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colectingstrz · 1 year ago

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CANT FEEL MY FACE ఌ

Soo’s smol noety 📝 : fun fact I wrote this whole thing in a positive mood with a smile on my face I love angst and heart breaking gut wrenching endings \(^ヮ^)/

Warnings : character death

“And I know she’ll be the death of me, At least we’ll both be numb“

jungwon can’t help but feel the urge to rip into your neck every time he comes over to Sunghoon’s and sees you..he always tries his best to suppress his hunger and feelings. Or in which blinded by your feelings and fascination with the supernatural you prompt jungwon to bite you.

“And she’ll always get the best of me, The worst is yet to come”

YOUR ANNOYING BROTHER continues to boss you around like your some housewife or a maid when you are a resident of the home.

He’s so annoying

You sigh as you perform an errand for one of Sunghoon's similarly annoying ass friends for the eighth time. While looking through the refrigerator, you sense a presence behind you. A gust of wind causes the hairs on your neck to stand up. You instantly turn around to meet the gaze of your favourite feline eyes

Jungwon just the man I wanted to see

“ oh! Hi jungwon what brings you here ?” He approached you slowly reaching over you grabbing a few coke cans “ felt a bit bad for you wanted to help you out a bit I’ll take the rest don’t worry” he speaks while taking the other cans out of your spare hand. It’s giving gentleman you smiled to yourself at his actions letting the delusions in your head win the more he acted like this towards you.

Before jungwon could turn and leave you tug on his shirt a little causing him to raise a brow “ do you like me ?”

Jungwon chokes on his salvia after hearing your words, the impact almost causing him to drop a can. You can tell he's surprised, but you calmly wait for him to respond. Jungwon couldn't form a sentence because his mind was filled by echoes of how fast your heart was beating and how blood surged through your veins. He couldn't concentrate since your aroma was getting stronger and stronger. It was almost as if it was calling his name, inviting him in to indulge in you.

He needed to leave

What’s taking him so long ? “Are you so infatuated with me that you can't take your gaze away from me? "Is my beauty so powerful that you cannot discern by a simple yes or no?" Jungwon gulped excessively before turning aside and fleeing. Ouch..Not only did he reject me, but he also fled.

You sigh and storm upstairs into your room, slamming the door shut. When you got to your bed, you burried your face in your pillows, yelling and screaming for embarrassing yourself in front of your crush. "what is wrong with me, why did I do that y/n your so foolish" you groan and begin lightly slapping yourself on the forehead "he's not into me at all... was I interpreting all the indications incorrectly? He was most likely simply being nice... he's nice to everyone."

You sigh

Jungwon on the other hand , had excused himself to the toilet to collect his thoughts. When he looked in the mirror, he was afraid of how red his eyes were, the evil persona consuming his features. He despised himself for feeling this way, especially towards his best friends little sister and, most significantly, towards you. He really liked you, but his feelings just made his hunger and yearning for you worse; it's as if the urges were amplified only because of how he felt about you. But he couldn't help but go out of his way to be near you because he thought if he could live off your scent and company, he'd be OK, but in reality it simply made him want more…it simply made him want to just suck your blood which is the last thing he'd want.

He doesn't want to hurt you..

Jungwon sighed, spraying ice cold water from the tap on his face to try to chill himself down. He sighed as he gazed up one last time to watch the red colour fade.

“ just hang out with the guys and keep a distance from her and I should be fine for the night “

Just as he is about to leave the bathroom He comes face to face with you. He could tell by your crimson cheeks, wet eyes, and tear stained face that you had been crying and he hated that it was because of him. You hastily clean your face, not wanting Jungwon to see you in this state. "What?" you ask, giving him an irritated look. Jungwon doesn't say anything and simply stares at you. His mouth opens and closes, but nothing but small noises come out, and he has no idea what to say to you except bite you.

You groan, pulling him into the bathroom and closing the door behind you. " y/n w-what are you doing open the door?" you shakyour head, "not until you explain yourself to me.." "What?" said Jungwon, raising his brow. Don't act stupid, it's not a cute look on you. “You act one way with me, being so kind and compassionate, and then you act as if I'm invisible. You act as if you like me, but then you don't. What exactly is it because I despise these mixed Signals " Jungwon gives you a blank stare, the sight making you regret not neglecting your bladder and going to the toilet that evening

You take a step closer to him, and he takes one back you both Repeat the process until you have him trapped against the frigid restroom walls. "See you doing it again?" jungwon gulps trying to suppress the urge to pounce on you “It's as if I'm a disease and you don't want anything to do with me!" Jungwon motions with his hands, "no no.. it's not like that at all y/n" "then what is it like, Jungwon?" He sighs looking down and fiddling with his fingers "You just make me nervous sometimes, like..." he sighs. I can't be myself around you " (cuz I’m a vampire and I want to suck your blood everytikeI see you ) “I’m not going to have any cheesy sobby confessionals chats with you just say it weather you like me or not that’s all I need from you” let me down easy if that’s the case..

Your words causing jungwon to chuckle it’s one of the things he liked about you a lot. He admired how straight to the point you were about the things you wanted “ I like you y/n”

You can’t stop the smile that graces your face the sight causing a blush to creep onto jungwons face as he looks at you eagerly wating for what you were going to say next as well as how he was eager to (sink his fangs onto your exposed neck) Your cheeks start to hurt from how happy you are right now to now know jungown feels the same way .

Not caring if he was your brothers bestie or not you make a bold and risky move a choice for yourself only.

You wrap your arms around his neck tip toeing so you could reach. Pulling him into a deep kiss. Jungwon was taken a back the voices in his head telling him to pull away as being this close to you was dangerous but he couldn’t help himself he’s been craving your touch for so long.Jungwon wastes no time hungrily kissing you back wrapping his hands around your waist pulling you closer to him so your bodies could morph into one another. Jungwon was on a high right now he couldn’t control his own body. He unknowingly found him self nibbling a little at yout lip the impact of this teeth causing you to whimper a little

Regardless jungwon continued eager to hear you again “you sound so beautiful “ he mutters into the kiss nibbling at your lips once again eventually causing your lip to bleed

Oh no

Quickly jungwon pushed you away turning himself away form you. Not wanting you to see his face his fangs his bloodshot eyes.

What the hell?

"Um, Jungwon? "What was that about?" you tap his shoulder, but he turns away from you, "hey!" You continue to tap his back aggressively, but he doesn't budge. "jungwon.. are you okay?" he finally responds, "I'm f-fine," he squeezes out with a horse tone. You try to approach him but he hides his face with his hands "jungwon look at me " he shakes his head you sigh taking matters into your own hands grazing his slender ones with your nails causing him to shriek in pain allowing you to catch a sneak glance of his face

What the fuck what the fuck what the fucking fuck fuck fuck

you step back “ why..your..f-face” you take another step back as jungwon slowly makes eye contact with you “ y/n wait I can explain..” he moves towards you and you take another back just like before with the roles reversed “ no! y-you stay right there “ jungwon obeys “ y/n I- “ your a vampire aren’t you.. “ jungwon slowly nods “ and were you going to…kill me ?” jungwon shakes his head “ no I would never dream of hurting you.. I’ve been trying… trying so hard to suppress it I didn’t mean to bite your lip!” He speaks just rambling at you trying his best to convince you.

You pause for a moment to reflect. Vampires exist, and Jungwon is one. He has sharp fangs, red eyes, and an ominous aura, just like in the tv shows..

I should be running away but I don’t want to leave

You've been invested in the supernatural for years, regardless of whether your bother believes in it or not. Sunghoon often criticised you for it, saying it was only legends and myths, but you knew it had to be true. And here is jungwon right now, confirming everything. You know you should be cautious because he has just shown himself almost losing control, but your intuition was telling you to stay. You allowed your imagination and infatuation with such creatures and your pinning for jungwon to overpower your critical thinking.

“ bite me “ jungwon gives you a shocked look “ what no I’m not going to do that to you I don’t want to hurt you “ you shake your head “ I’m giving you my permission “ he shakes his head again turning away. Your met with the sight of his broad shoulders once again, you walk towards him forcing his body to turn to you. “ I know you won’t go to far it’s fine really.. i want the experience jungwon “ you speak with exhilaration lacing your tounge. “ no” you raise your hands to cup his face forcing him to look at you “ please.. let me help you use me jungwon ”

You had no idea where this sudden need to have your blood drawn came from, but the want grew the more and more jungwon told you no. Plus, you liked him so much that you were willing to let him have it even though you knew it would hurt.

Jungwon shook his head sighing in frustration. He was having an internal battle with himself and the vampire inside of him. It was getting harder to hold back he needed you to leave before it was too late “ y/n get out” he spoke harshly hoping his tone would scare you off but to his surprise you didn’t flinch or move an inch. “ you can’t make me” jungwon sighed again. “ please.. I’m trying so hard right now not to make a decision I’ll regret please just leave “

Why won’t you let me help you

You took his hand and trailed it down to your neck, "come on.. I know you want to." Jungwon shook his head, "stop it." You spoke again taunting him "all this just here fresh just for you to take..I’m yours," you said, coming closer and angling your neck in his way.

“ I’m warning you y/n” you smirked continuing to taunt him “ suck me dry until I can’t walk “ jungwon pushed you away. “ leave.. I don’t think I would ever forgive myself if I hurt you “ “ but you won’t.. just take a little bit of my blood I can tell you need it “ jungwons red eyes looked at you and flickered to your neck “ don’t make a decision just because it’s me “ you shake your head “ what if I want to do it for you.. I want to help you and if that means sacrificing my self a little… then I’m willing to do so I trust you “

Jungwon paused for a moment to reflect. Trying one final time to break out of it. " Jungwon, you're free to take me, I'm yours," you said, he looked into your eyes caressing your neck, "mine?" you nodded.

“ try not to scream love”

Jungwon had plunged his fangs into your neck before you could speak again. You shrieked in agony, clutching your hands and pulling on his hair. The anguish was awful; it felt as if your life was being drained from you by two tiny needles. But you kept it up for him. You tried not to scream so that the others wouldn't hear but it hurt so badly. Jungwon had to put his hand over your mouth.

Jungwon was unable to stop himself from leaving. He had been repressing himself all this time, but now that he had a taste of you, all he wanted was more. His grasp on your hip tightened as his fangs grew deeper. Eventually, the pain went away, and you felt numb, but in a nice manner. You felt strange for loving it, but after a while you began to like the agony, the way his nails clawed your sides, you didn't want him to stop.

Jungwon eventually backed away. wiping your blood off his soiled lips. He gazed at you, bewildered, with the mess on your neck. And lost in your dazed state His contentment tinged with slight remorse. He touched your cheek immediately "are you okay I'm so sorry I almost lost myself there I-" that's..f-fine I liked it " you whispered your dazed eyes meeting his scarlet red ones " you did?" "It tickles," you said faintly, resting your head on his palm.

Jungwon smiled softly and drew you into his chest. He could see you were fatigued because of how much blood he drank, so he did his best to nurse you back to health.

“She told me don’t worry about it she told me don’t worry no more”

YOUR MOOD WAS DISTURBING. Specifically to Sunghoon, who seemed to despise the idea that his sister was happy and smiling, constantly reminding you that your grin was unattractive. But you didn’t care so here you are now sitting on your bed, staring at the ceiling. Prior to the events of four days ago, you were ecstatic. Jungwon not only liked you back, but he was also a vampire, so it's like you got two in one: the boy you liked and your otherworldly fantasies. You felt like you were fetishizing him because he was a vampire, but your affections for him outweighed any possibility of that being the case after all you loved jungwon before he showed his true self.

Since then you had been covering the bite mark with clothes scarfs and foundation until it eventually healed not wanting any questions and to out him. Sometimes your run your fingers over the spot having flashbacks of the moment the thought causing a slight blush to rinse your cheeks even tho he was technically eating you in a way it felt so intimate that you couldn’t help but blush every time it crossed your mind.

You snap out of your thoughts when you what a knock on your door “ who is it ?” “ jungwon” you jumped up so fast taking on last look in the mirror adjusting your hair even pulling your skirt up a little higher so he can get a peak at your legs. Gosh this is too slutty isn’t it ? I should change “ one minute !” You yell quickly finding some joggers to put on before opening the door

“ hi” you say with a bright smile to which jungwon returns one back “ can I come in?” You nodd dragging him in “ soooo vampy how did my blood taste ?” Jungwon blushes slightly scratching the back of his neck “ why are you asking me all of a sudden “ you shrug “ just curious how I taste I guess “ he nodds “ you tasted good.. really good “ you smirk

“ you know if my bother were to walk in and hear that it would give him the wrong idea “ you speak wiggling your eye brows to which jungwon gasps launching a pillow at you “ your so dirty minded aren’t you.. you and I both know I ment your blood “ you shrug moving closer to him “ I know just a thought “ he laughs at your words

You sigh resting your head on his shoulder while his arm welcomed you in “ I like this a lot you know just being around you like this “ jungwon humms “ yeah I want to be like this with you forever “ you look up and him giving him a small smile “me too” even tho I’ll eventually grow old and die while you would stay here..

it continued on like this for some time with you and jungwon spending more and more time together now that he had revealed himself to you he felt way more comfortable. And you were just happy to be around with him his company made your day.

Though it wasn’t all sunshine’s and rainbows for jungwon as ever since he got a taste he wanted more every time you would be close with him like when you would cuddle he felt himself kissing your neck and felt his his fangs pooping out one time to the point he had to stop cuddling for a while. It was worse now that he knew what you tasted like. he didn’t know how long he could ignore it until it consumed him.

And on the other hand he was drowning in guilt for liking you touching you, biting you and just being with you behind his best friends back. He hated himself for it but he couldn’t deny his feelings and his urges for you

Later on you go to the kitchen to get some snacks “What's up with you and Jungwon?" Jake inquired, and you shrugged. "nothing? " We're just hanging around, why?" he hummus. "I'm not sure, I'm just sensing vibes, if you know what I mean," he teased you.

“ there’s no vibes just 2 friends “ he copied your tone “ who like eacother “ You shoot jake a glance and he crosses his arms “ im not silly like the rest of them im quite observant “ should I just lie? Or tell him the truth

Nauur I’ma lie I ain’t telling you shit Jake

“ yeah as friends ?” He takes a step closer to you basically trapping you against the kitchen counter in the corner so your no longer seen “ he’s marked you.. as his own.. I know it all “ marked ? Wait what..just play dumb “ huh? Marked I don’t get it Jake what do you mean? jungwon is just my friend your being weird “ he rolled his eyes placing his thumb on the area which once showcased jungwons bite mark “ this here is where he bit you didn’t he? He marked you in the process I know what he is y/n”

Your eyes widen in shock is it possible that Jake could be..? “ yes I’m a vampire “

As soon as he spoke was the same speed it took for him to grab you and take you to your room locking the door.

Shit..vampires and thier super speed

“ j-Jake what are you going “

“Shut up”

Jake wasted no time in pinning you against your door's wall and sunk his fangs into the other side of your neck. It felt like he was ripping you apart, unlike Jungwons.

You yelled in anguish, and he covered your mouth with his enormous palm, and muffled a tiny shut up, and continued to feast on your neck.You attempted to hit him, but it was futile since you felt yourself becoming weaker and weaker.Jake finally let go, looking at your drained body one last time with a Smirk on his face and he raced out the window, leaving your frial body on the floor.

