#BeautyAndDisgrace

[creativegago]

Beauty and Disgrace (Poetry Collection)

Deleted wattpad post under the pseudonym: goldiiblox

🦋 angela's note: To the friends that I wrote these poems to in the past, thank you for the memories. I wish you well, even if we all fell apart. And on second thought, I really think these poems are so strange. What was on my mind while I was writing these and making rose lollipops out of paper? There are also two poems I did not include here because.. I just don’t want to remember them anymore. I don’t like the ideas.

Synopsis:

A 'collection' of poetry that I wrote for two weeks sometime in January to give to my friends whom are special to me on Valentine's Day.

"For writers always have their heads up somewhere. When we think of somewhere, we look up at the sky. Maybe we're thinking where, or asking it for an answer."

Kamusta? (A written introduction for the website)

Ang Simula

Ang mga tulang inyong mababasa ay isinulat ng isang dalagang maraming tanong sa mundo. Ito ay mga tulang isinulat ko para sabihin ang mga nararamdaman ko. Nagkakaroon tayo ng mga kaibigan, kahit pilit natin itong iwasan ay darating sila sa mundo natin upang patunayang hindi tayo nag-iisa. Hindi ibig sabihing mahina ka kapag may katulong ka, ipinapahiwatig lang nito na malulungkot ka lamang kung mananatili kang naglalakbay na mag-isa sa mundo.

May nakapagsabi sa akin, na pakaunti nang pakaunti ang oras na nabubuhay ang isang tao. Palala ng palala ang mundo, tila may isang malubhang karamdamang walang lunas. Masakit man at hindi katanggap-tanggap, ngunit tayo ang dahilan ng paghihirap na kanyang dinaranas.

Naisip ko na, bakit nga ba minahal natin ang isa't-isa? Kung ikaw lang naman sa atin ang nasasaktan ng malubha? Isang tanong na binulong ko sa langit, na parehong nilulunod ang paningin ng mga bituing na kailanma'y hindi ko masusungkit.

Patawad, mundo. Mahal na mahal kita. Patawad dahil hindi ko alam kung mahal ka pa rin ba ng iba.

Ang mga tulang ito ay hindi man ang pinakamahusay sa lahat, ngunit kailangan pa bang alamin kung ito ay binuhos ko mula sa aking pusong maraming linalaman?

Magkikita tayong muli pagkatapos ng labing-isang tula.

(Paalala para sa mga banyaga: Labing-isa, maghintay ka bago mo maintindihan ang iyong binabasa.)

Pag-uulit

Siya ang gabi, at ikaw ang buwan.

Dumating ang araw

Iyak

Sa isang lugar na kung saan

Mga tanong na hindi nasagot

Hardin

Isang inang nagaabang nag pag-asa

Ang anak, naghahanap ng pagmamahal

Namatay na ang hardin

Pag-aalangan

May mga bagay akong kinatatakutan

Ang mga bisyong hindi ko matakasan

Hiling ko sana'y hindi na ako matakot.

Nakakalito

Pag-ibig sadyang nakakalito

Sapagkat napakatulin ng iyong pagtakbo.

Pag-asa Para sa Mga Bulaklak

Pakiusap, sana diligan mo naman sila.

Hinawakan ng iyong daliri

Sumpa

Hangin, tubig, lupa at apoy

Biniyayaan sila ng misteryo

Ang lupa at apoy

Panaghoy

Nakatutulog ako tuwing may bagyo.

Nagagalit ako tuwing nakakaramdam

Diyamante

Madalas hinahanap ng mga babae

Naadik sa kanya ang isang perlas,

Buti pa ang mga bato

Tamlumpu’t Isang Pahina

Sinabi nilang mahusay ako.

Ano nga bang meron sa hinaharap?

Ako ay dapat nakasulat sa ika-tatlumpu't isang pahina.

Paalam! (A written post to section the Filipino poems and the English poems)

Sa nakaraang pahina ay nagtapos ang parada ng mga tula. Masaya na ang aking kalooban dahil nailagay ko na rin sila sa lugar na kanilang dapat paglagyan. Sa ngayon ako muna'y mamamaalam, dahil ako naman ay magsusulat sa ibang wika ng isang liham na mayaman din sa tula.

Hindi naman ako kagalingan, ngunit wala na akong ibang pinaghuhugutan. Ang pag-ibig ay hindi ko man nailarawan sa mga tula, naipahiwatig ko naman ang aking naintindihan dito. At dahil sa pakikinig ko sa kwento ng iba't ibang tao, marami na din akong natutunang aral galing sa kanila.

Huwag tayong mawawalan ng pag-asa. Hindi natin kailangang pilitin masagot ang lahat ng ating itinanong, dahil may mga katotohanang magdadala pa sa iyo sa mga mas mapanlinlang pang kasinungalingan.

Hearts (An Overheard Conversation)

"Can I touch your heart?"

"Well, no, you cannot."

"Why so?"

"You have to open me up first, an you will never know how painful it is."

"Oh. I apologize for being rude."

"You know, people like you are rare. People with genuine care are rare."

"How could you say that?"

"People who came were crows who opened me up and touched my heart. Some even have nails too sharp that it left a scar."

