#Best Dance Paintings in New Zealand

[laurenairay]

9) “You’re an idiot.” “Thanks!”

This request with William Nylander please :)

9 – “You’re an idiot.” “Thanks!” – William Nylander

685 words.

I had a lot of fun writing this one, anon! And a lot of fun researching it too.

*

Dating William Nylander could be a wild ride – the parties, the nightclubs, the team events, the constant media attention – and when things were good, he absolutely thrived. You loved seeing him in his element, laughing and joking with his friends on the team, dancing with him on club dancefloors, holding his hand at team events, embracing that full-on 100% persona he used to get through the highs and lows of hockey in Toronto.

But sometimes, an evening in with just the two of you was just what you needed, wearing your cosiest pyjamas while drinking wine and watching TV quiz shows. The two of you had a routine now, as silly as it sounded, and most of the time it was William who instigated it – whenever he came home from practice with a couple of bottles of wine in hand and a hopeful look on his face, you knew that all he wanted was to wind down in front of the TV on the sofa with you, and you were always more than happy to indulge him.

You’d have thought by this point that he would be better at answering the quiz questions though.

“Who painted the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel?”

“Van Gogh!” William called out.

You just snickered. “Michelangelo.”

“The answer is…Michelangelo.”

“Damn, that wasn’t even close,” William snorted.

“Don’t worry baby, I’m sure you’ll get the next one,” you teased.

He just laughed, leaning over to peck your lips in a soft kiss before sitting back upright and taking a sip of his wine.

“Who wrote ‘it was the best of times, it was the worst of times’?”

“Roald Dahl?” William guessed.

“Charles Dickens,” you said simply.

“The answer is…Charles Dickens.”

“Whoops,” William shrugged.

And the next half hour didn’t get any better from there.

~

“Which British singer holds the record for the fastest-selling album in the US?”

“Ed Sheeran!”

“Adele.”

“The answer is…Adele.”

~

“What is the capital of New Zealand?”

“Auckland? Is that a city?”

“Maybe Wellington?”

“The answer is…Wellington.”

~

“Gouda is a popular cheese originating from which country?”

“Uh…France?”

“Nah, it’s The Netherlands!”

“The answer is…The Netherlands.”

~

“From which city do the band The Killers originate?”

“Salt Lake City!”

“Los Angeles?”

“The answer is…Las Vegas.”

“Well at least we both got that last one wrong,” you mused.

“I don’t think I got a single question right here,” William said, grimacing dramatically.

“You’re an idiot,” you giggled, draining the last of your wine.

“Thanks!” William said with a big grin.

His silly response made you burst out laughing properly as you set your empty wine glass on the table, your boyfriend joining you with snickering laughter of his own. “Okay, that was mean of me, I’m sorry baby.”

“It’s okay, I know I’m not always the sharpest crayon in the box,” he shrugged, still smiling.

“Still doesn’t mean I can be rude or make you feel bad,” you said simply, raising an eyebrow.

“Alright, well I forgive you anyway,” William said, shrugging again.

This guy was too good to be true sometimes. And the last thing you ever wanted was to make him feel bad about himself.

“Are you sure there’s no way I can make it up to you?” you asked, tilting your head in question.

He looked at you for a moment in silence before a slow smirk spread across his lips, tongue darting out briefly to wet them. “I’m sure there something I can think of.”

Yeah that was more like the boyfriend you knew and loved. William slid his hand over your thigh to emphasise his point, making you laugh as you climbed into his lap, straddling his thighs.

“How are we doing so far on coming up with ideas, baby?” you teased, pressing your chest up against his so your lips were brushing.

William slid his hands round to rest on your ass with a grin. “I think we’re off to a good start.”

It was all you could do to laugh again as he captured your lips in a kiss, losing yourself in his familiar embrace, letting your body melt into his.

[miniaturetalecrown]

Hetalia Character Profiles - Ireland

Character’s Name: Ireland. Shannon Orla Doyle (1175-1949), Shannon Orla Doyle-Kohler (1949-present), Shaz (by Mhairi and Mathias), Mum (by Liam).

Age: Human - Baby, toddler, and child (400s-1175), teenager (1175-1542), Appears 18 by 1542, is 27 in the modern day.

Height: 5”5 (165cm).

Physical Description: Average height, Shannon is the shortest of her siblings, with Mhairi (Scotland) only being slightly taller and Dylan (Wales) and Arthur (England) being a couple of inches taller. Shannon has a slim hourglass build.

Eye Colour: Emerald green.

Hair Colour/Style: Long strawberry blonde curls that reach down to her waist. Shannon has thick hair like Mhairi. Shannon usually has her hair tied up in braids or buns.

Other Physical Traits: Freckles all over her face and body. Shannon also has her ears pierced and a Celtic tattoo on her back.

Personal Appearance/Style: Shannon wears a lot of greens, blues, browns, reds, and white. Shannon’s wardrobe is full of dresses, long skirts, comfy jumpers, and blue jeans.

Verbal Style: Shannon speaks with a broad Irish accent. Shannon also speaks Irish as well as English.

Education: Shannon is well-educated and helped Mhairi teach Alfred (America), Matthew (Canada), Jake (Australia), and Rachel (New Zealand). Later, Shannon taught Liam (Northern Ireland). Shannon has a degree in nursing that she earned in the 1920s.

Occupation: Diplomat. Shannon also works as a nurse in her spare time.

Past Occupations: Military nurse and as a midwife for Mhairi.

Skills, Abilities or Talents: Shannon is a talented dancer and enjoys traditional Irish dance. Shannon is also a talented musician and can play the fiddle and the harp as well as sing. Shannon enjoys baking and often bakes cakes and cupcakes.

Positive Personality Treats: Friendly, motherly, compassionate, and outdoorsy.

Negative Personality Traits: Stubborn and can be hot-headed.

Sense of Humour: Sarcastic and dark.

Physical/Mental Illnesses or Afflictions: Shannon has traumas that stem from Arthur invading Shannon, as well as the religious wars in Ireland that would lead to the Troubles. In 1921, after gaining Independence from the UK, Shannon found herself separated from her only child, Liam, which devastated Shannon.

Hobbies/Interests: Dancing, painting, playing the harp, playing the fiddle, and singing.

Favourite Foods: Stew, fish, and shephards pie.

Most Important Personal Items: Her emerald engagement, her photo albums, and her collections of Irish literature.

Person/Friend Close to Character: Shannon’s younger sister and best friend, Mhairi. Shannon and Mhairi are the closest siblings of the British Isles and often spend time together, usually hiking. Mhairi tries to visit Shannon at least once a month, and Shannon will also try to visit Mhairi. The sisters share a lot of history together, and they can both speak Irish and Scottish Gaelic, as the languages are similar. The two were Suffragettes in the 1900s and 1910s, along with Rachel, and all three often went to protests around the UK.

Background: Shannon was born around the 400s AD to Hibernia and Britannia. Shannon is the eldest of four siblings. Shannon is closest to her younger sister Mhairi, but is close to her younger brother, Dylan. Shannon doesn't have the best relationship with Arthur after the way that he’s treated Shannon since the 1100s. After becoming a republic in 1949, Shannon married her long-term boyfriend, Mathias (Denmark), with Mhairi and Lukas (Norway) as the two witnesses. In 1919, Shannon gave birth to Liam, with Mhairi as her midwife.

[afpwestcoast]

The Wilbur Theatre, Boston, MA, 4/29/23

This was the last show of a three-city mini-tour in the ‘An Evening With’ vein. After a handful of shows with the Dresden Dolls last year Amanda was ready to see if she could still fly solo. It was her home turf (when she stepped onto the stage someone yelled “Welcome home!”; Amanda teared up) and her birthday eve (the crowd spontaneously broke into a rousing chorus of Happy Birthday!) so it promised to be a safe space and a good time. Despite pre-show warnings to be prompt since there was no opener, Svitlana Zavialova (aka Wu Woman), who has become a bit of a fixture at Amanda’s recent shows, took to a stage draped in drop cloths to perform one of her pieces that combine martial arts, dance, and art as she splashes paint onto a canvas in the course of her movements. I find these pieces both captivating and a little intimidating. They give you the impression that when the shit finally hits the fan you are going to want Svitlana to be on your side.

Annotated Set List:

Creep (uke) (Radiohead cover)

Ampersand (piano) After this song a woman in the audience yelled out, “You made me cry!” To which Amanda replied, “Just wait.”

Welcome to the Internet (piano) (Bo Burnham cover) Amanda said that this was a very difficult song to cover, which she knew because she searched the Internet for covers and couldn’t find any.

The Killing Type (piano)

New Zealand (uke) Amanda recounted the story of how this song was written quickly and spontaneously before a show in New Zealand one night when some Kiwis were kvetching about her writing a song about Australia and another about Tasmania (sort of). The line ‘I wish I could stay here and never go home’ is a little ironic given subsequent events.

Hello Aotearoa (uke) This is sort of a sequel to New Zealand and tells the story of being a stranger in a strange land during the pandemic.

Untitled New Song (maybe Unkind?) (piano)

The Winner Takes It All (piano) (Abba cover) Amanda declared this to be the best divorce song ever and explained that she got into Abba because her Mom (who was in attendance) had played them in the car while driving her around as a child.

Drowning in the Sound (piano) Wu Woman performed a martial dance - with sword.

Then there was a pause in the action so Justin could propose to Angie. He said something about wanting her next to him on this ride. He was a little unsteady, but she said yes!

The Ride (piano)

— Intermission —

The painting that Svitlana created at the top of the show was auctioned off.

Astronaut: A Short History of Nearly Nothing (piano)

I Want You, But I Don’t Need You (piano) (Momus cover)

Amanda recounted being on a hike with some Kiwi friends and giving them a bit of a history lesson about the American revolution (as only a native of Lexington could) after Paul Revere had come up somehow and none of the Kiwis knew who he was. She regaled them with the story of some farmers with guns facing off against the British army, and they responded that this gave them some insight into why Americans love guns so much.

Everybody Knows Somebody (uke)

She then told a story about taking Ash to Dick’s Sporting Goods to get some new shoes and he was running around poking into everything and asking questions when suddenly they turned a corner and were confronted by the gun section of Dick’s. She was somewhat taken aback because in New Zealand sporting goods stores don’t have gun sections.

Another Christmas (Storey Littleton on guitar; Amanda on vocals)

Whakenewha (pronounced Fuckin-A-Fa) (Amanda on piano; Storey harmonizing)

At this point someone yelled out “Amanda I’m too sad!” prompting her to play the first few bars of Coin-Operated Boy, which was a callback to the There Will Be No Intermission tour.

Machete (piano) Svitlana returned to the stage for another dance, and this time the sword was highly appropriate.

Coin-Operated Boy (piano) This time for real! Amanda continued the broken record part of the song (-go, and I’ll never be alone -go, and I’ll never be alone) for much longer than usual. Then she channeled her inner Steve Rogers by declaring, “I can do this all night!”

——

The encore got off to a chaotic start when a birthday cake appeared (Amanda basically stuck her face in it to take a bite) and the crowd erupted into another not-so-spontaneous rendition of Happy Birthday! I say not-so-spontaneous because there was a gentleman near the stage who was actually conducting the crowd. Amanda revealed that this was none other than Ben Zander, conductor of the Boston Philharmonic Orchestra. She mused that she had done a show with the Boston Pops, but it would probably be more fun to do one with the Phil. Then she mentioned something about Ben’s work with the Youth Philharmonic, and pointed out that Rachel Jayson - rock star, fashionista, and also a youth conductor - was in the audience and they should do something together. Eventually she finally got around to playing …

In My Mind (uke)

After the show Amanda really did introduce Ben Zander to Rachel Jayson - I hope something exciting comes out of that!

I hugged Amanda and told her, “You still got it, kid.” She told me that there is a version of herself that only exists on stage, and it is her favorite version of herself. I think this really comes through in her performances.

Photo Gallery:

For some reason the venue was uncharacteristically strict in their “no photos” policy, so I didn’t get many shots. But I did manage to sneak a couple!

Amanda is a creep! (And a weirdo.)

Costume change!

[ffcarlos-grad604]

Design Examples Shown in Lecture

McCarthy Studio - Arts Month Campaign

At the core of the campaign was an interactive tool, housed on the Arts Foundation website, that allowed the public to draw, type, paint, doodle or add imagery to a composition. In the physical, Sharpie marker pens were attached to Phantom posters and left next to postcards at cafés. They answered the open ended question 'Art Is:' on what art meant to them. Posters were put up around schools and public spaces encouraging use and participation.

Tatiana Tavares - Vivian-A Graphic Novel

The project was about the impact of gender on palliative care and how males and females get different care in that regard. It involved research from medical from the School of Nursing. The method of creating the design work included a 2 day staged photoshoot, editing the photos, painting over them to add detail and collage; put together to create the image.

Aaron Mclean and Tyrone Ohia - Stone Soup vol.6 & 7

Stone Soup Syndicate are a congregation of creatives who founded a freely distributed independent street press with a counter-cultural spirit. The magazine focuses on creating conversations through the lens of food. Other than cooking and preserving and searching for interesting places to eat, they are interested in how the environmental, social and ethical aspects of food intersect.

Seachange Studio - Worms Display

We Compost is Auckland’s leading compost service, diverting millions of kg from going to landfill. I love the simplistic, playful, yet clever typeface using the worms as the letters and the use of just one colour. It speaks to the grass-roots of composting.

Chris Flack - Mate Act Now

In response to the 2019/20 Australian bushfires, and recontextualised by the global outbreak of COVID-19, MATE ACT NOW is a co-ordinated response of over 100 designers from some of the world’s top creative studios to drive climate action.

Osborne Shiwan - Atamira Dance Campaign

Atamira Dance Company is a Māori contemporary dance company in Aotearoa based at the Corban Estate Arts Centre in Auckland. When the 2 posters are put side by side, the typography/letters that spell “Atamira” create a seamless pattern showing the elegance and movement in dance.

Catherine Griffiths - 403 Best Awards

Each year the Designers Institute of New Zealand awards two Black Pins, its supreme award. For the past two decades, 43 Black Pins have been awarded, of which 40 have gone to men and 3 to women. These posters address the gender and sexism issues in the NZ Best Awards.

[emberleesblog]

Tagged by @cambot77

Thanks for the tag!

1. Named after anyone?

Nope. I'm not sure where my name came from. For a long time I was the only person in my family that didn't have a passed down name(s). My dad just liked it. Misspelled it, but liked it.

2. Last time you cried?

Uh, sometime last week I think. But there's another bout brewing in t minus 5 minutes

3. Any kids?

Nadda.

Dunno if I ever will

4. Sports played/playing?

Hockey (Indoor and outdoor)

Soccer (Indoor and outdoor)

Badminton

Dragon boating

Touch rugby

Gymnastics

(And if you include dancing as sports then Highland Dance and Ballet)

5. Do you use sarcasm?

Constantly. Its another language. Now, do I recognise sarcasm? Depends on the dialect

6. First thing you notice about other people?

Tone of voice. I'm really bad with eye contact so I'm often not even looking at people when talking. And when I do look up, it'll be whatever shiny object or bright colour they're wearing.

7. Eye colour

Blue

8. Scary movies or happy endings?

Uh, no movies?

But if I have to choose, happy endings

9. Talents?

Finding the best piece of driftwood on the beach

10. Where were you born?

New Zealand 🇳🇿

11. Hobbies?

Currently: reading, writing, drawing, crotchet, painting, beach combing, avoiding life, photography, lead light making, flower pressing, fashion, singing, rock collecting

12. Pets?

None of my own currently. One day I'll have another cat. Or a rabbit

13. Height?

I keep forgetting, but it's around 5'4" 5'5"? I felt tall today though

14. Favourite subject in school?

Biology.

15. Dream job?

Look, I could go on a very long discussion about this. There's a lot of jobs I'd like to do but couldn't in my life time. Ultimately I'd like not to work. Just, learn without being tested or expected to retain that knowledge. Currently the dream is to be a geologist though :)

Tagging: @lassify @primalarc @glacecakes or anyone else who'd like to play :)

Tagged by @piracytheorist.

1. Named after anyone?

No. Because in my culture, naming your kid after any relatives (traditionally this meant EVERYONE up to 3 generations before you) is a big no-no, a taboo. It shows a lack of respect for that person. Nowadays, the rule is much looser, just eliminating the names of the grandparents and the parents' sibling(s) from both sides of the family, then the young parents can give their children any names they think sound good.

2. Last time you cried?

Last September, when my dog passed away.

3. Any kids?

I can't stand loud noises, so... Hell NO.

4. Sports played/playing?

I'm just too lazy to play anything.

5. Do you use sarcasm?

Yeah, when I'm annoyed or angry. Sometimes I have to consciously tone it down. You can't snark at your clients, unfortunately.

6. First thing you notice about people?

Their passion/obsession? I can forget a person as soon as they're out of my eyesight. But if you rant to me about the thing you like, I'll remember you for years.

7. Eye color?

Just brown.