Help me..jungwon

As jungwon had marked you he could sense your weakness and hear your calling to him. He quickly dismissed his friends and hurried to your room, attempting to enter the door but finding it locked. This only increased his fear of what might happen if he didn't get to you immediately.

So jungwon made his way from the window Jake had gone out through only to discover your pale body on the floor and instantly went up to you holding your body in his arms "Y/n.. please wake up.. please " your eyes were partially open you didn't have enough strength to open them wide but it was enough for you to recognise him" don’t...worry" jungwon clutched your face "how can I not your body is so weak I'm struggling to hear your heart beat" he panics not knowing what to do "l..leave me " jungown shakes his head.

You hated to see him in the pain the sight completely broke you this isn’t how you wanted to die you didn’t want to die.. but you felt yourself letting go “no.. I’m not going to let you die y/n I have to turn you” you shake your head. I don’t want to be a vampire “ no.. it’s f-fine don’t worry.. “ jungwon finnaly lets out all the tears he was holding in letting him self cry into your body “ your going to d-die.. I don’t want you to d-die” “ please don’t leave me..” he spoke shaking his head and now holding your hand in his rubbing your thumb

“ I’m not.. I’m..not l-leaving you “ he shakes his head again “ I’m here for enterity I’m never going to see you again.. I have to turn you now” you use the last of your strength to hold his check and stoke it softly “ you can live without me.. stop worrying about me I’m going to die you don’t have to worry about me no more”

Jungwon refused to accept the truth. He didn't want it and wouldn't accept it. He had to be with you because he couldn't go on living knowing he'd never see you, hear your voice, or touch you again. He knew you didn't want to be like him and drink blood as you had to previously had a conversation about the topic before , but he had no choice. Jungwon wasted no time in biting into his wrist, allowing himself to bleed and shoving his blood down your throat in the hopes of starting the transition. He was hoping and pleading for it to succeed.

However, as he removed his hand, your body showed no sighs of response, your eyes remained closed, your body did not move, and he could no longer hear your heart beat."No..no y/n don't leave me..please," he said, shaking your body, but you didn't respond.Jungown clutched your body in his arms, unconcerned about who heard him as he cried out in pain. His happiness had been stolen from him, and he would have to live with it for the rest of his life alone.

Without you

Jungwon was technically dead, but for the first time in his many years of life, he felt as if he had genuinely died.

@ COPYRIGHTS SOOTREEPEAR 2023

𖤐steal my work and I’ll come to your house and suck your blood like Jake 🧛‍♀️ did lmao

𖤐authors notes and dat 📝 pt.2 : so yeah unfortunately y/n died sadly and jungwon will be alone for ever😧 it is what is is ig 😭 sorry for a sad ending It was actually written to have a positive ending but somehow I just changed my mind 🙃 oh well aniii ways I hope you enjoyed it ~ !!!

- peace and love ♡︎

𖤐 link to my other works !!

#jungwon #jungwon x reader #jungwon x you #jungwon x y/n #jungwon x female reader #jungwon enhypen #jungwon enha #jungwon fanfic #jungwon imagines #jungwon au #enhypen fanfiction #enhypen imagines #enhypen #enha #enhypen x reader #enhypen scenarios #enha x reader #jungwon angst #sootreepear

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thegreymoon · 10 months ago

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The Story of Minglan

I am so upset about Buwei's death but very curious about what is coming next. Since this is a c-drama and they can't have an immoral Emperor on the throne as an endgame, I suppose that the Yong family is going down one way or another. Let's hope they take the Qi household with them, especially Princess Pingning.

Team Prince Yan!

***

Yawn.

My lack of sympathy for this woman and her whole family cannot be overstated.

***

Did any of you care whether other people lived or died?

Fuck you both.

And the best part is that his stupid ass thought that if he was to whine in front of the Emperor about Minglan, this useless man would grant him the marriage 🤣🤣

***

He has already forgotten that she beat Buwei to death because of him, smh, and they are back to business as usual.

Human lives literally mean nothing to either of them. I wouldn't be able to forgive her if she murdered a pet hamster to hurt me, let alone a whole human being 😡😡

***

Hopefully, he will be lucky enough not to meet you in his next life.

***

Oh, boo-hoo.

How terrible for your mother and you that your delusions of grandeur are just that. Delusions. Classism is hell of a drug.

I hope you get squashed.

***

Do it!! Please! Make my day!!

***

LMAO, WHAT HARMONIOUS RELATIONSHIP?

You have literally had people raped and kidnapped, and very likely murdered. And here you are, threatening to murder more. The cognitive dissonance, I cannot 🤣🤣

***

Oh, yes, your daughter is going to be so happy in this marriage 🙄

Sooooooo happy!! Everything a loving parent would want for their child 🙄🙄

They are all literally insane. Unlimited power and wealth have rotted their brains.

***

That this needs to be spelled out for him is just 🤯🤯

And, like, we don't even go as far as Consort Yong. His own shitty mother could and would do this if he was to somehow elope with Minglan. This is also why there is absolutely no chance the Sheng family would allow this marriage to happen without the Duke and Duchess of Qi fully onboard and Minglan would never do anything that would jeopardise her entire family, such as run off with him without their permission.

***

MTE, Qi Heng, I fully agree with you on this.

Why anyone would bother to even cross the street for your worthless ass, let alone bloody their hands to get you, is very much beyond me.

***

LMAO, YOU ARE A USELESS MOTHER!

He is not a "thing", he is a whole human and you are talking about marriage here, an entwining of lives. How happy is she going to be, married to a man who resents her? Who married her only because you threatened to kill his parents and the woman he loves? Are you serious? OK, I can buy that an endlessly indulged princess will have the brain power and impulse control of a toddler and may not be able to see the full consequences of this, but what is your excuse? Moreover, what is your husband's excuse? All of you have worms for brains.

***

I'VE BEEN SAYING!!

Why must you make me agree with Qi Heng, smh?

Anyway, I can't wait to watch Zhu Yilong in something else. No love for this particular character but he's really fantastic, very subtle and very expressive.

***

Oh, thank god.

Hopefully, now Minglan can let him go and go back to being her usual intelligent self. This doomed side ship has been getting on my last nerve.

***

What the absolute fuck are you talking about, Gu Tingye? I thought you were supposed to be smart and looking out for Minglan!

Yes, please kidnap a fucking Imperial princess and see how well that works out both for the House of Qi and Sheng!

Why is everyone stupid all of a sudden?

***

How is Yuanruo the one speaking common sense all of a sudden?

Gu Tingye, what the fuck is wrong with you?

#the story of minglan #tsoml spoilers #tsoml ep28

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chunkypossum · 1 month ago

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Hi Chunky (may I call you that?),

Stopping by to let you know I just had an absolutely splendid time writing an especially angsty scene in your fic! (I would rank this scene at around notch 4, scale included below once more for your reference). Lots of scenes left to write, many of which will be lower on the scale, so fret not. If you see me venture into notch 5... no you didn't. 😶‍🌫️

I have some questions for you, should you be in the mood to indulge me:

Which of your works are you most proud of?

Do you write your scenes in chronological order? (Personally, I tend to write the pivotal scenes first and work backwards, oftentimes jumping around like a lunatic, hoping it all comes together eventually.)

What is your favorite holiday?

Why are you named chunky possum?

Bonus angsty question: Which of our two boys would struggle more if the other died?

-🎅❤️

(please call me chunky) 👀👀 Notch 4 you say....

wait NOTCH 5?!?

BUT ALSO

Ok let's dive into your very thoughtful questions Santa... Which of your works are you most proud of?

It's a tie between Kerosene and What We Deserve. Both were born from single scenes in my head that COULD HAVE BEEN ONE SHOTS. But noooo ... I had very vague ideas of what the plots should even be going in and pantsed the shit out of everything. Now I have a 225k and a nearly 90k fic to prove that delusions really do come true.

What's chronolulu order? I write the fun shit first then build from there and get more excited when I get to stitch that scene into it's place. Well, I usually do, the three I am writing now I am trying to write in order since they are actually plotted BUT my notes app looks like the notebook of a serial killer off their rocker so idk if it's working.

What is your favorite holiday?

Hobbit Day

Why are you named chunky possum?

It was either that or Crusty Frog Lord and instead of calling me Lord or Frog everyone would call me Crusty.

Bonus angsty question: Which of our two boys would struggle more if the other died?

Me. I would struggle more.

Neither would cope well but Eris has more reason to upkeep his masks, whereas Azriel probably has a bit more room to spiral. He tortures people and has fewer eyes on him.

#azris #eris vanserra #azris supremacy #acotar #azriel x eris #azris fanfiction #acotar fanfiction #azriel shadowsinger #chunkyasks #secret santa 2024 #acotar gift exchange

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the-crimson · 1 year ago

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Ok so after writing my observations yesterday on q!bbh’s delusions about the egg photos and reading this post by the wonderful @kadextra I started thinking about the relationship between q!bbh’s self harm and his delusions.

Both are coping methods for the immense pain of losing the eggs and q!bbh’s failure to protect them. Gonna put an early cut cuz I’m gonna be talking about self harm and suicide idealization so if these are triggering topics, take care of urself and read at ur own pace.

There are hundreds of different reasons (often subconscious) why people commit acts of self harm but some of the more common ones are cries for help, externalizing internal pain, and punishing oneself. I think bbh’s self harming tendencies steam from all three, in addition to a general lack of self worth but that is nothing new to mr I popped 25 totems no big deal.

The eggs are bbh’s world and he failed them. When he first fed himself to the vultures, it was only a couple days after the eggs had vanished. Long enough for the hope that they’d return to fade and for the reality of the situation to sink in. They are gone. He failed them.

Bad may have justified it to himself that he was continuing Dapper’s work but deep down he was punishing himself for failing by physically destroying his body in addition to externalizing his internal pain. Now what do I mean by that? Internal/emotional pain can feel irrational and helpless because it’s all inside. Physically hurting oneself gives a person an element of control over their pain and a justification for why everything hurts. It makes it easier to manage even tho this is incredibly dangerous and unhealthy. When life or emotions feel out of control, self harm can feel revolutionary and like you are taking your agency back. Brains are weird.

Bad fed himself to the soul vultures for two weeks before he stopped. At first, he was in their spawning area seemingly collecting soul hearts - even though there was no need because Dapper collected over a stack of them. Then, he moved to Ron’s cell where he allowed the vultures to eat him while Ron watched/listened. In both instances, bbh has a “logical” reason for doing what he’s doing but the moment you think about it for two seconds his reasoning falls apart because the true purpose is self harm. Dapper already collected a bunch of the hearts and there are a million different ways bbh could psychologically torture Ron besides actively hurting himself as well.

All of this is also a desperate cry for help. Bad doesn’t hide the wounds the vultures left and even after he stopped letting them eat him, the wounds continue to get worse. Whatever the vultures did to him/bad did to himself has left a very visible indication that he is deteriorating quickly. Everyone has told him there is something wrong and he doesn’t try to hide it or cover up what has them worried. Bad doesn’t notice because he can’t, because he doesn’t care, because he doesn’t matter. But it is a clear indication to others that something is deeply wrong and he needs help even if he’d be kicking and screaming trying to resist.

Another common reason for self harm occurs when someone has severe depression. Depression isn’t just “I’m sad”. Depression is “I feel nothing”. My mom once described it as literally the world loses its color. When Foolish lit bbh on fire and Bad said something along the lines of thanks I can feel something - it was played as a joke but that is a legit thing. Some people commit acts of self harm just so they feel something. Feeling something is better than nothing. At least then you know ur alive. I can also see this being a factor in bbh’s self harming practices.

What interests me the most is when Bad stops letting the vultures eat him: when he starts indulging in his delusions about the eggs in the photos. He trades one coping method for another.

Instead of externalizing the pain and punishing himself, he enters a fantasy where the pain doesn’t exist because the eggs are right here. He gives himself a moment of respite from the pain so that he has the strength to continue carrying it. But as we saw, this eroded his ability to tell reality from fiction and lead to a full blown dissociative mental break down.

Then what happens a couple days after his break down? We see him once again allowing a vulture to attack him. He’s leading it around like a pet in broad daylight. Yesterday was incredibly triggering for bbh because he was forced to face the dead eggs as well as his eggs that are missing/may wind up dead any moment. If Aypierre hadn’t accidentally triggered bbh’s break a few days ago I definitely think this would have triggered it. Not only talking to the dead eggs but being faced with the possibility that Bad might be digging seven more graves soon would be more than enough to break him.

Bad’s self harm in this instance was a grounding method. To keep him here, in the present. Who knows how long he spent on the church roof preparing himself for visiting the dead eggs. He was literally sitting there trying to stop himself from dissociating because he knew how important it was to keep the egg’s memory alive. He knew how much it meant to Dapper.

The fact that bbh risked everyone finding out about Dapper’s soul vultures just so he could keep himself present enough to visit the eggs is insane. His priorities are so incredibly skewed and we see this in everything he does. He is both completely blind to the consequences of his actions while intensely aware of the spiderweb he’s weaving across the island. He doesn’t care if anything happens to him and fully expects himself to die at some point. He doesn’t care about potentially spilling Dapper’s soul vulture secret because he’s already let the cat out of the bag on scanners. He doesn’t care if Dapper hates him for revealing their secrets. All he cares about is Dapper coming back safe and sound - with or without Bad.

I honestly think a part of Bad wants to die. This whole experience has hurt him so much that I don’t think he thinks there is a way back. Even if the eggs return, his failure remains and all the drastic measures he’s taken can’t be erased. Tragedy follows bbh everywhere he goes. He has painted history with blood. Maybe he thinks dying to save the kids will redeem him in some way. I doubt bbh will actually die or die permanently but the character definitely plans on sacrificing and potentially dying one way or another. All he needs to do is hold out long enough for his plan to come to fruition which means employing what ever coping methods he can to survive his grief, but once it’s done… idk and I don’t think bbh knows either.

Now we’ll just have to see what bbh does next. If he continues self harming with the vultures or indulging in delusions or tries something new and more desperate/dangerous. I trust at the end of all this cc!bbh will give us a happy ending but it’s always darkest before the dawn and I feel like we’ve got a lot of night left.

#qsmp #crimson speaks #tw self harm #tw suicide mention #q!badboyhalo #I am both terrified and excited to see what happens next #he’s only gonna get worse

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slayfics · 1 year ago

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Eijiro visits Yume on her birthday.

A very happy birthday to @unofficialmuilover!! I hope you enjoy the fic! Thank you for always indulging me and my delusions~

Artwork by the amazing @cloudymistedskies

Yume sighed as she scrolled through her phone. Another birthday message that was all too familiar.

Happy birthday! So sorry we can't celebrate right away due to the holidays! But can't wait to see you soon though!

Yume knew it wasn't anyone's fault her birthday was during the busiest month of the year, but- it never felt any better. Birthdays were supposed to be the one day out of the year for you to do whatever you wanted with who you wanted. However, that was never true for Yume.

Birthday gifts were often combined with Christmas gifts, and all the promises to celebrate later always faded after the New Year finally came in.

Whatever, it's nothing new i'm used to it... Yume told herself. But the truth was- it hurt the same. The same amount that it did every year. To top it off, she was spending her birthday online shopping for others. It was the only free time she had to pick out Christmas gifts.

Yume jumped slightly when her doorbell rang, and made her way over to he door expecting it to be her food delivery, but was shocked by the sight of a freezing Eijiro when she opened the door.

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" He said, the biggest smile spreading on his face. Eijiro had one hand tucked warmly into his sweater pocket, and the other held out a wrapped gift for Yume to take. The scarf around his neck barely covered his frozen red cheeks.

