#BUT i did draw this while kicked out and taking shelter in my personal knights house

[mus-xpart-a]

who's this majestic knight? (lowk prequel to this)

isolated + line art under cutoff :3

[transformers-fan-continuities]

Spotlight: Ties That Bind

This one’s a doozy folks! If you missed the last spotlight you can go read it here, but strap in for The Ties That Bind, an absolutely brilliant take on humanformers. It’s hosted here at @tiesthatbind-tf​ created by @artsy-hobbitses​!

Q) Give us a run down of your cont! What's it about, what's it called, what's it like?

Ties That Bind is a humanformers-based original continuity which is part Science Fiction and part Alternate History where the invasion of Quintessons and introduction of their technology to Earth in 1920 sets the world and humankind on a completely different trajectory. The active narrative spans a period from 1920 to 2070, covering the First and Second Quintesson Wars, the interplanetary Antillan War (leading to the creation of Unicron on Mars) and the Great War which involves the Autobots, Decepticons and Functionist stalwarts, and how it affects the characters.

The cast is pretty sprawling and the narrative is mostly centred around human drama with bits of humor interspaced and a dash of horror (mostly centred around how the previous government often chose to utilize the technology left behind from the Quintesson Wars to create new systems of oppression, which affected many of the characters, in the name of worldwide rebuilding efforts).

Q) What characters take the lead here? Any personal favorites?

I will admit to this continuity being very much heavy on the relationship between Old Bastards  Optimus Prime and Megatron, which is given considerable weight as they were best friends who had known each other since childhood and were deeply intrinsic to each other’s growths as individuals, which makes it all the worse when guilt and betrayal enter the party. Despite being captains in two corners of this battle, there’s a part of them that just cannot let go of their pasts together and they need to reconcile with how this will affect their agenda (Megatron) and how they lead their team (Optimus) who don’t necessarily share their history.

Other characters with significant development include:

Starscream, a Cold Construct in a toxic working relationship with Megatron with whom he is hiding a dark secret, who struggles to balance the underhanded viciousness he believes he needs to gain power and his innate desire from his Senate days to make the world a better place. 

Windblade, a Camien native who fights her government’s apathy concerning the situation on Earth which they see as unsalvageable compared to their more Utopian society. 

Prowl, a Cold Construct raised from childhood to be a cop in a police state, who finds out that he was brainwashed several times  to ensure his obedience and efficacy as a government asset and is now working to reclaim some semblance of the humanity he was never allowed to feel and figure out how much of him is who he really is and how much is programming.

Hound, a sheltered Beastman who joined the fight to ensure that Beastmen the world over would have the same rights he did in his homeland of Shetland Isle, but is forcefully stripped of his humanity and faced with his animal side during the war and has to relearn what personhood means amid his trauma.

Q) Is there a bigger point to this, like a theme or some catharsis? Or is it just fluffy fun?

God with the amount of time I spent sleepless trying to figure out how the logistics of this or the semantics of that were supposed to work in universe, I cannot for the life of me say it’s fluffy fun, but I can’t exactly say it hasn’t been pretty engaging either!

There’s elements of war being messy for everyone involved where there doesn’t seem to be a clear line between friend and foe at times, but I think for most part it prescribes to  Jean-Jacques Rousseau’s belief that people are inherently good, but are corrupted by the evils of society. Despite its dark themes (Including but not limited to child abuse, torture, illegal experimenation  and brainwashing), love and friendships do prevail, kindness does beget kindness, found families are made, even the smallest actions matter, and things do get better because there are people on both sides who genuinely want to, and strive to make it better.

With Cold Constructs and Beastmen, it also delves heavily into what it means to be human; to have agency and personhood.

There’s also a strong undercurrent of taking responsibility for one’s actions, even if they were made with the best of intentions (Avoidance of this is what eats up Starscream and Megatron from the inside, and what Starscream eventually embraces).

Q) How long have you been working on it?

There’s two answers to this!

I’ve had a Humanformers-related universe going all the way back to 2007 around the time the first Bayformers came out---basically I had a choice between learning to draw cars or draw people (I was an anthro artist back then) and I immediately chose people.

The 2007 draft however had no worldbuilding or connective storylines and was mostly a fun little venture into character design and practice which were actually instrumental to me experimenting and learning how to draw humans properly.

I left the fandom for about a decade and when I came back to it in late 2020 around September via the War for Cybertron series on Netflix, I immediately got hooked on the 2005 IDW comics I missed out on and wanted to get around to updating my old designs as well find a way to translate several of the concepts I wanted to explore in a human sense, so the 2020 update became its own full-fledged original continuity with detailed worldbuilding and history.

You can see the artistic evolution of several characters from their original incarnation below!

Q) It’s incredible to see your artistic improvement too! Give us a behind-the-scenes look! Show us a secret ;))

Say hello to my workspace! I’ve been working exclusively on the Ipad Pro since late 2016, which is fantastic because I can basically whip up concepts and sketches on the go anywhere. Nowhere is too out of bounds to work on TTB!

Also, do enjoy this sneak peek at true!form Rung, whose synthezoid human body took years to perfect.

Q) YESSSSS alright I must admit this is one of my favorite Rungs, and certainly my fave within TTB. Amazing. Phew, anyway. Where did you draw inspiration from? What canons, what other fiction, what parts of real life?

TTB was initially conceived as a faithful retelling of the IDW 2005 narrative before it was transformed into its own continuity and as such, it borrows heavily from concepts and mirrored plot lines introduced in that run! I chose to have the series inspired off it specifically for the amount of history and worldbuilding it introduced to the franchise.

Anime like Gunslinger Girl and Beastars inspired the depictions of Cold Constructs, especially the more harrowing aspects of their upbringing as government assets instead of children, and Beastmen (Beastformers) in TTB.

I haven’t depicted the world itself in my art all too much, but the architecture from Tiger and Bunny, which has sort of a futuristic Art Deco feel to it, is what you’d usually see in major cities. There is an in-universe reason for that---with a Point Of Divergence set in 1920 followed by 25 years (an entire generation) of progress basically being kicked to the curb due to the Quintesson wars, mankind was basically in a time-locked bubble until the end of the wars, and by then their heroes were 1920s-style rebellion leaders, which lead to 1920s fashion (especially among the Manual Working Class---Megatron, Jazz and Optimus all rock 1920s fashion at some point of their lives) and architecture being celebrated and retained as sort of a reminder of how things were before The Invasion. This anime’s background design is also where I adopted the tiered system TTB’s major metropolises are often built on (with each tier being designated to a different working class) from.

The main artistic style itself is a love letter to 90s cartoons, in particular Gargoyles’ deep and drama-driven character narratives and designs as well as The Centurions’ take on body armor logistics.

I also take inspiration, especially armor-wise, from the characters’ given heritage and background. As an example, Hotrod who is depicted as Irish has the flames on his armor done up with Celtic knots. Welsh aristocrat Mirage’s armor bears olden knight-style filigree and has his Autobot logo designed as a coat of arms. Indonesian Soundwave’s armor and Decepticon logo takes cues from Batik and Wayang Kulit while their mask is based off the Barong.

Q) They are absolutely gorgeous! Show off something you're really proud of, a particular favorite part of your cont.

The worldbuilding in general! Most Humanformers I’ve seen tend to treat it like a fun exercise which it is and is definitely valid, but I found myself wanting a full-fledged world to lose myself in and I sought to try and make that world myself by drafting a detailed history and timeline of events which would affect ongoing narratives, having indepth worldbuilding to include almost all societal aspects of the universe and  expanding on the concept of Beastmen and Cold Constructs existing in a human setting.

I’m not so secretly proud of the research and diversity included to make the cast look like the multicultural, globally-based team that they were meant to be instead of being locked to a single region! My original draft from 2007 was, to put it simply, quite culturally monolithic and I wanted to improve on that aspect with TTB.

I’m also proud that I’ve kept to it this far! I’m a notoriously flaky person jumping from one idea/fandom to another and to have kept at this continuity for the better part of ten months is honestly a personal feat.

Art-wise, this scene depicting a young Megatron working alongside Terminus and Impactor (cameo by @weapon-up-wallflower​‘s OC Missit!)  is definitely one of my favorites since it helps build up the world they live in and plays to familial bonds and comfort found in one another despite their less than ideal circumstances.

Q) Everything has come together so beautifully, you absolutely should be proud. What other fan canons do you love and why? Would you like to see them interviewed?

I am dying to hear more from @iscaredspider​’s Sparkpulse continuity! Her designs are MIND-BLOWINGLY GORGEOUS and I want to hear more about what inspired her to work on it!

Also YOU. Yes YOU BLURRITO. LET ME HEAR MORE ABOUT SNAP.

Q) [wails and squirms away in the mortifying ordeal of being known but in a very flattered way] I WILL SOMEDAY I PROMISE aflghsdjg thank you QwQ

Well that was fantastic, Oni, thank you muchly! A magnificent continuity with so much to look forward to! Coming up next is another personal fave of mine, the first inspiration for SNAP, so stick around...

[anxiouslyfred]

Met in the Woods

for @dukexietyweek‘s prompt Pirates/Adventure, I focused on Adventure

Summary: Remus didn’t run away, he just went on a wander through the woods. Virgil got kicked out of their home and took to the woods to try and survive. Somehow meeting was the calmest part despite Virgil attacking Remus.

Warnings: vague fighting, eldritch being mentioned, self-esteem issues, homophodia mention

/\/\

Remus hadn't run away. Really he'd barely even left home, despite packing the largest pack they had full of survival supplies and taking off into the woods one morning before anyone else woke up. There was no point in writing a note, not when he'd definitely be coming home, at some point, probably.

The woods had always called to him, filled with mysteries and adventure if only he had the time to explore and find it, and finally Remus was following the call. He already knew where the first glade was to make a camp in, after that he could follow the river some knights mentioned when reporting their patrols.

He wasn't expecting the glade to already have a tent in it, or for said tents owner to have him flat out within seconds of emerging from the treeline.

“Who sent you after me? I'm not going back, whatever crap they've told you!” The person had a staff poised to strike and with all of Remus's weapons currently under him and tied to his pack he wasn't too inclined to make it an actual fight. Besides, not being recognised as one of the sons of the areas Lord? It was basically a dream Remus never expected to happen given the amount of public appearances he was bribed into.

“Nobody sent me, not a clue who you are. Can I stick my tent over here? Heading to the river at this time of night is just asking for a patrol to catch us.” Remus shrugged, rolling to stand up again only to jump back when the staff was swiped at his legs. What was with them trying to lay him out?

A snarl curled their lips and Remus was fascinated. Most people couldn't get quite so vicious an expression, not even an enraged Roman had managed it yet, although he did get complimented on being fearsome when rampaging. “Like I'm going to believe that! They kicked me out and now expect to get me dragged back, begging for forgiveness or some shit?”

“Woah, I've never managed to get kicked out before. How did you manage that and can I try? Sounds like the best release from responsibilities ever!” Remus leant forwards, although still staying out of the staffs range.

“Writing in a journal about liking how men look. Seriously, people will kick you out for the most dull stuff. Thinking there's dangers in too thin ice, and telling people to sharpen weapons with them directed away from you to avoid self stabbing, oh that's fine. Like watching spiders and write stories without even showing them to anybody about how hot the guy next door is, nope get the hell out.” Remus frowned while listening to the rant. Those motives really did sound incomprehensible, but the persons frustrated movements did sometimes cause their top to tighten and show off muscles or make his cloak move like bats wings over their arms.

It was enough that Remus was moving forwards, bending to catch the staff as it was swung, holding it still. “Seriously? The Lord's of this land are 2 men together. We've got non-binary folks as tax collectors and both of the Lord's sons are attracted more to masculine physics than feminine and your family kicked you out for that?”

“Explains why they do everything possible to keep us kids stuck to the farm, then.” The mumble was clearly not directed at Remus but he shrugged and nodded until they looked back at him. “So if you aren't someone sent to drag me home what the hell are you doing out here?”

“I'm Remus, and just felt like a wander. Male too by the way. Who are you? I've already gathered that you're here cause you got kicked out so won't ask why.” He answered cheerfully. Whomever this person was, they'd been more interesting than most people Remus encountered.

The suspicious glare that had been fading was back a full force. “Virgil. Human, and who the hell just decides to go wandering with a full pack including a tent?”

“I do. Wanted to escape for a while, and now I'm gonna stick with you too.” Remus decided, shrugging off his pack to start setting his own tent up. “All the better if someone actually does come after you, right?”

/VR\

Virgil didn't trust this guy. Who the hell just attaches themselves to a stranger they meet in the woods? There had to be something going on here, or the guy had to be freaking insane and liable to attack in a moment of rage.

“I'm going into that cave! Are you coming?” Remus cheered, pointing further along the river.

There at least was a cave this time, a large excavation into the cliff face that was on the other side of the river. The last 'cave' Remus had tried to explore had just be a darker type of rock that the mad guy had run head first into before realising.

“It's a cave on the edge of a river. You're going to slip on the rocks and kill yourself, or get attacked by a bear taking shelter in it.” Virgil ground out, but carried on following behind Remus getting closer to the cave with each step. “I'm not willing to die for a maniac who won't leave my side.”

Remus just shot a grin over his shoulder as he finally started wading through the water. “Then why are you still following me? Besides it'd be awesome to battle a bear. Maybe I could get some brilliant scars!”

“It's called self preservation, something you seem to have abandoned already. I'm more likely to survive if I have an idiot who runs into danger when predators decide human smells like a good dinner.” Virgil snarked back, pausing to take off their shoes and roll their trousers up before entering the water. They weren't going to have wet feet for hours, no matter how willing Remus was to get his shoes drenched.

They still weren't happy about entering the cave when hours later they were trudging back out a completely different entrance lugging a chest in addition to their packs. “I told you going in there was dangerous!”

“You didn't get hurt, did you? Only blood on either of us is from that, that, actually what the hell was that? We need to go home just so I can get that thing drawn, painted, memorialised for eternity on the walls and given some kind of name.” Remus was twisting to look back at the cave even as he kept moving, holding the other end of the chest.

“Can we figure out what we're doing with whatever the hell is in here? It's heavy and neither of us are going to be ready to fight with a massive chest carried between us.” Virgil dropped their end, effectively bring them to a stop and threw themself on the ground for a rest.

There was still daylight so they weren't worried about a threat approaching unseen and really needed to stop after the fight they'd just gone through. Any creature with that many limbs should be somewhere out at sea, not in caves nowhere near the shore.

“You take it. You're the one who got kicked out from home and nobody would leave something worthless in a cave like that. Bet you could get a house almost as good as the Lord's manor with the treasure in here.” Remus decided, having sat on the ground nearby for only a second before he was  rooting through the pack from his back. “Snacks, pen, ink and paper. You eat something. I gotta start planning out my paintings.”

Virgil was already shaking their head, backing away from the chest as though it would be forced onto them. “No no no no. I'm not taking all of whatever's in there. We got it together. You should get some of it. How about half each? Or you get 3 quarters and I get the rest since I would literally have been killed when that thing first came out?”

“And here I thought I was just a chance for you to escape when I jumped forwards. You were fighting there too. I guess we could go half each.” Remus sighed as though accepting any of it was a hardship rather than treasure won. “Only if you come home with me. Let me introduce my family to the greatest reluctant best friend ever!”

They gaped at that declaration. If anything Virgil would just call them and Remus acquaintances. Sticking together in the middle of woods when no other people has been seen for days could easily turn to barely acknowledging each other once back in town. “If that's what it takes for you to take the treasure that's rightfully yours then fine I guess.” They agreed, already moving stuff about in their pack to find the empty bags they'd managed to grab when hurrying to leave their old home. At the time they'd expected the bags to be for any belongings or tools they could make and acquire while alone in the woods but the contents of a random chest was what they'd need to hold now.

Virgil left Remus to carry on drawing while attempting and after about 20 different tries, managing to unlock and open the chest. They sat separating the treasure by types and into 2 piles of each, kept as even as possible. With the sky clear and dusk not due for a while, it was a relaxing enough break after the cave systems.

/VR\

Looking up at the manor that Remus had just started leading them up to declaring 'Home!' had Virgil reconsidering everything they knew of the place they grew up in.

That was the Lord's manor and for Remus to live here he had to be... nope, NOPE! Virgil had definitely not just accidentally run into one of the sons of the Lord that ruled over his town. Remus must actually just be like, one of the servants, or maybe a gardener? Places like this had gardeners and knights right? Remus must be something like that and had taken some time off too....

All of their rationalisations to prevent panicking about having attacked and then travelled with a Lord's son proved futile when as soon as Remus opened the doors servants were swarming him, asking where the young sir had been, did he have any injuries, and anything else they'd only do for... The son of the Lord's also hurrying through the hall to greet him.

“I went on an adventure!” Remus proclaimed, waving off the servants and turning to look for Virgil who had fully started panicking and wondering if he could turn and run now. “And I made a friend too. That's Virgil and he's brilliant!”

A servant was immediately coming over, offering to take his bag while the Lord's looked him over curiously, listening to Remus who was still talking utter nonsense; a fairytale of a Virgil that they couldn't fathom how Remus thought was them.

“Well anyone who has Remus as besotted as this is more than welcome to remain with us as long as you care to, Virgil. Are there any titles that you hold?” The Lord asked, smiling at them now and holding a hand up to pause Remus's ramblings.

“No, My Lord. I am estranged from my family currently and would not be in line for any titles even if that weren't the case.” They couldn't come out with a rant about being kicked out in front of a Lord, but to deny that they were probably the lowest of his lands would only lead to worse things later.

The Lord just nodded but Remus glowered. “They've got money though. Helped me fight a beast in a cave and we found this massive chest of treasure that can get him a home and stuff now. Seriously, even while claiming they wouldn't risk death for me they followed me into the cave and fought just as much as I did when this brilliant creature attacked. Someone get my paints set up in the gallery across from my room. I know what's going on the far wall now!”

“Money wasn't our concern, Son. I'll check if there's any titles we can bestow on them for bringing you home safely.” The other Lord spoke up now and Virgil was really wishing their parents had at least mentioned the names of the nobility that ruled over them. Maybe they could ask one of the servants soon, since Remus was likely to forget about them now he was back home and around his family.