8. Scary movies or happy endings?

I used to love scary movies as a young teen. After a while, all of them seem the same to me, so I got bored. Now? Happy ending is the top choice.

9. Talents?

Drink 3 cups of black coffee and still being able to sleep like a rock after that.

10. Where were you born?

Vietnam.

11. Hobbies?

Drawing and reading.

12. Pets?

None right now.

13. Height?

167cm (5'5"???). I'll forever be salty about not being able to reach 170cm during my growth spurt.

14. Favorite subject in school?

Computer.

15. Dream job?

Manga author. Yeah, step-by-step, I'm still working toward that goal.

Tagging @whateversawesome, @nire-the-mithridatist and @tare-chan, this is simply for my own curiousity so please only do this when you have free time to spare and feel willing to share.

[theworldofotps]

Silent Feelings (Part 2 of S.S)

Pairing: Dexter Lumis x Reader Word Count: 1,404 Description: Dexter wants to do more than just be y/n’s friend. But how can he do that when neither are sure how the other feels?

Part 1

Part 3

Warning: Povs switch between first and third person throughout the fic. They are separated by ~~~ so hopefully you don’t get confused.

Also I wrote the little piece Dexter gives the reader a while ago so please be gentle.

Thank you @new-zealand-chic for beta reading for me! ________ Tag list: @hungmanhorsecarriage @writtingrose @sjwrites22 @sassymox @the-beastslayers-queen @thewrestlingwarehouse @new-zealand-chic @mrsambroserollinsacklesmgk @xladyxfatex @biforrollynch @irish-newzealand-idian-dutch @demonqueen29 @itsicantbelievethis666 @lilred91 @xbreezymeadowsx  @rebellious-desires @youcantreignonmyparade @melblacc @letsgivethisonemoreshot @omg-im-such-a-masochist 

If you wanna be added to the list lemme know. _______ “So as your best friend besides old Finn here I need to ask you..has Dexter kissed you yet?”

Shotzi smiles as she leans across the table waiting patiently for me to give her what I’m assuming she’s hoping is juicy details.

“Listen Shots, we’ve only gone out a few times so no he hasn’t kissed me yet, he hasn’t even attempted to but I don’t mind. Sure I’d like to kiss him but I want him to be comfortable and I don’t know if he even wants to kiss me.”

I trail off looking between them when they stare at me sipping my water I offer an awkward smile. 

“Will you two stop staring at me please because it’s really making me uncomfortable.”

“Oh come on lass of course the lad wants to kiss you but maybe he's worried you don't want that. Sometimes it's hard telling what a person wants."

"He's right, I mean he's always getting you your favorite coffee. Without you even asking and when you go to pay it back he won't let you. It's been what a few months give or take, since you two went on your first outing together. And you've had countless ones since then. Not to mention you're always talking and he hasn't even spoken to you, and."

"Okay, Shotzi I think she gets it lass, sit down and take a breather."

Finn pats her shoulder before looking back at me. 

"I really think he'd like to kiss you, he watches your mouth a lot and Dexter just really looks at you like a man that wants to grab up his girl and lay one on her."

"I hear what you all are saying and it makes sense I'm just scared you guys could be reading it wrong. If it happens it does and if it doesn't it's fine, now if you two will excuse me. I'm gonna pack up for the day and head home. I wanna get a nice soak in the tub before it gets too late."

"Alright sorry it's just really exciting to see you so happy, Finn said for all the years he's known you. This is the happiest you've been in a while."

"Just giving out all of my secrets Devitt?"

"Hey it was just casual conversation, now go off and enjoy your night." 

“Thanks see you two later.”

Hugging them both I sling my bag over my shoulder and leave the table making my way down the hall I pull my phone out. I wasn’t sure if this would do any good but I decided why not give it a shot.

Y/n💮: Do you wanna come over and hang out for a bit?

Pressing send I make it out to my car setting my duffel back on the seat next to me, rolling the windows down I turn the radio up pulling out of the lot. Singing along to the music I dance in my seat thinking about what Shotzi and Finn had said. Dexter had been doing little things here and there for me, I was getting a decent collection of his painting. Not to mention he had started leaving little poems in my locker room every Wednesday. Maybe they were right and tonight I was planning on finding out.

Pulling into my garage I go into the house I was renting from my cousin kicking my shoes off I check my phone.

D. Lumis👀: Yeah sure I’ll be there in half an hour need me to bring anything?

Y/n💮: Any snacks if you’d like we can order dinner here?

D. Lumis👀: Sounds good see you then

Y/n💮: Be safe 

Running upstairs I start a bath I could spend twenty minutes soaking and showering than the last ten dressing. Searching for a comfortable outfit I take it into the bathroom finishing up getting everything set and I strip stepping in. This water felt amazing on my soar muscles. ~~~~~ Dexter dresses in a pair of slacks and a black tank top, he was excited to spend some time with you. Even if he didn’t particularly look so. Grabbing his phone and keys Dexter leaves his room going downstairs. Grabbing the small box he had for you Dexter locks up his house going to his car. He’d stop at the store closest to your house and grab the snacks before continuing to your place. Going inside he grabs a few of your favorite snacks and drinks then going to the front he pays. Now it was time to head over and meet you. ~~~~~ Wrapping the towel around my body I leave the bathroom and make my way into the bedroom. Grabbing my undergarments I go to put them on and stop hearing a knock on my front door. Damn must have been in the bathroom a little longer than planned. Rushing from the room I make my way downstairs and look out the peep hole.

“Dexter!”

Smiling I open the door and greet him as I step back to let him in. Watching as his eyes flicked down my frame and then back up. I had completely forgotten that I was only in a towel. Embarrassment hits me full force as I rub the back of my neck.“

Sorry about that I was in the shower and ended up being in there longer then I meant to be.”

Offering a smile as he stepped inside Dexter holds up two bags in his hands. 

“You got the stuff awesome, go ahead and sit in the living room. Please make yourself comfortable. I'm just uh gonna go get dressed.”

Quickly turning away I go back up to my room closing the door. Leaning against it I groan and sigh then continue with getting dressed. After I was finally ready I left my room going back downstairs. 