"Kirishima?" Yume exclaimed shocked.

"I know- sorry I should have called. I'm sure you're very busy on your birthday- but I had to stop by! Here take it," Eijiro said shaking the gift slightly at Yume.

"Oh-," Yume's cheeks blushed as she reached out to grab the gift.

"Ok, well see ya later! I'll let you get back to your celebrating!" Eijiro said, showing his sharp teeth again in a smile before turning away.

"WAIT!" Yume called a little too loudly.

"Hu?" Eijiro turned around.

Yume stuttered trying to make up an excuse," You um- you look freezing! Come inside to warm up before you go." She said.

"Oh- no, I don't want to be any trouble. I know you're busy," He said.

"I'm not busy...," Yume said, the sadness finally showing in her eyes.

"Hu? But it's your birthday. I'm sure you've got plenty of people celebrating with you," He said. As sweet as Eijiro was, sometimes his naivety made things worse. Yume's eyes started to sparkle at Eijiro's words. She wished she was busy. She wished she had so many people coming over she didn't have time to spend with everyone.

"Oh man, did I say something wrong?" Eijiro asked, concerned lacing his voice as a tear dropped from Yume's eye. "Oh crap- what's wrong are you ok??" Eijiro said rushing over to her.

"I'm fine- it's just stupid," Yume said, rubbing her eyes.

"No no no, it's not stupid. I'm sure it's not, come on let's get inside like you said it's freezing out here," Eijro said, gently pulling Yume inside her apartment and closing the door. "Talk to me Yume, what could be bumming you out on your birthday?" He asked.

"Ugh," Yume exclaimed frustrated, she didn't want to cry about it. It wasn't anyone's fault- but it sucked. It sucked a lot- and talking about it was hard. "Everyone is always just too busy around this time of year to even celebrate with me..." Yume said softly, as Eijiro wiped a tear from her cheek.

"Oh... I see..." Eijiro said, looking down at the floor. "Wait what about Kansa?" He asked.

"She is out of town on a mission," Yume said.

"Oh...." Eijiro said as he began to rack his brain on how to make things better. "Well- I'm not busy today! Let's do all your favorite stuff! Um-don't tell me I remember... you like camping right! Yeah, let's go camping!" Eijiro said excitedly.

Yume laughed at his enthusiasm, "Kirishima, it's snowing!"

"Oh... well maybe we can get a cabin then? That's kind of like camping right?!" He suggested.

"A cabin? This last minute? I don't think that would work out... but... I ordered some food... would you- want to stay and eat with me?" Yume asked.

"Of course!" Kirishima said happily. "Maybe you can pick out one of your favorite movies too? That's the perfect activity for a cold snowy day! I can even make hot chocolate for us!"

Yume felt her heart flutter at his adorable shark smile and for the first time- in a long time- thought that maybe this would be a good birthday. One to try and remember instead of forgetting.

#kirishima x oc #eijiro x oc #bnha x oc #mha x oc

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fullmetalscullyy · 1 year ago

Note

I read some of your fics and let me just say that I LOVED them!!!! Riza and Roy's relationship was just beautifully written!!! Can I ask if you have any specific headcanons or aus you want to ramble about?

AAAAAA THANK YOU 🥰🩷💖💗

i will preface this with saying it's been about 5 years since i actually watched fma lmao so my concept of royai in general and canon may be (definitely is) skewed purely by my own self indulgence, delusions, and poor memory (for real, i read a fanfic once where they said grumman's first name was walter and i took that on board and for about 8 years thought that was his canon name 💀 i'm easily influenced hahaha) but who cares i'm thriving anyway so i'm happy 😌

ok so. headcanons

most of these change with my mood or what fic i'm writing to fit in with the story i'm writing. i love having flexibility and things to play around with lol

roy calls riza "my love"

tenderness ✅ affection ✅ adoration ✅

this man dragged himself back from the brink of death/unconsciousness under central just so he could go to riza (and alphonse but shhh just riza)

roy fell first

riza fell slowly

he fell HARD and when riza realised she was like "oh shit 😳"

feelings developed tentatively when they were young (roy was both scared of but impressed by quiet, feral little riza). he was patient tho and eventually, riza fell too

idk when they each realised. i like to play about with that idea like toys in the sandbox lol so it chops and changes depending on my mood

they're both v professional obvs and hide their feelings well but sometimes roy gets a wee bit too into the role he ""plays"" while speaking to elizabeth and hears about it later. but he just shrugs and doesn't care bc how can he be sorry when he gets to pretend he's in love, or close to it at least, w elizabeth - not that there's any actual pretending hehehehehe

they end up becoming a dog family. all the pups. because it's what riza wants

realistically, would they have kids together?? hmmm ask again later but in my mind where there's 0 consequence and things are hand wavey yes 😌 need girl dad roy and mama hawk in my life

there is definitely a way they could play marriage between them and having a family strategically and politically and i've read some fab fics and thoughts where they do but i'm not clever enough to think anything up hahaha but i feel like they absolutely would in the canon world. it would suit them and their goals well if they did

obvs the kid would be loved and doted on don't get me wrong it would just be convenient that it worked out politically for them too

i'm sure i have more rattling about in my brain somewhere but i was up at half 4 this morning for a road trip and this is all i got for now hahaha

in terms of aus, i don't have anything cooking atm. i would love to delve into another one but i've done so many at this point i feel i've exhausted my wee list but!! also accomplished and written everything i've wanted to write for royai 🥰

however. i will say. for years i've been dreaming of a royai/x files au. royai as mulder and scully??? roy the believer and riza the skeptic??? stunning. i would LOVE to write that but i just. do not have it in me anymore unfortunately. that being said, i will never say never!! it might eventually come back around to me. but we'll see :)

thank you for the ask!!!!! and the kindness 🥰🩷

#awww writing this wee list and having a think was the perfect way to pass the time while travelling 🥰#missing royai now actually miss writing for them!!#royai #headcanons #ask #beesbeesdragons

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franciskirkland-deleted · 10 months ago

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I know I may have already said this at one point (my memory sucks, so if I did my bad lol)

But

God I'm so glad that I'm not the only one who's not very fond of the "England looking like a little girl and Francis looking like a big burly man" type 😭

I've never been fond of it at all, lmao. It just doesn't spark joy in me y'know?

-Hypermobile Françoise anon

tbh even if you have you should say it again, i'm just glad someone out there feels the same 💞

i don't follow a lot of users or tags but i'm always seeing recommended posts and it feels like in literally most of the fanart i see, they have an exaggerated size difference with france having huge shoulders and being half a foot taller than england who looks prepubescent and it's like... how do the majority of you share this delusion?

also whenever they're drawn dancing, it's always france leading, i've only ever seen the other way once and it was my best friend who drew it. not that i don't think they'd both take turns, i just really want to see arthur leading, with his arm on fran's waist and fran resting his hand on his chivalrous gentleman's shoulder 🥺 i rly wish i could draw so i could make this happen but alas.

anyway this phenomenon just rly irks me bc they are canonically supposed to be the same height? they've always been listed as that in like official character stats and i mostly think of/write them as being basically the same size whereas fran is curved, narrower and delicate and arthur is broader and more like. square and masculine. bc that makes so much sense to me.

the whole 'let arthur kirkland be a grown man' thing was having such a moment but i guess it didn't stick. plus i'm tired of seeing fran drawn like some rugged beast when that's rly not who he is at all, like yeah he's got good definition in his shoulders but he's not a bodybuilder, he's slim thicc with an hourglass figure and big thighs.

i hope it's not hypocritical of me to also enjoy a more petite fran as an occasional indulgence, she's just too cute like that and also i'm correcting an imbalance so shh 🤫😘

ok thanks for listening to my rant ily drop by anytime 💅💖

#ask and ye shall receive #ukfr

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abishekmuses · 9 months ago

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Sorting It Out Inside

Ok so you want to write online and use it to become rich - of all the people online (millions probably), why do you think you need to do this? what I'm asking is - why does the world need one more guy writing stuff on the internet? I think I have a unique viewpoint - my experiences, background put me in a unique perspective. Hmm what do I mean by that? I guess the sheer contrasts that my life embodies - I've always been identified as smart - and yet I've made life choices that are run-of-the-mill, classic idiot-choices. I was born in a lower middle class household in South India and through a series of scarcely believable life events, I made friends all over the world, speak with a clipped accent and now, work for a Norwegian company. I make more money than most people in my country dream of making and yet for most of the last 3-4 years, my experience has largely been that of low grade anxiety, fear about my future, hedonism, fatigue, drug-use, escapism, bouts of mania followed by shame and self-doubt - well you get it. I'm being a little too harsh on myself - there were moments of bliss, joy, satisfaction, adventure, learning etc as well but that only serves to emphasise the point I'm trying to make about the contrasts.

I am particularly prone, as an individual, to delusion, distraction, solipsism, dissociation and fantasy. I have a mind that is extremely suggestible, albeit quick and flexible - I suffer from a lack of context and perspective. Recently, thanks in no small part due to my commitment to yoga and my decision to stop trying to have my way with life (in this kind of forceful, anxiety provoking manner), I have found some space within myself - a space that helps me notice my behaviour patterns, emotional triggers, violent biochemical responses etc without being taken in by them .

This has allowed to me to institute a modicum of sanity in my life - it is precisely that modicum of sanity that is even allowing me to perform this very exercise of self-indulgent pontification - I would have probably been staring at a youtube video otherwise.

Back to the contrasts,

I used to be a devout Hindu growing up. Gave it up because it wasn't fashionable enough - became a reductionist, hardcore atheist. Tripped on a bunch of drugs that blew my whole model of reality to smithereens and was left having to pick up the stray pieces of my psyche for years - discovering "spirituality" and yoga in the process. For the lack of simple terms to describe it, let's say my models of reality are a LOT more fluid now than they used to be. I pray but I don't know to whom. I bow down in reverence and awe on practically a daily basis. I shed tears of gratitude very often and do yoga sadhana practically every day. Again, just saying this to highlight the abundance of perspectives I've inhabited and the contrasts that I've been able to experience and live out. I am often called "confident" and "courageous" - not entirely untrue assessments either - I can talk to strangers with absolute ease and have no problems but I also know it to be true that I'm a very fearful, self-doubting, anxious, people pleasing, attention seeking person. Another contrast that I'm making more sense of as I go along. I have experienced profoundly rapturous states that, by themselves, justify the enterprise of living on earth. I have experienced desolation that felt permanent and immutable. I am familiar with the ways of Ancient India (not as dry philosophy; as a living tradition with continuity and soul) and have partied with the best of them in Europe. I've had foursomes and I've slept with beautiful women. I've made desperate and ungainly attempts at sexual gratification resulting in embarrassing rejections and soul crushing vortices of self-hate and shame. I've imposed myself on girls sexually and doubted my attractiveness a million times.

I've inspired people, repulsed people, supported people, destroyed people's emotional equanimity, taught people, learned from people, betrayed people, cried for people, cried over people, cried with people, laughed and danced and sang on the streets, done drugs with strangers and sang hymns from the Vedas.

I think I can write on the internet and make myself a good living while offering something of value to those struggling with the same ills that I did (and probably still do).

The world is evolving rapidly and we are being confronted with some pretty new problems - kids apparently are losing their shit mentally - and it's because of too much phone-time and not enough social interaction, apparently.

I want to use my experience to be a voice of comfort, guidance and awakening, if I can. If i'm being presumptuous in this assessment, reality will duly give me a check in the near future.

Ok I think I'll go to sleep now.

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eolewyn1010 · 2 years ago

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Dragging Frankenstein - Chapter 10

Time for some sweet, sweet confrontation! AKA the two nominal heroes of this story throwing themselves a mutual hissy fit.

More landscapes, which offer Victor “the greatest consolation”. Yeah, screw Elizabeth and the fam, I guess. For how nice the descriptions might be, Shelley indulges in her or her husband’s thesaurus syndrome again. “precipitous”? “sombre”? “perpendicularity”?? I got it, you had a dictionary.

Victor’s purple prose at how fugly the Creature is upon the latter’s arrival is annoying as always, but with him being like “come at me, bro!” the situation jumps headfirst into hilarious. Victor, my dude. You built him as a huge brute, and you just said he’s superhumanly fast. DELUSIONS OF GRANDEUR: 8

Also, “do you dare approach me?” Well, you coward clearly didn’t dare approach him, now did you?

“Do you not fear the fierce vengeance of my arm?” … *cackles* Truly precious.

“…that I may trample you to dust” and so on and so forth, but he’s like, “go away or I could do something reeeaaaally mean” – it’s not like he has the balls to attack the Creature in earnest.

The Creature has inherited Victor’s thesaurus syndrome. Aw, he must be such a proud dad! And yeah, he’s neither of Victor’s blood nor of his upbringing, but the fact is, he only ever identifies himself in relation, and in opposite, to Victor.

“my joints more supple” … uhm, why did Victor want his creature to be extra bendy? I’m not gonna count it bc that’s just my mind going into the gutter, but methinks he’s out for some exotic positions.

“docile to my natural lord and king” -.- Whut. I got nothing. Sure, go and feed the DELUSIONS OF GRANDEUR: 9

What reason could he possibly have to be submissive to Victor??

“I ought to be thy Adam, but I am rather the fallen angel” – ah, that’s where the better part of the Paradise Lost parallel starts. I do enjoy me a little bit religious imagery, and the Creature has more situational awareness about this than Victor. Well, less is hardly an option; Victor is not identifying himself as Lucifer here, hubris be damned. I’m tempted to call him Little Lucy tho.

“Make me happy, and I shall again be virtuous”, “it is in your power to deliver them from an evil which it only remains for you to make so great” Awareness or not, he’s the same entitled little shit stain Victor is. I will only behave like a decent person if you do as I say.

“There can be no community between you and me.” Isn’t that why you made him tho? For a bit of community? This time, I have to. DAS GAY: 20

“Begone, or let us try our strength in a fight, in which one must fall.” Still funny. DELUSIONS OF GRANDEUR: 10

“Why do you call to my remembrance…” WEH-WEH-WEH, I DON’T WANNA BE REMINDED OF ANYTHING THAT’S MY FAULT! Is it obvious yet that I hate Victor?

Ok, the Creature just putting his hands on Victor’s face? This guy is funny. At least for now.

“For the first time also, I felt what the duties of a creator towards his creature were.” No, you never felt that in over two years. It had to be spelled out to you, twat.

And off we go. (to the sound of “Do you want to build a snowman?”) Do you want some exposition?

I sure hope you do, because exposition is what we'll get - for six goddamn chapters. As someone whose mother tongue isn't English, I gotta ask: Is the flowery language as bad for those for whom it is?

#Frankenstein #personal opinions #disclaimer: this is just for shits and giggles

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fyodior · 2 years ago

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I DAMN SURE NEVER WOULD'VE DANCED WITH THE DEVIL

PAIRING ↬ fyodor x afab reader

NOTES ↬ yes this is a fic based on a taylor swift song. i had to ok i just had to dfjkdafkfdk. this is a bonus kinktober i promise i will get the last 2 kinktober fics out!!!

CW ↬ light bondage, kind of dubcon, pet names, kind of dacryphilia, fyodor is just manipulative as hell

WC ↬ 1k

SONG ↬ would've, could've, should've by taylor swift

It hurt, god it hurt, but you kept coming back for more. And more, and more, and more. You couldn’t help it. You wished with everything in you that you hadn’t taken the bait that first time, that you had resisted the charm. You said you’d do it once, just to try it. But once was enough to get addicted. Addicted to him.

