#Best Psychiatrist in Arizona

[azitts]

Are you looking for Best Psychiatrist in Arizona ?

A psychiatrist is a health care provider who specializes in the diagnosis, treatment, and prevention of mental, emotional, and behavioral problems. Azitts has the best psychiatrists in the Arizona, United States. These professionals have medical degrees and specialized training in psychiatry, which enables them to understand how the mind and body interact.

[jaygwinfrey]

Experienced Team for Intensive Outpatient Programs

AZITTS is a prominent team of medical professionals that provides mental health services across the globe. Our patients are the main source of our motivation, and we aim to provide them with the best care from treatment to recovery. The skilled doctors at AZITTS have rich experience in diagnosing and treating each kind of mental disorder, including anxiety Disorders, Depression, Post-Traumatic Stress, Bipolar Disorder, Schizophrenia, and more severe Disorders.

We provide the best mental health services, such as screening and diagnostics treatment, telepsychiatry services, and telemedicine services. AZITTS believes in putting patients on the most direct path of recovery, and we have an experienced team for intensive outpatient programs, medication management, emergency detox, psychotherapy and counseling. Your mental health matters as the mind is as important as your other body parts. Tell us if you are suffering from any mental health problems, and we are here for you.

As an alternative to inpatient care or as a step-down transition after a stay in a behavioural hospital, intensive outpatient programming is the ideal option. Contact AZITTS to know more. The program's objectives include patient stabilisation, functional improvement, and re-engagement with their regular physician for ongoing psychological therapy. Contact AZITTS to know more.

[greatgardenpenguin]

Child Health Day: Raising ADHD Awareness

Every kid has the right to be as healthy as possible. From the food they consume to the words they hear, children do need encouragement and chances from their families. A chronic ailment, an accident, or a child’s illness are some common concerns for parents. They simultaneously prioritize a child’s physical and mental well-being.

[wellnesscaresigma]

Comparing Psychiatry Services: What To Expect From The Best Psychiatrists In Arizona

A good psychiatrist makes all the difference in the world in this life. In the state of Arizona, with its growing need for mental health services, choosing the right psychiatrist means choosing someone to treat you as an individual and effectively. But what does one expect from the most superior psychiatry services? In this article, we provide certain key qualities and services that bring out the best psychiatrists in Arizona, highlighting Sigma Wellness Center as a key player in this field.The entry into any psychiatry treatment is a thorough assessment and diagnosis. Across the board, the best psychiatrists  are known for their ability to listen keenly and understand the nuances that concern their patients' mental health. This goes beyond the mere act of talking; rather, it incorporates a detailed assessment of the medical history, psychological assessments, and sometimes laboratory tests.

[kwebtv]

Character Actor

Gerald Mohr (June 11, 1914 – November 9, 1968)  Radio, film, and television character actor and frequent leading man, who appeared in more than 500 radio plays, 73 films, and over 100 television shows.

From the 1950s on, he appeared as a guest star in more than 100 television series, including the Westerns The Californians, Maverick, Johnny Ringo, The Alaskans, Lawman, Cheyenne (as Pat Keogh in episode "Rendezvous at Red Rock"/as Elmer Bostrum in episode "Incident at Dawson Flats"), Bronco, Overland Trail (as James Addison Reavis, "the Baron of Arizona", in the episode "The Baron Comes Back"), Sugarfoot, Bonanza (as Phil Reed in the episode "The Abduction", as Collins in the episode "Found Child", as Cato Troxell in the episode "A Girl Named George"), The Rifleman, Wanted: Dead or Alive (episode "Till Death do us Part"), Death Valley Days (as Andrés Pico in "The Firebrand"), and Rawhide. In 1949, he was co-announcer, along with Fred Foy, and narrator of 16 of the shows of the first season of The Lone Ranger, speaking the well-known introduction as well as story details. The narration was dropped after sixteen episodes.

