#BUT i am going 2 email my beta reader this week 2 see if she is willing 2 help check britishisms on this fic as well as the zombie one

[rollercoasterwords]

seven sentence sunday monday

ty @closetfascination 4 the tag!! <3 here r the last few sentences i wrote in the werewolf fighting ring au (cheating a little i think this is technically 8 shhh)

"After this is over," he says, staring down at the carpet, "I'm done."

Remus pauses. After a moment, he says, quietly,

"I thought you might be."

Sirius looks up. Their eyes meet. Remus smiles, a little scrap of a thing.

"What's the matter, Black?" he asks, "Sad you couldn't save me?"

no-pressure tags: @steelycunt @dykefever @pomegranate-pill @suspendedinbush @mayescapade @mayzarbewithyou @twisted-tales-told @little-shit-soph @fruity-individual @pretentiouswreckingball <3

[captainscanadian]

Long Way Home | Bucky Barnes x Reader (Part 2)

MY MASTERLIST

Series Masterlist

Summary: They meet again. 

Word Count: 2200+

Pairing: Doctor!Bucky Barnes x Doctor!Reader, Doctor!Steve Rogers, Nurse!Wanda Maximoff, Doctor!Pietro Maximoff

Warnings: Heart Disease, Hospital, Surgery. 

A/N: Give it up for another clusterfuck from yours truly. Thanks again to my dearest @dramadreamer14​ for the beta, as always. I haven’t written two parts in a day since a year ago so I got really excited to post this one. I DON’T DO TAGLISTS! Divider by @firefly-graphics​ <3

The moment he landed in Boston, Bucky Barnes decided to scratch his initial plan of heading to his new apartment, and instead took a cab from the airport to Massachusetts General Hospital. Despite the fact that he was not supposed to be starting his new job until the following week, receiving that email from Dr. Y/L/N about the Stark method patient had made him rather eager to get to work. Perhaps he was getting a little ahead of himself, but then again, he knew himself better than anyone else. There was no way he could have sat alone in his apartment for an entire week with his inherent need to operate. 

Not that he was expecting to operate immediately after he arrived at the hospital, given that the patient he had been wanting to work with was refusing surgery after all. If this patient had refused to let Tony Stark operate on her again, he knew that he would have a much more difficult time trying to convince her to let him operate on her. But Bucky was not someone who would walk away from a challenge, and this case was as challenging as it got. 

When he arrived at the hospital, he rushed inside and headed straight up to the Heart Center. He knew that he should probably check in with the new Chief of Surgery, maybe even inform him that his best friend had landed safely in Boston. But he had just been too eager to make it to his consultation, and he could see Steve when he was done. 

“Hi, I’m looking for Dr. Y/L/N’s office.” Bucky greeted the red haired woman at the Nurses’ Desk with a rather polite smile. 

Wanda Maximoff raised her eyebrow at the man who had just approached her, rolling her eyes as she was pulled away from her emails to give him directions. “I’m sorry, who?” She asked, as  the only Dr. Y/L/N she knew did not work here at the Heart Center. 

“Dr. Y/N Y/L/N? She requested a consult with me this afternoon. She should be expecting me.” He replied. “I’m Dr. James Barnes. I’m the new Chief of Cardio.”

The moment those words slipped through his mouth, Wanda found herself rising from her seat. “O-Oh… you’re… you’re the man of the house. I’m so sorry!” She was certain that he wasn’t supposed to be starting until next week. Had he come here incognito to spy on the department before he was going to take charge? No, that couldn’t be possible. He had just told her his name. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to be rude. It’s… it’s just been a long day. My apologies, Dr. Barnes.” 

Bucky let out a soft chuckle at her words and shook his head. “Hey, it’s no problem. I know I shouldn’t be here for a few days, but Dr. Y/L/N requested an emergency consult. Do you know where I can find her?”

“Um…” The nurse bit down on her bottom lip for a moment, not knowing how to break this to him. “Dr. Y/L/N doesn’t work here.” 

“I beg your pardon?”

“I mean, she doesn’t work here at the Heart Center.” She clarified. “Dr. Y/L/N is the Director of Neonatal Surgery. She runs the Newborn Developmental Follow-Up Clinic next door.” 

Bucky’s eyes grew wide at the response. “What?” 

First things first, it came as a surprise to him that a neonatal surgeon had requested a consult with him. After all, he specialized in Adult Congenital Heart Diseases, so naturally he was equipped to run Tony’s department following his retirement. Second of all, why was a neonatal surgeon requesting a consult for an adult patient? 

“You’ll be able to find her in the Blake Building next door. Would you like me to direct you there?” Wanda asked. “It’s not a long walk from here…” 

“Uh… no, I think I got it.” Bucky smiled politely at the woman. “But I would appreciate it if you could direct me to my office.” He was here, after all. He might as well get started with work. 

“Oh yes, of course.” She nodded, sitting back down in her seat. “Just give me one moment. I’ll just need to activate your key card and get you to sign a bunch of paperwork. Dr. Rogers gave me special instructions on which photo of yours to use for your profile.” 

Bucky let out a rather exhausted sigh. “Oh did he really?” He asked before shaking his head. 

“He said you insisted.” 

He leaned against the counter before shaking his head once again. “That punk.” 

“Is it true that you both attended Columbia together?” Wanda asked, rather curiously. “Word travels fast around this hospital.” 

“Yeah, we did. We grew up together, actually. I’ve known him since I was twelve years old.” He replied. 

“It’s amazing, isn’t it? Knowing someone when you’re a kid, and then having to work with them when you’re adults?” She remarked, closing her emails for a moment so that she could activate Dr. Barnes’ key card. 

“What makes you say that?” He asked, curiously. “Because you do sound like you’re speaking from experience.” 

“My fraternal twin, he works as a pediatric cardiologist. You'd think I'd gotten rid of him once I graduated from nursing school. But he went off to med school, and came back to work right here in this department. It’s quite the humbling experience." She explained, chuckling softly. “I know a thing or two about working with your best friend, but working for your best friend? I don’t know if I can help you with that, doc.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.” He nodded, laughing softly. “You know, I never got your name.”

“Wanda Maximoff.” 

“A pleasure to meet you, Wanda.” 

Following the formalities that needed to be completed before he could be let into his office, Dr. James Barnes eventually found himself logging onto his office computer and searching up a certain ‘Dr. Y/N Y/L/N’. 

Her employee profile on the hospital’s website stated that she was a triple board certified Neonatal Surgeon, and the Director of Neonatal Surgery. He had come across a series of articles on congenital heart diseases she had published in the medical journal within the last few years. Her LinkedIn profile mentioned that she had attended Harvard Medical School, and graduated Summa Cum Laude. 

As impressive as her credentials were, what caught his attention was not any of her accomplishments. It was the photo of her on her profile, and the familiarity that he felt upon seeing her eyes. For a moment, Bucky wondered if there was a time when their paths would have crossed. Perhaps, they had met at a conference of some sort, given that they both specialized in congenital heart diseases. But then again, if they had met recently, he would remember her, wouldn’t he? 

But as he pondered about where he would have met Dr. Y/L/N, he was pulled out of his thoughts by a knock on his door. 

“Come in.” Bucky called out, quickly closing all of his tabs. 

Steve Rogers stepped into his best friend’s office with a rather disappointed look on his face. “What in the goddamn world are you doing here, ya jerk?” 

“Nice to see you too, punk.” He chuckled, rising from his seat to pull him into an embrace. “I was going to come by your office, but I’ve got to head out for a consult in a bit.”

“A consult? Already?” Steve raised his brow. “Buck, you don’t start until next week.” 

“Says who?”

“Says me.” 

“You’re not the boss of me.” He rolled his eyes, even though he knew that Steve was indeed his boss. 

“Actually… I am.” He pointed out, a rather wide grin on his face. “All those years of being neck and neck with you and missing out on the ranks really paid off. I made Chief before you did, pal.” 

“Oh don’t be so full of yourself, buddy. I only took this job because you begged me to.” He reminded him. 

“Begging Is a stretch. I simply made a request.” Steve protested. “And I wanted my best friend to be closer to me.” 

“Aw you missed me, pal?” 

“Yeah, I did.” He admitted, a smile on his lips as he looked over at Bucky. “Best friends like you are rare to find, and easy to lose. Call me a sap all you want, Buck. But the last eight years haven’t been the same without you.” 

Needless to say, Steve wasn’t the only one who could say that. Someone could say that the last thirty years hadn’t been the same without him, if she even remembered him. 

Y/N’s morning had been spent doing rounds around the NICU, having barely walked around the entire floor before her feet began to ache. Two days it had been since they had started to ache, but she paid no heed to them, shrugging them off as the consequence for having stood in the OR for fifteen hours earlier that week. Unfortunately though, she knew the exact reason why her feet were aching. She was just too stubborn to accept that. 

“Pietro, I’m fine!” She exclaimed as her friend sat her down on the couch in her office and removed her shoes, noticing the swelling on her ankles before he gave her a look of utter disbelief. 

“You need to stop being so stubborn, Y/N.” He said, rather sternly. He wouldn’t yell at her, but he knew that she was being extremely negligent about her health ever since Dr. Stark had announced his retirement. “This isn’t normal, especially not for someone with a history of heart disease.” 

She knew that he was right. She knew that she was being stubborn, and that her symptoms were not normal. But with Tony retiring, she hadn’t managed to find that kind of trust in any other doctor. 

It had taken a lot of convincing on Tony’s part for her to even consider setting up a meeting with the new Chief of Cardio. But even then, she doubted if she could trust that man with her life. Perhaps her hesitance to go for surgery was not necessarily based on trust, but her own refusal to go back to the way things used to be when she had first left her hometown in Indiana and arrived in Boston at the age of five. 

Y/N Y/L/N had been a patient at Massachusetts General Hospital long before she had become the Director of Neonatal Surgery. She had spent months on end being admitted in the same Pediatrics Ward where she currently worked, missing out on her life as a normal kid even though she had been surrounded by children her own age. Her normal had been different than most people, and she refused to return to that state yet again. She had come so far, and worked so hard, to go back to that dark place. 

“I have a consultation with the Chief of Cardio later today, okay?” She assured him, as though it was progress in her eventually agreeing for surgery. “I’ll have a chat with him and see what we can do about this.” 

Surgery was out of the question for Y/N. She was not going to have anyone cut into her chest again, not with the way her last surgery had caused her a massive lifestyle change. She had given up her entire life to ensure that she was staying healthy. But if that hadn’t been enough, then what even was the point? 

“And if he suggests surgery?” Pietro questioned. “What would you do if he tells you that he needs to operate, just like Stark did?” Given her condition, even he knew that surgery was the best option. 

“I’ll cross that bridge when I get to it, Pietro.” She admitted, letting out a sigh of exhaustion as she leaned back against the couch. “You should get back to work. I’m just going to put my feet up for a bit.” 

God, could anyone be as stubborn as Y/N Y/L/N? Pietro Maximoff had no idea. “Okay, but don’t walk around too much. I’ll ask Romanoff if she could handle your patients for the day. Just stay in your office, okay? This isn’t a good sign.” 

“I know, I know… just go.” 

Pietro could only hope that she listened to him and stayed put in her office for the rest of the day, but it seemed that she had dozed off as he was leaving her office. 

“If the doctors don’t fix you, then I’ll become a doctor and I’ll fix you, Bambi.”

“You would be the best doctor in the whole wide world!”

Suddenly, there was a knock on her door as Y/N found herself waking up from her nap. She checked the time on her watch to see that she hadn’t been asleep for too long. That had to be Dr. Barnes, right? 

“Come on in!” She called out, quickly removing her feet from the coffee table and slipping them into her shoes. 

As Bucky walked into Dr. Y/L/N’s office, there were a thousand questions that he wanted to ask her. But not even one of them was, ‘Hey Bambi, would you let me keep my promise now?’ 

[straydog733]

Fall in love with fandom all over again with “Me and AU”

I didn’t get around to writing about this for the debut two weeks, but the second episode of the podcast Me and AU dropped today and I need to take a minute to squee. For about a year and a half now, my fiancee Andrea Klassen has been writing, editing, casting, directing, recording and producing this show, and now the rest of the world is finally getting to see the results of her hard work. I would be incredibly, incredibly proud of any work she was putting out, but Me and AU warms a special place in my heart.