His lips, his body, his words. His ability to make you feel like the most important person in the world, in his world, though that never lasted. You wanted it to be true so badly, needed it to be true, and the delusion consumed you. It tore you apart, in ways you didn’t feel like you could ever recover from. He took your ability to trust, to love, to be loved, and smashed it all into pieces with a grin on his face. It hurt. But the God’s honest truth? The pain was heaven.

All of this ran through your mind, clouding your vision as his lips trailed down your body with ease and grace. Like he knew every part of you, and he did. He knew exactly how to make you fall apart in his hands with the slightest of touches, and he used that knowledge with nothing less than unholy intentions. But in that unholiness is where you found that heaven.

“Are you ready, my love?” It wasn’t a question.

You groaned a yes anyway, as much as you could from where your face was currently buried in the dense, white pillow on Fyodor’s bed. You were currently ass up, hands tied behind your back with rope that dug deep into your skin as Fyodor loomed behind you. His nearly silent chuckle somehow filled the dark room, and you could just hear the wicked smirk that he wore.

Fyodor fell lower onto his knees to sit face to face with your slick pussy as he stared in awe. As much as you didn’t want to be, you were turned on and painfully in need of him. His cold hands came to rest on your ass, harshly spreading it apart to grant himself better access. He leaned in slow and with intention before shoving his tongue inside your hole. You yelped at the sudden entrance and clenched around his tongue. This reaction didn’t deter him, only encouraged him to lick deep inside you as breathy moans tumbled from your lips.

You couldn’t help but salivate at the filthy wet sounds that arose from him drinking up every last drop of slick you had to offer.

“You taste so fucking good, darling,” he groaned, fingers digging into your ass as he spread you apart even wider. “Dripping wet, just for me.”

This is when the gears would start shifting. When the narrative switched from dread and guilt to one of desperation and indulgence.

“Just for you, Fedya,” you found yourself whining in response.

Fyodor wasn’t stupid. He knew the inner turmoil you faced in his presence, and he knew just how to manipulate it. To stoke the fire, let the regret rage inside you, then stomp out the pathetic flames as he played your body like the goddamn cello.

He smirked to himself as his tongue swirled languidly around your clit as he shoved three fingers into your pussy at once, and prided himself on the pitiful cries you let out. Pleasuring you wasn’t about pleasuring you. It was about using your body against you so you would stay against him. How would you keep coming back if it never felt good?

He found himself successful as you unconsciously fucked down onto his fingers and tongue and lapped up the juices that flowed out of you with joy.

And then came the moment you both waited for, but for different reasons. To Fyodor, it was about fucking your tight little pussy and ruining you with one thrust at a time while keeping you dependent on him. To you, it was about finding that rare unity you experienced in your relationship, or at least pretending to. And fuck it felt good.

You stayed in your own separate worlds, though you pretended to be as one as he buried himself deep inside you, his large cock forcibly stretching open your weeping pussy. The way you screamed his name as the searing pain overtook your bottom half went straight to his cock, pulsating inside you.

“F- Fe- Fedya, please-“

“Please, what?”

“Please don’t stop.” Your blindfold was soaked with tears and the pillow you laid on was soaked with drool.

“Wouldn’t dream of it, darling.”

He fucked into you without reservation, shaking the creaky bedframe to the point where you worried for its structural integrity. Your body convulsed at the stimulation and your wrists struggled against the rope, even as the coarse material dug into your skin. Fyodor knew how to thrust into you with just the right force, just the right angle to have you falling apart underneath him, and he wasted no time getting there.

He leaned forward to drape his slim body over yours, wrapping one arm under your torso to hold close to him, though you had nowhere to go anyway. He used his free hand to jerk your neck to face him before pulling you into a messy, backwards kiss. It was all teeth and tongue as your shaking bodies and blocked vision worked against you.

“Can’t wait to come inside you, see you so full of me you can’t even hold all of it.” His deep, gravelly voice echoed in your ears.

“P-Please.”

His thrusts increased as he chased his high, fucking so hard and deep he brushed your tender cervix. You knew your ass would be covered in bruises, too.

All movement stopped as he groaned, spilling hot seed inside you as he held you even closer to his chest. The way your bound wrists held your arms in a painful position between your two bodies was almost poetic in a way, that a moment like this could ever be pain free. And as he slowly pulled out and you felt come dripping down your thighs while tears threatened to spill, he leaned in close to whisper something in your ear.

“Dance with me, darling.”

#fyodor smut #fyodor x reader #bungo stray dogs x reader #fyodor dostoyevsky bsd #flora’s fics

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ophelia-writes · 3 years ago

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//INAZUMA ARCHON QUEST SPOILERS BELOW!!

a/n: ok so the scaramouche brainrot has been REAL, i’m so glad that i finally got to meet him in game (i joined after 1.1 sobs so i didn’t get to see him in unreconciled stars) but uh basically i’ve been thinking about him nonstop all week. he’s been in my dreams. he will not leave me alone. so i’ve decided to write more self indulgent fanfiction of him adjsjskhgfh enjoy <3

brave or stupid - scaramouche x gn!reader

warnings: slight violence, mentions of death

he had always been like this— callous, unfeeling, and cruel. after all, when you’re created as a toy that’s designed to be discarded, you’re bound to have a bit of bitterness.

but, to be honest, scaramouche wasn’t sure if he was even capable of kindness. sure, he could be polite to people from time to time if he wanted something from them, and he always showed respect towards the tsaritsa. but he would never show kindness for kindness’s sake. that just wasn’t his style.

besides, he wasn’t even human himself, so why should he care for human lives or emotions? they would be dead before he knew it, there was no point in trying to consider their feelings. he was a superior being, above the needs and trials of mortals. he should be able to do as he pleased.

so why, why did you intrigue him so much?

just a lowly, powerless human, with no vision or delusion, no special abilities to set you apart. and yet, you’d put your life on the line for just about anyone, despite not having the power or means to defend yourself, caring not for your own safety. what kind of idiot were you, exactly?

here you were, throwing yourself in front of the merchant scaramouche had been planning to fry for neglecting his debts. you were small, perhaps even smaller than him, with nothing but a stick in your hands. the sight was hardly threatening, and he would have killed you in an instant if it weren’t for the unwavering look of determination in your eyes. there was something different about you, he realized. something he rarely ever had the chance to see.

you weren’t afraid of him.

you, a weak, powerless mortal without even a sword to protect yourself, showed no fear in the presence of the sixth fatui harbinger himself. and scaramouche couldn’t decide if that made you incredibly brave, or incredibly moronic.

probably the latter.

rolling his eyes, scaramouche lowered his electro-infused hands and placed them firmly on his hips. “get lost, rat, before i kill you too,” he ordered, looking you straight in those big, determined eyes. but you refused to back down.

“do it, then,” you replied, gritting your teeth. you gripped the stick tighter in your hands and pulled your scarf down from your head, letting your hair flow freely. if you were going to die today, so be it, but you wouldn’t stand by and let this man terrorize your village.

scaramouche blinked. he had never seen someone with such a blatant disregard for their own life. in a way, you were like the opposite of himself— weak, kind, and selfless. looking at your small, bundled up form, gripping the stick like it was a mystical polearm forged by the gods, glaring daggers at him, he couldn’t hold back his laughter.

“hahaha! ahahahaha! god, i can’t tell if you’re bold or just stupid!” the harbinger took a step forward, the psychotic grin on his face never fading. but you stand your ground. “you know, i really don’t understand why you would risk your life for someone like this. i mean, you’re a pretty little thing,” he began, his violet eyes tracing over your features, “surely you must have more to live for?”

you frowned. “it’s not about me, it’s about the people i’m trying to protect,” you replied, casting a glance to the merchant and his family behind you. out of the corner of your eye, you could see him huddled against the wall, his small daughter gripping his arm while his wife held two other children to her chest. you weren’t about to let him kill these innocent people!

“why bother?” scaramouche asked, waving his hand dismissively. “they’re going to die anyways, it’s not like you can stop me.”

you bit your lip. he was right, of course— you had no vision, no sword. and even if you did… you would be nothing compared to a harbinger. but that wouldn’t stop you from trying. “i won’t leave them,” you finally replied.

scaramouche wasn’t laughing anymore. in fact, he himself wasn’t quite sure when his amusement turned into annoyance, but what he did know was that you were making him angry. “why…. why? this is a pointless waste of life, a worthless sacrifice— you know you can’t stop me, so WHY?” the air around him was now crackling with electro energy, and you could feel it.

still, you showed no fear.

“because, unlike you, i actually care about other people! i wouldn’t be able to live with myself if i just stood by and did nothing while those around me are struck down by the tsaritsa’s stupid lapdogs!” you were shouting now. you kind of had to, the electricity in the air making your ears ring and your head fill with static.

that was the last straw.

scaramouche let out an irritated growl, sending a wave of electric shock towards you with a sweeping motion of his hand. the impact threw you backwards, your petite form landing limply in the snow.

the harbinger looked down on you, heaving with rage. how had he let such a stupid mortal get him riled up like this? he should have just killed you when you had first gotten in his way. eyes narrowing, he crouched down and took your wrist to check your pulse.

then your knee collided with his face.

“agh, you—!” scaramouche raised his hand to his jaw, holding the spot where you had struck him. it was definitely going to leave a bruise, and scaramouche did not like looking weak. you quickly picked yourself up out of the snow, scrambling to your feet. you frantically looked around for your stick (not that it would do you much good), but it had flown far out of reach when scaramouche’s attack hit you. “how…. how dare you assault a harbinger?” he asked, his voice laced with anger.

you shrugged. “you assaulted me first.”

scaramouche’s eyes flashed bright violet, another surge of electro gathering in his hands. “alright, enough playing around. it’s time i finish you, for real this time.” your eyes settled on the sadistic smile that had formed on his pale face, likely the last face you would ever see.

still, you showed no fear. “go ahead,” you replied. “i’ll gladly die the hero who managed to kick a harbinger in the face.”

scaramouche narrowed his eyes. you were the most audacious mortal he had ever met.

you raised your head and looked the balladeer right in the face and said one last prayer to the archons. please protect this village when i’m gone.

and with that, a flash of purple filled your vision, casting a brilliant lilac glow over the snowy sneznayan terrain.

ahh! sorry for the cliffhanger/bleak ending but rest assured there will be more parts hehehe <3 hope you enjoyed reading this as much as i enjoyed writing it!!

taglist: @kazuhasbiggestsimp @mrsugawara @xiaos-wife @xiaoslilpogchamp

if you want to be added to my scara taglist or specifically just the taglist for this fic, comment and i’ll make sure to add you <3

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adventurebarsous · 5 years ago

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by 2onions 💖

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pinky-the-elephant-room · 4 years ago

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AN: Ok so I’ve been gone for a while but I’ve hit a milestone in my followers and I decided to write one for my original anime hubby. He’s an oldie but a classic. Everyone loves Kakashi-sensei. Anyway It’s a long one so I hope you enjoy!

Warning: Implied smut but fairly SFW.

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Everyone has read the Fanfiction, and everyone has read the stories. Someone mysteriously dies and gets reborn in a new world. Only to train and become a badass before eventually getting their favorite character to fall in love with them. All while changing the story to prevent people, they’ve never met from dying. It was a wish fulfilment story and it works as entertainment. But real life is so much more difficult than anyone realizes.

Because in the end the person I was before never really changed even when I was reborn into a world of ninjas.

My first memory that I can clearly remember is eating ice cream outside my parent’s farm. I was born in a mundane village a few miles from Konoha. Ice cream was a rare summer treat that my parents occasionally indulged me and my five siblings in. It was on this rice farm where I spent the first five years of my childhood. I went to a civilian school that taught me to write and read before spending the rest of my days helping my family. I remembered nothing from my previous life. Just flashbacks and deja vus that left reminiscent feelings lurking in the back of my mind. Kanji was unexpectedly hard for me versus my sibling who picked it up with ease. Yet, when I finally grasped the language, I kept journals of writings not knowing that it was a passion resembling my former self. I also never understood my connection with cats. I was known as the resident cat girl that went around picking up stray cats to bring back to our farm. And the cats formed a bond, only tolerating me and hissing at everyone else who dared to approach them.

The peaceful years unfortunately didn’t last. Over the years war and bandits took a toll on our quiet town and maintaining a farm was no longer profitable. So, my parents made the decision to sell off their land and move to Konoha. Though, my parents were apprehensive, me and my sibling were ecstatic at living in a shinobi village. Everyone knew of shinobis, the legends surrounding them. Tales of bravery, heartache, and loyalty, it fascinated the residents of the village.

We moved into Konoha early August just before winter arrived and were citizens after 3 months. The process was short due to our lack of shinobi lineage and arriving from a civilian farm town. It was in Konoha that I really got my first exposure to what shinobis actually were. Seeing them jump off the roofs while my father tended his produce stall was mesmerizing. Playing ninja with the rest of the kids and constantly being surrounded by the hype eventually got to the point where I wanted to become a ninja myself. Along with two of my younger siblings, I begged my parents to attend the academy. They eventually relented when they realized the village offered funding for civilian children to attend. I was the only one out of my siblings to pass the entrance exam. I was the only one physically fit enough where they thought I had potential. when I left for that first day, it led to some tantrums and pouting from my siblings who didn’t make it. They eventually overcame their jealousy. They loved to hear about each and every new jutsu that I learned.

It was at the academy when I first saw him. It was him who destroyed my delusions and awakened my suppressed memories. It was Itachi Uchiha. Yet, despite his young age he kept up with the rest of his older classmates. He was only 5 years old, a prodigy amongst prodigies. When I saw his cherub, cute face for the first time, it gave me a headache. It started off as a numbing sensation on the side of my head. I collapsed on my bed from the exhaustion, closing my eyes because the blurred vision made the pain that much worse. I slept off my headache for the rest of the day. And all my previous memories were unlocked.

I was a boring human being. A lazy person who had a multitude of mental issues that barely survived off my paycheck. Got married to an equally mundane individual and by the time we were 30, the passion had worn off. We never got divorced, too afraid of dating again and leaving our two children without each other. The only happiness that kept me grounded was my writing and my hobbies. Growing up I loved anime and lessened as I grew up with more and more responsibility. But Naruto was my childhood and coping mechanism when I got bullied. And out of Naruto was my favorite character, Itachi Uchiha.

I don’t think I need to explain why anyone likes Itachi. From his tragic background and his love for his younger brother. Once as a naïve girl, I wanted to find someone like him or at least wished for a brother who loved his younger siblings like he did. And now somehow those desires came true. Because he sat only 3 rows away. Coupled with my new body’s memories of admiration for the young boy and along with my love and knowledge of what he was going to do in the future, made me yearn for him.

Not in a weird, sexual way. After all, I was still only 8 and he 5, but I wanted to be his friend. I wanted to be his confidant and most of all I wanted to save him.

When I spotted him alone at a lunch break, I decided to go introduce myself. This was going to be the new beginning of a friendship and hopefully more down the lane.

I took a deep breath to calm my nerves before approaching the quiet boy.

“Hello, are you Itachi-kun? Nice to meet you! I’m L/N Y/N and I sit behind you,” I cheerfully said and waved at him excitedly.

He blinked slowly and stared at me for a few minutes.

“Yes…. Nice to meet you too,” he uttered.

He stared at me for a few more minutes, making the situation more and more awkward. I let out a nervous chuckle and shuffled my feet at his intense gaze.

