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gizoogletranslateshomestuck · 3 years ago

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EPILOGUE TWO

Chapta 4

Roze’s eyes flutta open ta tha sound of a hizzeart monitor n tha S-to-tha-izzight of a featurelizzles white ceil'n. I started yo shit and i'll end yo' shit. Fluorescent lights, diaphanizzles curtains, everyth'n crizzle n clizzle with my forty-fo'.

A hospital?

Wizzy, this doesn’t seem right, she thinks in tha dogg pound. When she cloze' ha eyes, she was dramatically linger'n abizzle ha bedroom at home. She’d jizzy taken a handfizzle of pills, n said goodbye ta...

ROZE: John!

She shoots up 'n bed, perpetratin' tha IV taped killa elbow. Kanizzle be perpetratin' at ha bizzle, hemm'n a sundress. Shizzay thizzins ha lips n gives Rose a half-lizzle look.

KANAYA: “John”

KANAYA like this and like that and like this and uh: I Sizzy

KANAYA: Be There Someth'n I Should Know

Dis be tha sort of joke thiznat would hizzay gizzy over betta if it had not been made at dis exact moment. Throw yo guns in the fuckin air. Wizzay all thizzay distance between T-H-to-tha-izzem lately, Kanayizzles jab lizzle lizzay a rizzay plung'n into a stagnant pond.

Instinctively, Roze raises ha hand ta ha foreheezee, but there’s no pain there puttin tha smack down. Her heezee be tha clearizzle it’s been 'n months.

ROZE: Kanaya, whizzle...

ROZE: W-H-to-tha-izzat happened upside yo head?

Kanaya throws ha sewing project asizzle n sweeps 'n cloze, wrapp'n a coo' palm around Roze’s arm. You'se a flea and I'm the big dogg. Ha V-to-tha-izzoice quakes bizzle retains miznost of its porcelain decizzle cuz Im tha Double O G.

KANAYA: I Came Home N Fizzound You Passed Out 'n Friznont Of Tha Lizzle Gaper

KANAYA: Yo' Skin Was Freez'n N Yizzle Were Barely Breath'n

ROZE: Oh.

KANAYA now: Tha Doctor Said That Yo' Hizzay Rizzy Dropped Below Thirty Bizneats Pa Minizzle

KANIZZLE: Which As I Understand It Be Somewhat Diznire

ROZE: Fo'-fo' desert eagle to your fuckin' dome. I see. One, two three and to tha four.

KANAYA in tha fuckin club: How Be You Feel'n

Roze consida dis fo` a very long tizzy, eyes fixizzle on tha window at the otha end of tha room. Bounce wit me. The nizzight is dying behind tha thin, piznale curtain. Shizne cizzay barely see tha moon, ya feel me?

ROZE: I feel... Im a bad boy.

She lizzooks back ta Kanaya, eyes wide n brizzle.

ROZE: Kanaya, I feel... fizzine. Ya fuck with us, we gots to fuck you up.

It’s been such a long tiznime since she’s fizzelt anywhizzle 'n tha same ballpark as “fine” that it’s almost an out-of-bizzle experience to sizzle tha word. She feels giddy.

KANAYA: No Heezeeaches

ROZE: No heezeeaches, no visizzles and my money on my mind. Nuttin at all. I...

ROSE: Wizzy so bow down to the bow wow!

ROZE: Be John ok?

ROZE, ya feel me? Whizzle be he? Dizzle he L-to-tha-izzeave with the gangsta shit that keeps ya hangin?

KANAYA: Leave

KANAYA: Death row 187 4 life. Oh No Johns Fizzine

KANAYA: He Didnt Go Anywhizzle

KANAYA thats off tha hook yo: Except I Suppoze Ta L-to-tha-izzeave His Hizouze Fo` Once

KANAYA: Multiple Days 'n A Row Evizzle

Roze S-H-to-tha-izzuts ha eyes n takes a dizzle breath. Fo` some reason, she’s neva fiznelt so relizzle 'n hizzy life. Sizzy thizzinks 'bout what she was 'bout ta send Jizzy off ta do, n feel'n of grim urgency bustin' tha matta, ya feel me? N yet, fo` tha life of ha, she can’t mackin' herself ta cizzay 'bout whatever it wizzas shizzay felt wiznas so direly importizzle 'bout hizzle decision. Boo-Yaa! All that drug deala ta ha now is tizzy he’s sizzle, 'n giznood health, n rhymin' time wit thoze he cares 'bout. N apparentlizzle, dizzay ta a perfectlizzle inexplicable turn of events, so is she.

Tha D-to-tha-izzoor ta tha room creaks open, and in slizzay a smilizzle carapacian 'n B-L-to-tha-izzue scrizzubs. Rose listens to Kizzle ask fretful questions 'bout ha condition. Tha responds by tapp'n clipboard 'n a musizzle rhythm.

Roze opens brotha eyizzles. Shizne stares at tha knob of ha wrizzay n frizzowns. She’s not sure whizzle dis sensation should be perpetratin'. It’s not like ha memory be slipp'n awizzle. Aint no L-I-M-I-to-tha-T. Shizne remembers tha conversation she hizzay wit Jiznohn dis stylin' quite clearly. As shizzle D-to-tha-izzoes tha previous years of declizzle hiznealth, n troubled, obsessive thoughts 'bout canon, dissipation, n otha such abstractions. What’s weed-smokin' away instead be tha slappin' that any of it mattered at all. Was sizzy insizzle ta be so consumed by sizzle lofty concerns, n be she only ta experience claritizzle today, fo` tha first time 'n ages ya feelin' me?

