#Because:

[high-on-the-dying-sun]

We All Break

Young Primo And Terzo 

TW: this piece of writing is centered around self harm. If this topic triggers you in anyway shape of form, I advise that you either A, proceed with caution or B, skip this entire.

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Terzo has no memory of when he first started cutting. though he does remember the first and only time his brother caught him doing it. He was 15 when it happened. Young dumb and stupid. he never thought he was going to get caught skipping mass. His father, when he wasn't being a drunken fool or harming his own children, was too busy to care. And His oldest brother was preoccupied with taking care of his future in the clergy. And his older brother (only by 3 months, but this never stopped Secondo from holding it over his head.) was always busy with defiling brothers and sisters of sin. It seemed that Terzo was the one who didn’t fit in.

Terzo was sitting in his dimly lit room carving lines into the flesh on his thighs. He didn't  even know why he was doing it, he just knew he needed it. He needed to stop the pain. “Fratellino, Are you in there?” Primo's muffled voice asked from the other side of the door. Fuck. Terzo jumped off his bed letting out a low growl as blood traveled down his leg, and the growl deepend as it ran into his pants that he was trying to get on. Terzo limped to his door not paying any mind to the blades he left on the bed. “Brother, How may I help you?” Terzo rushes out as he opens his door. “You missed mass.” Primo explained “I was worried so I came to check on you.” he continued after a moment of silence. Terzo tensed, quickly thinking of a plausible excuse. "I was feeling ill," he misled, letting out a rather fake-sounding cough. "Didn't want to risk getting any others sick." Primo looked skeptical, But nodded.

Primo stared into his brother's eyes, he was lying. Primo stuck his head into the room a bit and looked around. Never in his mind was he expecting to see a bloody rag and a handful of razor blades scattered on his brother's bed. He turned his head back to his brother, His eyes were starting to water. "Fratellino,what did you do to yourself?" He asked softly. Terzo started to step back into his room. And Primo followed him. “I'm sorry." Terzo crooked out, backing into his bed. Primo put his arms out to steady him "don’t be sorry child, but I need you to show me where you hurt yourself." He said slowly.

Terzo rocked himself back and forth where he stood trying to calm himself down. But it only seemed to make it worse. He could now feel the blood soaking his pants. “Please, Terzo, for the love of Satan, show me now.” Primo yelled. But he wasn’t yelling like Nihil did. No, his voice was fearful. He was scared for him. He cared for him. Terzo cried like a baby as he shakily pulled down his pants to show his brother. This wasn’t how it was supposed to happen. No one was supposed to know. 

The blood was starting to congeal, which made taking off his pants quite painful. When they were completely removed, he looked back at Primo. He looked scared. He saw all the old scars that ran up and down both of his legs. "Oh Fratellino, let me help you." Primo looked at him again with sorrow in his eyes. "I have rubbing alcohol and bandages in the last drawer to the left in the bathroom." Terzo whispered. Primo ran his hand through Terzo's hair, "Okay i will grab them in a moment, thank you for showing me.” He  consulted softly.

Primo rushed into the bathroom looking through every drawer. He had already found what he needed but he was still suspicious about what else Terzo could be hiding. And he was rightfully so. He found more razor blades; the majority had been rusted with blood. He saw the scars, there was now a deep ache in his heart. It was for Terzo, his little brother, who had been suffering all this time and never told a soul. Primo had no idea how long the cutting had been going on. But between the scars and the rust on the blades. It could have been years as far as he knows. He could feel the tears in his eyes but he soon blinked them away, he needed to help his brother.

Primo stepped back into the room after collecting himself, Tezo was now sitting on the floor shaking. He got down on his knees and placed the alcohol and gauze beside him. “Put your legs out for me please.” Terzo did as he was told. Slowly Primo picked up a rag and drenched it in the alcohol. Terzo hissed as Primo wiped the alcohol soaked rag against the cuts. “I know it hurts but don’t worry, it's almost over.” He said keeping his voice soft almost as if he was talking to a small child.  

it's almost over. It's almost over. Terzo repeated continuously in his head. All he wanted was for the pain to stop. Why had he been so stupid. He knew better to cut himself. It wasn't long before the metaphorical bridge collapsed and tears ran down his face faster than he had ever expected. Hell he didn't even get a chance to wipe them away and pretend he wasn't crying before Primo saw.

