#Bad Zaynee bad!

[wrestlezaynia]

Dude, how did this drunk fic get so suggestive all of a sudden?

[shanie-the-toyaddict]

Hey, I usually don't do follow forevers because I feel like I'm always leaving people out.

But screw it, I'm unmedicated, here goes.

First of all, my beloved @wrestlezaynia. I don't know what or where I would be without you. You wanna talk about Zowens? Without you, there would be no me. Literally. I can't tell you how many times just the thought of you has gotten me through the darkest moments. I legit wouldn't be here now if it wasn't for you, so from the bottom of my heart, thank you and I love you.

Next. @mrwrestlingkevinsteen. My... God, I don't know what you even are at this point. You're just... so much for me. To me. If Zaynee is the Kevin Owens to my Sami Zayn, you are the Kevin STEEN. You just mean the friggin world to me and to think, I was afraid you wouldn't like me. I was afraid to talk to you or approach you and now look at me. I can't shut up around you. I love you forever, I'm giving you so many smooches, I'm just gonna hold you for awhile OK?

@himbos-hotline. In a perfect world, I would have adopted you by now. The way you always tag my posts brings the biggest smile to my face. I simply adore you and I want you to know that, for 2023, I'm wrapping my big squishy arms around you and holding you close and keeping you safe. Please, when you're having bad days, even if I'm not around, remember that I am rooting for you and I love you and that my life would be so much darker without you in it. *hugs*

@baysexuality. My Lexie. You have offered me so much support this year that I don't know what I would do if you hadn't. You know I've been going through ish lately and you don't judge me or berate me and I am so grateful for that. I love you so so so sooooo much and I hope 2023 is just the best year ever for you.

@adampage. I feel like you are the unsung bestie at times. I feel like I don't give you enough attention for how much I love you and I'm sorry for that. Because I do, you know? I do love you, LOTS. You always make me smile with your posts and your gifs and I hope you can have everything you want for 2023 because you deserve it. You're such a wonderful person and I want the best for you always.

@colesterstrudel. I love you. Love you love you love you. You make me squee with joy when I see you on my dash lusting after Michael Cole (justified, tbh), and Sports Laura brings me more joy than you could ever imagine. I love the way you are passionate about things and I hope that someday I can find that same passion for doing the things I want to do, rather than them just living inside my head spinning like a damn rotisserie chicken.

@low-x-battery. I know we don't talk much anymore but I want you to know that when we do talk it means the world to me. You have changed my life, even just recently. I'm doing better since the last time we chatted and I'm pretty sure it's because of you. Your words make me want to be better and take care of myself and I hope in 2023 I can give back even a little bit of the care you have inspired in me. Love you.

@the--blackdahlia. You are... amazing. You are so amazing and you don't even know it. Your fanworks are so inspiring to me. I dream of having the kind of drive you do and I've already told you how much your stuff means to me. I hope that 2023 treats you so much better because you don't deserve to have people being mean to you ever. You're just the bestest, sweetest, most incredible person and I love you forever.

@smashthegiantkiller. My favorite arms dealer. First of all, keep being gorgeous, OMG how are you so gorgeous, yes, good, keep doing that, GOOD! Second, you make me smile whenever I see you on here so if I can continue doing that, then 2023 is gonna be a great year. Never change and hope you have the best upcoming year ever!

@honoraryuce. I'm just starting to get to know you, but I hope that 2023 is our year baybay. I'm gonna give you so many hugs this year and then when new years 2024 comes, I'm smooching you right on the cheek. Actually, screw that, not waiting. *SMOOCH*

@imswitchbabemox. I'm so happy I've gotten to know you better. You're just amazing and one of these days I'm gonna get to binging on your fanfic. Your passion for your works and your stuff is so inspiring I wish I had your creativity and drive. Also, I love you. I feel like I don't tell you that enough, so, yeah. *hugs*

Shoutout to @jamie-55, @bakurapika, @randomnessoffiction, and @nierthesheepdestroyer. How you guys put up with my non-stop wrestling nonsense, I have no idea, but I love you forever for it. I am so grateful for it though and here's hoping for another year where you don't unfollow me.

