#Bang Chan/Reader

[darkwitchoferie]

Jealousy

Pairing: Bang Chan/gn!Reader

Summary: You've been dating Chan for a while and he takes you as his date to a JYPE party. There, he notices how close you are to Felix and jumps to some conclusions.

Tags: Y/N used for reader, they/them and you/your pronouns used, text screenshots, angst with a happy ending, unintentional self-harm

Master list

This is my first RPF and I'm a bit nervous about posting it, but here goes. Also link to read it on AO3.

Felix, watching the text exchange from the other side of your phone, huffed. “Gimme a minute,” he muttered. You watched him stride through the crowded company party then watched as Chan caught sight of him, turned on his heel and strode away, leaving through a back door. Felix followed. You stood still, watching that door, waiting for the two of them to come back.

You were pulled from your trance by a soft hand on the middle of your back. You turned to see Jisung standing beside you. From your other side, Minho said, “Chan Hyung wants us to take you home.”

“No,” you shook your head violently, but didn’t fight when the pair of them gently steered you out of the JYP party and to Minho’s waiting car.

Jisung climbed into the back with you, while Minho drove to your apartment. “What happened, sweetheart?”

“I…. I think…” your words hitched on an unexpected sob, “he broke up with me.” You collapsed, curling into Jisung’s waiting arms. You didn’t really remember the rest of the car ride. You vaguely remembered hearing Minho swear in the driver’s seat and you knew they must have gotten your home and stayed a little while with you, because you woke the next morning with a note beside your bed telling you that they had an early schedule and couldn’t stay the whole night but that they’d talk to Chan.

------

Chan had been, not exactly standoffish, but less present than he usually was in the days after the JYP party, especially when Felix was around. He’d clam up the second the other Aussie walked into the room. Minho and Jisung tried first to get him to talk to them, then the others one by one, but he’d just shrug them off and avoid their questions. Finally, after a solid week, the other seven members decided they’d had enough.

Keeping Felix at the back of the group, out of Chan’s direct line of sight, they cornered him in his own bedroom.

“Alright, we’ve had enough. What’s going on?” Minho started.

“Excuse me?”

“Hyung, something’s wrong. We all know it. Just….” Hyunjin trailed off.

“It’s not…. Don’t worry about it. Look,” Chan sought out Felix, knowing he had to be there with the others, and for the first time in a week spoke directly to him. “I can be happy for you, really. It’ll just take some time, that’s all. It’s not like I don’t get it. I know how incredible they are.”

“Hang on, hang on.” Felix interrupted. “You’re not seriously suggesting I, what, stole your partner? Are you? I mean, I saw the texts but I thought maybe you were drinking or something stupid. But you’re serious.”

“You say that like you two being together is outrageous. Listen, I know what I look like, okay? I know what you look like. And I mean,” he shrugged, looking away from the whole group. “It’s not like I can fault either one of you.”

“I saw your texts to them, at the party,” Felix repeated. “But I don’t understand. We’re all affectionate with each other. All the time. What was different this time?”

“If you stopped loving them, and this is some weird way of showing it, they deserve to know,” Jeongin said softly, when he didn’t respond to Felix right away.

“Of course I still love them. That’s not – it’s just –” he scrubbed a hand through his hair, before looking back at Felix. “You two look like you belong together, and I know I don’t.”

“You idiot.” Minho pulled out his phone, quickly swiped open his photo gallery and clicked on a photo. “Do you see that ridiculously sappy smile on their face? You put that there. And this one, and this one,” he flicked through more candid shots he’d gotten of the two of them. “What about this one? That stupidly fond look isn’t directed at Yongbok, they’re looking at you.”

Chan just stared down at Minho’s phone, eyes slowly widening in dawning horror at his screw up.

Felix strode past the other members, pulling out his phone, and gently nudging Minho so he moved. “They blocked me, Chris.” He held out his phone, the last text Y/N sent to him displayed on the screen.

“I can’t call them, or text them. The times I’ve tried, from anyone else’s phones, they hung up as soon as they heard my voice.”

“They stopped answering our calls too,” Seungmin added.

“And the door, when we went to check on them,” Changbin sighed.

“They haven’t been in to work all week,” Hyunjin said. “We tried that, four days ago, and yesterday.”

“Oh God,” Chan dropped to his bed, horror and guilt warring on his face. “Oh God. I fucked up. I fucked up so bad. What do I do? Shit!”

“Don’t you have a key to their place?” Jisung suggested.

A very short while later, after possibly breaking a traffic law or two, Chan turned his spare key in the lock to your apartment. The living room was quiet and dark, the blinds in the kitchen pulled down so no light filtered in. He slid off his shoes and, after double checking that you weren’t in the kitchen, made his way to your bedroom.

When Chan eased open your bedroom door, he expected to find you asleep despite the early hour. What he did not expect to find was the person he loved, curled around and clutching the Wolf Chan he’d given you like it was the only thing keeping you alive, and softly crying. You didn’t turn or even seem to notice that your door opened. Quickly, with the guilt building impossibly higher, he strode across to the bed, sliding into the space behind you and wrapping his arm around you. This made things worse as a sob that wracked your body tore from your throat followed by a wail that seemed to pierce his soul.

You didn’t hear your front door open, nor your bedroom door. So when Chan climbed into the bed behind you, you couldn’t hold back your reaction. It was the first time you’d imagined him being there this strongly, so strongly that you smelled his cologne though it had long faded from the plushie you clutched. In your low moments, like right before you fell asleep or right as you were waking, you imagined that nothing had happened and that he would be there in your bed. Then of course, you’d open your eyes and he wouldn’t be. You’d pictured him walking through your apartment door so often that any vague sound of footsteps in your building’s hallway was enough to get you to perk up, until they always passed by.

“Noooo,” you wailed, curling even tighter around Wolf Chan.

Chan tightened his hold around your waist, pulling you more firmly against him. “What can I do?” He muttered against the back of your head. “How can I fix this?”

You stilled, sobs hiccupping to a stop almost immediately, feeling the way his voice rumbled in his chest against your back and the pressure of his arm around your waist. You looked down to see his arm was really around you. “Chan?”

“I’m here. I’m sor –”

Instantly, your sadness was replaced by white hot fury. You struggled, doing your utmost to pull yourself out of his grip. Not wanting to hurt you more, he let go so you could move. Jumping off your bed, you whirled around to face him. “You LEFT. ME. For a week! I haven’t heard anything for a week, Christopher!” Part of you registered, and was pleased to see, the flinch when you said his full English name, but mostly you kept yelling at him, still clutching your Wolf Chan. As you yelled at him, Chan slid off your bed and moved to kneel on the carpet in front of you. “Not a word! Not a ‘hey I need time’ or even a ‘yeah, we’re actually broken up’. NOTHING. For a week, you left me here alone! Alone and unsure if the man I love even cared about me anymore.” You felt the sob hitch in your chest, and pressed your hand to your mouth in the hopes of keeping hold of your anger and not letting any more sobs out. But it was no use, the anger faded almost as quickly as it’d come. “Why? What did I ever do to deserve that?” You asked, voice small and fragile in a way you hated.

“I am so sorry,” he looked up at you and a small piece of you was pleased to see tears swimming in his eyes. “You did nothing. You didn’t deserve that. It was all me, all my own head. I….” he sighed, roughly rubbing the palms of his hands over his jeans. “I thought…. I saw you and Lix talking and laughing and at first it was fine, it was good even. You looked so good in that outfit and the light hit you perfect, and you were laughing. And I thought how lucky I was that you wanted me.” Blinking, the tears in his eyes finally started to fall though there was no sign of them in his voice. “And you tipped your head against him, laughing still, like you’ve done I don’t even know how many times. Hell, like I’ve done countless times. And I thought, ‘God, they look so good together’. And then, I dunno, it spiraled. And I started to wonder why you were with me at all when clearly you were happy hanging out with Lix, and he’s definitely prettier than me, and you two look so good together. And I remembered when I’m at the studio late, Lix checks on you, makes sure you have dinner. Comes over sometimes so you’re not lonely. And I made it into something it’s not. I know he does that for anybody he cares about.”

He sighed deeply, looking down and clutching the denim over his thighs for just a second. “So I hurt you. I need…. It’s important that you know that I tried to hurt you on purpose. I meant for you to be mad at me, maybe hate me. I thought… I dunno, that maybe it would make moving on with Lix easier for you if you were mad at me.” You dropped to the floor, overwhelmed and no longer able to hold yourself up anymore. The sound of you hitting the ground caused Chan to look back at you again. “I don’t know which one I’m more sorry for. For saying what I said to hurt you, or for ignoring you after that. You did nothing, absolutely nothing to deserve any of it. It was all me, my own mind against me.”

The room was silent for a few minutes, tears slowly drying on both your faces. “Now what?” You asked, hesitantly.

“You could stop strangling Wolf Chan?” Chan responded softly, the slightest hint of his usual teasing in his voice. The slightest smile tugged at the corner of your lips as you finally released your stranglehold on your plushie. “Could I…. Can I come closer?” You nodded, shifting to sit crisscross. Chan shuffled closer on his knees, spreading his knees wide so one was on either side of your legs when he reached you.

When he leaned closer, like he was going to hug you, you pulled back. “No, it’s – I haven’t showered in…. I’m not really sure when I showered last, actually,” you explained, intending to soothe the hurt look that passed over his face.

Instead, the guilt deepened then morphed to concern. “When was the last time you ate? Like really ate a meal?” You were quiet a minute, then shrugged. He sighed. “I’m sorry, my love. I’m sorry for doing this to you. For making you feel like this.”

“My love?” You asked for confirmation, tears threatening again.

“Yes, you are. You never stopped being… I never stopped loving you. I don’t think I can.” You leaned forward, resting your head on his chest, then cringing away again when you remembered you had been the entire week without a shower. “Come on, let’s get you in the shower. Then, how about pizza and a movie?”

“Okay,” you agreed softly.

Standing up, and offering one hand to help you stand too, Chan pulled his phone out of his back pocket. After a few rings, presumably the pizza place picked up. But you were wrong in your assumption. “Hey Lix. Can you pick up a couple pizzas and come over here? Yeah, we did. Yes. Like 45 minutes? Okay, see you soon.” He hung up and tossed his phone onto your bed.

“Lix?”

“He misses you. They all do, but Lix felt guilty until they all cornered me. Is that okay? That he comes over?” You nodded. “You should unblock him too.”

“I will, after a shower. I feel gross now.” A little unsteady on your feet after barely eating and staying mostly in bed for a week, you let Chan help you into the bathroom. Once you were actually in the glass encased shower stall, hot water cascading over muscles that were sore from disuse, Chan turned to leave and give you privacy. “No!” He spun back around to face you. “Don’t leave me.”

The desperation and pain in your voice pulled him to you as if by a magnet. “Can I…?” he gestured to the closed shower door.

“Please.” He stripped down quickly, then crowded into your space as he joined you in the shower. Thoroughly soaked, and thus feeling less gross, you wrapped your arms around his waist, pressing your face to his shoulder. Quietly, you just breathed in the feeling of his skin against your own again.

After a few minutes, and still keeping an arm around you, Chan shifted you both so he was standing under the spray instead. Carefully, methodically, he shampooed your hair twice, then gently massaged your conditioner through it. He only made you step away from him long enough to thoroughly scrub your body, but made sure he kept his free hand on you.

Back in your room, Chan carefully rubbed you dry and you let him, both of you understanding it was both to help reconnect and a form of penance for him. He stepped away long enough to grab the shirt he had been wearing when he arrived and tugged it over your head. You lifted the shirt’s collar over your nose and breathed in deeply, the scent of his cologne calming you the way it always did, as he moved to your dresser to pull out clean underwear and sleep pants for you. He riffled through the bottom drawer, the drawer that was full of his clothes, to pull out something for himself as well.

A few minutes later, a knocked sounded on the front door and Chan stood from the couch to answer it, you following behind him. Chan took the pizza and drinks, then swiftly moved out of Felix’s way. The two of you held each other tightly for a moment. “Missed you, Sunflower,” Felix muttered against your shoulder.

“Missed you too, Sunshine.”

Hours later, with you sleeping with your head in his lap, forehead pressed against his abs, and Felix nodding off against you, Chan felt hopeful. He knew it would take more work to repair the damage he had caused, but now he knew he could do it.

[knottyroseswrites]

Where are the freaks writing 10k of Chan/Reader fluff? I need you more then ever 🙏🤲🧎

[stayteezdreams]

A Winter Date

Plot: Chris takes you out on your first official date. But what does he have planned?

Pairing: Bang Chan | Christopher x Gn!Reader

Warnings: A kiss towards the end but thats all~

Words: 1.2k

On the outside, you knew that you appeared calm and collected. But on the inside, you were a nervous mess. You stood by the park, hands behind your back as you looked around, trying to spot Chris. You nervously chewed on the inside of your lip as butterflies fluttered in your stomach.

You had arrived a little early out of nervousness, but took the time you had to settle yourself. It was your first official date with Chris after all, of course you were nervous.

It was an added nerve-inducing bonus that Chris hadn't told you what you would be doing, just where to meet him and to 'dress warm'.

As you checked the time on your phone, you let out a soft sigh. It was about the time you were supposed to meet.

"Hey!"

As hands suddenly grabbed your waist as Chris popped up beside you, you let out an alarmed yelp, causing him to laugh.

You groaned as you spun around, anxiety replaced by amused annoyance as you smacked him on the shoulder, only causing him to laugh more.

"Sorry sorry!" He apologized half-heartedly, repressing a chuckle as you pouted angrily at him.

As his eyes seemed to scan you, you felt your neck grow warm.

He grinned a you, "You look great!"

You smiled abashedly. "Thank you. So... are you going to tell me what it is we're doing?"

You smiled hopefully and he just shook his head with a wide teasing grin.

"Nope!"

Before you could protest, he grabbed your hand and began leading you along the edge of the park.

"Not even a hint?"

He laughed and squeezed your hand before shaking his head, "It's supposed to be a surprise!"

And a surprise it certainly was.

You hunched over almost unnaturally as Chris giggled, holding your hands as you slowly slid out onto the ice.

"I thought you said you liked ice skating?"

"I said I liked it when I was a kid, I haven't done it in ages!"

Slowly standing up straight you let out a slow breath, trying to remind yourself of all the rules and tips you had once learned.

"Good!" Chris complimented as he watched you carefully, sliding over to be by your side. "You'll pick it back up in no time."

You side-eyed him, "One thing."

"What?"

"If I fall, you are't allowed to tell anyone, especially Lee Know or Seungmin."

He giggled as he slid his hand into yours again, "I promise I wont tell a soul."

As time passed, you slowly regained some ability you had once had, as you skated gracefully, all be it slowly, around the rink. Chris never strayed too far from you and was quick to be by your side any time you threatened to lose your balance.

As you rested against the wall, Chris appeared beside you, a grin ever-present on his face. "Having fun?"

You nodded your head, "I was nervous at first, but I'm enjoying it a lot."

"Nervous to skate, or nervous about our date?"

"Well it is our first."

You smiled shyly and he giggled softly as he inched closer to you, you met his eyes and your breath caught in your throat. His eyes slowly scanned over your face, pausing momentarily on your lips before he met your eyes again.

"You're too cute."

You felt your heart skip before you grinned bashfully at him, "Are you teasing me?"

He chuckled "Maybe. Can't I?"

You glared playfully at him before an idea came to mind. Using what confidence you had in the moment, you suddenly leaned forward and pressed a kiss to his cheek. His whole body seemed to freeze as his face donned a surprised reaction.

Giggling, you pushed away from the wall and skated back onto the ice among the various strangers.

Chris watched as you got farther away, his face burning hot as he saw you look back with a playful smile. Shaking his head softly he returned to his senses as he move to skate after you,

"Hey! That's not fair I wasn't ready!"

As you took a long sip of hot chocolate, you felt it's warmth slowly soak through you. You let out a contented sigh as you watched people continue to skate around the ice rink.

You and Chris had spent over an hour skating together, but as the sky grew dark and the cold sank into your bones, you decided to stop.

Glancing over at Chris you felt a small jolt rock through you as you caught him staring at you with an adoring smile. You felt your cheeks warm as you repressed a shy grin.

"What?"

Chris's smile widened as he got caught staring at you and he giggled softly under his breath.

Ever since you kissed him on the cheek, he hadn't been able to stop his heart from fluttering in his chest. He had been trying to psych himself up enough to kiss you the whole evening, and you ended up doing it first.

Suddenly leaning forward, he pressed a kiss to your cheek, catching you off guard.

When he pulled away he gave you a cheeky grin, "Got you back!"

"Wh- " You gently pushed his shoulder before chuckling, as butterflies rampaged in your stomach.

Reaching over, Chris took your hand in his. As your eyes met, you smiled fondly at each other before Chris let out an almost dramatic sigh.

You tilted your head, "What?"

He shook his head. "I regret having our date this late, now I don't get to spend as much time with you as I want."

"Hmm. I guess you'll just have to ask me out on another date then."

Chris repressed a grin as he nodded his head in thought as he slid closer to you.

He met your eyes and nodded again, "I guess I'll have too." He leaned closer to you before whispering, "Are you free tomorrow?"

You whispered back, "Yes, I am."

He grinned widely at you, making you giggle. As Chris didn't move away from you, you felt the tension growing as his eyes began scanning your face. When his eyes paused on your lips, you swallowed nervously.

"Can I ask you something?"

You nodded, unable to find words. "Mhm"

"Is... is it too soon to kiss you or should I wait for our second date?"

With anyone else you would probably want to move slower. With anyone else you might feel anxious and uncertain. But not with Chris. You had known each other for ages. You fell for each other slowly and sweetly. With anyone else it might be too soon. But not with Chris.

You shook your head softly, "It's not too soon."

Chris inched forward, his nose gently brushing yours as his lips ghosted over yours. "Are you sure?"

You nodded almost unnoticeably. "I'm sure."

Slowly, Chris's lips met yours. It was soft and hesitant for a moment, as the anxious tension of the first kiss melted away. Chris brought his hand up to rest against your cheek as his reservation faded away. He deepened the kiss as your lips molded and moved together naturally.

When he pulled away a few moments later, your eyes met with equally shining happiness. You giggled under your breath as the giddiness of being together washed over you.

Chris pecked a few quick and gentle kisses to your lips as you rested your foreheads together, basking in the mutual joy of your first date.

xx End xx

~I never know how to end fics~

General Taglist: @otsilliak, @brattybunfornct, @bahng-chrizz, @otakutrash669

Stray Kids Taglist: @laylasbunbunny, @skz1-4-3, @prettymiye0n, @thunderous-wolf, @dlmlufics, @thedistractedwriter

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[silv3rswirls]

Daddy kink/subspace with Chan

Kinktober day two

A link to the groups and prompts list

Warnings: female reader, daddy kink, subspace, mention of tears, slight overstimulation

“Feels good baby?”

Despite knowing your brain had gone fuzzy long ago, Chan still asked. You were in his lap, knees resting on either side of his and your arms hung loosely around his shoulders. Your head was nuzzled into his neck and breath hot against his skin as a few stray moans slipped out of you. His touch was soft and backed with care, fingers massaging your core and trying to coax another orgasm out of you for the night. You had lost count of how many you’d had, instead found yourself leaning to chan for support, melting in his gentle hold.

You whimper, grasping him a bit tighter when he slips a third finger into you and his thumb pressed against your aching clit. Your head spun as he went on, it felt too slow while at the same time felt like too much as a string of moans and gasps filled the otherwise quiet room. “Should I stop, baby?” His touch felt like heaven, gentle and loving with every caress of your skin and he kisses over the reddish marks darkening on your neck and shoulder. It almost makes his question completely fly over your head, but you managed a shake of your head.

“Wanna come again” you whine, voice soft and a bit tired. Chan smiles, bringing a hand up to brush away your hair and tuck it behind your ear. His thumb lingered to brush over your cheek a few times, tears of pleasure had dried on them long ago. “Please daddy” you add, and Chan can’t help but smile as you say it. He tips your head up a little more so that he can look into your eyes, which seem a bit distant, but still adoring him.

“Look at me” he reminds, “want to your face, baby girl.” You hung onto his words, whimpering as you came; overly sensitive and fucked out.

[treasure-my-aurora]

We’ve got Tonight

• Summary: I’d known Felix since before he was born. My tiny preschool hand would often press flat against his mother’s round belly while I looked up at her with surprised innocent eyes as the baby inside kicked against my hand. Known him as a brother, a best friend and a rock to lean against through my whole life. But now, in just a month, he’d be going away to train with some of the best in the industry, and with time running out, perhaps there is more than just platonic feelings between us… something that would bring up more pain, jealousy and sorrow than we could ever imagine.