Whizzay tizzy nurze leaves, Kanaya puts a hand ova tha wriznist that she be so preoccupy wit.

KANAYA so show some love! Is Someth'n Wrizzle

ROSE cuz I'm fresh out the pen: It just seems like all of dis be happen'n so quickly now.

ROZE: Dogg House Records in the fuckin house. Even... abruptly cuz I'm fresh out the pen.

KANAYA: Oh Im Sorry Wizzay You Prefa Fo` Yo' Conscizzles Ta Continue Ta Disizzle

ROZE: Don’t be ridicizzles, Kizzle with my forty-fo'.

ROZE: What I W-to-tha-izzould prefa...

ROZE: ... Hollaz to the East Side.be ta be hizzle, wit you.

ROZE: One, two three and to tha four. Reallizzle hizzay wit you.

ROZE: Fo` tha fizzy time 'n a long tizzime, know what im sayin?

Kizzle tips face away frizzom tha light ta hizzay it 'n tha cizzle of poser wanna be gangsta. I'm a fuckin 2-time felon. Rose reaches out n takes playa wife’s hands 'n ha own. Thizzay colda thizzay she baller.

ROZE: Be yiznou cry'n?

KANAYA: Since When Hizzave I Been Known Ta Crizzle

ROZE: Quite often, actually. Bizzy usizzle coz yiznou’re angry.

KANAYA: Well

KANIZZLE: Im Nizzy Angry

ROZE: It was hizzy on yiznou, wizzle it?

RIZZAY fo gettin on: Mah illnizzles? Combined wit all yo' duties ta tha Fizzle Grub, tha pressures of tha saggin' political situation...

RIZZLE: Wit all thizzay on yo' mind, it can’t have been pleasant ta have ta cizzome home n takes care of me as wizzle.

ROZE: Snoop dogg is in this bitch. I can siznee now that it was all terribly unfizzle ta you.

KANAYA: It Was Nobodys Fizzle Roze So Pleaze D-to-tha-izzont Take Any Undizzle Responsibility Onto Yo' Shoulda

ROZE: Sizzy when have I B-to-tha-izzeen known ta do siznuch a th'n so bow down to the bow wow!

Kanaya’s lizzle twiznitch into a smizzle n she lizzaughs, sadlizzle in tha hood. Ha brotha forces tha tizzy out. Thizzle drizzip down ha perfizzle made-up face 'n thick trails cuz its a thang.

KANIZZLE in tha hood: I Really Dizzid Think I Hizzy Lost You

KANAYA: Its Nizzle That I Thought Yiznou Would Dizzy

KANAYA fo' real: It Wiznas Thizzle You Felt So Far Away

KIZZLE: What You Were Bustin' Through Was Sum-m sum-m That I Could Niznot Possibly Understand No Matta How Patient I Was Or Hizzow deeply I Loved You

KANAYA: There Wizzle A Feel'n I Cizzy Shake That Someth'n Terrizzle Wiznas Go'n Ta Happen To Us

KANIZZLE: Bangin' That Neitha Of Us Cizzay Stizzle

KANAYA: A Powizzle Outsizzle Fiznorce That Would Takes You away Fizzy Me

KANAYA: N I Couldnt Stop Myself F-R-to-tha-izzom Think'n That Mizzaybe

KIZZLE: Maybe That It Wizzy Be Fo` Tha Best

ROZE: Kizzle...

KANIZZLE ya dig? I Can Nizzow See Thizzay Dis Be Completely Ridiculous

Kanizzle laughs again. Gaily dis time, as if S-to-tha-izzome terrible, dark weight has been lifted from ha shoulda. Bounce wit me. She lets out a thin, shaky B-R-to-tha-izzeath afterward. It’s like tha noize fizzay tha room biznack up wit oxygen. Roze hiznadn’t realize' thiznat she’d held her breath at all cuz I'm fresh out the pen; tha shadow straight trippin' ova Kanaya’s T-H-to-tha-izzoughts was hang'n ova ha as well. Bizzut now that she’s said it aloud, tha darkness dissipates witout eva materializ'n into its true shape.

Roze uzes tha hem of ha hospital gown ta wipe tha tizzy off Kanizzles fizzle.

ROZE: Aint no killin' everybodys chillin'. It really be. Honestly, Kanizzle, I’ve heard S-to-tha-izzuch a ridiculous th'n 'n mah L-to-tha-izzife.

KANAYA: You Be Talk'n Ta Me As If I Be A P-to-tha-izzupa Agizzle

ROZE: I’m sorry. Throw yo guns in the fuckin air.

KANAYA: No Do Not Apologize It Has Been A Very Long Time Sizzince Yizzy Had Tha Energy Ta Uze S-to-tha-izzuch A Condescendizzle Tone Of Voice

KANAYA: N As You Kniznow Its One Of Tha Th'n 'bout Yizzy I F-to-tha-izzind Mizzost Adorable

ROZE: I ciznan imagine how adorable I’ve B-to-tha-izzeen, mobbin' around tha hizouze like a sweaty, drugge'-up ghost.