And, while I'm sure I'm missing so many people, I'll end with the OG.

@aquilalorelei. We've been through a lot. Together and separately. You've had the shittiest 2022 that I think anyone on planet earth could possibly imagine. Somehow, you survived. That makes you so FUCKKING strong. I pray, wish, vibe, hope, whatever that the world is kinder to you this year. Please, universe. I'm begging. For both our sakes.

Anyway, if I have forgotten anyone, I'm so sorry. It's late and I'm sleepy. Please forgive. I really do love all of you.

Here's to a great 2023.

Happy New Year.

[colesterstrudel]

Don't feel bad.

By technical definition, the Zowens reunion slow burn has been going on since January 1st.

Zaynee and I have been surviving on crumbs for 9 months. We only get properly fed once a month. The slow burn has gone on so long that it's now a fully formed CHILD.

The white rabbit thing will probably get resolved at Extreme Rules. I can't imagine they'll take it to Crown Jewel.

Patience young grasshopper.

If nothing else, look at it this way.

I was a Shane Fan first. We were waiting SIX YEARS.

My grandma spent much of my life before she passed trying to teach me patience and it never worked lmaoooo kaskskskslsksk I just wanna see bray wyatt rn immediately

[wrestlezaynia]

Brock covered in blood tho. 👀

[wrestlezaynia]

Oh no, Brock grew his beard longer.

[shanie-the-toyaddict]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ZAYNEE!!!

(Birthday message under cut)

Ok, where do I start.

First of all, I apologize ahead of time for going all sappy on main. I know I posted something like this earlier with a bunch of this same stuff, but dammit it’s your birthday, so we’re doing this ish.

Second, ok, there is no second, we’re just diving right in.

Zaynee, you make my life better.

I have been on this site 10 years as of this May. But for about 3? of those years, I wasn’t here. I went on long term hiatus around 2014. (Yes, I missed Dashcon and it’s fallout. Take away my tumblr card.) I came back in December of 2018 because my Grandmother had just died and I had nobody to talk to about it. I found our little group over time and one year to the day after my Nana Bear died, I found you.

You had a different name back then, but, strangely, it still mirrored my own. Funny how that works out.

The first time I left you a birthday message was the next year. I totally missed your birthday in 2019, boo on me, but really we hadn’t become besties quite yet. But in 2020, I posted my voice for the first time on here, and it was to wish you a happy birthday.

According to my archive, I missed your birthday in 2021. No idea why. I guess I’m just bad friend sometimes.

But it’s 2022 now and, while I’m still technically missing your birthday with this, I hope I can make up for the years I missed with this message.

Since we became mutuals, you have done so much for me. Not just introduced me to my first ever OTP, although that’s a big one and, honestly, if this is what shipping two people does to a person I might never have had a ship before in my life what have they done to me??? Anyway, not the point. Zowens and Steenerico aside, you have become one of the best friends I have ever had. You are my Sister from another Mister and I adore you so stonking much (platonically). BTW, the first time you ever used the word Stonking, it almost brought tears to my eyes. Again, not the point. (Gosh, I’m scatterbrained tonight!)

You are one of the biggest reasons I drag myself out of bed each night/day/afternoon/whatever. On nights like tonight when I have horrible dreams that end with me screaming, it’s so comforting to log on here and see messages from you because it tells me it’s going to be ok. As long as my Zaynee is in the world, it’s going to be ok. Because you are starshine and light and wonderful and as dark as the night might be, you will always be there to illuminate the sky and guide me. Just knowing you are my friend, wherever you may be, makes my life so so SOOOO much better.

And I hope to whatever powers of the universe that are paying attention, that you stay my friend forever.

I know the day may come when I no longer have you in my life. I’m not going to sit here and pretend that tumblr is a viable website that will last forever. Our time is limited. So I’m going to make the most of it, however I can.

As long as you will have me, I will be your friend. Friend, Bestie, Sister, the Kevin to my Sami, however you want it. I do have an actual sister but I’ve never met her. We’re facebook friends but she won’t give me the time of day.

As far as I’m concerned. She doesn’t count. But you do.

