#BUT SHE SAID SHE “LOVES READING ABOUT THOSE GAYBOYS”

[bugbonz]

hggggggg

[theforeverhiatus]

Little Note of Love || Chapter 1/?

Please note: I have removed all links  from this fic until I have more time to fix them all. This work is also on AO3 which I will link on the original masterlist

Words: 1608 Summary: 

When the new boy sits next to Phil, he fears he'll be just like the others. When the new boy passes him a note, his heart skips and he's filled with hope that he'll be different. Little does he know, Dan will change his life and make it worth living again. 

Warnings: Angst, smut, self-harm, homophobic slurs, probably too much fluff

Rating: 17+

Notes: If any chapter is too intense or too focused on a triggering topic, I will make it optional, meaning it can be skipped and the story will still make sense. I’ll just let you know in the notes for that particular chapter!

This is a fic that I upload to fanfiction.net nearly three years ago, and I never finished it despite receiving a relatively good response. I found it again earlier, and decided to re-work it and upload it to here.

If anyone would like to beta read for me, just let me know. Please give feedback if you enjoyed this, or have any ideas about how you'd like the story to go as it helps motivate me to write more!

It was the Monday morning following the 6 week holidays, which in England, was the highly anticipated summer break for students all over the country. Phil sat down in his seat at the back, right in the corner. The seat to his right remained empty as always; nobody wanted to sit next to the gay freak with the emo hair. Hell – they didn't even want to talk to him at all if they could avoid it. All the other students were chatting to each other about how their break had been, and commenting on new hairstyles and piercings. Phil ran his fingers over the new piercing in his tragus, silently wishing he could be part of their whispered conversations. Ever the optimist, he tried to console himself by reminding himself he’d rather they said nothing at all as opposed to their usual taunting. They'd left him alone so far. True, it had only been half an hour since he'd arrived, but that had to be a record. As their teacher entered the room, she was followed by a tall boy with straight emo hair, and dark brown eyes that held a certain confidence about them. Phil hadn't seen the boy before, and was intrigued. Trying not to stare, Phil took out his yearly planner and began to copy out his new timetable that was already written on the whiteboard. Mrs Millen sat down at her desk at the front of the class and began to speak. Immediately, the class became silent. Everyone respected Mrs Millen; she was one of the cool teachers that let them watch movies instead of reading the books, and encouraged snow days in the Winter. She respected her students, and always made an effort to treat them as equals; a rare quality among teachers. "Good morning Year 11," she said, clearing her throat. "This is Daniel Howell. He's new to the area so he doesn't know anyone yet. Where's a free seat…" Mrs Millen looked around the room and spotted the empty chair next to Phil. She noted Phil’s sigh, and knew that Phil was praying she wouldn’t sit Dan next to him. Maybe it would do the boy good to have some company though, she thought. Phil always kept to himself, which she really did understand considering the alternative was endless mocking from a bunch of aggressive teenage boys… thinking of the brief background history she had been given about Dan, she considered that perhaps he and Dan would become good friends… With this thought, she pointed next to Phil. A group of boys on the table adjacent to Phil began to snigger into their hands, sharing knowing glances. "Something to share?" Mrs Millen asked them, eyebrows raised. "No, Miss." Dan wandered over and sat next to Phil, who had moved his bag from that side of the floor. Dan nodded at him and said hello, though was disappointed to see that Phil neither acknowledged nor replied to his greeting. Mrs Millen told the class she was going to retrieve some paperwork from the teacher next door, and asked them to remain quiet whilst she did so. Leaving the room, she pulled the door to. "Wouldn't get too close…" a blonde haired boy told Dan from the infamous sniggering table. Dan looked at him puzzled. "What do you mean?" He noticed that Phil had stopped what he was doing and looked at his feet as though ashamed. "To Phil…he'll start hitting on you…" The boy and his group erupted into laughter. Dan frowned and looked towards Phil, who by this point, was fiddling so hard with the cuff of his jumper, a hole was beginning to appear. "Why would he do that?" Dan asked, annoyance in his voice. Phil’s heart skipped a beat; the air of irritation Dan spoke with was confirming his suspicions that the new boy was no different to the rest. As soon as he found out he was gay, he’d probably ask to move seats, Phil thought. Dan wasn't annoyed at Phil, though…far from it. At that moment, Mrs Millen returned. The group of boys became silent, and as the class started to talk again as they filled out the forms, Dan couldn't shake those words from his head. Despite his many attempts to initiate conversation with Phil, silence hung between them awkwardly. Mrs Millen watched hopefully from the corner of her eye. Dan felt something hit the back of his head, and turning around, he realised the same boy had thrown a small ball of paper at him, trying to attract his attention. Dan vowed he wouldn't get angry. He wouldn't shout, he wouldn't swear and he wouldn't retaliate at all. He faced the front of the room again and continued to write. He kept knocking Phil's elbow since he was writing with his left hand, and he kept apologising, though he doubted Phil even cared. The boy looked too…distant. “I'm Daryl," the boy nearby him pressed on. "These two are Tony and Jake. We can show you around if you want? You seem decent enough." Dan continued to ignore him, but Daryl just didn't seem to take the hint. “You don't want to be talking to the likes of him." Dan was beginning to grow impatient. "Hey Phil…do you know what this question means?" he asked, pointing to "What do you hope to achieve by the end of this year?" Phil looked at Dan and shrugged. "You must know…you've filled yours in." Dan tried to catch a glimpse of Phil’s answer, but it was firmly covered by his arm.

