#Barbie’s Bizarre Adventure: BARBIELANDS

[chloesimaginationthings]

I’m JoJo girl, in a JoJo world~

[adamwatchesmovies]

Barbie (2023)

2023’s Barbie turned out to be a pretty big deal. Not only is it Warner Bros. Studios’ highest-grossing film ever, it also received rave reviews and was directed by Greta Gerwig, who co-wrote it with Noah Baumbach. Some say it proves that art is dead, that the bad guys have won, that even the artists with the most pristine integrity can be bought and sold like plastic dolls by soulless corporations. I say it proves there are no bad premises, only bad executions. When someone talented really cares about a project, they can turn even what some might call a commercial into a great, memorable, stylish and surprisingly thoughtful piece of art.

In Barbieland, all of the Barbies, Kens, and other Mattel dolls live in harmony - playing at the beach, working at their prestigious jobs and doing everything the children in the real world have them do. When Stereotypical Barbie (Margot Robbie as “Barbie”) suddenly develops bad breath, and flat feet, then begins thinking about death, she travels to the real world to confront the child who’s been playing with her. Along for the ride is Beach Ken (Ryan Gosling as “Ken”). While Barbie is horrified to discover that the real world is not the ideal matriarchy she imagined, Ken is fascinated.

The movie Barbie most resembles is 2014’s The Lego Movie. Like it, Barbie is a frequently goofy and surreal comedy featuring a beloved children’s brand. It is also colorful, with many stylish visual flares that prove the people in charge have a deep and loving appreciation for the property. When Barbie leaves her bedroom to eat breakfast, she doesn’t take the stairs; she floats down to the ground floor. It’s because that's the way the dolls move when little girls play with them. If you look at the movie, you’ll see many of the various Barbies Mattel has sold over the years appear in cameo roles or roles you think are cameos (but turn out to be much more). Some of the Kens and Barbies we see aren’t even official Barbies but are part of the doll’s history, such as Kate McKinnon's “Weird Barbie” - the Barbie whose hair got cut up, has broken hips and weird “makeup” applied all over her face. Like The Lego Movie, Barbie has the occasional musical number and eventually leaves the made-up play world to visit the real world - a way for it to become more than just an ultra-colorful, super stylish adventure with costumes that are sure to win it awards.

There’s a lot to unpack in this film. Some of it you might anticipate from Barbie's trip to our world. Every 10 years or so, a mob with torches and pitchforks rises up to condemn Barbie for projecting unrealistic beauty standards upon little girls but never before has the character of Barbie actually been confronted with those criticisms; it’s always been the people at Mattel who’ve been on the receiving end. Obviously, in reality, it’s because Barbie isn’t real, but this movie asks “What if she WAS real? How would she take these criticisms? What would she say about them?” I don’t know how Greta Gerwig and Noah Baumbach did it but they convinced Mattel to all sorts of things I would’ve never expected. The movie also makes some strong points - all while being funny and going in unexpected directions.

Barbie is one of the most memorable movies in recent years. Even if you don’t remember the exact song that played during the Beach Battle, you’ll remember what the choreography was like while it played. You’ll remember Margot Robbie’s outfits, the visuals showing how her and Ryan Gosling’s characters travel from Barbieworld to our world, what the offices at Mattel look like, the wonderfully bizarre interpretation of its board of directors, the sets, Barbie's interactions with Gloria (America Ferrera) & her daughter Sasha (Ariana Greenblatt) and the way it made you laugh. It’s got so much going on you could rewatch it several times and find something new in the visuals or the dialogue. There’s a point made about what role the Kens have in society, particularly at the end regarding how much Mattel/the rest of the world cares about them that still has me smiling long after the movie is over.