Me and AU is not autobiographical, Andrea and I are not ACunningPlan and HellaEnchanted, but there is the seed of our experience reflected in the show. We met in 2013 on Tumblr, while deeply invested in the fandom for the British audio game Zombies, Run! And as Kate says in Episode 2, it is so easy to connect with people through shared fandom interests, especially in a small space where only a few folks are creating fan content. I met a lot of people through ZR fandom, some of whom were only there for a moment, some of whom I still talk to today, but no one has had as big of an impact on my life as Andrea. Meeting this evocative writer who was as passionate about Jack/Eugene fanfic as I was (my OTP to end all OTPs) meant so much at a time when I was feeling very lost and aimless in my life. Discussing episode theories and elaborate AUs eventually transitioned into talking about our other interests and lives. I have Tumblr to thank for completely messing up the Inbox system, because it motivated us to actually swap emails. Soon enough, I was looking forward to talking to her as a person as well as eagerly awaiting her fanfic updates. Friendship evolved into a crush, evolved into something deeper, and after meeting in-person in 2015, we began dating long-distance. Skip forward a couple years from then, and she agreed to be my wife. Considering that when we met, I was living in Minnesota and she was living a few hours outside of Vancouver, there is no conceivable way we would have met without both wanting some characters in a running app to kiss more. And that is really beautiful to me.

Not everyone is going to, or should, meet the love of their life while writing fanfic, and god knows it took a lot more work than that original fandom spark to bring us to where we are today. But that ability to meet other people with the same passions as you, and other writers and casual creators, is such a wonderful part of the fandom experience. I got to fall in love with her writing before I fell in love with her, and vice versa, and that meeting as peers as well as partners has been a treasured part of our relationship to me. Andrea was a beta reader for my novel, The Traveling Triple-C Incorporeal Circus, and I have read and given notes on all of the scripts for Me and AU. But I am actually listening to the episodes for the first time along with everyone, and getting swept up in the story, and our story, all over again. 

So all of this is a long way to say, you should listen to Me and AU if you have ever had a fandom friend, a crush on a fictional character or an internet stranger, or a moment of connection writing comments on someone’s fanfic. The show comes from a place of love, both for people and for the special worlds that fandom can create. And it’s cute as hell. So go listen now and get those good fandom feels in every way.

[danbensen]

…or how tracking my life told me I was abusing coffee and social media

So there I was, my nails digging into my palms, my right molars pressed into each other. The air hissed in through my nose as my vision narrowed to a point. It was like hurtling down a roller-coaster. It was was terrifying, and I had no idea why it was happening.

I’d be doing nothing especially ominous – sitting down on the couch, carrying my younger daughter, thinking about bread – and suddenly I’d be gripped by this intense sensation of danger. BREAD! The image of a whole-grain loaf gained the mass of a church bell. DOOM! It rang. Toll the yeasty knell, oh brazen fate, for all men shall one day die. Die, oh, mortal flesh. Die and meet thy baker. (whoo! I am so sorry about that pun. Deep breaths now…)

Tiny drops of steam Ebb and flow before the light With each of my breaths.

It was ridiculous, but of course knowing that it was ridiculous didn’t help. I was like a cat, freaking out for no reason. Or was there no reason? Aren’t I supposed to listen to my body, now that I’m meditating and whatnot? But what exactly was my body supposed to be telling me? Avoid carbs? Run from the couch? Something about my daughter…? Yeah, If I searched hard enough for a reason to be terrified, I’d surely find one. Now there’s a reason for fear.

So I meditated more. I stopped using social media. I took my daughters to the park and watched the sky as it changed from brass to rose and the street lights blinked on. I talked to Pavlina. And I realized that over the course of the past month, I’d gone from drinking two cups of coffee a day to four.

The trees turn black and The sky, indescribable. Look up and it’s changed.

Scheduling is hard. My older daughter’s in first grade now, and school starts at 8:10 in the Center. The younger one’s in kindergarten, which starts at 8:30 in Levski G. At some point, it would be nice if Pavlina and I could go to work, which is back in the Center. If we want to have breakfast and drink our coffee in peace, we need to wake up at 6:15. Three hours later, I’m finally in the office and I’m tired. That scares me because I associate being tired with being sick. Fatigue=death.

I’m supposed to listen to my body, but my body is a stupid animal. It’s not going to say, “you’re drinking too much coffee.” It says “coffee reminds me of being happy!” and “not being productive scares me!” It says “I’m tired! I must have cancer again!” It’s up to me to keep track of what I’m doing, cut out the distractions, and give myself enough mental room to notice the patterns.

Right. So that’s why I’m not doing social media any more. Because part of the reason I was too distracted to notice I was drinking too much coffee was the last newsletter I wrote. I posted it on facebook, which made me want to check facebook for likes and comments. And once I was on facebook, why not see what other people are posting? Oh. Oh. That’s what they’re posting. Oh no.

I debated writing this explanation. Why not just stop using social media? Why talk about it on social media? But my litmus test for whether I should write something is “will this help people?” Maybe this is helpful: social media is distracting and depressing. It fills my head with noise. Maybe you have the same problem and this is the solution.

The sky at seven The color of hope that hurts And the crying swifts

I’ll continue to post my work on my website (including these newsletters) and mirror or link to those posts on Tumblr, Twitter, and Facebook. Readers are welcome to like and comment, but I’ll only read those comments once a week (Friday seems like a good day). Comments on my website, PMs, and emails to me will get my attention earlier. I won’t read any content that isn’t sent personally to me or that I didn’t sign up for. Hopefully that means I’ll still get news from people I care about, but not about tragedies that I have no power to solve. That way, I can continue to function from hour to hour.

What do you think? Is this going to work? Can I stay connected without sacrificing my mental health? Let me know in the comments. Or even better, email me.

In other news, I had some good writing stuff happen this month. Interchange has hit its 2/3 mark and, more importantly, its rhythm. I’ve managed to block off a fairly reliable 90-minute chunk of time in the mornings, which I use to meditate and then “speedwrite,” which means writing without thinking about what I’m doing. I generally end up with a single element of a scene, such as the conversation the characters are having, how they feel, what’s going on in the environment, or what actions the characters are taking.

Then I usually have some time after lunch (and my second and final coffee), and I can layer those scene-pieces onto each other and smooth the edges. If I have more time, I do research, which usually involves shooting messages to generous experts. In this way, the inestimable and inspiring Thomas Duffy helped me tie a ribbon around the center of my book, in which a biologist’s subconscious belief that she owns the environment she’s studying leads her to destroy it. As the forest crumbles around her, she blames herself…then makes exactly the wrong decision about what to do next. Yeah! Fiction! Thomas, I’m going to send you roses or cacti or something.

Another new tradition I’ve instituted is spending my Friday mornings not working on Interchange. It’s a little release of pressure, a chance to play and remind myself that writing isn’t just another chore I have to do. The first week, it was a short story. That one turned out so well, I’m going to try to publish it. It’s called “The Sales Event” and it’s about smart phones and general relativity. Do you want to beta-reader it?

I got another couple of “no”s from publishers about The Sultan’s Enchanter, but one of them was that very gratifying “no” that comes at the head of a long list of things I could do to fix the story. Making those fixes will be educational, even if that particular publisher still passes. Wealthgiver is rather like The Sultan’s Enchanter, after all, and the lessons I learn from one will be important for the other. The world needs more books about amoral Balkan people!

Yeah, I’m still working on Wealthgiver’s neo-Thracian language. I even posted a little of it on Tumblr. But don’t worry, I haven’t forgotten my little goats!

Kapt kapēnon ainē kesa / byźai darsai ypo dēsâ. Ēbron, aiźi, byźâs kâ / skalmon, bleptē, bystâs kâ, As tae yper iatśikan / kapâ pe ta ve abbrinkan.

There were at one time / brave goats under heaven. A kid, a nanny, and a billy goat / clever, loyal, and tough, Who would dance up / a hill for to make themselves fat.

Dâ ispilsen opē rinkon strymē / parân ân, śân târâ dymâ. Iśē iserpa źēryntē / źymlē mērē urdēnē. Byźulâs ada pyrân źilmân / dâ bolvarâs pia rhobton saimân.

But a quick-flowing river blocked / the path with an evil guard. There coiled a beast / a great water-dragon. A goat will eat green grains / but a serpent will slurp blood

Peskēnon ērga ēbron do. / Pliskon ērga śân negō. Źymlē zē semân iglytsa. / “Kis ēs tu?” Neston iglâtsa. “Semâs manon ēm ēźo.” / “San ar ēsti? Abadam so!”

First comes the kid. / It splashes with its hooves. The dragon heard this. / “Who are you?” she roared. “This only am I.” / “Is it so? I will eat you up!”

Things are heating up! I’m still not entirely comfortable with the articles and deitics, but I do like that last line. And the orthography is shaping up nicely. I love googly things over letters.

Another potential conlanging project for that other hundred years I plan to live: Western Hellenism. What if the Greeks had conquered Iberia?

And finally, PROTECTOR! This is the comic project I’ve been working on for literally six years. Words by me and Simon Roy, inks by Atryom Trakhanov, colors by Jason Wordie, and lettering by Hassan Otsmane-Elhadu. What a crazy, fun, glorious process this collaboration was!

Protector is a post-apocalyptic scifi story about a slave who stumbles across “a demon of the Profligate Age,” a military cyborg who’s been in hibernation for the past thousand years. The post-human robots who are terraforming the Earth are not amused, and send in some sweaty future-vikings to put a stop to these shenanigans.

There will be five issues, and issue one comes out in January. If you’re interested, please order a copy, or better yet, tell your local comic or book store to order lots of copies! Give us some numbers that will convince Image to ask for a sequel

And finally, some books and stuff

Daring Greatly by Brené Brown – this book wasn’t as transformative for me as it could have been because I’ve read Brown before and I already agree with her. Shame is bad. Vulnerability is the cure. Bam. What I like about Brown is that she collects good data, lets it prove her wrong, and suggests how the lessons from the data can be usefully applied. It’s not just science, it’s engineering.

Falling Free by Lois McMaster Bujold – I think this was the third read. What happens when GM humans become obsolete? What happens when an engineer has a spiritual epiphany? It wasn’t quite as much fun as some of Bujold’s other science fiction, but it has a lot of heart.

Spooky Action at a Distance by George Musser – an excellent physics book, examining the concept of space, which lies at the center of the contradictions of relativity and quantum physics. If space didn’t exist, the universe would be chaos, but a lot of experiments only make sense if space _doesn’t_ exist. Great stuff, and it inspired that short story I’m so proud of.

Death by Water by Kerry Greenwood – a refreshing splash of chilly New Zealand sea spray. Phryne pursues a jewel thief and has a little bit of sex, but a lot of good food, drink, and dancing. There’s also a hakka.

Wicked Prey by John Sandford – it was actually a little boring. The police’s side of the story didn’t hold up as well as the criminals’. But this is a relatively early book in the series, which means Sandford is improving.

The Upright Go Pro – it’s a little device that you glue to your upper back so it will buzz at you when you slouch. Immediately after I put it on, I realized I have little tiny tyrannosaurus arms that don’t reach any table or counter-top. It ran out of batteries one day and man did my back hurt that night. So I guess it’s working.

Gravity by Against the Current and Brighter by Patent Pending – Good Interchange music.

Be Kind to Yourself by Andrew Peterson – It makes me feel better.

Song of Durin by Clamavi De Profundis – I haven’t gotten goosebumps from a song in a long time. It’s about dwarves.

The Twits by Roald Dahl – I read it to my older daughter and boy howdy did Roald Dahl know how to write for children. Everything seems utterly ridiculous but it all somehow satisfies. Like eating dirt cake.

Steven Universe – My younger daughter found me rewatching it on my phone and made me cast it on the big TV. Now it’s all “I wanna watch Steeben dabout a Giant Woman. I’m Pearl.” No, younger daughter, you are not Pearl. Pearl is my older daughter. My younger daughter is Amethyst. Nobody is more Amethyst than my younger daughter. (I’m Peridot)

[supersoldierslover]

A Messed up Situation Part 7

Summary: You have the perfect life in LA, there is nothing that you would change. However when your mom calls you telling you to drop everything because your father is sick. You see yourself going back home where you have to deal with your family and your first love Bucky Barnes.

Words: 1375

Paring: Bucky x Reader

Warnings: A lot of fluffy, reader being a badass and Logan being a jackass.

I can thank you enough @unbetaedimagines you betaed this form and gave amazing in feedback

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6

It’s been a week since the last time you saw Bucky and Logan. The truth is that you didn’t want to face either one of them; what Logan said to you in his hotel room was playing in your mind on repeat, and you were not ready to get to the bottom of your feelings.

