#Balding Bro Chronicles
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rotaryphoam · 11 months ago
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Balding Bro: Origins
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luciluck2046 · 4 months ago
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Hiii, i wanted to ask
What fandoms are you in?
OH HO HO, HOW MANY???
~You don't even know what you're asking me to confess
I don't have to tell you anything at all
UNLESS~
Okay sooooooooo out of the music lirics. Here they are on categories. If youw ant to see them look under the cut because they are A LOT
Video Games
Undertale
Deltarune
Omori(kinda)
Any Undertale fangame
Stardew Valley
Minecraft
Roblox(i guess?)
Cult of the lamb
Among Us
Pony Town
Cookie Run
Gacha(I DON'T WATCH THE VIDS ANYMORE IT'S JUST EASY TO DESIGN MY OCS ON THERE)
Duck Life(any game)
Sims4
DDLC(Doki Doki Literature Club)
TCOAAL(The Coffin Of Andy And LeyLey)
GTA(we got controllers with cake before GTA6 💀)
Idk if this one counts tho but uhhh DUOLINGO
Shows, Series and Movies
The Owl House
The Amazing World Of Gumball
The Amazing Digital Circus(before the brain rot came)
Harley Quinn(that super cool series on HBO)
Suicide Squad(series? Can I call it series? It has an anime too now, not just two movies...)
My Little Pony(I DIDN'T WATCH A LOT OF IT WHEN I WAS LITTLE DON'T JUDGE ME)
How To Train Your Dragon(kinda)
Hazbin Hotel
Helluva Boss
Shorts Wars (bro that shit goes crazy)
Lucifer(just started it)
SMG4
Idk if this counts but ailaughatmyownjokes(Silvia)
Jelly Bean is bald & Fairy Bread army (if you know, you know)
Steven Universe(I just started it)
Rick and Morty
Vtuber shorts. I don't watch videos but HAVE YOU SEEN FILLIAN IN ACTION???
Edit: Fairly oddparents too
Ducktales
Books(internet comics included)
Warrior Cats
Harry Potter
Percy Jackson
Magnus Chase
Kane Chronicles
Hades x Persephone series by Scarlett St. Clair
Twin Runes(by @akanemnon)
Redeemer's Path(by @ultrabean)
Misc
Dragon Puppet making
Artistic things(except dancing)
And I think those are all! Many, right? XD
(i have way too much free time on my hands)
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mr-double-downer · 2 years ago
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it was funny that after the anime trivia completion because of how I was dressed (shorts, bro tank, aviators on my bald head) this dude asked if I was a character from something.
and it made me realize I could probably pull off Riddick from chronicles of Riddick because when it comes down to it I do look like a discount manlet Vin Diesel
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mostlybats-partiallyrats · 4 years ago
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Been out of commission this week as a result of certain aspects of my biology that I'd rather not possess. So I've mostly been watching YouTube and Vampire movies. So I guess I'll chronicle my thoughts here:
Interview With The Vampire (1994): what started this whole venture. Really decent movie, loved the costumes. Your average melodramatic gothic horror (loved it). Two things I noticed immediately with this movie that remained pretty consistent throughout: INCONSOLABLY HORNY. Seriously I've never seen a movie where every character except a literal child should go to horny jail (also, the horny is very concentrated between a trio of male characters so... Pretty gay, bro). Holy shit. The second is that Louis will always set something on fire. Usually a building. With varying numbers of people inside. It literally happens three times. So....🔥🔥🔥
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[Gif Description: Antonio Banderas as Armand being unnecessarily horny with a lit candle. He runs his hand over the flame and then whinces with pain, pretty much. End ID.]
I think this gif sums up that movie.
The Hunger (1983): didn't even get around to watching this one actually. Only really considered it because of David Bowie and Susan Sarandon (and also some sapphic themes, always nice). Then I just saw that it was too poorly rated by too many people. Maybe I'll watch it at some point for sheer shits and giggles.
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[Gif Description: Catherine Deneuve as Miriam, is smoking a cigarette. She has on red lipstick, a pair of dangling earrings, some black leather gloves, and a pair of statement silver sunglasses. End ID.]
Bram Stoker's Dracula (1992): somehow even hornier than Interview With The Vampire in some parts. Always a fan of blasphemy against Western Christianity, so that was nice to see. Winona Ryder is always a win in my book, love her. And it was nice to see a younger pre-Matrix Keanu Reeves. Anthony Hopkins did a great job as Dr Van Helsing too. I liked it, very dramatic, tragic, horny (duh), and lots of blood👌
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[Gif Description: Sadie Frost as Lucy Westenra after she has been turned into a vampire. Her face is painted white, she is wearing a gaudy wedding dress with a massive round collar, and a wooden cross is seen being held in front of her. She bears her bloodied teeth. End ID.]
Cronos (1993): haven't been able to find this anywhere, but I really wanna watch it, because I like Guillermo Del Toro and I know he has a particular affinity for monsters. So I'm excited to watch this one. As such, there is no gif, I don't wanna spoil it for myself🤐.
What We Do In The Shadows (2014): different from the others because it's a comedy, but I loved it, it was awesome 😊. Jermaine Clement and Taika Waititi did so well in making the whole thing awkwardly hilarious. Very quotable and great for if you want a change of pace with vamp movies. Will always bring a smile to my face I think😁
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[Gif Description: Taika Waititi as Viago, dressed in old 18th Century European clothing, is using a toothbrush to clean the "teeth" (fangs) of the character Peter. Peter's look is clearly influenced by the 1922 film Nosferatu. He is bald with long pointed ears, pale mottled skin, grey irises, and several long yellowed fangs. He's wearing a simple black cloak. End ID.]
Sidenote: seems like the early 90s was for some reason a really good time for vampire movies. Also I've already seen Lost Boys, a while ago. Maybe I'll watch it again soon, who knows. 🤷 I also wanna watch Nosferatu.