Mohr guest-starred seven times in the 1957–62 television series Maverick, twice playing Western gambler Doc Holliday in "The Quick and the Dead" and briefly in the conclusion of "Seed of Deception", a role he reprised again in "Doc Holliday in Durango", a 1958 episode of Tombstone Territory. In one of the other Maverick episodes, he portrayed Steve Corbett, a character based on Bogart's in Casablanca. That episode, "Escape to Tampico," used the set from the original film, this time as a Mexican saloon where Bret Maverick (James Garner) arrives to hunt down Mohr's character for an earlier murder.

Mohr also guest-starred on Crossroads, The DuPont Show with June Allyson, Harrigan and Son, The Barbara Stanwyck Show, It's Always Jan, Perry Mason, 77 Sunset Strip, Hawaiian Eye, Lost in Space, Ripcord and many other television series of the era, especially those being produced by Warner Bros. Studios and Dick Powell's Four Star Productions. He sang in the 1956 Cheyenne episode "Rendezvous at Red Rock". He also essayed Captain Vadim, an Iron Curtain submarine commander, in the Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea episode "The Lost Bomb". In the series' fourth and final season (1968-69), Mohr guest-starred in the episode "Flight From San Miguel" on The Big Valley. This episode was broadcast posthumously in April 1969.

Mohr made guest appearances on such network television comedy shows as The George Burns and Gracie Allen Show (1951), How to Marry a Millionaire (1958), The Jack Benny Program (1961 & 1962), The Smothers Brothers Show (1965) and The Lucy Show (1968). He had the recurring role of newsman Brad Jackson in My Friend Irma  (1952). He played "Ricky's friend", psychiatrist "Dr. Henry Molin" (real life name of the assistant film editor on the show), in the February 2, 1953 episode of I Love Lucy, "The Inferiority Complex". His repeated line was, "Treatment, Ricky. Treatment".

In 1954–1955, he starred as Christopher Storm in 41 episodes of the third season of Foreign Intrigue, produced in Stockholm for American distribution. During several episodes of Foreign Intrigue, but most noticeably in "The Confidence Game" and "The Playful Prince", he can be heard playing on the piano his own musical composition, "The Frontier Theme", so called because Christopher Storm was the owner of the Hotel Frontier in Vienna. Foreign Intrigue was nominated for an Emmy Award in 1954 under the category "Best Mystery, Action or Adventure Program" and again in 1955 under the category "Best Mystery or Intrigue Series".

Mohr made four guest appearances on Perry Mason (1961–66). In his first appearance, he played Joe Medici in "The Case of the Unwelcome Bride". In 1963, he played murder victim Austin Lloyd in "The Case of the Elusive Element". In 1964, he played the murderer, Alan Durfee, in "The Case of a Place Called Midnight". In 1966, he played agent Andy Rubin in the series' final episode, "The Case of the Final Fadeout".

He continued to market his powerful voice, playing Reed Richards (Mister Fantastic) in the Fantastic Four cartoon series during 1967 and Green Lantern in the 1968 animated series Aquaman.  (Wikipedia)

[healinghorizons9135]

Comprehensive mental health care and holistic psychiatry services. Best psychiatrist in Glendale, Phoenix, Arizona. Book appointment today.

[onlinepsychiatristcolorado]

Arizona Online Psychiatrist: Convenient, Compassionate, and Confidential Care

In today’s fast-paced world, managing your mental health can often feel like an additional challenge. Fortunately, advancements in technology have made accessing psychiatric care more convenient and effective than ever before. For residents of Arizona, Blue Lily Psychiatry offers a premier online psychiatric service that combines convenience, compassion, and confidentiality. Here’s how online psychiatry can benefit you and why Blue Lily Psychiatry is the ideal choice for your mental health needs.

The Benefits of Online Psychiatry

Online psychiatrist Arizona is redefining how mental health care is delivered, making it more accessible and tailored to individual needs. The ability to consult with a psychiatrist from the comfort of your own home provides numerous advantages over traditional in-person visits.