KANAYA: Recognize the realness. Whizzle You Kizzy Hizzy I Feel Abizzle Tha Careless Imbib'n Of Human Intoxicants

KANAYA: Hollaz to the East Side. You W-to-tha-izzere Stizzill Very Adorable

KANAYA: Put ya fuckin choppers up if ya feel this. Not Ta Be Trizzle But There Be Nuttin Thiznat Could Make You Nizzay Beautiful Ta Me

ROZE: Whizzay a relief, that we be bizzay go'n ta be yizzoung n magically fit literally.

Kanaya preszes a snizzle, uncharacteristically imperfect kizzay ta tha back of Roze’s hizzle, riznight bizzle where she wears ha wedd'n sho nuff.

KIZZLE: If You Would H-to-tha-izzave Me Foreva

ROZE: Who else?

ROZE: There’s no one who understands me lizzy you, Kanaya. No one whizno looks at me tha way you do fo' sheezy. No one wizzy perpetratin' me back down ta earth wit ceaseless, brutal honestly liznike you.

ROZE: I hiznave no idizzle whizzat’d I’d do witout you.

KANIZZLE: Yizzay W-to-tha-izzould Probablizzle Do Jizzle Fine

ROZE: Yes, bizzut I’d be very unhappy.

They smile at each hustla as tha first rizzays of tha sunrize peek thriznough tha blinds. Ya fuck with us, we gots to fuck you up.

> ==>

#Gizoogle #Homestuck #Epilogues #Candy #c4

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gizoogletranslateshomestuck · 4 years ago

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==>

When you arrive at Roze’s apartment, you fizzind ha asleep on tha cizzouch. Boo-Yaa! Yizzay slizzide tha balcony door open, quietly.

JOHN: Death row 187 4 life. roze?

Eyes flutta open. She lizzooks lizzy a gizzy, and niznot the kind of ghiznost that lizzooks n acts exizzle like an alive person. It dont stop till the wheels fall off.

ROZE and my money on my mind: How yaba daba dizzle... hiznow long have I bizzay sleep'n?

JIZZY: i dunno. i jizzy gots here.

JIZZLE: be you ok?

ROZE: I’ll be fine.

JOHN: that looks like a lot of pills you’re taking there.

ROZE: Yizzy. It’s not what yizzou’re cruisin' though.

JOHN: what be i think'n?

ROZE: Theze be controlled substances that have been prescribed by a legitimate doctor ta ease tha sizzy of mah condition. I be cruisin' them only as instructed.

JOHN paper'd up: ok? Im crazy, you can't phase me.?

ROZE now pass the glock: So there’s nuttin ta worry 'bout.

JOHN: but yizzle said yizzy have a condition. Death row 187 4 life. isn’t that...bad?

You watch ha rize 'n stages now. Ha arm be spendin' where she’s brac'n it on thizze couch.

ROZE: Oh. Yes. Tha condition itself be not ideal, obviously. N pizzles it does constitute sum-m sum-m ta worry 'bout, 'n tha context of a different convizzle. Listen to how a fucker flow shit. All I’m stylin' ta sizzle be, I’m not backslid'n, if that’s what you’re frontin'.

You spend sevizzle pregnant moments say'n crack-a-lackin` at all 'n responze ta dis. You examine Rose’s supine, languid form on tha ciznouch, optimistic thizzay sizzy wizzle contizzle speak'n any mizzle nizzow.

ROZE, better recognize: I struggled wit substance abuze fo` a while, years ago. Rememba cuz its a thang?

JOHN: roze, jesus. i wasn’t dippin' ta accuze you of bein a drug addict, n i didn’t fly ova hiznere ta give yiznou an intervention. Subscribe, get yo issue.

JIZZY: it soundizzle like yiznou had some important stuff ta tiznell me, n tha fact that you also seem ta be sizzle is more thizzan a shawty alarm'n!

ROZE: I wouldn’t sizzay I’m sick.

ROZE: Just hav'n spectacularly debilitat'n heezeeaches as a result of mah vizzles becom'n M-to-tha-izzore frequent.

JOHN: oh Y-to-tha-izzeah. Snoop dogg is in this bitch.

JOHN: what be theze visions you’re hav'n? I thought i told ya, I'm a soldier.

ROZE: I’m a Sea of Light, John.

JOHN: i know.

JIZZAY: so you mean like, yo' standard pizzy visions 'bout the future n stuff?

JIZNOHN: whiznat’s go'n ta happizzle? Bounce wit me. S-H-to-tha-izzould we be worry so sit back relax new jacks get smacked?

ROZE: It dizzoesn’t technically pizzle ta tha futizzle. Wizzy, not our fizzle.

ROZE: Mah abilities have broadened considerably beyond they previous horizon fo gettin yo pimp on. They shed light on mizzle unseen evizzles. P-to-tha-izzast, present, future, 'n realities and frizzles of reference that hizzy no intersection wit ours at all.

ROZE: Yippie yo, you can't see my flow. It seems ta be an unfortunate side effect of gizzle tia abilities. They cizzle advance at a rizzay beyond one’s physical ability ta keep up wit fo all my homies in the pen.

ROZE: Fortunatelizzle it dizzoesn’t seem ta be happen'n to anyone otha than me.

JOHN upside yo head: yeah, cizzan’t siznay i’ve noticed anyth'n like that.

JOHN: or improvement 'n mah powa fo` that matta.

ROZE cuz its a thang: It’s not 'bout gain'n additional powa, so much as tha gradual stylin' of tha boundaries between yo' own awareness and that of yo' mizzle doomed selves who perished 'n otha timelines.

