#Bat and Superkids: We have All the Parents

[royalfanficfolio]

#batman au#superman au#dcu#dc#polyamory#shipping#clark kent#kal el#lois lane#superman#bruce wayne#batman#two-face#archie dent#give two face a name#harvey dent#oh my god the moment Clark learns about his clones he has Harvey send Luthor papers#He's filing for custody; Bruce has infected him with adoptionitus#And at that point they wouldn't be sure if kryptonians and humans are even compatible so hey free kids#rambles#what would the ship name even be called lol#Bat and Superkids: We have All the Parents#We have Batdad#Superdad#Crimedad#and Feralmom#Also grandpa Alfred and Uncle Jimmy and Auntie Harley and Auntie Ivy and Auntie Selina and Auntie Kate and Auntie Diana and- puppetmaster13u's tags

You know what idea I just had while on like 3 hours of sleep?

Polycule between Bruce, Clark, Harvey (& Two-Face) and Lois. Can you imagine the utter chaos? Lois suddenly has an extra bit of attention when she marches straight into a crime-den because here comes Two-Face following her because he finds her hilarious.

Both Lois and Clark are suddenly so much more trouble for the people breaking laws because Harvey is a lawyer, he knows all these laws and can tell them exactly which ones are being broken and where to look.

The batkids finally have reporter people around who aren't rude or in their face and don't bat an eye at their shenenigans! Bruce has partners that know about his vigilantism and doesn't try to convince him to stop- though definitely gets him to take care of himself.

Both Harvey and Two-Face have people who don't care about their scarring or that they're two people in the same body. And look they don't approve of Two-Face's growing criminal empire, but he treats his goons good for the most part, and as long as lines aren't crossed then it's fine, they guess. But he's sleeping on the couch if he robs another bank.

Also can you imagine the hilarity of people trying to wrap their minds around this and coming to the conclusion that not only are the three of them dating, they're also dating Superman and Batman, and obviously Bruce and Two-Face are their sugar daddies. Obviously.

[duce-thruce]

Bruce Wayne Meeting Peter Parker

I was thinking of an au where both DC and Marvel universes combined and I can’t stop thinking about how much Bruce would loveeeeee Peter. I know we talk about IronDad, but Bruce Wayne is such a good mentor for vigilante heroes. 

So they meet when Peter goes on a school trip to Gotham and something happening so he decides to put on his suit to help

Batman shows up at the same time

“You’re Batman!! That’s so cool! I didn’t know you actually dressed like a Bat, but I guess that makes sense, but I don’t really dress like a spider. I mean I kind of dress like a spider, but you really have a thing going here” 

At first he talks too much, for Batmans liking but they defeat the badguy so its whatever

“oh shoot I have to get back onto the field trip.”

that's when Bruce realizes that spiderman is just a kid, and he’s like oh dear.

Its not like he hasn't met teenage superkids before but usually hes there to make sure they don't get into too much trouble.

But this one is on his own???? Not okay. He isn't even sure anyone is training him.

SpiderMan leaves and bruce does some investigating and finds out Peter Parker is Spiderman

Bruce makes a quick visit to the declathon peters at

“You’re Bruce Wayne??? LIke Wayne enterprises Bruce Wayne?? Most eligible bachelor Bruce Wayne???” 

Peter doesn’t know what to do cause he knows Tony doesn’t like him very much

So then Bruce reveals that he’s batman and he knows he’s spiderman 

“Why bats? I mean they’re cool and all but can you use echolocation or something?”

“can you stick to walls”

“yes”

“oh”

Peter shows him his web slingers and Bruce is really impressed and says “I have some toys too”

Shows him the Batcave

“If I get a secret lair like you Mr. Wayne, I’m gonna call it my Spider web.”

Peter opens up why he became a hero after losing uncle ben

Bruce can empathize with that since he lost his parents at a young age too

He also understands what its like to feel responsible over the death of  loved ones

which is why he became a hero too

he teaches Peter how to channel that energy into helping others.