Why Arizona Residents are Embracing Online Psychiatry

Convenience: One of the standout benefits of online psychiatry is its unparalleled convenience. You can schedule appointments around your personal and professional commitments without the need to travel or deal with long wait times. This flexibility helps you seamlessly integrate mental health care into your daily life, making it easier to stay consistent with your treatment.

Accessibility: Arizona is known for its diverse geography, including both urban areas and remote locations. Online psychiatry breaks down the barriers associated with accessing mental health services, particularly for those living in more isolated areas. No matter where you are in the state, you can connect with skilled psychiatrists who are ready to provide the care you need.

Confidentiality: Privacy is a critical component of effective mental health care. Online consultations offer a confidential setting where you can discuss your concerns without the potential distractions or discomfort of a traditional office visit. This secure environment helps you feel more at ease and encourages open and honest communication with your psychiatrist.

Compassionate Care: Blue Lily Psychiatry understands the importance of a compassionate approach to mental health care. Online services ensure that you receive the same level of empathetic support as you would in person. Their team of experienced psychiatrists is dedicated to providing personalized care that addresses your unique mental health needs with kindness and understanding.

Why Blue Lily Psychiatry is Your Top Choice in Arizona

Blue Lily Psychiatry stands out as a leading provider of online psychiatric services in Arizona. Their commitment to offering high-quality, patient-centered care is evident in every aspect of their practice. Whether you’re dealing with anxiety, depression, or any other mental health concern, Blue Lily Psychiatry provides comprehensive support tailored to your individual needs.

Their team of psychiatrists brings a wealth of expertise and a deep commitment to compassionate care. By choosing Blue Lily Psychiatry, you’re opting for a service that prioritizes your well-being and ensures that you receive the most effective treatment in a supportive and understanding environment.

How to Begin Your Journey with Blue Lily Psychiatry

Getting started with Blue Lily Psychiatry is straightforward and convenient. To schedule your initial consultation, simply reach out to their office and select a time that fits your schedule. During your first appointment, you’ll have the opportunity to discuss your mental health history, current issues, and treatment goals. Based on this information, a personalized treatment plan will be created to help you achieve your mental health objectives.

In summary, online psychiatry offers a modern and accessible approach to mental health care, and Blue Lily Psychiatry is a top provider in Arizona. By choosing their services, you’re selecting a solution that combines convenience, compassion, and confidentiality, ensuring you receive the best possible care. Prioritize your mental health today by scheduling an appointment with Blue Lily Psychiatry. Call (954) 477-8023 to experience expert care that is tailored to your needs.

[xenonreality]

So I just went through my court case hearing for SSI & the judge threw out all my previous times in the mental health hospital, being homeless, my diagnosises, all my previous medications tried & experienced, all that showed my worsening condition from the last judgement & after filling all basically because my psychiatrist expressed doubt & believed I was faking my problems. In only 2 papers wrote malingering. Possibly, apparently it was written down this way, because I wanted to know more about my diagnosis & know my symptoms. Which meant that I immediately was faking it & looked it up to only fake it.

Oh, right also I had a trip to the ER late at night because of chest pains, nearly passing out & more (just grapefruit problem I didn't really think it would be something that effects me much, turns out no) but they misheard me stating I was working at night instead of trying to fix my sleep schedule (it had swapped & then I couldn't get to sleep, grapefruit kept meds in me longer & not doing that again) but that meant he believed I was working somewhere somehow.

Tried to go after me being hard of hearing, brought up voc rehab sending paperwork that I have them & that I've had them since before elementary. Barely commented, sounded like he didn't believe me but then realized he didn't look.

Disregarded the med experience of mine being paradoxical because of ADHD (why my stims work) but I also have atypical reactions too with treatment resistant. Which is why (finally had a doc believe me, should have gotten numbers & writing) I've had no luck ever with meds.