“Okay I’m back ready to order some food and watch a movie?”

~~~~~ Dexter nods his head showing you he had the snacks and drinks all set up. He scoots over so you could sit next to him and he pulls out a smaller bag. Setting it in your hands, Dexter watches you nervously.

“What’s this?”

You asked him and he motions for you to open it. Lifting the paper he watches as you pull out the small framed poem he gave you a few weeks ago. Occasionally he’d write a poem and give it to you, this was one of your favorites.

“Wildflowers, by Dexter Lumis.”

You read out loud as you look at the frame. 

‘If I had to use one single word to describe you it would be, wildflower. Your personality is brightly colored with love and patience.  The strong will you hold is a trait I think I admire the most.

Despite all the things thrown at you darling you continue to grow.  The space you take up in this world makes life beautiful. Be that you are soft at times when vulnerable, but always firm when need be.  All your different traits add up to the beautiful free spirit you are.’

“Awee Dexter that's so sweet thank you.”

Giving you a small smile and nod Dexter offers you the remote to pick a movie for you to watch. Selecting one of your favorites you order dinner then settle back resting your head on his shoulder. 

As the evening continued on Dexter could see you were getting tired, even though you kept denying it. Halfway through the fourth movie Dexter looked at the time seeing it was nearly midnight. You really should be getting to bed and he needed to get home. 

Gently nudging you Dexter smiles as you cuddle closer to his side. Sighing he grabs the blanket off the back of your couch laying down so you were resting on his chest and covers you both. Rubbing your back lightly when you start to stir Dexter turns the tv off.

Once the room is plunged in darkness he closes his eyes, if he was honest he was loving every minute of holding you.

“Dexter.”

You mumbled causing him to open his eyes and rub your back a little softer.

“Hmm?”

“Thank you for staying I really like having you over….I really like you.”

Yawning you rub your eyes drifting back off to sleep and just before you’re completely gone you hear what you think is a faint whisper.

“I really like you too y/n.”

[purplesurveys]

1514

What was the best thing to happen to you this week? Probably watching Lollapalooza (online, lol) with my friends. Angela’s workplace held a mental health break that day and Reena and I filed leaves so we can all be together since it took place Monday morning where we are. We haven’t gathered since the last concert in Seoul last March so it was something I had really been looking forward to!

Where do you put your keys when you get home? We have a key holder on the wall near the door. But sometimes I’ll do a complete Robyn and inadvertently leave the key by the door and only remember once someone in the house calls me out for it lol.

Do you prefer hot coffee or iced coffee? Iced. For the longest time I thought I preferred hot coffee, then I discovered iced when I was in college and my life was changed hahaha.

What's your phone background picture? Lockscreen is this really cool shot of Hobi at Lollapalooza. Home screen is of Taehyung posing by the Eiffel Tower.

If you could move to any country, what would it be? Canada or New Zealand.

Have you ever seen a snake in the wild? Nope.

What's your favourite movie from the 80s? Ferris Bueller’s Day Off.

Do you have any posters, paintings or other artwork on your walls? Yeah but it’s as all over the place as the rest of my room is. I have some Audrey Hepburn prints that’s been up since I was in high school; and I have a couple of BTS posters up from the BE and Butter eras.

What would your dream wedding be like? Big, lots of guests, live band with lots of dancing, the whole shebang. I hate hate hate being the center of attention for the most part and I like to keep it lowkey when it comes to gatherings I hold, but a wedding is the one thing I’d be more than willing to let loose for.

Would you ever take a trip to space if given the chance? If I was part of some credible research project then yeah; I’d definitely do my own digging beforehand too before making any decisions. I would never go to space for commercial purposes.

How do you cope with anxiety? Given that work is the main trigger for my anxiety, I just shut down my laptop when I know it’s time to stop. I clear out my emails before the day ends and refuse to answer clients beyond 6 PM. Occasionally I will leave my phone downstairs and spend time at the rooftop so I can be *completely* alone and not be bugged by notifications that might come in.

Are you expecting any phone calls or emails? No, never during the weekend.

What's the weather like in your part of the world right now? It’s been rainy; too rainy, in fact. We currently have a typhoon in the country if I’m not mistaken, but temperature-wise I am a happy camper. Can you believe I currently have the fan turned off in the middle of the year?

What was the last takeout food you ate? Not a big surprise at this point for anyone here who knows me but I got sushi again last night, hehehe. I paired that with gyoza in my quest to try to like it - alas, it failed and I still super dislike the strong chive taste that comes with it.

Who makes you laugh the most? Putting IRL people aside, probably Jungkook?? The man is a living breathing meme and he doesn’t even know it. But as for people I know, I’d say Hans.

Do you know anyone with the same middle name as you? No, but I’ve seen it as a surname.

What did you have done the last time you saw a dentist? Wisdom tooth extraction.

What does a successful relationship look like to you? That’s a difficult question primarily because everyone’s dynamic is different. 

What do you like to put on your baked potato? Bacon and cheese, very basic. I don’t have baked potatoes much so I stick to what’s usually put in them.

What field of science interests you the most? Biology.

What's the closest shop or restaurant to your house? McDonald’s is literally a cartwheel away from my subdivision’s gate. But my area is pretty commercialized so we have a bunch of shops within walking distance - there’s also a Chowking, Shakey’s, Burger King, Starbucks, a vinyl store, flower shop, furniture store, a bank...and lots lots lots more.

Do you have any family that live in another country? Oh, so many. Filipinos migrate a lot and it’s not surprising; this country needs a lot of fixing up and there are simply more opportunities to flourish abroad.

What colour is your couch? Gray.

Do you know how to care for plants and keep them alive? Nope, I’ve always been terrible with them.

What was the most memorable birthday you've had? The one I had last year was pretty special. It was my first birthday post-breakup and it was a pleasant surprise to have moved on and be happy by that point; I was expecting to still be in a really rough place. I couldn’t celebrate beyond family so I sent over food to co-workers and friends, and then I gave my family my first-ever birthday blowout; and I was also a VERY new Army and had the entire dining room and my cake decked out in BTS cutouts hahaha.

Would you rather go to the beach or the mountains? I’ve always preferred the beach/sea. I’m only ever in the mood for mountains in the morning, when you can catch the sun rise and feel the cool morning breeze.

What do you do for work? I work in public relations as an account manager. To badly describe my job, I know what big campaigns your favorite brands are having before they’re ever announced to the public.

Have you ever been to see the circus? No, never sounded interesting to me.

Are there any words that you hate or make you cringe? I hate the word gunk. It sounds exactly like what it is.

What is the best house you've ever lived in? This one we’re currently living in.

What was the first CD you ever bought? Beyoncé’s I Am...Sasha Fierce.

Do you look in the mirror before you leave the house? Yeah.

What's the most unusual thing you've ever eaten? My mom likes to combine whatever’s in the pantry to come up with her own dishes. They’re always tasty but sometimes I just really don’t have a clue what the dish is trying to be hahahaha.

Have you ever seen someone quit their job in a dramatic way? Not that I know of.

What movie reminds you of your childhood? The Game Plan because I used to be obsessed with it. Watched it every day after school.

Do you know why your parents named you what they did? Dad says I was named after Robyn the Swedish singer, mom says my dad just liked the name. Never really learned the true story.

Do you have any bills that need to be paid? Yeups, this pay-later thing that I activated on a shopping app a month ago.

What do you like to dip your fries in? Mayonnaise or honey mustard.

Is your house clean or messy right now? Clean.

What was the last email you received? Probably work-related. I’m not checking it out.

Do you know someone who speaks without a filter? Yes. We have a workmate that we’re currently struggling with...in trying to be extroverted she will usually end up saying something super awkward whether between co-workers or worse, to media and clients. She literally asked Kata if she’s a rebel because she has fucking piercings. 

Are you in any social groups? I mean I have several groups of friends, but nothing online. I’ve tried to be on Army Twitter but being on there is like walking in a landmine field, so I didn’t last too long and never made any friends in my short time there.

How many hours of sleep did you get last night? Around 5. I slept at 2 AM after spending the whole evening out then I woke up at about 7:30. What's your favourite kind of museum? I like museums with artworks or artifacts the most, but I would be down for any kind of museum. Ancestral houses are great visits too. Do you believe in alternate universes? Yeah.

Whose house did you last visit? Angela’s last Monday.

What games do you play on your smart phone? In the Seom. My playtime on Rhythm Hive has drastically decreased since the former came out, hahaha.

Have you ever been to Los Angeles? No.

What was the first concert you ever went to? Paramore in 2013.

Do you know anyone who is colourblind? Nope.

What's your favourite season and why? Wet, because I’ve always preferred rainy/cloud weather to sunny.

Are you the youngest, middle or eldest child in your family? I am the eldest.

If you had to make something for a potluck, what would you make? I’d stick with buying takeout because I can’t guarantee what I’ll make would be edible to begin with. What kinds of decorations do you put up at Halloween? I don’t put up decorations for Halloween.

How many tabs do you have open right now? On this window, 8. What's something you've been meaning to do but keep putting off? Work. I’ll probably have to do some tonight since it’s reached a point where it can’t be avoided.

What's the first thing you check on your phone at the start of the day? The time, then Instagram.

Have you ever flown a kite? Not since I was 11.

Who was your favourite music artist when you were 16? Banks and Hozier.

What are three things you usually always have in your fridge? Eggs, bread, frozen hotdogs.

[angeli-marco-writes]

Elizabeth Debicki - Gorgeous

A/N & WC - Back again with Elizabeth and Taylor Swift. Reputation is my favourite album currently, with evermore as a close second. Two incredible women in one yes please. Listen to 'Gorgeous' while reading for the feel of it. 2.8k exactly.

Warnings - Legal alcohol consumption, mild cursing once.

Summary - Elizabeth is gorgeous, just look at her, the world can see it. A drunken night leads to some tipsy confessions, but does Elizabeth feel the same?

“YOU'RE SO GORGEOUS…”

“What was that?” Elizabeth swiftly cuts in.

Your eyes grow wide in an instant, looking down intensely at the black table, sticky with spilt drinks, and turn your attention away.

“Nothing…” you trail off. Frankly, you hadn’t realised you were thinking aloud, but if you said what you were thinking, then tonight's girls night out with your best friend is gonna be a whole lot harder.

“So as I was saying, this guy from Bumble, he comes and he looks nothing like his profile picture, right?” Her eyes are so animated when she speaks, her jaw agog in a remembering shock, she taps at her glass with ebony painted fingernails. “Like his picture was a solid eight outta ten, but in person, not even a four. But there was something about him, you know? That little twinkle in his eye, so I gave him more of a fair shot than I do other catfishes.” You hum noncommittally, not necessarily listening to the words, but the soft undulating animation in her beautiful accent is worth listening to any day, even if just hearing about her going on a date with someone riles you up intensely. “No personality,” she gapes, smacking her lissom hands down on the table with a slight thump, causing some of her wine to spill. “Absolutely none! It was like talking to a brick wall for half an hour. Can you believe it? And he asked what part of Australia I was from, and when I said Melbourne, you know what he said? ‘Is that in New Zealand.’”

She scoffs, and downs the last of her wine. Her magnetic field is so strong, so alluring, you can’t help but feel drawn to her even more. She really should think about the consequences of her charisma or else you might snog her and ruin everything before the nights even over.

“What a dick,” you play along.

“Ugh, I know. Refill?”

“Please. Whiskey—”

“On ice. I know, hon.”

She smirks, shooting you a wink before standing up and practically gliding across the room to the bar. Your eyes twinkle with hope, with sinful want, as you watch her, and you’re sure that with your wistful expression and flushed cheeks and the way your mouth suddenly goes dry the second she says or does anything that could be construed in the least bit flirtatious that she knows how much you like her. Your whole body tingles, your words and sense swallowed up by an intense fire the second she touches you, it’s beginning to make you furious that she’s able to make you feel this way and still acts so coy about it if she even does have the first clue how utterly besotted you are with everything she does.

Over at the bar, Liz has to hunch to lean her forearms on the countertop, kicking her feet back a little, her short dress showing off her long, shapely legs with grace. She looks so sultry, with her leather jacket shrugged so casually over her pale shoulders. But your mind and illicit thoughts plummet and die the second you peer around her and capture a look at the bartender she’s talking to. Tall and that muscular build of slim that only comes from years of sport, a pinched waist and full chest, tanned skin—perhaps of Filipina descent, dark inky hair falling in tendrils from her work ponytail, no makeup and she still looks stunning. And exactly like Shay Mitchell. And she's flirting with your Elizabeth. Not that she’s yours or anything, that would be absurd, unless…

This woman is gorgeous, and you’re already jealous of her, of the attention she’s receiving from Elizabeth; the suggestive touches, the coy laughs, the revealing tug of her dress, the tentative tilt of her head, the run of her slender hand through her choppy blonde locks. But because Liz is single, it’s actually worse, because she’s been a lot more open and experimental with her sexuality recently, not labelling it but trying more out, trying more partners out. And you don’t fault her for that for even a moment, but why she can’t experiment with you, a raging queer, is beyond your grasp. It’s almost undoubted that she’s going to be taking this incredibly scorching hot bartender home at the end of the night, and if you weren’t out with Elizabeth, you’d be making the same move. But Liz… she desperately needs to think of the consequences of her touching this romans hand in a darkened room. That should be you.

You can’t get too possessive, though, as Liz has done her fair amount of touching you all night on this signature girls pub crawl, but it’s not the same, it’s not… enough. She’s been holding your hand, hooking her arm through yours to do shots, hugging you with her lithe arm around your waist as you totter down the high street in heels too high. It’s all been too friendly, though. And now it’s getting late, your final destination of the night. You’re practically the only patrons with a conscience at this point. You’ll be turning in soon, the bar will be closing soon, it’s inevitable. Liz will have a warm bed, and you’ll be left to go home alone to your cats. She’s so gorgeous, you can't blame the bartender, but she can’t blame you wither; love made you crazy.

You’re busy brooding over the ice slowly melting at the bottom of your glass, condensation forming in droplets on the rim when Liz casts a glance over her shoulder, a bright beaming smile etched upon her face, every line drawn up to match her glee. She points a long raven-painted digit at you, and prompts you to smile back, which you do—without even half as much fervour—and ensure you incline your head towards the bartender, whose dark hazel eyes are now fixed on you, before turning back, pretending to have found something of interest on the table.

“That’s y/n,” she says in a happy, furtive whisper, “my best friend.”

With her ocean blue eyes looking in yours, your mind is all scrambled, and with the intense feeling you might sink and drown and die, you know you need to get it in order before she returns, so you push your own stool out and head to stand in the doorway, fresh air hitting you like a brick wall.

The smell of the city instantly prevents it being worthwhile.

The sun set long ago, and you can see vines crawling up the building across the road from you, even in the dim street light and shadows. Even in a tucked away corner of the city, down back streets in a quiet quarter, the incessant incense of exhaust fumes and chippy food and pigeon shit never quite leaves one alone.

Everything’s winding down, quietening, muffled by an indelible blanket of night. A soft mist fills the air, an impending storm infiltrating your senses, roiling you a little. The walk home will be made worse by the rain soon to fall, ire digging at you for more reasons than one.

Elizabeth… She can make you so happy with one simple look that it turns back to sadness the moment you see the flicker of friendliness in her eyes, never anything more, never anything deeper, not once. What can you say? She’s gorgeous, she’s everyone else's for the taking, whoever she deems rakish enough to take home for the night.

The silence of the night, of your thoughts, is hewn by a sharp siren whizzing past you, so you push your pain away, and sidle back through the doors, shutting the slow drizzle of rain out as you close the door behind you.

Once you return inside, your thoughts slightly more reordered, you see her back at the table, fiddling idly with the hem of her dress, her cheeks tinted a soft red.

“So?”

“I got her number,” she confesses, barely able to bite back a smile, even as her perfect white teeth graze her lower lip. “She gets off shift in an hour.”

You were right, then.

“That’s nice. She’s hot.”

“I know,” she replies dreamily, “and looks exactly like Shay Mitchell, can you believe it? I fancied her so much when Pretty Little Liars first came out.”

“Yeah, I did too.” you admit quietly, clasping your hands around your fresh whiskey.

“You okay? It’s getting late, we can head off now.”

“Nope, absolutely fine. In fact, I think I’ll have another. Tell me something.”