♥ Pairing: Bang Chan/Reader/Felix

♦ Chapter: 9/9

♣ Words: 4009

♠ Genre (in this one): Fluff, angst

I was woken up by the sun hitting my face the next morning since no one bothered to pull down the blinds last night. Alone in the bed, still naked and a bit bruised up. Warm from deep comfortable sleep. Rolled out of bed and stretched with my arms high over my head before finding a matching pair of oversized clothes, Felix’s old ones, and staggered to the bathroom to wash my face and put my hair up in a bun before going into the kitchen. “Good morning” Chris said and took a sip of his coffee while locking his phone and put it aside. Felix sat on the other side of our small square shaped table, wearing clothes that I recognized as “mine” Clothes that I’d taken from him a few months back and I gave him a small smile when he met my eyes as well, traces of berry tea in the cup in front of him and I gulped hard while pouring a cup of coffee to myself as well. A bit scared that this was it. The inevitable. The final countdown. “We’ve… talked” Chris started and fiddled with the edge of his sleeve while I brought the cup to my lips and enjoyed the feeling of warm beverage spreading in my empty stomach, “Needless to say, yesterday was a one-time thing” He continued and I nodded a bit solemnly and searched for Felix eyes but he still avoided me. Kept his gaze locked on the porcelain cup on the table while tracing the lines of age along the edge of it. “You… uh… you need to make a choice, babe” Chris continued, and I snorted out a small laugh, like I couldn't believe what he was saying, “What? Based on performance?” I asked and Felix cleared his throat, sat up more properly, laced his fingers together and rested them on the table while looking up to meet my gaze. “I’m in love with you” It felt like I’d gotten punched, the unsure smile that had been playing on my lips disappeared and he only gave me a small sad smile, jaw clenched up while he watched how my face fell when the air was knocked out of me, “Wha- what?” I asked and tried to stabilise my breathing, and the way that my heart thumped so hard in my chest that I thought the two of them could hear it. “I’m in love with you” He repeated and shrugged, like the fact of the statement was the most obvious thing in the world, “I’ve been for some time now, for years really, even though I didn’t understand what it meant until just a few months ago” He sighed heavy and looked away, pondered for a few moments on how he should phrase himself, “I think it was somewhere between the times you sat up with me all night as I worked on the choreography that earned me the scholarship. When you made sure that I stayed hydrated and then helped bandage my feet afterwards. When you held me while I cried in pain. When you cooked for me the following days because I put every last drop of energy into dancing. Supported and cheered me on and I think I realised that I wanted it to last forever. I wanted more. More of your body against mine, more of your smile welcoming me at my door, more of the butterflies that I got in my stomach every time you reached out because you wanted my touch” He blushed slightly, squirmed a bit when he made eye contact with me again, but held his ground and didn’t let it waver, “I wanted every day to be like that again. With you at a home of our own. But I wanted more than just living with you. So, so much more that spending time with you almost became as painful as spending time away from you. I was… selfish. I wanted it all. Wanted more than just a small hug, or a moment of handholding, or to cuddle you while watching a movie. I wanted everything that Chris had. For you to press your lips against me. For you to get lost in pleasure while I  was the one rocking your body” He paused, on the way of just ranting everything he’d kept inside of him, but I just let him. Gulped hard and felt my fingers twitching, wanting desperately to reach out and hold him, “I was so angry- at everything that he just let go to waste because I thought that he couldn’t see you for who you are. That he couldn’t love you hard enough. I thought I was going to go crazy from all the moments that happened this summer… Like that time when we had that BBQ party and you showed up in that tiny dress that made all the hyung’s blush, winking at me from across the yard while Chris held his hand around your waist” He gulped again, a bit breathless and I winced, “And the way you looked in that bathing suit when we went swimming at the lake just a week later” He wet his lips nervously, “God, the way you’ve made me feel. I don’t even want you to know half of the things I’ve wanted to do. Things I’ve wanted to do since-” He stopped himself and I chewed on the inside of my lip, took a deep breath, went against the voice in my head that told me not to and placed my hand on his. Swallowed hard when he immediately laced our fingers together and gave me a small squeeze. A small hopeful smile on his lips while Chris shifted at my left. Felix sighed again, “And then we went camping last month and you told me with a sad smile that Chris had to stay at home. I really thought that I would make a move on you and just tell you how I felt as we stood at that small stony beach, all alone, while throwing flat rocks so they skipped on the water surface, but changed my way just as you talked about how bad you felt over the fact that Chris couldn’t join. It certainly send mixed reactions to my brain when you pressed up against me a few hours later that cold night, begging me to share my sleeping bag with you and I just… couldn’t do anything else but just oblige because the moon was making your hair shine and eyes glitter and I felt my heart ache and cock ache harder because you kept pressing up you bum against me” My heart skipped and a blush spread over my cheeks when I remember the gut wrenching feeling he spoke off. How I knew exactly what happened as well but didn’t want to make a big deal out of it back then because I was just a girl who pressed my body against his. “I thought I would confess to you there-” “But Chris called to bid me goodnight” I continued, and Felix nodded as I sighed. Rubbed my eyes tiredly and wet my lips before speaking up again, “I’ve always needed you. Always felt a happy obligation to take care of you. To make time and space in my schedule for you, not because I had to but because I wanted to. Because I had to see you. It’s always been like that… but I think that-” I rolled my eyes and felt how my cheeks flushed,” Dear god, I’m so stupid” I mumbled, “It has never been so deep… and I’ve never, ever felt jealous- but then you met that girl two weeks ago and I-” I paused, exhaled sharply and shook my head, like I wanted to remove the hurtful memories of him being with someone else. Felix cursed under his breath. Combed his fingers through his hair and leaned back against the backrest of the chair, a look on his face that told exactly how much he felt that he’d fucked up, “I’d never- I’d never continue meeting her if I knew how you felt” He looked up at me with deep regret and I felt guilt slashing at my heart, “Sorry. You didn’t know- I didn’t know- I should’ve never taken it up, fuck… I- sorry- I just-” I closed my eyes and let my head roll back while rubbing my face. Trying and failing to collect my thoughts, “These past weeks have been so, so intense. But I’ve never regretted it. Never wanted to take away a moment I spend with you. I- I can admit that maybe, because of the way my emotions have been rolling up and down like a rollercoaster… maybe there’s more” Chris shifted again, and I knew that he was looking at me, but I still refused to meet his eyes, “I… I’ve always loved you. You know that. It might just be that I- I don’t know- I don’t know how I feel…” I turned to Chris then and he gave me a small smile, because he already knew, “And honestly… I don’t know what I feel for you as well. There has just been so much fighting lately. So much jealousy, so many hurtful and unnecessary words said in anger. I want you both. I need you both in my life” I sighed and felt how my heart was aching as I looked down, fiddled with my nails as I spoke, “I- I know that I should do the right thing. To go with what everyone around us expects of me. To stay with Chris. To grow old together. Because there’s a smaller age difference between us. Because we’re a couple already. But then I look at you, Felix, and a dark and overpowering part of me is saying that you can’t be with anyone else. That you’re mine. That you’ve always been and just like that… I can’t choose- I can’t just pick one and regret that decision later on” Silence fell upon us and I swallowed hard, not knowing if I should say anything else or if it was too late, “I will go tomorrow” Felix said finally and gave me another small smile when I looked up. Surprised with the gentle tone in his voice, “Everything has been set up for me over there… and I will give you a week” He continued and I felt my stomach jolt, “Come to me, stay with Chris or choose neither, it’s in your hands now. We can’t prove how much we love you. No more words can. But we can’t live like this. You have to make a decision” I looked between them. Knew the truth in his words but a naive part of me still wanted to believe that our story could end happily. I mean… What wouldn’t I give for life to be like this? With Chris on my left. His fuzzy beach blonde hair in a mess, eyes still tired from sleep and fingertips tapping on the wooden table- restless, bouncy. But everything I needed to have a successful,  locked and loaded future. Someone to build a family with. Someone with a heart of gold, someone that had treated me right for five years and would probably continue to do so for as long as I’d let him. Trustworthy, and with the economic security that I felt I needed if I didn’t want to find a new job or go back to school. Felix on my right. The weak morning sun outside almost gave him a halo of soft purple hue and I felt my heart clench when I watched him. His hand in mine. His heart within mine. Half of his soul edged into mine with tiny hooks that never wanted to let go. I wouldn’t be me if it weren’t for him. Wouldn’t be complete… Or would I? I’d never known anything else. He was what I craved, like a drug. What would it be like if I stopped giving my body that supply? I know that I’d be able to go on. It would be though, like any detox, but I’d survive. The thing was just… I didn’t want to. I wanted him, needed him. Like oxygen, and water and it was cliché and stupid and I cursed myself but fuck… I couldn’t see my life, my days, without him. Even though he was anything else than what I, the logical part of me, needed. No real job, on his way to pursue a dream that might just as well get overrun if he doesn’t work hard enough… and so, so young that I feared that we’d never even have a chance because our way of thinking, on life and what to do, was so different. I wished, in a perfect dream, that I could live just like this. In harmony, with both of them. Without the need to choose. Without the pain, the heartbreak, the anxiety. Without the heavy feeling, the fact that whoever I’d choose, in the end, I’ll regret it forever. That this would be it, with one on each arm. With the fact that I could love them both. That I could have them both. - “Promise that you will write to me, and call me and video chat with me every chance you get” I said with a shaky voice, the words almost got drowned out by the buzz of people and a lady’s voice on the speaker, announcing the departure for Felix’s flight and urged all passengers to come to the gate, “I promise, even though it will be hours between us and you’ll most likely be asleep when I call” “I don’t care” I whispered and felt how tears were already streaming down my cheeks when he closed his arms closer around me. Buried my nose in the crook of his neck, inhaled deeply and he only squirmed slightly to the ticklish feeling. “I love you so much, don’t forget that” He said softly and swallowed, and I choked on my tears, “I love you too” I croaked out and he separated us slightly, just enough to look at me and smiled through the tears of his own while he wiped away mine, “Give me a smile, love, I don’t want that sulking, sad face to be the last one I see before I go” “How do you expect me to smile when you’re going away. My heart is getting ripped in two” I sobbed, and he glanced behind me, only for a moment, and I looked back just in time for Chris to turn around and Felix to place his hand on my cheek. Barely gave me time to react before he pressed his lips on mine. Completely taking my breath away in the process. It was sweet, and he embraced me even tighter, pressing me closer with the hand on my cheek and I melted to putty in his arms. There were several surprised gasps behind me, and I knew that I, and Chris, would have some explaining to do to all of our friends that were with us to say Goodbye as well. As soon as it happened, it was over, and I sighed deeply when I opened my eyes to meet his again. A small smile tugging on my lips and he flicked his thumb underneath my chin in an endearing way with a small smile of his own, “There we go, keep that smile until I come back now, ok? I don’t want you to mourn the time we don’t have-” “And I don’t want you to forget about me” I answered, and he held out his pinkie, “And I want you to remember that I’m yours-” “I’m yours” We finished the last word together before touching thumbs to seal the promise. - One day passed and I couldn’t let go of my phone, anxiously waiting for the message that would assure me that he’d arrived safely. It plopped down in my inbox just before midnight with a photo of his one-bedroom apartment, ‘I’m here. Tired as hell and ready to work. Already miss you so much I find it hard to breathe when I remember that I can’t just reach out and find you there’. I had to let the message rest for a couple of minutes. Breathed hard through my nose to calm my racing heart and Chris looked at me with a worried glance from across the living room, where he sat at the edge of the sofa. He’d been reserved all day; gave me space and I was thankful. I honestly don’t think that I’d be able to deal with his touch at the moment. Messaged back something incoherent about us 'Being able to get through this' But was unsure if he’d believe the words any more than I did. I went to bed but couldn’t properly sleep. Drifted in and out of consciousness the whole night while reaching out for a body that I knew wasn’t there. - Two days passed and Chris rocked me silently. Hushed out a whisper that I’ll be ok, that it would only be a few months, but it hurt. Everything hurt. My body, my soul. Like a part of me had actually been ripped away and I was told that I’d be able to survive when I could clearly feel the gaping hole in my heart that pulsated with pain with every beat. The day passed in a frenzy and I begged of Chris to take the pain away. To make me forget about my best friend, if only for a moment. - Sex was a way to cope. It wasn’t the best. I knew that. I just wanted the pain to go away and Chris seemed to understand that I wasn’t getting better when another two days passed, and I began to undress him the moment he walked through the door. Not even saying hello before eager hands unbuttoned his pants and he stopped my movements with his fingers around my wrists. “Babe, I can’t live like this anymore” He said and sighed heavy. “What?” I asked, confused as to why he suddenly questioned my high libido when he’d never protested before and he let go of my hands to button himself up again, hung his jacket and motioned for me to join him in the living room. “I will most likely regret this forever but…“ He sighed while sitting us down on the sofa and interlaced our fingers, “You haven’t really chosen yet. You’re just… procrastinating your own emotions and even though it was nice at first- I can’t take being a tool or a coping mechanism for you, and for the way you feel” “I- I thought you didn’t mind the sex” I said, a bit embarrassed and he wet his lips, almost nervously, “I don’t mind the sex. I just- mind the way… the way my girlfriend don’t even look me in the eye before she jumps me anymore. I want you to be with me because you want to have me close, not because-” “Because it takes my mind off things” I whispered back and felt how guilt swallowed me up. It was never my intention to use him, but I had to admit that I did do so out of selfish reasons more so than to give him pleasure as well. “I want you to choose me. I don’t think that I can stress that enough. But I can’t live with you if we continue down the path we walk right now. I can’t live like a coping mechanism for you to be able to survive. I can’t-” He paused and squeezed my hands and I half expected him to burst into tears, but he just took a deep breath and gave me a smile. A sad one, one that had accepted the inevitable, “You need to be with him, babe. I- I was wrong when I said that you’d be fine. You won’t. You need him, just as much as he needs you-” “No, I-” I protested but he only shook his head, “I know that I lost you, the very moment I watched your eyes change after the two of you kissed three weeks ago. I’ve tried so hard, twisted and turned the truth so hard it became a false reassure that I could lean on. I said it to you, weeks ago, that you’re soulmates-” He shrugged and I felt tears wet my cheeks to the hopelessness that shadowed his face, “You are two side of the same coin and I can see how much it hurts you to be without him. I want you to be happy. That’s all I’ve ever wanted. I just thought that I could be the one that could give you that” “You have given me that” I sobbed out and he nodded, tears in his eyes now as well, “It’s been a good few years, but it’s ok. I love you enough to know. Enough to let you go” - My heart was beating hard and butterflies threatened to glogg my throat when I knocked on the wooden door. A suitcase neatly packed with enough clothes to rest me a week swung over my shoulder and I was shuddering, even though the wind that blew through my light clothes were warm. “What?” A sleepy figure opened the door and I had to clench my jaw to not scream out with happiness. “Surprise” I said instead, and the figure took another step forward, blinked a few times like he wanted to be sure of what he was seeing. The freckles on his face were already lighter from the soft tan over his cheeks. Hair ruffled, the lilac colour had faded, and it was a bit greasy, like he’d swum through saltwater just before going to bed. A pair of shorts hung low on his hips and the lack of shirt left me breathless, but I held my ground, nervous for the fact that the seventh day had already passed, if only barely. “Noona?” The raspy voice of his asked and I nodded. “I- I-” I started but couldn’t finish because he immediately closed his arms around me, almost lifted me off the ground when he hugged me close and my mind went blank because I was in his arms again, I was home again, even though my heart still ached with sorrow for what could have been, for the memories of a love with a man that had been doomed from the start. For all the problems that awaited me at home. I was here now, and Felix lips were as soft as they’d ever been against mine when he closed the distance between us. It consumed me. The way that he felt against me, the way he smelled, the way he tasted. He immediately pulled me inside the apartment, not breaking the kiss in the process while leading me almost blindly. The back of my knees hit the edge of a sofa and I yelped out from surprise when I fell back. He joined me before I had time to blink, and I sobbed out against his lips when his breath hitched as my fingers combed through his hair. “I love you. I love you so much” He whispered against my lips and it felt like my heart was going to explode when he raised himself up a few centimetres and I met his eyes. “I love you too” I said back and the words, spoken with the intention I had, one that promised him that this was only just the beginning, made him smile brightly before he leaned down again. Unable to stop himself from claiming months of lost kisses. This is what I wanted, what my heart wanted, a life with the one that had always been there. With the person that began just before I ended. Because he was me and I was him. Now and forever.

[stayteezdreams]

Trick or Treat

Plot: You ask Chris to help you decorate for a Halloween party and get much more than you bargained for.

Pairing: Christopher Bang Chan x Gn!Reader

Request: “Trick or treat?” “…Depends on if you’re the treat or not.” + 26: "Why is there mistletoe in the doorway?" "You told me to decorate." "Its Halloween!"

Requested by: @important-business

Warnings: Nothing except a kiss or two.

Words: 2.5k

Staring at the various boxes in front of you, you cursed your past self for failing to label the boxes anything other than 'Decorations'. Now you were suffering from your own self-appointed karma as you waited to decorate for your Halloween party the day of.

In a panicked state, you texted Chris and asked if he could help. Luckily for you, he was free. Pushing aside a few boxes you already sifted through, you huffed as you pulled open another box to reveal Christmas garland and various other Christmas decorations.

"Dammit" You muttered, just as you heard the doorbell.

Pulling open the door, you ignored the way your heart fluttered at the sight of Chris. He had his hands behind his back and a far-too-familiar cheeky grin on his face.

"Trick or Treat?!" He said cheerfully as you stared at him.

"Depends on if you're the treat or not."

You saw surprise cross his face for a second before he grinned again, "Y/n, are you flirting with me?" He wiggled his eyebrows.

You repressed a laugh, "Actually I was insulting you."

His face fell. "Hey!" He barked, making you laugh before he pouted and pulled out the two drinks he had hidden behind his back.

"Ooh." You smiling gleefully as he handed you your favorite drink.

"What would the trick have been?"

"Not telling." He said defiantly and you rolled your eyes.

He halted in your living room as he looked around. "How many decorations do you have?"

You had explained when you texted him that you hadn't labeled any of the boxes in your storage. He didn't seemed fazed by the problem, but now as he looked around at the chaos, he was starting to understand your panic.

"I like to collect things." You mumbled as you sipped your drink.

Chris stared at you for a minute and felt his chest grown warm. Pushing it aside, he shook his head and chuckled.

"You need to learn how to stop buying new decorations."

You gasped. "One of the best parts of each holiday is buying new decorations!"

"Then get rid of the old ones!" He laughed and you glared, not liking any of the options he was offering.

"You said you were coming to help me not judge me."

He chuckled and rose his hands up, "Okay okay, no more judging."

He watched as you set down your drink with a smile before kneeling down to open some boxes. He caught himself staring at you a bit longer than he meant as you began to look over at him. Quickly hurrying to join you, he pushed aside his rising feelings as he decided to just enjoy this chance at being with you.

The others had offered to come help, but Chris declined their help without telling you. It had been a while since he was able to hang out with you alone, and since he had figured out he had feelings for you, it was all he wanted to do.

Your eyes lingered on Chris for a moment as he began opening a few boxes. You swore he had been staring at you. The idea made you feel butterflies, as your cheeks felt warm, but you pushed it aside.

It wasn't the first time you had noticed that you reacted this way around Chris recently. You knew deep down you were developing feelings for Chris, but you refused to acknowledged it. Because you didn't understand why.

Why now? After all these years of being friends. The fear of ruining your friendship over unrequited feelings scared you. Losing Chris that way was not worth it.

These thoughts continued to plague you as your eyes drifted to Chris repeatedly over the next two hours. Anytime he would laugh, your heart would jump. If you caught him looking at you, your neck and ears burned hot.

You let out a soft sigh as you stretched your arm out, trying to hang some orange and black garland. Your arm wasn't long enough to hold one end and hang the other. You were about to give up, when you suddenly felt Chris brush up behind you.

"Here, let me help." His voice was soft as his breath tickled your neck.

His chest pressed lightly against your back as he took the garland from your hand, his fingers brushing over yours. You stared at him in silent shock as he hung the garland where you had been trying too before he looked back over at you. He had a soft smile on his lips, but it faltered when his eyes caught yours.

You felt tension rising between you as you stared silently at each other. Just as you thought you saw his eyes flicking down to your lips, you stepped away.

"Thanks" You smiled, brushing off the interaction.

Chris watched as you shuffled over to the rest of the garland before draping it around the room. His heart was hammering in his chest as he thought back on what just happened.

He swore there was something in your eyes reflecting what he was feeling. The way electricity sparked through him as your eyes locked. But you pulled away. So was he wrong, did you actually feel nothing?

After another half hour of decorating, as Halloween music continued playing in the background, you sighed as you looked around.

Chris walked in beside you. "Looks pretty good huh?"

He nodded his head, "Very nice!"

You smiled over at him and felt your chest tighten as he smiled at you almost mischievously.

"What?" You asked as you saw something gleaming in his eyes.

"You should check the kitchen out, I think I did a pretty good job."

"Oh yeah?"

He nodded as he tilted his head towards you and you chuckled. "I'll be the judge of that."

You marched towards the kitchen as Chris followed with a grin, though his heart was beating a bit faster than before.

You eyed the various decorations littering the room. Choosing to ignore the precarious positions he placed the member skzoo dolls in. Though you failed to not laugh as you noticed Seungmin's doll hanging from the cupboard by a spider web.

Finally, your eyes landed on the decoration Chris was most proud of.

You stared at it for a moment before speaking. Your tone low, "Why is there mistletoe in the doorway?"

Chris bounced on his feet innocently. "You told me to decorate."

You could barely repressed the amusement in your voice, "It's Halloween!"

"Come on its funny!" He said with a grin and you couldn't help but chuckle.

You eyed it for another moment, trying to ignore the uneven beating pattern of your heart.

"It is kind of funny." You mumbled in admission.

"Ha, I knew it!" He laughed.

You shook your head as you grinned over at him. "I need to take out the food, people should start arriving soon."

Chris nodded as he followed to help you out. "The boys texted saying they were on their way."

His eyes glanced over at the mistletoe as he smiled, before eyeing you subtly.

You let out a proud sigh as you looked over the kitchen at all of the food one more time before peaking into the living room.

"Okay, that should be everything." You said mostly to yourself but Chris approached you with a soft nod.

You smiled at him and noticed the way he was repressing a smile. He continued to approach, before stopping directly in front of you.

You blinked a few times, "What?" Your voice came out as a soft, almost shy whisper and Chris couldn't help himself.

Suddenly leaning down, he pressed a kiss to your lips, catching you by surprise as you let out a soft gasp.