So you decide to use your time for something good; you decide to focus on work and your family. During the mornings, you worked, and you worked a lot; you had Skype meetings, answered emails, and searched for new fashion trends.

The afternoon you spent with your dad. You two stayed on the couch, watching Friends and eating popcorn. What you loved the most about your dad was that he was not pushing you to talk about anything he was just glad to spend time with his daughter.

And at night, when you were lying in bed, you worked some more. Having meetings with fashion brands and trying to get some free stuff for your family and friends.

However, today you didn’t wake up feeling so well. It was not that you were feeling sick, you just can’t keep all your feelings  bottled up anymore. You need to talk to someone, so you decide to  have a Skype session with your best friend; if anyone can you help it’s her.

You sigh, hating being that girl.

“Oh My God, you do have signal; you made me lose 50 dollars to Nat. Why didn’t you call me earlier?” Wanda says, answering the call. You can’t help but laugh; you missed her and her craziness way too much. “What did you guys bet? “

She smiles, “Well, I bet her that you would call as soon as you landed and she said that you would forget about us. And well, she was right.” She says dramatically and laughs. “Come on, don’t act like this; how can I make it up to you?” You say, imagining that she wants something.

“They brought a black leather skirt just my size for your department…” You laugh; you knew that she wanted something that the fashion department received as a gift. You worked for one the biggest magazine in the country, and you guys received loads of things from makeup to fast fashion and high fashion clothes.

“It’s yours. So tell me, what are you working on right now?” Wanda was one of the best writers that you had the pleasure  of meeting. “Did you really call to ask me about my next story?” She asks, raising her eyebrows.

“No, but I know that you are curious to know why I called, so tell me what you are working on and then I will tell you everything you want to know.” She looks at you suspiciously, but decides to take your bargain.

“Fine, I’m working on a piece about siblings and how they act differently, even though they were raised the same way. Now come on, tell me everything.” And that is what you do.

You tell her about your father’s health, your siblings and how your sister keeps acting like a bitch. And more importantly, you tell her everything about your situation with Bucky and Logan.

After you tell her about your fight with Logan and all the horrible things he said , you have to ask her, “Do you think Logan was right during our fight?”  You need an outside opinion about your relationship with him.  If he was always this cruel and you just missed it.

She bites her lip and you can see that she doesn’t know how to answer you. “Honestly? No, he was being cruel and bitter. He was a real jerk with you, but I don’t think he was totally wrong…” Before you can ask why she takes a deep breath and continues.

“… Everything he said was kinda the truth. You never introduced him to your family and you never wanted to take the next step in your relationship. I’m not saying that he has the right to be an idiot, but he has the right to be jealous.”

You can see that she is being very careful with her words to not anger you. “But nothing is happening between me and Bucky.” You say, and she rolls her eyes at you. “Calm down, I am too nice to say this to you. I’m going to call Natasha.”

In a couple of minutes, Natasha enters in Wanda’s office, and she explains everything to the redhead, who sighs looking at you. “What Wanda wants to tell you, but is too nice. to say is; A part of you is always going to love Bucky, because he was your first love and more important, your first dick.”

You start to laugh and so does Wanda. “It’s not like that, he Is just nice, ok? He is friends with my family and he cares about my dad.” You say, and they both laugh not really believing you. “Show us a picture of him.”

Wanda says as you send them a couple of pictures you found on his Instagram. You send them one of his with Lydia  sitting under a tree and the other is of him with Steve and Sam at the local bar. In both of the pictures, he looks extremely handsome.

“Come on, look how you are smiling, you so have feelings for him. I mean, I don’t blame you; I would climb him like a tree if I could.” Natasha says, making you blush. Wanda can stop laughing.

“Stop it you two, Bucky can be really hot and very nice and a gentleman. But this could never work. Logan was right; I would never leave my job to move here and Bucky would never leave this town.”

You say and you notice that there is a little sadness in your voice. Bucky didn’t love this town, but it was a great place to raise Lydia; It was calm and had great public schools and his mom was always a call away.

Before they can say anything else, you hear the doorbell ring. “Girls, I have to go, there’s someone at the door.” You say, closing your old laptop.

Before you can get to the stairs, you father is already at the door. You see Bucky carrying a sleeping Lydia in his arms. “Can you babysit Lydia for me?  I have a last minute meeting with one of my suppliers and my Mom has a meeting with her book club.”

You are pretty sure that they can’t see you from down there you think about going down and saying hi to Bucky, but you decide not to. “Of course I don’t mind taking care of this cute little thing.” You father says happy and It’s been a while since he smiled so happily.

“Thank you, you are a life saver. And how is your daughter?” Bucky asks awkwardly; Since your fight with Logan, Bucky texted you a few times, but you two  didn’t really have a real conversation this week.

“She is ok, working a lot, you know how she is. So when are you going to tell her that you are still in love with her?” Your father asks, putting Lydia on the couch. You feel your heart stopping for a moment; It doesn’t matter what Bucky says, you are not ready to listen.

“What are you saying?” Bucky asks, with a small voice. “James, I see the way you look at her and it’s the same way you used to look at her when you were seventeen….Like she is the sun. You love her and there is no shame in admitting it”.

You feel your heart racing in your chest; You wonder if is too late to  go back to your room and pretend that you never heard this conversation. “Does it matter?” She has someone already and that someone is waiting for her at my Inn.”

Your father laughs and your heart breaks. You didn’t know that Logan was still here waiting for you; part of you hoped that he was back in LA by now. “Look, Logan sounds like a great guy, but if I had to choose someone to take care of my daughter, it would be you, not him."

Bucky sighs. “I really have to go, but thank you for taking care of Lydia.” You sit on the floor; you hear heavy footsteps coming upstairs. “Honey, do you mind watching Lydia  this afternoon?” He asks.

“Not at all, but why, are you not feeling well?” You ask; he looks fine and  he looks so excited to spend the afternoon babysitting. “I’m great, but I just think you should spend some time with her. It will be good for both of you.”

Your father says, smiling and you don’t know what he is planning but you have a pretty good idea.

Part 8

I love this chapter so much, but my favorite part was her father??? I mean he is planning something...

PLEASE LEAVE FEEDBACK, ESPECIALLY IF YOU ARE ON THE TAG LIST, I’M REALLY EXCITED FOR THIS SERIES.

[atc74]

A Study in Love - Part 2

Title: A Study in Love - Part Two (This will be a three part mini-series)

Square Filled: none for this part

Rating: R for this part for explicit sexual content, but extreme amounts of disgusting fluff. Rob is a dreamboat, really. YES that is a warning!

Summary: Reader x Rob are friends attending the same college and he assists her in studying for a final. What happens when Rob finds out the reader is spending Christmas alone on campus?

Word Count: 3072

Characters: Rob Benedict, Reader, Brenda and Eddie (OC’s)

Series Masterlist

A/N: I have modeled my reader after Briana because she is just so beautiful and when I saw that picture of her and Rob together I knew I had to do it. I make no apologies. Thank you to @just-another-busy-fangirl for her constant advice and support, and for being my go to beta, as I navigate the craziness that is this bingo!

Part 2

It was Christmas Eve and you had just returned home. You had worked today and brought home a few different dishes from the restaurant where you worked; chicken fettuccine alfredo, a carbonara and two slices of lasagna. The head chef also packed you salad and bread. You were set for the week and the restaurant was closed for two whole days. Glancing at your watch, it was only half past five; you had time for a shower then dinner before sitting down and starting the next episode of ‘A Christmas Story’ on cable.

Fresh out of the shower, you left your hair in a towel, pulled on your flannel pants, an old hoodie over a tight tank and fuzzy socks then padded back out to the kitchenette. You made a quick salad, tossed a bowl of pasta in the microwave and checked your email while you waited. A soft knock on your door startled you. You knew for a fact that there was no one else on your floor for at least another week. You tiptoed to the door, grabbing your umbrella as you passed the closet, holding it behind your head like a bat.

“Who is it?” you demanded sharply, one hand on the handle, one on the umbrella.

“Y/N, it’s Rob,” the voice answered on the other side of the door.

“What?” you wondered.

“Rob. Rob Benedict, Eddie’s roommate…” he reminded you.

You shook your head and opened the door to Rob, who immediately held up his hands in defense. “I know who you are. What are you doing here? Why aren’t you at home?”

“I would feel more comfortable answering that if you could put the umbrella down,” Rob replied, rubbing one hand across the back of his neck, the other pointing at the umbrella still clutched tightly in your hands.

“Oh, yeah, sorry ‘bout that; wasn’t really expecting anyone for another week or so,” you snickered, sensing his nervousness, stowing the umbrella back in the closet. “Rob, what are you doing here?”

“Well, I spent a whole week with my mother and although I love her, I was probably very close to being suffocated to death. We celebrated yesterday with my family and it just didn’t feel right, you here all alone, so I hopped a bus this morning and came back,” Rob admitted. “I come bearing gifts…” He held out a small gift bag.

“Rob, you didn’t have to get me anything,” you waved him off, shaking your hair out of the towel and combing your fingers through it.

“I know, and technically I didn’t get it for you, but for the both of us. Truth be told, I lifted it from my mothers cellar,” he grinned sheepishly, holding up two bottles. “Bottle of red? Bottle of white?”

“It all depends upon your appetite,” you replied, offering him his choice of pasta. He opted for the same as you were having and you doubled the portions as he uncorked the white wine and poured some into the coffee mugs you had taken out. You sat down on the floor, using the coffee table and began eating, the television playing low in the background. Rob filled you in on his Christmas and you entertained him with stories of your worst customers over the last week. The bottle of white was now empty and Rob got up to clear the table and returned with the second bottle.

“That’s not even all of it,” you shook your head and a shudder overtook your body at the thought.

“What? What else happened?” Rob probed you for more information, a concerned look on his face.

“This, guy... some drunken creep is more like it, he grabbed my ass last night,” you revealed. “My manager kicked him out, but he is a local and he’ll probably be back.” You looked up and were taken aback, having never seen the look on Rob’s face before that he was giving you. It was a cross between sadness and anger; you had only ever seen him stressed or happy.

“That is not okay. I am so sorry that you had to go through that. No one should touch you without your permission, ever,” he growled, but his face now conveyed something else, as he reached up and brushed a lock of hair away from your face. You closed your eyes at the ghosting of his fingers over your skin.

“Rob…” you whispered. “I give you permission.”

His hand cupped your cheek near your ear, long fingers tangling in your hair. He leaned closer, his hot breath fanning over your face and your eyes fluttered shut at the first feel of his lips on yours, just a brush of skin on skin, a barely there kiss. A soft moan rumbled through his chest and you pressed forward just enough to feel the warmth of him seep through his lips to yours.

A content sigh left your mouth and Rob took the leap, his tongue sweeping across your lips, hesitantly licking at the inside of your mouth. You could taste the slight sweetness of the wine, the tang from the dressing and the bitter garlic left behind by the bread. Your senses were on overload as you opened freely, wanting to taste more of him.

You reached out and cupped the back of his head, playing with the short curls you found there. Rob tilted his head, deepening the kiss, and you felt like you were flying. That first perfect kiss wasn’t like fireworks at all; pyrotechnics were starting. It was like watching a butterfly float on the breeze on a warm spring day, peaceful and serene. You broke apart, barely breathing, your mouth slightly agape, eyes still closed, taking in the moment.

Rob’s thumb lightly caressed your cheek where it rested and your eyes fluttered open and met his. “Hi.”

“Hi,” you whimpered at the loss of his lips. “That was…”

“It was about time I did that,” Rob smiled down at you and leaned in for another taste. What could have been minutes or hours or days passed, the two of you laying on your floor reveling in the taste of each other, pressed tightly together, until you felt like you couldn’t breathe.

“I like this,” you whispered into his shirt as you lay cuddled in your bed, still clothed.

“I like you. I just wish I would have said something earlier,” Rob pressed a kiss to the top of your head. “I could have been kissing you for months!”

“I like you, too. We have two more weeks until Brenda gets back. What are we going to do?” you pondered, looking up at him through dark lashes.

“Stay right here, maybe move to the couch once in a while; can’t let our muscles atrophy,” he snickered, pulling you tighter to him.

“There are plenty of ways we can exercise those muscles,” you trailed off, your neck craning up to kiss him. He growled and pulled you up so you were laying on top of him, his hands holding you firmly to his body.

