#Bc they all automatically go for power struggles and selfishness and treating the kid like a possession
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beechicory · 2 years ago
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Argh.
#It is so ridiculous that this kid has FIVE parental figures and I'm the only one who's actually a good 'parent' to them#One other of the parental figures I've spent a few YEARS brute-forcing into being better at it and have to constantly keep doing so#And one of the other ones is just selfish and oblivious and overbearing and kind of useless and more like a kid than a parent#And the last 2 are actively abusive and just fucking terrible people who make the kids' life - and my life for that matter - a nightmare#How am I the only one who is any good at this??#I have no training or experience except a) being very good at loving cats and b) being raised in a horrible nightmarish abusive home#So I'm basically doing what MY family should have done for ME#And it's not fair bc I'm fighting the others every fucking step of the way just to TRY to make this kid's life less miserable than mine was#Like it is such a battle#And it is like a revolutionary unheard-of never-occurred-to-them concept for me to say 'Have you asked [kid] what they want?'#Bc they all automatically go for power struggles and selfishness and treating the kid like a possession#And it's only the one other 'parent' who will even fucking listen to me!#Like it took me a year just to reach the point where this kid trusted me enough to say 'no thanks' about anything#And w/ the parent who sometimes listens to me - the most constant freaking thing I do is ask 'Why?' bc they usually have no actual REASON#No legitimate reason for this rule they've decided or thing they've refused or anything! Just limiting the kid's life bc of how THEY feel#But also like if the kid says something would make a situation worse or better or whatever I freaking listen to them#Bc they have greater insight into the situation bc it's their freaking life and their experiences!#And when they want to spend literal hours describing their new video game I listen and inquire and comment on the cool parts!#And I don't give them 'orders' or anything bc what they have lost the most in this shitty situation is the right to have ANY agency#I always ask before I do things even just opening a drawer to look for a concealer they borrowed bc it's essential to respect their privacy#Bc they don't GET any from anybody else!!!!!#I literally have had to have so many arguments with the other half-decent parent just to get them to stop going through their stuff!#And again the other 3 people are frankly fucking terrible#Actively negative#Two of them actively evil#And yes I've tried to get authorities involved many times but they fucking refuse to do anything I've tried over and over and OVER#So I'm parenting this kid bc holy shit no one else is any good at it#And I'm so angry and tired and upset and I love them so much and can't fix this other shit for them#And I'm so flabbergasted that out of 5 ppl I'm it: the only decent parent#It's not fair to this kid
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