Clearly paranoid about it & felt I had decided to lie & become homeless, & all these other things just to get SSI. I went through all this, which actually I filled well before but the medical history stretches back before I was 10, faking it as the best pathological con man lier narcissist that just wanted himself to live a shitty terrible life the last almost 10 years.

Honestly, sucks. I'm not okay. Mom & dad know. I need better help. I had my lawyer switch on me almost the week before. Didn't even know it was in my case files. The judge just started denying everything, made sure the previous judgement wasn't accounted for just so it wouldn't be something I could bring up or my lawyer.

Lawyer says if I want to still try, I need to cancel my claim, try & get my doc to clear up the malingering, get a new doc & refile but it's also such a black mark I probably won't even be able to get on it. They also might not represent me later, because they probably couldn't win.

So thats the plan I guess, refile. Figure it out. Still can't work. Still being treated like I'm lying & being gaslit. I hate this/it. #springerville #Arizona #littlecoloradobehavioralhealth not bringing it on myself.

[phoenix-sa]

Browsing The Best Lawn Services In San Antonio

In recent years, the importance of mental health care has gained widespread recognition, and Phoenix, Arizona, has emerged as a leading hub for comprehensive mental health services. With a focus on innovation, accessibility, and community support, Phoenix is setting a high standard for mental health care provision.

Diverse Range of Services

One of the key strengths of mental health care in Phoenix is the diverse range of services available to residents. Whether you're seeking therapy, counseling, psychiatric treatment, or support for addiction, you can find specialized facilities and experts to meet your needs.

Phoenix boasts a strong network of mental health professionals, including psychiatrists, psychologists, social workers, and licensed counselors. These experts collaborate to provide holistic care, ensuring that patients receive personalized treatment plans tailored to their unique challenges and goals.

Innovative Approaches

Innovation is at the forefront of mental health care in Phoenix. The city embraces cutting-edge techniques and technologies to improve patient outcomes and experiences. Teletherapy, for example, has become increasingly popular, allowing individuals to access therapy sessions from the comfort of their homes. This innovation has been particularly valuable during the COVID-19 pandemic, ensuring continuity of care while minimizing health risks.

Additionally, Phoenix has invested in research and development in the field of mental health. Local institutions and organizations collaborate on studies and trials to identify more effective treatments and interventions. This commitment to innovation not only benefits residents but also contributes to the broader advancement of mental health care practices.

Accessible and Affordable Care

Accessibility is a fundamental pillar of leading mental health care in Phoenix. The city has taken significant steps to make mental health services more accessible to everyone, regardless of their financial situation. Sliding scale fees, insurance coverage, and government assistance programs ensure that individuals can access the care they need without incurring overwhelming financial burdens.

Moreover, Phoenix's mental health care facilities are strategically distributed throughout the city, minimizing travel time and making services more convenient for residents. This geographic accessibility reduces barriers to seeking help and encourages individuals to prioritize their mental well-being.

Community Support

Community support is another crucial aspect of mental health care in Phoenix. The city's strong sense of community and collaboration fosters a supportive environment for individuals facing mental health challenges. Numerous nonprofit organizations and advocacy groups work tirelessly to raise awareness, reduce stigma, and provide resources to those in need.

Phoenix also hosts events and initiatives that promote mental health awareness, such as mental health fairs, workshops, and support groups. These activities create a sense of belonging and empowerment, reminding individuals that they are not alone in their journey towards better mental health.

Crisis Intervention and Prevention

Phoenix recognizes the importance of crisis intervention and prevention in mental health care. The city has established crisis hotlines, crisis stabilization centers, and mobile crisis teams to address urgent situations promptly. These resources provide immediate assistance to individuals in distress, offering a lifeline when it's needed most.

Furthermore, Phoenix invests in preventive measures, focusing on early intervention and education to reduce the prevalence of mental health issues. Schools, workplaces, and community centers collaborate to raise awareness about mental health, build resilience, and equip individuals with coping strategies.

