of a bass guitar.” That perfectly mirrors Mingi’s deep/growly baritone voice that just captures your attention immediately! Also, the Low Amp form Toxtricity have a more laidback, bashful, quiet, and serious nature which I think also describe Mingi off-camera. 

Alternatively, I couldn’t leave out an option that speaks to our Princess Minki, so I will also say Jigglypuff. It’s adorable but also a little bit annoying, loves to sing all the time (tiramisu cakeeee), and Jigglypuff need lots of attention and praise from their captive audience. That is our princess that needs protecting.

Wooyoung

Why the cunning Purrloin of course! The cunty-levels are off the charts with this one, look at the way it’s standing! I’m pretty sure I’ve seen a picture of Woo standing exactly like that. Purrloin is the most babygirl of all the pokecats and a pure dark type, so this pokemon embodies “little shit” energy. “Opponents that get drawn in by its adorable behavior come away with stinging scratches from its claws and stinging pride from its laughter.” I just think Wooyoung with a Purrloin would get into so much trouble lol, even more trouble than he already causes, RIP Hongjoong. 

Alternatively, Totodile… yes I had to pick a biter, but I have other reasons too! “It is small but rough and tough. It won’t hesitate to take a bite out of anything that moves.” Lmao, come on now! Woo is the very definition of small and rough and tough! We all saw the Salary Lupin episodes, he’s scrappy for sure. And while Wooyoung is a sagittarius, he’s got a cancer moon so it’s giving water sign energy! 

Jongho

For our maknae, I choose the Stuffle Line, no further questions. I’m kidding of course, but how perfect is Stuffle/Bewear?! For Stuffle, the pokedex states, “Its fluffy fur is a delight to pet, but carelessly reaching out to touch this Pokémon could result in painful retaliation.” Is that not Baby Bear any time the members try to hug or kiss him? A normal/fighting type also seems fitting for the “most normal” member of Ateez. Very much giving “Looks like a cinnamon roll, could kill you” energy.

Alternatively, Cetoddle (specifically Cetoddle, not necessarily its evolution) would also suit Jongho! Another tank of a pokemon that loves the ice/snow just like our baby bear. Couldn’t you see him snowboarding down a snowy mountain with this cutie beside him? Or them building a snow-pokemon in the winter? My heart is melting (or freezing?) just thinking about it!!!

And that’s it! My first post 🥹 I hope you enjoyed this silly little headcannon! Drop a comment of which pokemon would be your partner 🌟

All writing content created here belongs to @staytinyweeniebeanie and I do not consent to my work being reposted on other platforms without permission!

Reblogs and Comments are always welcome and highly appreciated!

Divider by @enchanthings 

[ultr6violnce]

smutty danny hc's/ideas idk!!

a/n: i couldn't wait any longer to write ab him cuz i genuinely have the biggest brainrot of him rn im going so genuinely insane so pls enjoy this!! these aren't all js hc's some are just like little imagines n' stuff so pls enjoy and feel free to request anything!!!

so to start this off i feel like he's definitely into toys. especially vibrators n' cock rings. but he'll also be into dildos 100%. he js loves using em' to put on a lil show for u :(( fucking himself on a dildo whilst jerkin' himself off cuz he knows u love it.

he is also so sloppy n' messy when giving head like oml. from his mouth to his chin he will be SOAKED. like he will bury himself in ur pussy like he lives in there tbh. n' he'd be so sloppy as he just makes a mess of himself whilst eatin' u out.

(this is based off of the request i got so um ya!!) so he's definitely into like sex after a tiring day. so you'd both had a tiring day right? but poor lil danny can't help but need you so bad. desperate to relieve his stress :((. he'd start off by just grinding himself against you as you layed in bed y'know? js humping his aching cock against you to relieve his growing hard on. eventually getting so needy he begins to slowly slide off ur bottoms and his own , after a while eventually sliding himself inside you , burying his face into ur neck as he lazily begins to fuck up into you , soft whimpers and whines leaving his lips as he just bucks his hips up inside you. due to how needy he is , he's not able to last long so with a couple of thrusts he eventually empties his big long awaited load inside you.