“Don’t tempt me, Y/N. I have wanted this - you - for so long, I don’t even remember what it was like not to want you. I waited this long, I can wait some more. We don’t have to rush this, you’re worth the wait,” Rob professed.

“Are you serious? That long?” you marveled, looking down on him from atop his chest.

“Basically since day one. Remember that econ class with Professor Joel? He was a terrible teacher, but entertaining. But yeah, since then,” Rob recalled with a laugh.

“Boy, we really have wasted an entire year and half,” you said under your breath.

“Yeah, we did. But it’s late, let’s sleep on it and see where this takes us, huh?” Rob suggested, rolling you both to your sides so he could sit up and remove his jeans as you slipped your hoodie off, sliding back under the covers.

“Good night, Rob,” you mumbled, sleep already taking over.

“Merry Christmas, Y/N. Sweet dreams,” he murmured, kissing your forehead gently and closing his eyes.

~*~

You rolled over, feeling the spot next to you empty, a small frown pulling at your lips. You grumbled and pulled the covers back up over your head; the small breeze it created brought a familiar and desirable scent with it: coffee. Flipping the comforter back, you took a deep breath in through your nose, a smile finding its way to your face. Hopping out of bed earlier than you expected to on your first day off in a week, you rushed to the bathroom. With your business out of the way and teeth brushed, you examined your face in the mirror. Your cheeks were flushed, maybe from sleep, maybe from the realization that Rob liked you just as much as you like him.

You ran a finger over your lips, rosy and slightly swollen from the hours spent kissing the man you had liked since your first day of classes. Rob’s beard did something to you and the evidence was all over your face. Smiling to yourself, you made your way to the small kitchenette, the promise of coffee calling your name like a siren. Two steps out of the bathroom and your dorm room swung open, Rob slipping through and trying to shut the door quietly. He had a takeout bag in one hand, but he didn’t see you standing there.

“And just what do you think you are doing, Mister?” your voice broke the silence and scared Rob so much, he jumped back about a foot. You clutched your belly and your body bent over laughing.

“Jesus Christ, Y/N! You scared the shit outta me!” Rob dropped the bag on the counter after he removed his boots and coat, stowing them in the closet. “I thought you would still be sleeping.”

“I was, but I woke up and you were missing from my bed and it was cold...and I had to pee. Where did you slip out to?” You wrapped your arms around his neck as you stepped closer to each other. “I missed you.”

“Yeah?” He pressed a sweet kiss to your lips, his tongue gliding over them, giving you just a taste of him - mint and a hint of coffee.

“Mmm hmm, but first coffee. We have the next two days to make out and other things,” you replied suggestively before releasing your grip on him and making for the coffee pot. “Sooo, what’s in the bag?”

“A surprise. Coffee first, remember?” he laughed, his arms closing around your waist as you fixed your coffee just the way you liked it. “Cream, easy on the sugar, just a hint of sweetness.”

“Mmmmmm, heaven. You and coffee? I can get used to this,” you sighed, content with your morning so far as the coffee settled in your stomach. “Okay, I have coffee and you. Now what’s in the bag, sir?” You turned around in his arms, pecking him on the lips.

“I grabbed breakfast. Luckily, our favorite place was open and I didn’t have to resort to doughnuts,” Rob informed you as he let him hand slide to yours, grabbing the bag as he lead you to the loveseat.

“Is that what I think it is?” Your mouth was already watering at the thought.

“Chocolate chip pancakes with extra whipped cream from the Parkway Diner, with a side of bacon.” Rob opened the two take out containers and placed them on the table. He laid out napkins and plastic utensils. He barely had popped the covers off and you already had one finger dipping into the sweet cream, popping it into your mouth. “Hey!”

“Want some?” you repeated the process and held your finger in front of his mouth. Rob didn’t hesitate as he leaned forward. He opened his mouth and snaked out his tongue running it up the length of your digit, curling the tip around as he licked the cream off. You heard a moan somewhere in the room and he laughed, which was the moment  when you realized it came from you.

You knew he could kiss after last night, but you felt a tightening in your abdomen, a fire filling your belly. Sitting up on your knees you grabbed his face with both hands and pulled him to you. He responded quickly, wrapping both arms around you and crashing his lips to yours. This kiss was so different from those you shared last night. This was hot and burning, lighting you up from the inside. He leaned forward and you slipped your legs out from underneath you, following his lead as he lowered you to your back, your legs on either side of his waist as he wedged himself between them, pancakes long forgotten.

Rob tilted his head slightly, his nose brushing yours as he deepened the kiss, his hands playing with the hem of your tank top. You pulled away for a breath, lifting your arms over your head, giving him permission to remove it. He looked you in the eye before breaking the silence. “You sure, Y/N? I told you last night we don’t need to rush this. I waited this long, a little longer won’t hurt.”

“Rob, I’m sure. We wasted a year and a half, I don’t want to wait anymore,” you whispered and he lifted your top, revealing your chest to him, your nipples turning to hard peaks as the cool air hit them. A breath caught in his throat.

“You’re even more beautiful than I imagined, honey. I want to make you feel good,” he murmured, his tongue already sneaking out between his lips as he lowered his head and took one rosy bud in his mouth, kneading the other with his hands, twisting the tip perfectly. You arched up into him as he switched his attention, fueling the fire. Your hands couldn't find his shirt fast enough; you wanted, needed, to feel his warm skin on yours.

“Rob…” you moaned as he resumed his place at your breast. You wiggled your hips as you tried to remove your pants with the hand that was not holding his head to you. He got your message and moved both his hands down, sliding into the waistband of your flannel bottoms and slipping them off of you in one fluid motion. “Yours, too.” Within seconds you both lay against each other, nothing separating you but your underwear. Rob rolled his hips as he settled back against you and you could feel his hardness as it pressed against your simple cotton panties, already wet.

“Rob, please…” you sounded needy and you couldn’t find it in yourself to care.

“Tell me what you want, honey. Tell me how to make you feel good,” Rob’s beard tickled your neck as he licked lightly over your pulse point, before sucking a small mark there.

“I just want you inside me...now….please,” your words were broken as you felt and you hadn’t even had sex yet. “Condom?” He pulled away and reached down into his pants, pulling one out of his wallet. You took a moment to peel off your panties, tossing them over your head. He quickly ripped open the foil package and rolled it down his length after removing his own boxers. It was now time for your breath to catch in your throat. You weren’t sure what you were expecting. It wasn’t like he was a large guy, but you didn’t expect the whole package and then some.

Your body tensed and Rob quickly quelled your concerns, peppering you with kisses. “It’s okay, I won’t hurt you. I never want to hurt you.” You felt his hands on your soaking center. “You’re already so wet for me.” Rob lined himself up and slowly inched his way inside your hot channel.

“Ohhhh,” your breath came out in short gasps at the pressure, but he stilled his motions and you relaxed as he kissed you. The pressure soon gave way to pleasure as he pushed in another couple of inches. The fire spread through your veins as he slowly seated himself inside you fully.

“Oh God, Y/N, honey, you are so warm and tight,” Rob moaned. You could feel his arms shaking as he held himself above you. You gave your hips an experimental roll and pleasure rippled through you with the small motion. Rob growled lowly in his chest before pulling out and slowly thrusting back home. His pace was slow but steady, firm but loving.

“Oh God, Rob, faster. I need you to go faster,” your breaths come out in pants, sweat breaking out over your body.

Rob pulled one of your legs farther up his hip, changing the angle and thrusting faster. His forehead pressed to yours, slick with sweat. “Feel so good.”

“Oh yeah, that, yes, oh, God!” you screamed as each drag of his cock brushed you just perfectly, the friction of his pelvic bone rubbing just right. Rob had you falling over the edge faster than you had ever experienced before and you clenched around him, pulling him to his own release moments later.

Rob collapsed on top of you, but you were comforted and instinctively wrapped your arms around him, rubbing smooth circles over his back as it cooled. “I can’t believe we waited this long. Merry Christmas, Y/N.”

“Me neither. We’re never waiting that long for anything ever again. Merry Christmas, Baby,” you giggled and placed a quick kiss to his lips. “I worked up an appetite, let’s eat!”

Rob laughed and pulled out of you, both of you wincing at the feel. He got up and headed to the bathroom, you admiring his perky ass as he did. He returned quickly with a warm washcloth and wiped you down tenderly. “You were checking out my ass, weren’t you?”

“Can you blame me? My boyfriend has a nice one,” you boasted.

“Boyfriend, huh?” Rob perked up and slipped his boxers back on.

“Well, we spent all night kissing, had sex before breakfast, so I was hoping...:” you looked at him coyly.

“In that case, can I say that my girlfriend has a smokin’ body?” he asked you jokingly.

“Yeah, you can. But only to me, we don’t need everyone finding out.” You kissed him quickly before pulling your pants and tank top back on.

Taglist - you know what to do: @iwantthedean @d-s-winchester @just-a-touch-of-sass-and-fandoms @mamaredd123 @ellen-reincarnated1967 @tankcupcakes @katymacsupernatural @winchesterprincessbride @chelsea072498 @meeshw777  @tmccarney @ruprecht0420 @theoriginalvicki @hexparker @nanie5 @docharleythegeekqueen @megansescape @notnaturalanahi @impalaimagining @mrswhozeewhatsis @blacktithe7 @emoryhemsworth @dracotomanddeansprincess23 @bringmesomepie56 @devilgirlsarah @spnbaby-67 @emilycollins11 @myoutletforfanfiction @deansangelgirl @mizzzpink @jerk-bitch-and-an-angel @kayteonline @percussiongirl2017 @fanfreak07 @tattooedmomster13 @sandlee44 @moonstar86 @uttertrash--butlikecutetrash  @squirrel-moose-winchester @growningupgeek @charliebradbury1104 @evansrogerskitten @feelmyroarrrr @itseverythingilike @smoothdogsgirl @evyiione @ashstrom87 @supernatural-jackles @ryantherandomhero @love-kittykat21 @kathaswings @crispychrissy @paintrider13-blog  

AU Bingo Tags: @luci-in-trenchcoats @oneshoeshort

Rob tags: @natasha-cole​

[chriscanwell]

If the girl you’re dating wants you to text her more, what should you do and how do you best handle this situation to maintain attraction?

First, let’s take a look at an email from a reader who is going through this exact same problem. My response can be seen below in bold.

Note: all names and personal information have been changed for privacy reasons.

Subject: My girlfriend always wants me to text her

Hi Chris, I have a problem with my texting game. My girlfriend has complained to me 4 times now about not text her back soon enough or just texting her to let her know where I am or what I am doing. To be honest by applying the no contact rule I got her to fall in love with me and yes she tells me she loves me and she cant imagine her life without me. 

You said it yourself, when you applied the no contact rule you got her to fall in love with you. This tells me that she is just like every other woman. There are no exceptions. She might think she wants you to text her more, but the more you text her, the more she will lose attraction for you. This is a trap I have seen many men fall into.

Even last week she gave me attitude for not responding to her text, after only 2 hours, and letting her know what I was doing even thou I was at work. 

She has an expectation that needs to be broken and recalibrated. For your sake and for hers. Yes, if she is dated low value, beta men in the past, then there is no doubt that they would have been over-texting and being way too responsive simply because beta men have lots of time (because women are their life purpose). 

However, these men are in her past, so I guess whatever they were doing didn't work out too well for them. You are the one she is with and the one she is attracted to, don't forget that.

When we are together everything is so much fun and great but I have a lot of trouble in the texting area. Should I initate contact by saying good morning? 

No, this would be a mistake!

She’s from Colombia and tells me the men there always text and are much nicer through chat. I'm very confused with what she wants. Please help.

It’s one of those situations (which I’ve seen many times before), where a man listens to what the woman says and gives her what she says she wants by texting more—then she punishes him for it. 

She’s seeing if she can get you to change and you should see her behavior as a test. You have to remember, women don’t know what’s best for themselves and what they will respond to. 

She might think she wants you to text more, but the moment you do, she pulls away from you. That’s because her attraction triggers will turn off as soon as you start to become more responsive and available. 

Don’t listen to her words, follow her actions instead. Is she attracted to you? Yes she is. If you start being too responsive and texting her like she asks you to, you are giving her what she wants not what she needs. This is a huge mistake.

She might not like it, and she might put up resistance if you continue to allow her to initiate most of the texting. But it has to be this way for attraction to be maintained. You need the elements of space, mystery, challenge, and anxiety to maintain attraction in a relationship over a long period of time.

Whenever she says that she wants you to text her, tell her that you are a busy man and she can get in touch whenever she wants to and you will get back to her whenever you are available.