When your eyes met again when he pulled away from you, you stared at him in confusion as your heart raced. He motioned his head upwards and you glanced up, eyes finding the mistletoe hanging above your head.

You met his eyes again and he smiled, just as the doorbell rang.

He glanced past you before meeting your eyes again. "I'll get it"

You remained still in your spot for a moment as you felt too stunned to react. Hearing Han's voice loudly fill your house you tried to shake yourself out of the trance you seemed to be placed under.

It was just a joke kiss because of the mistletoe. That was what you would continue to tell yourself. That was all it was.

No matter how many times you tried to distract yourself you often found yourself thinking back on the kiss with Chris.

Due to your racing thoughts, you found yourself avoiding him during the party. But even as you did, you found yourself watching him from across the room many times throughout the night.

Why did he do it? He didn't know about your growing feelings for him, or how confused you were. So it wasn't right to blame him for making you even more confused. But you could't help the mixed emotions that coursed through you.

When the last few people shuffled out of your house and into their Ubers a few hours later, you began to assess the damage left behind. Most people were courteous enough to clean up after themselves, but as the night went on and the more drunk people got, the less they did. So food and trash still littered your house.

Cleaning will help distract me before I head to bed.

Walking over to the kitchen, you rounded the corner and jumped with a gasp as you nearly ran into someone.

Chris chuckled out an apology as you let out a deep breath, "I didn't know you were still here."

"I was gonna help you clean." He smiled down at you.

You felt your chest tighten as you heart beat heavily in your chest. It wasn't butterflies and shyness now, but instead, affliction and confusion.

"That's okay! You helped decorate, you really don't need to stay." You walked past him and he watched you with a concerned stare.

Oh God, what did I do.

His chest tightened as he felt guilt wash over him. He couldn't resist kissing you earlier, and he felt so happy that he did it. But seeing you now, and seeing how you avoided him during the party made his heart hurt. Did he make you uncomfortable? Did he overstep? Had he really convinced himself that you felt something you didn't?

"Y/n." His voice came out soft, but serious.

You paused as you placed some glasses in the sink, you were facing away from him.

"Yeah?" You asked nonchalantly, hoping the conversation would end quickly.

"I'm sorry about earlier." He slowly walked up to you. "I can see it made you uncomfortable, I really didn't mean for that to happen."

You let out a breath as your chest tightened again. You let out a soft laugh, "It's okay Chris, it didn't make me uncomfortable, it just... surprised me is all."

Chris gently grabbed your shoulders, making you turn to face him. As you shyly avoided his gaze, he latched onto the hope still lingering in his mind.

"Surprised in a bad way?"

You met his eyes and furrowed your brow. "Uhm...I don't know?"

In all honestly you didn't know. Previously, if the idea of kissing Chris came to mind, you pushed it away with confusion. When he did kiss you, your heart leapt and you didn't know how to react. After he kissed you, you realized it was something you wanted. But the idea that he only did it as a joke hurt you.

"Y/n. I was selfish."

When he knew he had your attention, he continued, his heart beating so hard it almost hurt. He kept his hand on your arms as he gently rubbed circles into your skin with his thumb. To comfort you or himself, he wasn't sure.

"I hung the mistletoe in the kitchen because I wanted an excuse to kiss you. But I was too selfish to think about how it might make you feel. I was so focused on my feelings and how they've changed that I didn't think that you wouldn't feel them at all. I'm sorry."

You stared at him in shock as you processed his words. He watched you patiently as you slowly found your words.

"I thought... you just did it as a joke."

He shook his head softly as pain and guilt coursed through him.

"That's why... I was kind of hurt by it. Honestly Chris, my feelings for you have changed too. But I was afraid."

"Afraid of what?" His voice was soft patient, not showing the excitement growing in his chest.

"Of how our friendship might change. I was too afraid that I would lose you, so I repressed how I was feeling. That's why I'm afraid. If it doesn't work out... I don't want to lose you, I can't.

He shook his head and pulled you into a hug and held you close.

"You could never lose me, no matter what. I think it's only natural our feelings changed. We've been so close for so long, it just feels...right."

He pulled away and looked into your eyes, gently caressed your cheek.

"But if you aren't sure yet, if you're still too scared. I'll wait. I'll wait forever if I need too. If you decide you just want to stay friends, I will never leave you. I will still be your best-friend Chris. And if... if you decide to embrace these feelings, I'll be right here, ready and willing to be boyfriend Chris."

You couldn't help but giggle, and he grinned at you. You nodded softly as you thought over his words.

"I wont make you wait for long, I promise."

He nodded as he pressed a kiss to your forehead. "I'll be here."

Chris helped you clean up the house in silence. The tension between you wasn't uncomfortable, but your conversation hung in the air.

With the house finally clean, you walked Chris to the door. He looked back at you with a smile and your heart fluttered.

"Chris."

"Yeah?"

"I don't want you to wait."

He rose his brow and you could tell he was nervous at your sudden confession.

"Does that mean..."

You nervously looked down at your feet as you spoke. "I know what I feel. And I know it wont change, no matter how long I wait. So... if you really are ready to be boyfriend Chris..."

Bringing your eyes back up, your heart jolted at the wide grin on his face. You couldn't help but smile.

He stepped towards you and cupped your cheek. "I am ready."

You let out a soft giggle. "I am too."

He leaned closer, his nose brushing yours. "Can I kiss you?"

"Oh, asking this time huh?"

He chuckled and shook his head sheepishly and you giggled.

"Yes Chris, you can kiss me."

With a grin, he closed the distance and kissed you softly and slowly. This time you could feel all the pent up emotions between the two of you coming to the surface.

You were glad you didn't wait. You knew this was right, just like Chris had said. And you couldn't be any happier.

xx End xx

Not really Halloween focused, buuut, I hope you liked it lol

General Taglist: @otsilliak, @brattybunfornct, @bahng-chrizz, @otakutrash669

SKZ Taglist: @laylasbunbunny, @skz1-4-3, @prettymiye0n, @thunderous-wolf

[knottyroseswrites]

What I Don’t Have (is what you are made of)

Reader/Bang Chan | Rated E | Chaptered

Posting on AO3!

https://archiveofourown.org/works/50814673/chapters/128369722

[stayteezdreams]

Surprising Chris for his birthday {Fake Texts}

Surprising Chris on his birthday - Fake Texts

Pairing: Chris/Bang Chan x Gn!Reader

Warnings: N/a

A/n: I messed up the time in the first two photos so I just cut that part off instead of re-doing it, so don't mind that! Also this is not great lol, I forgot it was Chris's birthday and ~panicked~ So I did this real quick

General Taglist: @otsilliak, @brattybunfornct, @bahng-chrizz

Skz Taglist: @laylasbunbunny, @skz1-4-3, @prettymiye0n

[knottyroseswrites]

I think I might do promo for my new fic here instead of twt. I just feel like the audience for a Bang Chan/Reader fic might actually be Tumblr. Also I think im not gunna be crucified about it over here 😂

[stayteezdreams]

Spoiled With Love

Plot: Chris decides the best way to spend your birthday is by spoiling you as much as he can

Pairing: Christopher/Bang Chan x Gn!Reader

Requested by @thunderous-wolf

Warnings(?): Use of pet-names and a lot of fluff

Words: 1.4k

You rushed to the door with glee before yanking it open. Your smile turned to amusement as Chris stood at your doorstep, arms full with various bags and boxes.

"Wha- Chris, this seems like a lot more than just breakfast."

Even while struggling Chris had a bright smile on his face. "It's your birthday, I'm spoiling you!"

Moving aside as he came in, you let out a chuckle, "It's too much Chris!"

He giggled, "It's not all breakfast, it's other stuff too, which you will find out about later."

Placing everything down on the kitchen counter he grinned before turning to you. Stepping forward he pressed a kiss to your forehead, then to your cheek, then to your nose, before finally kissing you on the lips.

When he pulled away you grinned at each other. "Happy Birthday baby."

You smiled before pecking his lips in return. "Thank you."

Grabbing you by your shoulders, he spun you around before leading you towards the living room. "Now, go hang out in the living room while I set things up."

"What? Don't you want help?"

"Nope, it needs to be a surprise."

"But-"

He plopped you down on the couch before pointing a finger in warning at you. "No buts! And no peeking."

You pouted before a smile broke out, "Fine, I'll wait here."

He grinned and nodded before running back into the kitchen happily, making you giggle.

Not long passed before you heard the sound of toppling objects and a few whispered curses. You peered towards the kitchen before calling out.

"You sure you don't need help?"

"Everything's fine!" He yelled back, obviously panicked, making you roll your eyes and chuckle under your breath.

Your stomach was filled with butterflies as you wondered what exactly Chris was doing. He always tried to spoil you, especially on occasions like birthdays. And as many times as you told him there was no need, it always made you feel special.

A hundred tik-toks later, and the smell of food filling the living room making you hungry, Chris finally appeared, a bit breathless but smiling. "Alright, it's ready!"

You grinned as you stood up, taking his hand that he had reached out towards you. As you followed him into the kitchen, you grinned at the sight in front of you.

Lied out across the kitchen counter were trays of various foods. Pastries and fruit you could tell came from somewhere expensive, your favorite breakfast foods, and coffee all set up for the two of you to enjoy.

At the edge of the table sat a beautiful bouquet of flowers, balloons, a large card and a few bag and boxes you figured were the presents you told him not to spend too much on.

Turning to Chris you hugged him, "Thank you, I love it. It all looks so great!"

He pecked your nose, "I'm glad. The card is signed by all of the guys."

You smiled as you looked over at the card.

"And the presents are for later." He added on.

You let out a dramatic gasp, "What so I get to look at them, but not open them?"

He nodded and you pouted, "Mean."

He chuckled, "Lets eat before it gets cold okay?"

You nodded as you sat own, his hand resting on your leg as you picked at various foods.

"Where are these from?" You asked with a groan as you ate a delicious scone.

"Not telling!"

You glared at him, knowing it was because he didn't want you to know how much he had spent on you.

"But it's so good, I might want to get some more!"

"I'll buy you as many as you want." He countered and you playfully glared at him, making him chuckle.

You quickly gave up, knowing you wouldn't win and read through all of the messages from the boys in the card as you ate. You smiled at each message and joke, and felt your chest grow warm.

When you were full from all of the food, you helped pack up the rest of the pastries and fruit for later. Suddenly, Chris wrapped his arms around you from behind and you grinned before you squeezed his arms with your hands.

"Okay, you can open one present, but just one okay?"

You grinned at him and nodded. "Do I get to pick?"

He nodded and you waddled over to the presents as he remained attached to you.

He giggled as you hummed, trying to decide which one to open first. Grabbing the biggest box, you drug it towards you and he chuckled.

"I knew you'd go for that one."

When you finally got the box open, you found it was full of all of your favorite teas. Some bags, some loose leaf. You grinned and looked over at him.

"These are all my favorites!"

"Of course they are!" He said with a grin, "Any time you tell me something is your favorite I make sure to remember it."

You felt warmth fill you as you pressed a kiss to his cheek. "You're too sweet. Thank you."

He caressed the side of your face, "You're welcome baby. I love you. Do you want to have some before we go?"

"Go?" You asked perplexed and you saw realization cross his features.

"Did I not tell you we were going out?" You shook your head and he hissed, "Oops."

"Chris!" You said half-serious as you lightly smacked his shoulder.

"Sorry sorry! But I promise you'll enjoy it okay?"

You hummed under your breath, as excitement secretly coursed through you.

The surprise trip consisted of an hour long drive filled with laughter and karaoke. When you arrived, it was at a large and beautiful nature park. You walked, and talked, took photos, ate ice cream, saw various animals, and had some drinks at an outdoor cafe before having lunch at a nearby restaurant Chris had reserved previously.

You climbed back in the car after a few hours, a few trinkets and a plush Chris bought you in hand, ready for the ride back home. Which seemed to pass much quicker than the ride there, though you weren't sure if you preferred that or not.

By the time you had gotten home, you were already starting to build up an appetite for dinner, which you knew would be shared with the others, who planned to come by later to celebrate with you.

Chris had told you previously, that the day was just for you and him, while the evening could be with everyone. You were perfectly okay with the idea, as you loved nothing more than spending time with Chris. And so far your birthday had been perfect.

Back home, you sat down on the couch as Chris ran off to the kitchen. You were confused by this, until he came back out with your presents in hand.

He grinned at you, "Time for prezzies!"

"Prezzies?" You asked with a laugh and he just chuckled.

In the first two presents, there was cute stationary for your office, and some of your favorite fragrances. The next two presents made you feel more emotional however.

The first was a jacket that matched one of his. It was one you adored, but often complained about being too big for you to properly wear.

When you pulled it on, his familiar smell washed over you. "You sprayed it with your cologne?"

He nodded with a smile "So it'll be like you're wearing mine."

You grinned, kissing him on the cheek. He slid over the last present, something in a small bag. Inside was a beautiful bracelet, as you admired it, Chris pulled up his own sleeve, to reveal he was wearing a matching one.

"You got us couple bracelets?" You grinned, feeling a bit emotional.

Chris noticing this, cooed at you before pulling you into his chest, "So cute." He teased.

"Shhh" You shushed him but wrapped your arms round his neck and pressed another kiss to his cheek. "I love it Chris, I love everything, thank you."

"You're welcome baby."

"I love you."

"I love you too."

The rest of the evening went just as well, when the boys showed up with their loud cheers and various out-of-tune birthday songs. You received various presents from them, ranging from a painting by Hyunjin, to a creepy doll from Lee Know that you were certain was haunted.

To end the night, Chris brought out a beautiful cake for you that he had apparently hid in the fridge to surprise you.

You couldn't feel more special, spoiled, or happy than today, and you knew it was all because of Chris. Well, and a little bit because of the boys, but you'd never give them too much credit, you'd never hear the end of it

xx End xx

<3 <3

General Taglist: @otsilliak

Stray Kids Taglist: @laylasbunbunny, @skz1-4-3, @prettymiye0n

[stayteezdreams]

Mans Chan's Best Friend: Part One

Plot: Chan makes a furry new friend when on the walk in the park, and he can't keep his eyes off their owner.

-Part Two-

Pairing: Christopher/Bang Chan x Gn!Reader

-Meet-Cute Series-

Words: 1.3k; it came out so much shorter than I wanted 😩

Your anxieties began to lessen as you noticed the lack of people in the park today. You had feared Cocoa might get to overwhelmed with crowds or strange dogs on his first walk in public. Luckily, you seemed to pick a good time when here were few people out.

As Cocoa sniffed and inspected every tree, bench and trashcan you came across, you breathed in the fresh air. Looking around, your eyes landed on someone walking your direction.

Even from a distance you could tell he was attractive. You slowed your pace a bit as he walked closer, he seemed to be distracted by something across the street. You took the opportunity to shamelessly check him out as he got closer, before you looked back at Cocoa.

Cocoa, seemed to notice the stranger at this moment as he suddenly darted towards him. Your heart spiked a bit as you called out to him.

"Cocoa no!"

Chris's attention was taken from the shop across the street as he heard a voice call out. Looking back he saw a small brown dog run up to him.

He immediately grinned at the sight, always happy to be approached by a cute dog. Before he knew it, the small dog was running around Chris's legs furiously sniffing him as the leash tied him up.

Chris let out a chuckle as your embarrassed voice spoke up, stealing Chris's attention.

"I'm so sorry! Cocoa, no, stop!"

As Chris looked up at you, he felt his heart skip a beat as he froze. He hadn't really noticed you until this moment as you were only a foot away, trying desperately to free him from your dogs snare.

Your eyes met the mans and you felt your face heat up. Your eyes remained locked in stillness for a moment. He was even more attractive up close. Why was it always the attractive ones that saw you in an embarrassing situations? You cursed your luck as you apologized again.

"Uh- I'm really sorry, this is his first walk out in public" You laughed awkwardly as you pulled your eyes away from his, your heart hammering in your chest.

Chris giggled, his eyes not leaving your face, "It's okay, really!"

"Let me just- sorry" You began to circle around him, untying yourself and Cocoa from him as Cocoa wagged is tail relentlessly as he tried to get the man's attention.

Chris smiled gleefully at the situation as he watched you try to free him from your dog's leash. You were clearly embarrassed by the situation, but Chris couldn't help but chuckle.

Not only was your dog adorable, but you were pretty cute yourself. And Chris only thought it more as he watched you.

As you ended up circling him a few times, only for Cocoa to do the same, leaving Chris still entangled, he giggled.

"Here, let me." he said softly as he reached for the leash.

You handed it to him, while pretending the way his hands brushed your's didn't send your heart into a flurry.

Chris giggled at the puppy's excited behavior as he untangled himself from the leash.

"There we go!" he said cheerfully as he handed the leash back to you.

You whispered a thank you as you smiled bashfully at him.

He grinned at you as he crouched down, petting Cocoa "You're a little menace aren't you?"

You were surprised by his accent, but found it even more attractive. He looked up at you "What's his name?"

"Oh, Cocoa!"

He smiled "Cocoa, cute!"

As he pet Cocoa, you found yourself admiring him again. He seemed nice, and you were glad he didn't get upset about Cocoa's behavior.

"You remind me of my dog Berry" Chris said as he continued to pet Cocoa, his voice a higher pitch than normal, making you smile at you watched him.

"Berry?" You asked softly, hoping to kill some of your awkardnes.

He nodded as he looked over at you momentarily "Yeah, he's back in Australia though so I don't get to see him often."

You nodded sympathetically "That must be hard."

He nodded softly "It can be." looking back at you he grinned, and you felt your stomach swirl. "I'm Chris."

"Oh, I'm Y/n."

He stood up, and wiped his hands on his pants before reaching out his hand for you to take. You shook it with a shy smile as he continued to smile brightly at you.

"Is he the first dog you've had?"

"Yes and no" you chuckled "The first dog I've had on my own. I had dogs growing up though."

He nodded in understanding "Puppy's can be a lot of work that's for sure."

"I'm beginning to understand that. Sorry again by the way, I was...distracted when he ran up to you, I should have stopped him sooner."

He lifted his hands dismissively "Don't worry about it, it was a nice surprise actually."

You nodded your head, feeling your shyness begin to take hold again as you looked down at Cocoa, who had now found something interested in a patch of grass.

Chris seemed to notice your shyness, and as cute as he thought it was, he feared you might be preparing to run off.

He cleared his throat "So, I walk in the park a lot and I've never seen you before, are you new to the area?" he asked genuinely curious, and hopeful that this might not be just a one time meeting.

"I've been here a while actually, I just never really came to this park much." you looked down at Cocoa "But now I have a reason too"

"So you'll be coming more often then?"

You nodded, wondering why he was so interested, as your stomach did flips. Was he interested in you? Or just Cocoa?

"Good good." He said with a grin "So maybe I'll see you and Cocoa again?"

You smiled, feeling your neck and face heat up "Probably, yeah. I was planning on coming most days when I'm not at work."

Chris nodded, trying to act nonchalant, but failing miserably when he scratched th back of his neck "What times- I mean, I uh- the park is usually really nice around this time every day, and the evening, those are when I often walk around. And uh, when I would recommend you come out."

You smiled, noting his awkwardness as you accepted that it was you he was in fact interested in.

"I think this time every day works. But, uh, what time in the evenings would you suggest? In case, I can't come out at this time." you asked casually.

"Oh, uhm, around five. It's not too late, but most people are at home after work, relaxing."

You nodded "Five is a good time. I think I might try it out, see how Cocoa likes it."

Chris nodded, trying to repress a smile "Good, yeah."

He cleared his throat again before he noticed the time on his watch. His heart jumped a bit as he realized he was running late.

You noticed the look on his face as he checked his watch "Late?"

He looked up at you and smiled before nodding "I should go"

Reaching down as he pet Cocoa he looked back to you and smiled "So...if, by chance, I ran into you tomorrow again, around five...would you mind be tagging along for your walk?"

You smiled as you shuffled on your feet shyly "I wouldn't mind."

He grinned and nodded "Good." he began to walk backwards "See you then, well, I mean if-"

"If you, are by chance here at five?"

He let out a laugh "Yeah."

You nodded and giggled "Yeah, okay. See you then. Maybe."

He grinned and turned to leave after chuckling "Bye."

As he walked off, he looked back at you once before he left the park, a smile still present on his face.

You grinned to yourself as you looked down at Cocoa. "What are you my wingman or something?"

xx End xx

Sorry for the abrupt ending but I suck at them lmao. I hope you liked it~

-Part Two-

General Skz Taglist: @laylasbunbunny

Series Taglist: @bubblesreplies, @halesandy, @why-am-i-sad, @sourmooonlight, @jaeheekangslover, @seungminsdreamwife, @thesunsfullmoon, @ink-spilled-stars, @jisunglyricist, @marcillfll

[treasure-my-aurora]

We’ve got Tonight

• Summary: I’d known Felix since before he was born. My tiny preschool hand would often press flat against his mother’s round belly while I looked up at her with surprised innocent eyes as the baby inside kicked against my hand. Known him as a brother, a best friend and a rock to lean against through my whole life. But now, in just a month, he’d be going away to train with some of the best in the industry, and with time running out, perhaps there is more than just platonic feelings between us… something that would bring up more pain, jealousy and sorrow than we could ever imagine.

