#Backwoods Surgery & Medicine

[impale-me-radio-daddy]

Could you do a Lookalike reader getting his hooves or ears brushed / cleaned by Alastor in a similar vein to the antler one? Maybe a standalone mini series of 'Parts I wanted to include in the main series but couldn't find space for it.'

I would be so up for that.

Hey man, thanks for the ask! I think I went a bit off-topic here, but I still think it's hot so I'm gonna post it. I've put a line for the more squeamish readers to stop at. Caveat emptor and all that.

Pairing: Alastor X reader

Wordcount: 2.2k

Warnings: they/them pronouns, reader is a hermaphrodite, Foot stuff, Hoof stuff, scent glands, DEER THINGS, slight sexual content, Alastor being fucking weird

You didn’t know what was wrong with you at first. You’d held a variety of jobs during your mortal life, but vet wasn’t one of them. What you knew about medicine you knew from backwoods surgery, and what you knew about deer physiology was limited to the things that made their meat unsafe for consumption, the telltale lesions and growths on a carcass that meant it got burned or buried rather than butchered. This wasn’t one of those things.

There was a hard lump on the front of your leg, above where the keratin of your two standing nails ended and below the level of your dewclaws, close to the webbing of skin where your two toes joined. On a human this would have been the shin, but for you it felt more like your tarsal.

It had been small at first, and you had ignored it. Then it had grown larger, painful as it had rubbed against the tongue of your boot. Today you had limped your way through your shift at the hotel, your smile more of a grimace than anything that could genuinely be describes as cheerful, and retreated to the room you shared with Alastor as soon as your contract no longer compelled you to work.

Now you lay in the four-footed bathtub in Alastor’s ensuite bathroom, examining your hoof more thoroughly. Was this an abscess? Did you need to lance it? Your skin graded to a dark grey towards your red nails, so it was difficult to gauge the lump’s condition from color as it would be on a paler part of you. You were pushing at the lump with your fingers, feeling the heat of inflamed flesh when Alastor materialized from the shadows at the bathroom door, his eyes narrowed with suspicion.

“What are you doing here?”

You hadn’t expected him to return to the room for hours, and even then, he generally gave you privacy when you were cleaning yourself. Fear shot through you like a cold wave in your stomach, the feeling of being caught, and you fought the reflex to hide your leg from Alastor. Your career as a serial killer would have been short-lived if you weren’t able to hide guilt, after all. “Do you mind?” you said, broadcasting annoyance.

Alastor looked unimpressed, taking a step closer. “I asked you a question,” he said.

“I would think it’s fairly apparent, but right now I was thinking of cutting my nails,” you lied, smoothly. “What are you doing here?”

“Why, looking for you,” said Alastor, his gaze settling on the red tips of your hooves. “I was about to cook dinner for everyone, and I could do with a sous chef who doesn’t try to boil themselves every time I set a pot of water on the heat or drink all the wine before it goes in the sauce.” He moved closer, arms behind his back. “Though I suppose those are getting rather long,” he said, eyes still on your standing nails, the two red points on the end of each of your hooves. “Let me help you with that.”

“No, I couldn’t put you out,” you raised a hand in protest, but Alastor was already in the space with you, bending to fetch a pedicure kit full of small knives, curved clippers and different grades of files from the cupboard that stood next to the basin.

“Nonsense, my dear, pure nonsense.” Alastor took a seat on the painted metal stool that lived next to the tub and looked down at you, teeth gleaming. “I hope you don’t mean to say I’m not up to the task.”

“Of course not,” you frowned, and Alastor clicked his tongue in disapproval as he took your good leg in his hand.

Disapproval at your facial expression did nothing to stop Alastor’s roving hands, however, the hand that was holding your leg stroking down the arch of your foot to the pads beneath as he fetched a pair of clippers from the box at his feet. The touch was pleasant, and deliberate, and the clippers resembled a pair of secateurs more than anything else, the sort that could easily remove a thumb if applied correctly.

“If you cut to here-” Alastor took your hand, pulling it to the pad of your hoof, where the flesh was attached to the backside of the nail, and traced a line, dragging your finger alongside his. “-the hoof will be too short, and you’ll injure yourself walking-” You listened carefully as Alastor talked, moving your fingers over your hoof so that you would know his instructions by touch. It would have been a relaxing, bonding activity, if it weren’t for the aching lump on your leg, and your growing anxiety at it being discovered. Alastor’s hands were gentle on the pads beneath your hooves, holding your leg perfectly steady as he made each cut.

He moved to your other leg, and you were sure he would notice the lump, but he said nothing, either ignorant or letting you stew in your own embarrassment as you lay in the warm bathwater, his skilled fingers squeezing the arch of your hoof, thumb brushing against your dewclaws as he repeated the process, leaving you enough length in your nail that you would be able to walk comfortably. Sweeping the red slivers of your hooves aside, Alastor took a pair of files from the box, one coarse, one fine, and you felt the vibrations through the nail and through the bones of your leg as he filed down the rough edges. He did it slowly, watching your face as he drew the file back and forth with a gradual movement, the sensation something like a shiver as the metal abraded the surface. When he was done, he ran a thumb over each edge, feeling for imperfections.

Alastor brushed away the fine pink dust with his hand and smiled at his handiwork. “There. That’s better, don’t you agree?”

You nodded, something like relief flooding through you when Alastor hadn’t addressed the problem. You were free to deal with it. Privately.

[nb: if you just wanted hoof clipping, stop reading here]

“And it’s high time we did something about that,” said Alastor, gaze sliding over your bad leg, and your sense of relief shattered. “After all, you didn’t really think there was any part of yourself that you could keep a secret from me, did you?” Alastor’s smile turned cruel, his finger tracing a gentle line up between the two toes of your cloven hoof to the lump, even the light pressure he applied excruciating, and you held your breath to not cry out. “You were limping, darling,” he continued, voice chiding. “I was worried.”

You blinked away tears of pain, studying Alastor’s expression. Really, you’d been embarrassed more than anything- the horror that the strange lump might be due to a failure of basic hygiene on your part, but the way that Alastor examined it without surprise told you that it was an issue he was at least familiar with. Maybe something he’d dealt with on his own body, in his early days in Hell.