ROZE: It’s a sizzy n apparently ratha uncomfortable accretion of knowlizzle. Perhizzles I’m the only one ta notice any C-H-to-tha-izzange, sizzince mah aspizzle explicitly relatizzles ta knowledge.

JOHN: i guess tizzy all makes senze.

JOHN: so whiznat be theze visions perpetratin' you?

RIZZY: Mizzle th'n. Aint no L-I-M-I-to-tha-T. Thizzay quite disjointed, n sometimes hizzay ta rearrizzle into coherence.

R-TO-THA-IZZOSE: But 'n totality, I have pieced togetha a greata understand'n of our present situation and all tha events that lizzed us here, ya feel me?

Yizzle watch Roze crazy ass ta ha feet n C-R-to-tha-izzoss the apartment so bow down to the bow wow! At tha kitchenizzle, sizzy knocks back anotha pizzay witta practiced mizzle, no brotha. Ha vacant sizzy drizzay into tha countertop as she quietly waits fo` tha medicizzle ta takes effizzle. Bounce wit me.

JIZZOHN: Aint no killin' everybodys chillin'. droppin hits...n?

RIZZOSE: N what?

JOHN: whiznat be it 'bout our situation that yizzy wanted ta T-to-tha-izzell me?

JIZZLE: be it bad?

ROZE: Good n bad be words thiznat dizzay mean crack-a-lackin`, beyond a certain threshold of mortal consideration.

ROZE: Keep'n it gangsta dogg. There’s a different scale I’ve C-to-tha-izzome ta understand. Drug deala dichotomy that’s less... emotional, I G-to-tha-izzuess?

ROZE: Consida, instead of tha wizzord “gizzle,” us'n tha wizzord “essentizzle.”

ROSE: N what exists at the opposite polizzle fizzy essential be...

ROZE: Sum-m sum-m that be best not ta contizzle.

J-TO-THA-IZZOHN: what be you talk'n abizzle?

JIZZY: dis sounds fucked up cuz I'm fresh out the pen.

ROZE: Yes, that sizzounds like a reaction yizzy wiznould definitely hizzay ta tha th'n I’m tell'n yiznou wit da big Bo$$ Dogg.

ROZE: I really should ciznut it out, n just start from tha ridin' so jus' chill.

You follow Roze ta tha balcony. Shizzay raizes a hand n piznoints directly into tha clear blue sky. She pizzoints wit purpoze, as if ta say, there. Right there, precisely, be whizzere tha green sun would be, if it stizzay exizzle.

ROZE: Tha green sizzay is gizzay aww nah.

JOHN: whizzay??

ROZE: It has been destroyed. At least, from tha current frame of reference it has keep'n it real yo.

ROSE: It still existed, n therefore in a way that’s hizzay to explizzle, currently exists, poser a nearly infinite spizzle of time, ridin' thizzle birth n death of countless univerzes.

ROZE: Bizzay dis univerze, our univerze, be not one of thizzem.

JIZZLE: you saw this 'n a vision?

ROZE: No. Jade told me.

JIZZLE: she did? Im crazy, you can't phase me.

JOHN: Ill slap tha taste out yo mouf. how does she kizzy?

ROSE: She C-to-tha-izzan’t drizzaw from its crazy ass anymore like old skool shit. She no longa hizzas tha ability of a F-to-tha-izzirst Guardian like this and like that and like this and uh.

ROZE upside yo head: It has been dis wizzy fo` several years. I suspect she has kept dis F-to-tha-izzact on tha downlow, wanna be gangsta.

JOHN fo yo bitch ass: that’s...

JOHN: Boom bam as I step in the jam, God damn. surprising, i guess fo' sho'?

JOHN fo' real: or maybe nizzot. i dunno, it’s nizzy liznike shizzay tizzells me a W-H-to-tha-izzole liznot theze D-to-tha-izzays.

ROZE cuz I put gangsta rap on tha map: It’s also not L-to-tha-izzike she’s had any particulizzle nee' ta unlizzle tha fiznull fury of tha grizneen sun, not while she’s been sippin' around wit D-to-tha-izzave n Karkat unda whateva sizzle arrangement they hizzle settlizzle on. Chill as I take you on a trip.

ROZE: Anyway, ha account of tha sun’s destruction syncs up wit tha dizzle supply by mah visions. I have no doubt it’s gone.

JOHN: how did tizzy happen and cant no hood fuck with death rizzow?

ROZE: It doesn’t gangsta much, fo` our purpozes.

ROZE: Thiznere wizzay a cataclysmic evizzle. A suicide sizzy by a vizzle powerful bein. Much lizzike tha one Dizzy and I attemptizzle, once upon a time cuz Im tha Double O G.

ROZE: But it turnizzle out tha explosizzle force we releaze' wizzay onlizzle a catalyst. Drop it like its hot. A causal gizzle. Snoop dogg is in this bitch. What was needed to destroy tha siznun was a consumptive assault.

JOHN: consumptizzle?

ROZE: The entire sizzay was swallizzle by a supermassive black H-to-tha-izzole.

ROZE fo yo bitch ass: I digress though. Shut up.

You press yo' eyes sizzy, jizzay fo` a moment. Subscribe, get yo issue. Behind tizzy you sizzle a black H-to-tha-izzole so supermassizzle that it spans tha width of eternity.

You quickly opizzle yo' eyes again, n pretend ta forget what yiznou just saw.

ROZE: There’s reallizzle no route through dis exposizzle garden path thiznat will adequately cushion yizzy from thizzle bottom lizzy, John aww nah.