✨💀🥀🦇✨
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aion-rsa · 3 years ago
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Midnight Mass: It’s Time to Talk About That Monstrous Twist
https://ift.tt/39I2zkp
This article contains huge spoilers for Midnight Mass. So help me God if you read this without watching the series first…
The version of Midnight Mass that Netflix advertised still would have made for a compelling horror series. 
An isolated, insular island community? Great. A young, charismatic preacher suddenly coming to town to shake things up? Perfect. That preacher proving capable of performing minor miracles? Love it, no notes! 
Of course, as viewers who have watched at least four episodes of the seven-episode series now know, Midnight Mass has one extra supernatural twist in mind that elevates an already interesting story to true mind-blowing status. Critics were understandably asked to keep this aspect of the show a secret before it premiered. So please indulge me as I finally slay these embargo demons and get it off my chest.
Vampires. Vampires! V-A-M-P-I-R-E-S. VAMPIRES! VAMPIRES VAMPIRES VAMPIRES! Literally like Dracula. And Nosferatu. Anne Rice’s Lestat. Stephen King’s ‘Salem’s Lot. Vampires. VAMPIRES, BRO, VAMPIRES.
For creator Mike Flanagan, a filmmaker influenced by all manner of classic horror, bringing the fanged bloodsuckers to life was a long time coming.
“My favorite vampire movie is (Werner) Herzog’s Nosferatu,” Flanagan told Den of Geek and other outlets prior to the premiere of Midnight Mass. “That film is the vampire story as high art. I also adore From Dusk Till Dawn. I read Dracula young enough for it to really burrow in for me. And I read ‘Salem’s Lot early enough to color an enormous amount of work that I’ll do for the rest of my life.”
Midnight Mass’s depiction of the mythological undead beast and how it can neatly fit into Christian dogma is one of the most satisfying horror twists in years. Now that the truth is out, let’s discuss Midnight Mass and how it conflates vampires and biblical angels. 
Mistaking a Vampire for an Angel
The interesting thing about Midnight Mass is that it clearly takes place in a universe where the average person has no knowledge of what a vampire is. Even Sarah Gunning (Annabeth Gish), arguably the most well-read person on Crockett Island, has to do some research into “porphyria cutanea tarda” (a.k.a. the real life “vampire disease”). This is similar to The Walking Dead’s approach to zombies, in which the “z” word and George A. Romero’s name are never spoken. This strategy in Midnight Mass allows for a truly fascinating case of mistaken identity.
While viewers immediately know that the creature Monsignor John Pruitt (Hamish Linklater) encounters is a vampire, he believes it to be an angel. Given how studied Pruitt is in the Bible and Cathloic theology, it’s entirely understandable why he would think a tall, muscular, bald-headed beast with fangs and leathery wings is an angel. As it turns out, the angels of the Old Testament can be truly terrifying. 
Not all angels are soft-featured human-like creatures with fluffy white bird wings. Some, like Seraphim, Cherubim, and Thrones are designed to intimidate God’s enemies. In the New Testament’s Book of Luke, an angel visits Zechariah and immediately asks him to “be not afraid” because the angel can see the poor guy absolutely shaking in his boots upon his arrival. Angels being terrifying is even something of an Internet meme, with users contrasting the phrase “be not afraid” with images of truly monstrous beasts. 
Not only does Pruitt’s vampire have the vague appearance of an angel, it also apparently holds the secrets to eternal life as promised in the Bible. By merely drinking some of the “angel’s” blood, a good Christian can live forever just like God says. Does that blood-drinking sacrament sound familiar? It did to Mike Flanagan.
“In Bible school I used to say ‘if the wine turns into Jesus’s blood literally and we’re drinking it so that we can live forever … that seems like a short leap to vampiric myth.’”
Of course, drinking the angel’s fluids in the case of Midnight Mass also leads to some unwanted side effects like a thirst for blood and extreme sensitivity to sunlight. Thankfully, good ol’ Bev Keane always has a Bible quote ready to go for that. When read through the proper perspective, the Holy Bible may as well be the original vampire story. 
The Rules of Vampirism
“The thing that I love about the vampire as a cinematic tool is how malleable it is,” Flanagan says. “We all agree that there is no canon. There are no rules. In fact, part of the joy is seeing what rules people cherry pick as they approach a vampire story.”
All depictions of vampires are indeed quite different. Vampires can range from the classic Stoker-ian monster to Twilight’s nigh-invulnerable sparkle bois. Midnight Mass’s version of the vampire leans towards the classic, albeit with some tweaks. In terms of appearance, The Angel (as we will be calling Midnight Mass’s O.G. vampire for simplicity’s sake) has a more bestial look like Nosferatu rather than an aristocratic one like Count Dracula or Anne Rice’s creations. 
“We winked at (Nosferatu the Vampyr actor) Klaus Kinski a few times when we designed our guy,” Flanagan says.
Though the Angel resembles Nosferatu in appearance, its vulnerabilities owe more to Rice’s The Vampire Chronicles. Religious iconography does not appear to hurt the Angel nor its thralls. Traditional human weapons like bullets or blades also do no harm (at least not mortally). These vampires are, however, tremendously susceptible to both fire and sunlight. Exposure to the latter for even a few seconds is enough to kill the Angel and his many acolytes. 
Read more
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Why Midnight Mass is Mike Flanagan’s Most Personal Work
By Alec Bojalad
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Like in Rice’s works as well, the path to creating a new vampire is quite simple. Step 1: Drink its blood. Step 2: Die. In Dracula and ‘Salem’s Lot, the method of vampire creation is merely being bit by one, zombie-style. Rice and Flanagan’s approach is quite a bit more intentional and interesting. It also opens the door for perhaps Midnight Mass’s most ingenious storytelling quirk: communion. John Pruitt is able to get nearly the entirety of Crockett Island to become a vampire by spiking the communion wine with his buddy’s blood. Then, all that remains is for them to poison themselves to death, Jonestown-style. 