♥ Pairing: Bang Chan/Reader/Felix

♦ Chapter: 8/9

♣ Words: 9171

♠ Genre (in this one): Smut. Pure filth. That’s it (Threesome)

30 minutes passed and I had to admit that subject was interesting for the ones that joined in on the conversation. Hyunjin, Woojin and Chris started nicking off within 15 minutes though and that’s when they decided that it was time to go. The next minutes were spent still talking while finding shoes, phones, distributing the alcohol and snacks that were theirs and I exhaled deeply when the front door finally closed. Tired, not exactly sober yet but not nearly as drunk as I was close to two hours ago. “Finally alone” Chris purred in my ear and I froze when all of my hair in the back of my neck stood up from the surprise. I hadn’t heard that he’d sneaked up on me even though the corridor between the entrance hallway and our living room was at least three meters. “Not really though” I answered and held onto the arm that was wrapped around my midriff while nodding toward the living room where Felix still were. “He’s basically half asleep. I’m thinking that we’ll just leave him there, you know. It’s late and our sofa is comfortable enough. Come on, let’s go to bed” I snorted out a small chuckle and let him lead me into our bedroom with lazy steps. Yawned and allowed him to undress me with soft, gentle hands. Not even feeling like fussing over the fact that it was late, and I was tired when he pressed his frame against mine. Too warm and comfortable in my own skin to protest when he laid me down on the bed and began peppering my body with sweet kisses, going from underneath my jaw, down my throat, over my collarbones. Flicking his tongue over one nipple while his fingertips gently brushed over the other. Spreading a shiver of wanton need throughout me that made my skin prickle and back arch. I gasped rather loudly and immediately slapped my hand over my mouth, scared that Felix heard what was going on from the other room. “Let him hear, babe. I want him to” Chris removed my hand and planted his kisses further down my belly, over my hip bones, down between the inside of thighs, mumbled an almost inaudible, “Wants him to know that I have everything he wants to have” and I opened my mouth to say something but my mind went blank when he placed a firm but gentle hand on one leg to keep them separated when the action made me automatically want to rub them together, “Fuck babe, you look so beautiful like this” He whispered and I choked on my breath when he flicked out his tongue out to taste me while he placed my legs over his shoulders in the process. My head fell back, and I closed my eyes. Indulged in the feeling of him eating me out. Revelled in the way that he knew exactly how I liked it. Gently suckling my clit into his mouth, nibbling with soft lips, hummed to my taste and I groaned softly to how amazingly good it felt when the vibrations travelled up to the pit of my stomach. He pressed his tongue flat against my folds, gently pushed two fingers into me and a whine left my lips as he pumped them carefully in and out, and I couldn’t help but writhe as the pleasure made me go blind to anything else then the feeling of bliss taking over. Felt how my entire body flushed red from the thought of my best friend hearing everything that happened. Every moan that slipped out between my lips. Every whine, every gasp. Hoped in the darkest places of my mind that he was getting more and more turned on. Helplessly not able to do anything about it than just listen. Or well...so I thought; that was until Chris suddenly stopped and it even took a second before I realized that he’d shifted away from me as well. “You’re just gonna stand there and watch or?” He spoke up and I immediately opened my eyes. Inhaled sharply with surprise. Felix stood in the doorway of our bedroom. Holding onto the doorpost with a hand that had whitened from clenching it too hard. Mouth dropped open, a bright pink dusting the freckles on his cheeks and he gulped hard when he met my gaze. Eyes filled with shame and guilt and I knew that my reaction should’ve been to pull away from Chris and cover myself up . To hide myself from the gaze that wandered over my naked self. To not feel how my heart flipped hard in my chest when my gaze flickered down at his crotch. To not watch with curious eyes how his cock twitched in his pants when he noticed that I was staring. To not clench around Chris fingers that were still buried knuckle deep inside of me when my mind started up a movie with images of Felix himself, so deep inside of me that I could barely breathe. But I still did all those things and Chris chuckled gently. Tongue flicking out to lick along his bottom lip, “Oh, you are shameless, aren’t you, babe?” He asked with a grin on his face. Voice dark and teasing and I swallowed hard when I watched how Felix fingers anxiously tapped the wooden doorpost. How he squirmed with discomfort but still couldn’t look away from the sight of me on the bed. How the tightness on the front of his pants got tougher and tougher to ignore. How he nervously wet his lips when I reached up to knead my boobs under his burning gaze. Softly pinching my nipples and writhed from the wonderful mix of pain and pleasure that shot through my spine. Watched as he bit down on tongue when a small groan involuntarily slipped out and my gaze flickered between him and Chris. Eyes begging. “You want him to join?” Chris asked, still with a grin on his face and wiggled his fingers. I clenched my jaw to suppress a whine when the combination of being teased and watching how Felix eyelids fell when Chris did so clouded my senses. Choked out a small “Yes” and swallowed hard from the way my best friend’s brows furrowed. “Really?” Felix asked. As if he couldn’t believe what I was saying. That I wanted him too. “You better not say no to this” Chris urged the younger, “It will be my goodbye gift to you” He took a staggered breath, and even though I wanted to protest to the way he phrased it, like I was his to give away, I couldn't pass on this opportunity as well. Not when we, all three, were willing. Chris motioned for him to come closer and Felix stumbled slightly when he took a step forward in his hurry. Came to stand beside his hyung and gasped loudly when the older separated my legs further with a flick of his wrist. Thrusted his fingers in and out a few times and I watched with hooded eyes how Felix hand immediately reached up to palm himself over his jeans. Thrusting slightly against his own hand as he watched. Careless and impatient now when he realized the chance he’d been given. I cursed in my mind when I realized so too. I’d gotten confirmed earlier that he was attracted to me, that he wanted me just as bad as I wanted him. But I would have never guessed that this would actually happen. Felix looked up and met my eyes again, a small tilt on his head, and I gave him a small nod to confirm before he reached out. His touch soft and gentle as he stroked his fingertips over my thighs, over my hip bone and I shivered when he moved his hand over my breastbone to my jaw, chin and cheek. My breath hitching when he cupped it softly. Paused for a few seconds while only watching me with admiration and love in his eyes. Like I couldn’t understand just how much I really meant to him. Inhaled deeply and clenched his jaw, an almost painful look on his face, like there was so much he wanted to say but not enough words to describe them and I swallowed hard. Understood every word anyway and could only give him a weak smile while the air around us changed. Leaned into his touch, the way I’d done a thousand times before, except this time- his thumb stroked over my lower lip instead of my cheekbone and my breath got stuck in my throat from the way he bit onto his own tongue and a soft gasp left his lips when my tongue flicked out to wet my lips, brushing over the tip of his thumb in the process. The way he looked at this moment… God, the way that his eyes glazed over in a way I’d only seen in the filthy dreams I’d been having. The way I felt his pulse quicken up when he felt my breath ghost his face. He swallowed hard, hesitated and I decided that I couldn’t wait anymore. Raised myself up and closed the distance between us with a swift movement and he groaned, guttural, greedy and flustered with lust and I inhaled sharply when the gentle hand on my cheek travelled back to grasp a handful of hair in the back of my neck. Soft lips moved against mine just as Chris thrusted his fingers in and out again, before he snorted out a small laugh when my body jolted from surprise and went back in for another taste of me, taking away the already shortness of my breath. Felix kisses where intense, sloppy, and I buried my fingers into the lilac of his hair when he flushed closer to me and we fell into a rhythm like we’d been kissing for years. I hated that I could admit then and there that I’d missed his lips on mine. The way he moved against me, the way swallowed me up completely and flushed closer against me, pushing me down into the mattress, touch starved for more and out of breath. The deep whiny gasps that escaped his lips quickly made me addicted to hear more and I found myself falling deeper and deeper into the trance of feeling his lips moving against mine as the seconds seemed to slow down. His tongue flicked out to taste me. His right hand brushed through my hair in an almost comforting action, while the way that he inhaled my every gasp of air was the exact opposite. He was possessive but so gentle. Dominated the pace, regulated the way he wanted me to dance with him while doing it so delicately that I was choking on my own breath. The position was slightly awkward, with him just leaning over me and I pulled on the arm that held him upright. Craved more of his touch, more of him taking the control I knew he wanted to take. He obliged to what I needed, stepped closer, placed one leg on the bed and let his left hand travel down to cup my left boob and my breath hitched when his did as well. Paused for a second while pressing his forehead against mine. Holding back a moan when I tried to breathe as I felt myself getting closer to the finish line when Chris curled his fingers into me, pulling up my legs further against my chest and let me ride his face to control the rhythm. “I’ve been dreaming about this” Felix whispered and I felt pathetic as I held onto his arm, trying to find a middle ground where I could listen to what he wanted to say and not try to come to fast, even though Chris did his hardest to succeed with the latter, “Fantasized about this… for way too long. Long enough to leave me embarrassed if you were to guess” He continued, the whisper got swallowed by our harsh breathing and I for once, allowed myself to revel in the feeling as I stroked down the side of his face. The softness of his skin. His cute pointy ears. The way his hair tickled the side of my face. “I…” I started but he kissed me again, to keep me quiet. Maybe he was too afraid that I’d say something he didn’t want to hear, or maybe he just couldn’t stop himself from claiming every moment that had been lost to us just playing around with each other for so long and I didn’t try to say anything more. Only gasped as I could feel tears in the corners of my closed eyelids. Wallowed in this unbelievable opportunity of feeling of him so close. Of the ferocious craving we had for each other. Of the way his cupids bow fit so perfectly against my own. My hands travelled lower, needing to touch more skin just as Chris flicked his wrist in a way that made me writhe and before I knew it, before I could stop it- I was falling. I held onto my best friend, my mouth falling open as a soundless scream left it and the only thing I could hear before a white noise overtook my hearing was Felix sound of absolute astonishment as he watched how my back arched off the bed. I could feel how Chris shifted and pulled away between my legs. How he chuckled softly with pride that he made me lose control so violently. How the warm comfortable feeling of afterglow made my body feel all tingly and hummed with satisfaction. “Don’t think that it’s over that simple, baby girl. You agreed to work twice as hard tonight, didn’t you?” Chris voice was deeper than normally, and I felt how Felix shifted away from me before I opened my eyes again just in time to see when Chris pulled down the zipper of his pants. Pulled out his cock from above the lining of his underwear and let his head fall back as he stroked over his length with quick movements. Drops of precum were already wetting his fingers, making the head of his cock glisten from the light on the bedside table and I swallowed hard when I looked up to meet his eyes again, “Open up” He said while motioning for me to open my mouth and my gaze lingered on Felix who stood behind him. Shy all of a sudden and not sure what to do now that the older had taken commando. I reached out for him, smiled when his lips tugged up as well. Chris cleared his throat to make me hurry up and I gave him a sour look while Felix took my hand and I gave it a small squeeze before I turned my body sideways 90 degrees so that my head was resting off the bed and heard how Felix groaned with anticipation when I opened my mouth and let Chris slip between my lips. “Fuck” He choked out and I could hear how Felix hummed as he walked around the bed, “She’s so hot Lix. I can’t believe that you’ve been able to keep yourself together around her” Chris moaned out and I felt how my eyes teared up when I felt the younger place his hand on my thigh again and I parted them without hesitation before he moved another muscle. “I haven’t, though” Felix said back but the words were drenched out into a deep groan when he watched as I pressed two fingers on my still sensitive clit before dipping them into my cunt, hooking my fingers and collected some of my wetness before separating my fingers and felt how a translucent string still connected them. He cursed at the way that I teased him, and I felt how my stomach did exited somersaults. Enjoyed the feeling of nails digging into my thighs as he cursed again, under his breath. “Go ahead” Chris urged the younger on and hummed out a low groan when my breath hitched as he flicked my nipples, played with them softly as I took him deeper. Bopping my head to show that he could move, and a louder, harsh gasp escaped his lips when I placed my arms around his thighs to keep myself in the same position. “You’re so beautiful noona… I can’t believe… that you’ll let me” Felix voice broke and I blindly reached out for him, grasped after his hand again, shaking slightly when I placed it where we both wanted. My heart flipped when I felt him touch me in the way I’d only been dreaming about and I swallowed hard, earning a small jolt from Chris as the action squeezed tighter around him, when I felt how my best friend pushed two fingers between my folds, not stopping until he was knuckle deep. He felt so different from Chris, and just the thought that this was happening, finally, made me writhe against him. The pads of his fingertips carefully explored every centimetre of me. Like he was mapping me up for future references. Like he didn’t want to forget how I was feeling. The action made me swallow hard again and Chris twisted my nipple a bit rougher than necessary, earning a small choked yelp from me. “Don’t you dare clench around me again. I’m gonna come inside of you, not down your throat” I hummed with agreement and mumbled a sorry as well as I could with his cock lodged deep into my throat. Felt how Felix had paused from the sudden harm that was done to me and Chris chuckled, “She likes the pain, don’t worry about it” “She doesn't though” Felix answered, and I couldn’t help but roll my hips slightly to make him move again. Whining and felt how Chris legs shook when the vibrations shot through him. Not caring about the way they argued, or what they argued about. Only craved more of the way Felix felt inside me, “Oh really?” Chris asked and flicked my nipple again, earning a shudder from me when the pain spread through me, making me rub my thighs together and clench around my friend who inhaled sharply when he felt the constriction, “You think you know her better when I’m the one who has been fucking her for years? Be my guest” Chris said with an almost taunting tone and I winced and coughed hard when he forcefully pulled out. Barely had time to breathe until he placed his hands on my back and flipped me over, so I fell forwards instead. Inhaling sharply when Felix’s fingers slipped out, luckily tucked my legs underneath me in time and was forced onto my hands in the process. I swallowed hard, ashamed of the way I’d been tossed around like a broken doll. I was okay with it, even enjoyed being overpowered and dominated when we were alone. But this time, we weren’t, and I could see my best friend in my peripheral. Felt embarrassed that he had to see me, someone he’d known all his life, someone older than him, being treated like that. Felt my vision got blurry as tears swelled over from the thought of him losing all the respect that he’d always given me from seeing me in another light, on my hands and knees in front of him, like I was praying. Breath hitching when his familiar, warm hand combed through the locks of my hair, shuddered and immediately closed my eyes when he turned up my chin to make me look at him. “Don’t worry” He said gently, “I’d never hurt you. Not even if you were begging for it” I nodded at the promise while feeling how the tears I’d been trying to hide rolled down my cheeks anyway. I’d loved him, my little Lix, for so long, in so many different ways that I was scared that this was finally it. The moment that would finally be the one that either joined or broke us. Felt how tears splattered on my chest as the pain I felt grew stronger in my heart when my mind once again questioned if this is what I wanted, to actually be with Chris, to stay with him. That my love for the older of the two was actual love and not just the feeling of being safe; economically in the future, with the familiarity of his face, his way of thinking, his voice, his body. With our apartment and our friends, all of them being people that I’d met through Chris. What would I do without him? I’d lose basically everything I had dear in this town. Our stuff, our place, our friends… The only thing I’d have left was right in front of me, stroking away my tears with a gentle hand- and he would leave me to pursue a path that I couldn’t follow on. I had a job here, a family, even if they lived two hours away. I couldn’t just leave it all. But then again. Maybe it wasn’t just love that I felt for him, for Felix, anymore. That thought had struck me more and more these past days. That I might actually be stupid enough to have fallen for him. That the dreams I’d had lately, the daydreaming- about a life together, wasn’t just a silly thought anymore. His lips were soft this time and I felt my heart clench as it pulled it from my thoughts. Tasted the saltiness of my tears in the kiss with a small gasp. He was gentle, without rush, without needing to take- only give and I choked on my breath, whining softly when he cupped my face and coaxed it carefully to the side to deepen the kiss. Reached forward and he flinched with surprise when I pulled up his shirt from within his pants, rubbed my thumbs into the lining of his jeans and sighed softly against his lips when I felt the hardness of his abs against the pads of my fingertips. Hooked my fingers around the hem of it and he separated us quickly to pull it over his head. An exaggerated snort behind me told me exactly what Chris thought about Felix body and I rolled my hips instead of giving him any attention. Just to tease him since he could only watch at the moment. The kisses grew sloppy, wetter and my head was spinning when I reached out again to unzip the jeans that still very much hugged his figure. Indulged in the way that he groaned when I pulled them over his hips and down his thighs. The sound of his hushed moans when my hands gripped around his hips made me drunk and I choked on my breath when I heard the belt buckle hit the floor before he stepped out of them. We separated, gasping and out of breath and I met his eyes, black and blown out, just like I’d imagined them to be at this moment. Short pants of air left his parted bruised lips and the lilac hair of his were tousled. Chest heaving and black underwear low around his hips. Showing off a perfect V-shape where his hip bones popped. I suddenly felt very self-conscious about how I, myself, looked. Not even near as perfect as he were, and he recognized the change of my expression immediately. “Don’t you dare” He simply said and gave me a soft smile when I nodded back. “You haven’t forgotten about me, have you?” Chris asked and I froze when I could feel how the bed shifted beside me, “You were going to prove something for me? Weren’t you? That she didn’t enjoy the pain?” He pressed on and Felix tilted his head, eyebrows raised. “She’s dripping wet…” “Yeah, I know. I was eating her out when you walked in” Chris said, and I knew exactly what face he pulled without needing to look at him. It was the one with disbelief, one cocky brow raised while he smirked like he knew every answer in the books. I rolled my eyes, hooked my fingers in the edge of Felix underwear, pulled them down to his midthigh shifty and he just barely inhaled sharply before I closed one hand around his cock. He was a tiny bit shorter than Chris but girthy enough that I couldn’t fully close my fingers around him, and I shivered with the thought of how good he’d be filling me up. “Fuck, noona, are you planning on killing me?” Felix choked out and Chris chuckled softly, “She’s only getting started” He said and I didn’t waste a second to prove just that, squirming at the overpowering enjoyment from the whole sentence of curse words that fell from Felix lips when I leaned forward and closed my lips around the head of his cock. Fit my hand around the part that didn’t fit yet and breathed through my nose as my eyes fluttered closed when he hit the back of my throat. His body convulsed from the intense pleasure and I felt pride swell in my heart when I took his reaction to me. Knowing that I made him feel so good, that I made him lose control just like that. I bopped my head up and down a few times, hummed at the taste of his pre-cum and revelled in the small deep gasps that left his lips. Felt lightheaded from the shortage of air, paused for a second to let him fall out of my mouth but still pumped over his length with my hand wrapped around him tighter. Licked over the head with kitten licks, moaned when he gently rocked his hips forward, unable to stop himself as I took him into my mouth again. Put pressure on the underside with my tongue and clenched around nothing when his mouth fell open as I hollow my cheeks while spreading the mixed wetness of my saliva and his pre-cum over the shaft of his cock. “Tell me I’m better” I said, voice weak but he still picked it up. Opened his eyes, confused and drunk with pleasure and it took a few seconds before he connected the dots, “Convince me” I pressed on and he chuckled, “She was just a girl, someone who came to me. Someone who was as lonely as me. She was average, didn’t really put in much effort…” I licked down the bundle of nerves under the head and he choked on a gasp, fingers tangled in my hair and pulled harshly as he met my eyes, “She’s not you” He finished, smiled lopsided and my eyes fluttered close again as the words resonated within me, placed my hands on his hips to keep him in place and clenched around nothing again when a long dragged out moan rumbled in his chest as I swallowed him down completely. Choked on his size as my nose bumped into his pelvis but forced myself to relax, inhaling deeply and felt how my eyes rolled back when the musky smell of him took over my senses. Tried my hardest not to swallow and felt how my eyes swam over with tears as the intrusive feeling strained my throat. “Fuck” Chris cursed