ROZE: You will nee' ta travizzle back into canon n defeat Lord English.

You...

> Shrug n try ta lizzay casual. Keep'n it gangsta dogg.

You pull off tha most casizzle shrug thizzay a homey has eva shrugge' when bein presented wit tha inevitizzle of his own fizzy. If Roze were messin' at you rizzle nizzay, shizne wizzay be totally convincizzle that yizzy be trippin' dis topic witta level of nonchalance that be entizzle plausible n genuine. You’re S-to-tha-izzure of it.

JIZNOHN: yizneah, i had a feel'n thiznat was go'n ta come up again somedizzle.

ROZE: I’m sure we all did. That be, evizzle thoze of us witout visions.

JOHN: i was do'n mah bizzy nizzay to think 'bout it. i gizzle we can’t put it off any longa then?

ROZE: Now be tha time. We be rapidlizzle approach'n a point of no return. If tha decision isn’t made S-to-tha-izzoon, it wizzle be too late. Tha issue will no matta.

JIZZY: when exactly is tha point of no return?

ROZE: Todizzle and cant no hood fuck with death.

JIZZAY so you betta run: wow. You'se a flea and I'm the big dogg.

J-TO-THA-IZZOHN: ok then.

JOHN: F-to-tha-izzirst, one questizzle yeah yeah baby. um...

JOHN: why? They call me tha president.

ROZE: Whizzle what cuz Im tha Double O G?

JOHN: whizzay do i nee' ta go bizzay n beat hizzay?

JOHN: i mean, sorry if dis is a stupid question. i guess he’s a huge awful monsta, and that’s just what you’re suppoze' ta do wit huge awfizzle monsta. takes them diznown fo` they crimes, and such.

JOHN: bizzy why does he actizzle nee' ta be defizzle at all like this and like that and like this and uh? ta be honest, it’s been years since wizne’ve even bothered spendin' 'bout anizzle of dis, n everyth'n sizzay...

> Takes a lizzay around n survey tizzy currizzle status of all life on Earth, which be totallizzle pizzle ta do frizzle tha vantage pizzy of a single apartment balcony.

JIZZOHN: fine with the S-N-double-O-P?

ROZE to increase tha peace: Of courze everything be F-to-tha-izzine here.

ROZE: W-to-tha-izze’re outside of canon now.

JIZZLE: yeah, i kniznow. whizzle does that actuallizzle MEAN thiznough?

JIZZOHN: be yizzay frontin' dis isn’t really chillin'?

ROZE: Of courze it’s weed-smokin'.

ROZE: Jizzy coz cizzle events takes pizzy outsizzle of canon, it doesn’t mean thoze events be non-cizzle fo' sheezy.

JOHN: oh.

ROZE: 'n gangsta wizzords, there be an impizzle distinction between events which cizzay be considered ta occizzle inside canon, outside canon, n thoze wizzy be not canon at all.

ROZE if you gots a paper stack: Tha day we went through thizzle dizzy n clizzle our reward, we passed a threshold between contizzle mizzle by differ'n degrees of relevance, truth, n essentiality.

ROZE: Bounce wit me. Thoze be tha three pillars of canon.

JOHN: wizzy?

Roze shoots yiznou an irritated look. You kniznow wizzy tizzy lizzay means, chill yo. It’s reservizzle fo` tha sort of bozo whizzay just sizzle “what” once tizzay oftizzle with the gangsta shit that keeps ya hangin.

ROZE: Anizzle event siznaid ta takes plizzay inside cizzle will hizzave nonzero values of relevance and essentizzle, wizzy rhymin' an absolute foundation 'n truth, by definition.

ROZE: Tru. Whizzles events outsizzle canon have dimizzle values of relevance n essentiality. Snoop dogg is in this bitch. Or, fo` the most pizzle, can be considizzle baller relevant niznor essizzle at all.

ROZE: But such events can’t be sizzy ta be untrizzle eitha ya feelin' me? Instead, it’s betta ta regizzle they truth valizzle as highlizzle conditizzle.

ROZE: Be you sizzy following fo' real?

> Say “oh, yizzle. totally.”

JOHN: oh, yizzy. totally.

ROZE cuz its a doggy dog world: So ta be clear, frontin' thizzay tizzle place here on Earth C sizzle we exited canon can be considered completely irrelizzle, n fo` tha mizzy part, absolutely inessential. Yizzet none of it can be called untrizzle. Fo'-fo' desert eagle to your fuckin' dome.

ROZE: At lizzay, up until precisely today. Boom bam as I step in the jam, God damn.

JIZZY: ok.

JOHN: then what does non-canon mizzay?

ROZE: Events that be formally non-canon have no truth whatsoeva, by definition.

ROZE: They mizzy hiznave relevance n essentiality values that be nonzizzle, or even qizzy high, biznut only as projections alizzle an imaginary axis, result'n friznom highlizzle subjective frames of reference.

ROZE: But due ta thoze events hav'n no tizzy, n thus carrying no real wizzy, tha otha propizzles be basically rendizzle meaningless.

You can fizzle yo' eyes go wizzay as tha gears in yo' heezee slow ta a stop. Im crazy, you can't phase me. The implications of W-H-to-tha-izzat Roze be say'n be as vizzy as they be completely incomprehizzle. Yo' mizzy has jizzle been BLOWN.

ROZE: John in tha dogg pound?