It definitely seemed possible since with the comment about finding them a title the Lords were heading to other rooms in the hall and Remus was racing down a different corridor while a few servants came to direct Virgil to somewhere else. They just let themself be led through getting measured for new clothes and settled into rooms that had at some point been requested for them. They could at least work on getting a home here before the hospitality of the Lord's ran out preferably.

/RV\

7 days had passed and Remus was confused. Each morning he'd asked Virgil to come and help him paint, or join him in the science lessons he'd insisted on getting. Each time they'd nod and come along but disappear somewhere on route to where he wanted to go.

His best friend kept hiding from him and it didn't feel like a game or even like something they wanted to do if the wary glances each meal were anything to go by. It was like Virgil was expecting him to tell him to leave, gained some hope whenever Remus asked for them to do something together but gave it up seconds later as a lie. Remus wouldn't lie, especially not over wanting someone's company. He just wanted Virgil to be around him.

Today he was going to put a stop to it. He still chattered through breakfast, arguing with Roman over painting styles and trying to get Virgil to agree with him but he didn't move to get up or say anything after his meal was finished. He just sat, waiting for Virgil to finish eating and hoping he hadn't been cutting their meal short with the invitations.

“Do you not want to be my friend?” Remus blurted once they were the only ones still at the table, making Virgil startle.

“What, of course I, no, I do, definitely do but you, I mean, I thought you wouldn't. I'm just a nobody and you have all these exciting things that's you basically bounce in your seat when you talk about.” Virgil tripped over their words, clearly concerned over Remus's question but not sure how to answer it.

Remus just watched them try to reply, concerned but making himself be calm, still. “Then why do you keep disappearing when I want to share them with you? Sharing them would make any activities like a million times better! Hell just arguing with Roman is way more fun when I've got you beside me.”

“But I'm nothing!” Virgil exclaimed, pushing down on the table. “Why would you want anything to do with me except because of pity?”

“Yeah, definitely, I pitied a guy attacking me with a staff and stuck with him because I thought he needed some charity.” Remus rolled his eyes. “Pretty sure you are more than any scoundrel I could find walking into town just because you don't give a shit who we are, if you think something's dangerous or harmful you're gonna yell about it.”

“And you don't give a damn and do it anyway, claiming there's nothing dangerous that could harm you!” Their response was a glare that just made Remus grin.

He'd missed being told off while Virgil was constantly hiding themself away. “Still take more care than I would without the reminder. Besides I love that, always needed someone to give reasons for why they're upset and you just give them.”

“Love? Besotted? Why is everyone talking like we should be courting now? I don't even have somewhere to live. Get them to stop playing with my heart like that.” Virgil moaned, apparently focused on a word Remus had barely realised he'd spoken. Watching them lean on the desk it was clear there had been more said by the servants too in the last week.

He shrugged leaning back in his seat. “They aren't. If you'd actually let me find you or come to help with my painting this week you might have realised that I am very likely to fall in love with you.” He held back from saying it had already happened while coming back from the cave. It seemed like it would be too much for them, no matter that the painting in his gallery had basically made Virgil his universe, cradled and treasured by the creature they'd battled rather than fighting it.

Lost eyes looked over to him as they processed the words. “So we can be together together? I'm not – not going to get kicked out again for liking you too much?”

“Nope, I mean I made sure our rooms are next to each other deliberately so we could go through the courting without being too far apart.” Remus pointed out. “On that thought, can I actually give you your courting gifts now? I keep trying to but you disappear before I've got them out.”

Virgil nodded mutely for a second, watching him, before leaning forwards for a kiss, barely more than a peck before they were pushing away trying to get more distance between them. “Sorry, should've asked, but um, yes, courting, we can do that!”

“You don't have to ask if you want to kiss me, but if it makes you feel better we can do constantly asking.” Remus couldn't hold back his grin, and knew it was the one servants backed away, concerned over what his manic joy would cause today.

Courting first, and convincing Virgil they were far more than their mind said over time.

[atlas-of-a-human-soul]

Cosmic love, parts 6-10

Summary: Saved by Jasper, Aurora trusts him to take her to safety during the storm, not realizing she would soon meet his entire family. Things get complicated when Paul comes looking for her, starting an altercation which reveals their secrets before an unsuspecting Aurora.  Warnings: Sexual references, drinking, depression, anxiety, angst, fluff, swearing, blood, an attack

                                               - Masterlist -

Part 6: What if this storm ends

"You can't buy me!" Aurora throws a glass his way, her nostrils flared and her eyes fixed on his, disappointment glistening in them as he ducks just in time.

"Why not? What makes you so special?" He snarls, slamming his fist on the table beside him and she swallows thickly, holding her breath not to flinch at his angry outburst. She knows better than to let him or anyone else see weakness.

"Don't try me, you devil." Her voice is calm and even, unlike her thunderous heart that's struggling to keep up with the adrenaline pumping through the coronary arteries supplying it. "Don't forget I know your secrets and I am not afraid to tell the authorities."

Smirking, she winks smugly before turning her back on the man known as the kind of a man you never leave.

"You will regret this. I promise you, Vanderbilt. Daddy won't always be there to protect you."

Gasping, I feel the cold surrounding me. My body is numb, freezing. Coughing up water, I turn my head to the side and find a helping hand pulling my hair back and another running alongside my spine, attempting to soothe my initial panic.

"Shhh", I hear the whisper, "You're going to be alright", the voice says and it's hard not to recognize it as a man's voice.

The tone truly does soothe me, or perhaps it's the icy touch rubbing my back, but I am calm, more than I should be considering I've almost died and ended up in hell. There's no other explanation for it, or that man wouldn't have been in my final thoughts. I was going to hell and he would be the devil there as well.

The man is grimacing, his hand gently tucking a strand of my hair behind me ear and my vision clears, if only for a moment. He is so blond. His hair brings memories of golden wheat fields I ran through as a child, of those many hued stems that danced in the autumn light, whispering gentle songs into the wind. His jantar eyes are fixed on me, as if he's deciding if he did the right thing.

"Th-thank you", I manage, still breathless from the shock of what seemed like inevitable death.

His arms tighten around me and his lips part and I smile, mesmerized by his beauty. I've never seen a man I could call perfect but he is - angelic perfection.

"You're a hero. Truly. Like an angel, showing up just in the nick of time." Raising a hand, I place it on his cheek with a tremble revealing just how shaken I am - not just by the near-death experience, but him.

"I'm no hero, mam'." His accent was such a playful tune, as if he were the star of his own movie. I could have sat there all day simply to listen and smile.

"I'm not a mam', Cowboy, but you're definitely my hero." Winking I grin as he pulls me up to my feet, a smile of his own appearing and my heart stops. That smile is the prettiest thing I've seen in a while, for it extends to his golden hues and deep into his soul despite the inkling of nervousness that amplifies my interest in him.

Once I'm standing, his arms leave me and the wind blowing makes me shiver. The sky cracks open above us and rain pours down, but I'm already wet and so is he. Staring at each other with faint smirks, I realize I don't even know his name. "I'm Aurora"" I shout, hoping he hears me as thunder reminds me once again how insane this situation is. I'm almost naked in a storm on the beach with a stranger who manages to captivate me with his existence.

"Jasper." He answers and I can't help the smile upon my lips as I nod, acknowledging it.

"I like it! Though I wouldn't have minded calling you Cowboy a while longer." Shrugging, I turn to gather my belongings. Something inside me stirs, telling me not to turn my back on him. Intuition, perhaps, but I do it anyway. Licking the raindrops from my lips, I taste the salty ocean lingering in the crevices drawn by God himself on my rosy lips. I wonder if lips are as unique as fingerprints.

Holding my breath, I turn instantly at the sensation of a stronger wind blowing at my back and I find myself faced with Jasper. Wide eyed, he's staring intently, his lips pressed together as if he's waging an inner war even he's surprised he's winning.

"Are you alright?" I frown, tilting my head to the right as he nods, robotically so. He's tense, not saying a word but I notice him swallowing thickly. "We should get out of this weather before lighting strikes one of us", I joke, trying to relax him. Truth be told, I'd do anything to see him smile again. He looked ethereal, a divine gift so much so I wondered if I did die and this was my heaven.

"I know where we can go." Jasper's face remains impassive. He's not even blinking, eyes focused on mine. Normally I'd find it odd, but I find myself staring back at him, challenging him. I'm not one to back down from anything, not even a staring contest. And he's standing so close, close enough to kiss him if I dare move a half a step toward him and a part of me yearns for his lips, but another part of me is questioning the attraction I feel.

"Lead the way", I offer him a half smile as he steps away and I wrap a towel around me. It does nothing to warm me, but at least I'm not as exposed as I was.

In a blink of an eye, I exhale and lose the ground beneath my feet. When I open my eyes and inhale, I'm standing in front of a small house in the middle of the forest. "How?", I stumble. Furrowing my eyebrows, I grasp my head as if it's about to fall of my shoulders and look around wildly. The trees provide a cover from the rain, but it's not as helpful with a downpour. The house looks like it had seen better days, the vines around it growing against the walls like it does in fairytales.

"You fainted and I carried you here." Jasper explains, his arms raised in mock surrender, "I couldn't leave you there and you just started coming to a minute before we got here."

Blinking fast, I try to comprehend his reasoning and while it would have been smarter if he called an ambulance instead of bringing me to the middle of nowhere, I did find myself unusually calm. If it had been anyone else, I'd probably run and call the police, but Jasper is different. I can't walk away from him. He's alluring. Inhuman in some way I can't quite pinpoint. Maybe it's the golden locks or the unusual eye mutation, but I want to embrace what life has to offer and he's here, right before me in all his perfection. I can't deny destiny has put him on my path and if this is my second chance at life, I'm not going to waste it.

"Hope I wasn't too heavy", I chuckle nervously. My legs are still wobbly as I step toward him and he's quick to catch me before I fall. Taking me into his arms once more, Jasper chuckles and I realize this is what life is supposed to be about - living long enough to find someone who will make your heart flutter with nothing but a chuckle.

"As light as a feather", he draws out with a smile remaining on his lips.

"See?" I let out a soft sigh, my palm finding its way to his cold cheek. He raises an eyebrow, pausing before opening the door and I lean my head on his shoulder with a small smile forming on my face. "You are my hero."

3rd person POV

"Where is she?!" Kicking Aurora's suitcase, Paul dents the wall. Jared sighs, leaning on the doorframe with a raised eyebrow.

"I doubt you'll get any information out of a suitcase." He shrugs, adding for good measure, "Especially one you tortured."

Paul whips around, the vein on his forehead visible and Jared can tell he's not in the mood for his smart-ass. "This isn't a fucking joke, Jared." Running his fingers through his hair, Paul shakes his head. Plopping down on the couch, he closes his eyes and inhales the lingering smell of her perfume he found himself addicted to. "She's not just anyone to me, okay?"

"What do you mean? You didn't imprint on her, right? I mean, you can't imprint twice." Jared sits beside him, his hands interlocked and in his lap as he furrows his eyebrows.

Sitting back, Paul rolls his eyes and glares at Jared. "No, I didn't fucking imprint on her but I finally found someone worth putting my heart on the line for." Sighing, Paul leans his head back and stares up at the ceiling. "I never thought I'd find anyone after Rachel. I didn't want to." Chuckling in disbelief, Paul licks his lips. "Aurora changed my mind in a single night."

"I'm sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but you really fucked up when you left with Rachel then." Jared leans his elbows on his knees, hoping to hide how glad he is he's got his imprint with him. If he lost Kim in any form, he'd never recover. "Aurora doesn't seem like the type you can screw over and still be in her life."

"I know." Paul groans, standing up with resolve. "Which is why I need to explain myself and why I need to find her. Where the fuck would she go in this weather?"

Shrugging, Jared stands too. "She mentioned she likes the beach on the drive here, so maybe she went to clear her head and found shelter when the storm started."

"I should phase and find her before she gets hurt", Paul frowns, remembering the promise he made himself but he never seems to keep it. He wanted to grow old with his friends and family. He wanted to stop phasing, but he can't seem to stop. It's why he's still so young and all his friends are aging already.

"And show up like her knight in shining armor? Smart!" Jared holds up a hand for a high five only to get Paul's eye roll as his response. "C'mon. Don't leave me hanging", Jared glances at his hand before wiggling his eyebrows at Paul.

"Not gonna happen", Paul walks away, not even looking back at Jared who looked like a kicked puppy. "I'll be back in five!" Paul shouts and in moments, a ripping sound comes as the front door opens and Jared knows Paul phased already. He's much better at controlling it now, but his temper is still difficult to deal with and it always leads to him making the same mistake - phasing.

Paul trudged through the forest, following her nearly faded scent. It's extremely difficult to follow a scent after it has rained, washing away all traces, but Paul still senses her. He needs to find her and the trail leads him straight to the beach, just as Jared suspected.

Pushing aside the annoying jealousy the thought of Jared knowing this spiked, Paul steps onto the sand with care. It's risky to walk onto the beach in his wolf form in the middle of the day, despite the rainstorm, but he's desperate. He needs her to believe in him. She's the only one that does. With her by his side, Paul feels like he can become the man he always wanted. Maybe it's selfish, but he needs Aurora in his life.

However, in the first step, Paul smells it and snarls. The sickly sweet smell is familiar, difficult to ignore.

'A vampire on our territory?' Embry joins the wolf connection and Paul is grateful for it. If it weren't for Embry, he's be going in blind for blood, but he can't. He needs permission from the alpha. Ridiculous really, especially when the alpha hasn't phased in years.

'A Cullen. The blonde male.' Paul specifies, remembering the smell so clearly. He was never fond of them, especially of the blondes. One was disrespectful, the other too bloodthirsty. 'His scent is mixed with Aurora's', Paul growls, turning back to run to Sam. He has to report this and while he's blinded with his own emotions, he'd still react the same if it weren't Aurora.

'You think Jasper would hurt Aurora?' Embry questions, running to Sam who sent him after hearing from Jared.

Paul shakes the graphic thought out of his mind as he sees Sam's house on the horizon. 'They're vampires. They're killers. It's what they do.'

Part 7: A gentleman

Teeth chattering, I cling to Jasper despite his skin being freezing as mine. It's counterproductive, yet I can't seem to let him go, but I have to. The poor guy can say I'm light as a feather as much as he wants but I don't want to abuse his kindness. After all, he needs to put me down eventually, so I tap his shoulder lightly and he takes the hint.

"I'm sorry", carefully, Jasper places me on the sofa and I shake my head with a tight lipped smile.

"I'm not."

Licking his lips, Jasper grants me a dazzling smile once more and I physically restrain myself from squealing like a schoolgirl with a crush. This can't be healthy, but he makes me feel so...light? It's as if the darkness was never there to begin with and I can't explain it, I mean, I hardly know him.

"I should set up the fireplace while you can go and get some clothes from the bedroom." Jasper glances at the doorway behind him and I nod, heading straight toward it. I could definitely use some dry clothes that are less revealing and warm.

The room is quite simple, the bed in the middle with a closet beside it. The entire room is bathed in rich honey colors, very homey and comforting. I wonder if this is his favorite color.

Prepared for a dozen cowboy outfits, I open the closet in hopes of finding something that fits me remotely enough to be comfortable only to find a rather large collection of dresses and female clothes. "What the actual fuck?" I go through them, noticing all of them are from brands that most would kill for and my eyes widen as I pause.

The hair on the back of my neck stands as I realize Jasper might have broken into the house. Maybe he knew where the key is because he stole them from someone. What if this was premeditated? He seems familiar enough, so what if he's been following me with a plan of taking me here? I don't even know where here is!

"Are you alright, darlin'?"

Gasping, I whip around and swallow thickly before deciding honesty is the best policy. "You're not a criminal, are you?"

"What?" A breathless chuckle fills the room, relaxing me. "Why would you think that?" Amused, Jasper leans on the door and I draw a shuddered breath.

"Because you have a dozen high fashion dresses here and unless you're married, it feels like you either broke in or prepared this for place for a really weird hostage situation." I fold my arms and raise an eyebrow to his cocky smirk. If he thinks I'm amusing, he should see me with my claws out. Might erase that confident smirk right off his face.

"It's my brother's cabin. His wife is very into fashion." Jasper explains and I furrow my eyebrows, wishing the earth would open and swallow me whole. "But if you want to role play, I'm not gonna put up a fight."

I'm not sure how he manages to make me feel so at ease with him, but I'm definitely feeling silly for questioning his motives. "Might take you up on that, Cowboy." I wink, watching his lopsided grin with a smirk of my own. He's a flirt. A fairly good one. Maybe some other girl would jump his bones, but my specialty is not fire. It's ice.

"I should change my clothes then." Nodding toward the door, I smile, "Unless you want to stay for the show?"

He meets my gaze not with shyness but with a blunt refusal to avert his gaze first. "Don't tempt me, darlin'." His voice is warm and rich; my heart beats faster than it's design specs should allow. Then it's silent for a moment, as if he's waiting for a response but I could hardly focus. As I blush, his look of bafflement becomes a shy smile.

"I'll leave you to it." With a curt nod, Jasper leaves the room and I exhale loudly, unaware I was holding my breath this entire time. I'm really giving my lungs a workout today.

Managing to find a suitable outfit, I join Jasper in the living room. The entire cabin is tiny, just enough for lovers to live in yet I'm baffled by a crib covered in the corner. Maybe his brother had a kid. Leaning on the doorway, I watch Jasper intently. Is he a man who would get along with kids? Would he want to have some?

"I can feel you starin', sweetheart."

Biting my lower lip to prevent a smile, I step forward. "I think I prefer darling."

He sits in a chair in front of the fire, some distance back, his long legs in front of him. Glancing over his shoulder, I notice a silent half-grin on his face. "I'll make sure to remember that."

Scratching my cheek nervously, I avert my gaze to the ground and press my lips together to avoid a smile. If I keep smiling and giggling, he'll surely think I've gone mad. It's a wonder he didn't think so by now.

Walking toward him, I pause once I'm a step away from his chair. He's changed his clothes already and the glorious muscles no longer show under his jumper. His thighs are accentuated by the jeans, making me wonder if it would be too improper to sit on his lap and lean back on his chest. The back of my head would rest on his shoulder, my lips pressing devout kisses along his jaw and his arms would wrap around me, holding me closer as if he's terrified of letting go.

"If you want my seat, I'll happily let you have it." Jasper breaks me out of my fantasy and I realize I've spent this whole time staring at him. If he didn't find me odd before, he must think I am mental now.