Phil didn't even look up this time. The way Phil was acting made Dan feel sad. He'd been forced out of his old school by bullies, and he knew how it felt. Something told him that Phil wasn't a bad person. His instinct was that Phil was a good person who was damaged by bullies too. "Phil," Dan whispered, turning slightly to face his classmate. "I'm not trying to make you uncomfortable, and I'm sorry. I'm not like them. I'm not one of them." Phil's pen stopped writing. He turned to Dan and Dan swore he saw a slight smile. "Thanks." "Hey…Daniel…" It was Daryl again. "I wouldn't talk to him…he'll start flirting with you." "Daryl, I don't know what your problem is. Seriously, enough with the gay bashing already.”  ”Only a gayboy would say that,” Daryl laughed quietly, “Are you a homo as well?” Unable to contain his anger, Dan scrawled a quick note to Phil and passed it to him with a reassuring smile. He then turned back to Daryl, his demeanor becoming obviously more agitated. He felt anger coursing through his veins, and before he could stop himself, his anger erupted from his mouth. “Why do you want to know?!” Dan growled. “For your information, I am gay, but I wouldn’t get your hopes up because I wouldn’t fuck you if you were the last fuckable being on the planet.” Dan continued despite the stares and he could faintly hear Mrs Millen telling him to sit back down. "Just shut the fuck up and stop projecting your daddy problems onto innocent people who honestly, have a lot more potential in life than a fuckwit like you." He suddenly became all to aware of his teacher’s disappointment, and rolled his eyes, ready to take any punishment thrown his way. Mrs Millen couldn’t deny she felt a surge of pride that someone had finally stood up to Daryl, but she knew she couldn’t appear biased and had to punish Dan just as she would anyone else. ”Daniel Howell, that is wholly unacceptable!” she raised her voice, beginning to fill in a form in front of her. “Go to the exclusion room and hand this to the supervising teacher,” she sighed, handing him a slip that explained why he’d been kicked out of class. Dan didn’t care; he walked towards the door with a sense of achievement, and flashed Phil a smile before turning on his heels and heading for the exclusion room. If this room was anything like the one at his old school, Dan knew that it was more of a reward than anything else; a solid hour of doing nothing but mindlessly flicking through a book, waiting for the bell to sound and his punishment to end. At break, Phil remembered that Dan had slid him a note, and wondering if it had gotten mixed up in his diary, he opened it and flicked through the pages. There it was, in messy handwriting; Want to get an ice-cream later? I'm free after school. Phil smiled, then pinched himself. Did this mean Dan wanted to be his friend?

[the-mf-bread-babies]

loneliness </\///\|/3

a fic by rocco wulfram north, m.d.

(found that name on hardcore baby names)

–chmapter jop–

before the tríp

It was a normal day for the Skullsmashers: go to somewhere, kill people, be gay, sleep, get brunch. Right now was the first part of their daily routine, and they were getting ready for it.

“holy fuck nova could you hurry the shit up i have to brush my fucking teeth you bitch” Ace hissed, knocking repeatedly on the bathroom door. “Fuck You. I'm Going To Go To Hell Itself” Nova gargled back, mouth full of mouthwash. More banging was heard; the door had seen better days.

Several feet away was Jake, all dressed up and ready to go, waiting for the others to get ready. He sat on the couch gayly in the living room down the hall, scrolling through Apocalypse Twitter. ‘every day i throw down an unpeeled boiled egg from the rooftop to simulate fear and unreadiness’ he read, a tweet from Orc's account. What the fuck. Classic Orc.

“ah fuck !! am i late !!” Jake turned around to see Damon panicking and counting the daggers in his pockets. “no no not at all. i just get ready really quickly to throw everyone into a state of disarray” Jake replied in an honest, monotone voice. “come sit down”

Damon sat down nervously next to his captain, knowing he'll ask him for Bambi on the PS2 now. “look. look at them those dumbshits” Jake uttered, pointing to Ace and Nova arguing. “those little bastards are completely unaware that ive put a fake cockroach puppet in the mirror. watch now” he added, pulling out a cheap remote control and pressing a button.

*sound of glass breaking* Jake sighed. “okay maybe that wasn't really the best idea” Nova screamed, running out of the bathroom and confusing Ace. “Fucking Roach!!!!!!!!!!!!!” she yelled, already too far away from them to be heard clearly. “huh. well okay then!” Ace grinned, going into the bathroom.

“i'll guard. you do your thing okay? :-)” Damon said to Jake, smiling mischievously. Jake's heart skipped a beat as he was suddenly flustered by the killer's action. «oh god, shit's just gonna get more complicated from here» he thought, staring into nothingness.

Damon braced himself against the bathroom door, eager to hear Ace's chaotic screaming. “ready ??” Damon asked, sending Jake back to the real world. “hhuh??????? oh yea right” he mumbled before beginning to control the cockroach with the remote. “this shit cost me like 200 bucks so it better be worth it”

HOLY MOTHER OF

F U C K

JAKE JESUS FUCKING CHRIST

WHAT THE S H IT DUDE

ace will remember this.

Jake cackled loudly, rolling on the floor and hitting the table with his fist. “LMAOOOOK FUCK YOUUU” he yelled, angering Ace even more. “I WILL GODDAMN SKIN UOUR FUCKIGN ISTINEDSTINES OLD MAN I SWEAR TKC FUCKF” they yelled back, pushing the door repeatedly. “IM GOIND TO FUCKIGN DIR HERE YOU BITCH”

“ah . ace ? could you move a little please ? i'm trying to get in ?” Damon said annoyingly kindly, making Ace jab a fake knife through the space between the door and the doorway. “THIS IS THE BEST FUCKIGN KNIFE I HAVE ON ME RIGT NOW BUT PLEADR JSUT FUCK O F F”

“hm ... i'll have to check in with the blacksmith today to know what this one's worth... possibly rusted here, though.... could also just be dirt tho.....” Damon mumbled, examining the knife. “FUCKING HEL P” Ace yelled in distress, his breath seeping through the door. “ace. brush your fucking teeth that's disgusting.”