behind me and I felt how my stomach did somersaults when the bed shifted again, two fingers entered me swiftly and I flinched only slightly as he pressed closer to me, naked now and still with a rock-hard cock that craved attention. I pushed back against him, needy for some sort of friction, to be filled up with something more than fingers. “Are you ok, babe? You’re doing so good swallowing him down like that” Chris praised, and I couldn't help but swallow then, gagged automatically and let go at the very same time just as Felix shuddered against me from the intense feeling. Allowed myself to take a shaky deep breath and cleared my throat when I almost choked on my own spit. Felix stroked down my cheek, comforting me with sweet words as I rubbed my ass over Chris length. “You want it, babe? You want me to fill you up?” “Please” I whined out and Chris chuckled softly. “Swallow him down again then” I took Felix in my mouth again, not hesitating for a second and he choked on a gasp when I was pushed down further on him, taking him all in again and the vibrations from my satisfied humming when Chris entered me, sent him into a frenzy. “Can I… move?” He asked, voice breaking, and I nodded shortly, gasping for air with every thrust that Chris moved my body with. Felix cursed again, thrust his hips forward and I winced to the uncomfortable feeling. Gave it a few seconds until I got used to it and looked up to see that his head had fallen back, one hand holding my hair up while the other stroked over his body, brushing the abs on his stomach, the hardness of his nipples and my breath hitched again. Chris reached around me, considerate enough to carefully rub my clit while rolling his hips into me and I held tight onto his arm to not fall forward while groaning to the feeling of being so filled up. Keeping still as I let them thrust into me, bouncing me back and forth between them as I tried not to pass out from the devastatingly good feeling of them both rushing after the finish line. “Fuck, I’m gonna cum” Felix choked out, his thrusting irregular and off pace and I placed my right arm around his waist to keep him in place, “You sure?” He asked and I only had to give him a look to confirm before he gulped hard, hips jolting hard to bury his cock as far down my throat as he could. Enough so that my forehead bumped into his stomach. I watched with amazed eyes how his face scrunched up, mouth falling open before biting hard onto his own tongue when a harsh, almost animalistic groan erupted from deep within his chest. Coughed when hot ribbons of cum made his cock twitch harshly inside my throat. He pulled away, thighs shaking and immediately looked guilty when I struggled for breath, clenching around Chris so hard that he had to pause. “Fuck, shit sorry” Felix said and brushed back my hair from my face but I violently shook my head and licked my lips to savour the taste of him, not needing to say anything as my head fell back to rest on Chris shoulder when the older begun to move again. Panting hard with my face towards the ceiling. Holding onto him as he picked up the pace. “Dear god, aren’t you a sight to behold” Felix said, voice raspy and out of breath and I put on a show for him as my heart swelled. Separated my legs further, stretched my body out like a bow against Chris frame as he fucked me from behind, still lazily rubbing my clit with one hand while the other kneaded my boobs and my mind went blank with the way he rolled my body against his in a dance we’d done so many times before. I tilted my head to the side to capture his lips and he choked on a gasp when our tongues met before our lips did, only pausing for a second when he tasted the traces of Felix cum on my tongue but decided that his own need for release triumphed his petty heterosexuality. I turned to my friend, forced my eyes open and Felix gave me a pained expression, like the vision in front of him was too much to bear, powerful enough to leave him astounded as I reached out for him again, and he took my hand while climbing up on the bed as well. Moaning when I placed one arm around his waist and the other in his hair, pulling back his fringe from his forehead before locking my lips with him again, my chest flushing against his with every thrust that rocked my body. “Do something, anything to her” Chris ordered and Felix swallowed hard from the sudden command, placed a warm hand on my chest and I felt my breath hitch when he let it travel down, swatted away Chris hand there and a small chuckle rumbled against my back when the older placed both his hands around my hip instead, gripping around the bones there, possessive and greedy. Pulled on my whole body to meet his thrust. Hips bouncing off my ass while Felix licked across my lower lip before slipping his tongue into my mouth, swallowing down my breath as his fingers pressed against my clit, rubbing it carefully but fast enough that I shuddered against them both. “There we go, fuck” Chris gasped harshly in my ear when I clenched hard around him. “Don’t stop” I begged and felt that familiar fire building up in the pit of my stomach again. “Wouldn’t dream about it, noona” Felix answered, and I swore that I could feel him smirk against my lips. Chris came with a dragged-out groan, filling me up while shuddering against my body and I desperately continued moving, almost barely missing my moment and clenched around him one final time, while falling again, milking him dry in the process. “Can’t believe I’ve gone this long without knowing how you look when you come” Felix whispered and I grinned happily before wincing when Chris pulled out and moved away from me, earning a soft groan from them both when some of his cum trickled down the inside of my thigh. I fell backwards onto the bed with closed eyes. Felt spent, tired but the men above me didn’t plan on stopping at all. There was a tap on my thigh and even in my daze, I could feel that it was Felix. Parted my legs without question and heard Chris chuckle behind me. “So needy babe. How long how you been dreaming about this? About Felix and the way he’s looking at you right now?” I could feel three fingers entering me, scooping out some cum that rested happily there and felt how my heart flipped when my friend climbed on top of me, bringing the coated fingers towards my mouth. “Last Christmas” I whispered and swallowed hard as the fingers coated my lips before slipping between them, urging me to lick them clean. He felt to good where he was, between my legs, one hand at the side of my head to keep himself upright while his half hard cock nudged against my cunt, “I almost walked in on him fucking another girl and the first thought that flashed through my mind wasn’t embarrassment but how badly I wanted to be in there with him, to be the one that caused him to sound like that, instead” I said as the fingers withdraw and I opened my eyes. Felix head was tilted to the side, curious eyes barely two decimetres from mine and his lips tugged up in a small grin when my breath hitched. The feeling of his body weight on top of me was enough to get me gasping and I couldn’t help but coil my body as he moved his, ever so slightly, in a way that barely resembling thrusting but I couldn’t help but rub my thighs against his sides anyway, lifting my ass of the mattress slightly and he groaned as his cock threatened to slip into me. “If I only knew that you stood on the other side of that door, I’d ditched the girl immediately” He said and I rolled my eyes, but knew, could see it on him that he didn’t exaggerated and smiled, eyebrows furrowed with a look of disbelief as he brushed some of my hair away from my face, spreading it out like a halo around my head, “Not to be rude, Chris, but I fear that I might not have been able to say no if I’d see her in that moment. Fuck-” He cursed and licked his bottom lip into his mouth, “To know that I could’ve lost my virginity to you and not the first girl who actually came knocking on my door. That I could've had you all for myself that first time. You’d look so gorgeous clenching the fabric of my blanket” He slid his cock between my folds, and I choked on my breath, “I don’t blame you mate, look at her. If I wouldn’t be so scared that I’d never have her for myself again, I’d share her on full time. The two of you… the way that she looks underneath you…” Chris trailed off as Felix looked up and gave him a small smirk, “Thought you’d add a “no homo” “It isn’t homo if a girl is involved” Chris said, with a voice that sounded just as unsure as he probably were and I looked between them booth with a small giggle, which seemed to pull them back. “Should I leave, or?” “And miss out how good Felix here would feel between your legs? Not gonna happen” Chris chuckled, and I felt my heart flip when the humorous feeling between us switched in an instance as the younger of the two looked down at me again. He gulped, almost nervously and my breath hitched just as he leaned down and gave me a small kiss, just pecking my lips gently, almost innocently but it still took my breath away completely. He held himself there a bit longer, flushed his chest against mine and I squirmed as my arousal burned between my legs when his right hand reached up to rub a nipple between his index finger and thumb. Cock getting harder by the minute and brushing between my wet folds harder with each slow snap of his hips. The underside of his shaft rubbed my clit in a way that made me breathless. Felix was so consuming, with the way he kissed me. Dangerously slow, making me chase after him as he teased me. Tongue flicking out to taste me, lips lazily moving against mine as he twirled a lock of my hair, moved over my throat to coax my head to the side, almost forcefully taking my breath away as he carefully closed his fingertips over my throat, just to feel when my breath hitch. His touch, his smell, his taste- were all so addicting that the world around us disappeared and I had almost forgotten that we were three before a soft sigh above me made me open my eyes. Chris stood on his knees, cock a harsh red, warm and heavy in his hand as he jerked himself off, head falling back as he panted loudly, and I could feel how my stomach clenched as I rubbed my thighs around Felix hips from the sight. The younger of the two just glanced up to the reason why I broke off the kiss but didn’t seem to mind as his kisses continued down over my body. Pausing temporarily to lick a hard nub into his mouth. Sucking and nibbled softly on it while harshly groping my other boob and my fingers gripped his hair as my back arched from the pleasure. Chris eyes were hooded as he watched us, and his mouth had fallen open as beads of pre-cum escaped the head of his cock already. I motioned for him to come closer just as Felix reached my lower stomach and took the opportunity of him pausing to turn around onto my hands and knees, throwing the younger out of balance for a just second before he realised what I wanted, laid down between my parted legs and I gasped loudly as he kissed my inner thighs. Teeth gracing the sensitive flesh lightly while blowing air against the folds of my cunt and a low chuckle escaped his lips when I shivered from the feeling just as Chris grabbed my face, almost forcefully and locked my lips with his. Choked on a breath when Felix finally placed his arms around my thighs and pressed me down onto his face. Whole body spasmed as I cried out from the feeling but both of them were ruthless in their pursuit of never letting me catch my breath. Chris tugged on my hair, to crane my head back as he dived in deeper, pushed his tongue between my lips when I gasped from the surprise and moaned loudly, shuddering when Felix didn’t waste a second and pushed three fingers into me, hooking them slightly and pressed up against the spot that made me lose it completely. I was a mess, stuck between two men that were hellbent on making me cum as many times they could and choked on my breath as Felix moaned to the taste of me. Buried my fingers of one hand into his hair, sobbing into Chris mouth as the older harshly kneaded my boobs. My other hand was wrapped around Chris cock and he jolted his hips forward in time of my stroking. His desperate gasps were swallowed down by me and I felt so complete, so fulfilled that I couldn’t stop myself as I came again just as Felix hummed against my clit, sending sweet vibrations into my lower body. I slumped against Chris, gasping against his lips and tried I rise myself up, too sensitive for Felix to continue eating me out but he stopped me, held his arms tighter around my thighs and I had to let Chris go because I simply couldn’t breathe. He didn’t stop until my legs were shaking, let me go then and gave me a drunken smile as he sat back up, chin wet from my juices and I opened my mouth to say something, to act like I was angry at him and not completely breathless from the way he’d allowed me to ride his face. “Come on” Chris said, restless and I looked at him, confused at what he was suggesting, “Lie back down” He ordered and Felix looked at him, confused, but obliged anyway, “Go on babe, ride him” Chris said and pushed me slightly towards my friend, voice relaxed, like he was talking about the weather and I inhaled sharply at his bluntness. Thighs wet from coming three times already and breath stuck in my throat again as I took in the sight of Felix, laying on his back with his head on the pillows. Cock twitching as he lazily rubbed the head and I clenched around nothing again when I watched how he pulled back the foreskin to reveal the dark red annoyed head. Pre-cum dripping like beads from the tip and I only hesitated for a second before I started to approach him. Still with thighs that shook from my latest orgasm. I straddled his hips carefully, stomach doing nervous somersaults and he immediately placed his hands on the swell of my ass, gave me a smile that crinkled the edges of his eyes and bit down on his lower lip as he held back a groan when my thighs wet his hips. “I- we’re both free from anything, if you want to. If you’re as well” I started off, but he nodded before I could finish what I was going to say. “Fuck I- I’m so ashamed to say it but I made a promise to myself years ago to always wear a condom, just to make sure that- I mean- if a moment like this would arise- that-” “I need you to come inside me” I finished off and he groaned, let go of me to grab his cock and I raised myself shortly, felt my heart thump so hard in my ears that I grew deaf to anything but the way he gasped out when his cock nudged my entrance. Paused and locked eyes with me, just to make sure- because there was no way we’d ever go back to the way we used to be afterwards, but I was impatient. Too hungry and needy for more and couldn’t help the whine that slipped out between my lips when I sat down the rest of the way and watched with hooded eyes as his mouth fell open when I slid down on his length. Fingertips digging into my ass so hard, it bruised me, but I welcomed the pain. Choked on my breath when I slumped against him as he bottomed out, stretching me so good that I could barely breathe. “You’re so warm” He stoked down my face with his fingertips, breath hitching while I leaned against him as my heart swelled so much it felt like it overtook my whole chest, choking me as he looked at me like I was the only one that ever mattered. The amount of affection in his eyes made me sob out, “You’re perfect. Dear God- I can’t believe this is happening. You feel so good” He cursed loudly and amidst the overpowering feeling, I leaned down and found his lips, cried out when I tasted myself on his tongue and he harshly rubbed his hands over my ass, raised me up a little, just to get some friction and cursed again when I clenched around him. “Fuck, noona. I’m not gonna last long if you continue doing that” He inhaled sharply, and I pressed my forehead against his. Barely noticed the bed shifting until Chris was right behind me. “Lift her ass up again, mate” He begged. Voice hoarse and Felix swallowed hard before doing the same action again, and Chris groaned deeply. “Oh, I wish you could see the way she’s stretched so perfectly around you. Cunt just sucking you right in. Move… please” He begged us and I sobbed out as I raised myself up on trembling thighs, lifting barely two centimetres and Felix immediately helped me, lifted my whole bottom completely and thrusted up to meet me and my eyes rolled back in my skull as a soundless scream made my mouth fall open. Chris cursed behind me again and I heard on the slick noises that he was jerking off again. He placed one hand on my lower back, and I shuddered from the surprise, bouncing off Felix cock with every slow intense thrust, my head fell back as I placed my hands on the clenched muscles on his stomach to support myself. “Babe, can I… please?” Chris begged while brushing his fingertips against my ass and I only nodded, feeling how my heart raced and stomach clench as I arched my back to give him proper access, “Suck” He demanded and pressed two fingers onto my tongue. I met Felix eyes as I coated them, watched as he groaned when a string of spit broke off as Chris removed his fingers. I winced from the pain when he dug his fingernails into my waist as Chris rubbed against my asshole before he pushed one in and all three of us gasped at the feeling. Felix threw his head back and the pace he’d set became off beat for a few seconds as I constricted around him and my cunt immediately got even tighter from the presence of Chris finger. My whole body jolted forward as I clenched around the intrusive feeling for a few seconds before I got used to it and couldn’t help but push back as Chris nibbled on my throat, his chest flushed against my back and I could feel the movement from his hand against my lower back as he continued to jerk himself off. “So beautiful noona, so good for me” Felix whispered as he combed my hair back from my face with a shaky hand, eyes tearing up when he looked up at me and I felt my heart clench as I leaned down again. The kiss was sloppy, wet and messy and he choked on his breath against my lips, hands kneading the swell of my ass as he lifted my whole body to thrust me down on his cock again. Chris was restless behind me, pumped his finger a few more times and I shuddered when I felt how he withdrawn before spitting on his fingers. Added one more, right after he entered me again and Felix cried out, full on sobbed as he thrusted harder into me and pressed his forehead against mine while mumbling curse words under his breath every time my heat swallowed him down. I separated my thighs further, felt how he brushed against my cervix and gulped from the sweet pain. Whined loudly when Chris reached forward and unexpectedly grabbed a handful of my hair, pulling my head back and flushed his chest against my back to catch my lips over my shoulder. A low moan slipped between Felix lips as he watched the scene, picked up the speed and I was a gasping mess between the two of them. “Let me fuck you, please” Chris begged, voice breathless and jolted his hips forward against the fingers that were already there. I swallowed hard, a nervous and an exhilarating feeling exploding in the pit of my stomach as I nodded. Felix whined when Chris pulled out his fingers again, backed away from us for a few seconds, opened the bedside table and fished out a bottle of lube. My heart thumped hard in my chest and I clenched around Felix again as Chris squirted a good amount on his fingers before they entered me again. Gasped at the feeling, arched my back as much as I could and cried out as he scissor his fingers, feeling so unbelievably dirty as I met my best friends hooded eyes again while relaxing my body to prepare it for something significantly thicker. Chris gave it a minute, prepared me fully while he kissed down my neck with small gentle pecks and I hummed with satisfaction before he whispered a small, “Are you ready?” and I could only nod again as he squirted some lube on his cock, gasping slightly as he stroked himself a few times before he nudged the tip against my entrance, desperate pants ghosted against my shoulder as he tried to make place for it with his fingers. He thrusted forward carefully, just let the head enter me, paused to let me get used to the discomfort and I became blind as darkness overtook my sight. Felix stopped in an instance, buried deep inside me and the feeling was unreal. My thighs shaking and heart hammered so hard that all I could hear was white noise. I could feel myself clenching and forced my muscles to relax, knowing that the mixed discomfort would disappear completely when I did so. Chris pressed sweet kisses on my throat, whispered praises of how could I was, how amazing I felt, against my skin and I let my head fall back again his shoulder while I sneaked my arm around his waist and placed my hand on his lower back, pushing him forward until he was bottoming out. I could feel tears on my cheeks from the feeling of being so filled out and choked on a gasp when Felix reached out to place his hand on my chest, “Can I move?” He whispered and I took a shaky breath before nodding, placed my hand over his and felt my entire body shudder when they started to thrust into me, setting a pace that made me breathless. I reached down to rub my clit again, just as Chris placed his hand on mine and I could feel my heart cry out as our hands mirrored our bodies. Connected all three. For this time and this time alone. Tears streamed down my face by now and I refused to meet Felix eyes, knowing that I’ll start crying for real if I did so, the wetness splattered against his chest, but I knew that he felt that I was ok. That the tears wasn’t founded in pain but rather from the feeling of us so close. He placed his other hand on my cheek, thumb stroking over my cheekbone and I leaned into his touch, placed a kiss on his wrist and heard how his breath hitched. “Are you close?” He asked and I choked out a small, “Yes” while pressing down on my clit harder, feeling how my body was giving out on me, barely having any energy left to keep myself upright. Chris seemed to feel that I was slipping because he placed his other arm around my midriff, holding me up as he picked up his speed, grunting against my neck with every slap of skin against skin. I fell before I knew it, thighs shuddering as my body gave out completely and I felt how I wetted Felix lower stomach as I squirted all over it. A loud, rumbling moan broke from his lips as he dug his fingertips into my waist from the feeling. Cursed under his breath as my body slumped between them and I was thankful that Chris held me up. “Can I come inside you?” Felix groaned out and I gasped loudly as I nodded quickly, holding onto him as his eyes rolled back in his skull, bottomed out completely inside me and Chris moaned with him as we both felt how he twitched inside me as long ropes of cum filled me up to the brink. Some squirted out before he was even finished, and I gasped breathlessly as it created a mess underneath me. Chris followed shortly after, filling me up as well while he nibbled at the side of my throat. Hissing like an animal as he rutted against me, not stopping his thrusting until he became oversensitive. I groaned when they pulled out, stars of exhaustion flickering like lights in front of my eyes as they helped me off the bed. Carried me to the bathroom and I closed my eyes as they placed me in the shower, helped me to clean off the traces of cum, washed me carefully and dried me up before I shooed them out to be able to pee in peace. Both had put on underwear again as I came back to the bed, staggering on weak knees and just let them manhandle me as they laid me down carefully on the bed again, pulling a cover over me, even though they both knew that I shuddered for a whole other reason than being cold. Chris held onto my right side, hand interlaced with my right over my stomach while Felix nuzzled comfortably against my right, our legs tangled as I placed a small kiss on the crown of his head. Sighing happily as we all drifted off to sleep.