“But we haven’t talked about you all night, I wanna know how your life is going. Love life too.” she protests.

What, your life with the monotonous job and the zero romantic prospects so you spend all your free time sitting at home reading and the nights with your vibrator and Liz in your head? How the hell are you supposed to tell her that.

You simply shrug, and keep a mask of cold, hard resolve in place. “You know my life. I’m interested in yours. Go on.”

So she does. And you do order another whiskey after your first, to the point where you’re verging on the highest restraints of merely tipsy and if you have another you’re heading fast for straight out drunk, which you shan’t do. But you’re merry, and Liz’s words all sound weird, slurred a little from the alcohol, her Australian accent bending to accommodate the vowel sounds she’s making with the occasional slip of a Polish or French word in there. She gets like this when she’s drinking, and it’s one of her most endearing qualities very few are able to see.

“Your voice sounds really weird,” you chuckle, leaning back in your chair, “you’re talkin’ all funny.”

“No I’m not!”

“You are.”

“Am so not!” She’s persistent, she never did back down easy.

You half heartedly shrug, knocking your glasses into one another on the table. You tug your jacket further around you, and purse your lips readying for battle.

“You know, you really should take it as a compliment that I’ve got drunk and I’m making fun of the way you talk.”

She allows her precisely plucked brows to dance over her face in surprise, though quickly schools her features into a plain mask.

“Alright, what’s up?”

“Nothing, Liz. I’m fine.” you say adamantly, and take another swig from your drink, savouring the tang on your tongue. Your glass makes another thud when you slam it down with unplanned and unnecessary force.

“You see, your mouth says that, but your… mouth is telling me something else?”

Before you can help it, your fingers are clutching the edge of the table, your cheeks heating softly, “I haven’t kissed you yet, how can that be?”

A chill slithers down your skin as her eyes grow wide, her pale skin blanching a shade further. “I didn’t mean, um, what? I—” she breaks off with a cough. “I ju— just meant that, um, you’re… sulking.”

“Oh.”

You can’t ignore the way your stomach plummets into the core of the earth, embarrassment taking over every other rational thought within your mind and body. Your soul is already brittle, but this? Your pride has certainly taken a knock enough for you to down the rest of your whiskey in one gulp.

“I’m gonna take off,” you say at last, across the curious blanket of silence, ignoring the way her angular face—limned with hope—falls a fraction.

“Please stay.”

You don’t think you hear her correctly, if at all. For all you know, her words could just be a whisper in the blustering breeze beating outside, the storm you predicted arriving early. In the dim bar, you’re away from it all, sage, until the bartender gets off shift and snatches Liz away for yet another night.

“Beg pardon?”

“Please stay,” she repeats, louder this time, but her blue eyes don’t meet yours across the table. “Tell me what’s up.”

She’s not backing down, so you brace yourself, allowing brazenness to fill you with courage, allowing your alcohol to eddie around you, summoning the words at long last.

“Nothing…” you say at first, because really, it is nothing, but she cocks her head at you that authoritative way. God, she should be a teacher with her assertive glances. “Just that you‘re so gorgeous I can’t say anything to your face…” you snatch her cup across the table, and take a deep swallow before shrugging and casting your gaze outside to spare yourself the mortification of being rejected. “Sober at least.”

You’re met with a beat of silence, “Why?”

“Look at your face!” you shout, utterly exasperated. You’ve got a good mind to pull a compact mirror to remind her how drop-dead stunning she is. “I’m so furious at you for making me feel this way.”

“Why, baby? What way?” she croons.

Too caught up in your momentary lapse of judgement and rant, you fail to notice her edging closer to you, moving your glasses out the way, letting her forearms rest on the sticky table just so she can watch the way you lick your lips with nerves.

“Crazy, because you’re so gorgeous it actually hurts.”

“R—really?” she stammers.

You turn back to her, all thoughts evaporating with her ocean blue eyes looking in yours, driving you insane. Her pretty lips are all parted and awaiting, how much you want to kiss her… So instead, you pout, and begin to throw a strop in your tipsy state.

“Tell me more.”

“No.”

“C’mon,” she teases, a smirk toying at her mouth, giving her cheeks subtle dimples. “Don’t leave me hanging. “Tell me what you really think. How I make you feel. I wanna hear,” her voice drops to a purr, leaning over the table to husk in your ear, “every little thing.”

“Ok then,” you concede. “You're so cool, it makes me hate you so much.”

“I don’t see how,” she snorts, “but continue.”

Her attention never once fails you or turns away, enamoured with your every mere breath.

“You’re gorgeous. Your magnetic field is too strong for me to cope. Your energy draws me in. You’re all I want.”

“More.” she coaxes, a single word, but a whisper, and yet it stokes the embers of desire in the pit of your stomach, your forehead creasing to attempt to draw some concentration back from the depths of your mind where your fantasies about her saying that exact word in that exact breathy way linger.

Perhaps your adulation is excessive, but you don't miss the sparkle in her eyes at each compliment you dole. This is your final card, though, and you’re going to play it right, so you forget about the consequences of touching her hand in a darkness room, and simply intertwine your fingers, drawing your noses to meet over the table.

“You've ruined my life, by not being mine,” you profess, ensuring that your hot breath fans over her lips. You can feel her shudder. “And you know there’s nothing I hate more than what I can’t have.”

“I’m all yours if you’ll have me.”

And just like that, the world stops turning around you. Your heart lilts, your mind prattles on about all you want to say, all you want to do. But then it stops. And all of a sudden, you’re intrepid, desperate to ravish her and ruin her for all other women, eager to kiss her voraciously until you can scarcely breathe, yearning to feel her words of reassurance wrap around you, if only she agrees to your proposal over that of the hot bartender.

“Well, I’ve told you what's up, so I guess I'll just stumble on home to my cats. Alone... unless you wanna come along.”

You push away from the table and stand with a slight shrug, turning your back on her, making strides for the door and the storm bristling outside. Only, you barely make it to the door before Liz’s slender hand is wrapped around your arm, and is turning you back to her, tugging you closer, chest to chest, nose to nose.

“Fuck yes, księżniczka. After that, of course I’m coming.”

Your lips meet in a fiery kiss, a desperate battle of will, and her tongue slides over the seam of your lips. You grant her entry with an open mouth, heat skittering over your skin as she holds you tighter, closer, with a deeper urgency you don’t hesitate to match.

Her crystal eyes simmer as she withdraws, her forehead on yours. Her lips brush yours as she breathes, and she grabs your hand, heading out into the night with Liz, at long last.

“For the record, you’re gorgeous and perfect and drive me crazy too. Everything you said tonight, I echo. What can I say?”

You’re gorgeous.

[craigprimrose-blog]

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[downwiththeficness]

A Need So Great-Chapter 13

Summary: Eva Moore is assigned to work the last year of her contract with the DEA in Colombia. She just wants to get to the end of her tenure, but she keeps getting drawn further into a string of murders in the city. It isn’t long before she’s forced to face the ghosts of her past.

Word Count: ~4,400

Warnings: Crime Scene (murder, graphic),

A/N: For the purposes of this story, Carrillo isn’t married--or, if you like, divorced. A/B/O dynamics are prevalent, and they come with their own warning. The overall rating for this story is Explicit, although not every chapter will contain adult themes.

Taglist: @dirtynerdy98 @1zashreena1 @heresathreebee @deliciouslyclassytrash @maybege @kid-from-new-zealand @clydesducktape @revolution-starter @autumnleaves1991-blog @jedi-mando @buckysalefty @anaeve 

Chapters: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 8.5, 9, 10, 10.5, 11, 12, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21

The club was the largest in the city.  Lights were flashing, catching on the smoke rising from the crowd.  Eva threw back the shot and winced, the alcohol burning her throat. Music pounded in her ears, the vibration of the bass hitting her square in the chest.  Connie leaned over and yelled something, but Eva couldn’t hear it.  She looked angry, maybe a little concerned. A second later, she saw the officer.  He was speaking to their assigned body guard for the night, gesturing towards them.

He looked deeply uncomfortable in his uniform, and he was drawing not a few unkind stares.  Connie dragged her out and it wasn’t until they hit the street that Eva could hear her cursing loudly.

“We were supposed to have the night off—She was supposed to have the night off.”

The officer looked remorseful, replying in Spanish. She caught the apology. She also caught Javier’s name. Her interest piqued.

“What’s going on?”

Connie flicked her hair back from her face, hands on her hips, “They want you to come to a crime scene.”

Eva was a little more than shocked, her mouth dropping open, “What? Why?”

She shrugged, “He won’t say.”

Eva rolled her eyes, thinking that this was probably yet another time where Javi needed her eyes. She just wished it hadn’t come at a time when she was just this side of tipsy and on a girl’s night with Connie. Their outings were generally kept to a minimum, the attacks on agents, police, and their family members escalating.

Following the officers, Connie at her side, Eva headed for the jeep parked not far from the club’s entrance, her heels clicking on the pavement.  She really wished she hadn’t taken that last shot. The alcohol ran rampant through her system, and she could feel herself smile at the absurdity, even through the frustration of being called to work when she was supposed to be having fun.

The ride over was tense and almost completely silent, the streetlights passing in a blur as Eva did her best to sober up a little.  She smoothed the wrinkles of her dress, a bright red, flowy thing that swung around her knees as she walked.  She’d picked out a pair of gold high heeled sandals that were impossible to dance in for the specific purpose of being able to complain about her feet so that Connie couldn’t drag her to the dance floor every three minutes.  

When they arrived, it was to what looked like a closed scene.  Connie was asked to stay by the car and Eva was escorted towards the front door of a small office building.  It was nondescript, glass doorway, stone facing.  As she stepped towards the walkway an angry voice called out loudly behind her.

He was livid.  She could see it in the forward cant of his shoulder, in his clenching jaw, in the narrowing of his eyes.  He moved quickly, booted feet sounded across the pavement.  Eva glanced at the office at her elbow and felt not a small bit of pity. Carrillo had obviously not been informed of the invitation she’d been extended. Eva was apparently in breach of several protocols.

What surprised her was that he didn’t yell.  Carrillo spoke in a low, threatening tone that even Eva could understand.  When his head tilted to the side, she knew he’d asked a question and expected and answer pretty fucking fast. The officer stuttered and Eva almost stepped in, physically took a step forward, stopping when he shot her a look of fierce censure.

The door opened behind her and Eva swung around to see Javi walking through it, both hands up, mouth already moving.  He spoke to each of them, hands flexing as he (very likely) explained the situation.  The officer muttered something, and Carrillo hissed a reply that made the officer literally flinch, then scurry away.

“Listen, man, I was going to talk with you,” Javi started, “I just got distracted by…”

He waved towards the doors of the building. Eva followed the movement, curious about what she was about to be walked into.

Carrillo put his hands on his hips, glaring, “She shouldn’t be here.”

Javier rolled his eyes, “She’s got good eyes and we fuckin’ need ‘em.”

Not comfortable with being talked about as if she weren’t hearing it, Eva scoffed, “She is standing in high heels and would like to either get to it, or go home.”

Carrillo’s eyes dropped down, taking in her shoe choice.  Then, his eyes followed the line of her legs to the hem of her skirt, higher to the cinched in waist, sweetheart neckline, and the dainty gold chain around her throat. She preened a little, gratified by the interest sparking in his gaze.

Javi pulled his pack out of his breast pocket, tapping out a cigarette, “This is a bad one, Eva. Really gory shit going on in there.”

Eva thought he was probably forgetting that she’d bludgeoned someone to death and had dealt with that trauma rather effectively. There wasn’t much that could make her truly sick, anymore.

She shrugged, “If its too much, I’ll say so.”

Javi looked from Eva to Carrillo, who sighed, “Fine.”

He walked around Eva and opened the door, gesturing for them to enter. The lobby was elegantly decorated, a plush red carpet, smooth wooden furniture.  Eva followed Carrillo’s steps through a hallway to an office door. He stopped in front of it, looking at Eva seriously.

“You don’t have anything to prove in this room.  If you want to leave, you leave.”

Eva’s heart gave a little hiccup, her mind too curious to see what was in that room to refuse the opportunity to assuage it. She nodded, patting Carrillo’s chest and turning to look at the contents of the room.

Javi was right. This was some seriously gory shit. Eva paused, taking in the scene. Her hands gripped her clutch a little too tightly, the closure digging into the meat of her palm.

Carrillo made a sound of contempt, “Okay, let’s go.”

Eva shook her head, “No, I’m fine. What’s one more for the nightmare file, right?”

She entered the room, the smell of blood immediately assaulting her nose. Careful to follow the mapped out path the officers had created to keep the integrity of the scene, Eva made her way to the body. The room was an office—large, two storied.  A staircase led upwards towards a bookcase that lines three of the four walls on the upper mezzanine. At the back of the room was a large and ornate desk.  Sitting at the desk was a man.

His button up was open to the middle of his chest, his hands braced on the armrests of his chair. His head was tilted back and his throat was slit open, the muscles separated and the tongue pulled through to rest over the gaping wound.  

Eva was glad she’d drank a little that day.  If she hadn’t, she might have turned tail and run. As it was, she merely handed Javi her clutch and picked out two rubber gloves from the box sitting on the floor.  Taking slow, even steps, she circled the desk and leaned over the body.  His eyes were closed, but his mouth had frozen in a pained grimace.

She looked at the wound, “Whoever did this probably has medical experience, maybe a vet.”

Javi pulled his notebook from his back pocket and started scribbling.  Eva glanced around, looking at the desk and the floor.

“They didn’t do it here—or, they laid down plastic.  There’s no blood splatter.”

More scratching of pencil on paper.

The fingers of the right hand were strange, posed so that the first and middle digits were straight out, as if...Eva followed the direction. On the upper floor, there was a space between the bookcases.  In a gilt frame was a painting, or possibly a print of a painting.  Eva was pretty sure the “Birth of Venus” was hanging in a museum somewhere.

Curious, she stepped to the staircase, easing up it carefully in her heels.  

“What is it?” Carrillo called out, his arms crossed over his chest.

“That painting,” Eva answered, already moving towards it. “Its a Botticelli.”

From behind her, Eva could hear Javier give a rough chuckle.  Her attention was on the way the frame was just a little off center, hanging oddly to the left. Leaning in, she noticed a tiny red arrow, pointing towards the frame.  She eyed it, looking for further clues, widening her scope with every pass. Other than the print looking tacky when put into such an expensive frame, Eva couldn’t see anything else out of the ordinary.  She looked at the arrow again. Maybe…

With careful hands, Eva pulled the frame from the wall, setting it aside.  When she looked back at the place where it had been, she wished so fucking hard that she hadn’t touched it.  Drawn in hard, red paint was a large oblong circle, a slash striking through it from the top right to the bottom left.  Stumbling back to the railing, Eva stared at it, feeling tears forming in her eyes.

Swallowing, she tried to take a breath—tried and failed. As if from far away, she could hear her name being called.  Black spots appeared in her vision. She couldn’t get air. Her hands gripped the rail as she fought to stay upright.

This could not be happening. This simply couldn’t happen.  Eva still couldn’t breathe, a croak bleeding out from her throat. Wavering, her vision narrowed to pinpoints, the patterned carpet design swirling. She fell. She fainted.

Waking was a difficult thing. Her eyes felt scratchy, her head hurt. She was staring at the ceiling, a face appearing from her peripheral.

“Eva, talk to me. Are you alright?”

He looked...like he was freaking out. That was to be expected.  She’d just passed out at a crime scene.

“I’m…,” she had been about to say ‘okay’, but that wasn’t true. She was not okay.  She might never be okay.  

Sitting up, Eva scooted back to lean against the rail. Carrillo was on one side of her, Javier on the other, both of them kneeling. She sighed, looking up at the spray painted warning on the wall.

“I have good news and I have bad news,” she said, pushing her hair over her shoulders. “The good news is that I know who your killer is.”

Javier’s brows drew together, “How the fuck do you know that?”

Eva ignored the question, choosing to offer the good news first, “His name is Alexei Volkov, sometimes called “The Russian”, but more notably known as,” she pointed to the wall, “Zero.”

“What kind of name is that?”

Eva worked to stand, saying, “Stands for how many people he’s left alive.”

Next to her, Carrillo hovered, looking unsure as to whether or not he should touch her. His hands curled into fists and released.

“What’s the bad news?”

She swallowed, willing herself to say the words, “The bad news is that you are looking at a dead woman.”

Below, Steve hollered a tentative, “Hello?”

“Up here,” Javier called down, arching over the railing.

Tired, Eva pushed through them and headed down the staircase, walking through the room and sitting on one of the low stools near the door.

“What happened to you?” Steve asked, his voice an amiable drawl.

“Oh, you know,” Eva joked, “Just coming face to face with my own mortality.”

“What does that mean?” Horacio asked, standing nearby, his spine straight and alert.