The mass “resurrection” scene in which the congregation awakes as their new vampire selves also provides some insight to just how hard it is to contain the vampire’s overwhelming hunger. Riley Flynn was able to resist it when he turned because John Pruitt babysat him like a psychedelic mushroom guide. The plan for the rest of the congregation was to have their babysitters as well but that didn’t quite work out. Still, Riley’s dad Ed makes it clear to his wife Annie, that even if it’s hard to resist the call for blood, it’s not impossible. 
“When I saw them at the church, I thought it was something they really couldn’t help. Like something impossible not to do. But it isn’t, Annie,” he says.
Maybe if more vampires were like Ed Flynn, a whole island full of vampires wouldn’t be too bad of a thing in the first place. 
cnx.cmd.push(function() { cnx({ playerId: "106e33c0-3911-473c-b599-b1426db57530", }).render("0270c398a82f44f49c23c16122516796"); });
How to Defeat a Vampire
While every vampire story presents its own unique take on the creature, the answer on how to defeat a vampire is usually the same: by doing it together.
“We poor humans only have so much that we can give,” Flanagan says. “We’re ill-equipped as individuals to make any kind of meaningful stand. The only way evil in the world can be brought down is through collective effort. That’s something Stoker understands inherently. It’s clearly something King understands.”
Alongside the aforementioned Bram Stoker and Stephen King, Flanagan presents a small team of humans at story’s end who will do what it takes to defeat evil, even if it means dying in the process. Erin Greene (Kate Siegel), Dr. Sarah Gunning, Sheriff Hassan (Rahul Kohli), Annie Flynn (Kristin Lehman), Warren Flynn (Igby Rigney), and Leeza Scarborough (Annarah Cymone) are the six residents of Crockett Island brave enough to try to take down the Angel. All but two (Warren and Leeza) die. They do succeed in eliminating the immediate threat on Crockett Island but it’s possible the Angel made it away to suck blood another day, damaged wings and all.
What’s interesting about Midnight Mass’s “final crew” is that six appears to be the magic number when it comes to taking down a vampire. Stoker’s Dracula has six heroes: Jonathan Harker, Mina Harker nèe Murray, Arthur Holmwood (Lord Godalming), John Seward, Quincey Morris, and Abraham Van Helsing (of which, only poor American cowboy Quincey Morris dies). King’s ‘Salem’s Lot also has six: Ben Mears, Matt Burke, Susan Norton, Mark Petrie, Jimmy Cody, and Father Callahan (of which, decidedly more than one of them die). This strange bit of arithmancy is something we asked Flanagan about.
“The number was certainly not intentional,” he says. “Once it was clear that Riley was not going to be carrying the torch to the end it really was about asking ‘who are the characters who seem in the very beginning to be at a disadvantage and how do we empower them in the end?’ This was gonna be played out by Sarah Gunning, Sheriff Hassan, and everyone else who would get to just give a little piece.”
Considering that Erin and company were outnumbered about 117 to six, it was a pretty good showing for Crockett Island’s last humans standing.
All seven episodes of Midnight Mass are available to stream on Netflix now.
The post Midnight Mass: It’s Time to Talk About That Monstrous Twist appeared first on Den of Geek.
from Den of Geek https://ift.tt/3CPaitL
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videogametim · 6 years ago
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My Top 10 Games of 2018
2018 was a solid year for video games. There were a lot of games that I ended up liking a lot more than I thought I would, and a couple of indie surprises as well. I think 2017 was a very hard act to follow and as such I’ve had a tough time deciding the order this time around, but in the end I still feel very good about the 10 games on this list.
10. Return of the Obra Dinn (Lucas Pope)
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What a surprise this turned out to be. I bought Obra Dinn based solely on the fact that it was Lucas Pope’s next game and much like Papers, Please, it’s a very unique type of game. In Obra Dinn you are charged with investigating the mysterious return of a ship thought to be lost at sea, whose crew had all mysteriously perished or disappeared. You walk around looking for dead bodies of the crew, and using your magic compass you are able to view a tableau pinpointing the moment of their death. Using this information it’s your job to fill in the journal and figure out how each and every member of the 60-person crew died and who or what killed them. There’s a lot of guesswork involved since you aren’t given a lot of detailed information, but thanks to the fantastic audio cues it was one of the most satisfying and rewarding games I played all year.
9. Tetris Effect (Monstars Inc./Resonair)
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Tetris Effect is easily the coolest edition of Tetris made to date. In addition to being a wonderful VR experience on the same level of Rez Infinite or Thumper, Tetris Effect features almost everything a good Tetris game ought to have. Plenty of different game modes are included such as classics like Marathon or Sprint to the weirder ones like new Purify or Mystery modes. But the standout is definitely Journey mode. Functioning as a campaign, this mode takes you across almost 30 unique stages each featuring its own incredible dynamic music that progresses as you clear lines, and beautiful visuals that are greatly enhanced in VR. I expect this will be the game I keep coming back to from this year to play every now and again, and will definitely be my go-to Tetris game.
8. HITMAN 2 (IO Interactive)
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A follow-up to 2016′s HITMAN (and my personal #2 game of that year), HITMAN 2 expands upon it in almost every way. The briefcase is back. Blending mechanics have been added for big crowds and bushes. The levels are orders of magnitude larger and while there’s only 5 of them, they’re all of the quality of 2016′s Sapienza level. There are also a couple of new modes too. One of which is a Sniper Assassin level where you are perched in a sniper’s nest overlooking a wedding and given many targets to take out, and the other is a multiplayer versus mode where you race against another player to take out a target faster. 