Phoenix, Arizona, is setting a shining example for leading mental health care in the United States. With its diverse range of services, commitment to innovation, accessibility, community support, crisis intervention, and prevention initiatives, the city is dedicated to improving the mental well-being of its residents. As the importance of mental health continues to gain recognition nationwide, Phoenix stands as a beacon of hope, demonstrating that comprehensive and compassionate mental health care is achievable and essential for every community.

For More Info:-

phoenix mental health clinic

learn more at phoenix mental health

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[nothingunrealistic]

“Billions” features a total of 11 primary cast members, and it’s a tribute to the deep bench of this financial drama that at least a half-dozen other members have their moments to shine. Based on the six episodes I’ve seen of a 12-chapter final run, it’s evident showrunners Brian Koppelman, David Levien and Andrew Ross Sorkin are poised to close things on a high-stakes note — although there reportedly are plans for a number of spinoffs, including “Millions” and “Trillions.” (I’m in!)

Featuring some of the most impressive production values, needle drops and ensemble acting of any series of the last 10 years, “Billions” has been a signature title in the Showtime arsenal since 2016 — and the complex and intertwining storylines are further boosted in the home stretch with the return of the screen-commanding Damian Lewis as the billionaire hedge fund legend and schemer extraordinaire Bobby Axelrod, who remains in exile overseas but might be poised to get back in the game.

With Paul Giamatti, Maggie Siff, David Costabile, Condola Rashad, Asia Kate Dillon and Corey Stoll leading the talented cast of main players, and some high-profile recurring roles and guest cameos we won’t spoil here, there’s never a scene in “Billions” that doesn’t feature at least one brilliant actor delivering razor-sharp lines. Even when “Billions” is delving into pure prime-time soap melodrama with some plausibility-bending plot twists, it’s never not entertaining as hell.

Season 6 of “Billions” ended with Corey Stoll’s crusading, self-righteous zillionaire Mike Prince sacrificing some $3.5 billion of his personal fortune just to gain the upper hand on Paul Giamatti’s Chuck Rhoades, who is briefly jailed but then sprung by the opportunistic New York State Attorney General Dave Mahar (Sakina Jaffrey), so that Chuck can help her bring down Prince. Season 7 starts in media res, with a huge confrontation between two major players — and then we roll it back to “5 MONTHS EARLIER,” and let the gamesmanship begin. We pick up the action as Prince is not only running the former Axe Capital, which now bears his name, but gearing up for a run at the presidency in 2024. (Cast newcomer Babak Tafti lends an electric presence as one Bradford Luke, a high-priced political consultant who tells Prince it’s a whole new ballgame now, and his every move will be scrutinized by the press, the public — and the newly free Chuck Rhoades.)

The difference between Michael Prince and virtually every other character in “Billions” is that while Bobby, Chuck, et al., readily admit they’ll bend laws and basic rules of fair play to get what they want, Prince believes he’s not only changing the world for the better, but he knows what’s best for the masses.

After Prince makes a “hammer or the anvil” reference that echoes a 1929 speech by Hitler, Wendy (Maggie Siff) meets up with Wags (David Costabile), tells him Prince has a textbook God complex and adds: “I’ve decided he’s dangerous.” This puts Wendy at an ethical crossroads, given she’s the psychiatrist and motivational coach for Prince’s company, as well as an inner circle confidant. Meanwhile, Chuck is experiencing a case of the “yips” in that he’s hesitating to make any bold moves, while Wags finds himself wondering if he’s still an alpha lion after he attends a 35th anniversary celebration for Michael Lewis’ “Liar’s Poker” book and is treated like a retiree on his way out. (Lewis plays himself, in keeping with the “Billions” tradition of “as himself” and “as herself” cameos. We won’t give away some of the other celebrity pop-ins.)