Eva her head in her hands because she couldn’t look at any of them when she told this story, “Zero was one of Josh’s hitmen. He was brutal, efficient, and stupidly patient.  He could wait out a mark for months, as long as there wasn’t a deadline.” She pulled her toes towards her shins, relieving some of the pressure on her feet from the heels, “He was also Josh’s best friend. They spent every waking minute together, when Zero wasn’t out on a job. He was fucking everywhere.”

There were many nights Zero sat patiently in the den while Josh did whatever he was going to do to her, sometimes he watched. Most of the time, he got up and left. Passive acceptance that, if Josh couldn’t hurt her, he’d end up making some idiotic decision that would affect the influence of their trade, something Zero would have to clean up. Zero wasn’t a fan of cleaning up Josh’s messes.

She closed her eyes, trying to keep the tears from falling, “And, he was such a fucking drama queen—liked to taunt his victims, let them know he was coming for them beforehand. That’s what this,” she pointed to the wall above them, “Is about. He’s letting me know that the family has finally called in the hit on me.”

There was a beat of silence, Eva still unable to look at them.

And then Javier said, “Fuck.”

She pointed blindly at him, “Very succinct. And accurate. He’s been following me since I got here, at least. Possibly before I even left the states.”

Lifting her head, she chanced a glance at Horacio. She could see the wheels turning in his head.  He was working through this, and she knew he was already forming a plan. Her heart hurt for the fact that she would definitely have to thwart it. Zero didn’t let people get in the way of his target. She didn’t know what she would do if he became collateral damange.

“There’s one thing I don’t understand,” she said slowly.

“One thing?” Steve asked, his voice high.

She stood, eyes glancing around the room, “He couldn’t be sure that I would find the mark, he wouldn’t know that you’d call me down here.  What he would do is make sure the message got delivered, one way or another.”

The move with the painting was artistic and flamboyant, but kind of a gamble.  Eva looked at the body. This kind of dissection wasn’t his bag.  He usually used guns, or poison if he needed to, knives if he needed to be quiet. This was too much work.  Squinting, Eva approached him, her hand reaching out for the wound.  Biting back the bile, she lifted the tongue. Yeah. There it was. With her other hand, she pushed her fingers into the throat, grasping the little container and pulling it free.

With half a turn, she held it up, “Steve, can you get these developed quickly?”

He was already opening up a plastic evidence bag, “I know a guy.”

And then she was left staring at Carrillo and Javier.  Eva pulled off the glove of one hand, balling it up in the other, and pulling the glove of the other hand over top, throwing them into a designated waste bin. She moved out of the room without another word, her mind already working through the options.

She could get home, get packed, and be out of the country in less than six hours.  Mentally, she was already going through her belongings to identify what was essential.

A hand caught her arm, stopping her. Eva turned on her heels, looking up at Horacio’s concerned face.

“Where are you going?”

She shrugged, “I have to pack.”

He frowned, “You’re going to run?”

Eva nodded.

“Won’t that break your contract?”

Shit, she’d forgotten about that. She debated the pros and cons—she’d have to keep running, both from Zero and from the US government.  In for a penny…

“No,” he said with finality, “You’re not leaving.”

Eva lifted a brow, “I’m not?”

He shook his head, taking her arm and leading her out of the building, “We’ll go to your apartment and pick up a few items.  I’ll make some calls while you pack.”

She blinked up at him while she walked, following him out to the truck. He hoisted her inside, closing the door and moving around to the driver’s side. Quick, calm, effective. It wasn’t until that engine turned over that she spoke.

“I assume you have a plan in mind,” Eva drawled, feeling just a little bit ireful. The logical part of her kept yelling that she had to put distance between them, that she had to beg as far away as possible. And yet, here she was, going along with him.

He gave one sharp nod, “There’s a safe house deep in the forest.  I’ll take you there.”

She scoffed, “Oh, sure, isolated safe house in the middle of nowhere. He’d snipe me from the trees.”

Carrillo shot her a glare that could have curdled dairy, “Its surrounded by a rock face on three sides.  Just one entrance in and out. From what you said in there, this is personal. He’s going to want to get his hands dirty—no distance kills.”

He was goddamn right. Eva felt herself scowl.

“That still leaves the trees. He’s not stupid, and he could wait us out. You can’t stay there for months on end—you have a job to do.”

“I have an omega to protect,” he countered, hands tightening on the wheel.

God, that felt good to hear.  Eva had to full body tackle the impulse to touch him, to relay how grateful she felt.

“You don’t have to,” she whispered, torn. “I can just...go. Slip out of the county—I probably have some contacts I could get ahold of, to cover my tracks.”

He made a sound that Eva couldn’t quite place, a strangled groan of deep distaste.  His hands turned the wheel, his feet applying the brakes, until they slowed to a stop on the side of the road.  

Turning to look at her, he asked, “Is that what you want to do? Leave?”

She croaked, “I want to live.”

This was a new feeling for her. Eva had spent more than half of her life either wanting it to end or existing solely for the benefit for another. And, now, when she was so close to being able to make her own choices in all things, she was faced with the realization of her own imminent demise.

Horacio cup her cheek, his thumb pressing to the little divot below her lower lip, “I’m gonna make sure that happens. Trust me.”

She wanted to. Eva wanted to trust in him more than she’d wanted anything in her entire life.  

“He’ll kill you,” she muttered, “Just to get to me.”

This was the truth. Zero had no qualms with taking out obstacles to his targets. He’d once systematically offed an entire bloodline over the course of a year in order to eliminate a fierce competitor of Josh’s.

Horacio smiled, “You think he’s the first hitman I’ve ever had to deal with?”

Involuntarily, she smiled, “With all due respect, this isn’t your typical hitman. He’s Russian, and therefore bat-shit crazy.”

Mouth quirking, he replied, “Then, he’ll fit right in with the others.”

“Horacio,” she pleaded, “I’m serious. He is dangerous.”

Taking both of her hands, he laid a kiss on both, his thumbs rubbing over them, “So am I.”

And that was that. He took her to her apartment and led her to the door, a gun in his hand and his eyes scanning for danger. Standing at the door, she watched him sweep the apartment before he let her more than two feet inside. Leaning against the wall, she smiled at him, warmed by the way he took no risks.

After he’d cleared each room, Eva dropped her clutch by the door and headed for the bedroom, tapping her answering machine as she went by.

You have one new message: “Hello, Eva.”

She froze, eyes closing as a voice from her distant past sounded in her ears.

“I hope you’ve enjoyed your reprieve,” he said, his accent thick over the modulated line, “I hope you’re ready to face the consequences of your actions. I’ll see you soon, Birdie.”

Birdie. Josh had called her that for most of their marriage, the moniker so prevalent that most of his men called her that, too. She hated it. Just hearing the name made her feel like she was fourteen again, crying and shaking because she was so God damned scared of the man she’d married.

Her name sounded—her actual name. Eva opened her eyes, staring blankly at the hallway ahead. He said her name again, and she blinked, breathing deeply.

“I’m gonna pack,” she said, stepping forward, her shoulders set. “I’ll be quick.”

And, she was. Eva put her entire life into three bags—her clothes, a few pieces of jewelry she cherished, her toiletries. It all fit into such a small amount of space that it reminded her how much she hadn’t set roots down—always moving, always leaving things behind. Quickly, she changed out of her dress and heels, setting them inside the closet.  She wouldn’t be needing them, not in the near future.

Movement sounded at the door, Horacio was tentatively stepping inside the room, “Are you ready?”

She nodded, pulling the bags up from the bed and hoisting one over her shoulder, “I’m ready.”

He spared her only a momentary glance before he was walking her out of the apartment building to his truck. From there, they drove maybe an hour, winding through the city, taking turn after turn, until they had to stop for gas.

While they waited for the attendant, Eva kept her gaze out through the window, “What about you?”

He hummed in question.

“Do you have to get your things?”

Horacio shook his head, “Trujillo is stopping by my place. He’ll meet us at the gate.”

And then they were back on the road, driving for almost two more hours in a winding path. Eva had recognized about thirty minutes in that he was checking for a tail. She thought he was doing a pretty good job of either annoying the shit out of them or losing them entirely. When they made it out of the city, the road got narrower, and it would have been very clear if someone was following them.  As it was, everything around them was dark.

The forest got thicker, crowding around them and blocking out the moonlight overhead.  Eva chewed on her thumbnail, not liking that their field of vision was so diminished. After a while, they came to an iron gate.  He pulled off the road and hopped out, gesturing for her to follow. From the bed of the truck, he pulled out her bags, setting them on the side of the road.

“Well,” he said, hands on his hips, “You’re going to get your wish.”

Eva shot him a confused look.

“We’re going to have to hike.”

Headlights appears from over the hill, coming from where they had driven in. Horacio pushed her back behind the treeline, pulling his pistol and waiting until a figure stepped out of the car.

“Carrillo!”

Next to her, Horacio relaxed, holstering his weapon, “Aquí.”

They talked for a moment, Trujillo handing off a large duffel to the other man. Eva kept her eyes on the world around her, listening for anything that might signal danger.

“We need to move,” Horacio urged, swinging his bag over his shoulder and picking up one of hers.

Looking between the two vehicles, Eva flicked out her fingers, “Won’t the truck be a dead giveaway.”

He nodded, “Trujillo will take care of it. Means we’ll be pretty much stuck up there. I’ve got supplies coming in by air tomorrow.”

She stared at him, her mouth wide fucking open in shock. When did he have the time to...how did he manage?

Pulling the bag further up onto his shoulder, he nodded to the trail, “C’mon.”

Eva mirrored him, hoisting one bag over a shoulder and carrying the other. The path wasn’t well trod, overgrown. Eva stumbled a few times, but kept pace with him as he soldiered through the brush, sweat running over her brow. They’d gone maybe a mile before the path widened drastically.  In the moonlight stood a small cabin, two stories, inviting porch. Behind it, and all around Eva could see the drop off, could hear the roll of waves.  He’d taken her clear to the ocean.

After keying in, they set their bags down in the living room, the furniture covered in sheets of varying colors.  Eva watched as he turned on a light and kicked on the air. Then, the turned her attention to the cabin, itself.

Calling it a cabin was, perhaps, not accurate.  It was a house, decorated elegantly—hardwood floors, smooth copper fixtures, splashes of bright colors here and there.

“This is...not what I imagined a safe house would be.”

He smiled, approached and taking one of her hands to lead her deeper inside, “Its a family home, on my mother’s side.”

Eva stopped, “This belongs to your family.”

Looking back, he nodded, tugging her along.

“Horacio,” Eva bit out, suddenly angry, “This would be public record. He’ll find it, and he will come here.”

His smile, when it came, was not genial, “I’m counting on it.”

“The fuck does that mean?” She pulled away, leaving them standing there, looking at each other, in dim light. Crossing her arms, she waited for an answer.

“Follow me,” he prompted, already moving down the hall again.

Against her better judgment, she did.  He led her down to what she was pretty sure was the master bedroom. It was large, windows lining one wall, a massive bed pushed against them.  Carrillo walked to a small nook in the corner and pressed one hand against it. A fucking secret door.

Eva closed her eyes, trying to quell some of her anger, before she stepped forward and through it. A small cot, a desk, and a large bureau were all that were inside. He opened the bureau and showed her a considerable stock of guns and ammunition.

“The walls are padded with three inch steel. There is an auxiliary power source and several days of rations.”

Eva’s gaze narrowed, “Its a panic room.”

She was suddenly reminded that he’d been living under the threat of assassination for a long time, and had probably had this contingency plan set up for himself, should the time come.

He nodded, “When he comes, you’ll be in here, and I’ll deal with him.”

The words caught so hard in her throat that her voice cracked, “And if he kills you.”

Stepping into her space, her pinched her chin between his thumb and forefinger, “Then, you deal with him.”

[miniaturetalecrown]

Hetalia Character Profiles - Scotland

Character Name: Scotland. Mhairi Eilidh McDougall (858-1295), Mhairi Eilidh McDougall-Bonnefoy (1295-present), Ri (by Shannon, Dylan, Alfred, Jake, and Rachel), Cherie (by Francis), Mum/Mother (by Matthew).

Age: Human - Baby, toddler, and child (500s-858), Teenager (858-1500), Appears 18 by 1500, 26 in the modern day.

Height: 5”6 (167cm).

Physical Description: Average height, Mhairi is the second shortest of her siblings, being only an inch taller than her older sister, Shannon (Ireland), and being shorter than both Dylan (Wales) and Arthur (England). Mhairi has a strong hourglass figure with broad shoulders.

Eye Colour: Emerald green.

Hair Colour/Style: Long dark red messy curls, Mhairi often has her hair up in ponytails and buns to keep her hair out of her face. Mhairi’s hair is also very thick and gets everywhere.

Other Physical Traits: Freckles all over her face and body. Mhairi also has her ears pierced, a nose stud, a tongue piercing, a Celtic tattoo on her left leg, a thistle tattoo on her right arm, and a Scottish unicorn tattoo on her back. Mhairi doesn’t have the infamous Kirkland eyebrows like Dylan and Arthur.

Personal Appearance/Style: Mhairi wears a lot of black, blues, reds, and purples. Mhairi’s wardrobe is full of comfy t-shirts, jumpers, a couple of kilts, pencil skirts, and dresses. Mhairi only wears dresses and skirts for meetings and special occasions.

Verbal Style: Mhairi speaks with a broad Scots accent. Mhairi also speaks Scottish Gaelic and Scots as well as English.

Education: Mhairi is well-educated and even taught Alfred (America), Matthew (Canada), Jake (Australia), and Rachel (New Zealand) when they were young.  Mhairi has a degree in nursing and a degree in midwifery that she earned in the 1920s.

Occupation: Diplomat. Mhairi in her spare time, works as a nurse. During the pandemic, Mhairi worked as a nurse to help ease the strain on the health service.

Past Occupations: A military nurse, a military officer during the Second World War, and a teacher.

Skills, Abilities or Talents: Mhairi is a talented dancer and enjoys traditional Highland dancing, including sword dancing. Mhairi is also a talented artist and paints landscapes in her spare time with Francis (France). Mhairi also enjoys baking and often bakes cakes, Scottish tablet, and biscuits.

Positive Personality Treats: Friendly, an animal lover, compassionate, and outdoorsy.

Negative Personality Traits: Stubborn and can be hot-headed.

Sense of Humour: Sarcastic, dark, and witty.

Physical/Mental Illnesses or Afflictions: Mhairi was badly affected by the failures of the Jacobite risings in 1715 and 1745, as well as the aftermath when her culture was outlawed. Mhairi has never fully forgiven Arthur for what happened during the period. In 1700, Mhairi lost her younger child, Lachlann (New Caledonia/Darien), after the Scottish colony in modern-day Panama failed. The loss of her child deeply affected Mhairi, and it still affects her.

Hobbies/Interests: Dancing, baking, painting, singing, playing bagpipes, and hiking.

Favourite Foods: Haggis, macaroni pies, and stovies.

Most Important Personal Items: Her sapphire engagement ring, her family photo albums, and her collection of Scottish artworks.

Person/Friend Close to Character: Her older sister and best friend, Shannon. Mhairi and Shannon are the closest siblings of the British Isles and often spend time together, usually hiking. Mhairi tries to visit Shannon at least once a month, and Shannon will also try to visit Mhairi. The sisters share a lot of history together, and they can both speak Irish and Scottish Gaelic, as the languages are similar. The two were Suffragettes in the 1900s and 1910s, along with Rachel, and all three often went to protests around the UK.

Background: Mhairi was born around the 500s AD to Caledonia and Brittannia. Mhairi is the second eldest of four and the youngest daughter. Mhairi is close to Shannon and Dylan but has a strained relationship with Arthur after he invaded her in the 1290s, but it wasn’t until the 1700s that their relationship hit an all-time low. In October 1295, Mhairi married Francis, and the two formed an alliance; they married as they were both at war with Arthur at the time. In 1621, Mhairi gave birth to her firstborn, Matthew, with Shannon as her midwife.

[kayliemusing]

42: top 3s

1: Top 3 ice cream flavors - classic vanilla, birthday cake/birthday batter, bubblegum

2: Top 3 Disney Movies - Mulan, Onward, Soul (but this changes frequently lol)

3: Top 3 vacation destinations - I've never been outside of my home country so I'll say my top 3 DREAM destinations: NYC, Hawaii, a random countryside in either France or the UK

4: Top 3 places to shop - Dynamite, Sephora, Winners/Homesense

5: Top 3 subjects of study/classes to take - English/anything creative writing related, Interior Decorating/Design, Communications?

6: Top 3 make up products - YSL Touche Eclat Foundation, literally any Mac Lipstick but it has to be matte, & Fenty Beauty contour stick

7: Top 3 music artists - Taylor Swift - Of Monsters and Men - The Lumineers

8: Top 3 spices/herbs - Cinnamon - Nutmeg (literally tastes like autumn) - Paprika

9: Top 3 drinks - Diet Coke - Hot Chocolate - Vanilla Bean Frappe

10: Top 3 apps to use - Instagram - Pinterest -iBooks

11: Top 3 months of the year - May, October, December

12: Top 3 clothing items - My black/white turtle neck, high waisted jeans, plaid blazer

13: Top 3 binge perfect tv shows - Bones, Supernatural, Brooklyn Nine Nine

14: Top 3 romantic dates - (I've never been on a date but if I had, it would be this) Evening walk, late night drive, late night coffee date (tbh anything at night feels romantic)

15: Top 3 kinds of flower - Water lilies, cherry blossoms, roses

16: Top 3 christmas movies - A Christmas Carol (2009), Home Alone, The Polar Express

17: Top 3 OTPs - Nesta and Cassian from ACOTAR series by SJM, Manon and Dorian from Throne of Glass series by SJM, Casteel and Poppy from From Blood and Ash series by JLM.