But perhaps the most pleasantly surprising improvement has been in the quality of writing, specifically for 47′s character. You can tell they spent a lot more time ensuring he has lines for some of the more whacky scenarios he can end up in, especially when he gets the chance to talk directly to his targets. HITMAN 2 is ultimately more of the same, but it’s a lot more and definitely the game worth picking up if you’re a fan of the series or stealth games in general. 
7. Yakuza 6 & Yakuza KIWAMI 2 (SEGA)
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Unlike last year with 0 and KIWAMI, I feel very similarly about the two Yakuza games that came out this year so I thought they should occupy the same spot. The main thing that sets these new releases apart from previous entries is the new Dragon Engine. It’s a pretty big departure in feeling from the previous combat engine, but it allows for a lot more freedom since street battles are no longer constrained to an arena. You can run as far as you like, you can drag enemies into nearby shops and restaurants, and the new ragdoll physics are utterly hilarious. Both games also feature a new side activity (a tower defense style game in Kiwami 2 and a reverse tower defense style game in 6) that ties in with well known members of NJPW. 
As far as story goes, I think both of them are pretty good. Having never played 2 back in the day, it definitely holds up to and even surpasses some of the later games’ stories with one of the best antagonists of the series in Ryuji and an even better partner character in Kaoru. KIWAMI 2 also incorporates the cabaret club minigame from Yakuza 0 with a whole new storyline, and some great new substories. Yakuza 6 on the other hand is a pretty decent finale for Kiryu’s story. It makes some callbacks to previous games (especially 0 and 2) and some fun new characters along with the vibrant new location of Onomichi. It’s sad that Kiryu’s story is over now, but I still have a strong hope for the future of the series.
6. Deltarune (Toby Fox)
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Certainly the biggest surprise of the year was Deltarune. A new project from Undertale’s Toby Fox, Deltarune most notably features a new party system for battles and more detailed graphics. It’s got all the writing and music I’ve come to expect and love from Toby, a new cast of characters, and a promising story. Deltarune isn’t finished yet and it will be a long time before we see its conclusion, but Chapter 1 is an incredible start.
5. God of War (Santa Monica Studio)
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I didn’t expect to like the new God of War as much as I did. I grew up with the series and I wasn’t sure how to feel about this completely new over-the-shoulder direction. My worries were quickly put at ease however, with how much fun Kratos’ new axe was to use and all of the abilities you could unlock throughout the game. Perhaps my favourite part is the map itself; while it is an open-world game, it is the exact right size. It respects your time and you never take long to get somewhere interesting, and your exploration is rewarded adequetly. This design philosophy seems to be lost on a lot of modern open-world developers and its refreshing to see it done right in God of War. As for the story, it goes in a very interesting direction and the dynamic between Kratos and his son Atreus unfolds in some satisfying ways, managing to give Kratos some real character development beyond angry bald man. They are definitely using this one to setup more God of War games, and they have revitalized my excitement for the future of this series for the first time in a decade. 
4. Xenoblade Chronicles 2: Torna - The Golden Country (Monolith Soft)
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The Golden Country takes place 500 years before XC2 and outlines the events leading up to it. There are many familiar faces, and the story expands upon many events Rex and his party learn about in the base game. Much of the game takes place on Torna and its a varied location with lots of different environments and enemy types. The biggest improvement from XC2 is the battle system. It’s a lot more straightforward this time around because there’s no more core crystal system where you have to do gacha pulls to get new random blades. There’s just the 3 party members and their two main character blades which makes for guaranteed combo and chain attack potential throughout the game, whereas before you would have to get lucky and try to optimize for it. Clocking in at about 30 hours, I think one could definitely make the case for playing this expansion either before XC2 to see the story setup, or playing it after for appreciating the character development. You can tell a tremendous amount of love and care went into making this expansion, and being included in the XC2 season pass makes it a tremendous value.
3. Monster Hunter World (Capcom)
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It’s been awhile since I got so obsessed with a specific game that I wanted to do nothing else but play it when I wasn’t at work or asleep but Capcom did it. Having only played 4U previously on the 3DS for about 60 hours, it cannot be overstated how much work they put into making this series more palatable. Whether it’s through streamlining weapon upgrades by showing us the weapon paths, or getting rid of consumable whetstones, or just showing us the direction the monster is in after collecting a couple of tracks, or finally upgrading from god damn PS2 models, or just putting it on a proper console again so I don’t have to get carpal tunnel from the 3DS. The list goes on and on about all the things that made this Monster Hunter the one that got me hooked. They’ve supported the game with a ton of free post-launch content too including new monsters and fun crossover skins. If there is any game to point to and say Capcom has cleaned up their act these last couple of years, this is it.
2. Super Smash Bros. Ultimate (Sora Ltd./Bandai Namco)
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There are a lot of things I could say about Ultimate, but I think the most important thing to remember is that it is an incredible collection of fighting game content. There are a ton of characters, stages (with 3 variants of each!), and almost a thousand songs. Sakurai has gone to even greater lengths to ensure that this game can be enjoyed by players of any inclination. Whether you like to play with stocks or stamina, or if you wanna use all items/no items/whichever items you like, there’s probably a rule setting for you. This is finally the Smash game that has gotten me interested in the competitive side, fighting one on one without items and as such I have an appreciation for it now. New characters like Incineroar, Simon/Richter, and K. Rool are a blast to play, and characters I missed in Smash 4 like Corrin, Ryu, Cloud, and Duck Hunt have been a blast too. The game has really rekindled my enjoyment of the series and I’m trying all sorts of characters I never would’ve before. I would be totally okay if this was the last Super Smash Bros. game, and I look forward to seeing what the future DLC characters end up being. 