“You know what it is?” you asked.

Alastor hummed, his fingers trailing down the freshly pedicured red keratin of your nails and round to the soft pads of flesh that sat behind them, pressing and probing. Oh, that felt nice. “You’ve field dressed a deer before,” he said, chiding. “You really should know this yourself.”

You sank a little deeper into the bath, pouting. “I was a hunter, not a veterinarian. I cut the hooves off before skinning. Dried them sometimes.”

“And I thought you were a curious person.” Alastor smiled to himself, seeming to enjoy having such an advantage over you. “But I suppose I should educate you.” His fingers ceased their massage of your spongy underfoot, and he parted your toes, his touch on the web of skin where the two of them joined. “You have a scent gland here,” he said, pressing his finger against a narrow vertical slit on your dark skin, less than an inch in length. Like the lump above it, it was tender. “It’s blocked. You should have come to me sooner.”

“I’m sorry.” You felt your ears drop, your leg relaxing a little in Alastor’s grip,

“That is quite the hangdog look you have.” Alastor’s smile grew thin, and he reached over to cup your cheek. “Fear not, I know a remedy.” His fingers lingered, tracing the grim line of your mouth. “It will be painful though, you think you can grin and bear it?”

Alastor always wanted a smile from you, but especially in difficult situations. You weren’t sure if it was sadism, a test, or some twisted beneficence on his part. “Of course,” you said.

“I will hold you to that, dearest,” said Alastor, raising your hoof to his lips. It was all you could do not to gasp when he ran his tongue between your two standing toes, laving the pad of each, a pleasurable but alien sensation. It made it easy to smile for him, and his eyes met yours, the corners creasing with approval. His hand cupped the back of your leg, the part that your brain still fuzzily equated to the arch of your foot, long fingers stroking the lines of the tendons. You had been intimate with him enough times that there was no terror for you in his teeth, only the disconcerting sensation of sharpness as he pressed his mouth to your spread toes, his lips a seal around your scent gland, and sucked.

To describe the sensation as pain was technically correct, but it would be like describing standing within a meter of a working jet engine as loud, or the sea as wet. It was a nerve pain, a primal sensation of wrongness. Pain conducted through the bones of your leg to your stomach and your spine, making you queasy and tearful all at once. But you had promised you would smile through this, so you fought for conscious control of your face, forcing your breathing into a slow, steady rhythm, pushing the tension that had collected in your shoulders down as you lay back in the bath, the corners of your mouth up. You spread the fingers of your hands over the lip of the bathtub, palms outward, arms trembling, and Alastor clasped one of your hands in his, squeezing.

Tears rolled hot down your face as Alastor continued, the sensation unrelenting, the only sound in the room your breathing and the low frequency hum from the lights above you. You were still smiling when Alastor’s thumb hooked around your leg, pressing into the cyst above your scent gland. More pain. A whimper in your throat that you could no longer suppress, the curve of your mouth a forced one. Alastor squeezed your hand tighter as he pushed, or perhaps you were squeezing his, and you felt movement in the gland, the inflamed tissue shifting as the blockage was pushed out. You sobbed once and it was gone, replaced by the sensation of pressure being released, Alastor’s tongue moving between your toes.

Alastor raised his mouth from your hoof, his eyes half-lidded and sultry. “You’re doing so well, darling,” he said, sweetly, and all of a sudden it was easy to smile again, his hand no longer in yours as he used both hands to handle and inspect your hoof. “Nearly done now.”

You peered at your hoof, the toes still splayed as Alastor massaged the cyst with his thumb. Your scent gland wept, oily yellow fluid spilling from it. It stank, an earthy, musky smell filling the room. Alastor could smell it- anything with a nose would be able to, and you felt heat rise to your cheeks as Alastor kept your leg firmly in hand. He had probably tasted it, too.

“Guess I should rinse that off,” you said, your smile turning wry as you wrinkled your nose, trying to hide the mix of horror and shame that you felt.

“Absolutely not,” said Alastor firmly, lowering his head to your hoof and lapping at the mess with his tongue, his breath hot between your toes. Fuck. Your stomach tightened at the sight of it, the noise of his tongue almost obscene in the quiet of the bathroom. It was disgusting and erotic all at once, Alastor’s eyes fixing yours with a fervid intensity as he breathed in your scent, and you found yourself hard, the throbbing pain that you’d felt moments before receding to arousal like a curtain revealing a stage.

If Alastor noticed your state, he chose not to acknowledge it, instead teasing the last of your scent from your gland with his mouth and his thumb and planting a soft kiss over the abused tissue; one that was painful by most people’s definitions of pain, but from him it was almost romantic, his lips the barest pressure. You knew better than to raise the matter- that would make him tease you, at best, leave you aching and unfulfilled. What Alastor gave was on his own terms.

“Incomparable, as ever,” Alastor murmured, as if what he had eaten had been drizzled across a plate in a Michelin starred restaurant and not licked fresh from between your toes. “You will come to me for these things in future, hm?”

“Is that a request?” you asked, a rough edge to your voice.

“Given your reaction, I don’t think it’s too tall an order, do you?” Alastor flashed his teeth, flirtatious and sinister all at once.

[drunklander]

Drunj!Der Yells About Outlander

Thoughts on Ep. 502

Watched this episode after winning Wynonna Earp trivia (fuck yeah, The Shit Tickets!) at a bar, put on by a queer af podcast, followed by going to see a queer af movie, and was all ready to get my Beauchamp fix... And it was like oh here’s a taste and a hint that we’re gonna end up in a story line similar to what we’ve already done multiple times, but now on to the menfolk.

For real though, this episode was like an OL greatest hits clip show. It had all the stuff we’ve seen before. A time traveler who wants to go home? Check. Rape PTSD? Check. A man being a dad to a kid who isn’t/might not be his? Check. That same man being the absolute worst? Check. Claire being reckless with future medicine? Check. Townsfolk questioning Claire’s medical knowledge in favor of the local Man of Importance? Check. Jamie trying to be on both sides at once? Check. A villain who seemed to have died the previous season and should have fucking stayed dead? Check.

We’ve literally seen all of this stuff before.