“IM FUCKIF D TRYINF THERES JUST A FUCKGIFN ROSCH HEREERF” Ace explained fearfully, trying their best to get some pity from the other. “a what ?? don't think we have those here” “A FUCKIFN COKROSKC” “corrosion ???? how bad” “FUCK YOU A GODDMAND COKCROACH” “girls?? what?? are they milfs??” “HOW THEE DFUCKDB DID YEOU HEAR FTHAY WHATS DUCUNESKRHI”

Jake's hand slapped against Damon's shoulder as a way of saying thanks. “good work out there soldier. us skullsmashers really need someone like you damon” He said confidently, disguising his flirting as a compliment. “cool !! you too man !!” The shorter man replied, completely unaware of the flirting and continuing to yearn for the mutual love between him and Jake. fuckin idiots lmao

“alrighty fuckers, let's move!”

Rachel's voice sent Ace and Nova into a panic, making them scram to look for their weapons and equipment. “Got everything ya need? W'ain't makin' any stops; tryin'a save fuel.” Shaw asked, leaning against the wall at the entrance menacingly. “When the fuck did you even come here.” Dennis asked in surprise, carrying suitcases. “Hmph. Man never tells his secrets, young man.” She replied, tilting her cowboy hat. “What…”

Aaron was sitting peacefully in the trunk of a pickup truck they had, only to be met by a large backpack to the face. “ah!!!!!!!! very sorry!!!!!!! we'll be going in separate vehicles, and trunk space is very much needed!!!!!!!!” Whitney said, apologizing. “Ah. Well. O-okay then.” Aaron stuttered out, holding back tears from the painful impact the backpack had. Pretty sure he'll get a bruise from that.

Henderson and Rachel were waiting in the front seats of yet another pickup truck. To pass the time, they took very cringey pictures of each other pretending to be on Cowboy TikTok™. “Do one where you're pregnant with the truck's baby!” Henderson suggested, making Rachel flip the bird at her but begrudgingly agreeing with her stupid idea. “i literally would skin you alive.” She spat out, putting a pumpkin inside her shirt. “That's… literally so sexy, babe.” Henderson replied back, taking more pictures.

Meanwhile, Andre was busy explaining to Cyprus, who was in a small glass jar, that forcibly entering Damon's bloodstream and mutilating his entire body was not very nice, with Orc and Sarah judging. “YES BUT UNLIMITED POWER COULD BE RIGHT IN OUR HANDS ANDRE” “That'd very mean of you to do, and could actually probably kill you too in the process.” he explained to deaf ears. Well, technically no ears. Yet. “CYPRUS I KNOW IT SOUNDS STUPID BUT YOU COULD LITERALLY DO THE SAME BUT LIKE IN AN ELEPHANTS BODY DUDE” Orc suggested, only to be ignored. “cmon cyprus just pleaaaaase dont kill ppl ok”

Jake looked outside, then back at Damon. “well guess its time to move!” “yea ... but at what cost.” Damon replied confusingly, making a sad face. “did you know today is…” he started, then regretted saying anything. “nvm…” He turned away from the punk, sniffling and walking to Dennis and Aaron.

“damon” “??” Jake asked quietly, craning his neck a little before making the decision to leave the new recruit alone. Instead, he joined Henderson and Rachel in their odd activities.

“hey guys. i fucking miss sans.” Damon confessed, taking a seat next to Dennis. “My nose is bleeding.” Aaron pointed out. “ok. today's sunday. and you Know what That Means… Meant,” The boy continued, facing the ground. “Kanye West he…” Dennis began (begun???? idk). “… liked.” Aaron continued, also affected emotionally by the departure of not only Sans, but Komaeda too.

Jake stared longingly at the family, wishing he was a part of it too. He truly felt Ariel Little Mermaid's desire to become human. Seven Vagánias… that was a risk he was willing to take for him. He would shave his eyebrows off for that man, and he just might do it right now.

“Jake? Don't do that. Please don't fucking do that.” Henderson suddenly interrupted, surprising Jake. “do what” Henderson squinted her eyes, giving Jake a suspicious look. “That's the face you make when you want to do silly things…” She pointed out.

“You had that when you almost electrocuted yourself at that stable, you had that when you threw the dart at Scoran, you had that when you glued Marcus and Reese–” “OKAY OKAY I GET IT IM A DUMMY SILLY LITTLE BITCH BOY OK”

Rachel put the pumpkin back on the ground and went to the two friends, curious to know what the quarrel was about. “what's poppin gayboy!” She loudly asked, slapping Jake's forearm strongly. “i am in peril and shaking and crying” “daddy issues” “yget?” He explained, gesturing towards the Russells.

“ah. please clarify what kind.” Rachel said, knowing Jake has a very questionable taste for fictional middle-aged men, such as Sigma Overwatch and the guy from the cowboy game. “the fuckin. family one rachel” “look at em just vibing and simply being gay”

Rachel and Henderson gave eachother a look that questioned whether Damon and Jake were going to be a thing or not, since Jake's technically still with Andre. “Considering the fact that they adopted Damon, they could probably also adopt you if you wanted to.” Henderson suggested, knowing Jake wouldn't like this and would stupidly unknowingly accidentally confess his love for Damon to them both right then and there.

“what?????” “ew no thatd be fuckin incest or some shit what the fuck” Jake said, being grossed out. “what would be the incestuous part, jacon. we did not say or hint at anything related to incest.” Rachel asked, making Jake's hair stand up in panic. “fuCKIN NOTHING DUH” “BUT LIKE YKNOW I GET CRUSHES REALLY EASILY YEA??????” Jake explained weirdly.

“So there's a new one right now, huh…” Henderson asked… feeling like she was in Ace Attorney. “no!!!! no wait” “well yea– no.. but i–” “fuck You but yes” Jake grumbled. “ah no, we won't tell, obviously. it was just getting way too obvious, so we just wanted to hear it from both sides.” “WH” Rachel said mysteriously, getting into the driver's seat of the pickup truck. “okay guys let's go!!” She yelled out, starting the engine. “THE FUCK IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN??????” “BOTH SIDES???”

chapter dos

two four trucks

The journey to god knows fuckin where idk didn't plan i guess a fuckin cabin or smth idk was long and torturous, especially when Rachel said that cryptic-ass thing before going. What the fuck was that supposed to mean, bro.

sudden interlude for seating arrangements !!

truck 1: Henderson, rachel, whitney, CYPRUS

truck 2: jake, damon, marge, Andre, Aaron

truck 3: ace, Nova, Dennis

truck 4: sarah, ORC, Shaw, viper

truck two.