As usual, the pop culture drops are fast and furious and sometimes bordering on overkill. In the first episode alone, we get references to Nirvana, “Turner & Hooch,” Michael Bay, Stanley Kubrick, “Raising Arizona,” B.B. King, the 1970s New York Knicks backcourt duo of Walt Frazier and Earl “The Pearl” Monroe, “Star Wars” and hey, there’s Styx’s “Renegade” blasting in the home office of a character who is, well, a renegade. (In a later episode, a new character notes that so many of Prince’s star employees make references to films and actors, she’s been catching up on her movie watching.) It’s not really the way people talk, but it’s the way “Billions” people talk, and we’ve come to embrace it, even when we wonder how these people found the time to attend all the best schools and make millions of dollars when they all seemed to have watched practically every TV show and movie of the last many decades. It is, as they say, what it is.

It appears that much of the final season of “Billions” will focus on characters who will either rise to permanent exalted status or come crashing to the ground with a brutal thud. It’s a tribute to the writing and the performances that in most cases and with most of the main players, they’re equally deserving of triumph and tragedy.

[azitts]

Are you searching for the "Psychiatrist Near Me" in Mesa, Arizona? Don't worry, Azitts is here and provides the best psychiatric evaluation service near you. Our highly skilled psychiatrist's team is committed to providing personalized, compassionate support for your well-being. At Azitts, we prioritize excellence in psychiatric services, ensuring you receive the highest quality care in Mesa, Arizona. Choose us for unparalleled psychiatric care.

[jaygwinfrey]

Best Telepsychiatry Evaluation in Mesa Arizona

Azitts offer telepsychiatry Evaluation in Mesa Arizona, which can involve direct interaction between a psychiatrist and the patient. For those who can not visit doctors due to their busy schedules. Health care can be delivered through live, interactive communication, including video or audio-only care.

[greatgardenpenguin]

Did you know more than a million people are suffering from depression, especially teenager. We need to take an emergency step to safe the future of our country. Azitts, The best mental health care services provider take the initiative to help all teenager to come out from this phase.

[wellnesscaresigma]

Top 5 Behavioral Health Providers In Arizona: Comparative Analysis

Behavioral health services have also been in immense demand across the state of Arizona. People were looking to get quality care to help them through myriad challenges that beset their mental health. Be it anxiety, depression, or any other mental problem, finding the right provider is very important. In this article, we will discuss the top five behavioural health providers  to give you a better comparison when making your decision.

1. Sigma Wellness Center

Overview: Sigma Wellness Center is the epitome of the behavioural health fraternity. It gives all kinds of services - mental, emotional, spiritual, and physical health—to bring about total wellness to any individual. It is focused on personalized care so that patients can regain the mental and emotional balance in life.

Specialities:We combine traditional and cutting-edge therapies, including cognitive-behavioural treatment, training in mindfulness, neurofeedback, and more. Their orientation is highly individualized, with every attempt at meeting the patient's unique needs.

Why Sigma Wellness Center: It is an institute that is much more than a mental health clinic; holistic healing stands at the very front. Their commitment to providing respect, care, and nourishment for their clients raises them to be the premier institute for integrated behavioural health services . Whether you have been dealing with stress, anxiety, or other mental health problems, We will give you the proper tools and support to help you thrive.

2. Aurora Behavioral Health System

Overview: Aurora's Health System is another vital player in this critical area, located in Glendale and Tempe. Aurora offers an enormous array of services in behavioural health to adults and adolescents alike.

Specializations: Aurora is strongly recognized for its crisis intervention programs and acute psychiatric care. This is also accompanied by speciality treatment for co-occurring disorders, a massive plus for patients facing complex problems.

Why Choose Aurora: Aurora's commitment to individualized treatment plans and a focus on crisis management places them at the very top of a list of premier facilities for those in need of immediate, intensive behavioural health services .

3. Terros Health

Overview: For over 50 years, Terros Health has been one of the pillars of the community, with locations throughout Arizona. Their mission is to inspire change, for life, through integrated care addressing physical and mental health.

Specialities: Terros Health has an integrated model of care that weaves primary care and behavioural health together. Such a model is very instrumental in serving patients with chronic conditions needing coordinated care across several medical disciplines.