Itachi raised his eyebrow as if asking if I wanted anything else.

“Well I-“ I began, but was interrupted by a loud screech.

A boy collided with Itachi and knocked him over. The two tussled for a few minutes, the unknown boy laughing gleefully. While Itachi just sighed and dodged his rambunctious friend.

“Oy! Itachi, did you bring an extra bento that Mikoto-sama prepared?” The boy looked up and I stopped breathing.

It was a clearly healthy and alive, Shisui Uchiha. After a few minutes as the boys conversed, Shisui finally noticed me standing awkwardly in front of them.

He looked at me curiously and asked, “who are you?”

“That’s just my classmate. Anyway, Shisui I have my bento over there. Come,” the solemn boy said. The two boys then left while I just watched wide eyed.

Ok, so the first introduction didn’t go as I planned but I tried multiple times. However, each attempt was just as awkward as the first as I stammered and squirmed in front of Itachi’s inquisitive gaze. Apparently, my inept skills at talking to boys had somehow labeled me as a fangirl, I overheard the young boy tell his cousin.

Once after class, I watched a pretty Izumi clutch a content Itachi as he conversed with Shisui. The three Uchiha unaware of the turmoil in my heart as they went home for the day happily. I realized that day Itachi didn’t have a place for me. This world had no place for me because I was never meant to be here. This story wasn’t mine and it was never going to be.

I never tried again to attempt a conversation, too embarrassed by being called a fangirl. Before I knew it, the year was over and Itachi had graduated early along with his talented cousin. Farther away from my reach than ever, I again realized the difference between myself and the genius. I was still stuck in the academy at 9 years old with my peers. Most of all I knew in the depths of my heart that I couldn’t save him from his fate. Reality was much more bitter than anyone realized.

As for me I finally graduated on my birthday and my parents took us all out for yakitori at a restaurant. I was still going to try my hardest to be the best shinobi I possibly could be. At least if I couldn’t save Itachi and the Uchiha from the inevitable, which I doubt most people in my place could.

Unfortunately for me, my hardest didn’t amount to much. My sensei was a young impatient Genma who ironically had a toothpick in his mouth instead of a senbon. Let me summarize it for you, my team failed. Miserably. I stood there in horror, watching as my hopes and dreams for the future dissolved right in front of me. I rushed after Genma, pleading, and begging for another chance. Even resorting to full on ugly crying while he stood looking painfully uncomfortable.

“Please! I just wanna make a difference!” I begged as tears dripped down my face.

He sighed. “Fine! Just please stop crying. You’re embarrassing yourself and me.”

Genma recommended me for the Genin corps. It wasn’t where I wanted to be, but I also didn’t want to go back to academy. I figured if I spent a year on the corps, I could eventually find myself a Genin team before advancing onto Chunin.

However, once again what actually happened was far from my expectation. I didn’t spend a year or 2 years. I spent 7 years on the Genin corps. S-E-V-E-N. Years. I even spent a year on a Genin team when I was 13 only to realize my potential compared to my peers was very low. Don’t get me wrong my reincarnated body was ten times healthier and in shape than my previous coach potato one. I could barely run a mile in my previous life whereas now I could run 3 miles. However, that achievement paled in comparison to the average ninja. No matter what I did, whether it was taijutsu, genjutsu, or even ninjutsu was dull compared to everyone else. My punches lacked force, I didn’t have enough chakra for the higher level jutsus, and I couldn’t even tell the difference between a basic genjutsu to a complicated one.

Basically, I sucked, so I stuck to Genin corps. For the money of course, it paid pretty well in comparison to civilian jobs. I bought an apartment at 15 and I was able to provide for myself. But the crushing truth took a toll on my mental health. I just spend the time where I wasn’t working in my bed. I barely had energy to feed myself. I didn’t snap out of until I got straightened out by my mother.

“Y/N! When was the last time you took a bath or had a proper night sleep?!” Okasan yelled when she made an impromptu visit to my apartment.

I shrugged and took a bite of my rice ball that Okasan so nicely prepared for me.

“Look, I know being a ninja was your goal. But not everything in life works out. And not everyone has to be a shinobi to have a good life!” she said as her eyes softened.

“But what else am I supposed to do? I’ve been training to be a shinobi since I was 8 years old and none of the other jobs pay so generously,” I replied dully.

Okasan reached over and patted my hand. “Well, you don’t have to quit being a Genin just yet. Try new things or figure what else you want to do before you retire. Hell, when was the last time you had a hobby? You don’t even write like you use to.”

I considered it, maybe I could take up calligraphy or start writing again like I used to. I haven’t written anything down since I made Genin.

“Alright, I’ll think about it. But I’m not promising anything,” I grumbled.

“As long as you snap out of this funk and start taking care of yourself is all I ask for, Y/N” Okasan said with a soft smile.

It took a while after that conversation, but little by little I started to put in effort again. I cut my shaggy hair into an acceptable style, showered every day, and ate my meals on time. I even adopted a little stray off the streets that made itself home in my small apartment. One night coming home after my late shift, I stopped by a bookstore to buy a sturdy journal. I started off by journaling my daily life before letting my creative mind drift. In my previous life, I was a self-published erotica writer that basically did it for fun. Maybe it was something I could attempt again.

There were many drafts before I settled on a topic that I felt passionate about. In the Elemental nations, they idealized a woman who waited. Just take the bestselling Icha Icha novel for example, it involved a ninja who abandoned his wife because he was scared his enemies would target her. He spent the entire novel hoeing his way through the countries, only to realize he was still in love with his wife. The wife, who by the way, spent years celibate and faithfully waiting for her husband. That novel made me infuriatingly mad because it highlighted the double standards of the world I was born in so well. Hell, even in the future Sakura and Hinata would waste their lives, faithfully waiting on the men they love to reciprocate their feelings.

So, for my novel I decided to juxtapose those stereotypes by writing a novel about a woman named Sayaka whose boyfriend would break up with her, unknowing she was pregnant with his child. She spends her life trying to provide for her child, only for him to be kidnapped because he had a rare keikei genkai. She hires a local mercenary (Mahiro) except he’s not interested in her money but rather her. The rest of the plot was not decided yet, but I would see where it goes and plan accordingly.

The more I wrote the better I felt and the disappointment that was my career no longer felt like a death sentence. Without a laptop or anything to help me write, I had to resort to buying a used typewriter. Still I would rush home each day, excited to write another chapter. Or to get lost in the filthy world of the mercenary and desperate mother. There weren’t a lot of people I could trust to edit so I spent months editing and reediting until I had the best version of my novel. And then when I was done, I had no idea what to do with it. Did I really want to become an erotica author in this world? As violent as it was, the Elemental nations were still conservative regarding sexuality. There were many female readers who loved Icha Icha but didn’t show it in public because it was seen as a dirty book for old men. After much deliberation, I decided to contact publishing agencies that weren’t affiliated with Icha Icha.

Waiting for their responses took months and many rejections before my novel was picked up by a small agency that mostly published Nonfiction. The agency would send an editor to talk about contracts and the novel itself to Konoha. So, by my 18th birthday, I was anxiously awaiting where else fate would take me.

The editor and I had decided on a family restaurant to meet up and I dressed in my best clothes to give off the optimum impression. I really wanted this to work out for me. For once.

It didn’t take long before a harried young man in a suit came in and looked around anxiously.

“Nino-san! Over here!” I called out and waved my hand to get his attention.

He looked at me in surprise and sat down across from me.

“Uh, hello. Excuse me can you tell when Y/N-san will arrive? I’m kind of on a deadline.”

I looked at him weirdly. “Um, I’m Y/N. Nice to meet you,” I said cautiously.

He stuttered wildly, blushing as he pointed at me. “B-be serious! No way are you her! You’re way too young to be writing such a – “

“Filthy, dirty novel?” I finished wryly.

He shook his head vigorously. “No! I meant such a hardcore erotica! I-I’m so sorry that came out wrong.”

I just laughed. “It’s ok. I’m a shinobi, we age faster than we look due to the trauma.”

We spent the next hour talking about the novel itself and how it would be promoted.

“So, Y/N-san. Our agency usually doesn’t deal with erotica. But your novel has a good chance to sell well if someone promoted it correctly. We want this to be known as the Icha Icha for women.”

I felt my eyebrows furrow. “Isn’t that a little presumptuous? Won’t I just get hate if I don’t live up to the expectations?”

The man let out a chuckle. “That’s true but I don’t think most people will be disappointed by it. Besides it’s very important for new authors to get their name out there. Maybe for future sequels we can tone it down, but for the first one we want to start off with a bang! Any publicity is better than none,” he reasoned.

Realizing the editor might have a point, I agreed and signed a contract with the publishing agency. The novel was due to be out December which is 6 months from now on. For the first time in a while I had achieved my goals. I had managed something without it going terribly wrong.

I got a small sum of money when I signed the contract, but I really wouldn’t be to collect royalties until the book was published. So, for the rest of my time I diligently did my job as a Genin by delivering messages and other nonsense jobs that were left over. As I avoided the shinobi bars that were filled with accomplished Chunins and Jounins, I promised myself that I would never again be embarrassed to walk these streets again. For the past few years, I had kept my eyes down as I walked through the villages as I got older and older, yet I still remained a Genin.

‘Please no more. Give me something to be proud of.’ I begged in my mind. Even if it meant a trashy porn, I was so low on self-esteem, anything would be worthwhile.

Luckily for me, it seemed like 18 years of bad karma was finally going to be turned around as the date to publish my novel got closer and closer. The agency hadn’t lied, they promoted my novel almost aggressively. Every bookstore had huge advertisement declaring the next big hit. Though, I had giggled almost manically when I saw the book’s cover for the first time. It reminded me of the many trashy novels from my previous life with the man’s shirtless abs on display with a beautiful woman clinging. However, for my novel it was obviously a rogue shinobi with his chest on display as a young girl clutched his biceps. Scarlet Heart series was the name I had chosen, and it stood out on the erotic cover. I saw many curious women fluttering around the display, almost shy in showing their interest. I even saw a man pulling away his pregnant wife as she read the synopsis, muttering angrily to himself.

When the launch of the book occurred, I holed myself in my apartment. I tried to relax and keep myself busy so I wouldn’t be too occupied with the reactions. I even took an entire week off from my usual work, feigning sickness in my family. I hung out with my oldest brother and his newborn son, trying to reacquaint myself with the siblings that I had long neglected.

I met up later with my editor to discuss how the book was faring, hopefully it did decent enough that I could have reason to continue my story. We met up at the same restaurant as before and Nino gave me a brilliant smile that quelled my fears.

“Y/N-san, your book’s sales did amazing in Konoha followed by Iwa and Kumo. The marketing towards women paid off because most of the sales came from women in their 20s to 40s. Heck, there were even a substantial amount from men who were curious. I think you should definitely continue this series. Do you have an idea where you’re going to take the story?” he gushed with excitement.

I sighed with relief, “I’m glad. I was so worried about the response I didn’t even go near any bookstores! As for sequels I have an inkling. I still have to work out everything, but I want to introduce Sayaka’s ex-boyfriend and maybe dabble in a proper love triangle.”

Nino-san nodded and said, “you should be careful how you write that triangle though. Some love triangles can get tedious and annoying, but it does play its part well in keeping the audience’s interest.”

Nino-san and I eagerly discussed the future for Scarlet Heart. I felt a flutter in my heart, knowing that for the first in forever I had something to look forward to.

Time Skip~ 1-year Kakashi POV:

Really with everything he had endured in his life, you would think the world would be willing to give him a break, right? Nope!

Most think it started with Obito’s death, but he thought it started with his father’s suicide that really began the downward spiral. Nevertheless, after his teammate’s death, he and Rin had rushed into a presumably “relationship”. But really it was a way to keep her close, so he didn’t lose anyone else. They never even kissed though he knew Rin desperately wanted to do all the things that couples do. But he remained closed off in those four months before she was killed. By him no less.

Afterwards included him coping with his trauma by joining Anbu (and for a short while Root). His sensei became Hokage; but even he would pass away along with his wife, leaving behind a tiny blond sacrifice for the village to turn their resentment against.

But he was getting ahead himself months before Rin’s death Jiraiya-sama had approached him with a gift.

Jiraiya gave him an exaggerated wink and giggled. “Here gaki. You’re so depressed that Minato and Kushina keep thinking they might have to stage an intervention. But what you need is a distraction and I have just the thing!”

He had handed over a book with a bright red cover before hopping roof to roof all the while laughing obnoxiously.

He took it with a surge of curiosity, emotions he hadn’t felt in a while since Obito tragically passed away (AKA crushed by a boulder, but he digresses).

That started his love, well more like obsession, with the Icha Icha series. First, he was revolted and ashamed, eager to find the Sannin and perhaps show him the effectiveness of his Chidori. But over time his curiosity couldn’t be contained, and he finished the naughty book in two days. He noticed how when he was occupied with the book, he hadn’t once thought of Obito and everything that was wrong with his life. Of course, he had a girlfriend then so he couldn’t risk being seen with the book outside of his humble apartment. But a year after Rin’s death, he ventured out with his hobby. The reactions of the general public had amused him beyond belief and a strange sense of vindictive righteousness set upon seeing his Anbu kohais’ reactions.

The reactions only encouraged him to read everywhere and anywhere. He even managed to piss off Gai once as the incensed man ran away to do a 100 more laps around the village. It didn’t last long before he reappeared to challenge Kakashi once more, but Kakashi appreciated the brief reprieve.

Anyway, the point of this rather tragic flashback wasn’t to gain sympathy for himself, but to showcase the real injustice that occurred at his tender age of 25. His beloved Icha Icha had a rival apparently. Which was bullshit, obviously. He wasn’t blind to the errors of the pornographic novel. The plot was simple, characters were paper-thin, and as more novels debuted in the series, the more apparent the similarities between each novel became. But the series was fast moving, the sex was incredibly detailed and arousing, and the series was frankly addicting. Once someone became a fan, it was impossible not to reach for the next one.

So, when he heard about this supposed series that was going to rival Icha Icha, he had scoffed and rolled his eyes. Many contenders claimed the same thing before they faded off into oblivion when everyone realized the superiority of Icha Icha. The first four months of the series’ debut he made it his mission to ignore all the hype and kept rereading his collection. After all, when the next issue of Icha Icha released, everyone would forget the hype of this wannabe.

Unfortunately, the world never adheres to his expectations and loves to fuck him over every chance it got. Kakashi, once again, had failed another Genin team because Hokage-sama thought he had potential as a sensei. He must have been smoking that pipe too much lately. The rest of his fellow Jounin invited him to a bar where he reluctantly agreed and was dragged off by Asuma.

They settled in and ordered some drinks, while Kakashi read his book, half listening to the conversation around him.

“I’m telling you this book is really good. I know people say it’s for women, but it’s so much more than that.” Kurenai persuaded Genma who just looked skeptical.

“Even Asuma liked it!” She pointed to the smoker who just looked embarrassed at the sudden attention.

Asuma cleared his voice a couple times. “Well, it’s not that bad at all. It kept me busy for a couple of hours for a few days.”

Kurenai rolled her eyes at him. “He loved it. He told me he did.”

Kakashi’s interest peaked and he lowered his book down.

“Wait, are you talking about that new series that everyone’s losing their minds over?”

Kurenai’s eyes lit up and she looked eager rather than the calm, collected Jounin she usually was.

“Yeah, you read it Kakashi? I never thought for once you would put down that trash and try something else.”