Jake awkwardly patted Marge's head in the backseat of the truck, avoiding eye contact with Damon and Andre. Of course he had to go on a three-day trip in the same car with his ex, his crush, AND his crush's father. God, he was pretty sure this was the lab rats' doing.

“cows.” Damon pointed outside, earning Andre's attention. “Holy– what are those?” He asked, taking his sunglasses off to admire the beautiful little cows. “Cows… we drink their milk and wear their skin as jackets…” Aaron explained, his eyes drifting from the road momentarily. “They can have best friends and stuff. Really nice guys. Also, they're expensive as hell.”

“Y–You do what. Their skin??” Andre asked, his voice a pitch higher than usual. “yeah and we rate them based on which layer it is. also, like their meat, expensive as hell. but still very cool.” Damon said, confusing Andre even more. “they also give us cheese and ice cream and whipped cream and stuff. underrated little babies. they deserve better.” “they also have nose rings which are punk as hell–”

“Wait, why the nose– cheese?! Cheese?! AND ice cream??!” Andre asked again, his mind attempting to comprehend the greatness that cows are. “Oh man, you are not ready to hear about pigs.” Aaron said jokingly. “What the fuck are pigs???” “Sausages, ham slices, bacon, lard, leather too, rotisserie–” “aaron please i'm gonna throw up.” “Oh, right. Sorry,”

Jake sat quietly in his seat, just now realising how much of his world Andre's missing. Sure, his world was much cooler, but do they have sheep? Palm trees? Penguins? Thought not, bitch. “andre do you know what a kangaroo is” He asked, breaking his silence like that one YouTuber.

“A what?” “kangaroo. some of them are buff as shit and they move by hopping. they cant hop backwards and they also keep their babies in little pouches attached to them and their bones and guts are exposed on the inside of said pouch. baby kangaroos are about the size of a jellybean, and the adults can box you”

“They what” “yea they're weird as fuck.” “its from australia so” “That sounds fake.” “oh man. wombats bro. quokkas. fuckin drop bears and flying foxes. PLATYPUSES!!!” “wombats poop in cubes and quokkas are always smiling” “Koala bears hold onto tree branches and eat their mom's shit, which is the leaves of said tree branches.” “Please stop what the fuck” “ohoho fucking GEESE” “GET IM JAKE MY NEIGHBOR HAD FUCKIN THREE OF THOSE BITCHES”

truck three.

The three sat silently, with the exception of Dennis, who was swearing at random times. “You call that a fuckin’ turn, old man?! HUH?!!” Ace's shoulders jumped, the sudden exclamations preventing them from sleeping through the trip. “This Is Probably The Last Time We'll See Each Other Alive.” Nova stated calmly. “i slept for like two minutes last night… didn't even get to wear conditioner today. unrelated but just sharing my struggles with you.” Ace said, shifting into a more comfortable sleeping position.

Dennis overheard the two talking, and opted to stay quiet for the rest of the trip, before stumbling across a strange sight. “FROG!!!” he yelled, waking up the duo. “he said fuck! he said the f” Ace yelled out while rubbing their eyes. “Are We Aliven't” Nova asked, stretching. “Sadly, no, but the good news is, I found a frog!�� Dennis excitedly said, opening the car door.

“WHAT” “THAT SHITS GONNA POISON US WHAT THE FUCK” Nova yelled out, unfortunately not loud enough for Dennis to hear it. The man kept walking towards the creature that was technically an alien to them, and picked it up with watery hands. “DENNIS YOU'RE GONNA FUCKING KILL US ALL!!!!!!! DENNIS!!!!!!”

“So, you kids know how to handle a frog?” Dennis asked in a wholesome tone, alerting the two even more. “KILL IT KILL IT FUCKING KILL IT” “Oh, are you guys allergic to this little guy? Sorry, I'll put it in the dashboard instead.” “GET ITBOUT WHAT THE FUCK DENNID JESUS” “… Huh?” “POSIOJ DART FOGR” Nova shouted, hiding behind the passenger seat and being pushed by Ace, who was also going to hide there. “BITCH”

Dennis and the frog stared at them in confusion, hearing their horrified screams. “This is… a wood frog… not a poison dart… that one would probably die in this climate…” he explained plainly, his hands gently cupping the newfound friend. “oh. ok” Ace muttered quietly, while Nova maintained an awkward silence. “You can… pat them very softly if you want.” Dennis suggested. “Or spray the shit outta them. That could work too.”

Nova nervously held out her hand to pat the frog, then smiled in succeeding to do so. “Death Quivers Before Me” She said, proceeding to pat it even more. “can i do the spray thing.” Ace asked, their voice quiet as a whisper. “Yeah, sure. Go right ahead.”

*the frog was going to die so technically they didnt like fuck up the ecosystem or smth. do not attempt this irl.

truck four.

“What jolly tunes d'ya have on this here truck. Fellas.” Shaw asked, observing the radio. “uh, really, i don't think it'll be necessary!!!!!” Viper nervously said, only to be ignored. “NONSENSE! ONE'S TASTE IN SHANTIES PROVES TO BE A WINDOW INTO THEIR LIVES.” Orc said wisely, patting them on the shoulder. “i guess that's good advice, but really–”

TWO TRUCKS HAVING SEX. TWO TRUCKS HAVING SEX. MY MUSCLES. MY MUSCLES. INVOLUNTARILY FLEX.

“I SEE. A MATING SONG FOR YOUR SPECIES?” “my truck f### playlist,.,.,.” Viper tried to mute the speaker to no avail as most of the buttons on the control panel were very much broken. “I'm. Very sorry for this, pardner. But this doesn't sound so bad. I could put this in a jukebox…” Shaw consoled, only making them panic more. “im so f#ckig sorry” They said, before smashing the radio with a briefcase.