Why Terros Health: Terros Health is different in its holistic, integrated model of care that not only treats the symptoms but also covers the whole person. This makes them a unique behaviour health service provider for those with complex health needs.

4. Valley Hospital

Overview: Valley Hospital, located in Phoenix, is a private psychiatric hospital. It allows one to offer a continuum in mental health care. From detoxification to outpatient services, this facility can help individuals with a rather wide scope of behavioural health problems.

Specializations: Valley Hospital specializes in the treatment of co-occurring substance use disorders with other mental health disorders. The programs available also include crisis stabilization treatment for short periods and long-term residential treatment.

Why Choose Valley Hospital: Valley Hospital has structured programs designed to help patients with addictions and co-occurring diseases get to the root of their problems. Their staff, combined with evidence-based treatment protocols, makes them a trustworthy behaviour health service provider.

5. Banner Behavioral Health Hospital

Overview: Based in Scottsdale, Banner l Health Hospital has been distinguished for its fully integrated mental health services. With over 40 years of experience, Banner offers acute care and has both inpatient and outpatient treatment services available.

Specialties: Banner is best known for mood disorders, substance abuse, and psychiatric conditions. A team of board-certified psychiatrists, licensed psychologists, and professional therapists ensures that each patient gets the treatment he or she deserves.

Why Choose Banner: The holistic approach to mental health that Banner applies and its immense resources help place it top of the list for those in search of behavioural health services . Their patient-oriented care and innovative treatment ways have built a good reputation.

Conclusion

Each of these top-rated providers brings onboard different strengths and specialized services to suit various needs. However, if it's a centre blending the traditional with state-of-the-art therapies in a caring, empathetic environment, Sigma Wellness Center is definitely at the forefront of that list. Contact us today. From everyday stressors to more serious mental health challenges, our skilled team is ready to help you find a path to wellness.

[naomixhill]

6 December 2022

19 October 2022

It’s unlike anything I’ve ever felt before. I am screaming on my bathroom floor as blood breaks through the bandages on my freshly shattered foot. I am all but waterboarding the upper part of my body into an ice bath trying to reduce my temperature, but can’t stop screaming, can’t stop bleeding, can’t stop vomiting. You are out of town. I won’t know until months later that you’re in Pittsburgh when you are supposed to be in Cleveland, visiting your grandmother freshly admitted into a hospital. But A, the psychiatrist, my best friend, she is here. And she continues to coo, this pain is temporary. You are safe. It is going to be okay. as I continue to throw up and scream into the night.

The only thing I want is your embrace.

I was only a few weeks out from an NPC bodybuilding competition. I was finally going to be on stage and take back ownership of my body after being assaulted in Arizona. But you don’t know what happened. No one does. As luck would have it, I dropped a 225 pound barbell on my foot earlier today and was hospitalized most of the day. But you don’t know about that, either.

20 October 2022

My parents came to town. My mother’s presence only makes the situation worse, but I can’t turn them away. My best friend, A, she is here; Z, the software engineer, he’s here, too. We planned to have a  family dinner, as in the kind with your chosen family, while you were out of town. Instead, it is spent with my father asking Z about work, admiring him, and asking A about her work in psychology. He hates her liberal politics, but seems to respect her intellect and wit.

Once they leave, A tells me, come on Naomi, we have to get those bloody bandages off you from last night. I try to bargain with her: I will do anything for this foot not to be touched. It is throbbing and I am on opioids and high on marijuana, but can’t mute the pain at all. She encourages Z to sit on rim of the bath tub and hold me back as she unbandages the blood-filled, sopping blood-filled, cloth. They catch on the wounds of my foot, eventually exposing my poorly stitched together big toe. I almost lost it.

Z runs his fingers through my hair and plays my favorite YouTube playlist. He tells me he realizes he’s not you, but he will love me with everything he has because I deserve to be loved. I shriek in pain as blood hits the bath tub basin, and recoil into his arms. I vomit over his lap in agony.