“Fratellino, look at me.” Primo whispered, removing the rag from the skin causing Terzo to shiver when the air hit the wounds, and along with that he looked up. “Terzo, tell me what's wrong. Tell me why?” Terzo remained silent for a moment, avoiding Primo's piercing gaze. "I don't wanna be me anymore." Terzo explained, whispering out. He was miserable. In fact he was so miserable that sometimes he would think the whole world would be better without him. “I can’t do this anymore.” he whined to Primo. “I'm tired of rotting away in life so it would be better if I was rotting in the ground, away from all of the world. Away from everyone." 

The confession left Primo frozen. Satans it was bad. “No it wouldn’t.” he needed  to defuse all of this. Primo needed to make Terzo understand how wrong he was. How it wouldn't be better. “It won't because I wouldn't have my Littlest Fratellino. And me and Secondo and the ghouls would miss you dearly.” he soothed. He was saying nothing but the truth and at that very moment Terzo felt his body collapse on itself. He only barely missed banging his head on the floor if it weren't for Primo rushing once more to hold him up. If it weren't for Primo Terzo could have been bleeding to death. 

“ Terzo, guardami, sono qui adesso, andrà tutto bene te lo prometto.” Primo said as Terzo let out all his sorrow into his brother's chest. “mi dispiace, per favore non ho mai pensato-” Terzo whined as his own sob cut him off.  “It okay well work everything out, Fratellino, io sono qui qualunque cosa accada.” Primo explained as he continued to run his hand through Terzos hair. 

“Whatever is troubling you to the point you need to do this to yourself, we’ll figure it out together. No matter what.” Primo started knowing damn well it was going to be  the truth. Never again will he let Terzo do this, He’ll help his Fratellino until his own soul descends to the depths of hell.

[sanguinesophistication]

🦇 [ ANTONETTE ] liked for a starter

“Far be it for me to intrude, but I highly doubt that this course of action will achieve the result you were hoping for. My brother has somewhat unfortunate predilection for turning those who attempt cross him into a series of body parts.” Elijah explained, “I would hate for that to happen.”

@seerkin​

[samadhifired]

My attempt on Monkie Kid OC (and drawing a modern hanfu.... failed at the modern part)

But yeah, she goes by Qīqī. I she is a snake demon, though some sources call her kind fairies or spirits... I’m still going with demon.

And yes. She is based on Qīng shé/Xiǎoqīng/Green Snake. Am I going to design her sister? Probably not. At least, not for a long time.

[laikaflash]

I’m babbling about heraldry from a fighting game again

This is sort of a redux of my post about the mostly horse-themed heraldic motifs on some of Siegfried’s designs. As before, I’m starting with his PS1-exclusive Soul Blade costume. Specifically, the back of it.

(Screenshot taken from SPGAMES’ video.)

I thought there would’ve been at least one drawing of this coat of arms in concept art, but all the illustrations of the tabard-and-chainmail costume I've found only show him from the front. I wasn’t even entirely sure what the charges (beasts) on it were supposed to be, but my best guess remains that they’re dragons. The same game mentions in Siegfried’s “Edge Master” story that he was named after “the famous hero”. That would be Siegfried from the Nibelungenlied, who gained nigh-invulnerability from a literal blood bath after slaying a dragon (except for the back of his neck, where a fallen leaf happened to land). It’s a nice touch.

Here’s my hypothetical (and likely ungrammatical) blazon for the coat of arms: Per pale, Gules and Azure, two Dragons, Or in Dexter and Argent in sinister, combatant.