and going off of that he also loves humping. he does not care what he humps as long as it makes him cum it's good enough. so if you're not there to fulfill his needs he will literally just begin humping anythin in sight :((

he loves bondage idc. (this is also based off of the ask i got i decided to use it so um ya!!) he especially loves when you use that pretty pink ribbon to tie him him up :((. having his naked body sprawled out on the bed whilst his arms are just tied back with the pretty pink ribbon making him look all cute as he stays sprawled out for u waiting to be used.

he loves calling u thinks like "momma" especially when ur being so gentle with his delicate body. like he could have his back pressed against you as you gentle jerk off his aching red cock and he'd just slip out with calling u momma whilst he squirms as he reaches his climax :((

a/n: it's not much ik but i low-key ran out of ideas so ya!! but i will make more of these js leave me some more requests!! hope u like this and ya!! BYEEEEE <33

[lsjhl]

Nose in the Snow Pt.1

Parings:

Alcina Dimitrescu x Agender reader

Summary: Turning against your family was not on your 2024 bingo card but after a threat in the woods reveals itself you might win a prize.

Words: 1.3k+

The sharp edges of the metal cuffs cut into my wrists as I growl at my children and wife. I'm not sure why this is happening, but I know I'm scaring them. I feel like a passenger in a car flying down the highway knowing it will crash. 

Oh, I can see my sweet Bela wishing to come closer, I move back. I don't know what's happening but I do know I don't want to hurt my family.

– one week ago –

“er? oney? Y/N!?” I blink and look over to Alcina. “Yes, love?” I ask as I take in the worried expression she wears. 

“I asked if you were alright, you've been staring out of the window for some time now and while I know you love to bird watch, dear, there is no such evidence of life in the depth of winter right this moment” Alcina continues with her concerns.

I look at her still a bit fuzzy in the head and from behind my right shoulder, I hear my youngest of three. “Mother, you know father is crazy,” my dear Daniela says, and before Alcina can reprimand her for the unnecessary comment I ask something far more important than my faltering mind state.

“Who got to throw the dart?” 

A little backstory to this. You see in our world ravaged by the T-virus there will be a somewhat little chance that someone you know is infected. Either a small bit, enough to hold out longer than others if given a stronger dose, or fully infected. Umbrella was never good at keeping their dogs on a leash. 

So given that mutants and the savage bipedal we call humans live in one world together we have found ways to keep ourselves aligned.

For Alcina, that means breaking all our furniture or if caught fast enough having one of us take her to Heisenberg and having him allow Alcina to wreak havoc in his scrap yard. Anger issues, we all have ‘em.

My oldest, Bela, enjoys just finding a nice sunny spot and taking in some quiet time, it's impossible to reach her in the summer when she wishes to be alone. Not due to it being hard to find her but because I will strike for blood if someone dares bother my dear daughter. But I will relay a message. She does so much for this family, I will do anything in my power to get her downtime

Cassandra my middle child is big on throwing a mean right hook so boxing is right up her alley. She loves violence and gets it from her mother. But I do take credit for the care she puts into taking the proper measures to keep herself safe and having continued fun along with knowing the correct steps of taking good care of whatever weapon she uses.

And little daredevil Daniela loves to give her mother heart attacks by climbing anything she can get her callused grabby hands on. It’s a challenge trying to get her inside during the warmer months and winter is hell for both her and me. Her because she can't climb anything taller than about thirteen feet and me because I can’t allow her to climb anything higher than thirteen feet, I wish to give my daughters everything but I dont want her hitting her head on the ceiling in the library or getting to close to the openable skylight during the cold season.  

Gosh, how I love all of them for what makes them special, and they do for me too. Now while I might not have furniture slash face breaking anger or cat-like activities under my belt my family still counts one thing as The Thing™ that makes me special. I am not one to care for certain social roles and to make a long story short, I'm agender. This means that I experience and live through having no gender, so every morning, my wife or our three adorable kids will grab a dart and throw it at a modified dart board we had made that has sections labeled as Mom, Father, Momma, and Dad. The main reason for this was that I wanted my family to have an easy way to call me without having a stroke on thinking of what labels I might prefer. You can tell which it landed on today.

“I did!” little Daniela says proudly with a bright smile that falls as soon as she hears the next words out of her mother's mouth. “Daniela, what did I say about calling your father crazy?” Alcina goes off and while she does I turn my focus back to the window dissociating from my soundings trying to find the shadows at the edges of my mind. That is until I hear Daniela’s small “but he is” in terms of my mental state and wanting her not to feel bad I chime in with “I hear people in the walls” added with a goofy grin slapped on my face as I direct my look to be at my wife. 