They all paused for a moment, unsure of what to do. “i have spotify…” Sarah croaked, holding up her phone. “they have lemon demon too, if you want…” She muttered, scrolling through the song choices. “does anyone want to listen to wet a–” “no.” “okay.”

The truck grew even quieter for a while, until Shaw gave a suggestion to pass the time. “Wanna play 20 questions?” “I'll start: how many folks have y'all killed?” Viper gave the assassin a horrified look, confusing her. “I think mine's around 150. No… 145…” She confessed, rubbing her chin. “Wait, or was it 160?”

“like six. do you like girls, and, follow up question, do you also coincidentally like short girls with long hair.” Sarah said without hesitation, stopping Orc from answering the first question. “Yes! I literally have a wife!” Shaw shouted happily, rolling up her sleeves to show Sarah her tattoos. “This one is her setting herself on fire and me getting inspired–” “ah, yes–” “That one was a total cover-up! Previously, it was the names of my exes, all thirteen of them, but now, it's my cat!”

After some time of receiving a bit too much RexShaw lore, Sarah finally got the answer she so desperately needed from Viper. This was the verdict that determines whether she could make a move or not. This answer could change– “i am gay and do not get attracted to women. thank you.” Ah. Back to more hunting. “I am a lesbian! High-five!” Shaw exclaimed.

And finally, the first truck.

truck one.

Loud country music blared in the truck as they drove by the snowy mountains of uhh. Winsnow. Like winter and snow. They had all chosen separate routes in order to cover more land and see if there were any new developments in the area.

“BRANDY!!! FETCH ANOTHER ROUNF!!!!!!” Rachel screeched as she drummed on the dashboard. “AND SHE FJSJS” Henderson kept driving, searching every inch of land for a rest stop to stretch her legs and also listen to something else.

“hendy.” Rachel said, getting her girlfriend's attention. “do you wanna buy that slime that cleans cars and stuff?” Henderson stared into the distance, pondering. “Hm. There's always the possibility of the slime disappearing under mysterious circumstances and turning up in the trash can the next day covered in saliva, so.” Whitney looked away, feeling attacked.

“yeah, that's a problem.” Rachel muttered, her hand instinctually moving to Henderson's. “Please don't crash the car.” She begged, looking sadly at her. “is there a domino's nearby. i heard they have that new peanut butter chocolate lava cake.” Rachel asked, cupping Henderson's face gently.

“Rachel. There's fucking mountains.” Henderson pointed out, gesturing towards their surroundings. “That shit will freeze.” Rachel put her head down in disappointment. “yeah. damn.” “MORE FLESH!!! MORE FLESH!!! MORE FUCKING FLESH!!!”

Oh yeah, Cyprus was here the whole time. “why does the metal say fuck?????” And Whitney too! “MIND YOUR OWN GODDAMN BUSINESS. FLESH NEEDED!” Cyprus yelled out, resembling a hungry toddler on a road trip.

“do you want like a burger or something......” Whitney asked, judging the spirit. “FLESH” “like are you more of a kfc or a mcdonalds guy” “NEED FLESH” She gave the couple a look, one that was kind of undecipherable due to her lack of normal face details like eyebrows, visible pupils, etc.

“So, three peanut butter lava cakes and one meat lover's… what else?” “ah!!!!!! no lava cake for me, i'm on a diet!!!!!! dirt and dirt only!!!!!!!!!!! also fish bones as a treat” Whitney corrected, her eyes searching for a nearby body of water. “Or, we could get Cyprus the fish meat, and Whitney the bones.” “sounds good to me!!!!!!!!” “FLESH”

…

“welcome to domino's! can i get your order?”

“three peanut butter lava cakes, please. that's all. thank you.” Rachel said, her seat switched with Henderson's, who was too nervous to order. “okay but they each take like three hours to make” “what.” “yea you can stop by like the grocery store up ahead” “fuck you for ordering this” “i–” “fuck off”

the grocewy stowe

The truck stopped by the front of the building, Rachel telling them to go in first while she searches for a good parking spot. Much to Henderson's disappointment.

“My lover…” Henderson said with fear in her voice. “it's okay… go along… i… i have to do this for you…” “for you all… i won't forget the good that you've done to me and everyone i've ever known…” “Rach, please don't go, I lo–” “you all are the kindest people… heaven may wait eagerly for you, but as for me, the ground trembles for its latest meal. fresh from the oven, i will enter the furnace…” “why the fuck would they cook you again” “because i'm TOAST!!” “haha”

“Kill Ronald Reagan while you're at it… I forgot which one he is but I'm pretty sure he's a total bitch…” “i will meet you doomguy” “heeeeeeeh” Rachel whined weakly as she slowly drove over to the spot she wanted.

MOTHERFUCKER.

A silver Honda Civic quickly made its way into there, angering the scientist. “not on my watch, fucker.” Rachel muttered, sliding the pickup truck across the road. She slammed her palm onto the car horn, which terrified even a murder of crows.

“huh wonder who that is” “hm anyway which fish do u like ???? :-)”

A woman who seemed to be in her late 40s exited the Honda Civic, throwing a rather large and flashy boa around her neck. “Jesús, ít's cold in hère,” The lady commented, putting on a pair of expensive-looking sunglasses. “Márie, come along, ma cheghhy!” (i forgot how to spell it)

oh, son of a B I T C H .

it's the french lady who smells weird.

Of course, seeing your enemy in any circumstance that wasn't planned was clearly a little scary and will probably be your last day alive, but bumping into them at a Target was kinda… awkward.

Both the hazelnut and the dolphin were less armed and armoured than usual, and there weren't any bodyguards or security. Usually, if a top leader goes anywhere, the standard protocol was to do thirty separate background checks on the location and have it guarded up somewhere in the three months before their arrival.