Kakashi felt his ire rise and his single visible eyesmiled at the red eyed kunoichi.

“Why Kurenai doesn’t that book also have porn in it? Doesn’t that mean you read trash too?”

Kurenai’s cheeks heated up. “Well, it does but it’s also about a betrayed woman who learns to love again and honestly it’s much more nuanced than whatever Icha Icha achieved in its six sequels.”

Kakashi felt his eyebrows rise. He highly doubted that, but he couldn’t help but add in.

“And how do you know what’s in Icha Icha?”

The blush on Kurenai’s face deepened. “I might have read it but only because Anko forced me to. To ‘loosen’ up or whatever that means.”

Their fellow Jounin chuckled as Kurenai tossed back a drink as she tried to cool her overheated face.

The conversation moved on mercifully for the embarrassed woman, but Kakashi also lost his interest and he returned to the passage where Misaki was educating her lover on the preciseness of oral sex.

Kakashi hoped that would be the last time he ever heard of that book. But again, the hype for this novel continued. He spotted more women with erotica in their hands than he ever did in his lifetime. Even kunoichi seemed to have lost their minds as the book was the hot topic no matter where he went. Even the Hokage’s secretary was seen reading the porn while she was on the job. He was sick and tired of hearing about this supposedly incredible book. Kakashi just wanted to read his book in peace can’t the village go back to a time where it wasn’t consumed by porn?

Kakashi sighed as another day passed and yet another Genin team failed. When will Hokage-sama finally get the message he just wasn’t cut out for teaching? He sighed with relief as he flipped the entrance banner of Ichikaru Ramen and sat down on one of the stools.

“Just a miso ramen. Thanks,” he called out tiredly. Kakashi looked around the restaurant and was surprised to see another person at the other end. He barely noticed her; her chakra presence wasn’t much. She was just in a plain white t shirt and some pants. A civilian he guessed. Kakashi turned back when his order was placed in front of him. He stealthily looked around the restaurant and saw no one was paying attention to him. He pulled down his mask and started eating his meal. It was nice not to eat in big gulps for once lest someone saw his face.

When he was halfway through his meal, he heard the sound of someone turning pages and muttering. He turned around to see his neighbor writing in her book and she seemed to be fairly frustrated. Just as Kakashi was about to turn around and mind his business, he noticed that the book was the infamous Scarlet Hearts. He internally groaned. Really? Just how bad was his luck?

“Is the book any good?” He called out to the young girl.

Oh, damn why was he getting her attention? Abort! Abort! This day didn’t consist of making polite conversations with a civvie.

Just as he was about to maybe perform a last minute shunshin, the girl looked up at him and stared at him in surprise.

He felt nervous when she just kept staring at him for a while. Did she recognize him as the “friend killer” and infamous “copycat ninja”?

“Uh- Hello?” He waved his hands in front of her face.

The girl looked startled and flushed. “Oh, sorry. I got lost in thought. What was your question again?”

Kakashi pointed at her book and asked, “the book, is it as good as the hype says it is?”

She just seemed even more startled by the fact that he was asking about her book. “W-well, I’m not sure about other people’s opinions. But it’s worth reading just for curiosity’s sake. I found it pretty good.”

Kakashi stared at the awful book, wishing he could set it on fire just by glaring at it. “See, I don’t see why people are comparing it to Icha Icha. It can’t possibly be that good!”

“I kind of have to agree on that. The marketing really didn’t do it justice,” the girl muttered.

Kakashi tilted his head towards the younger girl and sent a relaxed smile her way. “Ah, thank you. Finally, someone who understands.”

The girl shook her head. “I meant trying to compare the two books wasn’t a good idea. They’re two different books, the only thing they have in common is that they both have explicit scenes.”

Seeing the confused look on his face, the girl further elaborated. “Icha Icha is intended for a one type of audience and it does its job well. There’s nothing wrong with that after all it has an ardent fan in you. But I feel like Scarlet Heart can be enjoyed by any mature individual. And for me what’s the most important thing is that it portrays its women realistically. Icha Icha is based off this fantasy, ideal type of woman who doesn’t have any drama of her own and goes around solving the male character’s issues. Or she’s a passive victim in the overall story for the hero to win over. This heroine in Scarlet Heart is cynical, hard to get to know due to her past. The male character is a typical chauvinistic guy who thinks he can have anyone he wants. But over time as they get to know each other the layers fall apart to show two lonely people who’ve been waiting for someone to connect to.”

Kakashi looked at the girl critically who sent a tentative smile to him after her long explanation. Her features were quite plain and at first glance she wasn’t anything exceptional to look at. But her smile lit up her entire face. He thought over her words, no one had ever explained the book quite like that. But then again, he never gave them the time to explain either. Perhaps, he was wrong to do so.

“Here maybe you would like to form an opinion yourself and see if it holds up,” she said as she handed over her own copy of Scarlet Heart.

He grabbed it from her grip, touching her soft hands by accident, quickly pulling away. “Are you sure? Weren’t you writing in it earlier?”

With a cute prominent blush, she replied, “it’s fine I bought that paperback copy to write in. I have another one at home. You can keep it. If we meet again tell me what you thought of it.”

Kakashi nodded and put the book with his Icha Icha in the weapon pouch on his hip.

“Mah, I’m sure we will. By the way what’s your name? After all, when I see you next time, I have to thank the person who will put up with my complaints.”

“Oh, I’m L/N Y/N. Nice to meet you,” she said with another bright grin aimed his way.

Ignoring the unconscious shivers that erupted on his body, he returned it with another one of his patent fake smiles.

“Hatake Kakashi. Nice to meet you as well, Y/N-san.”

The conversation died a few minutes later and he paid for his meal before leaving for his lonesome apartment. Maybe today the lonely dwelling won’t be so bad to deal with, what with new reading material the night might just pass by really quickly.

Return to Reader’s POV

You know when I began my porn writing journey in the Naruto world, I never for a second thought I would attract Kakashi’s attention. I mean I knew he read porn, but I honestly thought he would stay attached to Icha Icha forever. In the anime, he still read the book even years after Jiraiya’s death, so it just goes to show how much of a devoted fan he was.

When I met him accidently in Ichikaru Ramen, I was in a state of shock. I’m pretty sure he thought I was just another weird fangirl. ‘Just like Itachi.’ I couldn’t help but think.

But him asking about my novel and actually pouting about the attention it gained made me giggle even hours later. Still giving away the novel I was rereading to spot mistakes and plot holes was bold. I genuinely hoped he liked the novel; it would be a huge compliment if I managed to change his perspective. I know I wasn’t ever going to change his mind about Icha Icha, but he had plenty of money to support both series. I probably wasn’t ever going to see him again, but it was nice to interact with a canon character for once without entirely embarrassing myself.

I shook off the excitement from interacting with the scarecrow sensei and tried to focus on brainstorming my second novel. The love triangle was going to become much more integral in this part and I was going have to work extra hard to make readers sympathize and like Shoutaro. Because many of my readers were already enamored with the hotheaded, flirtatious mercenary with a heart of gold, Mahiro. The best way to build the triangle was to showcase pros and cons of both men. Thereby making the triangle stronger and give readers something to root for. While there would be only one man who would get the girl, I wanted readers to feel conflicted between the two men. However, to keep the choice from happening out of nowhere, I also had to hint throughout the novel why Mahiro and Sayaka was the best choice. So, by the third novel when Sayaka made her choice, it wouldn’t seem like it happened out of nowhere. Indeed, the sequel was harder to write than the first one because I had high expectations to overcome this time. Brainstorming even took longer than normal. Though, it was challenging, I decided needed a break and took a trip to the markets to finally restock my empty fridge.

Slowly I made my way through the vegetable stalls and tried to pick out the ripest ones. Most people usually tried to barter the prices. However, since the massive royalties I had more money than I knew what to do with and so I paid the full amount at each stall. Most of the produce stalls were run by elderly couples and they needed the money for their livelihood.

I bowed to an obasan and thanked her when she gave a few extra tomatoes after I paid.

“You know most people would try to barter the prices down to a fair price,” a deep voice interrupted just as I was about to walk away.

I jumped and almost dropped my produce. A steady hand gripped my hips and set me right. I looked up to the masked, silver haired Jounin. I blushed, feeling his strong hands on my body. His single eye widened a bit before he relaxed and let go of me.

“You ok?” he asked.

“Y-yes, thank you. Hatake-san,” I stuttered and bowed my head.

“Ma, no need to call me Hatake-san. That makes me feel older than people think I am.” He said as he waved off my gratitude.

“Hai, K-kakashi-san then. What are you doing here? No offense but I didn’t realize that elite shinobis had time to shop and cook for themselves.”

It was true from what I heard. All elite shinobi, especially men, rarely cooked for themselves relying on easy to make or restaurants meals to get them through the day. Some even ate rations to forgo meals in a rush.

Kakashi raised his eyebrow at me. “Well, I was actually looking for you. I’ve finished the book you loaned me after a week. It’s only right to return it.”

I shook my head. “It’s alright. I told you to keep it didn’t I?”

I felt my head get hit lightly by something. I looked up to see it was my paperback novel. When did he pull that out? Did he have it on him all this time and I didn’t noticed it until now?

“You’re quite stubborn, aren’t you? Let’s just say I needed an excuse to find my partner in crime and tell her my opinion of the book.”

I sighed, realizing that I couldn’t get away from his rant that he will no doubt tell me with relish on how much he hated the book.

“Alright, but I have to put my groceries away.” I said lifting my bags.

“It��s fine. As long as it isn’t milk or meat it wouldn’t be spoiled for a few hours. Come on, I’ll treat you to some dango.” He walked away slightly slouched and relaxed with his hands in his pockets.

I looked after him helplessly, hesitating on whether I should follow or not.

“You better follow him, jou-chan. He’s quite handsome,” the obasan said as she helped another customer. A few giggles slipped out from the customer and I felt my cheeks go hot from embarrassment. I bowed and thanked the elderly lady again before following the Jounin.

I caught up to him in no time, we both walked silently before we came onto the small stand that was selling the sweet.

Kakashi told me to take a seat on a bench nearby as he grabbed the sweets. I put down my groceries near me as I waited for my companion to return.

He came back with two skewers of dango and handed me one while he held onto the other one.

“So, what did you think of the novel?” I asked as I took a bite of the dango.

“I hate it to admit it but it’s good. Not better than Icha Icha of course, but it’s better than some of the others that tried to ride the coattails of Icha Icha.”

I felt a burst of butterflies inside my stomach and I leaned forward eagerly. “Really?!! What did you like it about it specifically?”

He seemed amused at my enthusiasm. “Ah, well I liked how the author built up the romance. They didn’t have sex right away, but when they did it made sense-“

I felt my heartbeat increase and my ears felt hot when I heard the word sex come out of Kakashi’s mouth. How did I ever not know how nice his deep voice was? I bet he would be really good at dirty talk—Ahh, nononono. That was not a good topic to think about while you’re talking to the man. I bit my lip to concentrate on what Kakashi was trying to tell me.

“And I like how the female characters made smart decisions and acted cautiously instead of getting kidnapped all the time. It made them seem like real people instead of plot conveniences.” He finished with an eyesmile.

I returned his smile, liking that he appreciated the portrayal of the female characters. Some of the detractors apparently didn’t like the more rounded characters and felt they should just be used as sauce instead of being the main dish.

“Do you prefer the woman in Scarlet Hearts or Icha Icha?” I asked playfully.

He narrowed his eyes at my tone. “Weeeell, the women in Icha Icha are much more beautiful, but the women in Scarlet Heart are more attainable than the ones in Icha Icha.”

I let out a laugh. “That’s nice to hear. But I’m pretty sure that Sayaka isn’t a real person. Sorry, Kakashi-san.”

He let out a disappointed sigh. “I guess I will have to safeguard my heart until I can find someone close to her then.”

I snorted knowing Kakashi would remain single even at the end of the series where everyone was getting married and having kids.

“What? You think it’s hopeless?”

I just sent him an innocent smile and said,” I have no idea what you’re talking about Kakashi-san.”

Me and Kakashi stayed for a few more minutes before I decided to head home. Kakashi stuck close to me, telling me he would keep me company until I arrived. He looked surprise at the neighborhood I was living in. The small apartment I was previously inhabited was now upgraded to an upscale three-bedroom apartment. It was a safe neighborhood that was occupied by wealthy merchants and high-ranking shinobis. I ignored his reaction and continued to walk toward my apartment.

When I had trouble trying to juggle my groceries and trying to grab my keys from my purse, Kakashi stepped in to grab my bags. I thanked him and opened the door. He casually walked in and left the bags in the kitchen at my directions.

“Would you like some tea? I think some tea would be good with the sweets we just had.” Kakashi just nodded in agreement as he looked around my apartment. The tiny stray who I adopted became a giant, fluffy monster who was now sniffing Kakashi’s feet and rubbing against his legs.

I giggled and left to make some iced sencha green tea. I tried not to let my excitement that THE Hatake Kakashi was standing in my living room, distract me from being a good host. I filled the glass with tea and dropped some ice cubes in it before putting it on a tray and bringing it out to the living room.

“Kakashi-san? Here’s your tea,” I called out happily and looking up to see Kakashi’s back.

I furrowed my eyebrows when he didn’t respond. “Kakashi-san?” He was still turned around and looking at something.

I put the tray down on a coffee table and approached the unresponsive Jounin. I looked down to see papers in his hand and felt my face pale drastically.

“A-ahhh! That’s not for your eyes!” I laughed hysterically and snatched my papers from his hands. I quickly took all my notes and notebooks which I brainstormed in and dropped them off in my bedroom. With a head full of excuses as to why I had Scarlet Heart’s sequel on the sofa, I made my way back to Kakashi.

“You’re the author of Scarlet Heart?”Was the first thing he asked when he saw my face. I felt my face heat up.

“U-um, no! That was just me amateurly writing as to what I think will happen in the future!”

He shot me a serious look. “Do you think I’m stupid? That was the first chapter all neatly written down. And the character profiles of future characters like her ex-boyfriend are all filled out accurately. Plus, you’re a single young girl that’s living in such a rich neighborhood which many people can’t afford unless they have some serious cash. Cash from a recently released erotica maybe?”

His intense gaze made me sweat profusely and I couldn’t hold eye contact for more than a minute.

“Yes. Yes, I’m the author of Scarlet Hearts.” I whispered, looking at the ground.

I quickly gazed back at him when I heard a snort. Kakashi gave me an incredulous look.

“I can’t believe it. Even though I saw it with my own eyes. You’re so young! How old are you, 16?”

I pouted, puffing out my cheeks. “I’m 19! Besides you’re a shinobi what does age even matter? You’re a legal adult when you’re a Genin!”

Kakashi let out a chuckle and softly patted my head. “I know that but you’re a civilian so it’s different.”

I bit my lips deciding whether to tell him I was actually a former Genin corps. Deciding I didn’t need the genius looking at me in pity, I didn’t correct him.

“Well, now that you know. Please keep this a secret, ok? I just want to live in anonymity and write my books. Hence the pen name.”

Kakashi agreed and messed with my hair some more.

“You got it, Y/N-chan.” I blushed at the added chan in my name.

He downed his iced tea in a hurry when an Anbu appeared at the window with a mission for him. I watched with amazement as Kakashi disappeared with a shunshin and then scowled heavily looking at all the leaves on the floor of my apartment.

“Note to self. Do not let elite shinobi shunshin in and out of my apartment,” I grumbled to myself as I swept up.