"No need. I'll sit here", I shuffle over to the sofa, tucking my hair behind my ears as I look at the fire. "I always loved fireplaces. They're kind of romantic." Closing my eyes, mentally face-palming, I wonder why I'm like this. I'm usually poised, always know what the right thing to say is, yet I can't seem to string a single sentence together without sounding weird since Jasper pulled me out of the ocean.

"I agree." Jasper speaks softly, glancing at me. "The way the light illuminates your lips, the way the flames dance in your eyes - it's breathtakingly beautiful."

Blinking slow, I remind myself to breathe as I find myself getting lost in his golden eyes. "Your eyes are like liquid fire. I fear the burn but I cannot look away." I admit, shamelessly so. Luckily for me, Jasper doesn't seem too disturbed by it.

"What's your favorite color?" I question, hoping to know more about the mystery man.

"My favorite color?" Jasper chuckles in disbelief, glancing at the fire before focusing on me once more. "No one's ever asked me that."

For a moment I frown, wondering how that could be true, yet something tells me he's telling the truth. His eyes are filled with obvious pain and hidden trauma glistened in the tiny haze of light that radiated off the small flickering flame of the fireplace.

"It's black. Like your hair. Like your eyes." His lips twitch, suppressing a smile. Oh, I wish I could tell him how much I enjoy his smile, how he should never hide it from me. "I'd guess yours is red?"

"Blue", I correct him, happy he finally got something wrong. "Like the sky...like freedom. Everchanging shades of blue that make up every part of our lives."

"What about the season?" Jasper notices me falter, asking me another question and I cannot help but smile at his kindness.

"Spring. New beginnings, nature coming back to life." Shrugging, I tilt my head and await his answer.

"I like autumn. It's colorful." Jasper pauses as thunder rumbles, reminding us there's a storm and a whole world outside this cabin.

Jasper has been nothing but sweet and hospitable, despite his flirting, I notice he's distant. There's something off about him I can't put my finger on. He's too perfect, it goes against laws of nature.

"You should probably get some rest." Jasper speaks up as if he can sense I'm growing suspicious and a little uneasy with the silence.

"Yeah", I breathe out, tucking a loose strand of hair behind my ear, "When will you rest?"

"Soon."

"I hope you're not a blanket hog", I chuckle, standing up. My smile falls as I realize he's not sure what I'm talking about. "You'll be joining me, right?"

Jasper smiles, more with his eyes than his lips and I lick mine to hide the unseemly thoughts his lips provoke. "I'm good on the sofa."

"I don't mind. The bed is large enough for both of us." Placing my hands on my hips, I purse my lips in hopes of him accepting, but he shakes his head. His hair is dry, golden curls frame his sharp jaw and I sigh. "You saved my life. The least I can do is let you have the bed."

"That's alright, darlin', I'll be fine out here. Wouldn't be a very good host if I took up all the space and hogged the covers, would I?" The reassuring smile lights up his face and I stare in awe. He isn't human, is he? I never saw such beauty before with so little effort. What seems mundane to him is the epitome of heavenly to me.

"Don't be afraid to join me if you change your mind", I sigh, walking behind his chair only to feel his hand wrap around my wrist as I nearly pass him by. His touch is icy, cold enough to make me gasp.

Pulling my hand up, his lips press a tender kiss upon the back of it and I'm stunned, praying my legs don't fail me. Perhaps this is what is meant by a gentleman, not one of weakness or trite politeness, but one of great spirit and noble ways. What he is, what is beautiful about him, comes from deep within; it makes me want to feel how his lips move in a kiss, how his hands follow the curves of my body.

"Sweet dreams", he whispers, releasing my hand and I reluctantly pull back.

Biting my lower lip, I wrack my brain for a suitable word to say, but I can't even think properly. He has distorted my train of thought entirely.

"Goodnight, my hero." I walk toward the bedroom, painfully aware of his eyes on me.

"I thought I was a Cowboy." Jasper teases and I turn halfway around, chuckling.

"You are. A Cowboy gentleman."

Jasper's POV

As soon as Aurora is out of view, Jasper flees the cabin. It doesn't take him long to get back to the house, finding Carlisle at the door.

"You did good, my son." Carlisle pats him on the back, but Jasper is still out of it. He's terrified to draw a proper breath, aware her scent might cling to him. If he feels her, would he go back?

"He needs to hunt. Soon." Edward appears beside them, an understanding look upon in his eyes. "I'll help you. We all will."

"If I hurt her", Jasper begins, but Edward stops him.

"You won't."

"There's no guarantee", Jasper all but growls, his eyes black as the gold dwindles away and he can feel himself losing control.

"The fact that you saved her, more than once, means you are in control. You're doing better than I did with Bella." Edward reminds him and Jasper nods, calming down slightly. He's still tense, but Edward rushing off to Alaska when he met Bella definitely felt more unhinged than anything he did when he met Aurora.

But he doubts himself. "I almost killed her at the beach. When I pulled her out and the ocean stopped masking her scent...I almost killed her. The call of her blood is....intoxicating." Shaking his head, Jasper looks to Carlisle. "I brought her to the woods planning to drain her of her blood. I ran with her, prepared to do it, but when she opened her eyes I just...I couldn't."

"She's your blood singer, Jasper. It's normal to feel that way." Emmett steps out on the porch, a dark look passing his features. "I killed mine on sight. Aurora is lucky it's you, not me."

There are times Jasper wished he couldn't feel emotions, that he could easily block them, especially when Emmett remembers his kills and regret washes over him. Despite the bitter taste of remorse in his mouth, Jasper alleviates the suffering of his brother.

"I don't want to be around her." Jasper states, looking to Edward. "Just because your blood signer was your mate doesn't mean she's mine."

"Alice said", Emmett begins, pushing Jasper further than he should. He's already on edge, it's easy for him to snap.

"I know what Alice said", Jasper remarks, narrowing his eyes at his brother, "She can't be the one. No human can survive me."

"Aurora did. So far, she survived you and you're here looking for ways to keep her alive." Carlisle reasons, a reassuring smile on his lips. He's always believed in his sons more than they believed in themselves. Especially Jasper. He's much stronger than he gives himself credit for.

"Carlisle is right. You should feed and return to her. If Alice is right, do you really want to lose your mate because you're too afraid to try?" Edward pipes in, understanding him better than anyone. Not only can he hear the inner turmoil in Jasper, but he can sense he is drawn to the girl just as Edward was drawn to Bella. It's an unbreakable bond and even if he leaves, he will suffer greatly for it. They both will.

"I can protect her from anything, but", Jasper pauses, glancing at the direction he came from, "How can I keep her safe from myself? Every time I touched her, I was scared of breaking her bones or somehow drawing blood that would make me lose control."

"Practice." Carlisle explains, "A lot of practice." Edward adds with a pensive smile.

Part 8: Golden eyed family

Heaven only knows how I found myself drawn to another so fast after Paul. Something about Jasper reminds me of the old fashioned gentlemen who'd dance with their girl to nothing but a hum of their own making. I'm not sure if it's the near death experience that reminded me of the short life expectancy humans have, but I felt an instant connection with him. It can't be a coincidence, can it?

I wondered if I'd be alright after Paul, but I am. I'm still disappointed and angry at how things turned out between us, but he's barely an afterthought since yesterday. Paul and I had such chemistry, but he's complicated. Too complicated for a woman that ran from the same back home. Maybe it just wasn't meant to be.

With a sigh, I slip off my shirt, deciding to put on my clothes back. Whoever Jasper's sister in law is, she'd probably like her clothes back eventually. I know I would.

"Darlin', wo-", the voice stops and I turn with a gasp, frightened by his sudden appearance at the door. I'll admit I hoped to wake up by his side, but he really stayed on the couch. If it were anyone else, they'd join me but not Jasper.

"Morning, Cowboy." I wink, attempting to play it off. I'm praying my cheeks haven't reacted with a crimson telltale I'm embarrassed of his eyes on my body. It's ridiculous, isn't it? I've been almost naked in his arms less than twenty four hours ago, yet I'm self-conscious of my body now as I stand there in my bra.

He's quick to turn away and I swallow thickly, wondering if he's repulsed by me. "I'm sorry, I didn't realize you're changing."

"It's fine. Not like you haven't seen me yesterday." I laugh it off, swiftly putting my clothes on to reduce the uncomfortable tension in the room. It's suffocating. "I'd tell you it's no biggie if you wanna sneak a peak, but I have a feeling the gentleman in you would adamantly refuse and probably be appalled by the suggestion."

A breathless chuckle escapes him and I smile, unable to resist the stupid grin that seems to appear every time he laughs or indicated he's enjoying my company. "I actually came to invite you to the main house for breakfast if you have the time."

"Main house?" I raise an eyebrow, tapping his shoulder with my left index finger. He turns on his head and we find each other face to face. I meet his gaze and hold my breath, in awe of the emotions swirling in his golden eyes. Suffering, loneliness, longing, desire; his eyes hold deep seated emotions and an inkling of hope he's trying his hardest to hold close.

"Yes. My family would love to meet you."

It's hard to tell, but I'm not really doing well. I've been looking for someone who'd see the same emotions in my eyes my whole life and with Jasper, I feel he does. For the first time ever, I feel understood. I pause, noticing the power behind those breathtaking eyes. The power that's as reckless as a tornado. His eyes flash. For a moment they look golden with warmth... and as dangerous as hell.

So why does it make me feel safer? I should run. I've seen that look in other men and all of them brought me to the point of nearly drowning in the ocean. But Jasper pulled me out. Maybe that's why I want to stay this time around.

"Are you sure they'd like a stranger barging into their house. I don't wanna impose." Tucking a strand of hair behind my left ear, I exhale and cast my gaze to his chest. The intensity of his gaze can be quite exhausting, intimidating.

Placing the tip of his cold index finger just under my chin, Jasper tilts my head up to look into my dark eyes. A soft smile on his lips gives me relief. "Not at all. They'd love to meet you and I'd love to spend more time with you."

With a subtle nod, I return his smile. "I hope you put something warmer on", I raise an eyebrow and glance at his hand as it drops, "Your hands are cold."

"They're always this cold." Jasper turns away, the smile on his face still present as he begins to walk out and I follow, barely catching up with his strides.

It didn't take us long to arrive, the walk mostly filled with Jasper's talk about the trees and flowers around us. I never realized how interesting biology can be when someone handsome speaks of it.

"I should warn you." Jasper pauses, folding his hands behind his back as he leans down, "My family is very..." He trails off, trying to find the right words before continuing, "Intrusive. They might ask a lot of questions you don't need to answer."

"I have nothing to hide", shrugging I continue forth and glance back at Jasper. "Are you coming?"

Smiling, Jasper nods, "Lead the way."

"You're not nervous, are you?" Jasper questions as I pause at the steps, gulping.

"Maybe a little." I lick my lips, staring at the door intently as Jasper walks up the few stairs and opens the door.

"Don't worry, we're all trained not to bite our guests...at least not without asking for permission first." Jasper smirks and I giggle, finding his statement odd. It's the first sexual innuendo he's made and I can honestly say I'd like to hear more. There's something about angelic looking men who have a little of the devil in their words.

"Welcome", a woman in her thirties walks out and my eyes widen. Not only is she drop dead gorgeous, but her eyes are golden like Jasper's too. "I hope you like waffles." She smiles and my heart pounds against my ribcage like an animal trapped with no way out.

"You must be Jasper's sister", I smile politely, walking up to the door on wobbly legs. I can't stop staring at her perfection.

"Mother, but you flatter me. My name is Esme Cullen." She goes in for the hug and I stiffen as her cold arms wrap around me shortly after.

What kind of a genepool is this? Cold, pale, angelic beauty with golden eyes?

"I see my wife has already welcomed you", another blonde man approaches us from the left. His kind smile is inviting, but now I realize where Jasper got his looks from. His eyes are golden as well. They must be wearing contacts, right?

"I'm Carlisle", he outstretches a hand as Esme releases me from her hug and I take it, giving it a slight squeeze. Glancing at Jasper, I notice his pensive gaze as he stands beside me - close enough to make me feel protected, but too far for me to reach for his hand for comfort.

"I believe Jasper explained we already ate, but there's plenty for you to eat." Carlisle makes eye contact with Jasper and I swallow thickly, licking my lips.

"He did not."

"I assume you'd decline if I did." Jasper speaks up and I narrow my eyes at him and the cocky smirk he flashes in return.

"I'm grateful for the invitation." I smile at Mr. and Mrs. Cullen as they both seem like quite literally the angel spawn on Earth.

"Wonderful. You can leave your coat with Jasper and he'll take you to the kitchen when you're ready." Esme and Carlisle give Jasper a fleeting glance before leaving us alone and I finally let out a breath I didn't realize I was holding.

"We'll see how grateful after you've met all my siblings." Jasper speaks lowly with a drawl, bringing back the accent he tries hard to hide. Sometimes it's gone entirely, yet it creeps back in every time he lowers his tone or speaks faster.

"How many are we talking?" I raise an eyebrow as I place my coat on the rack.

"A lot. We were adopted, in case you're questioning Esme and Carlisle's age."

"I was going to question the plastic surgeon they might be sharing." I chuckle, covering my mouth instantly. I didn't want someone to hear and take it the wrong way.

"Well, if you survive my sister Rosalie, you'll survive the rest of 'em." Jasper places a hand at the small of my back and my breath hitches in my throat. It's electrifying, breathtaking and addictive - his touch is like an adrenaline rush.

It would have soothed me if I wasn't already a nervous wreck. Being around Jasper helps, but I'm drowning in anxious thoughts and I cannot help but wonder if him bringing me over is just his gentleman side coming out or if it's a sign he'd like to keep me in his life longer than a single night.

I hope it's the latter.

"Oh, what did you tell the poor girl! She looks terrified!" A teasing voice comes from my side and I turn left, noticing a large man with an equally teasing smirk. He winks and I muster an awkward smile, giving him a small wave.

"I'm Emmett", he steps closer, leaning until Jasper holds out an arm before me like a barrier. "The handsome brother", but he doesn't seem affected by Jasper's actions as I do. His brother is close enough for me to note his ethereal beauty and golden hues and I'm not sure why I'm surprised, but I'm certain they're all wearing contacts now. It's a little enough to answer some of the questions I've had.

Glancing up at Jasper, I notice his face had darkened. His jaw is clenched and his eyes are fixed on Emmett. His body is tense, enough for me to worry too.

"I'm Aurora", introducing myself with a confidence I'm mostly faking now, I turn to the table and notice a lot more of gorgeous people with golden eyes staring at me. Giving them a small, awkward wave, I step closer to them only to feel Jasper's hand move to my hip.

Letting out a shuddered breath, I clear my throat, "Thank you for the gracious invitation."

"Jasper insisted." A blonde from the far end of the table speaks up with a near scowl on her flawless, perfectly sculpted face and I frown, swallowing my spit before I choke on it.

"Oh", I have never felt as uncomfortable as I do now and I've had my share of awfully uncomfortable luncheons.

"Don't listen to Rosalie, she was just as intimidating when I first came to the house", another one joins the table and I glance at her appearance. Her clothing choices are sophisticated, much like the ones I've seen in the closet back at the cabin I slept in last night. She's a timeless beauty with her long, brown hair falling effortlessly down her back with her pale skin contrasting it. She wears a sympathetic smile, perfectly paired with a comforting, supportive look in her jantar eyes. "She's all bark and no bite."

"Besides, we're more than happy to have you here." Esme adds to lessen the tension and I let out a short exhale.

Jasper moves toward the table, his hand abandoning my hip and I feel my heart physically sink with the loss of his cold touch. It's weird, I've never been a fan of anything cold, but I'd like nothing more than to feel his icy fingers dance along my skin.

Coughing, the quiet one next to the brunette widens his eyes as our gazes meet and I'm not sure why, but I could have sworn he knew where my mind went.

"I'm Bella and this is my husband Edward." The brunette waves me over, to the seats available beside her and I oblige. Jasper is quick to take the seat closest to Bella, making sure I know it by pulling out the chair right beside the one he clearly intended for himself.

"Thanks." Allowing him to seat me at the edge of the table, alone, I lick my lips and glance at the picture perfect family. I really should get some beauty tips from them. If New York gossip sites love me now, imagine how they'd be if I looked like that.

Everyone's staring at me, watching every move I make and while I'd usually write it off as paranoia, none of them are even blinking. "Do you want any toppings?" Jasper questions and I flinch, not even realizing how quiet it got. The only audible sound is my heart beating and my inner screams.

The one besides Bella, Edward, flinches and I furrow my eyebrows, pursing my lips. I swear he's the oddest of them all.

"Aurora?" Jasper tilts his head forward, blocking my view of Edward and I blink fast, hoping Jasper doesn't think I like his brother or something.

"Yes!" My voice is high and pitchy, making me pause as I chuckle and so does Emmett. "I'd love some maple syrup." I exclaim as Rosalie chuckles dryly.

"Someone needs to go get it out of the pantry. We have a guest to entertain."

"I'll go." Emmett volunteers and Jasper nods, subtly enough I'd have missed it if I wasn't already focused on him.

Leaning forward, Carlisle is kind enough to carry the conversation, "So, Aurora, where are you from?"

Raising both eyebrows, I swallow the food, "New York. I'm here strictly on business." I add for good measure. I'd rather not have Jasper or anyone else know I was foolish enough to think my heart took me here. It was nothing but an overly romanticized moment and it is over faster than I thought possible.

"And how long do you plan on staying?" The blonde, Rosalie, perks up, seemingly happy with the prospect of my quick departure. She smiles for the first time ever as Emmett walks into the room and I realize he's probably the only one capable of turning the intimidating glare she pierces me with into a gentle gaze.

"Here you have it." Emmett winks, placing the maple syrup before me. The bottle isn't open, the price tag still attached.

"Thank you, Emmett."

Emmett nods in response, moving to Rosalie's side and I smile, envious of the way he naturally gravitates to her. His hands clasp her shoulders, his lips press a quick peck to her temple and they're both smiling, both incredibly in love with one another and I cannot help but feel saddened. It's something I've always wanted - someone to love and someone who loves me back. Simple yet unattainable for people like me.

"I'm not sure when I'm leaving." I remember Rosalie asking, "I'm in the process of finding a place to stay, actually."

