#Because I wish it was touched on more why Dearest Daniel was so angry despite being spoiled so lavishly

[insulanox]

Angst.

A/N: A little 1k-ish word drabble. One of their imagined fights, before Daniel was turned. I tried to write this as ambiguously as I could so one can imagine whichever Version of Armand and Daniel you prefer. (cw: drugs, harsh language) -

Armand felt warmth and humidity return to the air as he whipped through the night; receiving only a mild sense of relief. Close, he was close. How long had it been since he tested the quickness of his flight like this? Would it be quick enough? Quietly he cursed somewhere deep within himself for not keeping better track of time's passage. Just exactly how long had it been? 'Screw it. Just one more hit.' The thought he heard ignited a fear in Armand as he picked up the pace, going so fast now that his curls flattened against the wind. Damn him! How could he do this!?

Armand landed unceremoniously in the back alley, leaving cracks in the asphalt under his feet as he did so. In a flash, he kicked down the door of the abandoned building. The debris crashed inward into the dark; if it caused any casualties in the process, the vampire didn't know. There was only one person in this drug den he cared about. "Daniel!" He called out his name loudly, ignoring the dazed and confused faces of the mortal onlookers. Armand's own face wasn't the youngest they'd seen here... but he wasn't exactly dressed for the occasion. His strength certainly didn't match his slender frame. The tenaciousness he expressed were causing many to wonder if they were hallucinating him entirely. In the moment, the look of fear and determination he embodied resembled much more like a mother who lost her child in a shopping mall. "DANIEL!"

Finally, Armand placed him amongst the rest. Now at his side mere inches from his boy's face, he seized the opportunity to strike the hand of another mortal. This individual was in the process of offering Daniel heroin, by the looks of it. The blow from the vampire sent the needle, syringe, and drug soaring into oblivion where the remains rained down onto the floor in fragments. The stranger's hand gained several newly-shattered bones upon impact, not likely to ever be healed properly. One look from the vampire sent him scrambling away. Daniel was already alarmingly high. There was not enough heroin in the world, to get him where Armand's blood could anymore. Didn't he know that? "Foolish boy! Ah, What have you done!?" Armand took the utmost care to take a better look at him, and tried not to accidentally mangle him in the process. Daniel's pupils were the size of dimes, to Armand he was quite clumsy and mere traces away from a lethal overdose. Yes, it was heroin, alcohol ... traces of speed the vampire detected, also. "Quite the cocktail you've made yourself." Daniel had no strong reaction to seeing him, right away. He stared blankly the remaining junkies that were lucid enough to run away in horror. 'I wouldn't take a sip of you in this state for a king's ransom!' Armand was going on, and it took Daniel's brain a few moments to catch up... For it to register Armand was real this time. That Armand was speaking to him, and for the echoing and ringing in his ears to stop. 'What were you thinking, boy!' ... blah, blah, blah... 'Does seeing me this way make you happy!?' ... something, something... '...found you, in the nick of time!'... Time. Time? Oh, that was rich. That did it. Slowly, Daniel got to his feet. "Now, you show up..." "Daniel, please save it! Let me get you out of-" Armand was caught off guard as his beloved boy sobered up quick, with a sudden rush of adrenaline. Daniel grabbed Armand by the neck and pushed him up against the wall. "NOW you show up...! Merry fucking Christmas-- It's March you cunt!" For the moment, Armand didn't know what to say. How to react... Was he ever good at knowing what to say, when people in his life were displeased with him? For all his wisdom, he could only think to offer the words, "I'm here, now...!" The look on his boy's face immediately made him regret the words.

Armand tried again, "Daniel but of course I'm here! You wont believe the riches I've found! There's so much I must tell you -- I came back to the condo and found it abandoned, you weren't there! I've come to take you home to me! Forgive me! Clearly, I lost track of time." "You lost track of time? That's what you have to say? I'm not a vampire, Armand. You can't call it "losing track of time" when it's been months with no WORD." Daniel was clearly still furious, but he dropped his throat. "…Take me "home?" Where is home now exactly?" "It's the truth! Oh, don't be so angry! Did you not hear what I said?!"