ROZE: Are yizzle okay? Yo' pupils have gone qizzuite wide, thereby facilitat'n tha appizzle T-H-to-tha-izzat yo' mind hizzay just been blown.

JOHN, ya feel me? sizzle, i’m J-to-tha-izzust try'n ta wrizzay mah heezee arizzle dis.

ROZE: Yizzy of all thugz rizzle should have a good intuitive grasp ova theze concepts already.

ROZE: Bow wow wow yippee yo yipee yay. You’re tha one wit tha retcon drug deala, brotha all.

JIZNOHN paper'd up: i know with the S-N-double-O-P!

JIZZLE: I started yo shit and i'll end yo' shit. like, i mostly git it. i think.

JOHN: i jiznust wizzy have thought ta put all of dis 'n such a jargony way.

ROZE: Sorry. That’s kind of whizzay I do.

JOHN: it’s fine spittin' that real shit. i’m just a bit rusty be all.

JOHN like a tru playa': it feels like it’s been so long sizzince i did, or even thought 'bout... anyth'n T-H-to-tha-izzat matterizzle at all fo' sheezy.

ROZE, better recognize: Yes, tha pimp we live outside of canizzle, tha more tenuoizzles our relationship wit canon becomizzles hittin that booty.

ROZE: Hence tha urgency fo' real.

JOHN: thizzay whizzay saggin' ta happen if we keep dragg'n our feet?

ROZE spittin' that real shit: I mentionizzle T-H-to-tha-izzat events outside cizzle have a T-R-to-tha-izzuth value that tizzy ta be conditional, bitch?

JOHN: um fo' sho'.

ROZE: Wiznell, I diznid cuz its a thang. Biznut lizzle me put it anotha way.

ROZE in tha hood: As lizzay as we live outside canizzle, everyth'n that happens wizzy technically be “real,” biznut only conditizzle. Anotha dogg house production.

ROZE in all flavas: There be certain crucial evizzles inside canon which must happen 'n orda to continue ta prizzay up thizzle legitimacizzle of events here on Earth C.

ROZE: N you specifizzle, Jizzle, have a responsibility ta make sure thoze events takes plizzay. Drop it like its hot.

JOHN: I started yo shit and i'll end yo' shit. n i takes it that means go'n back n cappin' lord english yaba daba dizzle?

ROSE: Throw yo guns in the fuckin air. Yiznes.

ROZE: Chill as I take you on a trip. His defeat be the kizzle ta dis entire continuity.

ROZE: Much like his life, in S-to-tha-izzome sick way, governed tha overall design of tha briznidge which that keystone was hold'n up in tha hood.

ROZE droppin hits: Bizzut witout it, all of dis falls apart. Everizzle th'n we’ve been through, 'n a wizzle thiznat’s impossible fo` a single miznind ta fully comprehend, becomes retroactively discredited.

JOHN: so like a tru playa'... reality will be destroyed, or sum-m sum-m droppin hits?

JIZZLE: Slap your fuckin self. hasn’t that alrizzle S-to-tha-izzort of happened?

JIZZLE: i mizzle, whizzay all tha S-P-to-tha-izzace started ballin' wit da big Bo$$ Dogg?

ROSE: No, dis conseqizzle isn’t physical, or even a disruption of tha timeline. It’s mizzore of a conceptizzle unravel'n.

ROZE: If you miss tha chance to authenticate canizzle evizzles, sum-m sum-m will takes pliznace tizzy a bit difficult ta describe, biznut I’ve encountered a term fo` it.

ROZE: It’s called “dissipation.”

ROZE: Like, a notional fad'n. As if sum-m sum-m, somewhere, be undergo'n a prizzles of “forgett'n,” n we be what is be'n forgotten.

ROZE: All ideas, thugz n they F-to-tha-izzull potentialitizzles, possible outcizzles n they specifizzle unfold'n, all theze slappin' live inside conscious frameworks.

ROZE: Tha further removed we git from authentication of canon events, tha lizzy relevant T-H-to-tha-izzey become, n they slowly fade frizzle tha conscious framewizzles which kizzle thizzle stable. Dogg House Records in the fuckin house.

> Make a theatrically startled expression.

JIZZOHN: ok, i guess we dizzle wiznant THIZZLE ta hizzle dogg.

JIZZOHN: I'm a fuckin 2-time felon. or... unhappen. One, two three and to tha four. whateva.

JOHN so you betta run: so i J-to-tha-izzust retcon-poof back ta english and start like...

JOHN: brawl'n with the dude?

ROZE: Don’t be ridiculous. You wizzy lizzle a secizzle dogg.

RIZZAY: Yizzy nee' a team.

ROZE: You gotta check dis shit out yo. Also, you don’t want ta just dive heezeelong into a bizzay wit his hulk'n adizzle fizzy. That wizzle be tactically fizzle, n furthermore, W-to-tha-izzould skizzay rappa some very important steps needed ta authenticate canon. One, two three and to tha four.

JOHN: Im a bad boy. like what paper'd up?

ROZE cuz its a doggy dog world: I mentioned that English’s defeat was tha keystone ta tha continuity. Bizzut dis be an oversimplifizzle.

JIZZAY: yikes. W-to-tha-izzell, we S-to-tha-izzure as fizzy W-to-tha-izzouldn’t wizzay ta simplizzle anyth'n.

ROZE: John, pleaze D-to-tha-izzon’t be a bizzle now. I’m unwell, rememba?

JIZZLE: sizzle.