She, of course, gives me an exasperated look, and with a roll of her eyes she puts down that claim with a “No, you dont.” Then looks me up and down with a flicker of worry and adds “You dont right?” I chuckle and softly say no as my smile morphs into something more natural and full of undying love rather than silly mischief. That is until I go back to my delusions, “I do think we have people hiding in the woods watching us” and before I allow that statement to sink in I continue “Or it’s like a bird or something, who knows” I finish with a shrug and an unbothered expression.

“What was it you were saying mother, about father not being demented?” I hear my oldest, Bela, say as she enters the library. They continue their talk on my fragmented brain and I now have my forehead against the glass of the window still lost in my mind thinking and re-thinking the same few things. Human, animal, shadow, crazy, crow? Birds, love, birds. So on and so on.

I feel my eyes move right and left as I look for the thing lurking in my wife's woods. I saw something, I'm always seeing something. God schizophrenia is a bitch.

 I'm going to go check it out.

I turn to the library doors and take one step before my last daughter steps in front of me to block my path. “Fathers lost again,” Cassandra says before I feel the strong hands that belong to my wife pick me up. “Oh Draga, are the woods bothering you this much?“ She says softly into my ear as she cradles me to her chest. I feel myself cut back into the current world and blink slowly once before looking up at Acina with an innocent face. “I'm okay but I do want to go look at the woods for a bit, just to settle myself.” She nods and goes to put me down, that is until we both hear Daniela and Cassandra whine.

“No fair, why does father get to be picked up?” Daniela says soon followed by her older sister adding “Yeah, I want to be picked up too” I chuckle and hold my hands up in a ‘calm down’ motion “Okay, okay. Once your mother lets me down I'm sure she’ll give you three a boost up” I look the trio over and see two enthusiastic head nods and one slow shy one from my sweet Bela.

Looking back at my wife I ask to be let down and with some hesitation, she does so. “I'm going to grab my boots. I'll be back in 10 minutes, okay?” I say while walking backward to the door. ”Be safe and do keep me updated if you find anything” Alcina says as our three little girls start climbing her like a tree and she gently swats at them.

Grabbing my boots and a heavy jacket I go out through the kitchen to find the thing or things that have been bothering me.

[luxios-chaotic-fucking-pokemon]

Hey there trainers! I’m Luxio! Yes, I know I’m named after the Pokémon, don’t even say it.

I was a big Pokémon trainer as a kid—although you can probably guess since I have an Eternatus on my team. I wouldn’t say I’m old now, I mean, I’m 22—but the whole “gotta catch ‘em all” thing has kinda slowed down for me.

Now I own a Pokémon Café! Maybe stop by sometime? And if you see a Pokémon you like there, you can adopt it! Aside from the Café, though, I do art as a sort of side-gig. What can I say, it’s fun!

Now, you might’ve noticed Spook doesn’t look like most gengar would. That’s because he’s an albino gengar! They’re very rare in the wild, but there’s always a chance you’ll find one! Albino gengar are notorious for their unique fur patterns, which are invisible on regular and shiny gengar. Spook is also a mini Pokémon! So he’s fun sized!

Oh, and don’t mind Creampuff, they’re a sweetheart! In fact, they wouldn’t hurt a Pidgey! They actually have the more timid personality, so they’re usually a lot more scared of you than you are of it. Creampuff definitely has separation anxiety as well, which I’ve been trying to work on.

(Under the cut is some OOC stuff)

Here’s Luxio’s and Spook’s reference sheets!

And also Luxio’s motorcycle

And I’ll give some information about the other Pokémon (that aren’t Creampuff and Spook): Momma was found mourning the loss of her deceased baby, which had apparently been killed by either a careless trainer or… well, not a nice person. Luxio soothed her and brought her home, introducing her to Nico.

Nico had previously been found in the café’s dumpster, trying to find anything edible. That’s when one of the employees caught him and brought him to Luxio, who took him in.

Momma, after being introduced to Nico, immediately decided to adopt him and take him as her own. Nico was, quite frankly, ecstatic to have an adopted mother. This improved both of their mental healths significantly.

