#BUT THEY HAVE COOKIES said every woman lured down a dark hallway ever

[pastafossa]

I need to tell you about this spooky bakery.

So after hitting the pharmacy today, me and mom decided to stop at this bakery with good reviews. First we couldn't find it, driving around in circles for a bit before we found it. It was one of a few businesses that had set up inside a repurposed schoolhouse, so we drove around to the entrance at the back. Walk up to the door. Good so far!

Until I open the door and look down a hallway that looks like this:

Me remembering every horror movie scene set in a school ever:

For a long moment, my Danger Senses discuss the hallway with my Desire For Delicious Cookies. My Desire For Delicious Cookies manages to convince us to walk a little further.

Maybe, I think, it only looks dark from the doorway. Surely it will get better.

It does not get better, because as I move away from the sunlight, the hallway becomes this.

I have seen horror movies like this. I have yelled at dumbasses for going down darkened hallways just like this. I have seen a million meme about these scenarios. I am genre aware.

Me:

My desire for cannoli carries me a little further.

On my left is a sign. Why does this feel threatening ???

Do I dare?

I consider the menu again. Is what I want worth it?

Wait hang on, they have cassata cake???

I FUCKING LOVE CASSATA CAKE

Live footage of this trap in progress:

Halfway down the hall, the lights suddenly flip on with a loud CLANG.

This should have been terrifying, that ominous echo like the clack of a spotlight, but I'm too busy imagining myself eating cassata cake like

Fortunately, much to my relief, I come around the corner and

Oh thank god they still have cake!

But damn did I fail the horror movie test.

[pastafossa]

I need to tell you about this spooky bakery.

So after hitting the pharmacy today, me and mom decided to stop at this bakery with good reviews. First we couldn't find it, driving around in circles for a bit before we found it. It was one of a few businesses that had set up inside a repurposed schoolhouse, so we drove around to the entrance at the back. Walk up to the door. Good so far!

Until I open the door and look down a hallway that looks like this:

Me remembering every horror movie scene set in a school ever:

For a long moment, my Danger Senses discuss the hallway with my Desire For Delicious Cookies. My Desire For Delicious Cookies manages to convince us to walk a little further.

Maybe, I think, it only looks dark from the doorway. Surely it will get better.

It does not get better, because as I move away from the sunlight, the hallway becomes this.

I have seen horror movies like this. I have yelled at dumbasses for going down darkened hallways just like this. I have seen a million meme about these scenarios. I am genre aware.

Me:

My desire for cannoli carries me a little further.

On my left is a sign. Why does this feel threatening ???

Do I dare?

I consider the menu again. Is what I want worth it?

Wait hang on, they have cassata cake???

I FUCKING LOVE CASSATA CAKE

Live footage of this trap in progress:

Halfway down the hall, the lights suddenly flip on with a loud CLANG.

This should have been terrifying, that ominous echo like the clack of a spotlight, but I'm too busy imagining myself eating cassata cake like

Fortunately, much to my relief, I come around the corner and

Oh thank god they still have cake!

But damn did I fail the horror movie test.