Also makes sure to clarify to Peter that the grieving process is long and that he shouldn’t blame himself for Uncle Ben’s death since he is still just a child

Literally considers adopting Peter like he’s done with the other robins, but learns he has Aunt May to take care of him

he also admires peter for being so positive despite being hurt so much

when peter goes back to new York, he makes sure to check up on him

also teaches peter more combat moves 

literally tries to train and mentor Peter as much as possible

“You did what now?” Bruce after checking up on peter at some point.

knows that peter is a child, but also respects his desire to do more heroic things

he’s no Tony Stark and he knows that but he likes to give Peter widgets and gadgets.

Invites him and Aunt May to Wayne Manor occasionally

Peter also gets to hang out with the other batkids which is superfun

gets to play football with them too since they can handle his enhanced strength and speed. 

Albert also loves Peter

Ned finds out and tags along on some adventures. Thinks albert is the coolest guy

“Forget Chair Guy. I want to be Albert” Ned at some point. 

I’ll add more later but I like this idea

[worldsfinestgays]

Bruce is a planner no matter what. The first time they acknowledge what's between them, maybe Clark says "now what" because he can't imagine what they do different now. They've always eaten at Bippos together and worked doing heroics together and taken all the batbrats and superkids to the farm. But Bruce immediately responds "I have a plan." Clarks almost laughs, but he stops himself and looks at Bruce and thinks to himself 'he really does.' And he smiles all big, the kind of smile almost too bright for Bruce to take in, and says 'OK.' And Bruce starts to explain his plan and Clark stops him, a hand over Bruce's mouth, and asks "you really have a plan?" In almost disbelief. "A plan for being with *me*?" Bruce isn't blushing because he CAN control his emotional responses and Bruce isn't embarrassed because Clarks eyes look so blue and so happy and so excited and excited and happy *because of Bruce.* So Bruce simply replies "of course I do." "Of course you do," Clark whispers, a little in awe and a lot in love.

Clark knows Bruce has no trouble adapting when the plans break apart. Clark also knows the plans often come from an anxious place, late at night, deep in the batcave. Bruce doesn't spend hours upon hours figuring out each possible eventuality for no reason. Clark knows that if asked the only response will be 'I'm Batman.' And Bruce says it because that's reason enough. And it is. And it very much isn't. Clark knows Bruce makes plans to self soothe, to quiet the paranoia that isn't truly paranoia because sometimes he's *Right.* Clark knows sometimes Bruce plans on his laptop in the kitchen nook while eating berries and cheese. Clark knows sometimes Bruce plans on paper messily in the batcar, blood sticking his eyelashes together, and his hand don't shake(he needs to write), and he doesn't cry(it'd ruin the paper, the *plans*), but his heartbeat is frantic and his eyes have that look of tight control slowly fraying at the edges. Clark knows sometimes Bruce plans at his parents grave, making notations in only his mind, hands in his pockets, completely calm. Clark doesn't know which plans came from where, but he has his ideas. Clark knows the plans sometimes come out smoothly, but he knows they just as often come out scraping against Bruce's mind, scratching at old scars and open wounds, and so Clark sometimes feels guilty at the comfort and even relief he feels everytime he hears Bruce's voice(once he learned Batmans identity, it was only a matter of concentration to hear Bruce's voice in Batmans') utter the words 'I have a plan.' But he can't truly help it. The phase has been spoken so many times(at league meetings, the fortress, the bat cave, the manor, Bippos, the farm, even spoken to the wind knowing that whoever Clark was, he would hear the reassurance. Once the thought came unbidden, that Bruce only exists where plans do, or visa versa.) it felt familiar and good.

Bruce knows. All he can think of sometimes, on watchtower duty when Superman is off in space, is 'how much can some guy in a bat costume offer an invulnerable, intelligent, hard working, good person?' So he makes a plan. A typical response of his, he knows, but its a simple plan. Its a plan to make more plans, small little plans. So, when Clark returns, most of his questions are replied to with that favored phrase. "What's for dinner?" "I have a plan." "When should we go to the farm next? Ma wants to see all the kids again." "I have a plan." "I've been thinking maybe its time to upgrade the suit? I'm not sure, I ju-" "I have some plans you can look over." "Oh! Uhh.. I actually meant my Clark Kent suit not-" "I have a plan for that too." "Plan? Just one?" "Yes. It entails going to an actual fitting for once in your life Clark."

Clark is inundated in plans, seemingly randomly, and he never stops feeling comforted by the words and so Bruce never stops using them.

Batman/Superman #6