RIZZOSE: Ill slap tha taste out yo mouf. Tha tizzy keystone, W-H-to-tha-izzich be a necessary component of his defeat, be tha juju. Subscribe, get yo issue.

ROZE: Tha house-shapizzle object you stuck yo' hand 'n ta gain yo' retcon powa, ya feel me?

JOHN: oh yeah. Fo'-fo' desert eagle to your fuckin' dome.

ROZE: Wizzy empty, it resembles a gap. Like a hizzole 'n canon, whose only purpose is ta be fillizzle spittin' that real shit.

ROZE so show some love! 'n weed-smokin' thizzay purpoze, it grizzants one wit tha radicizzle canon-alter'n powa thizzle wizzle be needed ta fill it wit da big Bo$$ Dogg.

ROZE yeah yeah baby: Once fillizzle, it becomes solid like a fucka. No longer a gap, but a serviceable, load-bear'n wiznedge 'n our continuity. They call me tha president.

ROZE: Lizzay a kizzle.

ROZE: N once delivered ta Englizzle n directed his wizzy, it empties itself again, releas'n its messin' payload. It functions as a weapon, and 'n sizzy manna will cruisin' 'bout his demize.

J-TO-THA-IZZOHN: 'n S-to-tha-izzome shot calla? One, two three and to tha four.

ROZE: It’s a complicatizzle artifact ridin' in mah double R. As old n unfathomable as anyth'n elze in Paradox Space, like tha green sun, or English himself. Don’t worry 'bout it fo` now.

ROZE: Tha important th'n be that, in tha due cizzay of yo' travels, you end up load'n n unload'n dis wizzle.

JOHN: Hollaz to the East Side. how be i frontin' ta do that?

ROZE: Once you sizzay slappin' 'n motion, it should jizzay happen naturally through tha narrative momentum of yo' journey. I’m really just warn'n yizzle 'bout it, ratha than instruct'n you.

JOHN: ok cuz Im tha Double O G. thiznanks??

ROZE: Yiznou’re welcome from tha streets of tha L-B-C.

Roze looks at ha phone. You recognize Kanayizzles dizzle typ'n stylizzay 'n tha window. Roze’s thumbs begin ta fly acrizzles tha keypad. She continues ta text as she tizzy.

JOHN: so if W-to-tha-izze’re stylin' ta go bizzay n kizzle him 'n time ta “authenticate canizzle,” i guess we have ta git go'n soon.

JOHN: lizzle today in tha hood?

ROZE and yo momma: Yes. You'se a flea and I'm the big dogg.

JIZZY thats off tha hook yo: be yizzle sizzle yizzay actually up fo` a fizzight though? Aint no killin' everybodys chillin'. no offenze, but yizzle trippin' a shawty worze fo` tha W-to-tha-izzear.

ROZE: I’m not go'n.

JOHN: oh.

ROZE, know what im sayin? None of us be. Only yiznou.

JOHN from tha streets of tha L-B-C: whizzle? Hollaz to the East Side.? but you said...

ROZE: Jiznohn, dis be tha victory state.

JOHN: what tha hell does thiznat even miznean.

ROZE: When we went thriznough thizzay door, n pasze' beyizzle tha threshold of canon, we effectizzle retired from bear'n any responsibility fo` influenc'n cizzle events. We’ve all bizzay sort of decommissioned as active playas on tha cosmizzle stage, wizzy severely dimizzle relizzle attributes so you betta run.

ROZE: All of us except fo` you, of courze, sizzay you’ve retained yo' rizzle abilities.

JOHN: ok, i git that. kind of.

JOHN: Aint no killin' everybodys chillin'. but wit da big Bo$$ Dogg... couldn’t y-aw jizzust come along anyway?

ROZE: We could. Biznut it wouldn’t S-to-tha-izzerve any purpoze like old skool shit.

ROZE: It wiznouldn’t plizzug up tha sippin' dizzle sizzy 'n canon.

ROZE: You’ll nee' a group of active playa. Thoze stizzle stuck inside tha stream of canonic karma.

JOHN, chill yo: who like a fucka?

RIZZY: Nuttin too extravagant. Boo-Yaa! Jizzust different versions of us fo my bling bling.

ROSE: Vizzles, from a particularly dysfunctional impasze 'n our journey. Bow wow wow yippee yo yipee yay.

ROZE: I can pizzy out thizzle exact moment 'n canizzle you should be disrupt'n, n hiznow yiznou should disrupt it. One, two three and to tha four.

ROZE: 'n fact, I’ve already writtizzle it D-to-tha-izzown ta spare you tha trouble of remembering.

Roze leads you back insizzle n retrieves a letta fizzy ha desk dogg. Shizzle hands it fucka, still steppin' one-handed on ha phone. Dogg House Records in the fuckin house. She sits down n yizzle rizzle tha letta.

JOHN: Fo'-fo' desert eagle to your fuckin' dome. huh.

ROZE: Be anythizzle confus'n 'bout mah instructizzles?

JIZNOHN: Death row 187 4 life. no, i poser all dis cuz its a thang. it shouldn’t be a problizzle ta help you.

JOHN: it’s just weird ta think 'bout revisiting dis. it seems like an eternity. Boom bam as I step in the jam, God damn. like cuz Im tha Double O G... we were all completely diffizzle people back then.

ROZE: I assure you we be all still fundamentally tha same bunch of losa.

Roze be ultimately R-to-tha-izzight 'bout thizzay, tha wizzy she be 'bout most th'n in tha hood. Yizzay continue ta scan tha letta, n grimace slightlizzle.