For a show that spent the first part of season two claiming to be a political drama and then last season claiming that they “weren’t political” I see we’re back to just leaning hard into politics that have direct parallels today.

No fucks left to give about the system Murtz is kind of my favorite Murtz. Like this dude spent his whole life living by a code and an oath and was fucked over by the system so many fucking times that he’s ready to just burn it all down. Curious to see how they walk the domestic terrorist vs. freedom fighter line with him for the rest of the season.

Got all excited about the bread title card because yay medicinal mold, but of course, the lead character was relegated to the B story.

Old timey medicine baffles me. Like the fact that bleeding someone was like a catchall remedy boggles the mind.

I feel rull bad for Mrs. Whoeverthefuck though. She tried.

Also, shit like this makes me be like, yo Claire, you sure you wanna stay here? Jamie’s really not all that and a bag of chips. But you do you, boo.

Speaking of Jamie, his hair looks really good. A thousand fruit baskets to the new wig person.

Lulz at Knox thinking the Gathering was about being loyal to king and country. Dummy.

Srsly though, Murtz Valmurtz is really getting under their skin. Is he like the *only* Regulator leader?

The convo between Knox and Jamie is literally as relevant today as it is in the 1770s. But yeah, the show IsN’t PoLiTiCaL.

The fact that fuckers think those at the bottom should be happy with their lot because “lol it could be worse” need to be punched in the face and taken out of power. Stat.

Also any time someone in power talks about civility as a reason not to rise up against injustice, I want to punch them. Because they deserve it.

I want to punch a lot of things.

This whole episode is very Les Mis, tbh.

Literalol at Claire covering dead guy’s face and not his body cavity before Bree comes in.

Aw Bree, why you gotta be a buzzkill? We were cheated of badass Doctor!Claire in S3. Let us have this.

Also, yeah, Claire, Bree’s fucking right. Which you’d think you’d know by now what with alL THE FUCKING TIMES YOU’VE BEEN CALLED A WITCH. AND NOW YOU’RE UPPING YOUR GAME TO LIKE NECROMANCY?!

Also the more she says no one will find out the more annoying it is because *clearly* someone *is* gonna find out and we’re gonna be back on the “she’s a witch!” “I’m not a witch!” “you literally have a dead guy in your closet!” merry-go-round again.

Today in most on-the-nose shots ever: How convenient that Marsali just happens to be doing some butchering right there, right then.

Petition for the show to go full Shondaland and just turn into a backwoods medical drama with Claire and Marsali, and all the others (cough the men cough) can fuck on off.

Tarring and feathering is like the old timey version of #AlwaysPunchAFascist but dialed to 11.

Oh the baggage behind Jamie saying redcoat man will someday wear his scars with honor that none of these fuckers know about...

Ok so clearly the English know that Claire’s a doctor so whenever shit hits the witchy dead dude fan, can we please have a quick resolution and not that dumb af “Claire goes to jail and of course her cellmate is a lesbian because Diana sucks at writing queer characters” nonsense?

Man Jamie is *not* subtle with this convo at the jail. Like Knox is right there and he’s just like hey buddies, I have people and we’re Scottish and y’know how we feel about protecting people vs. obeying the English.

I AM SPARTACUS FITZGIBBONS!

Aaand, naturally, the fuckwit preaching civility is the one to kill a man in cold blood. Rise up, motherfuckers. Rise up.

THANK FUCK ROGER IS A TERRIBLE SHOT BECAUSE IF THAT SQUIRREL DIED I WOULD LEGIT QUIT THE SHOW. RUN AWAY AND BE FREEEEEE YOU PRECIOUS LIL WILDERNESS FLOOFER!

Roger is, and I cannot stress this enough, the fucking worst.

He’s like look how shitty I am at being a soldier but then bitches about having to try to learn. And then he bitches about how dumb it is to shoot at squirrels as if being able to hit a squirrel wouldn’t make hitting a much larger thing, like a man who is shooting back at you, that much easier. And also, how the fuck does he think they get meat to eat? Shooting it, you twatwaffle.

And he’s like so fucking butthurt about being left behind. Like no shit, asshat. You’re bad at being in the past and have made no real effort and you whine a lot and are generally the worst. Of *course* you were left behind. Stop being emo about it and maybe actually try.

“He doesn’t respect me, Bree.” Yeah, no shit. Because you’ve done LITERALLY NOTHING to earn his respect. WHY ARE YOU SO TERRIBLE IT’S LIKE THEY’RE INTENTIONALLY TRYING TO MAKE HIM SUCK.

He also is like butthurt that his wife is a better shot than him when she gets the turkey he misses. How the fuck are we supposed to ship this. Ugh.

#BreeDeservesBetter

Oh Bree, sweetie, Jem won’t get hit by a car, but there are like eleventy million ways to die in the past. Just stick with the “you want to stay with your family” stuff.

Roger clearly doesn’t want to stay and is gonna pull a Fred and make Bree feel bad about wanting to all season, isn’t he. Fahkin’ doucherocket.

“I want to go but I’ll stay for you and look how magnanimous I am as I whine about it and make no effort to acclimate to the time.” Take your martyr card and shove it, Rog.

Shorter Jamie Fraser: “If you stand for nothing, Knox, what’ll you fall for?”

I’m already over Roger singing all the time tbh. Mostly because it reminds me that soon he won’t be able to do that anymore and we’re gonna be subjected to like half a season of him being more insufferable than he already is.

Wait, was Joan already born last episode? Or was there another time jump? Is Marsali preggers with baby #3? I lost track.

I love this scene between Claire and Marsali with my whole heart. Marsali especially.

CAN WE PLEASE JUST HAVE A WHOLE SHOW OF THESE TWO BEING ALL BADASS AND DOCTORY TOGETHER!?

Although, quick question, how fucking long is Claire planning to keep that un-embalmed body lying around in an un-refrigerated surgery/root cellar? Just curious...

Because you know someone’s gonna find it eventually and that’s gonna be a whole to do and I really need to stop being preemptively annoyed at plot lines that haven’t actually happened yet.

And with all this talk of plowshares and swords, I really am going to be singing Les Mis for days...