"You should stay here." A light, girly voice chimes in and I turn to the source only to find a dainty girl in a stunning black dress. Her hair is short and dark, only accentuating her perfectly chiseled cheekbones. Her eyes are molten gold as well, probably a sibling too. Adoptive sibling. Her smile is as light as her tone, matching the gentle gaze she set upon me.

"I'm Alice and I have a feeling we're going to be great friends."

Raising my eyebrows, I clear my throat and grab a napkin to wipe my mouth. "Nice to meet you Alice." Turning to the rest of them, "All of you, but I really should be going. I'm grateful for the offer, but I cannot accept it."

"Why?" Jasper speaks up and my heart races, as if the sound of Jasper's voice alone is enough to render me powerless. For that reason alone, I must leave.

There were far too many men who could make me feel powerless. I don't want another one on my hands. I want a man that makes me feel powerful. Paul gave me that feeling, if only for twenty four hours or so.

"Because I have plenty of money not to inconvenience anyone and I'd rather be closer to the city." Well, it's not a complete lie.

"Well, if you can stay for a lemonade, we'd appreciate it." Bella stands and I draw a deep breath, licking my bottom lip while contemplating. I mean, what's one drink, right? It's not very polite to dine and dash.

"One drink can't hurt." Edward tilts his head to avoid Jasper's, making brief eye contact with me.

Narrowing my eyes at him ever so slightly, I purse my lips and nod. "Sure. One glass."

Cullen's POV

"She's definitely special." Emmett raises an eyebrow while Aurora and Bella talk in the backyard, turning to Edward. "Did she figure out I had to speed to the store for the syrup?"

"She questioned why the bottle was new and had a price tag, but nothing else." Edward responds. "She does like to scream a lot." He turns to Jasper with an exasperated look on his face. "A lot."

Chuckling, Jasper raises an eyebrow, "I felt your pain."

"She likes you." Edward sighs, "A little too much. She's worried about it and wants to run for the hills."

"Worried how?" Jasper folds his arms, furrowing his eyebrows.

"Your presence affects her. She fears you make her powerless and she hates that feeling. She's infatuated, but fighting it with every fiber of her being. She's also wondering what plastic surgeon we go to."

"We gotta write that one down", Emmett cackles, running off to find his little joke book with all the accumulated comments he's heard humans make on his family's impressive looks.

"Anything else? Maybe something that will help me keep her around." Jasper's annoyance is easily detectable, even without mind reading abilities. His eyes follow Aurora and her frail looking body. She's incredibly beautiful, like a flower in the eye of the hurricane. If he makes one wrong move, just adds a little more pressure than necessary, she'd break under his touch and Jasper doesn't know if it's something he'd be able to live with.

In all his years, he never believed he'd be friendly with a human, let alone crave one in every possible way. Draining her would be the easy way out. Her blood calls to him like a siren's song, drawing him in, but the essence of her being is calling out to whatever is left of his heart and soul.

Alice said he'd find her, his real mate and he didn't understand it then. If anything, Jasper always believed Alice was his mate, but this feeling? This all-consuming need to protect Aurora, to hold her close? The desire to have her whisper sweet nothings in his ear as he kisses her pretty lips? It felt vastly different than it did with Alice.

Jasper owes Alice his gratitude. He owes her his life. He loves her with all his heart, he's just not in love with her.

"Aurora had some...colorful thoughts of you two", Edward clears his throat, visibly uncomfortable as Jasper turns to him in confusion, a ghost of a smile upon his lips as he realizes what Edward is hinting to.

"Oh."

"Yeah. My thoughts exactly." A breathless chuckle escapes Edward, but soon, his face hardens and his eyes look toward Bella.

"We have company." Edward appears beside Bella in seconds.

Jasper's hand slides over Aurora's lower back, safely pulling her behind him so quickly she loses her breath in fright.

"What are you doing?" Aurora gasps, turning to Jasper only to find him standing firm with his back to her face.

"Where is she?!" A growl-like voice echoes through the backyard and Aurora frowns, recognizing it instantly.

"Paul?" Her frown deepens, tilting her head so she sees around Jasper's protective stance.

"Aurora? Thank God." Paul smiles, rushing toward her when the rest of the Cullens step forth and she realizes something weird is happening.

"Not another step." Jasper warns, his hands forming fists at his sides as he strides forward and Aurora's heart sinks with the sight.

"She's with me." Paul growls, "You took her from our land."

"I think it's better if we head inside", Esme tries but I shake my head.

"I saved her life." Jasper rolls his shoulders back, taking a step closer to Paul who seems ready to get physical and Aurora can't help it.

"Can we just calm down and talk like people, please?" She speaks up, loudly enough to make sure they hear her over their macho displays of power.

"Come here." Paul turns his gaze to her, outstretching an arm with his palm open in anticipation.

Jasper slaps his arm away, getting into his face, "She's not going anywhere."

"You gonna stop me? Huh?" Paul's lips form a cold smile, one forged in anger.

"I think there's been a misunderstanding. Just calm down and we can talk it out." Aurora's voice is shaky, unable to hide her true emotions. She's scared of what might happen and she's confused about the reason why.

"I will not let you take her." Jasper stands his ground and that's when it happens. In a fraction of a second, Paul's inability to keep control finally breaks to the surface and while Aurora wasn't close to be in danger, especially not with Jasper speeding toward her to act as a shield, she was close enough to see it happen.

Shifting can be traumatic for humans and while she always believed she's stronger than most humans, her mind saw Paul - the man she truly liked, had turned into an oversized wolf in a blink of an eye. She smiles, almost in disbelief, but before a single word passes her lips, she finds herself slipping straight into Jasper's arms, darkness overtaking her sight.

"Shit." Emmett raises an eyebrow, "Really would have bet on her kicking all our asses instead of fainting."

"Her mind couldn't take it. It's a normal, human reaction." Carlisle explains.

"Bella didn't faint." Jacob and Renesmee walk out of the woods, Jacob winking at Bella.

"I already knew about vampires. What's one more weird, unexplainable thing?" She shrugs it off, looking toward the woods.

"Paul, you should really call the pack here and shift to humans. The poor girl has had enough of a shock. We'll have a barbecue and talk as she suggested." Carlisle steps in, realizing he has to diffuse the situation. The last time the wolves came, they were fighting for their lives. This time, most of them are already in human form, only a few still shift.

"What am I supposed to tell her when she opens her eyes?" Jasper's gaze is fixed on Aurora's pale face, holding her weightless body close to him with as much gentleness he could muster. Even without her being conscious, he can sense the panic inside.

Pushing some of it out, Jasper entices positive emotions within, hoping it lessens the shock.

"I think you'll figure it out. You're already doing good by her." Alice taps his shoulder lightly, reeling in her usual affections. Her vision came true, once again. If she was honest, she hoped she'd have more time to get used to the idea of Jasper loving someone other than her, but he found his mate. She'll find hers eventually as well.

"What if she hates me?" Jasper whispers, fearful of losing her.

Alice smiles knowingly. She can see some of the struggles they'll face in the future. The road ahead is filled with pain and still, she saw a lot of happiness too. "She won't."

Part 9: While she slept

Paul paces in front of the house, his paws already aching. It's a common misconception that they're indestructible, that they don't feel pain or that they don't get tired. He may be mythical, but a part of his is still human and the human inside is dreading every tick of the clock Aurora is unconscious.

"You need to calm down." Jared hisses under his breath, coming closer to his longtime best friend with a wary expression on his usually smiley face. "You're making them and us nervous. Everyone shifted back already."

Noticing Paul stop and look up where he could see Jasper standing at the window of the room they laid her down, Jared shakes his head.

"I'm pretty sure he's not gonna kill her, okay? You have to shift back before she wakes up and you still have paws instead of hands."

Huffing, Paul sits and gives Jared a pointed look. If it were that easy, Paul would never shift again. If he could, he'd cast that part of him away and take back the reigns. Unfortunately for Paul, no matter how hard he tries, his temper overpowers him and he wished he could chuck it off to his shapeshifting ability, but it's something he's had since he was little. There was always anger he couldn't control within, ever since his parents divorced when he was barely seven years old.

He has lost a lot because of it. Paul hoped he wouldn't lose Aurora too.

"He crossed to our land!"

Sighing, Jared pinches the bridge of his nose as he hears the argument start in the backyard between Embry and Emmett most likely. Paul glances their way, but refuses to move. He'll never be able to calm down enough to shift back this way.

"If he didn't, she'd be dead!" Rosalie's voice snaps Paul's head in their direction again, finding it odd the blonde would involve herself and not Emmett as Paul assumed as well as Jared. "Jasper saved her life and he protected her when you couldn't!"

"And how many times did he wish he could stick his fangs in her?!" Paul questions in his mind, still uneasy with Jasper's presence around Aurora. He blames himself for it, but he cannot allow his guilt to throw him off. For her.

"Does it matter when she's unharmed?" Edward speaks up in response to Paul's thinking, making Bella frown.

"Why does he even care? He has an imprint."

Jacob runs a hand through his hair, biting his lower lip. "Yeah, uhhh...That didn't quite work out."

"How? Aren't they soulmates or something?" Bella presses, earning herself a low growl from Paul who'd rather be as far away as possible.

"No. Imprints aren't romantic. Nessie and I aren't." Jacob reminds her and she nods, tilting her head to cast a fleeting glance at Paul who draws deep breaths.

When he's triggered, it is so very hard to have self control. He is doing the actions, it is his behavior but feels as if the gas pedal got stuck down and in that acceleration, in that momentum, the steering wheel gets all jammed up too. It's all fight or fight and it's so disappointingly primitive but Paul can't override it unless he has a friend to help him, to guide, to release that emotional pressure so that he can take back the steering and make good choices. Without someone to love and be loved, Paul loses control and he's incapable of finding peace.

For Paul, Aurora felt like peace. She felt like a sliver of control he's been looking to cling to and in that hope, he thought there was finally a solution- he'd be able to stop shifting, grow older with his friends and family, have a normal life. Losing her before he can even say she was his to hold made him so much worse off than he was when Rachel decided she wanted to be with someone else.

Jasper stood at the window with his hands folded behind his back. His eyes are downcast, focused on the wolf who is drowning in guilt and anger and neither seem to relent. It would be so much easier if he could help him and thus help himself, but some emotions need to be felt. Perhaps Paul would benefit from them in time.

There is a storm within Jasper just as strong as in Paul, but his emotions aren't of guilt nor anger, but fear and worry. He's afraid and worried of the consequences of both losing Aurora and having her. The first he'd live with, she'd at least be alive and somewhere in the white world, changing it into a better place than it would be without her. And if she stayed and allowed him to love her as a vampire would love a mate, she'd be in constant danger - not by some unpredictable element, but him and his family. Any moment, one of them could snap and kill her. He wouldn't be able to live with that.

Turning to her, Jasper could have sworn his stone heart cracked. She's so beautiful. He doesn't really know her, yet he feels knows so much about her that he can't tear his eyes away.

There are as many kinds of beauty as there are leaves in the autumnal forest. Her emotions were not easily hidden on her innocent face. Her pain was evident in the crease of her lovely brow and the down-curve of her lips. But her eyes, her dark eyes showed her soul. They were a dark heaven, an ocean of hopeless grief. As Jasper first looked into her eyes he knew, all the beauty of the universe could not even hope to compete with this simple thing: passion. Passion turned her eyes into orbs of the brightest fire, and in them he read clearly that she would fight to the very last breath for her life. She would not let the world break her. Sure she would cry in the confines of her room, but she would never let them take her true self from her. She clung to it with passion. Passion that made her beautiful.

She's confident on the outside, but Jasper saw her insecurities too. He could see she's defiant, witty, incredibly sensual and while he never thought it would happen, she proved to him that time can stand still - even for a vampire. He knows she's the girl Alice told him would be the one. She will change the way he looks at life and love.

"Paul has agreed to keep his cool." Jacob leans on the doorframe, eyeing Jasper with a raised eyebrow. "As long as she's not missing a single hair from her head."

"She'll never come to harm by my hand, Jacob." Jasper glances at the young wolf with a solemn look in his eyes. "I'd rather be ripped apart by Paul himself than hurt her."

"You can't swear by it. If she were to bleed, you'd lose control." Paul's voice is low, dark. It's enough for Aurora's mind to grasp to reality.

"Not when it's her." Jasper stands firm, truly believing it. If there is something he'd never allow, it's to be the reason behind her demise. "She means everything."

"You don't even know her." Paul snarls, "I", planting the palm of his right hand on his chest, Paul continues, "Do! I know her. I've felt her, held her, kissed every inch of her skin!" Smirking as he notices Jasper's eyes harden, Paul steps closer, "I had her putty in the palm of my hands and she loved it. So you can hop off whatever fantasy you have about being with Aurora, because she is mine."

Holding his tongue, Jasper narrows his eyes at Paul and the possessive words he spilled so carelessly. He speaks of Aurora as if she's his property, as if he could bend her to his will - break her like a horse, as they used to say in his hometown. It irks him in the worst possible way, the inner desires to act on his instinct fighting its way to the surface.

"Do tell her that. And let me watch when you do." Jasper winks, grinning. Then he lowers his voice and leans closer, "She's not a thing to own. Regardless of what you believe, she is free to choose what's best for her and I don't think either of us fit the box."

"That's why I'll show her I am the choice she should make." Paul shrugs, turning to her. "She may be important to you, but she's my saving grace."

"She's my mate. I believe that trumps whatever misogynistic claim you think you have on her." Jasper cracks, raising voice and in that instant, Aurora gasps.

Frightened and aware they've heard her, she opens her eyes and sits back against the headboard.

"It's alright", Jacob steps toward her with arms up and open to prove he's not a threat. Her heart hammering inside her chest drew everyone's attention, aware she's awake.

"The show is starting." Rosalie chuckles, sitting back in her chair.

"That's not okay." Seth speaks up, sending Rosalie a judgmental look before looking to Carlisle.

"Seth is right. Either support Jasper or don't say anything at all."

Happy with Carlisle's words, Seth's cheeky grin appears and Rosalie can't help but glower at him.

"I'm actually rooting for them." Emmett pipes in.

Bella chuckles, "You always had a weak spot for humans."

"Just the cool ones." Emmett winks. High-fiving Bella, they both decide to go upstairs, hoping to diffuse the situation.

It's not easy to deal with the supernatural, Bella knows that. Even she struggled with it to a degree, but she knew Aurora might have a harder time accepting the world she entered. Most humans cannot fathom the existence of vampires and shapeshifters, but Bella knew Aurora would eventually acclimatize. Adjusting may be hard, but there is a reason she was seen in Alice's visions and there is a reason she drew the attention of both species. After everything she survived, Bella trusts Alice and her visions.

"We won't harm you", Jacob reaches for Aurora's hand but she recoils.

Pure terror surged through her veins, icy daggers straight to the heart. The fear she'd felt in the ocean was nothing compared to how she feels now. Now she feels as if she's being held underwater, gasping for air but not being able to do a damn thing about it. She can't help but think that maybe it would be better if she drowned. At least then the nightmare would be over. But this, whatever it is, it's real and she's surrounded by people that aren't really people.

"It's going to be alright", Jasper's warm tone brings her attention to him, his lips. She never quite figured out if the beauty of his lips was more their softness or the association with the words he spoke. Either way, his lips and voice eased her fears.

"Don't fucking control her!" Paul growls, glaring at Jasper. Jacob jumps between the two, leaving open a path.

Noticing it, Aurora flings herself toward the door, narrowly missing Emmett and Bella who frown, sharing a confused look.

"Umm, is she supposed to be running away?" Bella questions, seeing all three of them stop and turn to her with wide eyes while Emmett chuckles,

"Shit!"

Part 10: Run

I liked running as a teenager. Running was a vent, a way to overcome all emotions I had been forced to push under the surface. When I'd run, when my soles felt the earth and gained their own rhythm, my thoughts became lyrics - my own original track had the chance to play for its audience of one. It became an escape from reality, from the cruelty of life and all I was supposedly blessed with. But this isn't running.

Tears blind me and I turn, running as quickly as my short legs can carry me, bolting through the unmarked forest trail, quickening my pace to an all out sprint. The crunching noise of my bare feet against the leaves is drowned out by an echo that matched my heart throbbing inside my chest with the thick fear I feel as I run. I feel the screaming of my lungs and the will of my muscles to go far beyond what exercise could ever demand. This is the body and brain on full survival mode and it is nothing but pain.

With each footfall a jarring pain shoots ankle to knee, ankle to knee. My heart beats frantically, it's all or nothing. Fail and my whole body will pay the price. They know the area better than I, they're fast and I don't even know what else beyond their ability to somehow become giant wolves. So, I run. I run faster and faster. Twigs scraped past my face, entangling themselves into my hair. My feet slip and I almost tumble over, more time I cannot afford.

All at once my foot ceases to travel forwards and the scenery starts to blur like a poorly shot action photograph. The colors swirl and blend as my head becomes tilted toward the forest floor. I can't open my voice to scream, fear, paralyzing my body.

"Ugh", I grumble, wheezing as my burning lungs gasp for air. My legs feel numb and unsteady, painfully sore. My throat feels dry, so uncomfortably dry. Turning on my back, I feel a burning sensation on my leg. Swiping my palm across my thigh, I raise it up to my face only to see crimson - I'm bleeding.

Heaving, I close my eyes for a moment. I'm not sure what I'm running from, but I'm sure I miss being bored in my big apartments, drinking champagne all day while spending my father's money online.

"Hello there."

A sudden, strange voice jolts me back to reality and I gasp, sitting up instantly. I kick my legs out and push myself away from the man as he stares at me with a Cheshire grin. It's unsettling how his eyes seem to rack over my body, pausing at my injured thigh with interest. He licks his lips, slowly, before stepping closer to me.

"Stay back!" I shout, pushing myself further from him until I hit an obstacle. Quickly glancing at it, I realize I'm backed against a tree trunk, my legs still feeling as if they would fall off from the unexpected sprinting. I'm not even sure if I could stand if I have to run again.

"Why would I do that, little sheep?" The man chuckles, amused with me. He cocks his head to the side, approaching me.

"It's enough." I hold out a hand, palm open toward him. It's stupid really, as if my hand would stop him. He's tall, burly and from the unsettling vibes he's giving, I'm convinced he has no good intentions.

"You're a rare sight, do you know that? A legend, really." The man purses his lips, crouching to eye level and my eyes widen as I finally see his red eyes. "I've heard of it, but to see it? To smell it?" He smirks, leaning in with a malicious glint in the blood pools his eyes are made of.