Spaghetti-o’s was found in a dark cave, and Luxio promptly caught it. It’s very fond of alphabet soup and anything that’s shaped like its own kind. It’s very sensitive to light and usually prefers to stay within its Pokéball unless the environment is nice and dark, damp, and cool.

Grilled Cheese The Third (or Cheese, for short) has been with Luxio since she started out. Luxio had thought the name was funny when Cheese was just a little Houndour. Cheese, despite being older now, is still just as energetic as she was when she was a puppy. She also really likes instigating and bothering the less-social Pokémon. Cheese has also tried to eat a few Joltik, but that didn’t end well in her favor (she got zapped, lmfao).

Now, here’s some info about the owner of this account!

My main blog is @autistic-gay-men-kissing and my art blog is @gothys-art-n-stuff. I’m also on ArtFight 👀

I go by he/him, I’m genderfluid, pansexual, and polyamorous (basically the same as Luxio LMFAO). I’m also a Hellenic Pagan, so there’s a fun fact for you <3 hope you guys like this blog and my OC’s story!!

tagging @realpokemon

Also, EVERYTHING IS ON!! Yippee!!

and for those on ArtFight, here’s Luxio!! Spook is on there too

hey I also do comms

[jamiedryssnail]

Failed Launch

AlwaysYouAu

Will Smith x Astrid Hughes

Liked by _willsmith2, jackhughes, jessepollock22, and 673,278 others

astridhughes momma approved

jackhughes who in the fuck is that!???

lhughes_06 haha you don’t know, seriously

_quinnhughes I quite like him you know how to pick ‘em azzy

astridhughes why thankyou huggy

jackhughes tell me before I have a aneurism

astridhughes good job Jack that’s a big word!

trevorzegras I thought I was ur in n out big backed bestie

astridhughes u r he can barley eat a whole burger

trevorzegras pfffff loser ( I actually really like him )

jackhughes you KNOW??????

astridhughes hush Jack have a nap or smth

colecaufield real!!! he gets angry when he’s sleepy

astridhughes @jackhughes see you must listen to ur hubby

user2737 wait he’s blonde could it be Luca

gabeperreault44 oh he looks familiar

_willsmith2 very 🧐

ryan.leno_4 very very

jacob_fowler24 very very very

bclover23 wait bc boys in the comments blonde hair hear me out — will —

Liked by astridhughes, gabeperreault44, mckennaestapa_, and 98,827 others

_willsmith2 new new new

gabeperreault44 old old old news to me

ryan.leno_4 cutie pies

ryan.leno_4 that felt weird to say

mckennaestapa_ love love love this

user362837_72 it’s TOTALLY astrid

hockeylover29 who’s Astrid

seamuscasey26 and you call urself hockey lover bffr

astridhughes I love auntie Anne’s

Uploaded Stories - the one we’re will accidentally added to his main.

[crustaceanchauffeur]

OFF CASTE BLOOD COLORS

What is good my mutie crew!? it's your number one old planetary post ban from the Warren coming at you live!

This wipe we're talking BLOOD- The definin' trait of the offcaste, your blood's weird, wet, wacky, and WILD! Be it unrecognizable like our's truly Kankrizzle the Suffering Signless, blurring the hemospectrum like y'all sicknasty cuspies, or switching teams involun T-A-R-L to the Y style like yall funkilicious chromatic transition fellas out there.

So! Blood! You got it in your noodles! You paint it in your doodles! Get a lil freaky you can bake it in your strudels! We all know the 'leven on the spectrum but what about this off-caste biz? What funky hues in your shoes? Now lets get this flow started by covering them SICK base Sics.

The Leven ! You know em, you love em, statistically speakin you probably are one! Its no news to hues that burg through feu...rg.. fuchsieurg... Yeah. We got Burgundy, Bronze, Gold, Ollie, Jade, Teal, Cerulean, Cobalt, Purple, Violet, and the biggie Fuchsieurg. Nothin too inchwrestling in there, unless youve been livin deeper under a rock than even ol me. Naw- What gets you wakin' up are the Cuspies.

Is it hard to tell if you're green or blue? You look one caste in one light and another in another? You got traits of two neighboring castes? You migh' be a Cusp! Now bein' a cusp makes you just as illegal as any offcaste- you just have an easier time blending yourself right on in when y' bloods getten up all close n personal with two a the big eleven.