How long have these biddies been living on the Ridge? The fucking Leoch folks spent like a minute with Claire before they were like yep, she knows what’s up. These folks have apparently been here for months and are like loool, pass. They live in the fucking woods. You’d think they’d be more open to Claire’s brand of medicine.

Omg are they like the accidental antivaxxers of the Ridge?

#VaccinateYourFuckingKids

I mean, Bree, I think there’s some difference between Claire pretending to be a dude doc and telling folks to wash their hands and Otter Tooth.

Season 2 Claire and Otter Tooth on the other hand...

Ok so Jamie needs more men so that means next week is AHS: Beardsley Farm and then maybe (hopefully) instead of being like lol jk you can all go home, it actually goes right into the battle thing. Still not sure if they’re gonna do Roger getting hanged as the mid-season big thingy and then do the Bonnet nonsense in the back half or keep trying to do both of those at once.

Hey, Roger, pro-tip, next time you see Morag MacKenzie, maybe don’t fuCKING MAKE OUT WITH HER YOU FUCKING DUMBASS.

Claire’s totally right about how they should go back. Honestly, they should. But instead of talking with her like Claire is now with Roger, he’s just being all moody about how he’s bad at the past and wants to go back. You’re shooting yourself in the foot, broski.

Oh hey Husband the Quaker. And is that a fellow Quaker named Hunter with him? Are we gonna get Denny and Rachel this season?! Please and thank you that’d be great, I love them.

Murtz talking to his squad is full on Enjolras being like don’t worry fam, Marius will stand and fight with us. His place is there, he’ll fight with you.

The two very different but very similar ways Murtz and Jamie approach being Laird of their squads is fun to explore.

Bree lecturing Claire about changing the future by saving a few backwater hicks like Claire didn’t spend years trying to fucking change all of Scottish history is a bit rich. Like writers, we get it, you’re trying to be like oh snap, wait for the consequences of this bread!science! But like come the fuck on. We sat through all of season two.

“You’re a good dad, you know that?” Oh man, I’m getting that déjà vu about a shitty man getting kudos for being a good dad to a kid as if that negates all of his shittiness.

Oh hey, Bonnet’s back. Clearly we couldn’t have just let him die last season. Gotta drag shit on for longer than it has to. This is the [Outlander] Way.

If they were gonna keep him around as a villain, they shouldn’t have (in addition to all the other reasons) included him raping Bree. Jamie, Murtagh and Bonnet all making choices within and outside of the law to various degrees in order to make their living in the Colonies would be a really interesting contrast. But nope, gotta just go all in. BeCaUsE tHe BoOk.

Also I hate with the passion of a thousand fiery suns the Jemmy’s paternity stuff. Le sigh.

Remember in season one when the show was about Claire and she was in episodes for longer than 10 minutes?

I miss Claire.

[twopoppies]

Hiyyaaa!! Do you know any good fics where one of them is a doctor? Thank you lovely xxxxxx

Hi anon! As a matter of fact, I do! Hope these work for you!

decorated emergency by harrapunzel (NR, 10K)

So what if they kissed once. It was the end of a shift that had seemed to drag on for twelve days instead of twelve hours. Their doctor was slow and felt the need to transfer every single patient, putting more work on every member of staff. Harry was stressed. Louis was the one who crowded him up against the door in the break room. It was Louis' fault, he was always pulling shit.

Do Not Go Gentle by afirethatcannotdie / @stillthehun (E, 70K)

“This is all a game to you, isn’t it? Well, it’s not for me. This is a real life or death situation,” Louis says, spitting the words at him. “And I just don’t think you’re cut out for it.”

For a moment, they stare at each other in complete silence. Harry can feel his blood thrumming between his ears, can see Louis glaring at him, feels red-hot anger. And then all he feels, oppressively and desperately, is lust.

Suddenly Louis is surging up to him to press his lips against Harry’s. Harry walks the two of them backwards, pressing Louis back against the door. Louis oomphs in surprise and brings his hands under Harry’s scrub top, scratching at his lower back.

“Lock — oh — lock the… fucking door,” Louis mutters.

When Harry Styles starts his first day as a surgical intern, he expects a lot of things: to treat patients, to observe a surgery, to feel a bit overwhelmed. What he definitely doesn't expect, however, is that the handsome guy he kicked out of his bed this morning is also an intern.

A Grey’s Anatomy AU where tensions are high, Harry and Louis are hooking up in secret, and no one has time for love. Or do they?

(Take Me Home) Country Roads by Awriterwrites / @a-writerwrites (E, 86K)

“Sir, I can help you. Just let me — “ He tried moving closer but the eldest child blocked his way. He backed off, putting his hands out in a passive gesture. “I’m a physician. I can help,” he tried again.

The man shook his head vehemently, passing the cup back to his grandchild. “Tol’ ya. Don’t need ya.” All of the fire had gone out of his voice, leaving behind a frail, sick old man with barely any breath to talk.

“I have medicines...I could make you comfortable…” Louis’ voice was still small, but pleading.

“Mountain Mama cares for wha’s ailin’ me. Don’t need no fancy city doctors.”

Louis blinked at the man, still shaking from the coughing spell. Mountain — well, fuck. That backwoods, uneducated scam artist…

“Of course he is,” Louis said curtly.*****OR a Northern Exposure AU featuring Louis as the big city doctor, Harry as a natural healer, Niall as a secretive barkeep, Liam and Zayn head over heels for each other but they don't know it and a lot of hurt, comfort and moonshine in between.

Lonesome When You Go by 13ways / @13ways-of-looking (E, 158K)

Harry, Louis, Niall, and Liam are surgeons-in-training at the most prestigious program in the United States.

More than that, Harry and Louis have a history unknown to the others, a history that involves dogs and God, anatomy lessons, food fights, vinyl jazz records, and one hell of an oyster tour.

A story of trust and friendship, of poetry and rock and roll, pink-tinged dawns and the darkest nights.

A tale of portraits, tattoos, and everlasting love.

Hold My Heart by phdmama, Awriterwrites / @phd-mama, @a-writerwrites (E, 14K)

“Excuse me, mate, I’m the window seat here.” The voice was soft, apologetic, and accented in something a bit unfamiliar — northern England, maybe, Harry thought.