Kakashi’s POV 2

You know how once you find out something about someone it changes how you look at them. He was now intensely curious about Y/N. He figured she was a normal innocent girl, but boy was he wrong about everything. How was he supposed to know that the sex scenes that had him riveted to the point that he took a shower to calm himself before he resumed reading was written by a cherub slip of a girl? After his discovery Kakashi was unable to leave her alone. He frequently took time out of day when he wasn’t on a mission or training his helpless cute team (he had a team now!!), he was spending time with Y/N. It was kind of weird at first after all he went out of his way to avoid human contact, but in this case, he wanted to know what made her tick. All her favorite things and her habits. Kakashi wanted to know what made her sad or what made her be flushed with happiness.

Most of all he wanted to know how she came up with all the scenarios in her novel. But even he knew that if he asked her bluntly, she would no doubt kick him out of her apartment and refuse to speak to him again. It also didn’t help that his imagination went wild each time he saw her. All those scenarios would inappropriately pop up in his head and she would star in all of them. The blush on her face gave him a good idea on how she would look with her eyes dilated and with him on top. Whenever that happened the excitement coursing through would become prominent and he had to take a few breaths to calm him down. Imagining Gai in a bikini always did the trick for him.

Kakashi, after months of speculation, came to one conclusion as why Y/N was so fascinating. He wanted her. He wanted her in a way that men who were attracted to women did. In a way that meant commitment and all the mushy feelings. He groaned at that idea, Kakashi so didn’t want to act like Minato-sensei whenever he was around his hot-headed wife.

He could just ignore the feelings; he was quite good at ignoring all the turmoil inside of him. But his crisis shinobi therapist said he could no longer do that. He had to solve his lingering issues if he wanted to move forward with his life like his survivor’s guilt and his unresolved issues with his dead father. So that meant he had to make it obvious to Y/N that he liked her. Should he shout his youthful love on the top of the Hokage mountain at early in the morning like Gai would do? Kakashi chuckled at the novel idea. Ok, he was trying to get her to date him not run away from him. Luckily for him, fate decided to not be a bitch this time and give Y/N a nudge.

Kakashi was inside of her apartment like he usually was nowadays with her round monster of a cat on his lap. He absentmindedly patted the feline as he purred away like no one’s business. His ninken weren’t happy with him lately, but they will have to put up with it because Y/N was going to be around him for a long time if he had anything to say about it. He looked at Y/N who was hard at work on her second novel, typing away at the machine she called a typewriter. No matter what Kakashi did today, he wasn’t able to get her attention. She was intensely focused on the sex scenes apparently, which was a shame. Because he was right here, and she could be doing much more than just imagining it.

A mischievous idea popped into his head.

“So, Y/N-chan,” he called out.

She responded with a distracted “hm”.

“Do those explicit parts have any truth to them?”

That got the attention of Y/N and she turned around with a confused look.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean most people write about what they know. So, I’m asking if you have attempted anything from the books you write?”

Kakashi had pride within himself for the many ways he made Y/N blush. But the flush on her cheeks, ears, and her neck had no rival with the way her eyes seem to swirl with embarrassment.

“Kakashi-kun! I-I-. You can’t just ask that!”

“It’s true though. Everyone does research for their novels. Especially Jiraiya-sama,” he stated nonchalantly despite his eyes beaming with amusement.

She pressed her hands against her overwhelmingly hot cheeks.

“I’m not like that Sannin! I’ve never had sex before! I’m still a virgin. I just write whatever pops into my head,” she mumbled out.

Kakashi got up and made his way to Y/N. He leaned into her face as Y/N tried to scramble back, trying to get some space in between them.

“Y/N, if you ever need inspiration for your book. I’m right here and I’m happy to volunteer for such a good cause,” he said cheekily.

Her eyes widened and she gaped at him. She blinked several times as if she couldn’t believe the words that came out of his mouth.

Kakashi touched her cheeks, breaking her out of the stupor she was in. As he stroked her soft skin with one hand, the other pulled down his mask to reveal his face.

Y/N let out a squeak and gazed hungrily at his exposed face. Kakashi never considered what people thought of his face honestly but her reaction was gratifying.

He leaned in even closer and her eyes fluttered closed at his proximity. Knowing she was anticipating as much he was, Kakashi wasted no time in connecting their lips. She tasted heavenly and she let out a moan when he gently nipped at her bottom lip. He’s kissed plenty of willing partners, but none excited him the way she did. Her scent and the way her breath hitched when he brought her into his embrace intoxicated him further. It was obvious from the way she was responding; Y/n didn’t have a lot of experience. But he held her face gently and slowly swirled his tongue around hers, guiding her through what might be her first kiss. When she got the hang of it, Kakashi removed his hands from her face to her hips. Not wasting another moment, he gripped her ass tightly and appreciated the thickness he had been admiring for a while. She was an eager little thing and greedy. Every time they separated for a breather; she came back with more intensity than before. It’s like he awakened something, and she was willing to take whatever she could get. Unfortunately for Y/N, he didn’t just want to spend his time kissing. No, he wanted to inspire a very, very naughty section that would light the imagination of every woman in Konoha.

Kakashi pecked her pink, swollen lips one time before removing himself. She looked earnestly at him, trying to reconnect.

“How about you and I head to your room. And I could show you the benefits of a chapter on oral sex,” he huskily whispered.

Apparently, Y/N didn’t need further prompting because she dragged him into her room and swiftly closed the door.

Kakashi spent the rest of the night fulfilling his promising words. And when the second novel of Scarlet Hearts came out, chapter 13 became infamous amongst all. And all the practitioners of oral sex cursed the author because they could not live up to the fantasy that chapter inspired.

#kakashi x you #kakashi x y/n #kakashi x reader #naruto fanfiction #naruto x reader #kakashi fanfiction #kakashi imagines #kakashi hakate #naruto

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hahanoiwont · 4 years ago

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@bluerose2017 replied to this post: I feel that Frisk would get along so well with the more murder type sanses. Like Dust Sans from Dusttale, Nightmare, Killer, and Error. Frisk would understand their motives for being the bad guys.

Yes!!! oh boy, yes. ok ok let's go down a really self-indulgent path with this, alright? we're about to have good fun. which i will put under a cut bc it may get long. (EDIT: haha yeah it got long. multiverse shenanigans ahoy)

so let's say Frisk follows the path from Fall Into Grace. They go straight to Horrortale, and they stay there for a bit--sure, Ht!Sans starts out hostile, but the both of them slowly learn to trust each other. By inches, they try to come to understand each other. They both have in common that they were lurched from a deeply violent society into Regular Undertale (but spooky); they both clearly broadcast their trust issues, and therefore can work on them together. At the end of Horrortale, they're planning on sticking it out together on the Surface.

Then Frisk disappears. In Horrortale, their disappearance is while Sans is looking elsewhere--it's just like HT!Frisk's disappearance originally, except this time, they got everyone to the Surface first.

So now, Horror is having his triggers stomped on. Not a fan. He wonders at first if this is just what happens--maybe Frisk is meant to disappear, and HT!Frisk didn't mean to abandon the Underground to its fate. Maybe Frisk isn't a human at all, but some sort of apparition that appears periodically and vanishes just as quick. Maybe he's still starving and it's all a delusion his mind made for him as he's dying.

Or maybe Red crashes through, absolutely ready to shoot first and ask questions later. And suddenly Horror has his answers. Alternate universes. Obviously. Very stabby alternate universes.

Frisk, meanwhile, lands in Dusttale.

Dusttale, to my knowledge, is the AU where the human (whether it's Frisk, Chara, or the player is unclear to me) does genocide after genocide, resetting dozens or hundreds of times until not only does Sans remember, he also goes insane. Given the inevitability of all his friends dying, and how his low stats prevent him from fighting the human until they've killed enough people that his karma effect becomes useful, he decides he's going to kill everyone, gain the LV for it, and then kill the human as soon as they come around.

This is not a great situation for Frisk to be wandering into. Given that they're nearly identical (clothing aside) to their Dusttale counterpart, and Sans is insane anyway, they're not likely to see mercy in this world. Frisk walks in, sees that Sans is crazy, dies, walks in, sees that Sans is crazy, dies, walks in...

Eventually, a la WT!Swapfell, Frisk figures out the right ways to dodge as much as possible of the initial ambush; but they can survive for minutes at a time, if that. This Sans's stats are hopelessly inflated, and he doesn't play fair. It comes down to their DETERMINATION versus his, in a mirror of the same struggle that drove him crazy in the first place. This time, Sans is inevitably killing every monster, and Frisk is the one who can't save them. But, in a conflict of interests like this, Frisk is always going to win--they have an unfair advantage, straight out. They're simply more DETERMINED.

Eventually, Sans is stumbling bleakly through his genocide, disassociated to the point of hardly understanding what he's doing and why. He kills people because he kills people. He has a vague certainty that he's keeping them safe, but he doesn't understand how. He knows that he used to be different. He knows this is somehow Frisk's fault. But his ability to remember across RESETs is being buried under his inability to think straight under the massive trauma. He doesn't understand why he's killing his brother. He knows he doesn't want to. He knows that Frisk can probably tell him, but he also needs to kill Frisk very quickly, before they can gain EXP from...the piles of dust?...because there are no surviving monsters to kill.

He finally stops before killing Frisk and asks them why. Why are they making him do this over and over again? Why are they looking at him like that? Why is everyone dead? Why, when he's felt so numb for so long, does it still feel like it hurts?

Frisk has no idea why this Sans has killed everyone. Months have passed in increments of a day or less, as Sans swiftly and efficiently executes all of his neighbors. He's learned every place that people will go, and he shows up where the most people are congregated at a given point in time, leaving nothing but dust by the time Frisk gets through the Ruins. They've never gotten out in time to save a single monster. They're pretty sure Sans is possessed, or something, because this isn't something he would ever do (insert irony with Red's desire to kill literally everyone in Underfell).

When Sans doesn't kill them right out the gate, as it were, they begin to hope that whatever has been forcing him to do this has let go, or at least worn out enough that he's beginning to fight through it. They're not totally wrong--whatever is left of Sans is waking up, a little bit, as he leaves behind his scripted execution.

Frisk goes to Dust and tries to hold him, rocking back and forth like Red would do for them when they woke up out of a nightmare. He almost kills them for it, but what's the point? They'd just come back, and Dust would have to kill everyone one more time. He's tired. He lets them do what they want. It mostly makes him feel worse, but he doesn't stop them.

There's a strong parallel here to Going Big; Going Home. In that story, Red went into a deep depression spiral for months following his realization that he couldn't bring himself to kill every monster in existence even if it would save his brother; in this story, Dust has killed everyone already and no longer sees any point in much of anything, struggling to understand what has happened to him and why he did what he did. He wants to Fall Down quietly, but his newfound stats and his desire to survive until he's sure Frisk is dead won't let him. Also, Frisk is standing in his way.

Seeing as Dust is apparently going to be docile and passive for the time being, Frisk takes his hand and walks him through Snowdin.

They see a vision of a massacre.

Piles of dust, items lying around as if people just dropped dead in the middle of whatever they were doing. Doors are hanging open from where people went to greet their friendly neighborhood skeleton and ask what he was knocking for, only to die in seconds. The Underground was only somewhat prepared for a human to go through and get violent, and they weren't prepared at all for one of their own to kill them. Frisk sees every evidence of a very efficient, merciless slaughter. Dust is looking blankly at it all, like he can't quite put together what it means.

Frisk gets a strong feeling that they shouldn't visit their brothers' home.

Instead, they bring him to a cabin far removed from town, visible only from Glyde's ledge, and push him to sit in a wooden armchair. They pat his hand to tell him to stay there while they look through the cabin for dust. They don't find any. Dust could have told them they wouldn't, except that he's having trouble finding his voice right now. He waits where they put him until they give him the all clear.

He's supposed to watch the human. They're supposed to be doing something for him to watch them for. But the kid in front of him seems mostly interested in holding his hand and trying to smile for him. He sits in stasis, with his drive all run out but without anything else to turn to.

The first week is mostly silent. Frisk doesn't speak, and doesn't really communicate anything that Dust would need a response for. Dust chats with his hallucination of Papyrus sometimes, but since Frisk can't see him, the conversations end there.

On a given day, Frisk will set Dust up in the chair with a book that they've decided he'd like, sometimes with a blanket or a glass of milk to go with it, and they'll venture out to the Underground. Dust will shadow them from a distance as they investigate for survivors. There aren't any. They'll come home with some supplies and fill up the cupboards. Dust will already be there, right where they left him, with the book opened up to a random different page than before. If it's towards the end of the book, Frisk will decide that he liked it and try to find more books of that kind.

They'll go to the kitchen and try to put something together for dinner, and Dust will take all the cooking implements from them and actually make the thing they're trying at. He silently revokes their cooking privileges when they try to shatter a bottle of vinegar into a salad. Papyrus says he should have just eaten it. He also says that Dust is infecting Frisk with his horrible tastes in food, just like he's probably infecting them with the dust on his hands. How long until they're a killer like him? Dust tries to argue that they were the killer in the first place, but the words ironically die in his mouth. The truth is bitter, and he's not even sure what it is anymore.

After that, Frisk is allowed to taste test and get ingredients, and otherwise they're watching with their eyes and not their hands.

Once the food is eaten and cleaned up, Frisk will bring out something for the two of them to do together. Board games, card games, hangman, puzzles. Frisk always deals for two. Dust doesn't see a point in fighting them on it, which Frisk decides is a very hopeful sign. Sometimes he breaks the rules and just sort of moves one thing to another spot blindly, but he is moving!

Frisk usually wins these games on account of being the only one paying attention, but since they let him keep his illegal moves, he wins Sorry by sorta pushing his pawns into his safety zone on the fourth turn. After the game, Frisk always decides it's bedtime, gives Dust another book, and leads him to a bedroom, where they leave him to take it from there. Rinse and repeat the next morning.

The second week, Dust starts glancing at the titles of the books he's given, and maybe the summary if it seems interesting. He tells them not to bring him encyclopedias anymore. They bring him a dictionary instead. It takes him four minutes to decide whether killing them is an appropriate response.

(Verdict: no. It wouldn't make a difference, anyway.)

The third week, he walks with them on an outing. Frisk steers away from population centers and takes a back way through Waterfall to look at the lights. They sit there in silence--even Papyrus is quiet. The echo flowers have each had their messages replaced with a single, loud clap. Nobody says, "Why are you doing this? What--Sans, wait, wait--!"

The fourth week, Dust starts reading the books he's supposedly been reading all day during the night. It's weird to feel bored in the ashes of civilization. He tells Frisk short, single-sentence descriptions of the more interesting ones. They seem happy. Dust is pretty sure there's some sort of Stockholm syndrome going on here, but he's not sure which way it goes.

One universe over, Red and Horror are searching through a universe that seems like it's had some extradimensional interference, but it can't possibly be the one Frisk is in, because it's a dead Underground. As far as they can tell, there are no survivors. Still, they keep coming back to it--it's the only potential positive they've found. And even though the universe seems to be a dead end, things keep moving in it--a book vanished here, a cupboard rearranged there. It's like someone is very stealthily looting the place.

After seven weeks of quiet, routine days with quiet, routine ups and downs, Dust is taking charge of a few things. He tells Frisk what groceries to get, and decides what to make for meals. He's attempting his first joke in a long time when he dryly bans Monopoly forever, but somewhat to his surprise, Frisk listens. The Monopoly board doesn't come out again. He's not sure what to make of this--that the person who drove him crazy is the person who's trying to make him sane. Most of the time, he chooses to forget that there's anything but this. Two people exist in the world, and one of them is an unstoppable killer and the other is a patient, even-tempered pacifist. He can't even tell which one is which anymore. It's whatever.