18: Top 3 quotes to describe your life - "I write not to find, but to leave" by Scherezade Siobhan - "I want to be myself again. I want to be six. I want to stop knowing everything I know" by Catherynne M. Valente - "The truth is, I pretend to be a cynic, but I am really a dreamer who is terrified of wanting something she may never get" by Joanna Hoffman.

19: Top 3 characteristics you love about yourself - my kindness bc it's not surface level kindness, but actually something deeply rooted within me - my resilience even tho sometimes it doesn't feel like resilience - my loyalty bc it is a hard as steel kind of loyalty

20: Top 3 kinds of candy - Maltesers, Kit kats, smarties

21: Top 3 ways to exercise/ be active - Walking, dancing, mowing the lawn/shoveling the sidewalk

22: Top 3 spirit animals - wolf, hummingbird, tiger (i googled it bc i didn't know and i was scared it was a joke but)

23: Top 3 petnames - I like 'lovebug', 'love', 'sweetheart'

24: Top 3 books read outside of school - The Hating Game by Sally Thorne, A Court of Silver Flames by Sarah J Maas but viewers discretion is advised, Crush by Richard Siken

25: Top 3 most used websites - Youtube, Tumblr, Pinterest

26: Top 3 people you last texted - my mom, my bestie megan, and my sister bc they're the only people i text...

27: Top 3 hashtags you use - the only time i use hashtags is if i'm trying to promote some of my writing so I'll usually use writingcommunity, writersonig, poetryonig lol

28: Top 3 instagram accounts you follow - Trista Mateer, Griefmother, obviously taylor swift

29: Top 3 guilty pleasures - buzzfeed quizzes, early 2000s music, romance novels

30: Top 3 summer activities - Going to the zoo, long evening walks, campfires and s'mores

31: Top 3 things to draw/doodle - hearts, flowers, random swirls bc it's the only thing i can doodle...

32: Top 3 aesthetics - cityscape aesthetic, autumn aesthetic, rustic aesthetic

33: Top 3 things you'd buy if you gained three million dollars - a new car, a condo, another cat

34: Top 3 ways to treat yourself - facial, a large bag of maltesers, buying the makeup i really want but have been putting off

35: Top 3 celebrity crushes - Evan Peters, Matthew Daddario, henry cavill

36: Top 3 books from your childhood - Love You Forever by Robert Munsch, The Big Friendly Giant by Roald Dahl, and Madeline by Ludwig Bemelmens

37: Top 3 accents to hear - Australian, super poshy british accent, new zealand accent

38: Top 3 scents - Fresh rain, vanilla, sweet cinnamon pumpkin from bath and body works

39: Top 3 "Friends" quotes - "WE WERE ON A BREAK" -Ross, "Guess things were just going too well for me" -also ross, and "it's so exhausting waiting for death" - phoebe

40: Top 3 cupcake flavors - tbh I haven't tried that many cupcakes so your typical vanilla, chocolate, and Pink Lady Cupcake from Babycakes Cupcakery

41: Top 3 fruits - Pomegranates, Strawberries, Raspberries

42: Top 3 places you've had amazing pizza from - Pizzahut, Dominos, Pizza73

43: Top 3 sports teams to watch - i don't

44: Top 3 crayola colors - uh, i guess red, purple, and pink??

45: Top 3 things you hope to accomplish in college - Certificates/Degrees in Copyediting and Creative Writing, and I think simply just deeper critical thinking skills when it comes to writing and books

46: Top 3 fanfictions you've read - I read more books than fanfics, I've read a couple on tumblr but don't remember the names sorry :/

47: Top 3 people you miss right now - my dad, my best friend bc she's in vancouver, taylor swift bc she's not on tumblr anymore rip

48: Top 3 fears - Failure, Loss, not achieving anything in life/not reaching my full potential

49: Top 3 favorite literary devices - Foreshadowing is always god tier, cliffhangers although evil i love those too, symbolism

50: Top 3 pet peeves - People dragging their shoes on the floor when they walk, when you tell someone your fav hobby/music artist/interest and they immediately go 'oh I hate X!', and people who go 'you're so quiet!!!' but in a way that draws in more attention and/or makes me feel more uncomfortable like i would literally rather die

51: Top 3 physical things you find attractive - Hands, nice hair, defined jawlines

52: Top 3 bad habits - Nailbiting, picking at my blemishes oops, lip biting

53: Top 3 pets you've had/wish to have - Cats bc they complete me, I've always wanted a Samoyed, and I've always wanted a turtle

54: Top 3 types of foreign food - Chicken Chow Mein, deep fried shrimp, japanese chicken wings

55: Top 3 things you want to say to someone in your lifetime - 'I quit', 'I love you', 'you changed my life'

56: Top 3 dog breeds - Samoyed, german shepherds, collies

57: Top 3 cheesy romance movies - You've Got Mail, How To Lose a Guy In 10 Days, 10 Things I Hate About You

58: Top 3 languages you speak/wish to speak - French, Sign, and maybe Japanese?

59: Top 3 series (book, movie, television) - The Cruel Prince series by Holly Black, A Court of Thorns and Roses by Sarah J Maas (but literally only for Cassian and Nesta), From Blood and Ash by Jennifer L Armentrout

60: Top 3 pizza toppings - Mushrooms, alfredo sauce, pineapple

61: Top 3 youtubers you're subscribed to - Game Grumps, Charlotte Dobre, Megan Batoon

62: Top 3 tattoo / piercing ideas - I want to get a tattoo on my wrist of the last thing my dad ever wrote me, a hummingbird tattoo right next to it, and then a cross on my index finger

63: Top 3 awards you want to win - National Book Awards, Nobel Prize, and maybe even Goodreads Choice Awards lol

64: Top 3 emojis - Laugh/Crying emoji, the please sir emoji that kinda gives off those puss n boots eyes, and the stars emoji

65: Top 3 cars you dream of owning - 1970s Chev Impala, tbh a cute little Hyundai Venue, and maaaaybe the 1964 ferarri 250 gt luso (idk if that name was totally right but i had to do tons of googling to find it. i don't know a lot about cars and i don't really have a top 3 lol)

66: Top 3 authors - Right now I'm really into Sarah J Maas, Sally Thorne, and Holly Black maybe?

67: Top 3 historical figures - Jesus, Anne Frank, Vincent Van Gogh

68: Top 3 baby names - Ryder, Leila, Gracie

69: Top 3 DIYs - Candles, refurnishing old furniture (i.e. my mom and i painted our wooden garbage can), and really just any type of autumn diy

70: Top 3 smoothie combos/flavors - Strawberry/Banana, Mango, Strawberry-Mango

71: Top 3 songs of this month - Happier Than Ever by Billie Eilish, Biblical by Calum Scott, and Visiting Hours by Ed Sheeran

72: Top 3 questions of this post you want to be asked - I did them all bc I made it a survey instead of an ask meme ;)

73: Top 3 villains - Regina/The Evil Queen from Once Upon a Time, Cruella De Vil, and Moriarty from Sherlock

74: Top 3 Cities you want to see - Montreal, NYC, Vancouver (honorable mention: LA)

75: Top 3 recipes you want to try - different kind of salad and/or burger bowls, Stuffed bell peppers, and homemade lemon loaf

76: Top 3 dream jobs - Bestselling author, the person who runs a companies social media accounts, youtuber/blogger

77: Top 3 lucky items - tbh don't have one

78: Top 3 traditions you have - Christmas Eve Service and if I don't go to that at least incorporating reading the christmas story on christmas day or eve, idk if this counts as tradition but going to the corn maze every fall, and whenever it's easter/christmas/thanksgiving we always have a big meal w/ family

79: Top 3 things you miss about being a kid - reckless abandon, dreaming about growing up with hopefulness and no dashed hopes, experiencing holidays like halloween and christmas as a kid

80: Top 3 harry potter characters - I've never read or watched Harry Potter rip (ok well i saw the first and second (and maybe third?) movie in the sixth grade I think) but I think I really liked Hermoine, Harry obviously and Dobby

81: Top 3 lies you were told - i don't have 3, but this one has a story but basically when my sister and i were in elementary school my sister got hit by a car and so the insurance thing was that she would recieve 10k when she was 18 and as a child i thought that was unfair so my dad told me that my sister had to split it with me when we were 18 lmao obviously that didn't happen (i think i realized that wasn't true in middle school)

82: Top 3 pictures in your camera roll right now - Pictures of my cat, one of my sister in a hilarious filter, and a picture of my rocking my TS merch

83: Top 3 turn ons - Kindness, defined jawline, easy going

84: Top 3 turn offs - arrogance, unkempt, super loud and obnoxious

85: Top 3 magazines/news papers/ journals to read - I don't read much of those so I'll tell you some sites I love for writing purpose's: there's Wellstoried, justwriterlythings, springhole.net (which is filled with generators if you're stuck and also tons of infomation and advice)

86: Top 3 things you wish you had known earlier - that toad in Mario Party was wearing a mushroom hat and that it is actually not his head, that immaculate means 'clean' before i misused that word like several times over the years, and that the one turn i always take on my way to work where i thought everyone didn't know how to drive was actually bc i didn't have the right of way rip me

87: Top 3 spongebob episodes - the one episode where spongebob and patrick find a ghost ship, that one episode where they form a bikini bottom band and perform it at a football game in a little fish tank, and the one episode where squidward has his first snowball fight

88: Top 3 places to be in the world - I'd love to be in NYC, Montreal, or Hawaii

89: Top 3 things you'd do differently - I would not have applied for RDC, similarly I should have just paid the 500 dollars to the one certificate program I wanted to do instead of overthinking it, and I wish I wouldn't have ended a friendship the way I did

90: Top 3 TV shows from your childhood - Spongebob Squarepants, That's So Raven, and Hannah Montana

91: Top 3 meals you love - Turkey Burgers, Chilli, and Instant Pot Chicken Tortilla Soup

92: Top 3 kinds of tea - i don't drink tea

93: Top 3 embarrassing moments - one time in sixth grade I tripped and fell right on my face in front of my crush, this other time like a couple years ago i opened the door to my car and only realized much too late while i was staring at this random family that it was not my car, and when i went to the gas station to get gas and couldn't get my gas lid on my car opened and this guy had to help me which was already embarrassing enough but then the gas pump wouldn't work so i had to go inside to pay just to realize i forgot my wallet and had to shamefully walk back to my car and then run back inside the convenience store and then pay and then walk back to my car and finally fill my tank.

94: Top 3 holidays to celebrate - Christmas, Halloween, Thanksgiving

95: Top 3 things to do in the rain - have an existential crisis, pretend you're in a music video, walk through puddles like you're six again

96: Top 3 things to do in the snow - Sledding, Build a snowman, shovel it even tho you don't want to

97: Top 3 items you can't leave the house w/o - phone, keys, wallet

98: Top 3 movies you'd like to see - Jurassic World 3, Hotel Transylvania: Transformania bc i'm a child, and the animation of the addams family

99: Top 3 art mediums - Writing fiction/poetry, painting, music

100: Top 3 museums you've been to - Royal Tyrell Museum, Canadian History one in edmonton lol, and heritage park in calgary

101: Top 3 school memories - Middle school dances when the popular kids would grind to the song "Low" which was always an interesting experience, in the twelfth grade at winter formal when we all shouted "SHUT UP AND DANCE!" at the same time when they played Shut Up and Dance, and the day i left

102: Top 3 things you don't/Won't miss - School, my sisters ex, 2016 bc she was a rough year yikes

103: Top 3 pick up lines - "My name is Will. God's Will.", "I'd like to take you to the movies but they don't like you bring your own snacks", "are you from tennessee bc you're the only 10 i see"

104: Top 3 sports to watch - none of them

105: Top 3 taylor swift songs - all too well - exile - coney island

[jadelotusflower]

June 2021 Roundup

It's been a month of highs and lows. Every year my city holds a cabaret festival, and I've seen some truly amazing acts over the years - including Lea Salonga, Kristin Chenoweth, and Indina Menzel. This year's Artistic Director was the great Alan Cumming, and although due to covid he didn't quite get to curate the program he wanted to, the opening night Gala was still a highlight, as was Alan's DJ set at the pop-up Club Cumming afterwards, where there was much singing at the top of my lungs and dancing to pop anthems and theatre tunes. At one point Alan, dressed in a onesie and perched on the shoulders of a man wearing only sparkly short shorts, was carried around the dance floor while Circle of Life blared. Reader, I was delighted.

I was also able to see his solo show Alan Cumming Is Not Acting His Age, which was hilarious and damn, he can sing!

As for the low, I was meant to fly to Sydney for the weekend to see Hamilton, a trip I have been looking forward to for almost a year, but had to be cancelled because of a covid outbreak and border closures. The tickets have been rescheduled, but I'm still kind of bummed about it (while completely appreciating the need for covid safety, especially when our vaccine rollout has been completely botched by our incompetent, corrupt federal government)

Anyway.

Reading

The Hundred and One Dalmations (Dodie Smith) - With all the bewilderment over Disney's Cruella, I decided to revisit the original novel which I first read as a kid. It's funny, I had very vivid memories of this book, or rather thought I did, particularly the scene where Roger and Anita have dinner at Cruella's house that fixed in my young mind as utterly disturbing with all this devil imagery and the implication Cruella was literally some kind of demon, which must have been either a) my overactive imagination or b) an illustration, because it's not as clear as I thought it was. The strangeness is there (food with too much pepper, Cruella's inability to keep warm, the walls painted blood red) but not the explicit demon imagery I had remembered. There is a part later in the book recounting the history of Hell Hall and the rumors of Cruella's ancestor streaking out of the place conjuring blue lightening, but clearly child me was reading far more into the book than was on the page.

But I still wish they'd gone with this version of Cruella's backstory, because to me an aristocratic, ink-drinking, heat-obsessed, possibly-demon spawn, high camp villain is more interesting and rings far more true than plucky punk against the establishment.

Smith clearly had Facts About Dalmations to share, and she does really craft a wonderful animal-based story that the Disney animated film is largely faithful to. Key differences include: Roger's occupation (he doesn't have to pay tax because he wiped out government debt somehow?!?), Pongo's mate and the puppy's mother is called Missis, Perdita is another dalmation who acts as a kind of doggie wet nurse, Roger and Anita both have Nannies who come to live with them (Nanny Butler and Nanny Cook), Cruella is married to a furrier (who changed his last name to de Vil). Also odd, on her first description Cruella is described as having "dark skin" but later in the novel her "white face" is mentioned, so I'm chalking it up to 50's descriptors not having the same meanings they do today.

The Duke and I (Julia Quinn) - After being just whelmed by the tv series, I wasn't really planning on reading the books, but I saw this on the top picks shelf at the library and damn, the top picks shelf is irresistible. This is very much Daphne's book (and I had known each in the series dealt with the different sibling) so many of the characters and much of the plot of the show is absent, as are some of the more baffling elements of the show like the Diamond of the First Water nonsense, which I always thought was a strange character choice in that it stacks the deck for Daphne when her character arc is better served as somewhat of an underdog (in her third season, the kind of girl who is liked but not adored), and the Prince subplot which was always far too OTT even for soapy regency romance.

It's a breezy, fun read (that scene excepted), even if the misunderstandings are contrived and I'm never going to take "I'll never have kids because I hate my dad" as a credible romantic obstacle deserving of so much angst.

Faeries (Brian Froud and Alan Lee) - A lovingly detailed and illustrated compendium of Faerie and its inhabitants, drawing from a range of European (but primarily Celtic) folklore and mythology. Froud was a conceptual designer on The Dark Crystal and Labyrinth, and the link is clear in the art as well as the focus on faeries as mysterious but oftimes sinister beings, where human encounters with them rarely end well. Lee has illustrated several publications of Tolkien's novels, and was a lead concept artists for Peter Jackson's Lord of the Rings and Hobbit trilogies, and there is a touch of Middle Earth here as well, or rather the common inspiration of the old world. A useful resource for my novel!

Watching

The Handmaid's Tale (season 4, episodes 4-8) SPOILERS - So when I last wrote about this show in the Roundup, I was complaining it wasn't going anywhere. Well, I'm happy to be wrong because they finally changed things up with June finally escaping to Canada. That part of the plot following the survivors and their trauma has always been far more compelling than Gilead, and so it was a welcome development even if I side-eye some of the choices (none of these characters is seeing an actual licensed therapist why?).

This show has always been difficult to watch given the subject matter, and that has not changed after the shift in power dynamics. I will give the show credit for showing a broad range of trauma responses, from Moira wanting to move on and not let it consume her, to June, a ball of rage and revenge on a downward spiral, to Emily, trying to follow Moira's path but being drawn to June's, to Luke, trying his best but utterly unequipped to deal with what is happening.

But it is very hard to watch June go down this path - raping her husband (I concede the show perhaps didn't intend for it to be rape, but that's what is on screen and framing it as just "taking away Luke's agency" doesn't change that), wishing death on Serena's unborn child, and orchestrating Fred's brutal murder by particulation, then holding her own daughter still covered in his blood and it getting smeared on Nicole's face (an unsubtle metaphor in a series full of unsubtle metaphors).

There are interesting questions being asked of the viewer, and the show (perhaps rightly) not giving any answers. I can certainly appreciate the catharsis of Fred getting what he deserves even if I personally find the manner of it horrifying, but where is the line between justice and revenge, is revenge the only option when justice is denied, when does a trauma release become cyclical violence/abuse - the show is, for now, letting the viewer decide.

Soul (dir. Pete Docter and Kemp Powers) - In a world full of remakes/reboots/sequels, Pixar is perhaps the lone segment under the Disney umbrella committed to original content. However, there does seem to be a Pixar formula at work directed to precision tugging the heart strings, and some of the film feels like well-trod ground. On the other hand, it's hard to criticise the risk of centering a kids film around the existential crisis of a middle aged man, even with the requisite cutesy elements (and of course, the uncomfortable pattern of yet another film where the black lead character spends a great deal of the runtime in non-human form - herein, an amorphous blob or a cat). But the animation is stunning, it successfully did tug my heart strings, and the design of the Great Before and the Jerrys is original and fun.