My only criticisms towards Barbie are that a) it probably could’ve been slimmed by about 10 minutes and b) it’s so successful that we’re all but guaranteed to have a sequel and I can’t imagine a follow-up being as fresh and satisfying as this original. I know there are people who will not be interested despite all the positive word of mouth. To them, I say you’re missing out. This is a great film that just happens to be about a plastic doll made by a giant corporation. It does so much with its premise, that I'm still in shock. (Theatrical version on the big screen, August 11, 2023)

[glittiris]

The Barbie Movie

This weekend I got all glammed up to see the Barbie movie! Before I share my thoughts on the movie itself, I want to complain about the people who were in the theatre. There were two teens smacking their lips on their popcorn and being gross. Just because it’s dark and we all can’t see you, doesn’t mean we can’t hear you. Go home and practice chewing, you filthy animal. There was someone behind me kicking my seat throughout the movie and moving me around with their stupid feet or legs. I don’t care how tall you are, you need to learn how to control your limbs. You’re not a baby deer. Then there was some old hag saying “Yes, right. Yeah. Mmhm. Yes. Right” in agreement with what one of the characters in the movie was saying in a speech about womanhood. Who stars in this movie? Hmm..Yeah, right...Not you. So shut your mouth.

Basically, all versions of Barbie and Ken live in Barbieland which is a “perfect” world where the women have all the power and men are an afterthought. One day, Barbie starts experiencing human feelings, functions and starts questioning her reality because someone in the real world who is miserable starts playing with her and these feelings from the human are affecting Barbie. Barbie and Ken go on an adventure to the real world to find this human so that Barbie can go back to her perfect life, but while in the real world Ken discovers the patriarchy and Barbie discovers that the Barbie doll line hasn’t made the real world a “perfect” society run by women like she thought it did. Ken then goes back to Barbieland and changes things so that Barbieland is now run by the male dolls, Barbies are slutty accessories to the Kens and are pushed out of all the jobs/roles they had prior to Kens taking over. Then Barbie and the miserable human work together to return Barbieland back to normal which is obviously successful, and Barbie decides she wants to become human because she feels she doesn’t belong anywhere in Barbieland. The end. 

There are a million things to discuss about this movie and I don’t know where to begin. I have a lot of thoughts. Before the movie even came out, people were worried that it would be a Boys vs. Girls plot and that it would be a bad thing. Well, it was part of the plot and I personally believe it was well done. Although all the male characters are idiots, the plot isn’t “girls rule boys drool” and if that’s all you took from the movie, you’re weird. If you watched the Barbie movie and you think it’s brainwashing people into wanting the world to be run by women only, you’re weird and need to chill out. 

One thing I had in mind while watching the film was the controversy surrounding some trans women demanding to be allowed into women’s sports. The reason I thought about this was because it’s males infiltrating a space specifically made for females, which is what happened in the movie. Barbieland is a space intended for women and the Ken dolls force themselves on top in that space that isn’t intended for them. It felt very similar to what happens when people are too scared to say no to transgender people. Trans women are born male and expect to be allowed into female only spaces like waxing salons and sports. The movie has nothing to do with transness, but it just reminded me of how males just find every way to make something for women for them too. 

I also thought it was interesting that the inventor of Barbie in the movie said that nobody looks like Barbie and that she herself is just a “5’7 woman with a double hysterectomy.” I understand why having a diverse cast of Barbies is important, but I think it’s bizarre that people are still so uncomfortable with the main Barbie being a thin, white, blonde, blue-eyed, fashionable woman. Barbie is a canvas and not intended to physically represent women as a whole or what women should be on the outside. She represents what women are capable of. It’s like when people get angry that fantasy characters in video games never look like them. The whole point is to play as someone or something that isn’t you. The character is their own person and if you want to play a game with a character that looks like you, play a game with a character customization screen. Same thing with Barbie. She is herself; you are you. None of the Barbies look like me and I’ve never cared about that because it’s just a doll. I just thought she was a pretty doll. I think it’s wonderful that there’s more skin tones for Barbie, but no matter how many different Barbies they make, there will never be one that looks like you. 

I enjoyed the movie. It was very thought provoking and funny. I can’t stop saying “mojo dojo casa house.” Ryan Gosling is sooo fine. If Barbie doesn’t want him, I’ll take him. Pass me that slice of hot man ass.  

[revolver115]

Stand: Barbie Girl

Stand User: Barbie

Stand Description: Barbie Girl can turn whatever it touches into plastic. The objects made into plastic become hollow and brittle, allowing it to easily break. The plastic material itself is filled with glitter throughout. BG cannot turn organic creatures into plastic.

I’m JoJo girl, in a JoJo world~