Left to his own devices, Dust may have spent years or longer like that. The Underground may not have the resources to sustain all of its inhabitants without things like farmers or energy, but it's got plenty for two people. But Frisk writes a very short letter for him, saying, can we try again? Can you not kill Papyrus? I miss him and I want him to be alive.

Well, with an argument like that.

Dust doesn't really want to see a RESET. It feels like it isn't worth it, having everyone alive again just to watch them die. Even if Frisk doesn't kill them, who's to say Dust won't? Even if he doesn't kill them, who's to say that Frisk won't, either? Maybe the Underground will just cave in. Dust is sure he can't have that life again, surrounded by living people when even Frisk and his hallucinations seem like a crowd sometimes. He's pretty sure his LV stopped going down a few RESETs ago. He doesn't think he can be Sans again.

Eventually, he decides it doesn't really matter what he wants. Frisk will do whatever they want and there's nothing he can do to stop them.

After the RESET, Dust wakes up to his brother's voice, telling him it's time to start the day, and also his brother's ghost, already with him as always. He goes to the square just to see if he's gonna lose it and kill everyone, and now that he's looking, he notices the split-second flinches when people recognize him. Most of them don't even notice it in themselves, but they know he's something dangerous. He heads to the Ruins door and waits.

It's easier once Frisk comes out. No one in the Ruins is dead. Dust and Frisk both didn't kill them, this time around. If he sticks really close to Frisk, he can pretend everyone's apprehension is just for the human in their midst. After all, Frisk is just as much a killer as he is. It's not his fault his LV's stuck at 20.

Frisk has a tough time making friends. The people of the Underground seem to expect them to be some terrifying killer, and everyone seems to want to protect each other by killing Frisk. It doesn't help that Dust doesn't like people in his space much, and flashes his spooky-eye look at anyone who gets within about three feet of the two of them. They're not quite sure who he thinks he's protecting, but they trust him to have good reasons to do what he does.

The only time Dust leaves their side for any significant period is when they're with the real, alive Papyrus, who frets about his brother. Sans has gone missing, he explains, but no one will believe him because they've all seen him around. But he hasn't come home. People who don't come home are missing. So Sans is missing. He's certainly missing dinner, and Papyrus needs to get him to come home before he eats nothing but ketchup and grease for his meals. Frisk knows their own Papyrus well enough to see what he isn't saying--that Papyrus needs to get him to come home before anything bad can happen to him. That Sans disappearing when he seems so listless and blank can't be a good thing. That Papyrus is scared for his brother.

Dust can't stand to see his living brother. The idea puts him in a cold sweat. If Papyrus is living, then Papyrus can die. He prefers the phantom--cruel as he is, at least he'll never leave Dust alone. Dust can never hurt him and never kill him. Frisk can't even see him. As long as Dust is alive to see him, Papyrus's ghost is safe.

When Frisk breaks the Barrier, Dust disappears quickly afterwards. They find him standing alone a little farther down the cliffside, isolating himself; and they grab his hand again like they always do, to bring him back home. They're surprised when they fall out of the world--they almost forgot. They'd almost hoped it wouldn't happen.

Dust doesn't try to stop them. Just like always, he follows them through. He kind of hopes for oblivion, for an end to choices that he always makes into mistakes, but he's not so lucky. He wakes up to Frisk's frantic shaking in a patch of flowers far Underground. This is Underswap, and Dust is about to have a horrible day.

I think in this AU, I'm going to leave Killer's story--mostly because I don't know his backstory very well, just that he's Nightmare's right hand man and assorted other factoids. And since Nightmare isn't technically a Sans, just the embodiment of negative emotions, his universe wouldn't even be in the running for Frisk to land in--similarly, I am too charmed by Error's story to change it. So here's where I think this goes from here.

Nightmare arrives in Horrortale, intending to recruit Horror. The guy's life is miserable, there's no reason for him not to hop out of his universe to cause mayhem as long as it's better than starving. But the universe isn't the same anymore. Nightmare considers wrecking stuff in order to snack off of negative emotions, but Horror and Red are scanning the hell out of the universe, so Horror is able to pick up on a hole being punched in it and appear in a matter of minutes. He asks why Nightmare is here, and Nightmare says honestly that he was here to recruit him as part of a small team to complete certain missions, embodiment of negativity, eternal struggle in the multiverse between Nightmare and Dream, food and five-star lodging provided, etc. But it seems like he's got something going here, so...?

Nightmare is honestly fairly impressed that someone noticed him entering the universe so quickly, and he's hoping Horror may still be interested. It's too bad that Nightmare can't get Horror's lifelong trust and allegiance by rescuing him from a bad situation, but he's certain he can make it work. He only has one minion as of right now, that being Killer, and he'd like to have at least one more (if only so Killer will stop bothering him when he's trying to Plot Evilly. Also, Dream has two friends to Nightmare's one minion, and Nightmare can't be lagging behind, that's just unacceptable).

Horror may not need immediate rescue himself, but he sure knows someone who does. He asks a few careful questions about the multiverse--would i be able to visit other universes on my own? Yes. am i allowed to interfere with other universes? Encouraged, even. Especially where spreading misery is concerned. can i take someone out of a universe if they don't belong in it? What an oddly specific question. Nightmare is beginning to think he'll have a way to endear himself to Horror, after all.

Horror dismisses his questions as mostly being about the job he'll be doing--after all, if he's fighting people who travel between universes, of course he'd want to know if there are ways to track people across universes, or to tell if there's someone in a universe that doesn't belong there. Nightmare lets it pass without comment for the time being, but decides to keep an eye on the situation, to try to figure out what exactly Horror is looking for. If he's willing to leave his whole life behind and set himself up for a lifetime of fighting just for a chance to find it, then Nightmare has an easy way to earn his eternal loyalty. Muahaha.

Now of course, this is all for Evil reasons and not because Nightmare isn't sure how to make people like him if he doesn't provide some service or do some great favor for them. He certainly hasn't seen people love his brother for the happiness he provides, and said "I could do that >:( I could do Good Things for people and then they would Like Me and not hate me >:( and in fact I would do it while being Very Evil so I know they'll like me for me and not just because I'm, for example, a paragon of light and hope in the multiverse >>:( and then I would have better friends than Dream. and he will be super jealous. because i will have friends who like me. so there >>>:( this is what WINNING looks like, brother >:("

Now this would leave Red in the awkward position of being in the wrong universe and also missing in his own universe. I am not sure what I want to do with him here--he could come with Horror, and just sorta hang out as a Bad Sans. I know he's not normally one, but he comes from Edgy Universe so I could see it? But also, I know canonically Error steals from Red's chocolate supply, so I think it would be kind of hilarious if Error's been pissed bc his stock isn't being replenished, being as Red isn't around to buy more. And Nightmare could just. dump Red back in Underfell. Both as a favor to Error, to try to secure his loyalties at least a little, and as a show of how Powerful and Evil he is for his brand new recruit. Both options are tempting...I am undecided. But uh, something happens with Red. He is somewhere. Horror probably wouldn't just ditch him in Horrortale on his lonesome.

Now, Horror and Killer get along alright. Killer's got the sarcastic fast-talker charm, and Horror is getting used to being able to hold conversations at a normal speed again. And both of them get along with Nightmare. Killer is witty and challenging, and Horror is loyal and hardworking and (VERY important) knows how to cook great meals. No more mediocre fried rice. Scrambled eggs are no longer mysteriously watery. It is shocking how much home life improves with good food, and Horror is a big fan of having a seemingly endless pantry. His stipulation that a portion of everything gets sent home to Papyrus is a pain at first, but it's not so bad once it gets ingrained as a normal part of mealtimes. Sometimes his Papyrus visits, and that goes about as well as meeting family members of a dear friend for the first time can go. A bit awkward, but it settles into something positive.

The only weird thing is, with every new universe, Horror insists on making sure there's no one there who isn't native to that universe before havoc can begin. It's not a huge pain or anything, and it is a good move strategically, but it's a very specific request. Once it happens enough for Killer to get curious, it isn't long until the cat's out of the bag--a story of a sibling accidentally cast aside, a world that was cruel and unfair to them, a misunderstanding that made their brother think they were horrible and abandoned him to an awful fate when actually they'd done nothing wrong, and an endless journey that never seems to point home. And Horror was willing to put aside everything to try to bring them back--if not home, then at least to somewhere safe. To build new common ground together, after the old grounds went up in flames. To understand their side of it and see that they weren't wrong even if things looked kinda bad on their end, actually everything they did was completely justified, Dream--

Suffice to say that Nightmare is sympathetic. That is, he can see the strategic advantage to helping Horror find this sibling of his, and reunite them. Because then he'll have an endlessly loyal minion, and probably also an endlessly loyal minion-in-training. Obviously. He doesn't even believe in brotherly love, so obviously it's not out of some imagined desire to see his friend family underling scrape a happy ending out of what seems like an unrecoverable falling-out (complete with literal falling, in this case) with his sibling. It's just a matter of spending a tiny amount of effort searching for a months-old trace of a magical trail that's interrupted by not existing in some parts on account of time travel.

Killer iirc can't feel much of anything but hate, but he doesn't hate Horror, and it's not like he's forgotten what emotions are entirely. He does want the guy to be happy. They're kinda buds and Horror watches obscure competition shows at 3am with him when they both can't sleep. It'd be a little awkward to have a Frisk around, but at least it's not Chara. Most people he meets on a day-to-day basis are technically versions of him, anyway, and it's not like he can't differentiate them. He'd put up with it for Horror's sake. He'll only stab them if they're possessed, probably.

Thing is, when they do find Frisk (eventually Nightmare thinks to call in a favor from Error), Frisk is traveling universe to universe with some apathetic LV 20 Sans who is still trying to figure out when murder is and isn't the way he wants to solve his problems. Namely with other Sanses, since he has enough self-hatred that he can't imagine it's much of a loss. Thing is, he fcking hates it when Frisk time-travels, and it makes Frisk miserable, too, so he can't just murder every Sans who annoys him even slightly...but most Sanses don't take kindly to some LV 20 stranger wandering through...which means everything would just be easier if they were to go missing...not like more dust on his hands is gonna make a difference, right?

But no, Frisk always insists on going back to when the local Sans was alive, and it's just a waste of time and energy. So Dust mostly doesn't kill anyone who isn't a real jerk first. Mostly.

This is the scene that Nightmare & Co come upon when they finally catch up. They have to take a moment to regroup, because who even is this guy? He never leaves Frisk's side for long (local Sanses have a tendency to ambush and kill him for being a violent lunatic if they can get him alone, and then at least one party dies, and then time travel, etc.), he talks to thin air, he's generally Kinda Creepy.

Their initial thought is to try to get Frisk alone, but Dust in this time has noticed that they're being followed by a group of very suspicious characters, and tells Frisk to go on ahead while he lurks. It comes to a pretty devastating battle, between Dust's combat prowess and the gang's equally impressive abilities (Killer having done his own geno run, Nightmare having an impressive body count and also massive raw power on account of being kind of a demigod, and Horror himself being no slouch in combat). Frisk sits over in the next room like they're in the waiting room for a dentist's office, poking at echo flowers and waiting for their brother to be done with Mysterious Errands while ignoring three separate variations of Megalovania in the background.

Then Frisk figures, wait, there are a maximum of two Sanses...but three Megalovanias...that ain't right. Also, Dust said he wasn't gonna kill the local Sans this time. He didn't promise, but he said he would try, so he really shouldn't be sneaking off to pick fights. This is the conclusion Frisk comes to about six seconds before the wall is destroyed by stray blaster fire.

What they see through the wall is Dust, teleporting right out of combat to make sure they didn't get hurt or vaporized, and out of the rubble they can make out a goopy octopus Sans, a Target Sans (which makes other Sanses...walmart brand? food for thought), and a Sans that takes a second to place, because they really weren't expecting to see Horror here. And fighting Dust. Frisk is disappointed in him.

When the dust (magical and otherwise) settles, everyone ends up having a civilized conversation by the combined forces of Frisk and Nightmare. Killer and Dust were having fun, but not much was getting accomplished with massive property damage. It comes out that Nightmare's crew was coming by to get Frisk and rescue them from their endless tumble through the multiverse (which Error claims is giving him a headache anyway), and Frisk is very happy to agree to that part, and also to go live in a cool castle "for the time being." Allegedly, they will find somewhere else to stay soon, because Nightmare is not running a daycare for wayward interdimensional youth.

Frisk's condition is that Dust has to come with them, since he's been hopping through dimensions following them for so long now that they don't know what they'd do without him. Literally, every time the Barrier comes down, he waits for the hole in the world to open, takes a couple warm-up steps, and dives through after Frisk--he hasn't found a universe he could stand to stay in, yet. He hates the idea of living among people he remembers killing over and over again. At least if he follows Frisk around, he's with someone who seems to care about him for mystery reasons, and he might some day find an AU he'd be okay with. Maybe whichever one they settle with, if they find a way to stop falling. Which, it seems like they've got an opportunity here.

Nightmare is a-okay with gathering another unhinged duckling to take under his wing and occasionally let loose on unsuspecting universes (it's enrichment!!). He's seen that Dust is a great fighter, not too broken up about collateral, and having him around will make Frisk happy and therefore Horror will also be happy, therefore eternal loyalty, profit, etc.

(It has been a long time since Nightmare has been able to make someone he loves happy. It's been even longer since it's been so easy--what's one more mouth to feed? What's one more person who thinks Nightmare is capable of good without changing who he is?)

So Dust and Frisk end up moving in and Dust takes his place with the Bad Sanses.

Now there are a million things that could happen from here--well-meaning intervention from someone who discovers these psychopaths have kidnapped an innocent person for Clearly Nefarious Reasons, an intro scene between Frisk and Error (Error mentions that he's stolen their SOUL in uncountable universes and Frisk has no notable reaction to this, which really sucks the fun out of it for Error, so they end up watching trash TV together until Horror comes in to get Frisk for supper), Red's reunion with Frisk is gonna be great in any WT spinoff and especially in this, and general family sitcom shenanigans would be fantastic (can. can Dream babysit Frisk while everyone else is out. Nightmare absolutely forbids it bc Dream is a bad influence he doesn't like his people meeting Dream bc what if they like Dream more than they like Nightmare but what if it happens anyway. Ink wanders through while Error is babysitting and decides to Help, leading to an awkward day out with the Star Sanses, most of whom do not know Frisk at all. Ink forgets exactly who he's babysitting for and assumes they'll just come by and pick Frisk up eventually, which does happen, but there are a lot more accusations of kidnapping going around than is really necessary. Frisk and Blue are happy to see each other again at least).

Anyway this is,, a fantastic idea. rife with opportunity. I love it so much thank you for proposing it. wow,,

#whither then fic #writing tag #bluerose2017 #you're entirely correct and i am so glad you said something #sorry this took a while i got inspired #then it got uhh long #lol anyway i am not familiar with all of the multiverse but i think i did okay with this one!#i know horror and dust from general osmosis and dream and nightmare are interesting to me #in the sense that i throw out their canon and then have a great time #br. oth er s... ..#n e way idk if this was meant to be a prompt but thank you for it!!#im not sure it's enough of a story to post on ao3 but here is this thing

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