So, obviously, someone in Top 50 driving around town in a decades-old car buying groceries isn't very safe, or probably even legal. Hell, she hasn't even seen them wear anything this ridiculous ever. Could this be a distraction? Or is it an opportunity?

Ah, wait, they're both wearing their stupid little marriage bracelets.

It's the middle of October.

This is their anniversary vacation.

Shit.

in the store

Henderson strolled through the aisles with Whitney at her side, hugging Cyprus's jar. She examined the cereal boxes to make sure they didn't contain any food colouring that could potentially kill her.

Whitney, on the other hand, zoomed over to the meat section, licking her lips at the sight of a raw cod. “cyprus…… do you feel that? the need to devour a being???? the uncontrollable desire for energy that it transcends all laws and regulations placed on mankind?????? the growing hunger for power, one that's so strong it controls your every need????

a natural, primal instinct to become such a brutal being that no one, not even you, recognise yourself anymore. you look at yourself in the mirror and you feel like you want to destroy that, to put yourself onto the pedestal you belong on, to wreak havoc on the cosmos of all beings, living and dead, real and mythical, walking and extinct.

you know that you're the only who understands this instinct, the only one who follows it to this distance. everyone else may underestimate you, but in the end, you'll rise above them all. man's natural instinct is to become the ruler of all.”

“What the fuck, Whitney. Anyway, I talked to the deli guy and he said he could pay you to eat up some scraps if you want. You down?” Henderson asked, her trolley already full of snacks. “yea fuck it man” Whitney replied, walking over to the ‘staff only’ door. “im hungy as fuck”

parking lot.

Despite the growing need to kill the woman, Rachel was managing to control herself. Even though this was the perfect opportunity to eliminate one of them, she knows she'll be replaced by someone much crueler. So for now, she'll just stick to watching this lady consider which can of tomato sauce is better than the other.

Rachel parked the truck near the entrance and the Honda Civic. She kept an eye on the couple as she quietly made her way inside through the back door.

“So thàt's when Í saìd, ‘that's not a cactùs, that's a lámp!” Karén playfully said, her hand entwined with her wife's. Rachel was unsure whether to stalk the two or join her friends in shopping.

WELL, FIND THAT OUT IN THE NEXT PART,

B I T C H !! !! !!

[krashtheremnant]

Chicken Sliders (Pyro x Reader) SMUT

Don’t read this unless you’re a Pyro furfag like me. WARNING: Rated 18 for very sexual themes and actions, cursing, and furries. (Not really)

Please don’t read if you’re under 18. If you do then u nasty. Sorry Pyro. —–

It was past midnight and it was raining; usual weather for London, but no matter how often it rained she always enjoyed it. Storms relaxed her and gave her the perfect atmosphere to unwind. Her eyes illuminated with the light of her phone as she scrolled down recent uploads on YouTube. One of her friends Niall, also known online as ‘Pyrocynical’, had just uploaded a video about his Twitter being banned. She chuckled at the thumbnail, and clicked on the video. She had been curious as to why it had been taken down, and who better to explain then Pyro himself. It opened with some dude dressed in one of those inflatable T-rex costumes with some weaboo trash music in the background. She smiled and shook her head, laying against her cold window as she watched. “Wassup my fellow Harambe fans…” Niall’s deep voice echoed in the silence of her dark room, making her heart skip for a second. The weirdness of her body’s reaction made her pause the video and blink. “Strange…” She mumbled. Noticing the time, she decided that this would be the last video she watched before going to bed. She brushed off the bodily revolution, and pressed play.

Once the video ended, the (h/c) haired girl started to get ready for bed. She got into her pj’s and crawled onto her soft mattress, then plugged in her phone and rested her head on her pillow. Her eyes closed, the sound of rain helping to lull her to sleep, her last thoughts remained on Niall. Although strange, she didn’t seem to mind.

The next morning she was awoken by the sound of her phone vibrating against the wood of her nightstand. She grumbled and reached over to retrieve it, her tangled hair sticking out wildly. She turned on the screen, and saw that she had gotten a text from Niall. A smile creeped up on her lips as she unlocked her phone to read it. /Hey, (y/n) are u doing anything for lunch?/ She squinted to read the time in the corner of her screen. It was already 11:30 am. “Oh wow…” She scoffed, realizing she was actually hungry… and had to pee. /I haven’t planned anything. Did u wanna go get something?/ She replied hastily, then looked out the window. It was sunny for once. Within a few seconds, Niall responded. /I dunno I had this new recipe for these chicken slider things and I knew u liked chicken so I thought u’d be down to meme./ (Y/n) chuckled and texted back. /I’ll be over in a few just gotta get dressed n’ shit. Don’t start without me./ /I’ll try not to ;D/ /Weirdo/ /I’ll take that as a compliment/ /;p/ (Y/n) put her phone back on her nightstand and quickly got dressed. She threw on a t-shirt without a bra and then pulled a hoodie over that, not really bothered with her lazy appearance. She and Niall were good friends, there really wasn’t a reason to get all dressy. After sliding on a pair of worn jeans and her boots, she grabbed her wallet, keys, and phone, and headed out of her apartment.