Armand failed to see his own audacity and took Daniel's chin in his hand, gently turning his head in what felt like a deeply loving and intimate hold. The vampire scanned Daniel's face closely, turning it gently this way and that. He felt more emotions stir upon realizing it was dirty, it was bruised in certain places. Tell-tale signs his substance abuse and alcoholism had been out of control.

"…You haven't been sleeping in the condominium I purchased you…? Did I not leave you with enough funds? ...Why would you sleep on the street?" After a pause the Vampire lowered his eyelids, leering at his mortal lover with an expression that wasn't quite readable. "... Are you truly trying to punish me, Daniel?"

Armand was genuinely concerned, but his voice couldn't properly convey it. Daniel only heard a lecture, and accusations that were just salt on the wound. Condescendence. Manipulation. Daniel might have been high, but he didn't feel so. His tolerance now surpassed that of any mortal that walked the earth, thanks to Armand. He could tell his vampire was feigning a bit... pretending to discover his recent whereabouts only just now, by observing his face. Daniel wasn't having it, Armand did not discover him like this on happenstance. He would not pretend it. It was making him more angry. Daniel knew, that Armand knew, exactly how he had been living; how close he came to death this time. Daniel could not look at him, his jaw clenched and his brow furrowed. He couldn't decide which was worse... begging Armand to come back and to come fetch him, or performing this little summoning ritual. It was always one of the two when Armand forgot about him, when he got lost in whatever fantastic adventures only a vampire could have. Doing God knows what, with whoever. A dance with death would summon his devil to his side, and if it didn't? Well, who cares. "It's your house, not mine. Money wasn't the problem."

Daniel pushed him off knowing Armand only wanted to touch his face, and gathered himself to leave. All the while knowing he would be followed, of course. Armand was relieved that he seemed to be walking in the direction of their last familiar dwelling, but he could see his boy was still angry. All was not well, nothing was forgiven.

"…You should know what it does to me when you leave…"

Daniel's voice was flat, his hands were shoved deep into his jacket pockets. It bothered him to be the one to break the silence, first. Another mistake! Armand cursed to himself, "Oh, my beautiful boy. I wasn't exactly in a place telephones or fax machines were present, but..."

Armand kept trying, offering him alluring smiles and gentle laughter. A little joke. Brown doe eyes looked at him with the deepest affection, in hopes that his words were reaching him. Perhaps a part of Armand wondered which Daniel missed the most, himself or his blood? The truth was he was afraid of the answer. He knew better than to break his own heart, and ask Daniel such a question, when he was like this. Or perhaps a part of him wanted to believe he and his blood were one in the same and it made no difference. Either way, he could never let his thoughts dwell there.

"You have the right to be angry with me... Let me make things right between us? Please talk to me. I'll make it up to you! Dear heavens, don't you understand by now? How shamelessly and utterly I adore you, so? Do you not know all that you mean to me, boy? Have I not told you? Then let me do it! If I have already, then let me do it again! But of course, I'll always come back--" "No Armand. I don't know that." Daniel said the last words through clenched teeth, cutting him off he stopped in his tracks to face his devil.

"Why should you come back? At the end of the day, I'm just a human. So what if it's four months, four years, or four decades? I'm expiring eventually, right? You won't turn me. ...So that's it! This is just going to be my life, isn't it? Waiting for you to come back, until one day... you just don't."

The silence between them cut a chord in both their hearts. Daniel opted to tear himself away, continuing on his path to the main street. He called a taxi, electing to ride by himself to the beachfront condominium they once shared.

The truth was this. Armand would give his boy anything in the world... but the one thing he wanted most. It was getting worse, this pattern they had each fallen into. Daniel didn't have to say the words out loud, but Armand could hear the thought. 'Don't you dare. Don't you DARE say you'd do anything to make it up to me, when you know you wont.'