When I come to myself again, we are all laying in Our bed, and A has put on my favorite season of Gossip Girl. Z is holding me, A is holding me. I am squeezed in the middle.

27 October 2022

I am admitted into the Panhandle’s best outpatient surgery facility. You are with me only because someone is required to drive me home later in the day. As the nurse preps me for surgery, you continue to type away on your laptop and take an incoming call from a lender. You’re working hard over there, just having come back from another trip to Cleveland. Needles puncture all of my veins throughout my right and left arms. I am scared, I am really scared; I don’t know if I am going to lose part of my foot yet, but you are somewhere else entirely. I look over to you from time to time for comfort. But you are nowhere to be found.

When I wake up from operation and am finally carted back into the recovery room, I ask you to borrow your phone to call my parents. And there she is: Divya. I have never seen or heard of the name before, but she is there. And you’re talking about having babies with her-- six to be exact. Her message pops up on your phone. But I am on Fetanyl, and I am on anesthesia, and I gaslight myself into thinking it’s nothing.

29 October 2022

I feel like a burden because I can’t do anything for myself. If i need water, I need you to get it. I can’t feed myself. I am in endless agony that no drug is strong enough to control. You mostly ignore me, watching sports and reading Twitter, and passively telling me that it will be okay.

As we go outside to the balcony to smoke a bowl, you mention in passing that you think it would be best for me to stay at A’s while I recover. So I limp into your truck, let you take me there, and now I live in the basement of an aged building with mold on the walls, radon in the air, and cum stains on the carpet. There is no money in psychiatry and this proves it. My guest room is dark, damp, and has only a mattress, a week of clothes, a company computer, my medicine, and my lizard. 

2 November 2022

I am supposed to go to Chicago for work tomorrow. I am only a few days post-op, but the vice president has requested that i speak at a conference there. I look like shit. No one is feeding me. I can hardly bathe myself. So, I do my best to get into a car, and drive to a nearby esthetician to work on my eyebrows. I figure it’s the least offensive thing I can do to look immediately better.

Outside of my appointment, walking back to my rusted Ford in the dark of Tallahassee, a group of men surround me and yell at me for me to give them my wallet. I refuse and they take turns beating the shit out of me. One pulls out a car key and shoves it straight into my cornea.

When it’s all over, I can no longer see out of my left eye from the damage. It feels like shards of glass are repeatedly stabbing me, and I break down crying behind a Publix. It must take me an hour before I can walk again and get to my car.

When I get home, Z and A are watching a film on her new projector. When they see my eye, bulging and red, they immediately ask what happened and I blame it on the esthetician losing her grip and hitting me with her tweezers. There are no noticeable rips or bruises on my skin that they can see. No one knows what really happened.

I close my bedroom door and cry. Z comes in and tries to console me, but it is of no use. No one understands why I am really crying. All I want is to see you.

I text you but you never reply.

3 November 2022

The following day, I have to go to an emergency eye doctor to evaluate the damage to my eye. He tells me that I may lose up to ninety percent of my vision without surgery. He dilates both eyes, and puts a patch on the impacted one. I call you from the parking lot to ask for your help to pick me up. You say that you’re training the new hire and can’t come.

The next thirty minutes are one of the scarier moments of my life as I swerve in and out of traffic with only one dilated eye and one working foot.

4 December 2022

I have seen you only twice in a month. We are at an Indian restaurant when I tell you that my surgical boot is coming off tomorrow, and I would love to come home. I am scared here. I don’t want to be here anymore. I just want to be home with you. In. My. Home. That you kicked me out of. Two days post-op. Mid samosa bite, as I chew potatoes and carrots and fried bread, you tell me that we need to break up. That we want different things.

I suppose I should have seen this coming, but it is still a shock. And it’s a far worse blow to my being than the foot or eye.

6 December 2022

Where are you, now?

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