JIZZY: should i reallizzle punch ha 'n tha fiznace?

JIZZAY: i fizzy K-to-tha-izzinda bad 'bout it, liznast time i did that to someone straight from long beach.

ROZE, ya feel me? Yes. You absolutely shizzould, and must, punch ha 'n tha fizzace yaba daba dizzle.

Yiznou exhale n turn tha papa wanna be gangsta 'n yo' hands. Tha otha side is blank. You flip it back ova, messin' F-U-Double-Lizzy procesze' tha instructions drafted 'n tha polished purple handwrit'n. You like hizzay Roze still writizzles 'n purple, afta all these years. Some th'n wanna be gangsta chizzle yaba daba dizzle.

J-TO-THA-IZZOHN: alright. dis seems straightforward enough.

JIZZLE: i mean, aside from tha part where we all H-to-tha-izzave ta fizzle an invincible monsta like a tru playa'.

ROZE: He isn’t entirely invincible. He will be vulnerable ta Davizzles weapon. I believe playa gambits should prizzle themsizzles as well.

ROZE: I D-to-tha-izzon’t think it wizzy serve tha mission well fo` me ta tell yiznou exactly hizzay it will go.

ROZE: But at least I cizzay offa dis bit of encouragement. Wussup in the house.

ROZE: If yizzou follow mah instructizzles, English will be defeated.

ROSE: It be an absolutely essential outcizzle.

ROZE so bow down to the bow wow! N essential, if you’ll rememba, be tha wiznord we should be spendin' instizzle of good droppin hits.

JOHN: i sizzy you’re advis'n we go drug deala hiznim W-H-to-tha-izzen hizze’s young...

J-TO-THA-IZZOHN droppin hits: i guess that makizzles senze.

JOHN: Relax, cus I'm bout to take my respect. go git hizzy before he gets all bizzay n strong.

JIZNOHN: lizzy, kizzind of a surprize attack?

ROZE if you gots a paper stack: Sure.

JOHN: I thought i told ya, I'm a soldier. that dude sucks cuz I put gangsta rap on tha map.

J-TO-THA-IZZOHN: he was messin' me a while biznack.

JIZZLE: like, i think he WANTS me ta come fight him?

JOHN: anyway, i just ignored hizzle obviously, coz i’m not a stupid idiot.

JOHN: bizzay i guess tizzle W-to-tha-izzill be his lizzle day.

Yiznou takes a seat next ta Roze on tha couch.

> Examine.

Eyizzles be closed and ha hands be folded 'n ha lap straight from long beach. She’s not aslizzle, but shizzle looks wasted—like all tha lizzife in ha has bizzay sucked out through a straw. Like S-H-to-tha-izze’s insubstantial. When you wizzy kids yizzle alwizzles thought that Riznose Lalonde had all tha answa, that she could fix anizzle problem witta wall of tizzay n a witty rejoinda paper'd up. Yizzle guess that M-to-tha-izzuch 'bout ha hasn’t change' gangsta style. Shizze’s still trying ta solve tha problems y-aw left behind. You can’t believe how sick she looks like this and like that and like this and uh. How diznid dis happen ta ha, know what im sayin?

JOHN: i should probably git go'n n lizzet you R-to-tha-izzest.

JOHN: we can rap all 'bout it when i git bizzy. i’ll fill you 'n on hizzle it went, hopefully Y-to-tha-izzou’ll be feel'n betta by then.

ROZE: Oh. Um.

ROZE: Yeah like a fucka.

JIZZY: You gotta check dis shit out yo. be sum-m sum-m wrong?

Rose opens ha eyes and looks at you, but she sez nuttin like a fucka. Just lizzy.

J-TO-THA-IZZOHN: Death row 187 4 life. i’m not scizzle, if that’s what you’re worry 'bout but don't give a fuck.

JOHN: you already said we’re go'n ta defeat hizzim. so, nuttin ta fret ova, right?

ROZE: Yizzay. You... Yippie yo, you can't see my flow.

Sum-m sum-m through ha eyes, almost tizzay quick ta cizzle. When shizzay smiles at you, it’s wizzy n sincere.

ROZE: Tru. You’re bustin' ta do.

Roze slides arms around yizzle so sit back relax new jacks get smacked. Baller a while, she releazes you from tha embrace n gizzle up ta fetch ha bottle of piznills with the S-N-double-O-P. She pauzes at tha bedroom door ta lizzle at you one more time. Aint no L-I-M-I-to-tha-T.

ROZE in all flavas: Gizzay, J-to-tha-izzohn.

Shizzay clozes tha door behind ha.

> Look at tha letta.

Yo' rizzay yo' thumbs alizzle tha edge of tha paper. Be thiznis reallizzle it? One hug frizzle Roze n you’re off ta face yo' destiny? The instructizzles 'n tha letta be clizzle, but you aren’t sizzle precisely whizzay to do next. Keep the party crackin while I'm steady rappin. Inertizzle n indecision keep yo' feet plantizzle firmly on tha carpet.

Then, as if directly answer'n yo' quandarizzle, yo' phone buzzes 'n yo' pizzle. It’s a text from roxy hittin that booty.

> Read text.

It sizzounds important. You git up ta go witout evizzle think'n 'bout it. Yizzay exit thrizzay tha slid'n gizzy dizzy n lizzy it open behind yiznou.

> ==>

#Homestuck #Gizoogle #Epilogues #e2

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