“Oh,” Harry jumped to his feet and moved aside, “I’m sorry, I didn’t see you standing there.”

The other man laughed as he swung a bag into the overhead compartment and slid into the seat. “You were well caught up in that book, mate. What are you reading?”

Harry paused, wondering how to explain the fact that he was reading an epic and x-rated romance that was the story of a relationship between a prince and the man he’d enslaved. “Oh, you know, just some fiction my sister recommended.” He turned to look at the man and froze.

Sitting next to him was Louis Tomlinson.

***

Or, the one where famous Louis Tomlinson offers his hand and a lot more to his seat mate on a transatlantic flight.

@phd-mama actually has three other doctor/medical fics but I haven’t read them yet. She’s always a writer worth checking out though!

And finally, this is a doctor AU rec list from @nottooldforthisship but again, I can’t say that I’ve read any of them either!

I hope you find something you like!

[eurusholmmes]

Medicine|| Old Man Logan + Laura

Requested by Anon - Oneshot 1/2 for the day! Hope to have these finished by Tuesday! 

Prompt: You’re driving Logan and Laura to the hospital since his injuries are pretty serious. He’s asleep with his head in Lauras lap and she says, “You care for him.” and you reply, “Of course, I care about both of you.” and she replies, “No, with him it’s different.” And you end up admitting that you’ve fallen for him and will protect them no matter what because they’re her family now? 

* This is shorter then the normal ones and mainly Laura centric, because let’s be honest here... If Logan had actually survived his fight with X-24 that man would sleep for the next thirty years. So for sake of argument, he’s unconscious. Also there’s next to no dialogue LOL 

If you would like to be added to future taglists in general, please tell me!

Tag List: @house-of-penguin @drewkelliii @weasleytheking @agirlinherhead @itsbrittbrattt @rivertales @liveourlifelikenobodyelse @let-it-go-and-live-again @buckybabble @avengers-bucky-fanfic @castawaybarnes @katiedreamy @tigers-have-teeth @cleanslates 

It’s nothing but you, the thrum of the engine, and the wide expanse of sky as you venture through backwoods of Canada to take Logan Howlett to the nearest hospital. The Wolverine was unconscious in the back seat of your truck, put together by thick bandaging, whiskey, and a touch of your healing ability. Laura Kinney sat against the window, her fingers gently carding over the shell of his ear and through his hair as she intently watched his chest rise and fall in the midst of the silence in the truck.  

You couldn’t believe that she had managed to kill X-24 before he could permanently end Logans life. You had watched in frozen terror from the opposite side of the clearing as Laura broke into a run, snatching the weapon that held the adamantium bullet and jumping onto the creatures shoulders before firing point blank into his temple. 

Tears pricked your eyes as you remembered how stunned and delirious Logan was as the two of you collapsed beside him - examining the severity of his wounds. Luckily enough for you, you had just enough healing ability to bind the wound as soon as Laura had removed the shattered trunk, using the available gauze from your medical kit in the truck to put him back together. 

Now you just had to get him to a hospital. 

 Laura was more then aware of the concerned  glances you were flashing through the mirror, eyes glassy with unshed tears over the anxiety clawing its way up your throat. She’d seen it since the Compound with you and her father - the fits of laughter, the hidden smiles, the stolen glances, the way he immediately was drawn out of one of his spells of rage. Much to her shock, you had feelings for the emotionless man. 

  “You care about him.” 

It was the first time she’d spoken since the clearing. Lowering your sunglasses, you pulled your bottom lip between your teeth and flicked on your turn signal before you found the courage to look at the child. “Of course I do, sweetheart. I care about both of you.” Logan winced as you made a sharp left turn into the parking lot, his grip tightening on Lauras thigh as she gently shushed him. 

  “No.” She replied quietly, dark eyes meeting yours through the mirror as you put the truck into park and jumped out of the drivers door. “It’s different with him. You think I don’t see it y/n.. but I do. I see exactly how much you care about him. I don’t know what love like that is, but if I did, I’d say you felt it for him.” 

A pensive expression cast over your face as the two of you slowly shimmied Logan out of the back seat of the truck, You tightly wrapped your arm around his waist and bit your lip as you made your way towards the entrance of the hospital. Almost in an instant Logan was taken away from you - swarmed by a entourage of doctors and nurses who were hurriedly asking you questions about the extent of his injuries. 

The two of you were whisked away into the waiting room as Logan was taken in for extensive internal surgery. You couldn’t stop thinking about the young girls words as Laura soundly slept in your lap, mouth slightly hanging open and head tucked against your chest. The more you stared at her, the more everything in the world made sense. You had such a huge heart for people who had been through the worst types of life experiences - loss, pain, tragedy, everything. But Logan and Laura had been a different case entirely. 

With you taking care of them - loving them, being there for them, they had learned what pure and unconditional love felt like for mutants. With you being there, Logan had slowly broken down the walls of his heart that he’d been building up since The West Chester incident and let you in without a second thought. 

  “Miss Y/n? Mr. Howlett has just come out of surgery. You can go back and see him in his recovery room now. Room 1206.” The nurse called out softly, drawing you and Laura from your dozed off sleep as she lead you to Logans room. “We managed to repair most of the damage to the major organs, but we did have to remove some of the vestigial ones. As long as he doesn’t overexert himself, he should make a fine recovery.” She left you alone outside the door to Logans room, giving you the opportunity to kneel down in front of the eleven year old. 

  “You were right Laura. I do love your father. Very, very, much. But now that we’ve gotten this far, I want to promise you something.” You gently cupped the curve of her cheek as she stared at you with wide, curious eyes. “I am going to protect you, both of you, for the rest of my life. You deserve to live out a life as normally as possible. In a house, with a school and lots of friends, and not fearing for your life every time you turn around.” You stood to your feet and glanced through the window at Logans sleeping form. “And two parents who love each other. Does that sound good?” 

When you fell asleep with your head lolling on Logans bed and your fingers lightly laced, Laura looked over the two of you from the corner of the hospital room and smiled so widely it made her cheeks hurt. 

It sounds like a dream, Mommy.