Texting Kills Attraction

As a man, you must put your focus onto your work and your mission in life. Ambition is what attracts women, not someone who is relationship focused.

Allow your girlfriend to be relationship focused and worry about the texting. The good news is: if she's worried about this it means she's feeling slightly anxious and she's thinking about you. 

They have done studies and found that women find men more attractive when they are uncertain about the man's feelings.

They have also done other important studies in countries (including the US, Canada, UK, Germany, Israel and China) and they found that responsive men––being men who text too much, initiate text messages, talk on the phone too much––are less attractive men in all of these countries without exception.

All women, regardless of culture, ethnicity and background, find responsive men less attractive.

Responsive Men Are Less Attractive

Remember, highly responsive men believe that the more they talk to a woman on the phone or via text messages, the more they will get the woman to commit to them and fall in love with them––this is an illusion and built on nothing more than the illusion of action.

These same responsive men believe that their constant communication will make the woman feel more secure and likely to stay in the relationship with them.

In reality, all these men end up doing is creating the perception that they are desperate and needy and will give into the woman's demands.

Then, slowly, over time, the woman loses attraction. The same thing will happen to you if you give in to her demands to text her more.

Even if she says, “All I'm asking for is a good morning message, is that too difficult?"

You must respond with: "I'm not going to send you a message because you have an expectation or because you asked me to send you a message. I'll send you a message when I feel like it. End of story."

This might sound harsh, but it's for your own good. I would hate to see you end up like so many other men who fail to heed this advice.

Men who listen to their girlfriends and start sending those good morning/good night text messages––only to see their girlfriends lose attraction for them and pull away.

She Will Test You

A won't break up with you if you reduce the amount of texting/calling you do, she is only testing you.

It's a change to her because it's new behavior. You went from being very responsive to being less responsive, this is going to have an impact and it's going to take a couple days to get used to the new situation for her.

She is, however, going to test you to make sure that this new change is real and you're not just playing games.

Your girlfriend no doubt has ex boyfriends who made this same mistake. They blew up her phone, they chased her, they sent a lot of messages, then she lost interest in them.

There is no rush to reach out to your girlfriend and respond. She is definitely testing you. She is trying to see if she can change your behavior and if she can emotionally unsettle you.

Although there is no need to be a cold fish here. I would simply tell her something like: 

"We have a great time when we're together, that's all that matters to me, our face-to-face time and the time I spend with you when I'm with you is more important than texting and calling. Just because I'm busy and we don't always talk over the phone, it doesn't mean I'm not thinking about you and you can reach out to me anytime you like."

That's it, there is no need for any other explanation. She won't go anywhere if you hold strong.

Once your girlfriend gets used to the new situation, she will accept it, she might kick up a stink occasionally, but her attraction for you will remain high when she sees you.

She Needs to Miss You

I get that in certain cultures (like South America) guys are really emotional and expressive, but it still turns off to women. You can't maintain attraction without bringing space, mystery, and challenging into the relationship.

If you felt that you were doing too much texting before and being too responsive and she pulled away, then you definitely want to slow down on the text messages.

More important than you texting her is allowing her to text you and chase you. If a woman is going to respect you and have high attraction for you, she must chase you.

Although you can't be completely withdrawn and distant all the time because it will create too much anxiety and she will shut down and start to feel that you do not care about her. 

In the same way, you cannot be too nice and available all the time otherwise she will get bored and tired of being around you. So you need to keep the balance, that's why it's much easier to mirror her emotions. 

However, it's always better to lean towards being more absent and distant in the relationship as opposed to being too nice and available. 

You must give her affection and intimacy and fun times, but you need to balance this out when you're away from with distance, space and time to think about you and miss you. 

[avasharpe]

I get those comments a lot because the multi-chapter fics I write are often very long and so it takes some time to update. So here are my two favorite replies.

1. I’m trying. I’ve only been doing this... for two fucking days since the last update, like shit, give me a fucking break!!

2. Hello dear reader, 

As I see you have never posted anything on Ao3, I know that you will never understand the true feeling of excitement you get when you open your email in the morning to find you have commented on one of your stories, in fact, your comment is the only comment on this chapter, which I was very excited for, as I have been disappointed by the lack of response. 

However, upon reading your comment, I was once again disappointed. You chose to read the chapter that I have published which is 13773 words,  and yet you have not commented on a single word. Instead, you chose to ask for an update but, you see I have ‘kept going.’ I have continued to write this story, but you don't know that because you do not have access to my work in progress draft document, that is currently at 11048 words, just FYI.

I don't think that you or others who make such comments truly understand the amount of work that goes into this story and other works that I and other writers publish on this site. You see every chapter or story I publish has to go through the initial writing process, then the first editing process and then a second and possibly a third depending on how long the story is and what changes I feel need to be made,  and then I send it over to my lovely beta reader. 

Rachel my lovely beta reader works as a lawyer in a major city and in her free time she chooses to edit my works, and for that, I am very grateful. However as she is a lawyer in a major city, it can sometimes take her a while to finish editing my drafts. I don't care, how long she takes to edit them. I am simply grateful that she chooses to do so with her free time and I myself can only work on this story in my limited free time. 

I am a full-time college student right now with a part-time job and I volunteer in one of the local schools, as I am studying to be a teacher. All three of these things take up a huge majority of my time during the day, as I'm sure you would know if you talked to any college student, much less one that works and volunteers 3 days a week. That's not even getting into any of the other things I do in my free time such as, get together with friends, read, workout, talk a walk with my dog, or watch TV.

Recently my schools have shut down due to the coronavirus, I have finished all of my classes and I'm currently on spring break which has been extended into the middle of April. As such I have had more time to work on the next chapter of this story as well as other projects I am interested in pursuing. Because my writing is my own and sometimes I don't want to work on the same thing every day for weeks on end. I need other things to do, but as you are only a reader I suspect that you do not understand this or anything else that goes into the production of a story. 

So I'm saying this to you now in hopes that you and others who choose to make similar comments on my stories in the future will understand that I am still doing my best to pursue this, but there are other things that require my attention before I am able to sit down and write this story. I hope that in the future you will reconsider comments such as the one you made and instead reflect on what you have read and chose to make a comment on that instead of the update schedule the writer had decided works best for them. So thank you dear reader for your disappointing comment.

So like do fanfic writers respond to the people that review? Like people that don’t ask questions and are just like “please update” do you answer or just leave it be?

Asking for myself bc I’m rethinking social etiquette and idk if I should answer the people

[xfilesnews]

FanWorks Wednesdays - Vickie Moseley

Gather round kids, we’re going to tell you a story from the X-Files Fandom days of old. For the “old timers” like me, join in and smile at the remembrances of EMXC, Gossamer, and the old alt.tv newsgroups. This week’s author was there for all of it. Vickie Moseley and her stories were a staple in the fandom for years. Her fantastic body of work will keep you occupied for ages, with 252 credits to her name on Gossamer alone. Vickie also contributed to the “Virtual Seasons” project that spun off to continue the stories of Mulder and Scully in a different direction when Season 8 took to the TV airwaves. If you’ve never explored their seasons, bookmark that page for when you’ve finished reading this interview and then dive in.

If you like family fic, “Flight Into Egypt”  is a long series I revisit frequently when I need to forget that Mulder and Scully didn’t get to raise their son. It soothes that pain quite nicely. Another favorite series is “By Her Side” which is told through Billy Scully Jr.’s eyes. Vickie does a wonderful job looking at Big Brother Bill as something other than a jerk and fandom’s favorite punching bag. In “Joy and Sorrow,” Maggie Scully guides us through the moments of Mulder’s rebirth in “Dead Alive.” It’s touching and sweet and will have you wishing they would have given us more screen time with Mom Scully in Season 8.

I could go on and on with recs but I’ll cut to the chase and get to the interview. We talked with Vickie about writing, inspiration, fandom, and of course The X-Files.

How long have you been a Phile?

I stumbled onto the fandom in March 1995.  I'd been a fan of the show since it first aired (actually, I was a fan once I read the TV Guide Fall Preview issue for Fall 1993 and saw the small blurb about the 'new science fiction show about aliens').  When my husband 'gave' me the internet for my birthday I immediately typed 'X-Files' into the yahoo search engine and after some sites dedicated to the actors and character bios, the old Rutgers Fan Fiction site came up.  From there, I was hooked.

What was your first episode?

The Pilot. I saw every episode as it aired up to Season 8. I watched “Within” and couldn't stand the changes so I resorted to reading about the episodes on Haven until David Duchovny reappeared. I am very much a Mulderist. I have only watched “Trust No 1” and “The Truth” from Season 9.

How long have you been writing fic?

September 1995 was my first posting -- “Aftermath.” You can read it, warts and all. I was attempting to write a fill in the blank for the summer after the season 2 finale “Anasazi.” Within a week of posting the story became 'alt.universe' because Chris Carter went in a totally different direction than I had taken.

What inspired you to start writing?

Guilt. Back then we were a small community. People were always begging for more stories (myself included) and since there weren't that many writers, everyone was encouraged to 'give back' by writing stories of their own. I got a lot of encouragement from the early writers and the brave souls who had fan fic sites. Later, with the Ohio State archives (this archive was the birth of what became Gossamer, check here for more information ) and the .alt.x-files.fanfiction newsgroup and EMXC (E-Mail X Creative) it was almost a requirement that if you wanted more stories, you better write some of them.

Who is your favorite XF character to write?              

My favorite character to write is Scully. I can get in her head. I can hear her voice as clear as a bell as I'm writing her.  She's not my favorite character, however. I think I see too much of myself. All the flaws and dark places that I would like to change in myself, I transpose onto Scully. Sometimes I just want to shake her!

Are there any XF characters you dislike or find too difficult to write?

Krycek was always a problem to write, even in the Virtual Seasons. And I can't write Doggett. I've tried but my annoyance with the character always shines through. Same is true of Diana Fowley. I once vowed to kill her off in a story and damned if she didn't slip the noose and come out alive. I was very happy Carter did the deed for me.

Is there a story you're most proud of or that's a favorite?

“Out of the Cold” is probably my favorite of the stories that I wrote solo. But the most fun was writing with a partner. I've had such wonderful partners and group writing exercises. I am also very proud of the work we did on the Virtual Season.

With so many archives to choose from these days, where is the best place to find your work?

Gossamer has almost all of my stuff and my own website has it too. Many thanks to Mimic for giving me a home: http://vickiemoseley.mimicsmusings.com/

You've been well known in the fandom for a long time, do you still write for XF or have your skills been focused elsewhere?

Lately, I've been involved in politics to the exclusion of other activities. I worked on a local race last fall and I've been advocating for healthcare since January. I'm also doing work on a grant project and I keep an eye on our legislature so all of that keeps me away from fan fiction.

If you do still write XF fic, where does your inspiration come from after many years?  If you're not, is there anything in particular that caused you to stop writing XF fic?

I haven't written much in the past few years. I could chalk it up to writer's block but it feels like more than that. I still love the fandom and I reread a lot of my favorites. I guess I was hoping for a real revival. I was excited by the prospect of a Season 10 with the original cast, but once it aired I found I really only liked two of the episodes and the way the relationship was presented between Mulder and Scully just left so very little room to play. It didn't mimic real life, it was sadder than real life. There seemed no way to 'rescue' them and that's the type of story I prefer to write. I'm not big on 'angst for angst sake' and it almost seemed on overdrive in S10, especially the season opener and finale. So I haven't been able to come up with anything by myself. I did help a little with the last Virtual Season story “Aveum” that was posted recently. Not to spoil too much, the story contains an infant and at the time it was being written I was helping my daughter and her new baby so it was almost too easy to write.

Have you written your own original characters outside of fandom?

Only as far as drawing up a few characters. One day I'll do something with them . . . maybe.

Anything you’d like to share about your writing process?

I tend to write the stories that play out in my mind. Most of the time I just start typing and 'the characters' take over and write the story. There have been times I read what I've written and think “wow, where did that come from?” But I write as therapy. I used to joke that fan fiction is much cheaper than Zoloft or a therapist. It was a way to escape after a particularly painful episode in my life and after it got me over the hump, I just kept going.

What do you find most difficult about writing?

Making it happen when it's not there. When it's there ('it' being the spark, the life force, whatever you want to call it -- the Muse), when the story is inside me sometimes I can't get to the computer fast enough, I can't type it fast enough (as my beta readers will attest). But when I sit and stare at a blank screen, even when I have an idea floating around in my head and it just won't happen -- then it just hurts.