You are the sister I always wanted and never got the chance to have. My wonderful GLORIOUS Zaynee.

I hope you had the happiest of birthdays and here’s to many many more.

I love you.

[shanie-the-toyaddict]

I write perfectly innocent and harmless fic for THREE HOURS and then I log onto tumblr, see ONE POST from Zaynee and

BOOM

I'm h-word.

@wrestlezaynia I don't know how to tell you this, but *I* am supposed to be the bad influence here!

[shanie-the-toyaddict]

2, 8 (Besides 2017 Zowens), 11, 19, 34 and 54.

2, 8 (Besides 2017 Zowens), 11, 19, 34 and 54.

2. 3 Things I Love

Action figures (Obviously), Wizard101 and SUSHI! (No really, I could eat sushi every day. It’s my favorite food.)

8. What do I miss right now?

Besides Zowens? Hmm... I’d have to say my College Social Life from 2001-2003. I was psychotic, and was failing all my classes, but God was I having fun. Between Rocky Horror, Goth Night, and Casa Discordia, I was living the high life. And honestly? As much horrible stuff as was happening then too, the good memories greatly overshadow the bad and, honestly, if I didn’t have the social life I did back then I doubt I would have survived awful stuff that was happening.

11. Favorite Place?

I really don’t have one? Last time I had a favorite place was college (see above) when I loved to go to Waffle House at 3 am and just enjoy the atmosphere. Really, there is just something magical about Waffle House at 3am. It’s incredible.

We have no Waffle House here. So 🙁

19. How I feel right now.

Kinda edgy? And nervous. I was a bit late on my medicine so it’s still trying to catch up. I’ll be fine soon but at this moment, I feel like my skin is crawling.

34. Am I Excited for anything

OH YES! Black Friday Season at Ringside Collectibles. I say “Season” because sure, they have the “Black Friday” and “Cyber Monday” sales. But then, every week after that, they up it to “Black Friday 2.0” and “Cyber Monday 2.0”, followed by 3.0 and then finally Christmas.

It’s a wonderful time to buy figures but also a nerve wracking one because it’s a game, see? In most cases, each subsequent sale is bigger BUT, do you buy at 1.0 and guarantee your figure? Or do you risk waiting for 3.0 and possible have the figure sell out. It’s a hell of a trip every year and I think last year I spent about 700 dollars over the entire month.

54. My top 5 blogs on tumblr.

Look, you want me to pick my favorite children now, do you? Nope! Not gonna. I will say that you are #1 though, but I’m sure you already knew that.

THANKS FOR THE ASK! You know I always welcome you in my inbox Zaynee!

[shanie-the-toyaddict]

I love you and I send you a big hug. ♥️🖤

Thanks. I just had yet another slice of toast which I am hoping I can keep down. It isn't looking the best though.

Gross-ish details put under cut

As stated in Zaynee's message, I went back to the hospital at about 6pm this evening because I was throwing up and... other unpleasant things again. When we got to the hospital it took a bit for the doctor to see me (they were packed) but once he did he immediately ordered blood work, cultures, and an IV.

The issue was that even after a full bag of IV I still wasn't ok. So they had to put a second bag in me. It took a bag and a half of IV before my mother said "You're starting to get color back in your face." I can't imagine how I looked before that other than, as she put it, "Not well."

Once the blood work came back they said that the numbers were good enough to send me home (at 11:50 PM!) but they said that I would have to be on a bunch of anti-sick medication starting tomorrow and until it clears up. (Anti-Nausea and Imodium).

Also, the cultures won't come back until sometime next week so we don't know if my sickness is bacterial or viral. The running theory is still "Bad Beef" but we have no idea just how bad that beef was or what it was contaminated with. Until the culture comes back they can't go much further than giving me medication to make me stop going and throwing so much. However, the doctor said that if we can get the fluid loss under control, I shouldn't have to come back in unless there is a huge, life-threatening problem. (Or if the cultures come back alarming).

However, this means I'm pretty much on a straight diet of water, crackers, toast, and gatorade for the foreseeable future.

It's weird, I had no less than three different people tell me in there "Well at least you still have your sense of humor..."