[blockheadbrands]

Back To Black: Why Consumers Are Staying Loyal To The Illicit Cannabis Market

Paul James of High Times Reports:

Cannabis is legal in California…so why is the illicit market still going strong?

As people still go to jail for cannabis-related crimes, it’s a privilege to be able to carry a half-ounce bag of herb and not be doing anything illegal. But does this new freedom come with consequences? Most of California’s Proposition 215 supporters seem to believe so, particularly when it comes to high taxesinflating retail prices.

It’s pushing people back to the illicit market—the underground commerce our government said would dissipate upon legalization—to procure their meds.  Although it seems agreeable for potheads on a budget, illicit cannabis is a splitting headache for the state.

Jake Heraty, a student at the Academy of Art University in San Francisco, had a liver transplant at only six-months-old and survived hepatoblastoma, a rare cancerous tumor that develops in the liver. Heraty uses cannabis to alleviate chronic pain resulting from his surgery. It’s extremely difficult for college students (or anyone not making $150,000 a year)  to survive in San Francisco, and Heraty can barely afford the medicinal marijuana he needs.

“I don’t like purchasing from the streets,” Heraty tells High Times. “I’d prefer to go to a store and pick out just what I want. You know? But when you have to pay an extra 15 percent in taxes, there’s really no questions. I just can’t afford to throw down 20 extra dollars so the state can get their share of the cannabis market. That extra tax is my dinner.”

Still, the state of California is making efforts to rid the streets of these affordable cannabis outlets. Last May, Governor Jerry Brown proposed to put $14 million into investigations towards illegal cannabis market activity. Brown’s proposal has been put into effect and a number of illicit market groups—from distributors to cultivators—have been raided. A job like this with only $14 million is simply absurd. Destroying the illicit cannabis market in California is a multi-billion dollar job.

It’s going to take just as many years to destroy the illicit market as it will to create a well-oiled legal cannabis system.

Inside the Illicit Market

It isn’t just expensive for consumers to buy legal cannabis—it’s also expensive to own operate a legal business.

Marco*, a Bay Area dealer, sips on a bottle of lean and puffs on a Backwood. He lounges back and recollects his illicit roots, comparing it to an art and drawing parallels between the OG weed community and family.

“In the beginning, most people with any knowledge on the plant had learned it from a direct source,” he says. “Somebody who had grown it since the 1960s–those people were experimenting with hydroponics, indoor lighting environments, nutrient infusions, and all sorts of shit…Knowledge was protected by the farmers and distributors alike. Not everyone could just get into it, you had to be trusted.”

Marco has been in this business for seven years now, since he was in high school. He claims that since legalization, the familial aura of the illegal cannabis community has been fading—specifically, among those who are vying for licenses from the state. Yet, what remains a dominant factor of success is that of customer-to-buyer relationship. “People don’t often consider the family and relations that’s been built through the years between seller and buyer. The legal market just doesn’t have that yet.”

Marco believes the illicit market will continue to flourish because due to many enduring relationships between dealers and growers. Not everyone in the game is making the legal switch, according to Marco. Moreover, a lot of people aren’t looking to give up their strong relationships for a business that has no certainty. Furthermore, those just beginning in the legal market don’t have the same knowledge and experience as long-time growers.

“This is due to limitations of the industry going legal,” Marco says. “In my opinion, the goal of any licensed distributor or grower is to yield as much top quality product as possible. However, since a bunch of new guys are coming in not knowing a damn thing about how to grow pot, there’s an excess in B to C grade product floating around. These new guys ain’t got shit on those who’ve been doing it for years.”

Marco explains that his goal isn’t a matter of legality. Rather, his primary concern is helping people learn about the plant and make informed decisions about what works best for them.

“My goal is to serve more as a guide to those who might not entirely understand the plant. To show people the pros and cons and to help them find what works best for them. I just want to supply the people in my life with quality medicine so they can feel their best and achieve their best highs.”

An Outside Perspective

In 2019, however, Marco’s philosophy doesn’t mesh with California’s law. We reached out to the San Francisco Police Department with a few questions on the matter. But the inquiry was met with an uninformative response explaining that they find little activity in the illicit market.

Alex Traverso, the Chief of Communications for the Bureau of Cannabis Control—the organization responsible for regulating the legal market—admits knowing that illicit cannabis was going to be an issue. In fact, prior to Jan. 1, 2018, the BCC was well aware that underground commerce would be a problem. It’s been a hurdle for every state that’s implemented a legal cannabis program.

But illicit operations undercutting legal businesses is among the BCC’s biggest concerns. “There are people going out of their way to get a license and do everything by the book,” says Traverso. “And getting a license and paying your taxes increases your costs.”

Most people believe increased costs is the foundation in which the illicit market continues to thrive. According to Statista, the street price for an ounce of herb in California averages around $218, compared to the dispensary price of $299.

Despite higher prices for legal cannabis, California has seen floods of newcomers and tourists flocking to dispensaries to enjoy legal purchases and be properly informed about what they’re purchasing.

Traverso and his team have taken a number of steps to defend legal businesses against the illicit market. He says the BCC has sent out cease and desist letters to unlicensed businesses they discover through websites such as Weedmaps and Craigslist, for instance.

The BCC has followed up on complaints, Traverso explains. “There have been a number of legal businesses that are saying to us, ‘there are ten different illegal businesses right around our shop. We need someone to come shut these people down,’” he says. “So, unfortunately, that doesn’t happen overnight. Our investigators have to go in and build a case. But slowly and surely, we have shut a number of these businesses down.”

Still, there’s been a great difficulty for legal cannabis companies. In July 2018, regulations forced businesses to relabel cannabis-products, requiring stores to remove products from shelves and render them non-compliant—or unsellable. As the State continues to develop cannabis rules, it comes as no surprise that entrepreneurs are struggling to adapt. The BCC understands these difficulties, Traverso contends, and they’re doing everything in their power to help.

“We do our best at the Bureau to try and be available for people,” Traverso says. “I’m not gonna lie. It’s gotta be hard for businesses out there because this is a brand new thing. And the process California has gone through, at this point, is unlike any other state.”