It’s hard to find an example of a coat of arms divided per pale and with charges that aren’t counterchanged and I see why. (Seriously, my only other reference was Joffrey Baratheon’s.) Grumbling aside, it does follow the rule of tincture (metals on colors). For reasons that will be elaborated on later, I don’t think this necessarily meant to be Siegfried’s arms, as it may appear. The combatant attitude (pose) of the beasts is a fitting choice for him though.

From the same game, we can see another gold dragon on a red field over Ostrheinsburg during the siege by the unseen Marquis Andre. The blazon would be mercifully easier: Gules, a Lindwurm ondoyant Or. (This dragon has two feet and no wings, so it counts. “Ondoyant” means “wriggling”. Undulating, if you will.) I’ve posted about this before, too. The Soul Archive website specifies that this banner is his. It’s not visible here, but an engraving of the same Lindwurm can be seen on a render of a catapult in the linked post.

Though a little difficult to make out, atop the towers toward the left are the damaged standards of Sir Stefan. Scratch that. Those are imperial banners of the Holy Roman Empire. (I don’t think it worked that way, but I’m not going to harp on that.) The imperial eagle can also be seen on the walls in this stage (see below).

(Screenshot taken from Raivop’s video.)

These look metallic and, judging by the perspective and scale, huge. Little information is given about Sir Stefan aside from his hiring Siegfried as a mercenary, but the former’s description as an “independent knight” might mean that he was a Free Imperial Knight. Ostrheinsburg was his castle, and it is shown to be enormous. In the second image, you can see in the far distance a keep surrounded by several rings of battlements. Even in the ruined parts shown in subsequent games and concept art, there’s a sense of grandeur to it inside and out. It would seem that Sir Stefan was a powerful knight.

I have to wonder how long Marquis Andre was able to enjoy his victory before Nightmare took over Ostrheinsburg. I don’t remember if any of the canon said his fate outright, but it’s a safe guess that he didn’t survive.

Later games gave Siegfried and Nightmare equine motifs, at least in certain costume details. (And in the latter’s case, the pun comes with the territory.) In most of his designs over the series, Nightmare’s helmet had a long, prominent spike on the forehead and flaring metal plating on the back of it, reminiscent of a unicorn’s horn and mane, respectively. (Although, some designs eschewed those for a long, red mane from Nightmare himself.) Soul Calibur VI took this a step further with this winged unicorn rampant in his character portrait. (Strictly speaking, its attitude is forcené. Couldn’t get a pun out of that.) It’s a surprisingly majestic thing for this monstrous knight.

Funny thing is, heraldic unicorns were often more goat-like (with cloven hooves and a beard... and a lion’s tail) and symbolized wildness itself. For lack of sources, I’m a bit iffy on where winged ones fall in this, though.

For comparison, below is Siegfried’s character portrait. If you put just the backgrounds side by side, you’d see the beasts almost as mirror images, combatant if you will! My interpretation is that the broken horn symbolizes that Nightmare is still a part of him, however much Siegfried will try to sever himself from him. Thinking on it again, it’s occurred to me that, unlike antlers, broken horns don’t grow back. In that light, the broken horn may symbolize that Nightmare still has some power over him, albeit in a weakened state.

While the intent here may be that they’re two sides of the same coin, this could also be a carryover from his 2P outfit in Soul Calibur III. Note the winged horse on his tabard. In the leftmost drawing in the top image, the tabard itself appears to show a coat of arms.

(I forgot whose video I screenshot this one from. I believe it was of a mod.)

The in-game model shows a second winged horse on the back. I don’t know if I’m more put off by the charges being in the first and second quarters or the Argent charge on an Or quarter. By itself, a possible interpretation of the pegasus (pegasi?) is fame. I’d speculate that the intended symbolism here is related to the phoenix motif on his default outfit (the reddish feathers on the pauldrons, what appears to be a phoenix—assuming it isn’t a stylized eagle—on his belt buckle), i.e. a metaphorical rebirth. The pegasi may symbolize him rising above his past as Nightmare.

Personally, there’s a reason I headcanon a variation of the above as Siegfried’s coat-of-arms. While it’s hard to pass up the dragon motif for him, I think of the winged horse suits him as something of a reminder of how he started: a son of a knight. A coat-of-arms is passed down from father to son, so in my mind, it’s also something that keeps him connected to his own father.