1. Valkyria Chronicles 4 (SEGA)
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VC4 is assuredly my favourite game of 2018. I’m a big fan of the fantasy alternate-universe WWII setting established in the first Valkyria Chronicles, and VC4 takes place around the same time. It follows the tale of the Federation Army’s Squad E led by commander Claude Wallace. Nearly every character is likeable in some way and all of them get some meaningful character development; the main characters through the story and the side characters through their own events where they interact with other members of the squad. The english voice actors really do a tremendous job selling these characters and their weird quirks. The gameplay is very similar to the first game with some new features like the Grenadier unit class or the halftrack APC you could use to quickly move multiple troops around the battlefield. If you are a fan of turn-based strategy, alternate history, or just straight up great characters I cannot recommend this game enough. 
That’s all for my 2018 list. There are a few more games that I’d like to acknowledge from the year that didn’t quite make the top 10, but I’ll do that in a seperate post next week. If you’ve read this far, thank you so much for doing so. I’m very excited about the upcoming year in games!                                                   
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martyslittleusedblog · 6 years ago
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Guessing/Predicting Echo Fighters!
01. Mario: Nabbit? (A Bandit could replace him on the Mushroom Kingdom U stage whenever he’s in play.) 02. Donkey Kong: Funky Kong 03. Link: Ravio (I'd say why, but that would be a spoiler.) 05. Yoshi: Birdo (Change out the egg-laying for egg-spitting, for starters.) 06. Kirby: Prince Fluff (Change out the copy ability for that lasso move in Kirby's Epic Yarn, which Fluff was originally going to be the main character of.) 07. Fox: ??? (Peppy Hare and Slippy Toad don't seem likely, and Krystal is an Assist Trophy... Maybe someone from an entire other series?) 08. Pikachu: Raichu (We have Alolan Raichu as a Poke Ball Pokemon, so why not have the more common variety, too?) 09. Luigi: Mr. L? 10. Ness: Ninten (C'mon, he was in the game that started the Earthbound/Mother trilogy; it would make sense for him to be playable, even if as an Echo Fighter!) 11. Captain Falcon: Black Shadow or Ryu Suzaku/Rick Wheeler (Black Shadow plays more like Ganondorf used to; Ryu Suzaku/Rick Wheeler ended up being Captain Falcon's successor in the anime; Blood Falcon would just be an alternate skin for the Captain.) 12. Jigglypuff: ??? (Probably not Igglybuff or Wigglytuff...) 14. Bowser: Dry Bowser, Midbus, or Dark Bowser 15. Ice Climbers: Baby Mario Bros? 16. Sheik: Impa (I considered Tetra, but I think her moveset would be too different from Sheik’s... She’s better off being her own character.) 17. Zelda: Toon Zelda 18. Dr. Mario: Dr. Luigi 19. Pichu: ??? (I thought of it being either Plusle or Minun, but I don't think you can have one without the other.) 20. Falco: ??? 22. Young Link: ??? 23. Ganondorf: Toon Ganondorf, Ganon, or Demise (I can't decide which one would work better, but then again, I don't know if Ganon has ever been around the same height as Ganondorf.) 24. Mewtwo: ??? 26. Mr. Game & Watch: ??? (Might have to use another Nintendo character for that one, maybe...) 27. Meta Knight: Dark Meta Knight or Galacta Knight 29. Zero Suit Samus: Tetra? (Weaponry is more pirate-ish than futuristic.) 30. Wario: ??? 31. Solid Snake: Naked Snake? Liquid Snake? 32. Ike: Black Knight (To fulfill the villain quota for the Fire Emblem characters, though Hector is a good pick, too.) 33-35. Pokemon Trainer (Red or Leaf) with Squirtle, Ivysaur, and Charizard: Pokemon Rival Blue with Bulbasaur, Charmeleon, and Blastoise 36. Diddy Kong: Dixie Kong (Primary change: Utilizing her hair for attacks and being able to hover with ponytail.) 37. Lucas: Claus or Duster (Why Duster? Because the man needs to be SOMEWHERE in Ultimate, dangit! I don't know if he uses PK attacks or not, but if not, he would have to use different attacks instead. Then again, that might be too many changes for an Echo Fighter. I'd settle for him being an Assist Trophy instead...) 38. Sonic: Shadow (Though Tails needs to be SOMEWHERE in the game...) 39. King Dedede: Bonkers? 40. Olimar (and Alph): Louie (Alternate skins for Louie would be Brittany and Charlie.) 41. Lucario: Zoroark or Lycanroc? (I have no idea.) 42. R.O.B: ??? 43. Toon Link: ??? 44. Wolf: Leon or Panther? 45. Villager: ??? (Isabelle was recently revealed to be her own fighter rather than an Echo; it would seem she is to the Villager what Luigi is to Mario and Falco is to Fox.) 46. Mega Man: Roll? (Proto Man, Bass, and the other incarnations of Mega Man are all part of his Final Smash, and Zero is an Assist Trophy.) 47. Wii Fit Trainer: ??? 48. Rosalina and Luma: Captain Syrup? (Does not use a wand, but commands those little Goomba-like enemies from the Wario Land games.) 49. Little Mac: Bald Bull (According to my research, he's the most popular Punch-Out!! character currently. My sources are kind of dated, though, so if I'm wrong, please correct me.) 50. Greninja: ??? 51-53. Mii Fighters: (I don't think they'd have Echo Fighters, unless Nintendo decided to add new classes or something.) 54. Palutena: Medusa or Viridi? (Medusa is basically an evil Palutena, but Viridi seems popular. Hm... Or maybe Hades? More of a villain than Dark Pit or Viridi.) 55. Pac-Man: Ms. Pac-Man 56. Robin: ??? (I'm not knowledgeable on the Fire Emblem series...) 57. Shulk: Malos? (...or the Xenoblade Chronicles.) 58. Bowser Jr. (and Koopalings): Kamek? (Kammy Koopa would replace him on the Mushroom Kingdom U stage whenever he's in play.) 59. Duck Hunt: ??? (All I know is that Banjo and Kazooie would NOT be Echo Fighters of this duo. The only similarities they have is that both pairs have a bird among them that can attack.) 60. Ryu: Ken 61. Cloud: Zach Fair? (I'm not knowledgeable about the Final Fantasy series, I'm afraid. Someone suggested Mr. Fair, who gave Cloud the Buster Sword.) 62. Corrin: Tiki? (That's the only other dragon character in Fire Emblem I know of.) 63. Bayonetta: Jeanne 64. Inkling: Octoling 65. Ridley: ??? (I'm pretty sure Meta Ridley is an alternate skin.) 67. K. Rool: Lord Fredrik? 68. Isabelle: ???