She parked across the street from Niall’s building, and got out of her car. Her boots clunked against the asphalt as she paced over to the doors of his apartment complex. She walked into the building and up the stairs to Niall’s flat, and then knocked gently. She heard some rustling around from inside, then stepped back as the door opened. Niall stood in a sweatshirt and lounge pants. His strawberry blonde hair was tousled haphazardly, giving him the same kind of look as his friend. “Come on in.” He smirked and opened the door wider so (Y/n) could enter his apartment. As she walked past, her shoulder gently brushed against his chest, causing her cheeks to suddenly heat up. She swallowed, and shook the thoughts out of her head once again. “Let’s get cooking, I’m starving.” She chuckled to hide her awkwardness, kicking off her boots and placing them near the door. “That’s why I invited you over, isn’t it?” He raised an eyebrow with a sarcastic smile. “Don’t get snarky, I’ll beat your ass.” She joked and threw one if his throw pillows at him. He caught it and tossed it back on the couch. “That’s because it’s the only part of my body you can reach.” He teased, causing her to glare. “Bitch.” She chuckled. “Jerk.” He replied. “Just show me the recipe.” She rolled her eyes and walked into the kitchen. Niall’s smile grew as he followed her. He pulled out his phone and handed it to her with the recipe pulled up. “Seems doable.” Her eyebrows flexed together as she read. The device let out a sudden ding, and a text message from Roman dropped down from the top. /Hey hey hey how’s the date going furfag? xDddd/ She didn’t mean to read it, but couldn’t stop herself. The text made her blush and giggle, causing Niall to snatch the phone away from her out of embarrassment. “Stupid fucking idiot…” He growled, his cheeks growing a fierce crimson. “Sorry about that, you know Roman..” “Yeah, haha,” she chuckled and brushed a strand of hair out of her face before walking over to the counter where a deboned chicken sat. “Let’s get this started, eh?” “Please.” He sighed and grabbed some buns out of his pantry and some cheese out of the fridge. He placed the buns in a cookie pan and sprinkled the mozzarella on the bottoms then watched as (Y/n) began to spread the rotisserie chicken evenly over the bread. His eyes absently began to wander her form. Her wide hips, and her beautiful (h/c) hair. Even her (e/c) eyes made his throat tighten as they concentrated on the task at hand. He liked her. A lot. For awhile now he’d been trying to find an excuse to hang out with her, and now that he had one, he couldn’t find many words to explain his feelings. Hell, he doubted she even cared. He was just a face on YouTube, and apparently a lesbian looking one at that. He sighed, earning a glance from his friend. “Everything okay Mr. Pyrosanical?” (Y/n) asked in a mocking tone, using the Stomedy version of his name. He quickly buried all signs of his actual feelings and smiled again. “Aw hell yeah. Just can’t wait to get that meat in my mouth, boi.” He rubbed his hands together, and preheated the oven to bake the sliders. “You love my meat in your mouth don’t you, you dirty snag?” She winked as she spoke in Tracer’s squeaky voice, completely unaware of the thoughts that her words provoked in Niall’s mind. He closed the oven, then leaned against the counter to look at her with an amused expression. “I’d prefer Roadhog.” He replied. “Of course you would.” She rolled her eyes again and began to walk out of the kitchen. “Where you off to?” Niall asked. “I gotta pee, is that alright master Pyro?” She joked. “Only if you put the seat back up.” He called after her, snorting when he got a middle finger in response. A deep breath escaped his lips as he went to respond to Roman. /You dumb asshole she had my phone/ He hit send, and a few moments later his phone buzzed. /How was I supposed to know/ /Cunt/ /Have u smashd her like button yet ;O ;) / Niall pursed his lips and grumbled at Roman’s reply. /Fuck u mate we havent even eaten yet/ /Have dessert first kno what I mean Xd/ /Kill yourself/ /Gladly/ /Gtg u dumb slut/ /Kiss u later gayboy unless she beats me to it/ /Fag/ / <3 / He laughed and put his phone back in his pocket. The suggestive thoughts returned to his mind as he hear (Y/n) finish washing her hands and exit the restroom. “Aaah, much better. My bladder is happy.” She said in a giddy tone. Niall shook his head and chuckled. “What are you laughing at?” She glared. “You.” He smirked. “Well no shit, why?” She crossed her arms with a soft grin. “I dunno.” He lied. “Butthole.” She punched his arm and opened the oven to slide in the pan, then set it to bake. “Better watch your mouth, that kind of language will get your Twitter shut down.” He poked at her. “Mleh.” Her tongue stuck out. She turned around, only to be met by Niall’s chest. His mild scent brought her heart into her throat. She looked up slowly and met his mesmerizing blue-green eyes. His gaze was intense yet gentle at the same time, holding her (e/c) gaze captive. Her heartbeat sped up as one of his hands came up to her cheek. Her hand came up to rest on his chest. “(Y/n)…” He spoke softly, brushing another bit of stray hair out of her face. His confidence grew as her eyebrows began to arch with curiosity. “I need to tell you something.” “What is it, Niall?” Her voice was barely audible. This felt like one of her dreams, and any moment she’d wake up, making her want to hold on so much more. Her fingers dug gently into his hoodie. “I… I like you. A lot. More than a lot actually,” He let out a breathy laugh. “And I wanted to know if you felt the same?” (Y/n) smiled brightly and leaned her face into his palm slightly. “Yeah, I think I do, unfortunately.” She began to giggle but was suddenly stopped by a warm pressure against her lips. It felt as if the world just stopped. Her eyes snapped closed as she melted into Niall’s tall form. Their lips moved together with a new desperation neither of them had felt in some time, until they both had to break off to breathe. (Y/n)’s teeth raked against her bottom lip causing a deep, hungry groan to rumble in Niall’s throat. She could feel the hot tension between them both, and quickly acted. Her soft lips pressed against the underside of his jaw, slowly moving down to his neck. Niall’s grip shifted from her face to her lower back, and then to her ass. He gave it a rough squeeze, earning a yelp from her. He grinned with lust-filled eyes, and took advantage of her broken concentration to press his lips back to hers, pushing her back into the warm oven. He broke off, breathing heavily, before placing feverish kisses on her neck and behind her jaw. “Mmh… Niall…” She moaned gently, her grip tightening on his hoodie. Hearing his name spurred a fire deep inside him, causing him to bite down hungrily on the nape of her neck. “Niall!” She yelped out, and pressed her head into the crook of his neck and shoulder. “Fuck, I love that…” He growled and began to guide her out of the kitchen, not once allowing space to grow between their heated