Do you have a favorite author? (fanfic or published!)

My favorite authors published are Ray Bradbury, Issac Asimov and Arthur C. Clarke (hardcore sci-fi -- no dragons, no elves). 

My favorite fan fic writers are too numerous to mention (go to the Authors Index at Gossamer and start with A). I love reading Dawn's “Blood Ties” series -- I read it every year at least once. I read Susan Proto's “Life Cycles” over and over again. I've read all of MalibuSunet's stories a dozen times. Same is true of Suzanne Bickerstaff's “The Magician” (the ONLY fantasy I'll admit to reading). Dee_Ayy's stories are my Mulder fix, especially “Short of Breath.” I'm right now rereading Kronos' “The Abyss Looks Back.” All of her stories just draw me in and won't let go.  I'm still mourning that she never finished “Ascent into Hell.”

Is there any advice you'd give to aspiring writers?

They say “write every day” and I would imagine that's good advice, but I would say simply “write.” Write even if you don't know where the story is going, or if you just have an idea for a character or just the setting or even just an outline of a plot. My youngest son is going to college for game design but all his life he's had ideas for games and stories. He tells me his stories in the car and I try to get him to write them down. My second to the youngest son actually has written a few stories -- now I just want him to finish them and get them published.

Anything else you'd like to share that I missed?

I have met so many dear friends in this fandom, particularly through fan fiction, writers and those who read. I love them all. I would like to thank everyone I partnered with: Susan Proto, Donna Honeycutt, Sally Bahnsen, Summer, Michelle, Starfleetofficer1, Martin, Theresa Jahn, Suzanne Bickerstaff, dtg, all the VS producers -- if I forget anyone chalk it up to my advanced years. Writing with someone is by far the most fun anyone could have.  I used to joke that it was like playing 'Barbie and Ken' in the backyard with my cousins.

Also, I would like to thank all the people over the years who have read my stories and sent me feedback. You have no idea how much those emails brightened my day! It is such a rush to know that someone somewhere (some pretty far away, even) read something I wrote and liked it enough to send me a note. The nearly instant gratification that comes with feedback is one of the reasons I wrote so much. I just loved hearing from people.

I've had other shows I loved, Star Trek (original and Next Gen), Battlestar Gallactica, Probe (if anyone remembers that one) but X-Files was the first time I got so engaged I wanted to be part of it. From that perspective, fanfiction kept the series alive for me and brought me into a wonderful community. Oh, there have been some all out wars (shipper v. noromos, Mulder v. Doggett, original pairings v. next gen, etc) but overall in fan fiction there really is room for everyone. If you like slash stories, or stories that center around Skinner or even stories around Kim, his assistant, fan fiction is the place. When Melissa Scully was killed off in the series, she lived on in fan fiction. When baby William was given up for adoption, he was reunited with his biological parents many times over in fan fiction. Some of the stories are so well done that you will swear you saw the episode (what season did Mulder's brother Grey show up? <wink>) If you have never picked up a fanfic and read it, I encourage you to do so now.  If you haven't read anything for a while, go to Gossamer and find something. It will be like the series never ended.

[cynthiabrandel]

TK White is a writer, editor, wanderer, and lover of all things fantastical. Most days you can find her scaling castle walls on daring rescue missions, brewing gruesome potions to destroy her arch nemesis, fighting mythical gods hellbent on taking over the world and, of course, slaying fire-breathing dragons through it all. Whew. Her days are busy. Okay…so she might also spend her days living vicariously through her characters.  

In reality, she lives in Kansas City with her husband and fearsome ten-pound dog, Beasty. She spends her days teaching and her nights dreaming up fantastical worlds. 

When did you first realize you wanted to be a writer?

Oh gosh, I feel like this question is similar to the question, Which came first? The chicken or the egg? I’m not sure when I first knew I wanted to be a writer. I’ve written as long as I can remember, and it was always something that was just in me, something I couldn’t deny or ignore.

How long does it take you to write a book?

Typically, I average about 2,000 words a day. So my novellas only take a few weeks to write, and a full-length novel (90,000 words), takes a few months.

What is your work schedule like when you’re writing?

I keep myself on a pretty strict schedule. I’m a professional book editor, so I edit from 8:00-12:00 everyday, then I work on emails, invoices, marketing from 12:30-2:00. After 2:00 is normally my writing time. I try to be done writing by 4:00 or 5:00 everyday so I can have some time to relax at night. Of course, there are days when the schedule gets thrown out the window.

Where do you get your information or ideas for your books?

I don’t know that there’s just one source. Sometimes, ideas just come to me while I’m grocery shopping (which is why I keep a writing journal in my purse). Other times, I’ll be watching a TV show and an idea will come to me, or I’ll be talking to someone and they say something that sparks an idea. Ideas are everywhere for me!

What do you like to do when you’re not writing?

When I’m not writing, I am a travel junkie. I’ve lived in four countries and traveled to over 18. I have a passion for seeing the world and learning as much about other cultures as I can. Traveling is also great for new ideas! In addition to traveling, I love reading. If I’m not reading, you’ll usually find me curled up with a new book.

What does your family think of your writing?

I am really lucky in that my family is super supportive of my writing career. My parents always believed in me, they encouraged me to get my B.A. in writing, and they just have this unwavering faith in my writing ability. It’s the same with my husband. I’m so lucky to have a husband who supports my dream and believes wholeheartedly in my writing.

What is your go to food/beverage when you are writing?

When I write, I’m always #teamtea. I gotta have my tea to start off the day, and it sustains me!

What do you think makes a good story?

I’m not even sure there can be a definition for this because what makes a good story is so subjective based on the reader and what they want. But I think at the end of the day, a good story is one that keeps readers turning the page.

What do you wish you had known before you decided to write your first book?

I wish I had known a lot of things! When I wrote my first book, I knew nothing about adverbs, or show vs. tell, or passive voice. I just wrote! And in a way, it was freeing, but it another way, it was a mess! I also wish I had known that it’s okay to write for the experience and to not rush the publication part.

What advice would you give a novice writer who wants to take on the task of writing their first book?

I would advise a first time writer to immerse yourself in the writing community as much as possible. Being a writer can be really isolating, and it’s so important to have community to lift you up when you’re down. It’s also so helpful because you’ll find beta readers, critique partners, and friends when you join the writing community.

What advice would you give a novice writer who is about to edit their first draft?

I have a unique take on this since I’m both an editor and an author. I think it’s really important to learn when it comes to editing. Read editors’ blogs, learn from your fellow writers, read books on story structure and self-editing. The editing process is really important for putting that need shine on your project.

 A Darkness Found—

Before she hired a huntsman to steal a heart, she surrendered her own.

After years of torture and abuse from her wicked mother—a woman consumed by her lust for dark magic—Grishelda finally finds happiness in her marriage to a king. The joy is fleeting when the king’s daughter grows jealous and threatens to drive a wedge between the newly married couple. Grishelda knows if she has any chance at a happily ever after, she must act—even if that means using dark magic. With each use of the seductive magic, Grishelda risks ruining the love she never thought she’d find and succumbing to the darkness she’s always feared.

A Darkness Within—

A genie in a lamp shattered his soul, but love can piece it back together.

Exiled and on the run, Kumar must slip into a realm of nightmares to rescue a princess, deliver her to a pompous prince, and release a deadly bounty from his head. The fierce princess isn’t the damsel in distress he imagined, and Kumar fights a growing attraction to her while fending off flying rugs, wretched insects, and deadly jinns. As more nightmares from his past creep in, Kumar realizes the princess isn’t the only one who needs rescuing. If he has any hope of redeeming himself, he must face the past that haunts him and fight the darkness within.

Genre: YA fantasy (fairytale retellings)

Number of Pages: 122

Print Format:  Paperback & Ebook

Is it part of a series?  If yes, how many books are going to be included in the series? And where does this book stand (what number)?

This is part of a trilogy called The Darkness Trilogy. A Darkness Found is book 1, A Darkness Within is book 2, and book 3, A Darkness Stolen will be released in March of 2019.

Who are your favorite character(s) and why?

I love both Grishelda and Kumar because they’re misunderstood villains with a story to tell. Both of them are so determined to be good and both struggle with the darkness inside. I love them because they’re lost souls just hoping someone will reach out to them.

Favorite Quotes:

“All this time, he’d been trying to protect her from her nightmares. Silly villain. He should’ve been protecting her from himself.” “A kiss was worth a thousand words, and oh what a story theirs told.”

Where can your book be purchased?

A Darkness Found on Amazon

A Darkness Within on Amazon

Places where your book has been recognized.

Ania from the https://thestarslistensite.wordpress.com/ has reviewed both of my books. She gave A Darkness Found five stars and A Darkness Within four stars

Any other tidbits you would like to share.

I’m obsessed with fairytale retellings, but I love dark and gritty characters, which is why my retellings focus on the villains. I think every story has two sides, and it’s important to hear both sides.

What makes your book stand out among the other books in the genre?

I think my books are unique retellings from the villains’ perspectives. I haven’t seen a lot of retellings about Snow White’s “evil” stepmother, and I haven’t seen any retellings about the “evil” magician from Aladdin, so I think these stories shed light on lesser known villains.

What would you tell a potential reader (teetering on the fence) to sway them to read your book?

If you love romance, magic, adventure, and fairytales, then you’ll love my novellas!

Social Media Links

Twitter https://twitter.com/tkwhiteauthor

Instagram https://www.instagram.com/tkwhiteauthor/

Website/blog www.tkwhiteauthor.com

Author Spotlight: TK White TK White is a writer, editor, wanderer, and lover of all things fantastical. Most days you can find her scaling castle walls on daring rescue missions, brewing gruesome potions to destroy her arch nemesis, fighting mythical gods hellbent on taking over the world and, of course, slaying fire-breathing dragons through it all.

[type2diabetestreatments-blog]

Ask D'Mine: Afraid of the Flu Shot?

New Post has been published on http://type2diabetestreatment.net/diabetes-mellitus/ask-dmine-afraid-of-the-flu-shot/

Ask D'Mine: Afraid of the Flu Shot?

Yep, we're sticking with our fear theme for the month of October. Who's afraid of a big bad flu shot? You might be surprised!

Only way to find out is to brave this edition of our weekly diabetes advice column, Ask D'Mine, hosted by veteran type 1, diabetes author and community educator Wil Dubois.

Need help navigating life with diabetes? Email us at AskDMine@diabetesmine.com

Nancy from Pennsylvania, type 1, writes: I was wondering if any other PWD has had this happen to them. I was diagnosed with Type 1 five years ago at the age of 48. The first two years of my diabetic life I received an annual flu shot. However, 2 years ago I started wearing an insulin pump. I went for my annual flu shot and within two weeks of getting my shot, my basal rate increased two-fold. Not Happy! I discussed this with my endo and she really had no explanation for this increase. This basal increase was permanent. I haven't gotten a flu shot since and my basal hasn't increased. I've had a consistent A1C of 5.8-6.0 so it's not like I don't take care of myself. Afraid to get the Flu shot again...

Wil@Ask D'Mine answers: Yeah, I know: we talked about the flu shot here at Ask D'Mine just the other day. But this was so frickin' bizarre I just had to talk about it (no offense Nancy). First, I gotta say, I've never seen anything like this happen. I've never heard of anything like this happening. I even spent some time with my favorite search engine and couldn't find anyone else reporting anything like this. Well, there was this one guy, but he was also talking about his alien abduction experiences and his past life as Elvis, so I wasn't inclined to give his flu shot story much credence.

You, however, don't seem to be a kook, so we need to figure out what's up with your basal. Next, I fired off an email to an endo friend to ask her if she'd ever heard of anything like this happening before and her reply was "Nope. And cannot think of a mechanism that would cause it either."

So flu shot 101: A traditional flu shot is just a vial of dead flu. It's used to prime the body's immune system to recognize the live flu virus. The nose spray stuff is live flu, but it's had the crap kicked out of it first so that it's very weak. You can think of either one as training wheels on a kid's bike. You use the training wheels to learn how to ride. Once ya got it down, you take the wheels off and you're fine. Your body needs to use flu training wheels for about two weeks after the shot, then it can tackle real live flu viruses.

So for two weeks your body is developing its immune response. I could see, maybe, by some stretch of the imagination, that you might need a wee bit more insulin during that period. But a two-fold increase? Holy crap! And then one that stays around? Also deepening the mystery is the fact you'd had two annual flu shots previously with no ill effect (but of course every year it's a different strain). Also weird is the fact that the basal issue hit pretty much at the end of the immune response period, not at its onset.