"What's worse is that they spoke no words while tearing me open. I reckon the times I feel nothing, my cries for mercy withered away, and I heard my own silence."

"I feel really sorry. I shouldn't have asked. It's my mistake. I sincerely apologize."

"It's natural for you to feel sorry, but don't be. After all, you won't like the hideous sight I've been keeping inside me."

"I should stay away from my ignorance. A treasure chest doesn't always contain luxury."    

The Chase

"Perhaps hopeless isn't a place."

Embroidery

They were series of dreams

Define

The fish swam in the sea

Fear crept in its veins

Flight

Sometimes, it's good to be free.

Oh no, there is an approaching storm

Promise

I sat at the back, feeling discouraged.

L O V E

I haven't found it yet but still searching.

Is it really love?

Is it love when we only think of bliss?

I see the paper.

Questions From a Mutual

Is the flower pretty?

I love you dearly

Hesitant

Silence is asking for a dance.

Aurora spoke in eloquence.

"I miss silence"

The existence of silence, my heart beating

Tsunami

If pain is never permanent

Asking

Troubled lots of times

The clouds are speaking the truth.

Strangers

Timid was my perfect profile.

We are two celestial bodies embracing.

Gradient

Why are we distant?

Cashmere skies, reflected your dreamy eyes.

Abundance

I woke up from my bed of roses.

On The Shelf

"Hey moon, please forget to fall down."

Tearing worlds apart, crossing the black hole

Just In Case

This world, a chaotic place.

Now just in case,

Alive?

Sometimes, it's good to be alive.

I wrote during the midnight,

The Good Side

Wasteland became a home.

Dreams have fallen

How Could I?

Should Valentine's last long?

The chase is pointed at me

But they didn't.

Pieces of You

No, I can't fly without wings.

You thought you fell on clouds,

Question: Are you the lost fallen angel?

Delete

Delete the sea in your mind

You sat, barely listening

Tired?

A house built from cards.

There are at least three questions

Saints

Here they are, dancing.

Their lips spoke a prayer.

Evocative

Honestly, I feel tired

Who knows when I'm writing this?

Haven

When I was a star, I loved being warm.

100 Letters

The crack of dusk

Feels like slowly spreading ink.

The rising sun

Is she blinding someone?

I wanted everything to be perfect.

There's a list of wishes

But they feel like I'm becoming more

Hopeless.

Voiceless at 9 o’ clock

Moments, rooms, voices

The house is filled with voices.

It has such clear windows.

But once destroyed by hopeless

All these shows

Are gone by morning.

Perhaps even late in the evening,

Where wild hearts are sleeping.

Voiceless, hopeless is screaming.

Swimming Pools

Things hit rock bottom.

It feels heaven to be in love

Why does it feel hell to break in half?

The swimming pools are calming underneath.

Morning

Parties are fun, do you want to lose your mind?

I tainted my mind with lust.

The throne is made of gold,

Torn in Two

I believed that in this world,

My hopes are as high as a tower.

The cards have cut a slit in my chest.

Misinterpretation

Even if I don't want you to expect much,

Hello, this is me.

I'm a stranger.

Play

She loved the mystery of love.

Why is love serious with their games?

Nemesis granted me a pill.

I wished to be in love.

And now I'm aware that I'm included in this mystery.

Solitude

Pardon, I know you're getting tired.

Sunny, happy, and care-free

We both need rest.

February

Could be as sweet as honey

February, could be a common name

Be safe in playing with the cards.

They are dangerous, all the time.

Wishing Wells

Wishing wells are one of our old spells.

Possibly, we fail.

It's for you to be happy.

H a l f w a y

A variety of poems.

I.

Bubbles float in the virtual world.

I couldn't care less.

My mind, a deep chasm.

Our hearts, disconnecting

But our dreams, slowly forming.

II.

Crimson filled the cloudy afternoon.

The sun cries with vivid tears.

They chose to escape this disaster,

The stars became blind.

Now I see, that the night is gone.

III.

Obsessed with perfection

Obsessed with the passion

Is this the place where they belong?

Or is this another illusion?

IV.

Wistful, I pride for my ocean.

Why do I feel like I'm inside a whirlpool?

I wonder what is going on.

V.

Instead, why am I receiving worlds?

VI.

We are finally on the first lap.

How can I say things

You're halfway.

Can you offer time to stay?

His Story

I | Sculpture

It is a sculpture of a heart

II | Squares

It is a Polaroid

III | Barrier

It is a wall

IV | Puzzle

False discoveries.

V | Things That Grow

Thus, he expanded mulch.

VI | Location

He planted the roots of a musical note.

He called it his true sanity.

VII | Evening

It was dark.

VIII | Oblivion

It was cold.

IX | Creature

His creature, now a monster.

X | Unsolved

A domino of film is played.

Warmth.

XI | Idle

His eyes closed contently.

XII | His Epilogue

Without anyone knowing

Blue

You are deep.

You may not be the heart's color,

But you are here, a peaceful harbor.

Red

I spotted you walking with an old friend named Rose.

Why do I see nothing but violence

I heard you sing with passion.

Even more alive.

Yellow

I see you in between.

You shine so bright.

Avalon

Now, this is a childhood tale.

It might be a sequence.

Avalon, better left as an enigma.

Exit - I end here. Goodbye, friend old.