"What the fuck are you talking about?!" Defensive, I pull my legs up to my chest as he reaches out to touch my bleeding wound.

"Your blood, of course."

In a blink of an eye, his hand is wrapped around my neck and I'm gasping for air. A choked cry for help forced itself up my throat, and I feel a drop run down my cheek. Grabbing onto his hand, I try to sink my nails into his skin, to hurt him enough for the pressure to let up and allow me to take a proper breath, but it doesn't work. My heart is hammering, helplessly screaming for oxygen as adrenaline forces it to go faster, quicker, to supply my brain with blood it needs to survive.

As my vision blurs, I feel relief. The hand is gone, I'm wheezing in a failed attempt to catch my breath. Gripping my throat, I feel as I fall to my side, coughing uncontrollably as a hand sets on my back. It's warm, running up and down my spine as I blindly reach for something to hold on.

I hear muffled voices, drowned out by the pulsating in my ears from the panic that's been tormenting my body. And as I heave, a cold hand rests upon mine. It's familiar, enough to remind me of the initial reason why I was running, but I'm not scared. If anything, I'm feeling safer.

"She'll be fine son. Leave." I hear Carlisle's voice and flinch, trying to crawl away but the warm hand on my back becomes a pair of arms meant to cage me.

I'm picked off the ground and held close to someone's chest. "It's alright, I'll help you."

Blinking my eyes open, I gulp as I realize my vision is blurred. I notice a faint glow of golden hair and shapes of what must be really large dogs, but my conscience is slipping. My eyelids are heavy, swallowing is becoming increasingly difficult.

"Carlisle, she might be crashing!" A panicked voice startles me and still, I can't fight. Not anymore.

"Get her back to the house."

Momentarily, my vision clears, enough to know I'm among Cullens and Paul's friends again. I'm back where I was running from.

"She's struggling to breathe."

I need time to make some sense of all I've seen, to try and justify it as a latent hallucination from nearly drowning. It must be it, right? Supernatural doesn't exist. It can't be real.

"Her throat is swelling", Carlisle's voice is soothing. I sigh, closing my eyes in resignation.

"Go Jacob!" The familiar southern accent makes my heart jump and I try to open my eyes to see him again, but to no avail. Everything is fuzzy, I see nothing at all. My consciousness is floating through an empty space filled with a thick static. My heartbeats pound loudly, echoing in my ears, alongside fading pleas for help. Feeling in my body drains away until finally all is black.

3rd person POV

Arms folded on his chest, Jasper remained leaned against the tree where Aurora was found. He cannot make himself go to her, anywhere close to her while she's bleeding and in pain. Jasper needed her to be safe and she is safe with his family, but he doesn't feel she's safe with him around.

He's staring at the blood spilled from her veins beneath his feet, the sweet smell addictive and inviting. A part of him is tearing to the surface in hope of tasting, just a single drop, but another part of him is just as feral but for a good cause. That part of him wants to feel the burn of his desire to feed until he remembers that losing her would be a far worse pain.

"You should be there with her." Edward speaks, arriving to comfort Jasper who could comfort anyone but himself. What a curse his gift is. He had fallen farther than Edward ever saw him fall before. There is no light in his black eyes, his grief is evident and his thoughts are heavy enough to make anyone depressed.

"She's going to want you there." Edward tries, but Jasper scoffs.

"I'm the reason she's in this mess." Fixing his rage on Edward, Jasper turns to him. "I am why she ran! I felt her fear and I felt the terror in her when we found her! I should have just left her on the beach and ran!"

"Didn't she choose to come with you?" Edward challenges, "Isn't a choice all we can truly offer them?" Not too long ago, Edward only had a choice to offer to his own mate and he knows the difficulties of a mate bond with a human and still, it was worth it in the end. Edward had no doubt about it.

"She wouldn't choose it if she knew what she chose." Jasper groans, punching a hole in the tree he was leaning on.

"We need to find a way to cover her scent. Even I'm having a hard time with it." Edward looks to the blood infusing the ground with weary eyes and a somber mood. Perhaps it's coming from Jasper, unintentionally sharing his own emotions.

Growling under his breath, Jasper steps closer to Edward, making him scoff.

"I'm not planning on repaying the favor for Bella." Furrowing his eyebrows, he looks at his brother relaxing a little with the statement. It was meant to be a joke, but Jasper clearly doesn't feel up for any jokes.

"Where is Paul?" Jasper leans down, thinking how to rid of the blood too.

"Beside her. Holding her hand. Carlisle injected her with corticosteroids to reduce the inflammation, something for the pain and dressed the wound."

Nodding, Jasper digs his hand in the ground, pulling out the dirt stained with her blood. "Maybe he would be good for her...If he doesn't phase and kill her first." Shaking his head, he pauses. He never felt weaker, more human than he did when he saw her paling, choking under the nomad's hand. He was enjoying torturing her to her last breath. Jasper regrets killing him so quickly, he should have suffered. "He's too dangerous for her. Out of all of them, she had to go and take the most temperamental one?"

"You can't force anything on her. I tried with Jacob and it backfired. Take it one day at a time, one problem at a time. Like this blood." Edward grabs some of the dirt with his hands too, "Let's toss it in the ocean and hide her scent. If other vampires smell it, they'll come looking for her and we can't let that happen."

"I'll help", Emmett joins, already digging out soil, "She's family as far as I'm concerned."

"It's been a day", Rosalie appears, digging her hands into the dirt as well - reluctantly. "Edward had the decency of spending a month with Bella before imposing her on us."

"A mate is a mate", Bella stops beside Jasper, a sympathetic smile on her lips. "And yours will be just fine. She's a fighter."

"She'll be fine." Alice comes too, giving Jasper reassurance he needed.

Nodding, he looks around at his family holding hands full of dirt soaked in blood and none of them are even flinching. He's not flinching either. They did this once with Bella, they're more prepared now and if they are so willing to protect Aurora, to keep her around, Jasper is too. He knows he can't just push her away and hope everything turns out fine. It doesn't work that way - it didn't work that way for Bella and Edward. He can't fight it, he doesn't want to.

But Paul has decided the same, unbeknownst to Jasper. He could care less about mate bonds and what that might entail. Aurora and he share a connection he never shared with anyone but his imprint and that wasn't his choice. Aurora is more than a one night stand or a rich benefactor willing to help the school in La Push. She's worth the fight.

"You managed to shift for her." Jacob notes, not hiding his surprise.

"It's not a big deal." Paul grumbles, keeping his hand in hers. He hoped she could feel his warmth. Maybe it would comfort her.

"It's a huge deal." Jacob shrugs, "But you can pretend otherwise. You've never been able to shift in these situations, yet you're here with her."

Rolling his eyes, Paul turns sideways to throw Jacob a glare. "It's been ten years, Jacob. I'm not the angry teenager I used to be."

"No, but you are the only one who still can't control his phasing. You and I both know that you managed to control it to be in this room, to be there when she wakes up. You care about her." Jacob walks closer, holding out a beer for Paul. "Rachel couldn't help you calm down enough and she was your imprint. So, this brings up questions."

"Rachel couldn't help me because she never gave a fuck about me." Paul snaps, spitting as his disgust fuels his words. "I was willing to do anything for her and she still cheated and left me for another. Aurora was willing to do everything for me and I fucked up because my imprint decided to be jealous for the night and pull me away."

"I'm not saying what she did wasn't fucked up, but you chose to leave without explanations. Aurora was deeply hurt because you chose to hurt her." Jacob retorts as he takes a seat beside Paul. They never saw eye to eye, but Jacob will always see Paul as his brother. He could never leave him when he's suffering.

"I know, but how does one tell a girl of wolves and vampires and an imprint I will always have to prioritize?"

"Well, cat's out of the bag now, so you might as well explain everything to her. If you don't, Jasper will fill all those pesky holes in the story and you might end up on the short end of the stick." Jacob turns to the door, making sure no one's there. "You have to be honest and ask for forgiveness."

"And if it doesn't work?"

Licking his lips, Jacob lifts his eyebrows, "Jasper will win."

"He'll kill her." Paul frowns, trying to keep himself calm because the thought of his Aurora ever being touched by that vampire made his blood boil. She's his.

"Worse. He'll turn her into one of them."

Pressing his lips in a thin line, Paul exhales loudly through his nose. "I won't let him."

[edendaphne]

“Discordant Sonata”Ch. 6

I finally finished this chapter!!!

Read it here on Ao3

Read it here on Wattpad

CHAPTER 6: SOLO

(Mood Music: Sergei Prokofiev - Romeo and Juliet: Dance of the Knights)

“YOU’LL REGRET THIS, CHLOE BOURGEOIS!!” the monster bellowed, angrily stomping down the street adjacent to the park where Adrien, Marinette, Nino, and Alya had been picnicking together. In the mayhem that began with the appearance of the akuma, he'd lost track of Marinette.

His head whipped in all directions looking for her, struggling to stay calm as he and Alya carried an injured Nino, rushing away from the conflict. Nino’s leg had been crushed under the falling rubble of a gazebo that they’d been hiding behind. The akumatized person had destroyed it as he zoomed through the park, trampling everything in his way while Ladybug tried to stop him from reaching the Grand Paris Hotel, where Chloe was no doubt hunkering down.

Adrien tried to bury away the memory of his best friend trapped under the debris, screaming in agony, face twisted in pain, and yet imploring, begging them to run and leave him behind; Alya’s shrieking, frantic and distraught, on the verge of hysteria. Right now he needed to focus and get his friends to safety.

Nino grunted in pain but declared optimistically, “It’s alright, guys. Ladybug’s gonna beat that guy and fix everything.” He lowered his head slightly so it would be level with his girlfriend’s and tried to reassure her, “I’ll be okay, Alya, don’t worry.”

Alya replied, still teary and shaken, “But she’s bleeding and I think I saw her running with a limp! I’ve never seen an akuma like this before… And what if Chat Noir shows up?!”

Adrien felt his stomach drop at the mention of Chat Noir. It always made him uncomfortable when he heard other people talk about his alter ego.

“I don’t know if she’d be able to handle both!” Alya continued, glancing over her shoulder at the battling duo. “If only there was some way for us to help.”

Nino stammered, unsure of how to comfort her. “I-- umm…”

“Let’s just focus on getting Nino out of here,” Adrien interrupted. “Ladybug’s tough, she can handle herself.”

...I hope.

Adrien’s mind went back to Marinette and his eyes darted around to resume his search.

“Guys, I’m really worried about Marinette. Where could she be?” he asked the pair. “I searched the gazebo to make sure she wasn’t trapped underneath, but what if something else happened to her?”

“I heard her yell that she was gonna go get help,” Nino replied quizzically. “But I was too distracted by the akuma, so I’m not sure where she ran off to.”

Alya shrugged with her unoccupied shoulder. “It’s okay, Adrien, this happens all the time during akuma attacks. With her luck she probably got stuck in a bathroom stall or something while trying to hide.” More quietly, she added, “Still... let’s keep our eyes peeled. That girl has a penchant for trouble sometimes. I’m sure we’ll find her where we least expect it.”

Just then, they caught a flash of red as Ladybug crashed into the building next to them, smashing through the large glass window of the café.

“Ladybug!!” Adrien cried in horror.

The heroine laboured to her feet, groaning and clutching her head. Debris and glass shards clinked and rolled off her frame as she rose and dusted herself off.

Adrien cringed. For the most part the suit protected her body, but she had several cuts on her face from the glass as well as a nasty bruise developing above one of her eyebrows. He couldn’t help but merely stand there and watch, frozen and breathless.

“Oh my God, are you alright?!” Alya exclaimed.

Upon seeing the three of them, Ladybug quickly straightened up, saluted them cheerfully and called back, “I’m okay!!” She did a double take upon seeing them holding up Nino. “Nino, are you alright??”

His head bobbed up and down and gave her a thumbs up. “Go get ‘em, LB!”

She gave him a fond smile. “Get yourselves to safety, I’ll draw him away from you!” She began to dash away, running after the akuma once again.

Snapping out of his stupor, Adrien called quickly, “Ladybug!”

She stopped and looked back at him questioningly. He faltered for a moment, trying desperately to untie his tongue.

“Be careful,” he finally said in a low voice.

Ladybug’s expression softened and she smiled at him. “Thanks, Adrien. I will.”

Adrien’s eyes lingered on her as she left. She didn’t seem like she was really okay, but merely putting on a brave and confident face for their sake.

His stomach churned unpleasantly. “Come on, let’s find you some shelter,” he muttered uneasily as he began walking again, dragging Nino along.

About a dozen meters away the akuma, a large, musclebound rugby player who’d taken on the appearance of a two-stories tall anthropomorphized rhinoceros in uniform, took an offensive stance and charged at Ladybug once again. She managed to somersault over him, but despite his size he was fast. He hurled his rugby ball at her as she landed, which she narrowly dodged. How could she forget about that ball?! Surely that was where the akuma was being held.

“I can help you!” Ladybug called out at the young man. “Whatever Chloe did, we can work through it together! You don’t have to do this!”

He roared in return. “I’m gonna destroy her! She humiliated me! You have NO idea what it’s like to be friendzoned!!”

Ladybug’s expression instantly fell into one of exasperated annoyance. “Seriously?!”

She dove to the side, spinning her yoyo to fling it at him. It managed to wrap around his legs. She tugged the string forcefully and the huge monster toppled over like a building. The loud crash boomed across several blocks and shook the ground.

She walked towards the akuma and huffed, “Chloe owes you nothing and you are being an entitled jerk for not respecting her rejection!”

Twisting his face in anger, he bellowed, “That shallow witch deserves no respect from me!”

“Everyone deserves respect!” Ladybug countered, keeping the string taut.

“But WHYYY?! Why would she reject me? I’m a nice guy!” The akuma stomped its feet like a petulant child as and preceded to throw a tantrum that rivaled Chloe on her worst days. “Sluts like her only go for the bad boys!” he whined, kicking the nearest car.

“Wow wow wow, you need to stop talking right now before I barf!!” she sputtered incredulously as she tugged. “You’re acting like a total creep and odds are that you make her extremely uncomfortable!”

“I’ll show YOU ‘uncomfortable’!” he shouted, suddenly yanking on the yo-yo string and sending her flying towards him with a yelp. He pulled back and buried his fist in her stomach, knocking the air out of her lungs . She was thrown a short distance away, landing with a rough thud and kicking up bits of crumbling pavement.

The trio of friends watched from afar, agape. This is very bad , Adrien thought, feeling lightheaded and nauseous.

Groaning and coughing, Ladybug struggled to stand up, arms wobbling as she slowly raised herself. Meanwhile, Reaver, as he called himself, had untangled himself from the yo-yo and stomped towards her.

Ladybug sprinted towards him and leaped over his fist as he swung at her again, then dove past him to retrieve her yo-yo. She summoned her Lucky Charm, receiving a bottle of cooking oil, which she eyed skeptically.

Before she could figure out a plan, however, the gigantic beast leaped towards her faster than she’d ever seen him move.

She didn’t have time to dodge.

With a loud cry he struck Ladybug with an overhead punch, striking her down once more. The Lucky Charm was knocked out of her hand, much too far for her to reach. She sprawled on the ground groaning weakly, trying to force herself up.

But Reaver never gave her the chance. He clasped his hands together and smashed his fists downward. With speed uncharacteristic for someone of his size, he hit her again, and again, and again. Pavement cracked and crumbled beneath her from tremendous force of his hits and somewhere amid the blows, Ladybug lost consciousness.

Adrien couldn't think. Couldn't breathe. Couldn't bear to witness the utterly horrific way this sweet and giving girl was being pummelled.

She didn’t deserve this. It couldn’t end like this. A flood of images flashed through his mind, of her kind gestures and brilliant smile. Her gentle touches and comforting embraces, her thoughtfulness and concern over his wellbeing, not just for his civilian side, but for the side that was supposed to be her enemy. She was truly a beautiful person, both inside and out. The desire he felt - or rather- the need to protect her was almost painful and overwhelming.

If she died, he felt like a large part of him would die with her.

He let go of Nino and sprinted towards them with but a single thought reverberating in his head: I have to save her.

Before the monster’s fists could connect yet again, Adrien dove to where Ladybug lay unmoving and managed to roll them both out of the way. He scrambled to his feet, scooping her up swiftly, praying to any possible existing deity that she’d still be alive.

Then, unexpectedly, Adrien turned to face the akuma and shouted at the top of his lungs, “THAT’S ENOUGH, DAMN IT!!”

For a few moments the akuma faltered and his features scrunched in confusion. Then he frowned, raising his fist to strike again. Before he did, however, the familiar glowing butterfly-shaped mask appeared in front of his eyes. While the akuma argued with Hawkmoth, who was no doubt both bewildered and enraged at what had just occurred, Adrien bolted down the street cradling Ladybug in his arms. His heart wrenched in anguish as he held her close; her limp body felt so incredibly small and frail.

He had never been this terrified.

Adrien finally reached Nino and Alya and lay the battered girl on the grass between them. She was deathly still, blood bright red against pale skin. He quickly removed his sweater and rolled it up to place it under her head. Alya rushed to Ladybug’s side with Nino following suit, albeit crawling. At the sight of the beloved hero of Paris up close and observing the wretched condition she was in, a despondent Alya began to sob into Nino’s arms. Ladybug was Alya’s friend, Adrien remembered. They’d known each other for years and, of course, Alya ran the Ladyblog, which in recent years she’d been using as a sort of general helpline for all things Hawkmoth and akuma-related.

Fighting panic, Adrien tightly grasped Ladybug’s gloved hand and examined her for signs of life. With his other hand he reached for the pulse point on her neck, but then realized that he might not be able to feel it through her suit. Changing his approach, he hunched his body over hers, lowering his head so his face was lightly touching hers and waited, silent.

A few seconds passed. Finally, he felt her breathing on his cheek, shallow but steady.

He let out a large breath he didn’t realize he was holding and whispered, almost giddy, “She’s alive.” Alya and Nino gasped in relief and hugged each other.

Adrien stroked the top of her head slowly and cooed, “Ladybug, wake up, please, wake up.”

“We need to get her to the hospital,” Alya said.

“But would they even be able to help her?” Nino rushed, his voice breaking in panic. “She’s a superhero. Didn’t you see the hospital scene in ‘Superman Returns’ where they couldn’t even get an IV into his arm because of his superpowers? What if the same thing happens?”