You're not gonna like what I have to say next.

I think whatever caused your basal change had nothing at all to do with the flu shot. Issues of cause and effect can be really tricky. That's why it takes so many months to investigate plane crashes. A plane goes down in a storm. Did the storm cause it? Maybe. Or maybe the engine failed. Or the crew was drunk. Or the wing broke.

So bear with me for a moment. Assume, just for the sake of argument, that the flu shot wasn't the cause of your permanent two-fold jump in basal. What else could have caused it?

One thing that jumps to mind has to do with the unique kind of diabetes you have. You're an adult-onset type 1 like me. We're kind of an odd-ball set. (Note that this past week was an awareness campaign about this kind of diabetes, called LADA.) One of the more bizarre elements of adult onset is an extremely extended honeymoon phase. The honeymoon phase is like Custer's Last Stand at the Battle of the Little Langerhan. Picture the poor troops of the Beta Company surrounded by the circling bloodthirsty savages of the immune system, intent on great bodily harm. (Attention beloved Native American readers: no offense intended, just go with the flow of the analogy, OK?) The insulin-producing beta cells keep up the fight as long as they can, but ultimately, they are killed to the last man by the body's haywire immune system.

The honeymoon phase is actually a pain in the ass, as far as I'm concerned—both from clinical and personal experience. Some days the pancreas can squirt out some insulin. Other days it can't. Some days it squirts out quite a bit, other days not so much. It's like juggling feral cats. It's a blessing when the last troops fall because then all the insulin has to come from outside your body and, frankly, it's easier to control that way. Fewer variables.

In most younger type 1s, the honeymoon phase lasts a few months. Rarely more than six, but sometimes up to a full year. In adult onset folks, however, the honeymoon can run longer. A year and a half. Maybe two.

Three years seems a stretch, but that could be what happened to you. It could be that your body had some stable endogenous insulin production for several years, but the savage immune system finally broke the lines of the last standing beta cells and wiped them out. Did the flu shot have anything to do with it? Ummm.... Maybe? I mean the flu shot is designed to kick the immune system in the pants, after all. Did it stir up the natives, as it were? I don't know. This is probably where I'm supposed to say, "Damn it Jim, I'm a writer, not a doctor."

We should also look to your pump. How long had you been on the pump when this happened? It looks like you got it the same year you got the killer flu shot. Normally you'd use a lower total daily dose of basal on a pump than with shots, but your mileage may vary. Are you sure you had all the pump settings dialed in right? This generally takes some time.

I should also ask if you changed the style of infusion set on your pump. Oh, and did you...errr... you know... gain any weight? Any changes to other meds? I've got quite a long list in my office of meds that tend to f—[D&R1] , up blood sugar. Various psych meds, steroids, and hepatitis C meds tend to be the worst, but blood sugar can also be raised (requiring more basal) by dozens and dozens of meds for every malady under the sun, even including cholesterol-lowering drugs and some vitamins.

I can understand that you are not happy, but does it really make a difference how much insulin your pump pumps so long as your A1C is so awesome? (And I am very jealous, by the way.) And I can understand why you are afraid to get another flu shot. You have visions of another two-fold increase dancing in your head. I mean, if that actually happened every time you got a flu shot you'd need to get a super-sized pump in a couple of years!

So I validate your fear. Once burned, twice shy. I get it. I understand it. I don't believe your flu shot caused the basal issue, but there is no way to ever know for sure. Crazy unheard of things happen every day, right?

The flu shot is part and parcel of good diabetes therapy, but it's not like you're going to die without it. Well, you might. I mean, you could get flu, get pneumonia, and die. Happens to almost 50,000 people a year; but you could just as easily be run over by a FedEx truck while jaywalking.

I guess I wouldn't blame you for skipping the shot if that's the choice you've made.

This is not a medical advice column. We are PWDs freely and openly sharing the wisdom of our collected experiences — our been-there-done-that knowledge from the trenches. But we are not MDs, RNs, NPs, PAs, CDEs, or partridges in pear trees. Bottom line: we are only a small part of your total prescription. You still need the professional advice, treatment, and care of a licensed medical professional.

Disclaimer: Content created by the Diabetes Mine team. For more details click here.

Disclaimer

This content is created for Diabetes Mine, a consumer health blog focused on the diabetes community. The content is not medically reviewed and doesn't adhere to Healthline's editorial guidelines. For more information about Healthline's partnership with Diabetes Mine, please click here.

Type 2 Diabetes Treatment Type 2 Diabetes Diet Diabetes Destroyer Reviews Original Article

[supersoldierslover]

A New Beginning Part 4

Summary:  After moving a lot, you found yourself in a small town in the middle of Europe ready for a new start. You see yourself falling in love for the city and developing a crush for the cute stranger that you never had the courage to talk to until you’re forced to. (Modern Au)

Pairing: Steve x Reader

Words: 2884

Warnings: Fluffy and secrets.

Thanks to @widowsfics for being my beta

Credits to the gifs owners

PART 1  PART 2  PART 3

After dinner with Steve, your relationship with him was moving really fast and slow at the same time. During the next few weeks, you two saw each other every morning for your walks. You never imagined that you could love mornings as much as you do right now.

You two also went to a few more dates, after two amazing dinners, your third date was at this amazing ice cream shop for milkshakes. It was a fun and simple date.  The fourth date you two watched Casablanca on the drive in, it was a special night.  There was something really romantic about watching a movie and sharing popcorn on a cold night.

And your fifth date Steve took you dance. When he said that you two were going to a dance you imagined that he was taking you to a night club with loud music and expensive drinks. But no, he took you to a salon where classical music was playing and couples were having the time of their life’s.

Sure most of the couples were twice or three times your age, but they look so happy and in love that you couldn’t help but smile.

Sometimes you feel like you live in a crazy town, like the one of Gilmore Girls Stars Hollow. There was always some kind of event happening, it could be a fair, or the night of classic on the drive in or some kind of celebration.

Even though that you and Steve spent a lot of time together and you two are going out for almost a month the relationship was moving slowly, especially physically. Steve didn’t have a problem with being affectionate, he was always holding your hand, hugging you and kissing you.

The problem was that the kisses never turned out into something more, his hands never explored your body and he never tried anything. At first, you were thankful for this, all other guys you were involved with always moved too fast, but now you two were together for almost a month and nothing happened besides exchanged kisses and cuddles on the couch.

You sighed, putting your hair in your ponytail and going outside “You are late, sweetheart.” Steve says kissing your cheek, taking Blueberry’s leash from your hands and giving you a cup of coffee “My bed was so comfy this morning that I had to stay there for a few more minutes. Did you wait for long?” You asked worriedly, the fall had started and you’d hate it if he got sick waiting for you on this cold morning.

“Not really, I also spent a little more time in bed this morning.” You agree, you lean on his body, the cold didn't make easy for you to wake up earlier and you are more tired than ever “So I was thinking, maybe we could have dinner at my place tonight?”

You smile, you have never been to his place before and you can’t deny that you are curious to know what he´s been hiding “I love this idea, are you going to cook for me?” You ask playfully as he hugs you by the waist “I can try, or I can order some food. I just you want you there tonight. You can even take Blueberry if you want.”

“Are you inviting me to spend the night?” What else would you have to take your dog to a date for? “No, I mean yes but only if you want to. I am not suggesting anything, really take your comfiest pajamas and I have a guest bedroom if you prefer…”

“Steve, shut up. I would love to spend the night, but Blueberry is going to stay at home, she likes to be alone.” You say coltishly, kissing him; you loved when he got flustered “I can pick you up from work if you want.” You shake your head no, you have to pack a few things and make sure that Blueberry has enough water and food for the night.

“Text me the address, I will meet you there around seven?” He nods, kissing you “It is a plan.”

After you two finish your walk, Steve goes home for a quick shower and gets ready for a long day at work “Morning, Wanda.” He says to his assistant, as she hands him his coffee “Morning, boss. Mr. Stark called, he will be here next week for a meeting, I emailed the details. And Mr. Barnes asked for you to call him back as soon as possible.”

He enters in his office with Wanda following behind him. It’s not even 8 in the morning and he has already so much stuff to do “What did James want?” He asks looking at the contract in front of him; Tony was not going to be happy with that agreement “He was asking about the prosthetics and how the designers are going. Also, he asked if you bought your plane tickets and…. Well, how were you this week.”

“I will give him a call, did you send the tulips?”  Wanda nods “Yes, they were already delivered white and yellow ones.” Good, these were her favorites “Do you need anything else, boss?”  Wanda asks with a smile on her lips, she works for almost 8 months and so far she was the best assistant he had ever had.

She was smart, quick and didn’t take his bushtit “Yes, I need you to go the store and buy some things for me and leave them at my place.” He hates to ask Wanda to do personal things, but he knew that he wouldn’t have time to do it himself.

She smiles when she sees the list “Date night, boss? This is a really good wine. So when are going to meet the special girl? Are you taking her to the fundraiser next month?” He found odd how happy she was for him, but then he remembers the reputation that he has on this company: he is like a lone wolf.

“How do you know that?” She arched her eyebrows at him “Steve, please, you don’t need to be a detective to figure this one out. For the last month you had this big smile on your face and now you are asking me to buy expensive wine and actual food for you. Not take outs or frozen pizza. So when are we going to meet her?”

Steve shrugs, these events are so boring that he usually escapes them as soon as he can but maybe with you, these things aren’t going to be so bad “Maybe in the fundraiser.” The assistant writes something in her notebook before asking “Do you need anything else? Candles? Candy? Flowers?”

“No, maybe candles… no, follow the list. And Wanda please, don’t let me stay late, kick me out of my office if it’s necessary.” She laughs “You got it, boss. She must be really something special, I never saw you leaving the office on time.”

The rest of the day goes by without him even noticing. Between analyzing contracts, reunions with suppliers and looking at new designers, he hadn’t stop for a second. He even called Bucky on his lunch time to update him on the prosthetics matter and about his relationship with you.

The conversation with his best friend wasn’t easy. Bucky always worried too much about him and always asked too many questions. He told Bucky that you were going to spend the night in his place for the first time today and how he was thinking about inviting you for the fundraiser next month.

Bucky thinks he should do it, that you are good for him and that you should know about his real job. Of course, he was also excited to meet you, the girl who was able to make his friend smile. The end of the conversation was still playing on his mind.

“You should tell her everything, the latter you tell her the worst she is going to react.” He rolls his eyes at his friend, he wishes it was that simple “If I want her to run away and never see her again, sure.” He says sarcastically.

“You are so stubborn and dramatic. She is not going to run away, it’s not like you have a secret family here in New York. Remember the advice that you gave me when I was having problems with Nat? You said just talk to her and now I am asking for you for do the same. Tell her about your job, at least because if she founds out in any other way she is going to be pissed.”

He hates when Bucky is right, and lately, he was always right, not that he was going to admit this out loud “Bucky, I told her I was a designer and I still do that and it is my favorite part of the job. And second I will tell her, but you know that as soon as I tell her I am going have to explain how someone so young became a CEO and then everything. So give me a break.”

“Of course, Captain... Can’t wait to meet her next month.” He can imagine the smug smile that Bucky has in his face right now “Don’t call me that, you know that I hate this fucking nickname.” Since he started to work for Stark, he was good with leadership and solving problems. He was the perfect leader for any project, especially the ones that were designed to fail.

He was a good Captain, especially of sinking ships.

“Are you ok, Steve?” He notices the change of tone in his friend, he knew what the reason for this call was made with this question “Not really, but I have been worse.” He was glad that he was not going to be alone tonight “Me and Nat are going to visit her today, do you want us to say anything?”

He takes a deep breath “Just tell her that I love her and that I miss her, Wanda sent the flowers already.”

“Boss it is time to go.” Wanda says taking him away from his thoughts “Thank you, Wanda. Go home and rest.”

At home he prepares the recipe like his mother used to, praying that he can do his mother’s meal justice. He decides to cook spaghetti a carbonara, the recipe was easy enough for him not to screw up.

You are 15 minutes late, in your defense it is not your fault. You were busy baking a chocolate lava cake for the both of you, maybe it was your fault but dessert is very important. You knock on Steve’s door, you can’t help but laugh when you see him.

Steve was still wearing his work clothes: a nice blue dress shirt and formal pants, but the best part of his whole outfit was the apron saying: kiss the cook. You gave him a peck on his lips before saying “You look adorable.” He pulls you into another kiss “And you look beautiful. Come in, let me help you.”