[treasure-my-aurora]

We’ve got Tonight

• Summary: I’d known Felix since before he was born. My tiny preschool hand would often press flat against his mother’s round belly while I looked up at her with surprised innocent eyes as the baby inside kicked against my hand. Known him as a brother, a best friend and a rock to lean against through my whole life. But now, in just a month, he’d be going away to train with some of the best in the industry, and with time running out, perhaps there is more than just platonic feelings between us… something that would bring up more pain, jealousy and sorrow than we could ever imagine.

♥ Pairing: Bang Chan/Reader/Felix

♦ Chapter: 7/9

♣ Words: 5713

♠ Genre (in this one): Fluff, angst

Thursday evening. Sometime after 9 and we’d just finished dinner. Our place like usual and our whole gang of friends where there. The two girls from my work included. The atmosphere was bright, happy and even though it was a party for Felix, to say goodbye, it didn’t lower the volume of the music, or the fact that we’d already been drinking for a good 40 minutes. Started ridiculous challenges and hyped each other up after getting take-away food in our bellies. Competed with ‘who can drink most under a minute’ or ‘the one that finishes their bottle first wins’ while screams and laughter bounced off the walls and got lost within the music. “What’s today’s game? Any suggestions?” Woojin asked and Hyunjin was fast to stand up, not hesitating for a second and swinging the drink in his hand so swiftly it threatened to overflow the brim a few times, “I think we should play ‘never have I ever’ since we had such a good laugh last week” He giggled, eyes squinting and with that smile that could melt ice. I squinted too- but not out of joy and tilted my head in confusion when basically everyone beside myself, Felix and Chris agreed. The latter tried to control his anger, balling his hand into a fist. Almost shaking with anger when he spoke, “We’re not playing that game, what are you, thirteen and drunk for the first time?” He scoffed and there was a pause among the closest to him that caught up with what he said. Confusion to where this sudden explosion of emotions came from, “Sit down, shut up and don’t act like an ass” I said, slightly embarrassed and pulled on Chris sleeve to make him sit back into the chair while I watched how Hyunjin sat down on the couch again, a sadness I couldn’t live with behind those gentle dark eyes of his, “Let’s do it” I said and sounded way more confident than I actually were. Avoided Chris eyes as he looked up at me with a quick twitch on his head, eyes traveling from me to the rest of the group with disbelief at my words. I couldn’t help but smile back when Hyunjin grinned again, big, bright and thankful. Call me a softie but it chased away the bad feelings I’d felt in my heart towards him since last weekend. He was clumsy, a bit apathetic and clueless to other people’s feelings sometimes but still with a heart of gold. Always making sure to apologise profusely whenever he realized he’d fucked up. “Seems like I’m the only one who doesn’t wanna play then” Chris said, a bit hurt, with his lips pressed into a thin line and the group agreed on that fact. “Either play or drink by yourself. It’s your choice” Woojin said and sipped from his drink, seemingly unbothered and with a voice that described just how much he didn’t want to deal with any sort of bullshit. I was thankful that we had him with us this time, since he was the only one, besides me, that was older and usually the only one that could put Chris, and the rest of the boys, back on track when things started to tip sideways. The words made Chris sulk beside me and he crossed his arms over his chest with a pout on his lips, probably expecting people to feel bad for him but no one did, and I glanced at him from the corner of my eye. Softly placed my hand on his knee and he looked over at me again, took my hand and held it in a safe grip but didn’t smile to show that he was feeling any better. The game started anyways and Jisung was reading some questions out loud that he’d found with a quick google search. “Ya’ll ready?” He asked loudly and we all shouted back a ringing “Yes” before he looked down at the first question, paused, frowned, looked up again and then asked, “Should we go by the rule that if there is a lonely drinker, they have to tell the story of why they drank?” There was hums of agreements through the crowd and Jisung started again, “Never have I ever tasted someone else’s bodily fluids” Numerous of disgusted faces turned to each other to see who was drinking and Minho took a swing of the bottle in his hand. Looked down at the floor with a curled upper lip before complaining, “Why did they phrase it like that?” while the two other girls and I had all taken a swing of our bottles as well, and now all of us, the whole group, watched Minho with a thoughtful gleam in our eyes, “What?” He asked as he looked between us. “Bodily fluids?” Jisung asked with a strange, mixed expression of revolt and curiosity on his face while Minho shrugged, “I wasn’t the only one drinking, you’ll just have to speculate about it forever” There were several eyerolls before Jisung continued, “Never have I ever sucked on someone’s toes” Woojin gulped down a big mouthful his drink and looked between the judgmental looks he received. Raised his hands in defeat and gave us all a look back, “Hey, the girl was hot, ok. I didn’t like it, but what was I supposed to do, stop fucking her?” Seungmin shook his head beside him with a disappointed face, “I’ve lost all respect for you, hyung” “Well, that was today’s TMI” Jisung chuckled, eyes flickering, like he was still a bit unsure if Woojin was serious, before he turned to the questions again and tried to compose himself, “Never have I-” He paused, giggled behind a closed hand and looked like he just remembered something funny, “Have I- slept with someone- within the hour of meeting them” He cleared his throat, took a swing of his drink and watched as more than half of our group did the same. I glanced over at Felix and watched as he swallowed down a gulp of the sweet cider he was drinking while I thought back on that girl he’d been hooking up with and felt how I zoned out for a second as I turned to Jisung again. Rage and sorrow roared in my heart. Thankful that no one noticed the way my eyes blanked out as the questions continued, “Never have I ever showered with the opposite gender” Me, one of the girls and three of the boys drank, “Never have I ever fallen asleep while watching porn” Only Changbin drank and the boys closest hit him in the back with playful punches while a slight blush covered his cheeks as he averted his eyes. “I was tired, ok? I don’t think I have to add anything else” He defended himself and one of the girls, who sat right next to him, the same one he’d been talking with two weeks ago, purred out a small, “Aww, adorable” and he looked up at her, slightly surprised as she, clearly tipsy, fluttered her lashes at him. I cringed a bit from second-hand embarrassment. Knew that I was probably behind on the drinking from my reaction and took an extra swing of my bottle as I answered the next question, “Never have I ever been choked” Felix squirmed in his seat, uncomfortable but barely noticeable, as he knew first-hand what Chris had done to my body while my boyfriend just chuckled and possessively squeezed my thigh, as I was the only one who had been drinking, “Ya nasties” Hyunjin commentated with furrowed brows, looking more jealous than he probably would ever admit and laughter erupted between our friends. “Never have I ever not washed a piece of clothing because of someone else’s scent on it” “Aw that’s just cheesy as fuck” Jeongin commentated at the edge of the sofa, his usual non-alcoholic, carbonated drink in his hand while he watched as me, Chris and Jisung took a swing of our drinks. “Ok, the cutesy couple I get but Jisung… is there something that you haven’t told us? Woojin asked with a twinkle in his eyes and the younger looked away. I blinked slightly in confusion and nearly protested when the oldest of the boys automatically concluded that it was Chris clothes that I didn’t wash. Caught myself just in time though and hoped that no one in the room saw that I flinched, because the clothes I saved, the ones I buried my nose into when I missed him too much, was Felix. He seemed to sense my discomfort though, like so many times before, because he looked up and gave me a glance underneath his fringe from where he sat, three chairs away from me at my right. I met his eyes, knew since long that he’d noticed various college shirts, sweatpants and tees of his going missing every other 3 months or so. But he never said anything about it, even though I’ve been doing it for at least 5 years. Guess that he now also knew that I never really washed them. I felt how my cheeks flushed at the same time as Jisung when he looked away too. Watched as he tapped on the side of the bottle, stalling and paused for a few more seconds before he turned to Minho, “You know that shirt of yours, that soft, black, knitted one that you usually tuck into your pants?” The older pursed his lips and looked diagonally up while he was thinking for a few seconds before a light seemingly lit up in his head, “Aha, I’ve wondered where it disappeared” He didn’t sound angry with the fact that Jisung had stolen one of his shirts or even slightly awkward about the fact that the younger just admitted that he hadn’t washed it yet and our group just let out a couple of “Awws” while Changbin pinched Jisung’s red cheeks. A shy smile played on his lips as his cheeks flushed even brighter and he looked away, buried his nose in his phone again, “Never have I ever had a dirty dream about a teacher or professor at school” “Oh” Hyunjin exclaimed loudly and smirked while looking over at Seungmin who only nodded. The same sort of smirk on his lips. “The transfer math teacher three years ago, Ms. Liu. Damn” He shook his head as the tips of his ears tinted red, “She made me fail that class, hard” Hyunjin continued and Seungmin held up his hand in a high five. “Might be because being hard was the only mood that existed when she was around” Seungmin answered and laughter broke out between us at the wordplay before the sound of the high five echoed off the walls. “Never have I ever went skinny dipping” Two guys drank, and we refilled our drinks. “Never have I ever slept nude” Everyone except for Jeongin drank and Chris pinched his cheeks while the younger gave him a pained expression, immediately regretting the decision to tell the truth. “Never have I ever had friends with benefits” One of the girls drank and flipped her hair with a flick of her wrist, “That’s how I got to know my best friend” “Never have I ever had sex with someone at a university” Me and Chris clinked our bottles and chuckles filled the room. “Never have I ever been caught having sex” No one drank, just curiously looking around if someone would change their mind. “Never have I ever had sex with someone that was ten years older” Woojin took another swing of drink, “Hey, I told you all that she was hot” No one commentated. To be fairly honest, most of us were getting pretty drunk by now and I hoped that the next question would exclude me as well, “Never have I ever kissed my best friend” Fuck. I looked up, surprised at the very specific question and glanced over at Felix who gave me a small smile, the cider in his hand almost empty already. The two of us drank together as silence fell upon us. Chris put his arm around my shoulder to hold me tighter, but the feeling was too heavy. Suffocating. Jisung cleared his throat, “Well, this is awkward” He said and choked giggles behind closed hands could be heard since everyone’s drunk minds couldn’t decline the beehive mentality. “Just read the next question” I pressed on and tried to sit straighter under the weight of Chris arm on my shoulder, “Never have I ever had a dream about someone I liked” Jisung said and took a sip, still with his nose buried in the screen of his phone. I drank and watched as Minho looked at the friend at his right who still didn’t look up from the questions on his phone, took a sip as well before turning away again, putting his focus on the way his hands clenched around the throat of the bottle. I glanced over at Felix. Watched how he stared at the floor while swallowing down the rest that was in the bottle before standing up and walking to the fridge to grab another. My brows furrowed. It felt as if something was troubling him and I wondered if the person he’d been dreaming about, the one he liked- was the girl he’d been hooking up with these past days and that he’d probably miss her now when he was going away. Chris drank as well. Glancing at me with sad, big eyes when I met his eyes after turning away from my best friend. “Wait, are we talking about someone I enjoy spending time with? Or someone I ‘like like’?” Seungmin asked and Woojin gave him a soft smile, “Someone you like like” “Oh, I was hoping to finally drink” The younger answered, with a heavy voice and the rest of laughed at his sullen expression. Bottle still almost new. “Never have I ever had sex with someone in this room” Silence grew between us as we looked at each other. Curious if someone would admit that they had been seeing each other more privately. Chris looked over at me and I looked back. Watched as he glanced over at Felix, just as the younger sat back down, and then back at me again. Almost as if he wanted me to confess. I gave him a funny look, like I was obvious to what he was suggesting, and he rolled his eyes before taking a swing of his drink, watching me as I copied his motion. “Anyone else but the obvious couple in the room?” Jisung asked and looked up at each and every one to give them a chance to speak up. But no one did so he turned back to his phone instead, pursed his lips in thought and said with a pout, “Well, that’s pretty much what I got” Everyone sipped on their drinks. I was drunk, more than usual and felt how I was slightly swaying in my chair from the soft beat of the music. Looked up to see that most of my friends displayed a similar behaviour and couldn’t help but giggle. “That’s probably for the best, though” I said, knowing that we all have had enough to drink and Jisung pouted at my words. “Whyyyyyy?” He complained, locked his phone and flopped over towards Minho, knocking his head softly into the other’s bottle. Met his eyes with a small smile on his lips and the older of the two looked back with gentle eyes while putting down the drink on the table before he placed his hands in his friend’s hair. Gently petting him while Jisung closed his eyes with a deep sigh. Sometimes I just wished that they would realize how much they meant for each other. How much more they could be if they gave themselves a chance. If they for once checked a second time and noticed how the other looked at them when they didn’t see. How easily they could be so, so much more than just best friends. My gaze involuntarily switched over at Felix. Met his eyes as he looked at me, from underneath his fringe with a small tilt of his head, like he’d been watching me for a while already. Felt how much I wanted to indulge in the way he looked at me, with his lips slightly parted and eyes hooded from the intoxicated blood pumping through his body. Felt how a blush crept up my neck when he wet his lips, thoughtfully, almost nervously. Finally tore my gaze away to glance over at Chris, who's eyes wavered from me to my best friend, before turning to watch the drink in his hands, eyelids drooping and body slumped over with his arms resting on his thighs and I didn't know if the look of exhaustion was because he was just as drunk as me or because he was tired of always third wheeling in this hurtful triangle of ours. "Let's come up with our own questions then!" Jeongin suddenly burst out and the rest of us looked up with wrinkles of confusion between our brows, “Everyone who’s still sober gets to drink” “Finally” Seungmin said and took a big gulp from the mixed drink in his hand, winced at the alcoholic taste and Jeongin chuckled while drinking from his own carbonated drink. “That’s not really how it works though” Woojin smiled at the youngest who only stuck his tongue out, “Anyone got a better idea?” He asked but no one protested, only hummed with agreement, “Ok, ok… umm… everyone who has a secret they don’t want anyone else to know gets to drink” I sipped on my beer, swallowing down barely a teaspoon to make sure that I kept my level of intake low. I felt good where I was but knew that I risked getting sick to the stomach if I’d finish the bottle too fast. Everyone drank, except for Jisung who only raised his bottle from his place, with his head still resting in Minho’s lap, and murmurs of suspicion aroused between us. This new twist of the game was certainly more interesting, “Anyone wanna tell?” Jeongin asked with twinkling eyes and a grin that contained a concealed and almost mischievous secrecy, like he took the sweet opportunity to collect as much blackmail as he could when everyone would be too drunk to remember telling and I stifled a giggle behind my hand while watching as my friends eyes flickered from one another, “It wouldn’t really be a secret that I don’t wanna share if I tell everyone, would it?” Hyunjin pouted and there were nods of agreement between us, “Ok, I’ll start then. I’m not a virgin, despite what you all might think” Jeongin said and Chris choked on the sip he took from his drink, like a parent that’d just found out that their child has had sex without them knowing, “What?” He choked out, and Jeongin smiled, “Yeah, with a girl in my class” He spoke like it was nothing special at all and we all watched him with surprised eyes, as a rather tense pause silenced us. “Well if we’re going to spill the beans, I’m a gold star” Jisung muttered from his place, in Minho’s lap, breaking the silence and making everyone’s mouth fall open again. Eyes still closed as a small blush covered his cheeks. Minho himself paused his movements and looked down on his friend. Still with his fingers in his hair though. “Gold star as in a gold star?” He asked, voice a bit weaker than he probably would’ve wanted because he cleared his throat as he met his friend’s eyes, “Yeah” Jisung said shyly while looking up at the older, “I’ve never been with a girl” “You’re a virgin?” Hyunjin busted out, surprised and Jisung rolled his eyes and sat up to face us all, “No, you obvious fuck, I’m gay” “Oh” Hyunjin blushed and we couldn’t help but giggle a little to his flustered and slightly sullen expression. Jisung looked down, his usual explosive positive energy completely gone, “I’m sorry for not telling you earlier, can you all accept me?” He asked and I stumbled slightly when I rose up too quickly from my chair. Closed the distance between us with a few short steps, placed my hand on his shoulder and met his eyes when he looked up with surprised eyes. Motioned for him to stand up and hugged him closely. Felt how he took a short surprise inhale, breath shaking a little and closed his arms around me too. Hands gripping the fabric of my clothes tightly. “Of course” I turned to my friends and said, “Right?” with a meaningful look at all of them and they quickly stood up and joined the hugging party. Enveloped him from all sides and I could feel how he smiled into my shoulder. How he took another shaky breath when he felt how Minho latched himself onto his back and hugged around his waist. I could feel the bodies of my best friend and boyfriend against me and fought to ignore the need to indulge in the amazing feeling of how perfect both their bodies lined up against mine while comforting one of the youngest. ... Time passed with more questions, more funny stories and eventually the clock passed 1, and the girls from my work and Changbin decided to leave. He gave us a wink while hooking his arm with the girl he’d been flirting with the whole evening and we chuckled at them while she smiled shyly and thanked us for inviting them again. I hoped that they’d had a good time, despite the fact that a lot of the laughs shared between us were based on inside jokes. It passed 2 and Seungmin, Jisung and Minho decided to leave. The two younger ones had to be up before 10 tomorrow since they had an exam after lunch, and Minho followed, for reasons only he knew. I hoped, though, that the definite expression on his face when he waved us goodbye was founded in the decision that he and Jisung would finally decide to break the last thin wall between them. The small group that was left; me, Chris, Felix, Woojin, Hyunjin and Jeongin, all sat on the sofa now, drinking water since half an hour ago instead of alcohol with every question answered. “So, I have a question” Woojin asked, suddenly and looked directly at me. My breath got stuck in my throat and I swallowed quickly when I saw the look that he gave me. Hoped that what he’d ask wouldn’t expose me completely, “If you were to choose, gun to your head, between Chris or Felix. Who would you choose?” I sighed and felt how the men at my sides froze. I could see in my peripheral that they both looked at me, expecting an answer. I avoided their eyes though, and watched my own hands instead, picking at my nails while thoughts moved like quick rippling water through my mind. Felt two pair of thighs press up against me. Both strong from dancing, wearing jeans in washed out blue. Chris had ripped holes in his while Felix ones were brand new and I wondered for a second if he’d bought them recently since I hadn’t seen them on him. A ripple of poisonous speculations of why he hadn’t taken me with him, if he might have taken someone else, flashed through me like a lightning strike and I could feel how my heart ached. I wanted to reach out. To poke my finger through the holes in Chris jeans. To put my hand on Felix thigh and give it a teasing squeeze because I knew how ticklish he were there. “Noona?” Woojin asked again and I combed through my hair instead, to give my fidgeting fingers some comfort, “I uh…“I shrugged and gave him a small smile, “I’d rather die to be honest” Woojin rolled his eyes, “So you can’t pick one?” He asked as I shrugged again and shook my head without hesitation, “Would you ask a mother of two to pick a favourite child? I love them both, equally but differently” They shifted beside me from the answer, Chris leaned back in his seat while Felix moved to the side, away from me. I could feel the change of air around us and sighed, paused to feel if it changed back but ultimately decided to move. Felt them shuffle again from my unexpected motion but ignored it as I walked past my boyfriend to get out from my place on the sofa. Not able to sit still anymore. Heard how Woojin asked the next question to Hyunjin and how a quick, heated discussion broke out between them but couldn’t make out any words in the haste of getting away. My heart was pounding, and I wanted to run, to hide from the pain. To be able to find some sort of safe haven where I, for a second, could ignore how much the two of them affected me. To be able to abstain from the strain in my heart from the immediate loss of them next to me. Met my boyfriend’s eyes swiftly and saw, for the first time in a long time, that he looked relieved. Like my answer had been comforting. Immediately glanced over at Felix as well, who quickly met my eyes before he looked away again, bringing a glass of water to his lips instead. Felt a bit sick to my stomach at the way he didn’t met my eyes again, turned away and walked swiftly down the corridor between the living room and our bedroom, took a left in the hallway and closed the bathroom door behind me. Placed my drinking glass on the edge of the sink, with a hand that shook a bit more than I expected. Winced at the noise from glass hitting porcelain. Leaned against the coldness of it and felt how my heart ached in my chest. I knew that I was running out of time. Out of time to figure out my feelings. Out of time to act upon them. Out of time to know how Felix really felt. If there was anything mutual at all about the way he felt about me. If there was more than the sweet platonic love that had always existed between us. “You boys are lucky. You do know that right?” Woojin’s voice was hushed and I guess that he hoped that I didn’t hear what he was talking about. It was tough and barely clear enough, but I focused and could still pick it up, “We know” Chris answered. “Wouldn’t you be willing to share? It tears at her heart, you know that” “I can feel that” Felix sighed, and my mouth fell open, “And you have feelings for her too?” Woojin asked. Silence. I gulped. Felt how my heart raced in my chest from the suspense of not knowing the answer. “I’m not willing to share. Not romantically. I- I don’t think that she’ll return to me if I did” Chris voice broke slightly and I clenched my jaw when I heard the pain in his words, “I’m already on the verge of losing her from the stupid dare you tricked her with” He continued, voice dripping with venomous annoyance and I guessed that the tone was meant for Hyunjin and the kiss that happened last week, “I’m scared that she’ll leave if she realize that I’m nothing compared to you” That was meant for Felix and it was like a punch in the stomach when the younger answered, “I have never and won’t ever do anything that will hurt or confuse her feelings. But you don’t own her, Chris. I know that we’ll probably never be in a relationship, not like the two of you, she thinks that I’m way too young. But we have spent all of lives together, every single aspect of it, never leaving each other’s sides. She means more to me than I could ever explain with words. That isn’t something I’ll ever back away from. If she wants to progress what we already have. The special thing we share. What we’ve already done. Whether or not she chooses to spend the rest of her life with you. I won’t hesitate to give her everything I’ve got” I gulped. Felt how I had to remind myself to breathe when I started to feel lightheaded and gripped the porcelain in my hands tighter to not fall when my knees weakened. Was it that simple? My question, if he was attracted to me as well, answered? “What the fuck do you mean by ‘what you’ve already done’?” Chris asked, voice agitated and angry and shuffling could be heard when Woojin stood up to separate the two of them. “Calm down, Chris. There’s no need to fight” He said with a calming tone and a moment passed before the sofa creaked when they all sat down again. “I’ve never touched her, ok? Not in the way you’re probably imagine. But there has been… tension between us. She’s always enjoyed physical contact. You know that too. Small kisses on the top of her head, holding my hand whenever she wanted to be close, hugging me just to be closer, to enjoy the warmth between us” He paused and I could almost hear him smiling as he continued, wading through dangerous waters, “There was one instance a few weeks ago. She likes to tease you know, and she must’ve felt that I wanted her so bad it almost physically hurt me because she placed her hand around my hips, sitting with her face so, so close to me that I could feel her hot breath on my lower stomach and god-” He paused again, taking a staggering breath and I felt my heart flip hard when I remembered what he was talking about, “If you two wouldn’t be a couple, I’d pull out my cock from my pants and just slip between those plump lips of hers” Shuffling could be heard again and Woojin shouted out a warning that was probably supposed to be quieter than it was when someone, most likely Chris, stood up, “I want her. She knows that too. Feels it in her body how much I crave her. That I’d do everything she’d want if she’d let me” Felix voice was clear as day. This was it then. The confession that he felt the same. That he’d gladly fall into bed and do all the things I’d been fantasizing about these last couple of weeks. My breath hitched. I gulped hard. Heard how they were talking with hushed angry voices but couldn’t make out any words because of the thumping of my heart in my ears. Felt how my stomach turned from both the alcohol still resting there and the butterflies that fluttered faster than they had ever done before. I staggered and realized that I was still quite tipsy. Enough so to lose myself for a few seconds, closed my eyes and let my head hang when I felt arousal simmer in the pit of my stomach when images of me and my best friend played like a movie on the blackness of my eyelids. Fuck. I inhaled sharply. Tried to regain my balance when the room temporarily spun around me. Filled up my glass with more water, drank it slowly, with my eyes still closed and did a small body shake to relax my tense muscles before I opened them again and met my own gaze in the mirror. Swallowed hard. Removed some make-up that traced under my eyes with my index fingers. Put on some lip balm and tried to calm my racing heart when I walked out again. Thoughts burning like a racing wildfire in my mind and I must’ve looked a bit lost when I entered the living room again because Chris voice suddenly broke the silence. “Babe? You ok there?” I looked up and met his eyes. Confusion in his eyes and a worried wrinkle between his brows and I gave him a small smile before looking over at the rest of the boys. “Yeah, I’m fine” I answered, and Chris nodded, satisfied with my answer and returned the smile I gave him. The others joined him with the small smiles before they turned to each other again, acting completely normal while changing the subject from what they were talking about when I was absent. There was something tense in the air though and if I hadn’t just heard what had been going on, I’d probably question it. Glanced over at Felix who still hadn’t given me a smile yet while my fingers fiddled with my college shirt. He knew just as well as me that I’d lied. Could see it the way my eyes still flickered, the way my smile didn’t reach my eyes, the way I hid my hands into the arms of my shirt instead as I felt the weight of his gaze, the way my shoulders hunched forward slightly; like I wanted to disappear within myself. I tried to give him another smile. Tried to persuade him into thinking that I was ok. But he still didn’t believe me. Only gave me a gentle smile back, with a small tilt of his head, fingers twitching like he wanted to reach out but was blocked by Chris, since he sat closest to me, a small sigh left his lips when I finally sat back down, at the same spot, to erase suspicion. Felt how he bumped his shoulder with mine, ever so slightly and looked up at him just as he gave me a side glance, pulling a face because he knew that even though I couldn’t tell why I was feeling bad, he could still make me feel better. I sighed, looked away again and saw how he was grinning in my peripheral when a real smile tugged at the corners of my lips as I listened to Jeongin and the apparent subject of ’life-on- Mars-is-real-because-they-just-send-up-bigger-robots-and-they-found-out-that-the-level-of-oxygen-in-summer-there-is-much-higher-than-expected’

[treasure-my-aurora]

We’ve got Tonight

• Summary: I’d known Felix since before he was born. My tiny preschool hand would often press flat against his mother’s round belly while I looked up at her with surprised innocent eyes as the baby inside kicked against my hand. Known him as a brother, a best friend and a rock to lean against through my whole life. But now, in just a month, he’d be going away to train with some of the best in the industry, and with time running out, perhaps there is more than just platonic feelings between us… something that would bring up more pain, jealousy and sorrow than we could ever imagine.