Listen here, people. I've been at this for... well we're starting day 4 now. My sense of humor is ALL I have left!

On a related note: The ER room had a TV and they were playing a Schitts Creek Pride Marathon. Prior to tonight I'd never seen a single episode. Now I feel a burning need to binge the entire series...

... although, my mother was in the room with me and asked me after the first episode: "Why is the one gay guy so effeminate while the other is so masculine? Is there some sort of meaning behind that?"

Me: *wide eyed and choking on my own saliva* Me: Oh... uh... you know how it is... Mom: No, how? Me: *gasping* ... Stereotypes

[shanie-the-toyaddict]

So, I might be questioning my sexuality...

rant behind cut

So, it's 2:20 am and I'm late on my meds. You know what that means... honesty hour.

Anyway, re: tonight's discussion with Zaynee about Kevin Owens. It started when I was with my mother who laughed at me when I said I found Kevin hot. She said I was nuts and had no idea why I would find someone who looked like him sexually attractive.

I didn't reply out loud, but my first thought in response was "Kevin could look like a yeti and I would still find him sexy..."

And when I tell you it was like a sack of gd bricks hitting me in the head, OMG.

My brain immediately started racing its way through the people I am sexually attracted to and have been sexually attracted to and, one after another, I realized that a good many of them were not conventionally attractive. On top of that, when I thought of the people I have dated, I couldn't think of a single "Looker" in the lot. Yet, over time, I grew to find all of them very sexy... an opinion which changed in the case of bad breakups.

Person after person on my list I went through and in almost every single case (with a couple exceptions) I only found the individual sexually appealing after they had impacted my life on an emotional level. I didn't necessarily have to know the person IRL, but in regards to the people that I have found most sexually appealing over the years, it has been because I fell for their personalities first.

And now I'm left wondering if there isn't a little bit of Demi in me.

I mean, I'm not about to claim the term. Not yet. I don't think you can be demisexual when you are attracted to celebs, even if they have had a deep impact on your real life. But, then again...

OK, this is going to sound really stonking weird, and I'm just throwing shit out there at this point, but I almost wonder if my dreams could be fucking with this? I mean, I've never met any of these people in my real life, no. But I'm cursed with a brain that memorizes my dreams as well as giving them continuity and interconnectedness. The Eleventh Doctor is just a character but, in the continuity of my dreams, we've been dating for over a decade. I doubt I will ever get to meet Shane IRL but, night after night in my dreams, we're best friends. Even with Sami and Kevin, I always found their relationship appealing and yes, OTP and all, but I never really found either of them overtly sexy until I started seeing them on a regular basis in my dreams.

What the fuck does it all mean?!?!?

What does it mean when you are attracted to personalities alone, but it extends to fictional characters???

What does it mean when people you were once very much sexually attracted to become ugly once your bond with them breaks?

WHAT THE HELL DOES ALL THIS MEAN!??!

I don't know. I need sleep and my meds are starting to kick in so I'm going to end this. This is a topic I will need to further investigate. If any of you have thoughts on this, drop me a line. But please, be kind. I have no idea what the hell I'm talking about here and I'm trying to figure this shit out as I go. If you read all this? Thank you. And I'm Sorry.

[shanie-the-toyaddict]

I hope the moving process is going smoothly and I miss conversing with you. Keep in touch, when you can.

The move has gone, in general, as smoothly as broken glass. I am so damn tired.

But, with less than 6 hours to go until official move time, I can't help but look around at the remains of this place and think about how good this apartment was to me. I've lived here 11 years... ELEVEN YEARS! That's over a decade! I've spent over a quarter of my lifetime in this place, and I'm honestly sad to see it go.