“Nino!” Alya chided.

“No, he’s right,” Ladybug interjected, voice hoarse and gravelly.

“Ladybug!” the three of them cried and huddled around her.

Her eyes fluttered open, pupils struggling to focus. “Magic alters your body drastically. Regular medicine won’t help.”

“So what do we do then? We can’t just sit here and do nothing!” Alya countered.

Adrien looked back at the monster. The seemingly one-sided argument between the akuma and Hawkmoth got louder, and Reaver was quickly getting more and more irritated. Adrien wasn’t sure whether his father was trying to persuade the monster to leave them alone, or whether he was trying to convince him to go after them. At this point, Adrien realized that he honestly had no clue if his father would care if he got hurt in the process.

“We don’t have much time,” Ladybug replied weakly, getting his attention again. “The only thing that can fix everything is purifying the akuma and using the Ladybug Cure.”

She started to sit up, then let out a loud, pained yelp while clutching her side. Her breathing became more labored, as if her chest was being squeezed.

Adrien could swear he felt his stomach try to jump out of his body. “Ladybug, please, don't move! You're wounded!"

She waved it off as she continued to try to sit up. “I’m fine, it’s just a couple of bumps and scratches.”

When she was almost upright she cried out in agony and fell backwards, involuntary tears beginning to prick at her eyes.

“No, don’t! Your ribs might be broken, you could puncture a lung!” Adrien implored.

“I have to, there’s no other way!” she cried desperately, about to attempt to get up again.

Adrien gently but firmly tried to ease her back down and argued, “If you keep this up, he’ll kill you!”

She pushed back weakly as she struggled to keep her breaths even, “What choice do I have?! I’m the only one who can stop him!” Adrien stilled. She looked up at him, eyes shining, and with a desperate tremble in her voice she whispered, “There's no one else. Just me. I need to do this.”

Adrien stared back, astonished. He knew she was right. There was literally no one else in the world who could do what she did. Without her, not only would the akumatized victims hurt or kill innocent people, but it might not be possible to restore everything to the way it was originally, and all the damage, injuries, and casualties would become permanent. To her, defeat was simply never an option, and it never had been from the moment she took up the mantle of Ladybug.

Suddenly, just as he’d been dreading all along, he felt the ground shake and heard the giant stomping across the street towards them. Adrien bit his lip in trepidation and unconsciously squeezed Ladybug’s hand even tighter.

By now, his father was well aware that Adrien had developed a soft spot for their enemy; of that Adrien was certain. Gabriel was many things, but oblivious wasn’t one of them. Whether Gabriel believed that it was the same concern that Adrien held for innocent civilians, or whether he suspected it was something more, he had no idea.

Adrien knew that only two options were available to him from his current situation.

He could allow the akuma to forcibly remove Ladybug’s earrings; due to her extensive injuries, she wouldn’t be able to put up much resistance and would most likely survive… maybe.

Or... he could remove the earrings himself and hand them over to the akuma, thus sparing her from any further harm.

He didn’t even have to think about what he would do. To Adrien the choice was clear.

He slowly lifted his free hand towards Ladybug’s face and rested it on her jaw, tenderly stroking her cheek. She gasped slightly at the contact and couldn’t help but blush slightly, even at this time, which he found much too adorable. Adrien had to resist the urge to rub his thumb over her mouth to wipe at a small cut on her lower lip. She held his gaze, her vivid cerulean eyes glistening in the sunlight, still so innocent and hopeful despite years of strife and hardship. He smiled despite himself. Even in her current state, disheveled, covered in grime, cuts, and bruises, she was stunningly beautiful.

Tucking some stray locks of hair behind her ear, Adrien gave her hand one last squeeze and said to her softly, “You don’t have to do this alone.”

Abruptly, he stood up and turned away from the group.

“Stay here and keep Ladybug with you,” he addressed Nino and Alya. “Don’t let anything happen to her.”

Then he ran.

[the-desolated-quill]

The Quill Seal Of Approval Awards - The Best of 2018

Hello and welcome, dear reader, to the greatest, most important awards ceremony in the history of entertainment. The Quill Seal Of Approval Awards. The award of recognition that everyone on Earth covets even though they don’t know it. For the Quill Seal Of Approval is a most esteemed prize for hard work and artistry. Better than the Golden Globes, more prestigious than the BAFTAs and guaranteed to be more diverse than the Academy Awards. You know your film, novel, TV show or video game has achieved legendary status when some random nobody on the internet says it’s the best in some obscure top 10 list that’s read by only a couple of people. That’s the true sign of success.

First, a few parish notices. Obviously this is my subjective opinion, so if you disagree with my choices, that’s fine. Go make your own list. (also remember that my opinion is 100% objective, scientific, factual and literal truth and anyone who disagrees is clearly a philistine and a dummy and a poopy-head whose mum smells of elderberries). Also please bear in mind that I haven’t been able to experience everything 2018 has to offer for one reason or another. In other words, please don’t be upset that A Star Is Born isn’t on this list. I’m sure it’s as amazing as everyone says it is. I just never got around to watching it.

Okay. Let us begin.

Inside No. 9 - Series 4

BBC2′s Inside No. 9, written by the League of Gentlemen’s Steve Pemberton and Reece Shearsmith, is an anthology series that’s often sadly overlooked, but it’s really worth a watch if you’re into shows like Black Mirror and The Twilight Zone, and this series in particular has been fantastic. We’ve had an episode written entirely in iambic pentameter, an episode whose chronology runs backwards, a live episode that really plays around with the format, episodes containing tragic and biting satire, and one especially twisted episode that brings out a side of Steve Pemberton we’ve never seen before. Series 4 has been a real treat from start to finish, with each episode beautifully written and expertly performed. Inside No. 9 deserves to share the same pedestal as Black Mirror, no question.

Black Panther

I’m sure everyone knows about my less than flattering views on the Marvel Cinematic Universe by now, which is what made Black Panther such a breath of fresh air for me. Stripping away all the convoluted crap, Black Panther has often been compared to The Dark Knight, and for good reason. Like The Dark Knight, this movie uses the superhero genre to tackle real social and political issues. In Black Panther’s case, exploring just what it means to be black in the modern world. Boasting an impressive cast of black actors, strong female characters, an engaging and complex antagonist, fantastic special effects and truly excellent direction from Ryan Coogler, Black Panther represents a new benchmark for Marvel, the superhero genre and the film industry in general. It proves how important and how lucrative diversity and representation in media can be, and it unintentionally shows how flawed the Marvel business model has become. The reason behind Black Panther’s success is simple. It’s because it’s bloody brilliant. And the reason it’s bloody brilliant is because Coogler was allowed to realise his own creative vision without Kevin Feige and Mickey Mouse breathing down his neck. Perhaps they should take note of that in future.

Deadpool 2

Of course Deadpool 2 is going to be on this list. Are you really surprised?

The Merc with the Mouth goes from strength to strength in the rare instance where the sequel is actually as good as, if not better than, the original. The first Deadpool was a great origin story for the character, but Deadpool 2 felt like an adventure ripped straight from the comics themselves. Crass, ultra violent and hysterically funny, Deadpool 2 is the crowning jewel of the X-Men franchise. Fan favourites such as Negasonic Teenage Warhead and Colossus return as well as new characters such as Domino, played by the exceptional Zazie Beetz, Cable, played by the astounding Josh Brolin, and Firefist, played by Julian Dennison who deserves all the success in the world because good God this kid can act!

But of course the star of the film is Deadpool himself with Ryan Reynolds once again proving beyond a shadow of a doubt that he understands this character back to front. Not only is he hysterically funny, capturing the character’s irreverent tone perfectly, he also absolutely nails the tragic underpinnings of Deadpool that make him such a wonderful character. In between the f-bombs and gore are moments of real drama and emotional pathos as the film tackles themes such as loss, discrimination, abuse and suicidal depression. All this whilst taking the piss out of 2017′s Logan. 

Oh yeah, and it also features the first openly LGBT superheroes in cinematic history. Fuck you Disney! NegaYukio and Poololosus for the win! LOL! No, but seriously, now that you have the rights to X-Men back, if you try and censor Deadpool in any way, shape or form, I will kick your arse.

God Of War (2018)

“BOY!”

Yes Kratos is back, having successfully destroyed the world of Greek mythology and now has his eyes on the Norse Gods. And he has a son now. What could possibly go wrong?

Seriously though, this new God Of War is simply exquisite. While I have long admired the God Of War franchise for its interpretation and adaptation of Greek mythology, the previous games in the series have never exactly been the most sophisticated when it comes to storytelling (and the less said about the casual sexism, the better. Yes Sony, I promise I understand the thematic reasons behind playing a minigame that allows you to have sex with Aphrodite in God Of War 3, but it still doesn’t change the fact that it’s sexist as shit). God Of War 2018 changes all that with an intelligent and engaging story that allows us understand and connect with Kratos at a more personal level than we’ve ever done before. Taking place years after God Of War 3, Kratos is older, wiser and trying to raise his son Atreus in the hopes that he won’t make the same mistakes Kratos did in his past. Not only is the story amazing, continuing the franchise’s themes of vengeance and the strained relationships between parents and their children, the gameplay is also a ton of fun with many memorable moments and boss fights.

And as an added bonus, we get two strong female characters that aren’t treated like discardable sex objects. That was nice of them.

Incredibles 2

The long awaited sequel to The Incredibles finally arrived in 2018 and it did not disappoint. Incredibles 2 was everything I could have wanted and more. Continuing on from the events of the first movie, we see Elastigirl take the spotlight as she fights the Screenslaver whilst trying to persuade the worlds’ governments to lift the ban on superheroes. Meanwhile Mr. Incredible takes a back seat as he tries to reconnect with his kids Violet, Dash and Jack-Jack and prove he can be a good, supportive dad. 

Continuing to draw inspiration from Fantastic Four, X-Men and Watchmen, Incredibles 2 is... well... incredible. Expanding the world he created, Brad Bird tells a smart, funny and compelling story that stands head and shoulders above the majority of superhero movie fodder we get nowadays. Elastigirl flourishes in the lead role this time around and the kids get a lot more development, the Screenslaver is a great villain that compliments the themes of the franchise wonderfully, and we get to see a whole bunch of new characters such as Voyd and the Deavor siblings as well as the return of old favourites like Frozone and Edna Mode. 

Honestly, the baby alone is worth the price of admission. Hopefully we won’t have to wait another fourteen years for Incredibles 3.

Marvel’s Spider-Man

Marvel’s Spider-Man is an amazing game. But of course you knew that already. It’s made by Insomniac Games, the same guys behind Ratchet & Clank. Of course it was going to be brilliant.

Simply put, this game does for Spider-Man what the Arkham games did for Batman. Not only is it a great game with brilliant combat and fun web swinging mechanics, it also has a great story worthy of the wall crawler. Unlike the movies, which seem to continuously yank Peter Parker back into high school with each new reboot as those the poor bastard were attached to the fucker on a bungee rope, this Spidey has been fighting crime for eight years. With great power comes many responsibilities as we see him struggle to juggle crime fighting, his new job as a scientist, his commitments to helping Aunt May at the F.E.A.S.T shelter and trying to win his ex Mary Jane Watson back after a six month split. It’s a brilliant story featuring many classic villains such as Shocker and Electro as well as lesser known villains like Screwball and the criminally underrated Mister Negative who finally gets to be the central antagonist in a Spider-Man adaptation. It’s fun to play, engaging, dramatic and really emotional at points. I cried real tears at the end. What a punch to the gut that was.

OOOOOH! And we might be getting to play as Miles Morales in the sequel! I sure hope so! :D

The Grinch

At this point I imagine many of you are scratching your heads. 

“Really Quill? The Grinch? Illumination’s The Grinch? This deserves the Quill Seal Of Approval? Are you sure?” Yes dear reader, I’m absolutely sure. Just hear me out.

It’s true that the majority of Dr Seuss adaptations are shit. While the live action version of the Grinch starring Jim Carrey has a cult following and is fondly remembered by some, it’s still pretty crap, and even Illumination themselves screwed up royally with their adaptation of The Lorax. But this new Grinch is truly excellent. For starters, the animation is gorgeous. This is clearly the format that works best for Seuss movies. Benedict Cumberbatch does a really good job voicing the character, giving him depth and complexity beyond just being a big old meanie. The film also has something no other Seuss film has ever had before. Subtlety. Illumination have clearly learned their lesson after The Lorax. They’re no longer bashing you over the head with a moral message. They’re not trying to over-complicate a simple story by adding pointless sub-plot after pointless sub-plot. In fact the bits they do add actually feed into the main core of the narrative, as opposed to The Lorax, which just confused things. And while there are cute Minion-esque sidekicks like there are in a lot of Illumination films, The Grinch limits it to two (Max the dog and a reindeer named Fred), they’re both legitimately funny, serve an important narrative purpose and don’t distract from the more serious and emotional moments.

In all honesty, I was debating between giving the Quill Seal of Approval to The Grinch or to Bumblebee (the first legitimately good Transformers movie), but I decided to go with The Grinch because of how it handles the character and the story’s message. A lot of people scoffed at the idea of giving the Grinch a back story (and to the film’s credit they don’t force the issue or over-explain where the Grinch came from) but it’s honestly what makes this new adaptation of The Grinch so special to me. He’s gone from being a Scrooge-like monster to an anxiety filled misanthrope who associates Christmas with being alone. It may sound like a jarring change on paper, but in practice it honestly works so well and adds a whole new dimension to the Grinch. It’s treated with absolute care and sincerity and the film really earns its emotional moments, particularly at the end when we see the Grinch sit down to have Christmas dinner with the Whos.

If you haven’t already, I highly recommend you give this new Grinch a chance. You might be pleasantly surprised :)

Doctor Who - Series 11

A woman?! In the TARDIS?! How absurd!

Jodie Whittaker made history as the first woman to play the Doctor and the new series doesn’t disappoint. Whittaker is predictably brilliant in the role, giving the character compassion, charm and wit. We also get a new bunch of companions (including the always brilliant Bradley Walsh as Graham) who all have some great moments in Series 11 and the relationships they form with each other is incredibly touching and fun to watch. But the writing, my God, the writing. Admittedly not every episode has been perfect, but it’s leagues above anything Moffat has given us during his disastrous reign. The majority of Series 11 has been well written and intelligent, tackling important and relevant social issues (something Doctor Who has always been doing and anyone who says otherwise is an idiot) and focusing on likeable and relatable characters rather than convoluted series arcs. We got to meet Rosa Parks, witness the partition of India, and ponder on the dangers of automation whilst the Doctor tries to save the world from bubble wrap. Oh, and the Daleks are scary again! I know! I couldn’t believe it either!

What makes this all the more remarkable is who the showrunner is. Chris Chibnall. A writer I’ve often criticised in the past for being derivative and shit, and yet somehow he’s managed to create some of the best Doctor Who I’ve seen in a long time. Not only has his writing improved dramatically since his Torchwood days, he’s also demonstrated a commitment to having diverse representation both in front of and behind the camera as well as in the scripts themselves. For the first time in what feels like an age, Doctor Who feels like Doctor Who again, and I’m ecstatically happy.

Spider-Man: Into The Spider-Verse

How come we don’t see many animated superhero movies in the cinema? Considering the medium from which superheroes came from, you’d think it would be a no-brainer. Presumably it’s because Disney have got such a strangle hold on the animation market, but that’s hopefully going to change thanks to Spider-Man: Into The Spider-Verse (or, Sony’s Repentance for The Emoji Movie).

Let’s get the obvious out of the way. The animation is gorgeous. It’s pretty much an animated comic book and it stands out as one of the most unique looking animated films in recent memory. Spider-Verse is essentially a love letter to the legacy of Spider-Man as we see multiple different versions of Spidey, including Spider-Gwen, Spider-Ham and Nicholas Cage as Ghost Rider cosplaying as Spider-Man Noir, demonstrating not only the sheer variety of Spider-Men we’ve had over the years, but also exploring what connects them together. With all these different interpretations across many different universes, the idea of Spider-Man comes to the same thing. An ordinary person who experiences tragedy and becomes something greater. It’s hopeful and inspirational in a way Spider-Man films hasn’t been for a while now (Spider-Man: Homecoming sucked donkey balls. Period).

But let’s not forget that while the film explores the Spider-Verse, the main focus is Miles Morales who finally makes his cinematic debut. Not only is it a very faithful adaptation of Ultimate Spider-Man’s origin story, Miles himself is such a great central character for the modern age and arguably has more relevance to today than Peter Parker does. The characters are funny and relatable and the story is expertly crafted and impactful. But then what do you expect from the writers and directors of The Lego Movie? (if only Disney hadn’t interfered with Solo: A Star Wars Story. We could have had it all).

Mowgli: Legend Of The Jungle

This one kind of snuck up on me toward the end of December, but I knew the moment I saw it I had to include it on this list.

Mowgli: Legend Of The Jungle is an adaptation of The Jungle Book with Andy Serkis making his directorial debut. Yes the same guy who did the motion capture for Gollum in Lord Of The Rings and Caesar in the rebooted Planet Of The Apes movies and who totes deserves an Oscar for Best Actor (fuck you Academy Awards!), and he brings this same motion capture technology to this film. Unlike Disney’s Jungle Book, which merely rehashes the original animated film whilst somehow stripping all the charm from it, Mowgli sticks closer to the original Rudyard Kipling book. This isn’t a cheery musical. This film is often dark and intense as we see Mowgli (played wonderfully by Rohan Chand) struggle to find his place in the world. He knows he doesn’t belong with the animals in the jungle, but he doesn’t really fit in with the world of man neither. It’s an emotional and dramatic character piece brought to life by great writing, great acting and stunning special effects. 

Andy Serkis has expressed a desire to do an adaptation of George Orwell’s Animal Farm, and after watching this movie, I would love to see that. If you haven’t already, go watch Mowgli: Legend Of The Jungle. It’s available to stream on Netflix and it’s truly amazing.

And that’s it for 2018. Congratulations to the winners of this year’s Quill Seal Of Approval Awards. Unfortunately we’re on a limited budget here on The Desolated Quill, so I can’t offer any sort of trophy or medal or anything. What I can do though is write the words ‘I’m an awesome cookie’ on a post-it note and stick it on your forehead. Will that do?