He takes your purse, letting you get in and you start to look around. His apartment is beautiful and spacious but was so impersonal... it was like opening a decoration magazine and recreate whatever was on the page.

The walls were white, he had a black leather couch in the middle of the living room and a coffee table in the same color. There was a big blue fluffy rug close to the couch, a few decorations in red but that was it, no pictures or anything that said that someone actually lived in there.

“I brought a cake, the best one you are ever going to eat.” You say putting the cake in his hands, he leads you to the kitchen who follows the same color scheme that the living room “I bet it is, everything you do is amazing. I hope you like my cooking if it sucks we are going to order pizza.”

“Don’t worry so much, and it smells amazing. If it tastes half as good we are going to have an amazing meal.” He gives you a glass of wine, smiling at you “I have an invitation for you, you can say no if you want... But next month I have this thing in the company… it is a fund raiser and it is going to be boring. But I would love if you come with me.”

He runs his fingers thru his hair, sometimes he is so confident and other times he is like a high school boy with his first girlfriend “You sure know how to convince a girl, but yes I would love to come with you. Even though that a month is far away from now, are you sure?” He nods, hugging you “100 % sure, actually there are a few people who want to meet my girlfriend.”

It feels so good to hear he said the word girlfriend out loud. You knew Steve liked you but it was good to know where you two stand “Do you talk with your friends about me?” You ask following him to the living room, where you are about to have your meal “Just my best friend and my assistant but I do consider her a friend.”

He pulls the chair for you, you look at the table in front of you. The spaghetti looks amazing, but what really caught your attention is how he set the table with candles and flowers “This is amazing, Steve.”

The food was good, it wasn’t amazing but it was very good for someone’s first attempt to cook. You two ate making small talk. You told him about the new employer in the pet store, about the puppies that were for adoption there and how you almost took them all home with you.

Steve talked a little about his day, he didn’t give you too many details but it sounds chaotic. He looks tired, not just work tired but like he didn’t sleep last night “Are you okay, babe?”  You ask when the conversation fell into silence “Yes… this week has been kind of hard for me… and I didn’t have too much sleep last night.”

You catch his hand on yours playing with his palm “Do you want to talk about it?” He nods, you get up off your chair sitting on his lap. He holds you close, hiding his face on your shoulder “Yesterday it was my mother death’s birthday, she passed away a couple of years ago…”

Your heart aches for him, you notice that he was kind of distant but for you, he just had a lot to do on work,. You never imagined that was going through something like that “I am sorry, Steve.”  Your hands play with his hair, you don’t know what to say to him.

You remember how painful was for you to lose your grandmother, how around the anniversary of her death and the holidays you can’t stop thinking about her “You two were close?” He nods, you wonder why he invited you here today.

It was oblivious that he was not in the right place of mind right now, maybe he just didn’t want to be alone, maybe he thought that he could go by this date without getting affected “My dad died when I was a child. I don’t remember much of him, I just know that I look a lot like him. It was always just us, she was the best mom.”

You catch his face in your hands, making him look at you “I am sorry, this should be a fun date and I am here crying on your blouse.”  You clean a few tears out of his face and kiss his forehead “I am not, I am glad that you trust me enough to open up about this. Why don’t we lie down for a minute?”

“Are you going home?” You can hear the despair in his voice, he doesn’t want to be left alone and you would never leave him in this condition “Only if you want me to.” He shakes his head a no, he takes your hand and leads you to the bedroom. There he takes his shoes off and lies on the bed “Please, stay.” You lay by his side, he rests his head on your chest while caressing his back.

“She was a nurse, she worked a lot of crazy hours but she was always there for me. She took care of me when I was sick. And trust me, I was sick all the time growing up… I just miss her. She was so good at giving me advice, she always knew… I remember this one time I was sick and she skipped work just to take care of me. We watched old movies, she made me soup and cuddled with me all day.”

Steve tells you a few more stories about his mom and growing up. You wish you could say something to make this better, but all you can do is listen and give him some physical comfort. Eventually, he fell asleep, holding your waist with his head on your chest. You kiss his forehead “Goodnight, Stevie.” You say, closing your eyes.

Part 5

Please Leave feedback, I really like this series and i believe this can be a really good one. So share your opinions with me. And of course, if you want to be tagged let know.

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Ask D'Mine: Treating a Diabetic "Junkie," and Considering "Insulinotropic" Foods

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Ask D'Mine: Treating a Diabetic "Junkie," and Considering "Insulinotropic" Foods

Need help navigating life with diabetes? Ask D'Mine! That would be our weekly advice column, hosted by veteran type 1, diabetes author and community educator Wil Dubois. This week, Wil takes on the issues of doctors seeing "junkies" rather than patients struggling with addiction, and the insulinotropic effect of certain foods on PWDs.

Got your own questions? Email us at AskDMine@diabetesmine.com

Anonymous from Alabama, type 2, writes: I was diagnosed 5 months ago with type 2 diabetes. I assume I've had it for a few years, but I have no insurance and didn't realize how dangerous it really is. I'm now reading a lot more and I'm terrified. My feet and hands are numb most days. Fatigue is a mild word. I finally got in a community free clinic and I'm on 2000 mg metformin a day and was on 15 units of Lantus. I had to stop taking Lantus because it seemed to be making me have withdrawals from the methadone I've been on for five years. Extreme diet change has lowered my numbers a lot, but the doctor seems to be not as concerned as I am, and this really bothers me. And I can't seem to get much info about the methadone and the insulin. Any info you could give, or where or what to do next, or any insight into my situation? Thanks, I'm worried.

Wil@Ask D'Mine answers: It's OK to be worried. Fear can be a healthy emotion, so long as it doesn't rule the day. And, hey, I'm proud of you. You got yourself into a clinic—better late than never—you've made extreme diet changes, you're reading up on your diabetes and you're asking questions!

As to your doctor, well, I'm not so proud of him. I think you might have gotten one of the bad ones. Most docs at free clinics are pretty awesome people who are drawn to helping people in the greatest need. Let's face it, no doc works at a free clinic for the money—this kind of work is among the lowest-paying in medicine.

That said, and there's no delicate way to say this, so bear with me... I think he might see something different when he looks at you than what I see. I'll go first. When I look at you (well, at your email—but I can "see" a great deal in the words people place on a page), I see someone who's had a pretty hard road. I see someone who's suffering a great deal, but trying to improve her lot in life. I see a fellow PWD. Hell, I just see a fellow human being.

And that's good enough for me.

Your doc, however, sees something else. He looks at you and sees a junkie. Long-term use of methadone is sometimes used to treat chronic pain, but is usually used to treat opiate addictions. A methadone prescription is a red flag. In fact, just like your doc, I'm actually going to assume that's why you are taking it; but unlike your doc, I'm not going to judge you for it. For some reason, some really great docs get hung up over drug use and, like the Grinch, their hearts suddenly shrink. I've seen some pretty open-minded providers act really strangely around IV drug users. So when I read your email I found myself wondering if your doc was really listening to you or if he'd gotten hung up over your past with his brain stuck in a stupid loop about "so she had money for heroin, but couldn't be bothered to pay for her health care, I'm not going to waste my time..."

That's #@$%& BS! I say to your doctor: If you can't accept everyone, regardless of their faults, as worthy of the same treatment, then you don't belong in medicine. The door is over there. Please leave, we have enough real challenges to solve without those kinds of attitudes. I'm sure you'll do just fine in politics.

So I spent most of my spare time the last few weeks trying to see what's known and not known about methadone and Lantus. The answer: not much.

In fact, about all I could find were two reports of photosensitivity in women over 50; and one report of "chills" in a 60-year-old man. Now chills might sound a bit like your "withdrawals." And if it happened to one other person, it sure as hell could have happened to you, too.

The solution? Well, based on my field experience, I've found the various insulins we have to play with are a lot more different than apples and oranges. We tend to think of Lantus and Levemir like we think of Tide and Cheer: hey, the brands are different, but they both clean your clothes. And while it's true that the glucose response profile of the two basal insulins is pretty much the same, they couldn't be made any more differently. Hell, they aren't apples and oranges so much as watermelons and papayas. People who have some sort of oddball trouble with one often do fine on the other. And don't forget we have the old-fashioned NPH as an option, too.

My advice? Go back to your clinic, but ask to see another provider. Look the white coat straight in the eye and be honest about your past and passionate about your future. Be clear about your here-and-now fears. Then ask to try a different insulin, and see if it plays better with your methadone.

Oh, and don't vote for your old doc if you see he is running for Congress.

Paul from Georgia, type 1, writes: I have recently read about foods like milk and wheat causing increased secretion of insulin (insulinotropic effect) above the insulin needed for the carbs in the food. This fact is used to conclude that products containing these ingredients be used sparingly, if at all, in an attempt to prevent obesity and type 2 diabetes. The reason being that these foods cause an overproduction of insulin that leads to storage of excessive carbs as fat. My question is as a type 1 with a negative c-peptide is: will eating these foods have the same effect? My guess is unless they cause a glucose rise above the carb content that I gave a bolus for, there will be no extra insulin unless I give extra insulin.

Wil@Ask D'Mine answers: Well, first off, you and I must be reading different journals, because I haven't seen nor could I find anyone worrying about insulinotropic foods causing weight gain. In fact, just the opposite may be true—they're being heralded as the next great thing in diabetes treatment, and some people think they may even help prevent obesity.

But let's back up and give all our readers some background. Then we'll dissect the issue you read about a little more and I'll take a crack at your question. As you said, insulinotropic is just a fancy-pants cocktail party word for something that causes insulin production. And it's been a known mystery for a number of years that different proteins have different "insulinotropic properties," meaning that they trigger insulin production independent of their glycemic index; the exact opposite of what logic would suggest. WTF?

Back in 2004, a team of Swedish researchers singled out milk as being the most unusual in this regard. After much study the smoking gun was proven to be whey protein, which makes up around 20% of milk's protein (but a whopping 60% of the protein in human breast milk, "food" for thought). Why whey kicks the body in the pancreas more than you'd expect, given its carb count, remains a mystery to this day.

But, but, but: just because it induces the body to produce more insulin than the glycemic index would suggest, doesn't mean it's making your body produce more insulin than it needs. In fact, the extra squirt of insulin from whey has been shown to greatly reduce blood sugar spikes after meals. So much so, that mixing whey into high carb meals has been shown to have a medicinal effect in type 2s. In other words, a natural insulin secretagogue. (One study added whey to a meal of mashed potato and Swedish meatballs, which I find ironic given the original whey discovery came from Swedish researchers.)

Over the last few years, there has been much ongoing research that, quoting another study, "dietary interventions represent a promising therapeutic strategy to optimize postprandial glycemica." Whey as medicine for all that ails you.

In a stretch, I suppose I could see your point about extra insulin moving the carbs into fat storage, but leaving the extra carbs in the blood moves the type 2 into the dialysis center. I don't think these foods are likely to cause greater weight gain because of the extra insulin, nor do I think type 2s should avoid them only out of fear of weight gain. I think anyone who is worried about weight should focus more on eating less, and less on what they are eating. And just to muddy the waters, I'm seeing a lot of research actually supporting whey as an anti-obesity agent, rather than a trigger for weight gain. This has led to whey becoming a popular food supplement, especially for the for body building crowd. It's seen as agent of muscle growth and fat reduction, but like many food supplements, we are lacking in solid science behind this particular claim.

But as to you, my insulin-deficient friend, you're right. An insulinotropic food will not bring your dead beta cells back to life. An insulinotropic substance needs an insulin-producing body to act on.

However, your question raises another: If the "normally" functioning human body produces more insulin for whey than you'd expect it to need... why is that? Frankly, the body tends to know what it's doing. Even though the glycemic index of foods with whey shouldn't demand more insulin, the body provides it, and apparently with good results.

Maybe we should all consider a whey bolus.

This is not a medical advice column. We are PWDs freely and openly sharing the wisdom of our collected experiences — our been-there-done-that knowledge from the trenches. But we are not MDs, RNs, NPs, PAs, CDEs, or partridges in pear trees. Bottom line: we are only a small part of your total prescription. You still need the professional advice, treatment, and care of a licensed medical professional.

Disclaimer: Content created by the Diabetes Mine team. For more details click here.

Disclaimer

This content is created for Diabetes Mine, a consumer health blog focused on the diabetes community. The content is not medically reviewed and doesn't adhere to Healthline's editorial guidelines. For more information about Healthline's partnership with Diabetes Mine, please click here.

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