♥ Pairing: Bang Chan/Reader/Felix

♦ Chapter: 6/9

♣ Words: 2313

♠ Genre (in this one): Angst

“Hi” “Hi” Felix had barely opened the door to his room, and I feared for a moment that he wasn’t alone. A change of my expression as I glanced behind him and that was all he needed to open it fully. “I’m alone. If that’s what you’re wondering. I wouldn’t answer the door if I wasn’t” He stepped aside to let me in and I didn’t comment on the fact that it was clear that someone had been in there, even if they weren’t anymore. “Rude” I answered and sat down in the chair at his desk while he sat down on the bed, hands folded in his knees, “What? Would you?” He asked, surprised and I shrugged, “I’ve answered a phone call from you mid-fucking, so yes” He cringed, shook his head with slight disgust, “I didn’t need to know that, but thanks” “You’re welcome” I mumbled, awkwardly and fiddled with my fingernails. “Can we-” Felix started out, but I immediately shook my head, “Nope, we can’t” “But I-” “Am gonna forget about it” “And you-” “Will forget about it as well” “And Chris-” “Is ok” We spoke like we usually did, despite the clear tense feeling between us and I just looked at him as he nodded silently afterwards. My heart gushing with anxiety as something, so real that I could almost touch it, changed in the air around us and I sighed deeply. Felt how that unbroken bond between us cracked like fresh ice when you stepped on it, when I flat out refused to talk about the kiss that happened yesterday. “So, the two of you-” “Are ok. We’ll figure something out. He’s an ass. But he’s my ass, and I love him. “I just- don’t wanna see you hurting” “Don’t wanna see me hurting, I know” We finished the last line at the same time and Felix chuckled softly as I smiled brightly at him. Patted next to him and reached out for me and I was just about to take his hand when I remembered what had happened on the same bed within the last 24 hours. Felt how my smile fell when I realized the fear that I would smell someone else than him or me on his sheets. My eyes flicked and he noticed, of course he did, and a small sigh left his lips as his hand fell back against his side. “Sorry” He said, and I gave him a small smile that didn’t reach my eyes. Not knowing why he felt the need to apologize. - I was alone, sitting on the sofa in my apartment while browsing through the photos in my camera album. A mug of tea in my other hand, pressed it close to my chest while I listened to the silence that surrounded me. Let the hot beverage fill my stomach and sighed with content to this calm moment of my own. Paused at a photo I had taken off Chris and couldn’t help but to smile a little. It was a bit out of focus, and he sat on a lawn chair among friends. The moment was snapped shot a few months ago when the days where warmer and we sat in the back garden of Jisung and Seungmin’s dormitory until the late hours of the night. Just talking around a small bonfire while eating snacks and drinking, holding each other and celebrated summer. I chewed on the inside of my lip when I zoomed in on his smiling face, bright and with eyes crinkling while looking over at Woojin, who’d just told a joke. Swiped over to the right and clenched my jaw when the next photo took over the screen. It was a few days later. Still a hot day, with the blazing sun in the background. Felix's eyes were squeezed shut, scrunching his nose with a spoon upside down between his lips. Close enough to the camera that I could count every freckle on his face. Pink strawberry ice cream in the corners of his lips, wearing a big tee that I’d stolen three weeks later. Hair still bleached blonde and I smiled at the memory. Cringed at the pain when I felt how much it hurt and swallowed hard. I never thought love could be anything like this. The familiarity. The commitment that I felt to the two most important men in my life. The way it felt when I woke up in Felix’s bed one day after spending the night when Chris wanted to hang out with his friends in uni. The way it felt when I woke up in the bed I shared with Chris, because Felix was busy with the last preparations of his trip. The way I couldn’t help but reach out to them both when I woke up first, brushing away the fringe from their foreheads with a gentle touch. Smiling as they stirred awake, both with brown eyes, both with smiles on their faces when they saw me and both putting their arm around me and pulling me closer with a satisfied hum. Chris pressed his good morning kiss on my lips and Felix pressed his on my forehead and I felt my heart flutter with happiness both times. It felt like I was the main character in a K-drama. But the playful love triangle in some of them was much messier in real life, and even if the series that ran on TV in the small hours of the night always had a romantic aspect in it, despite the angsty drama between the three people, my situation couldn’t be further away from that. It hurt when the emotions, the thoughts of them both and our impossible situation, slashed at my heart, creating tiny nicks that constantly bled, no matter what I did. Not to mention how ridiculously much time it swallowed. Just thinking about what I should do. If I wanted to let my best friend go. Maybe even for good. If Chris was right when he said that our relationship wasn’t natural. That there should be something separating us, for us to be whole again. Me as me and him as him. That we had to grow up and stop living in a fantasy world where the two of us could be best friends forever, frolicking through a meadow with the sun setting… It just wasn’t realistic to keep dreaming like that. I was closing in on my mid 20s while Felix haven't even reached that number yet… and a part of me felt perverse. Disgusted with myself when I imagined him with me, doing all the things that I desperately craved by now. For us to completely indulge within each other. Got off on just the thought of how good the sex would be with our level of communication. How we'd be able to just become one without any of that awkwardness that usually happens when you slept with someone the first few times. But then I remembered who I was fantasizing about and my whole body froze. Remembered and felt sick to the stomach when I thought back about the way our life had been leading up to today. He’d always been smaller than me, always been one you could easily pick on and I had always been like a bigger sister. Always there to make sure that he was ok. But that all changed last summer, and even though I couldn’t pinpoint the exact moment, I guess that something snapped the line of protective feelings I had towards him when I realized that he was older than I thought. That he’d grown up into a young man and I stood, fixated on the sidewalk beside him, watching as he seemed to age even more as the months flew by. How that innocence he always carried with him disappeared in an instance after Christmas when I nearly walked in on him. All of a sudden, everything changed, and I hated, hated to admit that he was hot. That e was honestly drop dead gorgeous after his jawline sharpened and the atmosphere around him switched from boy to man over spring and summer. I cursed myself daily. Cursed the fact that I felt attracted to the same person I’d seen growing up. That we had to be so close. That he still, now more than ever, glanced over at me while he thought I didn’t see. Not because he felt attracted to me but because I was interesting, simply because I was a woman. I guessed that it was just simpler like that, for him. Rather than staring at the girls in his class, because we always spend so much time together… And then there was Chris. The man I’ve thought of as the love of my life for the past five years. We began dating for real after he’d turned 19, simply because I felt uncomfortable with going out with someone younger than that. He’d been pressing me for two years though, constantly telling me that he didn’t mind that I was older but I felt dirty, like I was doing something forbidden every time he tried to talk me into sleeping with him and we kept our relationship status as friends; even dated others during that time. Our relationship was comfortable without the need to be together all the time. Out on adventurers throughout the first years of knowing each other and decided to move in together shortly after his 20th birthday. We lived and laughed together. Went on trips. Learned, loved, appreciated each other and the world around us. Promised each other to grow old together, to support each other and even though there wasn’t a physical ring around our fingers, since we both didn’t like the jewellery, there was a silent agree of an engagement. Only time could tell when we both felt that we were ready to actually buy the rings. And the rest is history, basically. We got along well, he was able to make music through university and I was able to work with my biggest passion and together we build a good life. Based on trust and commitment. Both which had never been threatened until now. Until the repressed feelings, the cloudy thoughts and emotions I’d buried deep in my heart flared up when Felix showed me the scholarship he’d received and told me that he’d travel to the other side of the earth. And here we were, just a few days until his departure. My heart torn to pieces. Delirium and sentimentality shooting holes through my mind and soul with every passing minute I spend with Felix. Guilt and conflict cracking in my joints with every passing minute I spend with Chris and it felt like I was falling apart. Like I was a ragdoll getting divided by two people, each of them loving me so much it hurt and each of them so important to me that I couldn’t pick one. - Sure, things felt strange between us now. We were more careful, not consciously as touchy feely as we’d been before, but I refused to let a feeling stop me from spending every waking moment with my best friend as the days passed quicker and quicker. We’d been watching a movie, and I scooted closer to him as the minutes passed, as if my body were drawn to him like a magnet and we both took a shaky inhale of relief when I leaned against him, and he placed his arm around me. Turned me around to face him, let us both fall to the side and I couldn’t help myself from burying my nose in the nape of his neck, stretching out like a content cat to feel his body against mine. Not caring about the movie as I tangled one leg with his before throwing the other over his waist. “I hate Hyunjin” Felix whispered, as he sighed deeply and I just hummed in agreement, knowing that he was talking about the stupid pandora’s box dare and the kiss that changed us, “I love you, noona. I don’t want anything to stop those emotions to reach you. Not a stupid dare, or the fact that I won’t be able to see that smile of yours in person for six months” “Don’t remind me” I whispered back. Voice slightly muffled from being pressed against his skin and he shivered slightly from my breath against his neck. Felt how badly my heart hurt when I held him tighter and how my body betrayed me as he pressed his against mine. How my heart flipped and the need to push him closer with the leg over his waist increased when I felt the slight dent of his cock in his pants press up against the warmth between my legs. Swore that I could feel his breath hitch in his throat when he felt the same things as I, but the two of us refused to act upon the feeling. Even as my arousal started to burn as he grew harder. Lasting in our comfortable position for as long as we could before I removed my leg and he swallowed hard, tensing up as he held himself back from chasing my heat. His erection poked against my thigh and I suppressed a gasp when he placed a lock of hair behind my ear. Breath ghosting against my lips when I met his dark eyes. A sad smile crinkled them, and I knew exactly how he felt. Even though he probably wouldn’t admit so, himself. Hoped so badly, that I felt ashamed of myself, that he got turned on because I was the one pressing up against him and not because he needed to get off and I was just a familiar body. Cursed my own heart when I realized how fucked up our situation really were.

[treasure-my-aurora]

We’ve got Tonight

• Summary: I’d known Felix since before he was born. My tiny preschool hand would often press flat against his mother’s round belly while I looked up at her with surprised innocent eyes as the baby inside kicked against my hand. Known him as a brother, a best friend and a rock to lean against through my whole life. But now, in just a month, he’d be going away to train with some of the best in the industry, and with time running out, perhaps there is more than just platonic feelings between us… something that would bring up more pain, jealousy and sorrow than we could ever imagine.

♥ Pairing: Bang Chan/Reader/Felix

♦ Chapter: 5/9

♣ Words: 4391

♠ Genre (in this one): Angst, smut

Friday. A week since I fought with Chris for the first time and spend the night at Felix. We were still angry, frustrated with each other. But he loved me, I knew that and in the bottom of his heart, he knew that I loved him too. Knew that the five years we’ve spent together hasn’t been fake. That we could push through this, even if it was tough right now. We were at our place again, like we usually were, simply because we lived in the middle of our group of friends and there was a bus stop right below our apartment. We’d just started drinking, or well, most of them had. I was one ahead though, my heart skipping from the thought of having my boyfriend and best friend in the same room again and nervously gulped down a glass of wine before Hyunjin, Jisung and Minho stumbled through or front door. I’d looked behind them, expecting more people to come through the door but Jeongin, Changbin, Woojin and Seungmin had to stay home and study for upcoming essays and I pouted when Jisung told me. I’d wanted to pull the youngest in the group aside to thank him for the other day when he decided to tell a white lie and probably save the friendship with my best friend, but I guess that could wait for another time. Said best friend arrived just a few minutes later, dressed in a white dress shirt with three quarter sleeves, matching black dress pants, one dangly silver earring in his left ear and I quickly closed my mouth as it fell open when I opened the door to greet him. He still saw the reaction though, eyes quick to pick up the barely three second change of my expression and knowing exactly what it meant. Tilted his head as he hung his jacket, a smirk playing on his lips before he placed his arms around me, pulling me closer in a tight hug. “Thank you, you look amazing as well” I snorted out a laugh, closed my eyes as the familiar scent of his cologne filled my senses and almost immediately felt how the anxiousness that I’d been carrying all day melted away. How I finally felt at home, better than I did between the walls I lived. “Hi” Chris voice was heavy. Followed by an even heavier sigh and Felix quickly let me go, looked past me, still with one arm around me and I could see how his jaw clenched as he met the other’s eyes, “Hi, Chris” He answered, and I took a step back, placing myself between them, “For the sake of everyone else, let’s play it cool… ok?” I begged and looked at them both. “I won’t start anything” Felix answered, still with his eyes locked with Chris as the older answered with a small shrug, “I’m cool” I sighed. Reached out for my best friend first and he grabbed my hand before he broke the gaze between the two of them, met my eyes instead and I couldn’t help but reciprocate when he gave me a soft smile that crinkled the corners of his eyes. I reached out my other hand to Chris and he looked between the two of us before he took it, pain hidden behind his eyes as he looked away again. Felix's eyes flicked from Chris to the place where our bodies connected and his brows furrowed, upper lip curling, just for a second and I wondered if he felt disgust, knowing that the hand holding mine had been placed around my throat numerous times since the two of them last met a week ago. That it was that hand that cut off my air supply and caused faded marks on the dips over my collarbones. I didn’t have time to wonder anymore though as I led them into the living room where the energy was already on top, even though we were a smaller group than normal. …. “I know, let’s play Pandora’s box!” It was about an hour later and all of us were fairly tipsy. Hyunjin was giggling through the entire sentence and the rest of us looked at him, a bit confused as to what he meant, “We have a box, or a bowl or whatever, it doesn’t really matter and then we write things, a few each since we are so few, and put it in the box. It could be anything really, but aimed at someone specifically and then that person has to do what the note says” “So, a more anonymous version of truth or dare, and the person who gets picked can’t choose?” I asked and Hyunjin nods, grinning from ear to ear like he was holding onto way too many secrets for this game to be comfortable. “Let’s do it!” Jisung shouted, already hyped and the rest of the group agreed. I felt nervous but still stood up to go and fetch a shoebox from my wardrobe since it was the only sort of box we owned, took out the shoes that were inside and went back to the group while Chris handled our paper and pen to everyone. We took a few minutes to write down some questions and Minho snickered evilly from across the room which earned a surprise reaction from some of us when we looked up, not expecting something like than from him. “Ah, I’m a bit worried now” Jisung complained while he scribbled down something of his own. “Everybody ready?” Chris asked and was met by several “Yes” just as he placed his own notes in the shoebox. We sat down in a circle around the living room table and I changed the upbeat music to something slower, to bring down the tempo. Chris handled the box to Hyunjin, and he looked surprised that his hyung gave him the reins, but only for a second though before he closed his hands around the cardboard edges and placed it in his lap, “Ya’ll ready?” He shouted out, smiling from ear to ear again, excited that we all wanted to play along with his game, “Ok, first one. Jisungie, do you love me?” We all looked over at the munchkin boy just as he took a sip of his drink and he looked back just as confused, “I guess so? I dunno who-” Minho looked away, just as Jisung eyes swept over him, cheeks flushing slightly, “Of course I love you” The younger of the two said when he realized who had written the note and fluttered his eyelashes at him while the rest of us burst out in laughter. “Ok, you’re supposed to ask tougher questions like that, but I guess you get the point… Ah, this one is for me” Hyunjin read it silently for himself first and then rolled his eyes, “Hyunjinnie. If you were forced to date someone in this room, who’s it be and why? Noona is excluded because she’s the only girl” Hyunjin pursed his lips in thought, eyes squinting as he tried to figure out both who’d written the note and who he’d pick, “I’d chose Chris” “Me?” Chris asked and pointed at himself, clearly surprised” “Yeah, you have an income, you are smart, you have an apartment, I’ve seen the way you kiss noona and she’s not exactly quiet when the two of you fuck, so you must be doing something right” Hyunjin counted up the profits on his fingers with a small smile on his lips and I felt my whole body become warm as I flustered from embarrassment. Felix squirmed in his seat slightly, barely noticeable and my eyes still flicked over to him, but he didn’t meet my eyes. “What about noona, where would she live?” Minho laughed and Hyunjin shrugged, “She’ll be fine. It’s not like she’d be lonely” Chris hand on my thigh gripped me harder when everyone’s eyes lingered on Felix for a moment and Hyunjin cleared his throat to break the suddenly tense atmosphere in the room. He continued to read the questions, dared Minho to call his mother and only talk in English (it failed terribly since she immediately recognized his voice and scolded him for waking her up) dared Chris to stare into Hyunjin’s eyes for ten seconds and tell him that he loved him without breaking eye contact or laugh (it failed as well, even though they tried four times) asked Felix to tell everyone the truth if he ever doubted mine and his friendship to which he simply answered “No” and just left it at that, refusing to say anything more since it didn’t say so on the note. So far, everything had been sweet, fun and mildly pg-13. That quickly changed though when Hyunjin picked up the next note and laughed loudly, “I’d suck dick for 122,000 won” “Would you?” Minho looked at him, a mixed expression on his face and laughter bounced off the walls, “It’s a three, two, one question” Hyunjin quickly added, a bit flustered and I giggled and took another sip as I raised my hand on the “One” before bursting out in laughter when I realized that all of us had our hand up in the air. “Wow, that’s sad. We’re all a bunch of poor hoes” Jisung muttered and we all snorted out a small chuckle. “Ok, next one. Noona, would you be into buttstuff if you tried it?” Hyunjin avoided my eyes, slowly folded the note twice and placed it in the pile with the rest of the read notes. Curious eyes watched me as shrugged, “Maybe I tried it already and maybe it was completely fine” I answered and was met by a long whistle from Jisung, “Lucky man, Chris” He was met by finger guns from the older at my left and I rolled my eyes as Hyunjin continued, “Felix, if noona wouldn’t be in a relationship, do you think that the two of you would be a couple by now?” The men beside me froze as they both looked over at me and I met Felix eyes. The conflicted hurt in them. The way that his tongue flicked out to nervously wet his lips. The way his knuckles whitened as he held onto the bottle hard. The way his cheeks flushed as his eyes flicked behind me to meet Chris for a few seconds before he looked over at me again, “No, I don’t think so. I definitely would’ve made a move on her though. Probably around spring this year when I got more confident with myself. She would say no though, most likely. Silence fell upon us and Hyunjin was just about to open his mouth to ask a follow-up question when I interrupted him, “Next question?” He cleared his throat, scrambled around in the box, pulled up one and read, “I’d give my kidney to the person to my right! Three, two, one” All of us had our hand up except for Hyunjin himself and Jisung shoved him with playful anger, “What do you mean no, why wouldn’t you?” He asked and the older of the two looked at him dumbfounded, “I don’t think we have the same blood type” “We do, asshole” Jisung hit him on the shoulder as laughter roared between us again. Two more rounds of both innocent and more mature questions circled before Hyunjin, clearly drunk by now, laughed loudly at the next one. Eyes squinting and the first two buttons of his dress shirt undone, “I’m going to attack the person that wrote this with a big, fluffy hug. Noona, who’s the better kisser. Chris or Felix?” I flinched at the unexpected question, felt myself flush, both from the alcohol and the way Felix breath hitched at my right. Looked over at Chris, who clearly was on the verge of having had too much to drink, to look for… any sort of discomfort to the question. But he only shrugged, and I didn’t know if I should feel relieved or hurt that he didn’t seem to care. Glanced at Felix to see if it seemed like he’d flat out refuse to go through with the question, but he avoided my eyes and I felt my heart flip hard in my chest. I started with my boyfriend, to calm my nerves a little. I had stopped drinking as soon as I felt myself standing on the edge of being too drunk, but still stumbled a little as I stood up, bend over and both Hyunjin and Jisung leaned over to the side to see properly as Chris cupped my face and leaned in, like he’d done a thousand times before. Eyes fluttering close as he smirked against my lips and I fell into the taste of him, the familiarity of his cupids bow against mine. The way he knew his way around my mouth had me gasping within seconds. The boys on the couch groaned lightly to the softcore porn that played out before them when Chris buried his fingers in the length of my hair and pulled on it harshly as he licked his way into my mouth. I separated us the second I felt that he started yearning for more and flashed him a smile when he whined to the loss. Pouted and crossed his arms over his chest when I turned to the audience, took a sip of my drink to make the taste of Chris disappear and then shifted my attention to my best friend. I was thankful that he’d placed his drink on the floor, unsure if the bottle would’ve been broken by now because he’d been gripping it so hard earlier. Gave him a look, a silent question if he was ok with what was going to happen, and he swallowed hard. Eyes hooded and slightly blown out from the alcohol flowing in his system and he licked along his bottom lip, nervously as I closed the distance between us with two steps. Unexpectedly stood up as well, scraping the chair against the floor when he did so, and my heart jumped in my chest as he closed the last few decimetres. Carefully placed his right arm around my waist to press my body closer and I quickly glanced at Chris over my shoulder. His face was illuminated by the blue whiteness of his phone screen, avoiding the scene altogether. “Noona” Felix's voice was low and the slightly constricted, husky tone in it, had my stomach doing somersaults. “Felix?” I asked back and he smiled softly, as I placed my right hand around him as well. Felt the lean muscles on his back twitch underneath my fingertips and like so many times before, our movements matched as we raised our other hand at the same time and cupped each other’s cheeks, like a mirrored image. “Are you sure?” He asked and I shivered from the heat of his breath as it ghosted over my face. I didn’t answer. The sick part of me that wanted him so much it nearly physically hurt me, couldn’t wait anymore and I closed my eyes as I leaned forward. Heart flipping in my chest and stomach turning so much that I choked on my breath when his lips pressed onto mine. A soft sigh escaped into the air between us when he quickly deepened it, not even pausing to let me breathe before he coaxed my lips open with a tilt of his head, tongue sneaking out to meet mine and it was easy, simple, given. Like anything else between us. Like I’d been kissing him for years. Knew exactly how to meet every hungry motion against me. Every eager brush of his body. A gasp escaped my lips when his hands tugged on my hair, but unlike Chris, he was careful, fingers playing with the roots behind my ear as his thumb fondly stroked down my cheek. He tasted sugary sweet from the drink he’d been drinking, and I couldn’t help but whine softly to the taste as I melted to putty in his hands, revelling in the feeling as he pressed his body closer against me. The body I was so used to, knowing it almost as well as I knew my own. Groaned as he arched my back in his need for more, an arm still locked around my waist to hold me up. I could feel my arousal burn between my legs. Clenched around nothing when that dark voice of his gasped out a small “Noona” underneath his breath, silent enough that I was the only one who heard. Combed through the soft, lilac hair of his. Felt it ripple between my fingers as the kiss grew sloppy when I tugged at it in the back of his head. My breath hitched when I felt the effect that my insatiable greed for more had on him. The feeling of his half hard cock against my thigh got me lightheaded and I could feel my eyes roll back as I completely submitted to his need when the hand that had been cupping my face scraped my scalp before he tugged on my hair harder, to make me crane my neck backwards as if he wanted to disappear within me. Got drunk on the wet sounds of tongues, lips and careful nibbles that were exchanged between us and couldn’t help but rub my thighs together. Indulged in the burn of ferocious hunger as it clouded my senses and I was pretty sure I’d let him fuck me right there and then, on the floor with our group of friends surrounding us if it weren’t for a loud couch to my right. I paused as the sound send me back to earth like a slap to the face and quickly took a step back, almost causing Felix to fall forward, a thin string of saliva breaking between us and wet my chin as I meet Chris eyes. He didn’t look disappointed, not even angry with the way things clearly went over the line. Just tired, exhausted really and I looked back at Felix, who wiped away at his own chin. Eyes so dark I had to swallow hard to keep a gasp from slipping out. I then turned to the boys in the couch, all three of them leaning forward, mouth open and eyes blown out from the scene that had happened. Hyunjin actually slurped to swallow the drool that had collected in his mouth just as Jisung cleared his throat loudly, “So… you guys wanna have a circle jerk?” He looked over at Hyunjin first, who still stared at us, squirming in his seat as he swallowed hard again. Then to Minho who only gave him a look, brows furrowed while slowly shaking his head, “No? Ok, then” He swallowed hard as well while grabbing a pillow at his side and quickly pressed it against his crotch before leaning back against the sofa, a wrinkle between his brows from the uncomfortable tightness in his pants. …. My heart thumped hard in my chest when Chris closed the front door after saying goodbye another hour later and I watched my feet. Too scared to meet his eyes after what had happened. But he didn’t say anything. Just went to the bathroom, muttering curse words aimed at our horny group of friends while brushing his teeth and I still stood where I was, unsure if I should just spare him the words and pack a bag so I could catch up with Felix before he jumped on the bus. “Why are you still standing there?” Chris asked and I met his eyes, confused at the tone of his voice. “You… you’re not gonna…” I stammered and he shook his head. “You didn’t answer the question Hyunjin asked earlier, you know” He steered off my question and motioned for me to come with him to the bedroom, stifling a yawn behind his hand. I looked at him, puzzled and he laid down on his side bed, patted for me to lie down as well. “You didn’t say who was the better kisser” Chris said, a lopsided smirk still playing on his lips and I realised that he was still slightly tipsy. That was probably why he wasn’t angry with me at the moment. “It’s a secret” I answered while he reached out to trace his fingertips over the curve of my body as I laid on my side, facing him, “You can tell me” He whispered back, and I shook my head, “But then it’s not a secret” “Ah, right” He chuckled, “But it was me, right?” and I swallowed hard before I smiled back, an uncomfortable feeling in the pit of my stomach and I suddenly wished that I wasn’t were I was. That I didn’t need to take care of Chris and his jealousy. That I didn’t have to feel every fibre in my body screaming out that the person I really wanted to spend time with probably sat on a bus back to his dorm by now. That there even was a rather large chance he’d call that girl to help him take care of the problem that I knew still burned through his bloodstream. “Babe. You know I love you right?” Something affectionate and almost weak suddenly clouded Chris voice and it brought me back from my train of thought as he looked over at me with a slight pout on his lips. Eyes still dazed from the alcohol that still streamed through his body, “I know I’m an asshole. That I get crazy because I want to be the only one for you. I really am sorry” His voice broke as he grabbed my hand, pressed a kiss against my knuckles, and I could feel my heart breaking. Guilt slashed painfully through me as I watched him. My brows furrowing as I questioned myself what I was doing? Daydreaming about a boy that will never love me back in the way I wanted him. Longing for my best friend in ways that wasn’t normal. Hungering for a different touch than the one he usually gave me. The sick feeling in my stomach spread and I sat up slightly, scared that I’d actually puke all over the bed. “I just can’t lose you” Chris moved over to me as I sat up, chasing after my body to seek comfort, “I know that you can easily be fine without me. But you have always been the one, the only one for me. I love you, I love you so much… Fuck” He cursed under his breath and I heard how his breath hitched as he buried his face into my hand, tears wetting the cracks between my fingers and I flinched before I scooted closer to him, cradled him in my arms as he sobbed. I felt bad. He could be an asshole, a jealous one too sometimes but that only made him human and I knew that I couldn’t really be one to judge when my sins were even heavier than his. His lips found mine and I tasted the salt of his tears on his cupids bow. Voice breaking again as he let out a rumbling moan, moving so that he was on top of me instead and I leaned back against the bed, closed my legs around his waist and brought him in closer as he deepened the kiss. “I want you to forget about him. Want to be the only one to kiss you until we’re old and grey. Want to erase the thought, the way he kissed you earlier. The way you sounded” He whispered over my skin as his kisses travelled from my lips down my throat, nibbling on the sensitive area just below my ear. Thrusted hard and slow against my clothed cunt and I gasped softly between clenched teeth as he carefully rid up my shirt, fingers drumming on my stomach as he leaned back to meet my eyes and I swallowed hard when I saw my own reflection in them. “I love you babe. Love your body” He placed a small kiss between my rib cages, “Love your laugh” He nibbled over the thin skin over the bones that hid my vitals and I giggled on que from the ticklish feeling, “Love every part of you” He unbuckled my belt, and I raised my hips so he could slide my pants over my butt and thighs before throwing it aside. A small gasp escaped his lips as he pressed the next kisses on my inner thighs and I groaned softly as I closed my eyes, fingers automatically buried in his hair. “No. I- I want you to watch babe. I need to make sure that you only think of me” Chris voice was low, husky, demanding and I let go of him to raise myself up on my elbows and watch as he slid my panties down as well. A moan rumbling in his chest from the wetness that soaked them, both from earlier and right now. A soft hand separated my thighs, “There we go, ah fuck babe. You’re so pretty” He inhaled sharply and didn’t waste a second before laying his tongue flat over my cunt, lapping up the juices with a low hum of content. Two fingers entering me swiftly and I was a gasping mess within seconds. He knew exactly which buttons to press at which time and it took my breath away completely. It didn’t take long, a swift flick of his wrist, a low hum that send vibrations through my body, a careful nibble on my clit with his lips, his fingertips pressed up on the right spot and I was gone. The pent up need I’d had in my system had been going on overdrive for way to long. I motioned for him to get up, still high from the orgasm, used to the way he worked by now, but he strained against my touch, “No, this was just the first. I need you to come so many times you’ll forget his name. That you’ll forget about him completely. I want you to scream my name. Eyes on me” I nodded and choked on my breath when he went in for another taste.