RuPaul's Drag Race Down Under - Drag Race is somewhat of a guilty pleasure for me, since I generally don't watch reality shows, and this is something I really enjoy even if I'm not invested in the fandom (which like many fandoms can be very yikes). This year it was time for the Australian/New Zealand (Aotearoa) queens to show their stuff, although it's been met with mixed reactions. Covid restrictions didn't allow for guest judges, relegating them to mere cameos via video calls, and its clear that Ru and Michelle really don't quite get all the cultural nuances - Aussie judge Rhys Nicholson was however always delightful. But it wouldn't be Australia without a racism scandal, with the great disappointment of the two queens of colour eliminated first, and one queen having done blackface in the recent past yet making it all the way to the top four.

In the end, the only viable and deserving winner was last Kiwi standing Kita Mean, and it was pure joy to see her get crowned. I do hope they fix the bugs and indeed do another season to better showcase AU/NZ talent.

Writing

A far more productive month - to try and get out of my writing funk I had a goal to try and write every day, even if it was only 100 words. While I didn't quite achieve a consecutive month, I did get a pretty good average, at least got something posted and two others nearly there.

The Lady of the Lake - 2441 words, Chapter 4 posted.

Against the Dying of the Light - 2745 words

Turn Your Face to the Sun - 1752 words.

Here I Go Again - 1144 words

Total words this month: 8082

Total words this year: 35,551

[thedoctor1002]

Idk, I never posted one of my fics here but guess I'll try ~

Also, English is not my first language so feel free to correct me QwQ

Fandom: Psycho-Pass -season 1- (is this still a thing?)

Characters: Kogami Shinya, Sasayama Mitsuru, OC

Prompt (it was in Italian, so I'll translate): write a story using three among these words: cloud, dusk, thunderstorm, storm, hull, bay, shelter, sail, night

Title: Log date: 2110/02/28 (Friday) 22:04

---

The lights of the bay flicker dynamically before your eyes.

They dance hypnotically, of the same cyan colour of your office’s walls, but with a whole different beat. They drink the red and white trails from the traffic, they shatter and multiply in the tears of an inclement rain. I know how much you hate it, you just can’t stand going on recon with an umbrella. On the other hand, I love it.

Rain brings us close together under the waterproof cloth and I manage to observe details that neon lights often hide from me: the precise way you part your hair, the last few drops of the jasmine perfume on your jacket, your long lashes. Shion thinks they’re fake. We always fight over it, can you believe me?

After all, you’ve never been the kind of woman to wear such frills. 

A notification arrives, the acid light of your impalpable PC breaks through the sacred dark from where you pretend you don’t see me. It digs your silhouette and paints you like a ghost on the huge windows of the Public Safety Bureau.

Your jet-black hair lay on your back like varnish pouring over the white silk of your blouse.

“Pulling an all-nighter, Inspector Matou?” I ask casually, exposed. With you, after all, I always am: you’re the only one that can shush my shitty jokes.

But this time you laugh slightly: nothing more than a spike, a trembling breath that shakes your ribs and lips.

“The forecasts say that the storm won’t stop until tomorrow morning,” you tell me, sitting at your desk, “also, I’ve been delaying this paperwork through all week, it's about time I get it done. Might as well do some overtime and get rid of it, don’t you think?”

“You’re such a workaholic.” I label you, realizing how lucky I am being allowed to do it: Ginoza, that prude, would have never let it slide “You should leave some for the rest of the precinct: make 'em earn their wages.”

A tired smile crosses your face as you tap your fingers on the keyboard. It’s so clear you’re trying to avoid my glance.

You used to look for it.

You looked for my eyes at briefings, in that discrete way that eventually shocked everyone. You looked for them among alleys, as soon as you heard a gunshot or the chocked sound of a fight.

And when you found me, it felt like a 7 miles free fall.

“How are the legs going?” I dare to ask. I see the hollow structure of your new shins below the hem of your pencil skirt. They swing a bit underneath the glass of your desk. You didn’t lose your damn tic, your right heel shakes like the needle of a sewing machine even when you seem calm.

You shrug and drink the bottom of an already empty glass of water.

I shouldn’t have asked. It breaks my heart, to see you like this.

You don’t give me an answer and massage the back of your knee with a sigh. Lately, I feel like you’re avoiding me.

You’re turning back into the one you were before: uncompromising, cold and distant. I wonder if the bunch of ingrates downstairs have been calling you Dobermann again. I wonder if you’re still as relentless.

You worry me: your stress level is getting darker and darker. You don’t want old Kasei to take issues with you, not again.

I can imagine how you must have felt, the night when this mess happened.

You most likely got pissed, if I do know you.

I mean, did they really think I got away on my own? I bet you never doubted me: no one knows an Enforcer better than its Inspector.

“Runaway?! Have you lost your minds?” Sasayama?!”

Those were the first words you said when they rescued you. You spoke them way before cleansing your lungs from the rotten water of the river, way before asking Masaoka if you’d have ever got back to feeling your lower legs. They hurt like hell and you had to pull them around like sandbags.

“They got him” you panted, holding tight on your mentor’s coat “They took him away, I tell you!” The one that kidnapped him wasn’t a latent criminal. The Dominator didn’t activate, not even when they shot me. Please, believe me. Check on the log files, please.”

Crime coefficient: 0.

I know that bug still haunts you.

Cause, after all, it’s can’t be anything else: who on earth is that Makishima to fly under the Sibyl Sistem’s radar? Who can fool a network that knows your crimes before you do? And how is it possible that the silhouette that kneecapped you and threw you into a river could possibly be innocent?

You haven’t lost your mind, Inspector: the Dominator betrayed me, too.

Don’t think I don’t know how pitiful must have been, the next three days.

Makishima isn’t real. Forget it, it was just a delirium. You were in shock.

It was the trauma, dear. It was a breakdown. It was burnout syndrome.

You’d use some holiday, darling. Take a week. Take two. Go somewhere far, no, better: just stay at home. Go to therapy. Keep yourself busy, don’t think about it. Work. Also, don’t work: it wears you out!

They put you back on your feet in less than six hours, but nobody allowed you to join search parties. Heaven forbid your stress level getting any darker. Heaven forbid that yet another good Inspector gets demoted among those damn Enforcers. But, still, in the whole IT section, there wasn’t a single nerd that could get that night's logs. That's one funny thing, ain't it?

Woman, sometimes I wish your damn head wasn't that hard. I wish you didn't follow the Forensics to get a lift, so soon after the deed.

At least, you could have listened to Kogami. Shit, didn't you see how pale he was? You didn't even need the Dominator to read him, his stress level was mindblowing!

You should have believed him when he told you you didn't want to enter that alley. First off, it was already full of other detectives and analysts. I have no idea what kind of business you had to do in there. Second thing second, Kogami has an eye for certain matters. Do you think he didn't notice I’ve always been all over you? Not gonna lie, maybe I told him about you, once or twice.

But no, of course, you had to get in.

The software that taught you how to walk on those carbon stilts made you stand your ground and bark a "For fuck's sake, Shinya, move!" worthy of the Dobermann’s reputation. Even those who hadn't been called out made way.

But your new legs didn't hold you, when you saw what they had made of my corpse.

I'm sorry, Katsumi, I never wanted to upset you like that. 

You know how much I would have rather have a more heroic death. I don't know, like, in the middle of a shooting, saving the day. It would have been much classier, less tacky, less trash. I think I deserved it, that's all.

You stop typing and rub your temples. You shelter what’s left of your lipstick behind your hand. I wish I could kiss it off, instead of watching you consume it in a ruby red halo in the notch between your thumb and your index.

You lift your eyes only for Kogami, who’s passing by your office like a nurse in its night shift.

“So?” he asks in a whisper, putting more care in that question than I could have ever done. More than anybody could have ever done, because he’s the only one that gets you, right now. You two seem like the only ones who lost something.

You shake your head slowly, staring at the monitor and the dangerously high Crime Coefficient on the display.

“It's not working” you wail softly, misty-eyed. I can’t believe it, is it still you?

“They’re gonna kick me out anyway, if it doesn’t lower quickly” you continue, with that realism of yours. I used to call you a jinx for that but, at the end of the day, you always got our backs. “It’s for the best if I just resign. I’m gonna keep what's left of my dignity, at least.” 

The dark profile of my best friend looks through me, as he sits on the armchair next to mine. He would like to say something, a word of encouragement maybe, we all know it in this damn room, but numbers shut our mouths. 

“You could become an Enforcer” he proposes.

Goddammit, Shinya, did we work with the same person? Katsumi as an Enforcer?

And there you go, shaking your head. You hold your face in your hands and let your raven hair hide your visage. 

“Can you imagine me, following orders? I do know how to work, I can do it better than three-quarters of our colleagues and I’ve never had problems remarking it. They’d eat me alive if they had the chance. Dogs celebrate on the corpses of lions.”

“But lions remain lions and dogs stay dogs.” Kogami finishes, stealing my lines. 

I notice the slight trembling of your finger, as you tap your touchpad to send that last confirm.

In a few moments, the system will have your resignation registered. Your profile won’t unlock your Dominator anymore and in a few days time, just enough for you to collect your belongings, you won’t even manage to enter the office.

Who’s gonna explain to old Kasei that there's more of your stuff here than in your apartment?

I’d ask you what do you plan on doing with your life, but tonight’s decision seems definitely brave enough to call it a day.

I look at the tabs you open in your browser, they mirror in the windows behind you.

Air travel.

Argentina, Cuba, States, New Zealand, Germany, Kenya. You go around the world in 80 seconds flat, you multiply your chances and spread them all through the air in front of you, in a complex diagram that doesn’t lead anywhere.

I never wanted to take you away from your home, you don’t deserve this. 

You cover your eyes with a hand and use the other one to pick a random selection from your atlas.

Greece.

“Well, at least it’s on the sea.” you wrap up, condensing in a handful of words the only satisfaction you can find in starting a brand new life.

You two stare at the transparent screenshot of your flight, the countdown on the web page seems way too joyful.

“It’s so exciting, Katsumi Matou! Check-in your luggage. Your journey will begin in: 06 days: 17 hours: 34 minutes: 21 seconds”

20.

19.

18.

Seconds pass by, in complete silence.

“Do you think it would be a burden to him?” you ask Shinya, “Do you think he’d understand?”

Who would have guessed that a cynic one like yourself could believe in the afterlife? I wish I were here to ask you. I wish we could have spoken about life, death, sex, about things long gone and things yet to be.

His hand squeezes yours gently, as he looks at you in the eye, hoping to stop the train to Paranoidland from setting off.

“It’s not your fault” he reassures you as he can: the both of you wouldn’t make the average person’s empathy.

But he’s right, though, it really isn’t: I know you’ve done anything you could. It’s always been like that.

“Maybe I owe him” you draft “Even if they don’t believe in Makishima, maybe one day I could have proved he exists.”

The teal of your Psycho-Pass would suit you wonderfully, if it wasn’t a description of your mental health.

What could you possibly do in these conditions? You’d have ended up in a cubicle, filing loss and theft reports. You would have never made it to the dossiers, surely not to those of such a controversial case. Making you end up in a study room would have been my final bullshit. I’m happy with your choice, really. I would have loved visiting Europe someday.

“Don’t talk nonsense.” Kogami rebukes you, externalizing what I’ve been thinking all along: “I’m going to look out for your man: your team has already given way too much. I’m gonna find him, Matou, cold case or not.”

You nod, but it’s clear you don’t believe him. I can read through you, you’re a terrible liar.

I don’t think you don’t trust him, most likely you’ve done the math and figured that working on an independent case is far too difficult for an Inspector, let alone for an Enforcer.

And there it is, my fall. After an exhausting chase, you finally look into my eyes, even though -according to Shinya- you’re most likely staring at the void.

Despite being used to such races, believe me, I’ve missed you.

“I’m just so sorry.” you finally whisper, giving me a bitter smile. 

Try and stop me, Ginoza, tell me once again how inappropriate it is: I don’t mind anymore. I get up and I don’t hesitate while holding you and leaving a kiss on your hair, shamelessly.

“I’m going to grab some coffee” I announce, walking backwards to the door like a shrimp, just to look at my dearest friends a bit longer. “I’d get you one, but I’m short on coins. Maybe next time.”

“See you, Inspector.”, Kogami greets you, leaving alongside me.

“Be good.” you wave back, as we were all to meet again tomorrow.

Walking through the dark alley, I can hear an excerpt from our last conversation through the opaque glass of your office.

“You’re jerk, Sasayama!”

I can hear you laughing out loud, through the crackly recording. You laughed at my gall, with that warm, strong, sweet voice of yours, mocking me. Admit it: mine, after all, were the only compliments that could make you blush.

It’s incredible how we managed to joke even inside a car that was taking us on a crime scene. To an external eye, we might have looked disrespectful. Truth is I’ve always feared death so much I just had to laugh at the reaper.

“Oh, come on, what would it take? Come with me to the Precinct’s New Year’s dinner, the 17th is around the corner!” I kept annoying you, as you were too busy driving to mind my dumb flirt attempts. I still can’t get how we never had an accident. “Be good, Katsumi, give me a joy to live for!”

“You could always ask Shion, you know? You always give her more attention, after all.”

I hear the subtle sound of the wheels stopping, the parking brake cracking and it’s like Ogishima’s outskirts appear before my eyes, in that same January night. That place gave me goosebumps, but I would have hated if you understood it.

“Here we are” you announced, with still a bit of resentment in your voice. You unlocked the passenger’s door and I remember I left your Dominator in the car’s trunk: I didn’t want you to follow me. Not that time.

“You scare me when you pay so much attention” you commented, noticing how serious I got “will you tell me why are you insisting so much to keep on searching? Kogami got the guy. Tomorrow we go, we arrest him and it's thank you, next.”

My answer has been recorded as a distant and muffled noise, but I still can trace it: “He’s not the one, I tell you. I have another suspect, but I need a more solid base. And you’re staying, Inspector.”

“Staying?! You’ve gone crazy!” you laughed, locking the corporate sedan behind you “If something were to happen to you, or worse if you didn’t come back, Kasei would…”

“I said you’re staying: it’s dangerous.”

“Sasayama, our work is dangerous,” you replied, contemptuous, understanding that clearly among the gear I brought I didn’t count yours and going back to the car to get it “One more risk won’t make a difference: if I have to drop dead, it can either be here, at home or god knows where.”

“Will you join me for the precinct’s dinner, though?”

And here is a sequence that the voice recorder surely can’t have grasped, but that I could remember even in a thousand years. You cast an outraged glance over me from above the trunk’s door, panting through a half-smile. You shook your head, tucking your hair behind your ear. And finally, after refusing my invitations since 17th November, during lunch break, you smiled shrugging.

“Deal, come on, just make way” you sighed, as your heels echoed on the wet concrete “Still, you’re a jerk.”

“I recorded it: you have no excu-”

The audio file interrupts.

End of recording.

[bestreasonstowriterecordreviews]

✰ BEST OF THE BEST REASONS TO WRITE FUCKIN’ RECORD REVIEWS IN 2019 ✰        

It’s that time again: let’s feast from 2019′s Grapevine That Is Never Pruned with 21 (+ approximately 277 more) of the BEST OF THE BEST REASONS TO WRITE FUCKIN’ RECORD REVIEWS IN 2019!    ✰ 7th ANNIVERSARY ✰ 

<All long playing vinyl records unless otherwise noted...& many cassettes>

✰ ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰ TOP 21 ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰

✰ TAIWAN HOUSING PROJECT  Sub-Language Trustees  (ever/never) ✰

✰ SAMANTHA RIOTT  Bloodletting download (self-released)

✰ PAULA GARCIA STONE  Undercurrent  cd (Linear Obsessional, UK) 

✰ POSSIBLE HUMANS  Everybody Split (Trouble In Mind)

✰ WILLIAM HENRY MEUNG cassette FMerror (chemical imbalance., Australia)

✰ LEILA BORDREUIL  Headflush  (Catch Wave Ltd)

✰ LEIGHTON CRAIG Diamond Eye (Bruit Direct Disques, France) 

✰ KNITTED ABYSS   Bad Lassies (Paradise Daily, Australia)

✰ WEAK SIGNAL  LP1  (Mag Mag)

✰ TOM OF ENGLAND  Sex Monk Blues (L.I.E.S.)

✰ DRY CLEANING  Boundary Road Snacks And Drinks & Sweet Princess LP (It’s OK, UK)

✰ 75 DOLLAR BILL  I Was Real  double LP (Thin Wrist Recordings) 

✰ DARK BLUE Victory Is Rated (12XU)

✰ KALI MALONE  The Sacrificial Code 3 cd (iDEAL Recordings, Sweden)

✰ SHABAZZ MYSTIK Chant D’Lâme (Off, Belgium)

✰ LONG HOTS Give And Take 7” (Third Man)

✰ AMIRTHA KIDAMBI & LEA BERTUCCI  Phase Eclipse cassette (Astral Spirits)

✰ CHRIS BROKAW  End Of The Night (VDSQ)

✰ SPIRAL WAVE NOMADS Spiral Wave Nomads (Twin Lakes/Feeding Tube)

✰ HAMA Houmeissa (Sahel Sounds)

✰ YL HOOI  Untitled  cassette (Altered States Tapes, Australia)

JEANINES Jeanines (Slumberland)

ARTEFACTOS DE DOLOR  La Niña double LP (Pain Artifacts)

U-BAHN  U-Bahn  (Future Folklore, France)

MDOU MOCTAR Ilana: The Creator (Sahel Sounds)

STEFAN CHRISTENSEN The Upcoming Flame (bruit direct disques, France) 