Better Call The Pot Brother

Marc Wasserman isn’t your average lawyer. In fact, he’s a film actor turned criminal defense attorney. He fights solely for the rights of those who have been wrongly accused of cannabis charges. He teamed up with his brother, Craig, to form the Pot Brothers at Law who fight against prohibition and push for people’s rights.

A weed lawyer for longer than regulation has been in effect, Wasserman’s seen a lot in the illicit business. Though he can’t be on retention for anyone operating within the illicit market, he can defend these individuals after they’ve been arrested and charged. And Wasserman has done so many times.

“It’s grown 10-fold,” Wasserman tells High Times. “Quite frankly, [the legal market] is over-regulated and overtaxed—that’s driving consumers to go to the black market because it’s much cheaper. [Dealers] can undercut all the license businesses because they’re not getting [screwed] by regulation and taxes.”

These points are furthered by the fact legal cannabis isn’t treated like a normal business.

“Cannabis businesses have to deal with form 280-E of the IRS,” Wasserman says. “When you fill out this form, you’re saying, ‘we’re dealing an illegal Schedule 1 drug, but the government still wants its cut.’ Yet, they don’t allow you to take typical write-offs.”

Wasserman offers an example of a normal business having a secretary. If that business is paying this secretary $30,000 a year, they’re able to write it off as a tax cut. Legal cannabis businesses are not granted such privileges, however. All that can be written off are things that touch the plants, such as administrative work.

The deeper a person looks into the complications people must face in order to have a legitimate cannabis business, operating in the illicit cannabis seems far more attractive. If for nothing more than the overall profit made—without taxes.

Wasserman says there isn’t enough manpower or funding towards law enforcement to bust those driving the illicit market. Sure, we’re perpetuated with reports of raids taking place throughout California, but at the end of the day, these are only a small fraction of the large picture.

“When alcohol prohibition ended, you were flooded with your bootleggers and moonshiners,” Wasserman says. “That was until it all straightened itself out which probably took five to ten years.”

Forecast of the Underground Market

The biggest issue is the fact dealers aren’t only distributing cannabis. The problem behind the illicit market is larger than cannabis itself. For example, that lean Marco was sipping on wasn’t just for personal enjoyment. He was selling it by the bottle. He also had bags upon bags of prescription medication—everything from Xanax to Percocets.

No matter what lawmakers might do to stop it, they will be fighting the illicit market battle forever.  The reason? People like Heraty–medical patients who need cannabis at an affordable cost. Though he isn’t sure how long he’ll continue to purchase from dealers, he hopes to one day walk into a store and get his medication properly.

“I don’t enjoy illegally purchasing cannabis,” he explains. “I’ve seen the stores and they’re much more attractive than a trap house. I’ve seen the menus and the vast amount of choices these places offer. It’s wonderful! If I could afford it, I’d be in those shops all the time. It’s unfortunate California’s government is more concerned about getting their share of the cut rather than providing their residents with an affordable service.”

*Name has been changed

TO READ MORE OF THIS ARTICLE ON HIGH TIMES, CLICK HERE.

https://hightimes.com/news/legalization/back-black-why-consumers-staying-loyal-illicit-cannabis-market/

[weedconsortium2]

As people still go to jail for cannabis-related crimes, it’s a privilege to be able to carry a half-ounce bag of herb and not be doing anything illegal. But does this new freedom come with consequences? Most of California’s Proposition 215 supporters seem to believe so, particularly when it comes to high taxes inflating retail prices.

It’s pushing people back to the illicit market—the underground commerce our government said would dissipate upon legalization—to procure their meds.  Although it seems agreeable for potheads on a budget, illicit cannabis is a splitting headache for the state.

Jake Heraty, a student at the Academy of Art University in San Francisco, had a liver transplant at only six-months-old and survived hepatoblastoma, a rare cancerous tumor that develops in the liver. Heraty uses cannabis to alleviate chronic pain resulting from his surgery. It’s extremely difficult for college students (or anyone not making $150,000 a year)  to survive in San Francisco, and Heraty can barely afford the medicinal marijuana he needs.

“I don’t like purchasing from the streets,” Heraty tells High Times. “I’d prefer to go to a store and pick out just what I want. You know? But when you have to pay an extra 15 percent in taxes, there’s really no questions. I just can’t afford to throw down 20 extra dollars so the state can get their share of the cannabis market. That extra tax is my dinner.”

Still, the state of California is making efforts to rid the streets of these affordable cannabis outlets. Last May, Governor Jerry Brown proposed to put $14 million into investigations towards illegal cannabis market activity. Brown’s proposal has been put into effect and a number of illicit market groups—from distributors to cultivators—have been raided. A job like this with only $14 million is simply absurd. Destroying the illicit cannabis market in California is a multi-billion dollar job.

It’s going to take just as many years to destroy the illicit market as it will to create a well-oiled legal cannabis system.

Inside the Illicit Market

It isn’t just expensive for consumers to buy legal cannabis—it’s also expensive to own operate a legal business.

Marco*, a Bay Area dealer, sips on a bottle of lean and puffs on a Backwood. He lounges back and recollects his illicit roots, comparing it to an art and drawing parallels between the OG weed community and family.

“In the beginning, most people with any knowledge on the plant had learned it from a direct source,” he says. “Somebody who had grown it since the 1960s–those people were experimenting with hydroponics, indoor lighting environments, nutrient infusions, and all sorts of shit…Knowledge was protected by the farmers and distributors alike. Not everyone could just get into it, you had to be trusted.”

Marco has been in this business for seven years now, since he was in high school. He claims that since legalization, the familial aura of the illegal cannabis community has been fading—specifically, among those who are vying for licenses from the state. Yet, what remains a dominant factor of success is that of customer-to-buyer relationship. “People don’t often consider the family and relations that’s been built through the years between seller and buyer. The legal market just doesn’t have that yet.”

Marco believes the illicit market will continue to flourish because due to many enduring relationships between dealers and growers. Not everyone in the game is making the legal switch, according to Marco. Moreover, a lot of people aren’t looking to give up their strong relationships for a business that has no certainty. Furthermore, those just beginning in the legal market don’t have the same knowledge and experience as long-time growers.