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daleisgreat · 4 years ago
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The Wizard
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Today I am covering a movie I have been itching to write about here for years. It is an admittedly subpar film from 1989, but seeing it then as a six year old videogame kiddo, I absolutely adored it. Yes I am talking about the 1989 Nintendo adver-film, The Wizard (trailer). I have had a nostalgia-driven love/hate/love relationship with The Wizard throughout my life. Absolutely loved it as a kid, when I got around to re-watching it with adult eyes for the first time shortly after its first DVD run in 2006, I realized a lot of it then was hard to watch and thought the film took itself way too seriously. I embedded an old episode of my old podcast I recently un-vaulted at the bottom of this entry where we do a roundtable breakdown of The Wizard right after its first DVD release in 2006. Watching it again in 2020, I kind of came around to digging it again as you will soon read on to see. The Wizard never got a deluxe edition home video treatment until this year. Its DVD release in 2006, and initial 2018 BluRay release saw a basic home video release with no bonus material other than a trailer. After much fan outcry, Universal finally granted access to home video distributor Shout Factory to release a much desired special edition jam packed with extras. It hit BluRay at the beginning of this year, shortly after the film’s 30th anniversary. If you are unfamiliar with Shout Factory, think of them as the equivalent as the Criterion Edition, but for beloved B-movies instead.
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This is a road trip film, where through the magic of Nintendo, a broken family is reunited…..yes I am embellishing, but only ever-so-marginally! After an earlier childhood crisis that is not revealed until late in the movie, nine-year-old Jimmy Woods (Luke Edwards) is left in a quasi-autistic state (his condition is never fully explained). Jimmy consistently runs away from home until his mother decides it is too much and puts him in a permanent childcare facility. Jimmy’s half-brother Corey (Fred Savage) would have none of this treatment to Jimmy and sneaks him out of the facility. Jimmy infamously references ‘California’ throughout, Corey decides to take Jimmy on a road trip to California to see just what Jimmy wants to go over there for. Along the way they meet Hailey (Jenny Lewis), who joins them on the run and helps discover Jimmy’s hidden talents at getting top scores at arcade games. The trio decide to embark to a huge videogame tournament in California they see a flyer for and think that must be what Jimmy is talking about that is awaiting them there. Watching the Wizard now in 2020 compared to the last time I saw it in 2006 what popped out to me was surprisingly the ‘heart’ of the family dilemma the whole film is predicated on. As I stated in my entries here chronicling the seasons of Roseanne, the reason that show is one of my favorite sitcoms is because my family was not too far off from how dysfunctional the Conners were. The Woods family here has their own twisted backstory that gets kind of fleshed out on why the family is split up and struggling to overcome a recent crisis that has had a lasting impact on them. I can relate to that with my various family qualms over the decades, so seeing Corey & Jimmy’s brother, Nick (Christian Slater) and father, Sam (Beau Bridges) go from being on rocky turmoil throughout the film, but managing to put their differences aside to go on the road after them kind of resonated with me a little bit on this viewing.
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Nick and Sam playing catch-up on the road is an entertaining B-plot to The Wizard. The father and son team have a comedic foil in one Mr. Putnam (Will Seltzer), a professional tracker of runaway kids who I would imagine would be a realistic good kind of person, but the film portrays Putnam as a ruthless, slimy scumbag in it solely for the money. It is laughable to see Putnam get the villain stereotype checklist treatment. Balding, slicked back hair? Check! Cowboy-collar-string-tie? Check! Always chomping on gum? Check! Weasel-y voice? Double check! During their father-son road trek, Nick introduces his dad to videogames, and soon enough Sam is just as hooked as Nick in trying to conquer the dastardly original Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles game on NES. Videogames are featured predominantly throughout The Wizard and goes to show how big arcades were in the late 80s to the point where you can find a stray machine or two at any gas station or restaurant. Watching Hailey and Corey train Jimmy to get as much gaming knowledge in time for the videogame tournament in Los Angeles was a riot. The requisite-training montage scene perfectly encapsulates NES-mania at the peak of its powers in 1989. As you can see in the linked video it has the perfect training material for any grade school game player of that era in the form of arcade game practice sessions, Nintendo Power magazines and calling the Nintendo-endorsed game counselor’s hotline for pro tips! Countless games are shown off throughout. One of the most recognizable scenes of the film is when Jimmy meets his antagonist in the form of pro-gamer, Lucas (Jackey Vinson) who makes his unabashed love of the Power Glove the must-have NES accessory of the ’89 Christmas season.