I always used to call this place the black pit of despair, but now I'm a bit scared to leave. The new place is smaller than this one and, while I'll have less stuff to put in it, I'm not sure if I'm going to like it or not. Sure, being on the first floor will be a literal life saver, I simply cannot do the steps any longer with my arthritic knees and bad back. On the first floor, I will be more independent because I won't rely on others to help me get things up and down my stairs every day. I can just go get groceries and bring them right in without assistance. That's going to be a Godsend. But the unknown is always a bit scary and I don't know how I'm going to feel when I sit at this computer chair in the new place and don't see this

Almost all of that is going away - the TV, the Entertainment Center, the Chair and Blanket - it's all going to be gone. And the figure stand will be different as (if my calculations are correct) I will soon have TWO of them, if not THREE. Hopefully three, but that's getting a bit cramped if I put three in there. We will see. Right now, my apartment looks like THIS:

It's a bit depressing, really. AND, due to the utter bullshit that has surrounded this move, it's going to be at least JUNE before I can fully unpack. (Don't get me started, I'm really pissed at my old landlord right now.) But I've already started outfitting the new place, and I got a chance to go in and take photos yesterday (got the keys at around 3PM Yesterday) so now it's just a matter of waiting for the moving company to get here and get everything moved. Anyway, thank you to you Zaynee and everyone else who has had patience with me in this hellacious time. It's been a real trip, but it's time to say goodbye to Casa Del Shanie.

ON TO CASA DEL SHANIE MK.II !

[shanie-the-toyaddict]

Can we just agree that Kevin got even more attractive with age?

You know, I'm sitting here with my darling mother and I showed her that Gifset. Just now. Like 4 minutes ago.

Her response was "oh he didn't look bad back then!"

Me: He looks so much better now.

Mom: You would think that.

Me: Zaynee agrees with me!

Mom: You and your odd duck friends. You're all nuts.

So there you have it. According to my mom we're all nuts for finding Kevin so hot.

Honestly?

If finding KO sexy makes me crazy I don't want to be sane.

[shanie-the-toyaddict]

I was totally kidding btw, I love your blog! If anything, I'm the one who's the bad influence. I mean, I WAS the one who tagged you in that Steen biting Generico's d*ck post, after all! 🤭

*facepalm* Stupid ND brain. I was wondering if you were joking. I literally can't tell most of the time. Glad you love my blog. Yours is better than mine though. At least you stick on topic, mine's a mess. It's like someone shoved Zowens, Shane O Mac, Xena, M*A*S*H, Doctor Who, Star Trek, and Action Figures in a blender, made a smoothie out of them, and dumped here. I feel so bad for people who followed me for one topic and has to deal with the rest. Your blog is much better.

Oh, and no, I'm still not over the d*ck bite. D*CK BITE, ZAYNEE, FFS...

[shanie-the-toyaddict]

FYI: I totally thought of you when I posted that.

Seriously, I need to go back and binge watch that entire feud. Just, like, total consumption of mass quantities of Zowens vs Shane because HOMG I need it in my life. I wish I had been here, Zaynee. I wish I had been on tumblr and could have been there with you as it happened. I wish I had cable in 2018 and could have WATCHED IT FN LIVE. But 2018 was a really bad year for me in general, somewhere around February of that year I hit rock bottom and it wasn’t until June that I slowly started climbing out.

And, sadly, when you have as little money as I do a month, and you still want to sustain a healthy figure habit, SOMETHING has to give and, turns out, it’s the 300 dollar Comcast bill. I traded watching the WWE live for the opportunity to own little plastic versions of the participants. Still not sure if I made the right choice, but the internet is right there and tumblr GIFs the crap out of everything anyway. I can still watch the shows, just not live. But I do have access to the shows and yeah, one of these days I’m gonna sit down and BINGE.

[shanie-the-toyaddict]

Zaynee's response just reminded me...

Do not, under any circumstances, drink The Rock's "Zoa" energy drink.

It tastes great and has a reasonable amount of punch to it without resorting to a ton of chemicals.

But my WORD.

I have never had any energy beverage product give me a crash like THAT before in my life. You all know I have huge caffeine tolerance and drink energy drinks on a regular basis. I saw Zoa in the store and bought one to try.

About 5 hours to the minute after drinking it I almost had a car accident because my energy level TANKED while I was out running errands. One second I'm alert, the next I can't keep my eyes open. I came home and, despite having only woken up from a long sleep 8 hours earlier, immediately fell asleep for another 6 hours.

It was INTENSE and downright SCARY how hard that crash hit.

Just... don't go near that shit. It BAD.