[treasure-my-aurora]

We’ve got Tonight

• Summary: I’d known Felix since before he was born. My tiny preschool hand would often press flat against his mother’s round belly while I looked up at her with surprised innocent eyes as the baby inside kicked against my hand. Known him as a brother, a best friend and a rock to lean against through my whole life. But now, in just a month, he’d be going away to train with some of the best in the industry, and with time running out, perhaps there is more than just platonic feelings between us… something that would bring up more pain, jealousy and sorrow than we could ever imagine.

♥ Pairing: Bang Chan/Reader/Felix

♦ Chapter: 4/9

♣ Words: 3253

♠ Genre (in this one): Fluff, angst, teasing

“So, I came to visit you yesterday, but you were…uh… occupied” Felix rolled his eyes and bit his tongue, a look of disbelief on his face as he tried to hide the embarrassed smile that tugged on his lips, “So that’s what Jeongin meant when he mentioned that I probably shouldn’t try to contact you” My brows furrowed in confusion, “No, that’s exactly the opposite of what I said” He shrugged and pursed his lips, watching his feet instead, “Maybe he misunderstood” ‘Or maybe he saw the look I had on my face and decided that I needed a breather before I saw my best friend again’ I thought and was suddenly glad that the younger had taken the decision to not listen to me. It was sunny today too and we sat on a picnic blanket in a park, snacks spread out around us. Weather still warm but the big tree above us had started to change from luscious green to bright yellow and I pulled my light jacket closer around my body as a gust of wind blew through it. “Well, was it something you wanted?” Felix asked, ears slightly red from the confession that I’d heard things yesterday, that he probably wanted to keep private and I paused. Picked on the grass just beside the edge of the blanket to collect my thoughts. There were so many things that I wanted to ask. Why? How did the two of you meet? Was she just a random encounter? Was it good? Did she spend the night? Did she sleep next to you like I usually do? Did she held onto you as you pressed kisses on her body? Did you close your eyes the moment you entered her? Did you think of me when you came? Because you feel the change of air between us as well? Could you even guess that you’d been in my thoughts as my body shuddered from the little death, way, way too many times these past days? I sat up more properly, legs folded underneath me in a lotus position and sighed out an exhale, fiddling with my fingernails instead, “Nothing really, I just wanted to spend time with you, that’s all” I said with a small smile and he met my eyes from underneath his fringe, one eyebrow raised as he heard the tone in my voice and I quickly looked away again but knew that I’d been busted the second he opened his mouth again. “What are you not telling me?” He asked, softly and reached out to touch my hand but paused his movements when I flinched slightly from his touch, and the small inhale of surprise that left his lips only made me hang my head lower. I had never, ever flinched away from him, and I could see in my peripheral that his eyes searched for mine as he paused for a few seconds before he scooted closer, slowly, like he was approaching an injured animal. Reached out again, carefully this time and half expecting that I’d flinch again; thankful that I didn’t though and interlaced our fingers. His other hand moved back my hair from my neck in an innocent gesture since it partly covered my face, and the gulp that followed as he saw of the marks that I knew were there made my heart flip uncomfortably in my chest. I didn’t protest when he slipped his fingers into the neckline of my shirt. Only chewed nervously on the inside of my cheek when I felt his touch on the red indents of fingertips, some new and some that had turned into bruises over the last few days. I refused to meet his eyes when he checked the other side and confirmed to himself with a hum that a similar mark were there as well. His body tensed up as he swallowed hard, and I took a deep breath, not realizing that I’d held it when he touched me. “Good or bad?” His voice was strained, and I sighed deeply, “Both” “Both?” His voice dropped an octave and I flinched at the annoyed tone in it. I squeezed the hand that still held mine to reassure him and shook my head, stroking over the lines on his thumb while I cleared my throat. “We’ve fought and fucked basically every day. I don’t know if we’re ever going to be able to bounce back to the way we used to be… I mean- If there was ever a time like that… I-” Felix scooted closer, our knees bumping together when he placed my hair behind my ear and I sighed again, my breath hitching slightly as the feeling of content sent a rush of happiness through my body from his touch. So gentle that I wanted to cry. “He is… obsessed with the thought that I have… feelings for you” I mumbled and felt how Felix froze beside me. The skin on my hands tickled as his fingers twitched in mine and I feared for a moment that he’d let me go and just walk away because of the weirdness of the situation. “That’s a bit strange” He said with a small tilt of his head, eyes watching our interlaced fingers with the same sudden interest as I. “I know, right? I’ve spent, well, all your life with you and now, for the first time ever, you’re not going to be there anymore. It’s not that tough to understand that I want to spend time with you then, right? And because of that, because I choose to spend so much time with you… he is jealous. Feels left out. Paranoid that I’m sneaking behind his back” I cleared my throat and Felix just nodded back, a bit stiff and I felt my heart drop. He was uncomfortable with the situation and I didn’t blame him. “Sorry, that was my TMI for the day… who uh-” I cleared my throat again, more pronounced this time to lighten up the situation and finally looked up again, wetted my lips as my tongue flicked out and he did exactly the same. Copying my movements like I sat in front of a mirror, his legs folded as well, holding his body in the same position as I did, with his right hand holding my left, my right hand resting on my right knee, his vice versa, and the image, the realization, struck my heart and made me fall out of balance for a second. “A girl from my class. We’ve never talked. Barely even seen each other and before I know it, I’m pressed up against a wall after dance practise, pushed into a janitor’s locker and gets my life sucked outta my dick” I hold back a laugh, and his cheeks flush pink as he rolls his eyes again, ashamed of the words that just slipped out of his mouth, and pressed the back of his hand, that wasn’t occupied, on the heated area, like the motion would force the heat away. My heart felt heavy at the bottom of my stomach when I imagined the process of someone else giving him everything that I wanted to do, but I couldn’t help the small giggle that bubbled out from my chest anyway. Because Felix smile was so great that his eyes were like two crescent moons over a sea of freckled stars. - It was a calm day, rain smattering the window facing the bar and I sighed deeply as I looked out before glancing at the digital clock in the corner of the cash register screen, catching my boss’s eyes when I looked back up. A small embarrassed blush on my cheeks when I realised that she’d seen that I checked how much time I still had until closing “How are you feeling?” She asked as I picked up a cloth, wet it with water and began cleaning the work area under the rows of syrup and sweet sauces to buy time. She was a gentle woman in her mid-forties, with the same passion for coffee and personal connection with our patrons that I had and we kind of clicked when I did my appliance interview nearly 6 years ago. She was fond of me, often referred to me as her eldest daughter since she didn’t have any of her own, only a gang of three boys in middle and high school. I paused for a second when her question threw me out of balance. I was used to being asked deep questions and often talked to her when something bothered me since my parents lived in a few towns over and I so rarely met them nowadays. She did, however, usually asked me questions when we were alone. I couldn’t help but notice a slightly intrusive patron nearby, acting like they weren’t curious at all by my answer and I wet my lips, a bit nervous. Hesitated and pondered if I wanted to tell her the whole truth. “I uh… I’m fine… it’s… tough with, you know what” I answered as vaguely as possible and the snooping patron pursed their lips, looking almost disappointed when she answered with, “I know” I had told her nearly everything months ago, from the fact that Felix would be going away to my confusing feelings and she’d just placed a hand on my shoulder when I asked her what I should do. Just like she did now as well, “You’ll know what to do when you stand at the airport with the two of them. First then, you’ll be able to make a decision with who you want to stay with” I’d smiled at her then, knowing that I couldn’t leave my home, my work, to follow my best friend. But she’d only smiled back, talking as if she could read my thoughts. “I’ll support you no matter what. You will always have work here and if you need economical support if you decide to go-” I protested loudly, making a few patrons look up with surprised expressions but she only shook her head to silence me, “I say that as a friend and a mother. I might not have been there all of your life, but you truly are a treasure, my daughter. I will always be there for you” - “Would you ever want to get children?” “That’s an interesting question from a 19-year-old, do you have a little something to confess?” I asked and gave Felix a wink. He looked away quickly, a small smile tugging on his lips. “No, I-” He lost his thoughts to the pouring rain outside instead. The same kind of weather we’ve had for the last couple of days. The smell of coffee and sweets laid heavy in the air. We were at one of the bigger and busier cafés in town and new patrons constantly entered, huffing and shivering from the bad weather as they brushed off their shoes on the carpet at the entrance way before making their way to the cashier. The queue was long, and I felt a bit bad for the new girl that was taking the payments. Her voice stammered slightly when an older man demanded that he should get a lower price since he’d been waiting for so long. I turned away from the scene, a bit agitated just as a person that looked like the manager stormed up to the queue. “I just… I was curious, since-” Felix was stalling, fingers tapping on the mug of hot chocolate in his hands. “Are you calling me old?” I asked with fake annoyance and he smiled before sticking out his tongue. Squinting his eyes at me like a four-year-old, “No. It’s just- just a question” I sighed. Looked away again as I pondered on the question for a few minutes. Chris had talked about children about a week ago and I must say that it was the first time I’d been really thinking about it. I was nearing my mid-20s. A few people that I knew, mostly over social media, had kids already and I knew that the years passed quickly after reaching 25. That’s what I’d been warned about at least. I wanted children. I knew that. Knew that there was no better time than now too. I had a man I trusted. Despite the struggles we’d gone through this week, I still loved him to bits. I had a home. An income. Chris would be finished with his studies in spring next year and pretty much locked in a secure job since he collaborated with a company that had expressed their interest for him to start working fulltime and not just as an apprentice, as soon as he was done with uni. We could literally get me pregnant right now and the child would be born into a secure and safe environment. With two parents that would love them. I tried to imagine it. Me, Chris and a baby. Us walking around the park next summer with a carriage stroller. Us nurturing, feeding and raising a child. Us living as a family for the rest of our lives. It worked, the fantasy of it being reality. Worked until every picture of that perfect future family was changed and it wasn’t Chris that imagined, but instead the best friend that sat in front of me. Felix standing behind me, his hands over mine on the swell of my belly, swaying softly together to indie music in a whole other apartment. Felix that walked through a park with me, that bright smile on his lips as we held around each other’s waist with one arm and pulled the carriage stroller forward with the other. A kid that we raised with his eyes. His curly brown hair. His smile. His freckles. I swallowed hard. Crossed my arms over my chest, almost in a self-hug. Felt how my stomach twisted and turned so hard I almost felt sick. Refused to meet my best friend’s eyes. “I’m sorry. I know that you and Chris have had problems this week. I shouldn’t have said anything” I saw the regret in his eyes. In the way his lips pressed into a thin line. In the way his whole face fell, and he slumped a little in his chair. Couldn’t help but to reach out. Felt how my heart caught fire when I interlaced our fingers. “Someday. I know that for sure” I smiled, and he sighed deeply while looking down at the place where our bodies, and souls, connected. “I’m already jealous of the man that will share that experience with you” He muttered, sounding like he hoped I didn’t hear but could keep it inside of him either and I felt my breath hitch in my throat. Almost hoping that I’d heard wrong because it would hurt less that way. - I was free from work the following day and took the opportunity to do laundry and clean around the house since Chris would be at school the whole day, and then spend some extra hours in the studio. I had headphones in, not even changed out of my sleeping clothes and my damp thighs rubbed together in the way too short soft gym shorts I wore. A tee that I’d stolen from Felix about two years ago shielded my upper body, washed out and accidently in a temperature way too high a few months ago. Just long enough to barely cover my stomach. Sweaty from aggressively vacuum cleaning spots of food and drink in our sofa and the rug underneath, cursing our gang of rowdy friends while dancing along with the music that played loudly in my ears. I was in the middle of cleaning underneath the kitchen table when I felt the floor underneath me rattle as a door closed and turned around towards the hallway with a bright smile, fully expecting Chris to stand there. But froze with surprise when I recognized the person to be someone else entirely. He was screaming at me and I took out my headphones and turned off the vacuum cleaner to be able to hear. “What?” I asked and Felix excessively rolled his eyes with keys in his hand. Stumbled slightly as he hurriedly took off his shoes in the corridor that connected the rooms in the apartment, and I tilted my head in confusion when he rattled the key ring as he walked. “I was 10 seconds from calling the police when I remembered that I had a spare key” He paused a little as he got closer, glancing down with eyebrows raised, as if he first now realised what I was wearing, and my breath hitched when I realized how I must look. With my hair in a messy (“messy” as in messy, not movie, “perfect” messy) with way too revealing clothes and sweat covering me like a thin sheet. Thanking my lucky star that I at least put on deodorant before I pulled out the vacuum cleaner, felt how my face heated up, and looked away when he swallowed hard. Let a few seconds pass but felt him staring still, probably thinking that I looked as ridiculous as I felt and I awkwardly scratched the back of my head while clearing my throat. “Why were you going to call the police?” I asked and he looked up to meet my eyes again, a wrinkle between his brows as he looked confused for a second, wondering what I was talking about. “Oh, I’ve been trying to call you for the past hour and when you didn’t reply I got worried, which only elevated when I knocked on the door-” “and I didn’t answer… because my phone is charging in the bedroom…” I fished out the ancient mp3 player I’d stuck into my bra, “Sorry” I finished, and he nodded again, brows raised, and lips pressed together with a mixture of annoyance and amusement. “So, you tried calling me to tell me…? “I just wanted to grab a coffee, or well, a hot chocolate- whatever you feel like” He seemed nervous, constantly flicking his eyes between mine and my clothes and I wanted to hide, so ashamed that we were still talking with me looking like a complete wreck, “Is that my shirt?” He asked all of a sudden with a tilt of his head and I pursed my lips as my fingers hooked around the hem of it and I pulled, looking down, as if I was surprised to what I was wearing while he glanced at my boobs and the way that I’d just made them even more pronounced with the action. “It is… What are you going to do about it?” I asked with a teasing voice and maybe, just maybe, wanted him to start fighting over it. To try and take it off me and that things would just escalate after that. Maybe, just maybe, he saw the way my eyes clouded over, but mistook the squinting for anger and decided that it wasn’t worth fighting over it. “From the looks of it, I’ve outgrown it. So, you can keep it. I just wished I’d known, I always wondered where it went. “Sorry” I flinched slightly but he just shook his head. Hand twitching slightly as he crossed his arms over his chest, “I… uh- gimme a few minutes. I just need to rinse off” I said, and he just nodded as I brushed past him and into the bathroom.