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Eventually Lucas and Jimmy clash at the ‘Videogame Armageddon’ tournament in LA. They are two of the three finalists and for their final challenge the AWESOME over-the-top host (Steven Grives) bestows upon them a brand new, unreleased game in the form of the madly anticipated Super Mario Bros. 3! The three compete for the next three minutes of film in what is essentially an infomercial for SMB3. Nintendo and Universal timed The Wizard to hit theaters several weeks before the release of the game, which only fueled demand and likely played a factor into SMB3 selling more than 17 million copies worldwide. I vividly remember being on edge in my childhood viewing of that contest finale making SMB3 seem like the coolest game ever, and re-watching it 30 years later the scene still gets me wrapped up all over again! Just click or press here to see it for yourself! Jimmy’s family is so proud of him that the whole family vaguely patches things up in a touching moment at a tourist attraction shortly thereafter to end the film on a feel-good note. As positive as I am on the film so far, it is all in a so-bad-its-good, B-movie way. I could rag on the many imperfections of The Wizard with its out of touch dialogue, overuse of New Kids on the Block in the soundtrack, misrepresentation of some of the videogames and some out of date cultural norms, but as you can tell The Wizard is somewhat of a special film for me so I will leave that to you to scour the Internet for those astutely valid points of criticism.
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As I alluded to above, this Shout Factory edition of the film is loaded with extra features. There is 38 minutes of deleted scenes! Highly recommend checking them out, as the deleted scenes mostly consists of early first act backstory setting up brotherly differences with Corey and Nick, and also a whole abandoned sideplot that sees Corey sneak Jimmy out of the childcare facility multiple times to introduce him to the NES and becoming a pro at videogames. Director Todd Holland has a feature commentary track filled with tons of insightful factoids. Some highlights include regretting how unsafe parts of the production were, justifying why a lot of scenes were cut, pointing out a blink-and-miss-it Toby McGuire cameo, fighting to the bitter end to get his feel-good family reuniting ending and how a throwaway joke panning Universal Studios lead to a last minute final re-cut of the film to omit that line due to peeved Universal executives. There are two Q&A panels included totaling an hour and a half. Both feature Luke Edwards along with original writer, David Chisholm and producer, Ken Topolsky. A lot of good anecdotes and memories from everyone involved, but not necessarily required viewing since a decent amount of their responses are touched on in the last of the bonuses. Rounding off the extras are three more behind-the-scenes bonuses tallying up just under an hour. Critical Analysis of The Wizard is a 12 minute look at Jimmy’s childhood trauma and the psychological effects of his condition. How Can I Help You is a six minute interview with a former Nintendo Game Counselor detailing his work experiences. Road to California is the standout making of feature with it being a 40 minute comprehensive look at how The Wizard came to be with interviews with most of the cast and crew. It dissects the casting, selecting the gameplay footage from Nintendo-provided tapes, explaining the ending, making all the cuts down to a 90 minute film, dealing with the critical fallout and the belated public adoration from fans online who grew up with the film and spread the love once it hit DVD. There are a couple heartfelt fan testimonials it included towards the end with some passionate stories from serious fans of the film!
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These last several days have been a ride to say the least while taking in everything this Shout Factory edition had to offer. I knew a part of me enjoyed The Wizard in a guilty pleasure kind of way, but taking it all in again with a 37-year old perspective made the family crisis element of the movie, regardless of how corny it is implemented, somehow make an impact on me and appreciate it in a way I was not expecting. Combine that with it capturing the aura of late-80s NES fever, and seeing all the ubiquitous love from the cast, crew and fans of the movie in the bonus feature interviews and it all adds up to The Wizard going from guilty pleasure to childhood favorite that I did not expect to find myself still a big fan of today.
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If you somehow quench for more Wizard coverage, then check out this episode of my old podcast I recently re-uploaded to my YouTube channel where we reviewed The Wizard right after its first DVD printing way back in 2006.
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Other Random Backlog Movie Blogs 3 12 Angry Men (1957) 12 Rounds 3: Lockdown 21 Jump Street The Accountant Angry Video Game Nerd: The Movie Atari: Game Over The Avengers: Age of Ultron The Avengers: Infinity War Batman: The Dark Knight Rises Batman: The Killing Joke Batman: Mask of the Phantasm Batman V Superman: Dawn of Justice Bounty Hunters Cabin in the Woods Captain America: Civil War Captain America: The First Avenger Captain America: The Winter Soldier Christmas Eve Clash of the Titans (1981) Clint Eastwood 11-pack Special The Condemned 2 Countdown Creed I & II Deck the Halls Detroit Rock City Die Hard Dredd The Eliminators The Equalizer Dirty Work Faster Fast and Furious I-VIII Field of Dreams Fight Club The Fighter For Love of the Game Good Will Hunting Gravity Grunt: The Wrestling Movie Guardians of the Galaxy Guardians of the Galaxy Vol 2 Hell Comes to Frogtown Hercules: Reborn Hitman I Like to Hurt People Indiana Jones 1-4 Ink The Interrogation Interstellar Jay and Silent Bob Reboot Jobs Joy Ride 1-3 Last Action Hero Major League Man of Steel Man on the Moon Man vs Snake Marine 3-6 Merry Friggin Christmas Metallica: Some Kind of Monster Mortal Kombat Mortal Kombat Legends: Scorpions Revenge National Treasure National Treasure: Book of Secrets Not for Resale Pulp Fiction The Replacements Reservoir Dogs Rocky I-VIII Running Films Part 1 Running Films Part 2 San Andreas ScoobyDoo Wrestlemania Mystery The Secret Life of Walter Mitty Shoot em Up Slacker Skyscraper Small Town Santa Steve Jobs Source Code Star Trek I-XIII Sully Take Me Home Tonight TMNT The Tooth Fairy 1 & 2 UHF Veronica Mars Vision Quest The War Wild Wonder Woman The Wrestler (2008) X-Men: Apocalypse X-Men: Days of Future Past
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shortgirlwrites · 5 years ago
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Let me set the stage for you.
It’s March, perhaps April. I’m fourteen years old and in the eighth grade, in Pre-AP English. Sitting next to me is my best pal, Ethan. We’re being thoroughly unproductive and sending each other memes back and forth via email. Surrounding me are the typical cast of characters for a story from my eighth grade year, and I look about the same as I always did in eighth grade–insufferably awkward.