[longreads]

How Concerned Citizens Drove a Neo-Nazi Out of Rural Maine

Christopher Pohlhaus planned to build a fascist training compound in the woods of rural Maine. The local journalists, veterans, lumberjacks, and policymakers weren't having it.

Pohlhaus, 37, is a former U.S. marine, an itinerant tattoo artist, and a hardcore white-supremacist influencer. He is loud and hostile, and proud to be both. His voice is pitched surprisingly high, and he has a slight Southern drawl. He has a large body and small bald head; a blue-black tattoo crawls up the right side of his face, from his chin to his forehead. Over the years, Pohlhaus has collected thousands of social media followers, who know him by his nickname: Hammer.

Hammer had been living in Texas for a few years when, in March 2022, he bought the land in Maine. He told his followers that he was going to use it to build a haven, operational center, and training ground for white supremacists.

Check out our excerpt of The Atavist’s latest blockbuster story. 

[389]

PORTO ROCHA

[nanaluvbug]

🧀🥪🌶️🥭 The Ravening War portraits  🧀🥪🌶️🥭

patreon * twitch * shop  

[ID: a series of digitally illustrated portraits showing - top left to bottom right - Bishop Raphaniel Charlock (an old radish man with a big red head and large white eyebrows & a scraggly beard. he wears green and gold robes with symbols of the bulb and he smirks at the viewer) Karna Solara (a skinny young chili pepper woman with wavy green hair, freckled light green skin with red blooms on her cheeks. she wears a chili pepper hood lined with small pepper seeds and stares cagily ahead) Thane Delissandro Katzon (a muscular young beef man with bright pinkish skin with small skin variations to resemble pastrami and dark burgundy hair. he wears a bread headress with a swirl of rye covering his ears and he looks ahead, optimistic and determined) Queen Amangeaux Epicée du Peche (a bright mango woman with orange skin, big red hair adorned with a green laurel, and sparkling green/gold makeup. she wears large gold hoop earrings and a high leafy collar) and Colin Provolone (a scraggly cheese man with waxy yellow skin and dark slicked back hair and patchy dark facial hair. he wears a muted, ratty blue bandana around his neck and raises a scarred brow at the viewer with a smirk) End ID.)

[70sscifiart]

One of my favorites by Paul Lehr, used as a 1971 cover to "Earth Abides," by George R. Stewart. It's also in my upcoming art book!

[taizooo]

もともとは10年ほど前にTumblrにすごくハマっていて。いろんな人をフォローしたらかっこいい写真や色が洪水のように出てきて、もう自分で絵を描かなくて良いじゃん、ってなったんです。それで何年も画像を集めていって、そこで集まった色のイメージやモチーフ、レンズの距離感など画面構成を抽象化して、いまの感覚にアウトプットしています。画像の持��情報量というものが作品の影響になっていますね。

映画『きみの色』山田尚子監督×はくいきしろい対談。嫉妬し合うふたりが語る、色と光の表現｜Tokyo Art Beat

[layla-keating]

#thistension

XO, KITTY — 1.09 “SNAFU”

[nevver]

Arts & Architecture, Sander Patelski

[foodffs]

Noodles with Lamb Sauce (Laghman, 新疆拌面) Xinjiang laghman features chewy noodles served with a bold and rich lamb and tomato sauce that is bursting with flavor.

Recipe: https://omnivorescookbook.com/recipes/uyghur-style-noodles-with-lamb-sauce

[kithtaehyung]

AGUST D : DAECHWITA (大吹打) & HAEGEUM (解禁)  ⤷ movie posters | ig ; twt (click for hi-res)

[magicshop]

You, who gave me their hand when I fell, now I'll hold it for you.

[90spiderbros]

My newest #SpiderMan comic is out now, guys! Featuring Ben Reilly and Aunt May! Enjoy the family fluff and feels! 

 Read it for free here! 👉 patreon.com/90spiderbros