A good friend of mine- big goldie- real weird blood, real charmer- Now they has a theory goin' up n on that the hemospectrudle is straight up pseudoscience- a real artificial constraint keepin us down- an they think cusps are the numero uno proof. They gave me a counter argument though- real nitpicker, they- that maybe if the hemospectrum is the baseline natural order of thing an thangs and yall cuspies out there are how our spectacular spectrum bleeds together! Give that theory nuff time and hypothetically, the hemospectrum falls either way. Grub for thought I say, that that big oll order falls apart even when let live long and lone.

Some o' th weirder hemo schemos tcha girls beheldos come from what i've been told are called 'chimera,' or eggsplice for th rest o us. The eye to the dios mio es that when all yall of us are all up in big momma G, sometimes we eggy fellas get all mashed up into eachother, an some freaky stuff can hap to the gubabies. Most o the toast one o yalls prelarvas hot lava gets straight up consumed by the other. Not in a blood and food noodles way, but in a needlecritter way, slurpin' up all that good M the Grub Juise an remelting they egg pardner.

This ain' all th time though, sometimes them goopy lil gups get all globby and glue them gushers all gup and gover themgelves, getting gall gestalt and ghiit. This makes one grubtastic eggy with one itty bitty bippy in there with th amino springs o two. Two coexistin' sets jus all up in there harmonious and livin'. This makes some real strange blood and bod combos, on one prong yall can be real up there with the extra huskbits, Arms +1, +2, +3, eyes 100, thats what i call a netcritter-troll. On that otha prong yalls can be straight up indistinguishable from a typicolor grayguy. All depends how creative Momma G got mixing them gups. Supes easy be mistaken for cusphood, muddy blood hues, and blurs.

If your blood looks jus a tad diffrent depining on the limb it calls hive, might be that your crafting recipes a liiitle more diverse than you expect. Not even too many items got a good splanation for you there. And don't think you on-ies are free from splicehood, same caste chimera are a lit bit rarer an a lotta botta stealthier. Chimerahood don't just happen in duos either i hear from the big blue boy, this battle bus can be droppin' with player counts upwards of a whole clutch!

Somethin' thats right up there wit it, the nearhue of the caste mixing filial thicket is those hues that slide from one to two! Thats right yall, changing colors aint just for the ambitious goldies, mad scientists, and dyschromic! Sometimes that sweet slimey bod gets all gunkled up in the sack an apostrophe 'tivates too many acts and yall's amino springs get bouncin' out with a few too many hues! That big ol goldie i mentioned? Yeah his sizzlin sign assigned at pupation? Sagrist. When my man was pupa pan he had two horns straight like spears yet when he got just a lil past when he dodged that big ol fishies order to the borders, they crown was a straight four prong. Mothergrub's orb his prongs split and to this day like a goldie in gray my ashblood bud got a crown like an archecutioner pailed the helmsman. In all my ways an all my days for some U Enty K own reason, blue->au do be real common hue by comparizzle to the average drizzle- I seen three- Achievement get! Not countin' those with some lineated blood apostrophe lations that is.

...

Now tchagrillmaster turned that raw dogg right over and that underside real crispy flesh-carapace-o-tha-point fell right on down t' the smoulderin' smoulderclumps clumped down in the flames, an my pans slipped like y' ancient ancestor down a flight a terraced platform risers. In other words, topic do be switchmaxxing.

Now back round to big graygreen goldie, now I happen to know this tall dark and hornsome fella- real big troll- COVERED in horns all up like a grub got they candied maize picked pre pupate style cranked up a few times. Now when I met this bristly endertroll he wasn' pickin up cubes an zorpin, he was gettin' my good dehornin' friend to zaw right through one o' those big boney boys 'been blockin' his beautiful bulbs, an this cut was a deep cut- hornbeds byebye- blood 'n all an' yall never guess what color a paint this fellas had in his cellas.

Pitch at first second and third sight- cause that blood ain't changin'- color of hate so pure and true, straight up gravity-black oilstyle six ways from nubsday. Straight up color of the tyrant himself! Checked it out and 'was truly id to the cull. Splains the spikes now, dont it?

Now from the stealthy cuspie to the pitch black bloodbrother, Yall know some a the wonderful ways our hues do play.

The overdue yellow-green hue: Oftcas out.