Look, here’s some pictures from my eighth grade yearbook for proof. Eighth grade was the one year I was on a school sports team (cross country!) and also the year I wore pigtails an alarming amount. And yes, in one of these pictures I’m dressed up as Reepicheep from Chronicles of Narnia and yes, I wore that outfit to school. Yeouch.
Aren’t y’all glad that middle school is over?
But I digress.
My English teacher informed us that we would be studying a poem by a guy named T.S. Eliot called The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock to prep for our state tests. Yuck. So glad I’m in college and done with that stuff. A few weeks later, for our exam, we could memorize a poem and perform it for the class. I exempted that exam but went to the exam period anyways (mostly to goof around with my friends) and got to watch a guy in my class attempt to perform the aforementioned (very long) poem after having not memorized it at all.
And thus began my enduring love affair with the poetry of T. S. Eliot. I even performed his poems at speech and debate tournaments in high school. Nerd much?
Born in the far off time of 1888, in the great state of Missouri (the land of my birth, even though I didn’t grow up there!), T.S. Eliot is considered one of the greatest poets of the 20th century. He eventually became a British citizen in 1927 (having moved there in 1914) and yeeted America from him. He also converted to being a member of the Church of England (part of the Anglican communion, as is my church, the Episcopal church–we love being best religion bros!).
Despite the fact that he’s considered one of the greats and was even friends with Ezra Pound (dedicating his poem The Wasteland to him), Eliot didn’t produce a great deal of poetry. Okay, well….relatively, he didn’t produce a ton of poetry. Compared to other great poets. But what he lacked in relative prolificness he made up for in content and style. And boy do I love his style.
The poetry of T.S. Eliot is haunting, complex, ethereal. Take these various excerpts from The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock: 
And indeed there will be time
To wonder, “Do I dare?” and, “Do I dare?”
Time to turn back and descend the stair,
With a bald spot in the middle of my hair —
(They will say: “How his hair is growing thin!”)
My morning coat, my collar mounting firmly to the chin,
My necktie rich and modest, but asserted by a simple pin —
(They will say: “But how his arms and legs are thin!”)
Do I dare
Disturb the universe?
In a minute there is time
For decisions and revisions which a minute will reverse.
*******
And the afternoon, the evening, sleeps so peacefully!
Smoothed by long fingers,
Asleep … tired … or it malingers,
Stretched on the floor, here beside you and me.
Should I, after tea and cakes and ices,
Have the strength to force the moment to its crisis?
But though I have wept and fasted, wept and prayed,
Though I have seen my head (grown slightly bald) brought in upon a platter,
I am no prophet — and here’s no great matter;
I have seen the moment of my greatness flicker,
And I have seen the eternal Footman hold my coat, and snicker,
And in short, I was afraid.
******
No! I am not Prince Hamlet, nor was meant to be;
Am an attendant lord, one that will do
To swell a progress, start a scene or two,
Advise the prince; no doubt, an easy tool,
Deferential, glad to be of use,
Politic, cautious, and meticulous;
Full of high sentence, but a bit obtuse;
At times, indeed, almost ridiculous—
Almost, at times, the Fool.
He speaks often, and prolifically, on the matters of death, life, and everything in between. Every moment, every whisper adds up to something in T.S. Eliot’s poetry. Take this from The Wasteland (my favorite of his works):
Datta: what have we given?
My friend, blood shaking my heart
The awful daring of a moment’s surrender
Which an age of prudence can never retract
By this, and this only, we have existed
Which is not to be found in our obituaries
Or in memories draped by the beneficent spider
Or under seals broken by the lean solicitor
In our empty rooms
DA
Dayadhvam: I have heard the key
Turn in the door once and turn once only
We think of the key, each in his prison
Thinking of the key, each confirms a prison
Only at nightfall, aethereal rumours
Revive for a moment a broken Coriolanus
He begs us to ask: What have we given? And what does it all mean? Or, perhaps, is it is okay if it means nothing? I myself, am in this place, at this time, and he is in his place, at his time, and we are connected across the eras by his words. Although he died 35 years before I was born, his words still ring true to me now.
At the risk of this post becoming too gushy over the nature of T.S. Eliot (combined with the fact that his works will be involved in the super secret project I keep hinting at), I will stop here and leave you all with the first portion of his poem “Ash Wednesday”:
Because I do not hope to turn again Because I do not hope Because I do not hope to turn Desiring this man’s gift and that man’s scope I no longer strive to strive towards such things (Why should the agèd eagle stretch its wings?) Why should I mourn The vanished power of the usual reign?
Because I do not hope to know The infirm glory of the positive hour Because I do not think Because I know I shall not know The one veritable transitory power Because I cannot drink There, where trees flower, and springs flow, for there is nothing again
Because I know that time is always time And place is always and only place And what is actual is actual only for one time And only for one place I rejoice that things are as they are and I renounce the blessèd face And renounce the voice Because I cannot hope to turn again Consequently I rejoice, having to construct something Upon which to rejoice
And pray to God to have mercy upon us And pray that I may forget These matters that with myself I too much discuss Too much explain Because I do not hope to turn again Let these words answer For what is done, not to be done again May the judgement not be too heavy upon us
Because these wings are no longer wings to fly But merely vans to beat the air The air which is now thoroughly small and dry Smaller and dryer than the will Teach us to care and not to care Teach us to sit still.
Pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death Pray for us now and at the hour of our death.
Peace (and tell me who your favorite poet is!),
Edith-Marie, aka Short Girl 🙂
  I love T.S. Eliot and here’s why Let me set the stage for you. It's March, perhaps April. I'm fourteen years old and in the eighth grade, in Pre-AP English.
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