bodies. He waited until he felt his couch collide with the back of her knees before pushing her down onto it. Her hands stroked through his soft hair, messing it up further as she continued to kiss him. Niall’s body kept hers caged against the couch, his arms the only things keeping them from being pressed together. Their lips parted for another brief moment, allowing them both to take in the view of each other. (Y/n)’s rosy, warm face made Niall’s breath hitch. “I want you.” He said with his low, predatory voice. His accent was clouded with lust. “I want you too, Niall…” (Y/n) breathed. She ran the pad of her thumb over his defined cheekbone. Her words were enough permission for him to continue his advance. His hand drifted down her torso, stopping at the bottom of her jacket. He began to lift it off of her, leaning back onto his legs so he could use both arms. Once it was off, he threw it onto the chair across the room and then went back for her shirt. She sat, her bare chest exposed to the chilly air of the room. Her arms quickly came up to cover her breasts. Niall’s hands gently gripped her wrists and held them over her head with her consent. “Don’t hide yourself from me… I want to see you.” He kissed her gently on the forehead, a gesture she wasn’t expecting. She let out a moan as he began to kiss her collar bone, and then through the valley of her breasts. He repositioned his hands so that he could gently caress one of them. His lips covered one of her nipples and began to suck. Her wrists twisted and strained against his stern grasp, her breathing grew ragged and littered with moans of arousal. Niall nipped gently at her skin, causing her to yell out once more. “Ah!” Her back arched slightly, and her legs scissored underneath him. He smirked and kissed the mark he had made. His hand grazed the soft skin of her stomach as it made its way to the waistband of her jeans. He thumbed at the button before beginning to pull them off of her legs. She kicked them the rest of the way off. Niall looked down at her as she squirmed and groaned beneath him. Her movements made his pants even tighter than they were. Seeing how desperate she was to touch him, he finally released her. Without hesitation, she grabbed his hoodie and yanked it off of his torso. “You’re such an ass…” She smiled. “Why’s that?” He chuckled, allowing her to remove his shirt. “Making me all heated like that… Shame on you. Especially when you’re not breaking a sweat.” She teased, running her hands through his hair again. He grinned. “That was the aim.” Niall kissed her neck, pushing her back down onto the sofa. He shifted himself so that his hips nestled between hers. His hand rubbed her wetted underwear, being sure to stroke around her core, driving her insane. She pulled at his hair. “Niall please… please…” She begged, pressing her head back into the cusion. He laughed, and slid down her small body until his head was between her thighs. She was beautifully curved, with the perfect amount of weight on her hips and legs. “God you’re hot…” He said against her. She moaned and lifted her hips impatiently, unable to find any other words. “Niall please… Oh my God…” She pleaded with him, her eyes closed tightly. Niall removed her underwear, leaving her completely naked. He took in her beautiful form for a moment before kissing gently around her womanhood. He dipped his tongue into her and licked slowly at first, making it so that he covered her entire entrance. “Ah! Mmh!” (Y/n) bit down harshly on her lip as she felt Pyro slip a finger into her. The sudden pleasure made her head spin. As he began to pump his hand into her, he lifted himself back over her, and pressed their lips together. She moaned against him, unable to speak. His pace quickened a bit, pushing her closer to her peak. “Oh my God… Oh my God… Niall! Niall! I’m gonna cum…” She began to moan with a ferocity. He went harder until stopping suddenly, leaving her gasping. She struggled to keep her breath steady, only able to question him by biting at his lips. He smiled. “I’ve never seen you like this… I love it.” He said. “So vulnerable.” “Sh… Shut up… Asshole…” She sighed out heavily, and pushed her hips into his. He stood up to remove his pants and boxers, revealing his bare erection. (Y/n) gasped inwardly at his size. He was bigger than she had expected. Sitting up, she reached out and took him in her hand, leaning forward to place her lips around him, but she was stopped by a hand on her chin. Niall pulled her eyes to his. “Not now… I can’t wait any longer.” He spoke gruffly. She nodded and lay back down, watching as he pushed himself between her legs once again. She rutted her hips upward, rubbing her core against his length. He groaned and took a sharp breath at the sensation. “Oohh fuck…” He growled and stroked himself against her wet lips. “Please Niall…” She begged again gripping the couch. With a painfully slow action, he began to press his head into her tight entrance. Her muscles tensed around him as he pushed in inch by inch. “Holy shit, (Y/n)…” He gasped, and looked up into her bright (e/c) eyes. His breath quickened abruptly as she bucked her hips into him. His lip curled slightly as he tried his hardest not to slam into her. His teeth dug into her shoulder, both of them beginning to pick up their pace. Her nails dug into his shoulders. Their bodies rocked together with a mix of skin against skin and horny moans. He thrust into her with a frustrated strength, pressing her into the couch with each movement. “Oohh fuck… fuck… (Y/n)…” His groans grew more feverish as he got closer and closer to his release. “Mhm! Shit! Niall!” She moaned out, rocking her hips along with his, pushing his full length into her. “I’m cumming! Niall!” “Me… too…” Niall gasped, his thrusts growing quicker and more ravenous. Her moans filled his apartment as she began to climax. Niall put a hand over her mouth and muffled her screams. He pushed her to her release before pulling out and stroking himself to his own. He came on her stomach, breathing heavily. All the muscles in his body flexed. “Fuck!” He snarled.

(Y/n) stared up at Niall with tired eyes, and smiled. “You ass.” She sat up and smacked him on the chest. He grinned back and stood to grab a towel to help her clean off. “Sorry ‘bout that.” He snarked. “No you’re not.” She giggled, kissing his shoulder as he wiped her stomach clean. “You’re right, I’m not.” Niall winked and kissed her passionately. She lay back down on the couch and picked his hoodie off the floor to cover herself with. He returned to see her half asleep in his jacket. With a soft smile, he lay down next to her and pulled her to his chest. She grinned in return and snuggled closer. Just as they both got comfortable, the oven let out a loud beep, signaling that their food was done. Niall grumbled, and tightened his grip around (Y/n). “Hey, they were your idea…” She mumbled into his chest. “You’re the one who’s hungry.” He refuted. “Go check the damn oven.” “Fine… But I’m not happy about it.” He sighed and got up from the couch. “Love you.” “Whatever.”