[isabeaudargyll]

Arrogance: The Order 1886 fanfic

While traveling, Sebastien tells Isabeau and Lafayette a story from Grayson's youth.

also on ao3

London was still a day’s ride away when the storm hit. Rather than set up camp and sleep miserably outside, they took shelter in a pub. Together they claimed a table, and ordered some drinks to scare away the chill from their bones.

“It’ll be nice to be indoors tonight,” said Grayson as Sebastien sat down next to him with everyone’s drinks. “I hate sleeping on the hard ground.”

“Well I personally like our excursions outside the city,” said Isabeau, taking a sip from her mug. It’s nice to get out of the city every now and then.”

“Yes if by nice you mean having a sore back the whole time,” he muttered.

“Is that why you needed the Marquis’ help taking down a little lycan?” Isabeau giggled. “Sounds like someone’s getting old.”

“Older than me perhaps,” said Sebastien, patting Grayson on the back.

“I wasn’t aware that complaining meant I was an old man,” retorted Grayson. “Might I remind you that I saved all of you from that elder yesterday. This is the thanks I get.”

“Always such a downer, monsieur,” Lafayette chuckled, then he turned to Sebastien. “Was he always like this, mon generale?”

Sebastien snorted, “I thought he wasn’t going to last a year as a knight. So arrogant.”

“Really? Impossible!”

“Sounds like there’s a story or two. Tell us about young Grayson,” said Isabeau as she leaned forward in her seat.

“Hmm, let’s see if I can remember,” muttered Sebastien, scratching his beard. “Oh, here’s a story. Back when Grayson had just joined the order. He’d barely been my apprentice for a week.

----

“You need dodge faster,” yelled Sebastien as Grayson’s tunic was nicked by his opponent's blade.

Grayson retaliated by a quick strike aimed at the head, which was quickly deflected. The air rush out of his lungs as he was kicked in the stomach. He stumbled and fell backwards onto the dirt. His opponent pointed the tip of his sword at Grayson’s neck and looked at him with a smirk.

“Alright, that’s enough, Sir Gawain. Thank you,” said Sebastien as he walked over to Grayson.

The knight bowed and left. Sebastien reached down to help Grayson up, but was waved away by the young man who jumped up.

“I don’t see the point of these exercises,” Grayson complained as he brushed dirt off of his clothes. “I’ve already trained to fight people before I signed up.”

“Not very well, as far as I’m concerned. You need to be more strategic while you fight,” Sebastien lectured. “You’ll be easier to beat if you don’t put any thought into your actions, as we saw with your fight against Sir Gawain.”

“Not that it even matters. I thought we were supposed to be fighting half breeds, not other people!”

“It’s the same principles, Grayson. Man or beast, makes no difference.”

“Then let me fight some lycans! Let me show you what I can do!”

“No. You’re not ready. Get some rest and you’ll fight against Gawain again.” Sebastien turned away, then felt the sharpness of Grayson’s blade poking him in the back.

“Let me prove to you that I’m good enough,” said Grayson. Sebastien turned back around and looked at Grayson holding his sword up high and wearing a smirk on his face.

Sebastien sighed and unsheathed his sword. “Fine, but I warn you now. There’s a reason you fight Gawain and not me.”

Grayson struck first, a blow that Sebastien easily blocked and deflected. He walked around Grayson as his apprentice continued to attack him but unable to land a good hit on him.

“Your footwork is good. Seems they trained you right on somethings,” Sebastien noted as Grayson tried to slash his stomach before blocking him.

“Shut up and fight back old man,” was all Grayson replied, panting as he continued to attack.

“Sounds like you’re getting tired,” mocked Sebastien. “Perhaps we should stop.”

Grayson responded with a grunt and aimed his sword at Sebastien’s head, not unlike what he did when he fought Gawain. Sebastien mirrored his fellow knight’s counter attack and punched him in the stomach, making Grayson stagger backwards.

“Remember what I said! Put thought into your actions.” Grayson swung at Sebastien again, and continued to do so as Sebastien blocked all of his moves. He remained calm, while his apprentice worked up a sweat, his face seemingly growing angrier with each passing minute.

“Patience is a virtue,” Sebastien reminded him. Grayson responded with an angry grunt and slashed at him. Sebastien blocked as he had before, but not before Grayson managed to hit his hip, nicking him and drawing some blood.

“Ha, Grayson panted.

“Don’t get overconfident,” said Sebastien sternly. He raised his sword and began to attack Grayson, who found himself quickly overwhelmed by the flurry of attacks sent his way. Grayson was attempting less attacks and found himself constantly dodging and blocking attacks, stepping backwards while Sebastien moved forwards.

“Something the matter? I thought you wanted me to fight back?” Sebastien taunted. Grayson grunted as he dodged another attack. He tried to quickly land a hit, but his master was too quick for him. “A little faster and that might have impressed me.”

The fighting continued, and Grayson began to lag in his counters. His movements grew sluggish, and his face seemed droopy as Sebastien continued to attack him. With one hard attack Sebastien was able to knock away the sword from Grayson’s hands. He pointed his sword at Grayson’s face and looked at him sternly.

“I moved quickly, but half breeds are even faster,” said Sebastien. “This is why I know you aren’t ready. Do you understand?” Grayson gulped and nodded slowly. Sebastien sheathed his sword. “Good. Now get some rest. You’re still fighting Gawain later.”

----

Lafayette and Isabeau both snorted with laughter while Grayson hid his face in his hands.

“You got your ass handed to you by Gawain and you honestly thought you could beat Sebastien?” Isabeau laughed.

“I told you. Very arrogant when he was fresh,” said Sebastien, taking a sip from his mug, “I’m glad he grew out of it.”

“I would’ve loved to have been there, just to see it,” said Lafayette. “You two should duel when we get back!”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” muttered Grayson, still hiding his face. “Sebastien might break his hip.”

Sebastien chuckled, “You say that because you know you still can’t beat me in a sword fight.”

Grayson sighed. “I’m being attacked.

“Oh yes, poor Grayson, the only victim here,” said Isabeau before she, Lafayette and Sebastien began to laugh again.

“I hate you all,” Grayson replied with a frown before downing his drink.

[nok-abadjuan]

Nokia Jade Crooks.

01 / BASICS

Full Name: Nokia Jade Crooks

Nickname(s): Nok, Kia, Kiki

Sex/Gender: Female

Birthday: September 27, 1998

Age: 18

Astrological sign: Aquarius

Occupation: Tattoo Artist

Spoken Languages: English

Sexual orientation: Bisexual

Birthplace: Tampa, Florida

Relationship status: In A Relationship

02/ PHYSICAL TRAITS

Race: White American, Black American

Ethnicity: Greek, Irish, African-American

Hair color/style: Black, curly naturally. Straightens it or wears it in curls or weaves.

Eye color: Dark Brown

Accent (if any): Southern Miami Accent, barely there

Height: 5″10

Weight: 150

Tattoos: Sleeve (flowers), wrist and hand (female)

Piercings: Ears, belly button

Unique attributes: High cheekbones, compared to Lauren London a lot

Defining gestures/movements: Pouts a lot

Posture: Regular

03 / PERSONALITY TRAITS

Pet peeves: Fake people, being lied to, being used, people who don’t cover their coughs or sneezes, people who don’t respect others opinions, weak ass niggas, copycats, passive aggressive people, people who can’t own up to anything, scaredy cats, when people tell you to do something as you're doing it, being betrayed

Hobbies/interests: Art, painting, drawing, walking around the mall, exploring places and things, hanging out, eating, watching youtube and going to the movies

Special skills/abilities: Very artistic but doesn’t really show it off, can do a split and back flip

Likes: Making friends, going out, laughing and being silly, cuddling, pumpkin spice lattes, baking desserts or pinning new ones from Pinterest, looking at herself in the mirror, looking at pretty women with nice bodies, going to sex store and buying sex toys to be goofy with and use, pranking, surprising people, reading conspiracy theories online, wikipedia is life, helping poor people

Dislikes: Being told what to do, being judged without being given a chance, sensing someone’s dislike for her or talking about her, people who talk about those less fortunate, being let down, fighting, arguing, not being given a chance, the dark, scary things like ghosts and monsters, scary movies,

Insecurities: Her weight, her shape, her hair, her past drug use and addictions, being easily controlled and persuaded to make others happy

Quirks/eccentricities: Dots her i’s with a heart, draws random doodles on any piece of paper in front of her, strongly dislikes the sound of chewing and hums a quiet song while eating, writes with left hand, but does everything else right-handed, loves to hug or touch on people

Strengths: Creative, love of learning, very wise and loving, really kind and sweet, cares about others, makes a great friend very loyal, forgives easily

Weaknesses: Gets in her feelings easily, very sensitive, gets her feelings hurt easily, easily irritated

Speaking style: Has kind of southern drawl, curses and says nasty things to be silly or funny, can be sometime ghetto in speech

Temperament: Bad temper, irritable, sensitive, emotional

04 / FAMILY & HOME

Family: Her father Gael and her mother Tammy do not get along. They hooked up the summer after senior year of high school when he broke up with his girlfriend and Tammy got pregnant. He went away for college with his girlfriend and eventually married her. He was barely in Nokia’s life and his wife now ex wife, forced him to stay out of Nokia’s life. She grew up with her white side of the family. Being the only dark one, she was picked on and set apart a lot. Her and her mother were kicked out her grandmother’s house and were homeless, lived in a woman’s shelter, then lived in a trailer with her mother’s boyfriend at 12, then they finally got their own 1 bedroom apartment. When she was 15/16 he took her mother to custody after his divorce and won custody over her because he had the money; being a surgeon. She moved to Miami to live with him and to live a better life, taking fun trips and having her own room.

How does (s)he feel about his/her family? She doesn’t like her maternal grandmother. She’s racist against blacks and thinks they’re dirty and did not forget to remind Nokia about herself and her father. She used to tell Tammy she was a slut for sleeping with a black man and having his baby. She called Nokia a porch monkey and little monkey. Called her a nigger whenever she was angry and drunk. Tammy and Nokia are close but they have their drifting moments. Nokia got her drug and alcohol habits from her mother. She used to buy her mother cigarettes and started stealing them to smoke with her friends. She started drinking alcohol because sometimes that was all there was in the house. They got high together a few times but Nokia got clean and her mother still struggles with her own addictions which she tries to hide but Nokia knows the truth. Nokia and Gael are now cooler than when she was younger and first moved in with him. She hated him because her grandmother filled her head with negative thoughts. She used to love when he came to see her or called her as a kid. She got older and realized he put his wife before her and hated him for it and the fact that she had to struggle growing up. They’re now in a better place because Nokia is learning how to forgive people and let things go.

How does his/her family feel about him/her? Her mother depends a lot on her. Since they kind of grew up together, being that she was young herself when she had her; they’re like sisters. Nokia’s father tries to do everything to keep her happy but shows his disappointment when she’s not happy with her. They both love her and she’s the only reason they’d ever come together but she never has asked them to, so they don’t see each other. They haven’t been in the same room in years.

Pets: None.

Where does (s)he live? Her father helped her get a small place but she’s breaking her lease because her boyfriend wants her to move in, so she’s living with him now in a really nice townhouse.

What is it like there? Enough rooms, beautiful from the outside, not much going on. Very calm atmosphere, quiet neighborhood.

Description of his/her home: Modern Townhouse.

Description of his/her bedroom: She sleeps in her boyfriend’s bedroom. Is moving in new furniture and they’re changing the decoration to be more neutral and sexy for the both of them.

05/ THIS OR THAT

Introvert or extrovert? Ambivert

Optimist or pessimist? Realist

Leader or follower? Depends on the situation

Confident or self-conscious? Self-Conscious

Cautious or careless? Careless

Religious or secular? Secular for the most part

Passionate or apathetic? Passionate

Book smarts or street smarts? Street Smarts

Compliments or insults? Compliments

Pajamas or lingerie? Pajamas

06 / FAVORITES

Favorite color: Black, Lavender, Lilac

Favorite clothing style/outfit: Tshirts, shorts, pants, sweatpants, dresses, heels, sneakers, flats. Has a girly but boyish style.

Favorite bands/songs/type of music: Yellowcard, Linkin Park, Paramore, Green Day, No Doubt, Gwen Stefani, Bob Marley, The Wailers, Peter Tosh, Shaggy, Destiny’s Child, Jodeci, TLC, Dru Hill, Xscape, B2K ,The Supremes, The Temptations, The Isley Brothers, Rihanna, Frank Ocean, Michael Jackson, Prince, Erykah Badu, Janelle Monae, Lauryn Hill, Chaka Khan, Ciara, Whitney Houston, Jazmin Sullivan

Favorite movies: Coming to America, Love Jones, Woo, Eve’s Bayou, Set it Off, The Grinch, Home Alone, This Christmas, The Preacher’s Wife, City of God, Cooley High, Juice, Losing Isaiah, Poetic Justice, The Wiz, Love & Basketball, The Last King of Scotland, The Princess and the Frog, Dreamgirls, Coming of age movies, cartoon movies, biopics etc.

Favorite TV shows: Atlanta, Insecure, Chappelle’s show, OITNB, Blackish, Power, The Proud Family, A Different World, The Boondocks, Girlfriends, One on One, In Living Color, Family Matters, Moesha, The Steve Harvey Show, Parkers, Talk shows, Court TV/Judge shows, crime shows, Half & Half, Survivor’s Remorse, Hey Arnold, Criminal Minds, RHOATL, Black Ink Crew, LHH, Fresh Prince

Favorite books: Monster, The Coldest Winter Ever, Kite Runner, Aesop Fables, The Wave, Desert Flower, Of Mice and Men, Number the Stars, Hunger Games, Life of Pi, The Giver, My Sister’s Keeper, The DUFF, The Lightning Thief, The Maze Runner, The Outsiders, Speak, Stargirl, The First Part Last, Tyrell, Good Girlz series, Kimani Tru books, Drama High series, Bluford High series

Favorite foods/drinks: Pasta, pizza with a lot of sauce, anything cheesy, fried chicken, buffalo wings with blue cheese, McDonald’s fries, slushies, homemade lemonade, gummy bears, skittles, zebra cakes, saltine crackers, apple juice, grape juice

Favorite sports/sports teams: None

Favorite actors/actresses: None

Favorite time of day: Night Time

Favorite weather/season: When it’s chilly outside or it rains and thunderstorms, warm breezy days

Favorite animal: None

07 / MISCELLANEOUS

Fears/Superstitions: Other people dogs scare her, scared of the dark, scary movies, ghosts, monsters, scary stories

Political views: None

Religion/philosophy of life: Believes in God but doesn’t go to church, wasn’t brought up in church, only knows basic biblical stories everyone else knows

Allergies: Spiders

Addictions: Used to have a drug and alcohol problem. Heavy drugs like cocaine, LSD, shrooms and weed

Best school subject: She was always good in math, gym class and art

Worst school subject: Hated science

School clubs/sports: None

How does (s)he get money? Tattoo Artist and her father gives her something like an allowance

How is (s)he with technology? Very good with technology and social media

08 / PAST & FUTURE

Fondest memory: Going to the kids choice awards with her dad when she was 12.

Dream vacation: Anywhere with water, beach, sand and beautiful tourists spots

Best thing that has ever happened to this character: Rose Kairi Knight

Worst thing that has ever happened to this character: Being addicted, trying to fit in, her upbringing, doing things for attention, being jumped and bullied, being physically abused, getting hit by a car

What does (s)he want to be when (s)he grows up? She never really had dreams or thought about that

Perfect date: Anywhere as long as the conversation is good and they can both laugh and make memories

[bunnybobwrites]

Trying To Tie Loose Ends (Catharsis Continuation): Bonus Chapter: A Reason For Everything

SUMMARY: Estuu used to the power to quickly heal others, similar to the late Princess Mipha. It was a gift that he was proud of, but he could never really tell what exactly about this ability of his appealed to him. Was it that he could save countless lives from otherwise incurable injuries and illnesses? Was it the sense of value that the power gave to his otherwise worthless life? Or was it something else?

Whatever the reason, it didn’t matter when the ability swiftly disappeared with the loss of his arm in the aftermath of a devastating earthquake. It took years for him to claw out of a pit of self-destruction, and becoming his older brother’s personal knight kept him content for long enough.

But when the presence of a Lynel threatens the Zora Domain in a place where everyone thought it was safe, Estuu must discover why exactly he wanted that old power of his so badly in the first place.

(Based on the sidon x link fanfic Coma Baby, a somewhat continuation of another one that I made called Trying To Tie Loose Ends)

This is a fanfiction for a fanfiction called Coma Baby by BanishedOne on AO3 (tumblr: @banishfics / @banishedone). If you like a grumpy Link and really well developed, deep characters and an amazing take on the political structure of the Zora Domain, then definitely check out Coma Baby! It’s a long read and still going on, but the writing and descriptions are superb and it just means more great content.

I post memes and fics for Coma Baby on my tumblr bunnyb0b, you can chat with me any time about anything! All chapters are also posten on my AO3 account BunnyBob!

This bonus chapter was not beta read, so prepare for trash and mistakes lmao

Estuu ran alongside the Oracle Knight and the First Knight, all of them rushing through the winding streets of the Zora Domain towards the Undercity district. It was in one of the more run down areas of the Uppercity, and no one bothered to push out the lower class Zora who often milled about and set up their own businesses since the area was so undesirable to the upper class anyways. The two older Zora were discussing the report that had sent them all into a panic.

“What the hell do you mean there’s a fucking Lynel in the Domain?!” Betaal panted as they ran.

Brivere grunted in response. “I do not know. That is just what the report said.”

“Well then it better turn out to be a false alarm! There’s no way a damn Lynel could get into the Domain undetected! We’ve got guards posted all along our walls!”

Their argument faltered as the three knights rounded the corner, all of them instantly realizing that the First Knight Betaal couldn’t be any more wrong.

Even from this far away they could make out the humongous form of the Lynel, its tan and muscled body looming above the buildings that separated them from the market. A large head, almost obscured by its thick red mane, was peering around the rooftops, letting out a piercing roar that shook the buildings as it swung a large sword into the ground. The impact alone made it feel like another devastating earthquake had struck the Domain.

The three knights were the only ones running towards the beast as panicked citizens rushed in the opposite direction, slowing down their progress as the crowd became a stampede. Brivere and Betaal were shouting for everyone to evacuate to the barracks for shelter while Estuu could only try and block out the chaos in fear of his own sanity.