“This is due to limitations of the industry going legal,” Marco says. “In my opinion, the goal of any licensed distributor or grower is to yield as much top quality product as possible. However, since a bunch of new guys are coming in not knowing a damn thing about how to grow pot, there’s an excess in B to C grade product floating around. These new guys ain’t got shit on those who’ve been doing it for years.”

Marco explains that his goal isn’t a matter of legality. Rather, his primary concern is helping people learn about the plant and make informed decisions about what works best for them.

“My goal is to serve more as a guide to those who might not entirely understand the plant. To show people the pros and cons and to help them find what works best for them. I just want to supply the people in my life with quality medicine so they can feel their best and achieve their best highs.”

An Outside Perspective

In 2019, however, Marco’s philosophy doesn’t mesh with California’s law. We reached out to the San Francisco Police Department with a few questions on the matter. But the inquiry was met with an uninformative response explaining that they find little activity in the illicit market.

Alex Traverso, the Chief of Communications for the Bureau of Cannabis Control—the organization responsible for regulating the legal market—admits knowing that illicit cannabis was going to be an issue. In fact, prior to Jan. 1, 2018, the BCC was well aware that underground commerce would be a problem. It’s been a hurdle for every state that’s implemented a legal cannabis program.

But illicit operations undercutting legal businesses is among the BCC’s biggest concerns. “There are people going out of their way to get a license and do everything by the book,” says Traverso. “And getting a license and paying your taxes increases your costs.”

Most people believe increased costs is the foundation in which the illicit market continues to thrive. According to Statista, the street price for an ounce of herb in California averages around $218, compared to the dispensary price of $299.

Despite higher prices for legal cannabis, California has seen floods of newcomers and tourists flocking to dispensaries to enjoy legal purchases and be properly informed about what they’re purchasing.

Traverso and his team have taken a number of steps to defend legal businesses against the illicit market. He says the BCC has sent out cease and desist letters to unlicensed businesses they discover through websites such as Weedmaps and Craigslist, for instance.

The BCC has followed up on complaints, Traverso explains. “There have been a number of legal businesses that are saying to us, ‘there are ten different illegal businesses right around our shop. We need someone to come shut these people down,’” he says. “So, unfortunately, that doesn’t happen overnight. Our investigators have to go in and build a case. But slowly and surely, we have shut a number of these businesses down.”

Still, there’s been a great difficulty for legal cannabis companies. In July 2018, regulations forced businesses to relabel cannabis-products, requiring stores to remove products from shelves and render them non-compliant—or unsellable. As the State continues to develop cannabis rules, it comes as no surprise that entrepreneurs are struggling to adapt. The BCC understands these difficulties, Traverso contends, and they’re doing everything in their power to help.

“We do our best at the Bureau to try and be available for people,” Traverso says. “I’m not gonna lie. It’s gotta be hard for businesses out there because this is a brand new thing. And the process California has gone through, at this point, is unlike any other state.”

Better Call The Pot Brother

Marc Wasserman isn’t your average lawyer. In fact, he’s a film actor turned criminal defense attorney. He fights solely for the rights of those who have been wrongly accused of cannabis charges. He teamed up with his brother, Craig, to form the Pot Brothers at Law who fight against prohibition and push for people’s rights.

A weed lawyer for longer than regulation has been in effect, Wasserman’s seen a lot in the illicit business. Though he can’t be on retention for anyone operating within the illicit market, he can defend these individuals after they’ve been arrested and charged. And Wasserman has done so many times.

“It’s grown 10-fold,” Wasserman tells High Times. “Quite frankly, [the legal market] is over-regulated and overtaxed—that’s driving consumers to go to the black market because it’s much cheaper. [Dealers] can undercut all the license businesses because they’re not getting [screwed] by regulation and taxes.”

These points are furthered by the fact legal cannabis isn’t treated like a normal business.

“Cannabis businesses have to deal with form 280-E of the IRS,” Wasserman says. “When you fill out this form, you’re saying, ‘we’re dealing an illegal Schedule 1 drug, but the government still wants its cut.’ Yet, they don’t allow you to take typical write-offs.”

Wasserman offers an example of a normal business having a secretary. If that business is paying this secretary $30,000 a year, they’re able to write it off as a tax cut. Legal cannabis businesses are not granted such privileges, however. All that can be written off are things that touch the plants, such as administrative work.

The deeper a person looks into the complications people must face in order to have a legitimate cannabis business, operating in the illicit cannabis seems far more attractive. If for nothing more than the overall profit made—without taxes.

Wasserman says there isn’t enough manpower or funding towards law enforcement to bust those driving the illicit market. Sure, we’re perpetuated with reports of raids taking place throughout California, but at the end of the day, these are only a small fraction of the large picture.

“When alcohol prohibition ended, you were flooded with your bootleggers and moonshiners,” Wasserman says. “That was until it all straightened itself out which probably took five to ten years.”

Forecast of the Underground Market

The biggest issue is the fact dealers aren’t only distributing cannabis. The problem behind the illicit market is larger than cannabis itself. For example, that lean Marco was sipping on wasn’t just for personal enjoyment. He was selling it by the bottle. He also had bags upon bags of prescription medication—everything from Xanax to Percocets.

No matter what lawmakers might do to stop it, they will be fighting the illicit market battle forever.  The reason? People like Heraty–medical patients who need cannabis at an affordable cost. Though he isn’t sure how long he’ll continue to purchase from dealers, he hopes to one day walk into a store and get his medication properly.

“I don’t enjoy illegally purchasing cannabis,” he explains. “I’ve seen the stores and they’re much more attractive than a trap house. I’ve seen the menus and the vast amount of choices these places offer. It’s wonderful! If I could afford it, I’d be in those shops all the time. It’s unfortunate California’s government is more concerned about getting their share of the cut rather than providing their residents with an affordable service.”

*Name has been changed

The post Back To Black: Why Consumers Are Staying Loyal To The Illicit Cannabis Market appeared first on High Times.

The post Back To Black: Why Consumers Are Staying Loyal To The Illicit Cannabis Market appeared first on CBD Oil Vape Liquid Spray - Cbd Pain Relief Capsules - Weed Consortium.

from WordPress http://bit.ly/2IpqcCf via IFTTT