TYSHAWN SOREY & MARILYN CRISPELL  The Adornment Of Time cd (Pi Recordings)

ALE HOP Apophenia (Buh Records, Peru)

TIM PANARETOS  Submergence cd-r (chemical imbalance., Australia) & Opposites End download (self-released, Australia)

KATE CARR City Of Bridges download (Longform Editions, Australia)

WRITHING SQUARES  Out Of The Ether (Trouble In Mind)

MY NORTH EYE  (My) North Eye (2011) cd-r  (Reverb Worship, France)

PINOCCHIO  Pinocchio ep (Toxic State)

BRIDGET HAYDEN Soil And Song cassette (Synchronise Witches, UK) [comes with Karen Dalton fanzine!]

The COWBOYS The Bottom Of A Rotten Flower  (Feel It Records)

OLUMPUS  Caucus & Surplus downloads (both stabbies, etc., New Zealand)

CHUCK CLEAVER  Send Aid (Shake It!)

JOSÉ DIAS  After Silence, Vol. 1. cd (Clean Feed, Portugal)

KNIFE WIFE  Family Party cassette (Sister Polygon)

TRAMPOLINE TEAM  Trampoline Team (HoZac)

KATE CARR  Heatwave cassette (self-released, UK)

SEBASTIEN STH BISET  Islæd cd (Mnóad, Belgium)

PHAROAH CHROMIUM  Eros + Massacre  (Scum Yr Earth, France)

JOSEPH ALLRED Aspirant cassette (Garden Portal Tapes) & O, Meadowlark (Feeding Tube)

ANDREA BORGHI Tistre cassette (Dinzu Artefacts)

MOPE GROOVES Desire (See My Friends Records)

JOSHUA ABRAMS & NATURAL INFORMATION SOCIETY  Mandatory Reality (Eremite)

SOFIE BIRCH  Island Alchemy cassette (Constellation Tatsu) 

VOYAGE DATA  Voyage Data cassette  (Econore, Germany)

JONNY COUCH  Mystery Man  (Damages Sofa)

FISCHERLE  Gmatwacz cassette (Czaszka, UK)

ROCKET 808  Rocket 808 (12XU)

LINDA TRIP  Sad Bangers cassette (Superdreamer) 

MATTHEW J. ROLIN  Matthew J. Rolin (Feeding Tube Records)

STEKKERDOOS  Kalendar cassette (No Rent)

IAN HAWGOOD  光 (Home Normal, Japan)

ÀLEX REVIRIEGO • DISCORDIAN STRING ENSEMBLE  Incerto For Doublebass And Strings download (Discordian, Spain)

JULIA KENT Temporal cd (The Leaf Label, UK)

NAPS  Better To Give cassette (Gertrude Tapes)

TERROR OF THE DEEP  The A-Team cassette (Melted Ice Cream, New Zealand)

CLAIRE ROUSAY Friends cassette (Never Anything)

ANNA SUBIRIANA • POL PADRÓS • JOAN ANTONI PICH Brull’s Bet download (Discordian, Spain)

HAKOBUNE  A Fan, Strings, and Two Guitars cassette (Patient Sounds)

LORI GOLDSTON Things Opening (Second Editions, Germany)

The RESONARS  No Exit (Trouble In Mind)

MARCIA BASSETT • MANUEL MOTA • MARGARIDA GARCIA  Here They Rest Immobile (Yew)

URANIUM CLUB The Cosmo Cleaners: The Higher Calling Of Business Provocateurs (Fashionable Idiots/Static Shock, UK)

THE COOL GREENHOUSE  “Crap Cardboard Pet” 7” (Hidden Bay Records, France)

ROB NOYES “You Are Tired”/“Nightmare Study”  7” (Market Square Recordings, UK)

TOM LÖNNQVIST  Häviävän Pieni Osa (Guggenhavn Archive, Sweden)

GOTOBEDS  Debt Begins At 30 (Sub Pop)

GREG KELLEY/ROB NOYES  Greg Kelley/Rob Noyes split cassette (self-released)

DEAD SEA APES  The Free Territory  double LP (Feeding Tube Records) 

DRAGGS  Draggs cassette (Slime Street, Australia) 

SPRAY PAINT Into The Country (12XU)

SPF Paul’s McCartney 

2 CHEVRONS No Rules In Outta Space cassette (Albert’s Basement, Australia)

DARK TEA Dark Tea (Fire Talk)

TERRINE  Live At Home cassette (Econore, Germany)

The SNAKES  The Snakes (Anti Fade, Australia)

LIVE SKULL  Saturday Night Massacre  (Bronson Recordings, Italy)

ELKHORN  Sun Cycle/Elk Jam 2 LP (Feeding Tube)

MESSRS  Messrs 12” (Heel Turn Records)

VIRGINIA PLAIN  Strange Game (All Hands Electric)

JEN KUTLER  Dismbodied (EyeVee)

MOR AIR  Life Behind Glass cassette (Genot Centre, Czech Republic)

CIA DEBUTANTE  The Landlord (Siltbreeze)

JOSÉ DIAS  After Silence, Volume 1 cd (Celan Feed, Portugal)

LAURA LUNA CASTILLO  Folksonomies cassette (Cudighi Records)

THE GIRL IN TIMES NEW VIKING  The Girl In Times New Viking (The Fah-Q Catalog)

43 ODES  43 Odes cassette (Eiderdown)

OOF Vanity Plate cassette & EGO cassette  (both Fuzzy Warbles cassettes)

ORGUE AGNÈS A Une Gorge (three:four, Switzerland; Standard In-Fi - 2018)

MICHAEL MORLEY Heavens Idleness Awaits 2 LP (Thin Wrist Recordings)

CHRISTINA KUBISCH  Schall Und Klang cd (Fragment Factory, Germany)

HUNTED CREATURES Sleep Weed cassette (White Reeves Productions)

UNITED WATERS  Coma To Coma (Drawing Room Records)

JULIUS MENARD  Hr  cassette (Econore, Germany)

GEE TEE Chromo-Zone download (self/released, Australia)

AARON RUSSELL  Coral Music cassette (Gertrude Tapes)

9TH HOUSE  Planetary EP 12” (Hot Haus, UK) 

SCAN  Scan 7” ep (Drugfront)

The HECKS  My Star  (Trouble In Mind)

ALINA PETROVA & KIRA WEINSTEIN  Sad Ko cassette (Never Anything)

HIEROPHANTS  Spitting Out Moonlight (Anti Fade, Australia) 

NOTS  3  (Goner)

P WITS The Desire and Pursuit of The Whole cassette (chemical imbalance., Australia)

GOLDEN PELICANS Grinding For Gruel (12XU)

TOPDOWN DIALECTIC  Vol. 2 (Peak Oil)

M. SAGE  Catch A Blessing (Geographic North)

ECHO OHS  Wild Weeds 12” (1:12 Records, New Zealand)

CIVIC  Selling, Sucking, Blackmail Bribes 7"  (Total Punk)

WENDY EISENBERG & SHANE PARRISH  Nervous Systems (Verses) 

KNEELING IN PISS  Tour De Force cassette (The Fah-Q Catalog)

s.soo Tyman download (New York Haunted, Netherlands)    

WSCHÓD  Wschód cd (Clean Feed, Portugal)

PREENING Gang Laughter (Digital Regress) 

CLARICE JENSEN  Drone Studies  cassette (Geographic North)

MARBLED EYE  Beat Sessions, Vol. 8 cassette (Shout Recordings)

STEVE MOORE  Steve Moore 12” (L.I.E.S)

The SELVA  Canícula Rosa cd (Clean Feed, Australia)

PROGRAM Show Me 12” (Anti Fade, Australia)

SLUMB PARTY Spending Money (Drunken Sailor, UK)

EUN-JUNG KIM & CHARLIE COLLINS  Shining Days cd (Linear Obsessional, UK)

NEON  Neon 12” (Square One Again)

CUCINA POVERA Zoom (Night School, Scotland)

PAULA SHOCRON & PABLO DÍAZ with GUILLERMO GREGORIO Díalogos cd (Fundacja Słuchaj, Poland)

MY NORTH EYE / LE GOÛT ACIDE DES CONSERVATOURS  MNE • L / G / A / D / C split cassette ([Equilibre Fragile], France)

The WOOLEN MEN Human To Human (Dog’s Table)

PIERCE WARNECKE & LOUIS LAURAIN  

Phonotypic Plasticity cassette (Astral Spirits)

BIG QUIET Interesting Times (Unblinking Ear)

SEAN ALI • LEILA BORDREUIL • JOANNA MATTREY I Used to Sing So Lyrical cassette (Astral Spirits)

POWDER  Powder In Space cd (Beats In Space)

MUKQS Jaki Crush cassette (No Rent)

DENNIS GONZALEZ & DEREK ROGERS Certain Aspects cd (Marginal Frequency) 

PONT-À-MOUSSON Bye Bye Mirello! cassette (ABrecords, France)

AKI  ONDA  A Method To Its Messiness (Thalamos, Greece)

ALEXANDER  Untitled cassette (Garden Portal)

BRANDY  “Clown Pain”/“Rent Quest” 7” (Total Punk)

MAJOR STARS  Roots Of Confusion, Seeds Of Joy  (Drag City)

LORI GOLDSTON & JUDITH HAMANN Alloys cd (Marginal Frequency) 

PAINT THINNER The Sea Of Pulp (ŌBLĒK)

JEANS BEAST  Unearthly Gardens Of The New Gods cd-r (Econore, Germany) & Attrition cassette (self-releases, Germany)

SKULL PRACTITIONERS  Skull Practitioners 12” (In The Red)

UROCHROMES  Trope House (Wharf Cat)

LIVINGDOG & MIKE JOHNSON CRO$$ cassette (Constellation Tatsu)

HEADROOM  New Heaven 12” (ever/never)

JEFF HENDERSON  The Charming Clarinet download (III Records, NewZealand)

GRAHAM DUNNING & EDWARD LUCAS End Of A Cable cassette (tsss tapes, Italy)

VILDE CHAYE Demos cassette (Brainplan)

Heavy Space Records - Anthology Volumes I & II cassettes (Ikuisuus, Finland)

KYLE EYRE CLYD Eggshell cd (Yew)

NEUTRALS  Kebab Disco (Emotional Response)

FREDDIE DOUGGIE Freddie Douggie: Live on Juneteenth cassette (International Anthem)

AGUSTÍ FERNÁNDEZ • WILLIAM PARKER • SUSIE IBARRA  One Night At The Joan Miró Foundation cd (Fundacja Słuchaj, Poland)

HUGO MASSIEN  Dance Trax Vol. 21 (Unknown To The Unknown) 

RRILL BELL Vagabond Laws cassette (Gertrude Tapes)

GAMARDAH FUNGUS  Natural Storm cd (Hidden Vibes, Ukraine)

WAYNE ROGERS  The Air Below (Twisted Village)

UNKNOWN SENDER Unknown Sender  (Colonel Records) 

BLUES LAWYER  Something Different (Mt.St.Mtn) 

DURA  Reverberation Hymns cassette (Garden Portal)

JODIE LOWTHER  The Cat Collects download (self-released)

WOLKOROTS Dan Manialogism cassette (Magma Tones, Finland)  

CEREAL KILLER  The Beginning And End Of Cereal Killer (Anti Fade, Australia)

COLIN WEBSTER/MARK HOLUB Nadir (Raw Tonk, UK)

The CAVEMEN  Lowlife 7” EP (Slovenly) 

FRANCISCA GRIFFIN  The Spaces Between cd (CocoMuse, New Zealand)

ANDY HUMAN & THE REPTOIDS  “Psychic Sidekick” 7” (Total Punk)

SEI A Mode Static 12” (Aus Music, U.K.)

JOHN SAINT PELVYN  Improvisation 7.7.18 download (Southern Jukebox Music) 

REBEL SCUM The Descent cassette (chemical imbalance., Australia - 2018) 

S. ARAW TRIO XIII Activated Clown cassette (NNA Tapes)

FERRAN FAGES & VASCO TRILLA  Gestell cd (Raw Tonk, UK)

HUA LUN  Wanderlænd + 2 cassette (Katuktu Collective)

VIRVON VARVON  Mind Cancer cassette (Girlsville)

PHILIPP OTTERBACH  The Rest Is Bliss (Knekelhuis, Netherlands)

EDITRIX Talk To Me download (self-released)

PAVLOV’S PUSS  Comfort Food  (Melted Ice Cream, New Zealand) 

NATHALIE STERN  Nerves And Skin cassette (Cruel Nature, UK)

AKI TAKASE  Hokusai  cd (Intakt, Switzerland)

MOORDDROOM  Deep VR Edits bandcamp DL (New York Haunted, Netherlands)

EXEK Some Beautiful Species Left (Digital Regress)

CLAIRE BIRCHALL  “Dead Air” bandcamp DL (it, Australia)

JUDY & The JERKS  Bone Spur cassette (Earth Girl) & Music For Donuts ep  (Thrilling Living) 

POWER STEERING  Power Steering cassette (chemical imbalance., Australia)  

RASMUS TIETCHENS  HOBOTPAHC cd-r (New York Haunted, Netherlands) 

UTINUTIN  Black Cat, Anyeurism, And Simian Politics download (no label)

GUY BIRKIN  Yemen Data Project cassette (New York Haunted, Netherlands)

LINUS VANDEWOLKEN  Het Vlier Een Hommel Op Aarde 10”x 2 (Okraïna, Belgium)

JOHN CHANTLER  Tomorrow Is Too Late  (Room40, Australia)

JENNIFER VANILLA  J.E.N.N.I.F.E.R. EP 12” (Beats In Space)

WOW  Come La Notte  (Maple Death, Italy)

KATE MOHANTY  Disappear Here  cassette (Friendship Tapes) 

ASTRO SOCIAL CLUB & GRUMBLING FUR  Plasma Splice Trifle (vhf)

SANR  Kesif cd (Flaming Pines, UK)

ANDREW TASSELMYER & PATRICK SPATZ  Interior Currents cassette (Constellation Tatsu)

AHMEDOU AHMED LOWLA Terrouzi cassette (Sahel Sounds)

SKRU  Count Zero cassette (Bedouin, UAE)

PUGILIST Blue 06 12” (Whities, UK)

ULAAN  KHOL  Collapsing Hymns cassette (Worstward) 

L.$.D. FUNDRAISER  No Peace Without Tranquility (no label, New Zealand)  

COCHONNE  Cochonne (self released)

LE POUFS À CORDES Le Poufs À Cordes cd (Pagans, France)

FRET!  A Vanity Spawned By Fear cassette (Cruel Nature, UK) 

UNWAR  Other People cd-r (Magma Tones, Finland)

WOJCIECH RUSIN  The Funnel (Akashic, Scotland)

SLEEPER AND SNAKE Junction And High (Aarght, Australia)

The OILIES Psychic Dog (Fruits & Flowers)

ELI KESZLER Empire 12” (Shelter Press, France)

HAIDER 10961 12” (Aus Music, UK)

FOSTER CARE El Abuso (Total Punk)

TORN HAWK Time Is A Scam 2x 12” (L.I.E.S.)

The LICE Nancy Spungen download (self-released)

DJ XNX  ATX  (Get Busy!, Russia)

SHITTY LIFE Vinyls Discography (Lo-Fo Lo-Life, Germany)

GONG GONG GONG  幽靈節奏 = Phantom Rhythm (Wharf Cat)

SARAH LOUISE  Nighttime Birds And. Opening Stars (Thrill Jockey)

MYRIAM BLEAU Lumens & Profits (Where To Now?, UK)

TV DUST  Forget (MyOwnPrivateRecords / Occult Gang, Italy)

PRIMORJE Reference Path  cassette (Thalamos, Greece)

JUNE CHIKUMA Ler Archives LP + 7” (Freedom To Spend)

dMyanche  Ergonomie cassette (Indian Redhead, France)

EQUIPMENT POINTED ANKH Live (Sophomore Lounge)

VIV CORRINGHAM  Until I Learn The Language Of Mineral Vegetable  cassette (Linear Obsessional, UK)

JACOB WICK feel (Thin Wrist)

AMATEUR HOUR Framtiden Tillhör Inte Oss (Happiest Place, Sweden)

The FICTIVE FIVE  Anything Is Possible cd (Clean Feed, Portugal) 

DANKETSU 9  Towards A Walk In The Sun cd (Patient Sounds (intl))

IVAN THE TOLERABLE  Rations 2LP (Stolen Body, UK)

DANA  Glowing Auras And Black Money (Heel Turn)

NATE YOUNG  Volume 3: Dance Of The Weeping Babe 12” (Lower Floor)

SHOLTO DOBIE & MARK HARWOOD  The Blue Horse  cd (Penultimate Press, UK)

HEAVY METAL 4  (Statik Age Music, Germany)

WET TUNA  Water Weird (Three Lobed Recordings)

CARRAGEENAN Invisible Design cassette (Czaszka, UK)

PRIVATE ANARCHY  Central Planning  (Round Bale Recordings)  

HIDEO NAKASAKO  Texture Of Days cassette (Muzan Editions, Japan)

PRANA CRAFTER  Bodhi Cheetah’s Choice (Beyond Beyond Is Beyond)

PATRICK SHIROISHI & NOEL MEEK  Break Your Eyes cassette (Sploosh)

ANDY HUMAN & The REPTOIDS  Psychic Sidekick (Total Punk)

SLAG QUEENS  You Can’t Go Out Like That (Rough Skies Records, Australia)

ALIAS G Natural Love 12” (Unknown To The Unknown, UK)

NIVHEK  After Its Own Death / Walking In A Spiral Towards The House cd (W.25th)

GARCIA PEOPLES Natural Facts (Beyond Beyond Is Beyond)

MARCO SERRATO/FRANCESCO COVARINO Bestemmia cd (Raw Tonk, UK)

HOUSEWIVES Twilight Splendour  (Blank Editions, UK)

CLOUDWATCHERS  Cloudwatchers cd (Unexplained Sounds Group, Italy)

CATHERINE LAMB Shade/Gradient  (Black Pollen Press -2018) 

UNITED BIBLE STUDIES  Porti Sepolti cassette (Sloow Tapes, Belgium)

ÚJ BÁLA Diacritical Marks And Angels cassette (Baba Vanga, Czech Republic)

STRENGTH N.I.A.  Do Televisions, Frankie Moore ritual cassette (Stength N.I.A., UK)

DAVID LIPTAK David Lipton: Dove Songs [Tony Arnold, soprano/Allison D’Amato, piano] cd

ANNĒE ZĒRO  La Coolitude (Indian Redhead, France)

MELENAS “Ya Me No Importa Si Tú Quieres”/“Si Tú Me Quieres” 7” (El Nebula Recordings, Spain)

WHIRLING HALL OF KNIVES  Knukke cassette (Cruel Nature, UK)

PROTRUDERS  Poison Future (Feel It)

MOTHER JUNO  Commit cassette (popnihil)

LEFT HAND CUTS OFF THE RIGHT Purge cassette (Fractal Meat Cuts, UK)

CLAIRE ROUSAY  t4t  cassette (No Rent)

IQ+1  Conversaphone Plus (mappa, Slovenia)

BENOÎT PIOULARD & SEAN CURTIS PATRICK Avocationals (Bacon Sound) 

DELPHINE DORA  Dunkles Zu Sagen (self-released)

SOOT  Pockmarked With...Soot!  cassette (Eternal Soundcheck, Australia) 

DAN MELCHIOR BAND Negative Freedom (In The Red)

TÔLE FROIDE  Tôle Froide (Le Turc Mecanique, France - 2018)

AHMED AG KAEDY  Alkaline Kidal  (Sahel Sounds)

DUNNING & UNDERWOOD The Blow Vol. 5 cassette (Front & Follow, UK)

TAKAHIRO MUKAI Super Annoying cassette (Fort Evil Fruit, Ireland)

ANTONIO  High Voltage! cassette (Altered States Tapes, Australia) 

CUBE Decoy (W.25th)

The PLAINS  The Plains cassette (chemical imbalance., Australia)

KA BAIRD  Respires (Rvng Intl.) 

GINO & The GOONS  Do The Get Around (Drunken Sailor, UK)

VIVIEN LE FAY  Ecolalia  (Boring Machines, Italy)

DUKE  Uingizaji Hewa  (Nyege Nyege Tapes, Uganda)

ARIAN SHAFIEE  Arabic Voice cassette (unifactor)

MOUNT TROUT  Shelter Belt  cassette (Rough Skies, Australia)

OCEAN FLOOR  Vernalis cassette (Eiderdown)

CURRENT AFFAIRS “Buckle Up”/“World In Crisis” 7” (dotx3, Germany)

AARON SNOW  Instrumentals  ‘15-‘19  cassette (Surf Shop)

MELKINGS  Movement Music cassette (Regional Bears, UK)

DECIMUS  DECIMUS 6 (self-released)

SYLVIE COURVOISIER and MARK FELDMAN  Time Gone Out cd (Intakt, Switzerland) 

DANIEL HOLT Daniel Holt 12” (L.I.E.S.)

BEAT DETECTIVES  NYPD Records Volume 3: Nefertiti Abstract Movie cassette (NYPD Records)

STEFAN CHRISTENSEN & FRIENDS Unknown Fortune (C/Site)

DIRE WOLVES  Grow Towards The Light (Beyond Beyond Is Beyond)

FAMOUS LOGS IN HISTORY  Memories Of the Space Age cassette (Fuzzy Warbles Cassettes)

HAND & LEG Lust In Peace (Black Gladiator)

DEE DEE & The FUZZ COFFINS Three Golden Hits cassette (Earth Girl Tapes)

RAZORLEGS  Skip Skool cassette (Fadensonnen)

BEST REASONS TO WRITE FUCKIN’ RECORD REVIEWS IN 2018

BEST REASONS TO WRITE FUCKIN’ RECORD REVIEWS IN 2017

BEST REASONS TO WRITE FUCKIN’ RECORD REVIEWS IN 2016

BEST REASONS TO WRITE FUCKIN’ RECORD REVIEWS IN 2015

BEST REASONS TO WRITE FUCKIN’ RECORD REVIWS IN 2014

BEST REASON TO WRITE FUCKIN’ RECORD REVIEWS IN 2013

Neil Morris, speaking to Alan Lomax in 1959:

“Well, when I was just a small boy, Old Uncle Milt Oldfield…Billy Oldfield, the Congressman from Arkansas for so long, it is his father. He and my father are awfully close friends. And they were discussing music. They were music teachers both of them.

“And uh, and they said, dad did and Uncle Milt sanctioned what he said, that MUSIC HAD NO END. That you could learn all the other guy [or girl] learned, and after you got that done they would then, something else would crop up. That uh, that you, that was the reason why that uh, music advanced. That’s why that you would get a better music in one generation maybe that is, uh, IT WOULD FIT THE TIMES IN WHICH THEY LIVED.”

[Lomax: “What about music on the grapevine?”]

“Welllll, they said that MUSIC GREW LIKE THE GRAPEVINE THAT IS NEVER PRUNED. That each year it’d…it’d put on a little bit more. That was what they said, now, about it. Any further questions?”’

[sunshinelukee]

109 5sos videos

This is a masterlist with 109 5sos videos for when you’re bored/sad/lonely/etc All together it’s over 10 hours of 5sos content so enjoy :)

2011 - 2013

all keeks part 1

all keeks part 2

all keeks part 3

best twitcam moments 

love doctor (aka Is It Hi Or Hey Interview)

covers: - If It Means A Lot To You - What Makes You Beautiful / One Thing -Teenage Dirtbag -Next To You - Rolling In The Deep -The A-Team - Please Don’t Go - Year 3000  2.32

their very first gig ever  

lip syncing to Tonight Tonight 

buzzers of death with Calum  

Mali and Calum performing together

Australia/New Zealand tour diary part 1 

Australia/New Zealand tour diary part 2  

5sos and 1D Teenage Dirtbag + pie fight 

fan questions

2014

selfie war

what would you say to a talking cow?

puppet game

spin the bottle

pick up lines

Ashton kissing various objects

playing with kittens

serious lyrics game

5 countries, 5 days food challenge

trying English food

trying to do makeup

bus tour

pre-show routine

Philly cheesesteak challenge

undercover as old people at Target

undercover as Target employees

fall songs at Jimmy Fallon

emoji game

name and shame

question pong

lip syncing to hit me baby one more time

heartache on the big screen game

that one livestream where Michael dressed up as a pig and Calum wore that wig

2015

the lost member of 5sos

full rowyso show

full How Did We End Up Here movie

She’s Kinda Hot on tiny kids’ instruments

painting their dream girl, biggest fear and more

interviewing the Star Wars cast dressed up as Star Wars characters

cards against humanity

ask anything chat

first, worst, best

spooky challenge

5 second rule on Ellen

how rock ‘n’ roll are they?

shazamahang

jenga with a twist

shazamily feud

reacting to fetus photos

2016

heads up

Japanese games

trying to sing Cantonese songs (honestly one of my fav 5sos interviews/games ever)

making toast with vegemite

vegemite drumming

reading fanfic

full slfl show

what a cracker of a game

drawing challenge

how to rock

2017 - 2019

full Rock in Rio show

full Meet You There tour show

festival song

the meme review

reading our youtube comments

do they remember their own lyrics?

who knows who better?

bloopers

slanguage

dad jokes

The Summer Brothers

Mario Kart

tying the Kain Pelikat 

5 sauces 

5 sauces 2.0 

Malum cooking

tumblr Q&A

who of you would

much confessional

reverse song challenge

first and last

Aussie test

reacting to fans hearing Youngblood

guess the accent

tattoo breakdown

never have I ever

band superlatives

friendship test

would you rather

making a Youngblood drink + more never have I ever

eating Brazilian food + most likely to

eating Dutch food

reacting to 5sos covers

perfect playlist

planning a night out

finding out which 5sos member they are

dancing

musical beers

5sos vs. fan

The tour diaries and cocktail chats and stuff were supposed to be on here too but I’m too lazy sorry