Eventually they skidded in front of the only entrance and exit to the Undercity market, a large silver archway that was dull and cracked, barely decorated with broken blue gemstones. The buildings inside were all packed together so tightly that it was practically a wall, trapping everyone inside unless they managed to make it to the archway.

They could see that the Lynel was standing in the center of the market, slamming its sword into the sides of the buildings and blocking any Undercity Zora from escaping with its huge body. Those who tried were immediately trampled under its hooves, leaving crushed bodies splattered against the pavement. Estuu whined, trying to process the havoc and keep himself calm, knowing that this absolutely wasn’t the right time to dart away and recover like he usually did.

Brivere suddenly grabbed him and Betaal by their armor and dragged them off to the side, slamming them against the wall. “What the hell Brivere!” she shouted, trying to squirm out of his grasp. “We need to help-!”

Her words were cut off as a chunk of a building was hurled at the archway, completely destroying it as it crashed into the ground where they were just standing.

“Had a vision.” Brivere grunted, disregarding how the two other knights gaped at him. “In fact, it also gave me a plan. I need you to go and gather as many soldiers as possible and rally them all at the reservoir. Estuu and I will lead the Lynel out there.”

“…Are you crazy?”

A grimace flashed across the Oracle Knight’s face. “Yes. Do not worry, the vision I had ensured that we would be able to draw the beast there unscathed.”

She hesitated, unsure if she could just leave the brothers behind, but the chorus of screams that erupted out of the market quickly made the decision for her.

“Go!” Brivere shouted, pushing her away. “If we do not arrive in an hour then you may return with reinforcements!”

“I’m only giving you half an hour!” she yelled over her shoulder as she sprinted away.

Sighing, his older brother got down onto one knee and looked Estuu in the eye. Usually the younger Zora didn’t like eye contact, and Brivere was aware of this, but both of them knew that this was a dire situation. “My Holy Knight,” he said quickly, “I need you to get up on the rooftops and cover for me. Please follow any orders that I give and I will try and use my abilities to further guide you.”

Estuu nodded and the two of them darted in opposite directions. He ducked into one of the buildings, almost losing his balance as the stairs shook under his feet when the Lynel roared. Practically flying up the steps, Estuu shot onto the rooftop and quickly snapped his bow into the hook strapped on his severed arm, aiming it at the Lynel while waiting for his brother’s command.

Not lowering the bow, Estuu watched as his brother stood on top of the large chunk of stone that had nearly crushed them earlier. He raised his silver scale longsword into the air. “LYNEL! BRING YOUR ATTENTION HERE!” the golden knight shouted, waving his weapon in the air.

Brivere’s commands were barely heard over the screams of panicked or dying Undercity citizens. The monster continued to have its back towards him, completely oblivious to his pleas. Grunting, the Oracle Knight looked directly at Estuu. “Holy Knight!” he yelled, pointing his longsword at the young Zora on the roof. “Shoot the Lynel until it faces me!”

A few Undercity Zora who had managed to get out of the market gawked at the golden knight. “Are you crazy?!” one of them shouted. “You Uppercity Zora are going to get us all killed!”

Brivere ignored them. “Holy Knight! Do it now!”

While the young Zora really didn’t want to, he had to remember that in the moment he was the Holy Knight obeying his superior, not Estuu listening to his beloved older brother. He quickly nocked an arrow and let it fly, and once it hit its target he sent a storm of arrows raining down onto the monster’s back. It roared in pain and whipped around, trying to see who dared to attack it.

Brivere waved his sword around into the air, trying to distract the beast from seeing Estuu hiding on the rooftops. “OVER HERE! I HURT YOU! NOW COME GET ME!”

Everyone stared in shock and confusion as the Lynel didn’t charge forward, instead bending its knees and lowering its palms to the ground until it was nearly flattened against the smooth stones. Its hind leg kicked back, smashing into a building right behind it.

The outcome of this event flashed in Brivere’s mind. He panicked, realizing what was about to happen.

“EVERYONE DUCK FOR COVER!” he screamed.

The Lynel suddenly burst forward, launching its large body off of its powerful limbs towards Brivere. Everyone in the vicinity dove to the ground as the Oracle Knight sprinted out of the market and into the long roads of the Zora Domain.

“HOLY KNIGHT!” his brother yelled at the top of his lungs as the Lynel galloped after him. “FOLLOW ME FROM THE ROOFTOPS AND CONTINUE TO ATTACK IT!”

He didn’t have to be told twice. Estuu immediately hopped down onto the building next to him, running across the slippery tiles and gliding across the water flowing off of the roofs. To anyone else it would have been amazing how he continued to have perfect aim as the mad chase played out, but he would have silently argued that he had had much it worse when Link taught him how to shoot on the back of Crazy Girl as she thundered across the grasslands.

Zora were definitely not made for running, and this much was evident when Brivere had nearly been crushed by the beast’s hooves alone several times. On top of that the Lynel continued to try and grab at him with one hand while the other madly swung a sword that was twice the Zora’s size.

His older brother quickly dove into one of the many waterways that flowed throughout the Domain, which were basically miniature Zora-made rivers that worked like roads where one could swim instead of walk.

Now in his element, Brivere shot ahead of the Lynel as he swam for his life, the rushing current pushing the golden Zora forward. Several times the beast would lose interest and stop to focus on cowering Zora citizens off to the side, but Estuu would quickly turn the Lynel into a pincushion and Brivere would trick the monster into thinking that he himself had done it. They repeated this process across the Domain, slowly but surely luring the beast out of the residential areas and away from the innocent Zora citizens hiding inside.

Brivere had to switch waterways a few times to catch the currents that flowed out to the reservoir the fastest. This was accomplished by diving under and launching back out of the water, flipping through the air just out of the Lynel’s grasp before splashing into another waterway. Estuu could tell that his older brother was teasing the Lynel a bit too much, judging by how the acrobatics got more and more extravagant each time.

This only made the Lynel even angrier, who was now completely focused on the golden prey that continued to mock and elude it. Even as Estuu let more and more arrows fly, the monster only let out enraged roars that shook the area around them as it tried to snatch Brivere out of the water.

Finally the reservoir peeked over the horizon, and Estuu was relieved to see the sheer amount of soldiers that had gathered. Their numbers completely filled out the stone surrounding the water as their silver weapons shined in the sunlight. Even from this far away he could make out one large red blur with a smaller blue one next to it, presumably Prince Sidon and First Knight Betaal, waiting for him and Brivere.

The only problem was that there was no waterways directly leading to the reservoir.

This design was made with the intention of keeping the dirty waterway water away from the drinking water, and while that made perfect sense Brivere still cursed to himself for the inconvenience. The waterway he was currently swimming in was leading him right to a dead end, a large wall that couldn’t be climbed over and would take an hour to walk around.

His future vison had failed to mention this predicament.

Estuu didn’t catch onto the problem until the Oracle Knight was suddenly swimming around in circles. The narrow waterway he was now trapped in became a prison as Brivere tried to weave between the Lynel’s hands that plunged into the water, trying to grab onto the golden Zora’s slippery body.

Panic began to rise in his chest as Estuu realized that there wasn’t much they could do. All of the guards were currently out at the reservoir and they were too far away to realize what was happening. Brivere was the only one who would be able to call out to them anyways, and he was currently too busy trying to not get snatched up by the Lynel.

Estuu desperately looked around them, trying to figure out a way out of this mess. By Hylia’s grace, the answer revealed itself to him when he saw the waterfall that was pouring out of a nearby pipe.

He let a rare scream rip his throat apart, the noise so alien to both of the brothers that Brivere’s head shot out of the water in fear of finding his younger brother dead. To his relief, he saw Estuu alive and well, the young Zora screeching as he jabbed his one hand towards the pipe.

“Alright, Holy Knight!” his older brother shouted in understanding. “Cover me!”

Nodding, Estuu shot the last of his arrows right into the Lynel’s face. Most of them got stuck in its bushy mane, but it was still enough to make the beast turn directly towards him and howl. The young Zora darted between rooftops, circling around the monster and making it turn away from his older brother. Brivere quickly took the opening and dragged himself out of the waterway, sprinting towards the waterfall flowing out of the pipe.

The Lynel caught a blur of gold in the corner of its eye and quickly whipped its head around to see the Oracle Knight dive into the waterfall and begin to desperately swim upwards. Roaring, it swiped at Estuu and knocked the young Zora off of his feet before he rolled over and scrambled into the nearest window. From there, Estuu watched as the Lynel turned away from him and charged at Brivere, who was near the top of the waterfall.

The Holy Knight nocked his last arrow, ready to protect his superior as the beast reached for the Oracle Knight, but luckily he didn’t need to.

Right as the Lynel’s large hand shot into the waterfall, Brivere managed to slip into the pipe. The beast let out an earth-shaking howl that shook the young knight to his core, making him clutch at his head. Fighting through the urge to curl up and self-destruct, Estuu leaned out of the window and intensely stared at the end of the pipe that flowed into the reservoir, waiting for his older brother to reappear. A few minutes of tense, complete silence followed, save for the grunts and whines of the Lynel as it tried to squeeze its large hand into the pipe, to no avail. With each second that passed, the Holy Knight felt his heart squeeze tighter in fear of losing not only his superior, but the only family that he had left.

Estuu let out a sigh of relief when Brivere shot out of the pipe.

The young Zora watched in admiration as his older brother re-oriented himself, gracefully flipping through the air to prepare for a swift dive into the water and swim away from the Lynel, allowing the other soldiers to take the beast down. Everyone gathered on the other side of the reservoir cheered in relief, knowing that the Oracle Knight had succeeded and could safely get back to them.

But he never came.

Instead, with one last deafening roar, the Lynel whipped out its gigantic bow and nocked a shock arrow.

Everyone watched in horror as the arrow launched directly into the Oracle Knight’s stomach, throwing off his momentum. He smacked into the stone pavement with a sickening crack and bounced off of the ground several times, rolling into the water right next to him before going completely limp.

“Brivere!” Prince Sidon screamed from the other side of the reservoir.

All of the soldiers lurched forward to try and grab the fallen Oracle Knight, but froze in place when the Lynel pointed more shock arrows at them while it quickly hoisted its gigantic body onto the wall, continuing to threaten them as it stood on top of the stone border. Before anyone could try and get around the monster’s aim, Brivere’s body had already begun to slowly sink into the deep water and out of sight.

Prince Sidon almost dove after him, and it took the First Knight and several other guards to hold the large Zora man back. “Let go! We need to give him medical attention!” the prince shouted, trying to wrestle himself out of their grasp.

“I am well aware!” the Undercity knight spat back. “But if we don’t take out that Lynel first, then we are going to end up losing more of our warriors! The faster we kill the beast the faster we can safely retrieve him!”

Prince Sidon reeled back to try and argue, but the First Knight silenced him by stabbing a finger to his chest. “That bastard is clearly using his body as bait.” the Undercity woman said through gritted, sharp teeth. “You should want to kill it more than anyone else here.”

After a moment of hesitation the prince nodded and raised his spear, ready to shout orders to the other soldiers in attendance. “Do not step a foot in the water! The shock arrows will harm you!” he commanded. “All archers stay back and shoot while all spearmen follow me to the beast! We will take it out from there!”

“Yes sir!” they all shouted back in unison. The army quickly split up, archers covering the spearmen as Prince Sidon led them on the pavement around the deep reservoir.

Estuu didn’t want to wait for reinforcements. He quickly darted around the Lynel’s ankles, who was thankfully preoccupied by the soldiers rushing at it to notice the tiny Zora dive into the water. He could hear Prince Sidon yell at him, commanding him to stop, but he ignored the prince as his warnings became warped by the water. Estuu used the adrenaline rushing through his body to push himself deeper and deeper into the abyss.

In that moment, he wasn’t the Holy Knight trying to search for his superior. He was Estuu, desperately trying to save the only family he had left.

Fear gripped his heart when he swam through the dark water, completely unable to see anything except for the sun shining above him. Although the light told him where he was and how deep he was going, Estuu quickly became disorientated. Water began to pump faster and faster through his gills as he began to panic. He had never swum in such a vast body of water before, especially when there was absolutely nothing in it but complete, gut wrenching darkness. The Zora Domain really only had rivers, and while the reservoir was basically a Zora-made ocean, it was not made for swimming. Also, Brivere had never taken him too far away from home before.

If they got out of this, he was going to make his older brother take him to an actual ocean one day.

A shimmer of silver metal flashed in the corner of his eye, and he quickly spun around to see a golden body gently floating inside a cloud of red water.

Blood.

Estuu shot through the water, kicking his legs with every last bit of strength in his body, the adrenaline quickly being replaced with paralyzing fear. He could barely slow himself down and almost slammed into his brother, narrowly avoiding the golden Zora by darting to the side at the last second. Quickly reorienting himself, the young Zora carefully swam next to Brivere.

Panic began to thrash around in Estuu’s chest as he looked over and gently touched his older brother’s wounds, ignoring how the small contact made his skin crawl. Brivere didn’t even move as Estuu examined him. The arrow was still deeply embedded into Brivere’s abdomen, and Estuu quickly drew it out, ignoring how the weapon burned his only hand. It wasn’t as if he could just leave it inside of his older brother, because although the electricity in the arrow had weakened, it could still cause harm.

But the damage was already done. No healer or healing potion could repair it. The skin and scales surrounding the punctured area were burnt and scarred, and the rest of Brivere’s body was covered marks that looked like lightning, shooting across his skin and scales in painful, swelling wounds. Brivere’s golden eyes were glassy and empty, mouth slightly ajar and barely twitching.

Unwanted memories flashed through Estuu’s mind at the sight of Brivere listlessly floating through the water, body completely limp and unmoving except for his gills desperately pumping for air, but beginning to slow down.

His older brother looked exactly like how their mother did when the two brothers had found her floating in their poisoned cistern.

And just like back then, Estuu was too numb to cry. To scream. To do anything but stare at the motionless body in denial, not fully registering that he was about to lose the only family member that he had left.

But this time, something inside of him snapped.

Estuu reached forward with his one hand, gently placing it on hole that was punctured into his older brother’s abdomen. He closed his eyes and remembered what Prince Sidon had told him months ago, finding now to be the best time to put what he had learned to use.

 “You wish to know how my sister used her abilities, young one?” the prince asked, raising his brow.

 Estuu nodded feverishly. He had been trying to get his abilities to reappear, but in all honesty, he didn’t know why. Was it to give himself worth? To regain his status and usefulness? To save the lives of many? To refill the gaping hole that gnawed at his chest, telling him he was incomplete, that he was missing a part of himself?

 He didn’t know. He didn’t care. He just wanted that power back, the reason completely unimportant to the young Zora.

 Prince Sidon hummed, thinking back to beloved memories of his late sister. “I do believe she told me the thought process behind it, if that would help.” When Estuu eagerly nodded, the prince continued. “Mipha always said that when she used her abilities, it helped to think about those that she loved.”

 Tilting his head, the young Zora stared back at the prince. Was that really how the late princess had done it? It seemed too simple, too naïve, too cliché to be true. Estuu had never really thought about anything when he used the ability, but that was more due to how uncomfortable it felt during the process. Every time he healed someone, it felt like part of him was being stripped away, his hands filled with a stinging, tickling sensation that always threatened to overwhelm him. He absolutely hated the feeling.

 But when he thought back on it, the one time that it had never felt like that… it was the first time he used it. When he desperately tried to bring his mother back to life, after finding her dead in their poisoned cistern.

 Prince Sidon smiled at the slight realization that dawned on Estuu’s face. “She said that thinking of those she loved… she would pour that love, that concern, into whoever she was healing. Mipha said she thought of me, but I know that she also thought of her lover, the Hylian Champion. Someone who she loved so desperately that she would do anything to keep them safe, and that genuine passion would apparently sway the goddess Hylia into helping my dear sister fulfil her desires.”

 He paused, fondly gazing at Estuu. “I wonder, young one… do you have someone like that in your life?”

The answer came in the form of a familiar green light that glowed on Estuu’s only hand, a holy aura that he hadn’t seen in a long time that illuminated the dark water around the two brothers.

The young Zora braced himself for the stinging sensation that usually followed, but it never came. Instead, Estuu felt warm, and his hand felt as light as air. The green light seeped into his older brother’s scales, bathing Brivere’s body in the same holy aura, slowly erasing the damage that the Lynel’s arrow had done. The young Zora watched in awe as the fleshy hole under his fingers began to repair itself, eventually disappearing under new, shining scales. The lightning bolts of wounds that raced through the golden knight’s skin faded until they were completely gone, as if they had never been there in the first place. His older brother’s gills began to pump faster, returning to a steady pace.

Brivere’s golden eyes fluttered open as he gasped for air, quickly whipping his head around in a panic. When all he saw was Estuu staring back at him fondly, the golden knight relaxed. But as he felt Estuu’s hand on his abdomen, Brivere looked down to see the young Zora’s hand glowing in a soft, green light.

“Estuu…?” he said, voice slightly muffled by the water. “Your… your gift has returned?”

The young Zora slowly brought his hand back to his side, nodding in shock. He couldn’t believe it either. Not only that, but that was the most effective his ability had been, and it didn’t even have the strange, overwhelming sensation that usually came with the power.

The corners of Brivere’s lips tipped up into a rare smile as the two brothers gently bobbed in the dark water. “I am so thankful, Estuu. You saved my life.” he said, fondly gazing at his only living family. “But… how were you able to do it? Why has your ability returned?”

Estuu smiled back, eyes half lidded. He pointed at Brivere, then gently placed a hand over his own heart.

Brivere’s golden eyes crinkled as his smile stretched wider. “I see.” he chuckled. “Know that I feel the same, Estuu.”

Placing a hand on the armor covering Estuu’s armor, the golden knight tilted his head. “Now that we are both safe, shall we return to the surface? I am sure that everyone is worried, especially our lord.”

Nodding, Estuu paddled behind his older brother, both of them swimming towards the sun shining above them. Brivere glanced over his shoulder, making sure that the younger Zora could keep up. Both of them moved through the water in comfortable silence, close enough for comfort, but not enough to touch. Exactly how they liked it.

Estuu was proud of himself, and the young Zora silently prayed that his mother would be proud as well, instead of being upset that he hadn’t managed to do so all those years ago. But he knew that she would be happy that this time he was finally able to use his abilities to save someone who meant everything to him.

And that was the only reason he needed.