#BUT JOSHUA IS STEALING MY HEART I CANT HELP IT

[planetkiimchi-rbs]

me @ this fic (its so cute i wanna squish the life out of it)

felix felicis

summary. befriending minghao, the slytherin your friends (no one knows why) hated was horrifying at first. but after some time passed, you’d start wondering if it was some unknown side effects of felix felicis

word count. 7k. wtf.

warnings. mentions of social anxiety, swearing

genre. fluff with a pinch of angst i guess? angst/comfort? however u call it + a lil bit of humour :D

au. hogwarts :D slytherin!hao x hufflepuff!reader

extra. svt cameo and (g)idle cameo bc queen card is stuck in my head + i remembered that one minnie photo in slytherin scarf and i was like??? let’s gooo!!

a/n. this was so fun to write???? lmk if u like hogwarts au, i might write more in such vibes in the future!!! :D

you stormed into the classroom, textbooks almost falling out of your arms. you quickly scanned the room to see if snape was there… and of course he was there.

“um, good morning! i’m sorry for being late” you blurted out, walking over to your friends.

“what was it this time, miss l/n?” snape grunted, his eyes piercing your soul.

“the stairs” you mumbled, ready to shuffle over to mingyu, your friend. the slytherins snickered at your answer and snape stopped you with a tsk.

“miss l/n, since you’re late let me enlighten you. you’re doing a pair project on brewing felix felicis. and since you’re late you’ll be working with…” snape paused dramatically, looking for someone who didn’t have a pair “… mr xu”

“oh that’s just bullshit” seungkwan hissed, crossing his arms. dokyeom gasped dramatically.

“mr boo, i believe it is my task to pair students. if you’re disagreeing with that, you’re disagreeing with me. which means…” snape stopped, leaving the conclusion to seungkwan.

“just you wait until we tell soonyoung or seungcheol” kwan whispered to you. your older friends will be outraged as well, that’s for sure.

“move to your partner’s desk, miss l/n” your professor ordered and you gave last pleading look to your friends and slowly moved over to minghao, a fellow slytherin.

“poor y/nnie…” mingyu sighed.

it’s not like you personally hated slytherins or had a problem with minghao and his friends. it was your friends who didn’t like them (especially the gryffindors – seungkwan, soonyoung, deokyeom and chan). the main reason of your fear was purely your social anxiety and separation from your friends. and, well, the fact the slytherins were slightly intimidating. you heard they were gossiping about your friends and merlin knows if they weren’t gossiping about you either.

as snape started his introduction to felix felicis, you stood next to minghao. your fingers anxiously played with the hem of your book, avoiding eye contact.

minghao sighed, regretting his friends were older than him (which meant they had different classes right now). well, he’ll just complain about it later. suddenly he caught minnie and shuhua, his slytherin peers, looking at him playfully.

there goes discretion.

“cat got your tongue?” he asked out of the blue, causing you to look up. you shook your head, trying to figure out what to say. hi i’m y/n? how are you? the weather is nice today?

“no” you said softly after a short while “i’m just listening”

“oh? you always seem extra chatty during potions when you’re with those half bloods though” minghao smirked, looking at your friends. you did the same.

seungkwan made a gesture of cutting his throat, which made you scoff.

“but i’m assuming that’s good you’re listening for once. because don’t you dare mess up the position” the dark haired boy’s voice made you turn around slowly, eyes widening “what? felix felicis usually takes up to five months to brew and i wanna get it done as soon as possible”

“oh” you mumbled. minghao fell quiet too, noticing the crease between your brows. suddenly you nodded, sending him a soft smile “i see. i’ll try my best”

you started taking notes of what snape was saying. minghao though, was surprised.

you were so… gentle. no snarky comments that’s he’s a mean, bad slytherin.

that was refreshing, to say at least.

after the class came to an end, you closed your books and said a quiet goodbye to minghao, rushing to mingyu and your other friends.

“how did you even survive?” seungkwan laughed, side eyeing the slytherin boy that was passing you by.

“hey! it wasn’t bad! he’s nice!” you frowned, following your friends’ tracks and going to find the others.

minghao smiled softly upon hearing your words and went to find his mates before the gossip reaches them.

all the potion classes so far were… peaceful. you worked mostly in silence. but not in awkward silence. his presence was comforting to be around and your gut told you that he’s feeling the same way too. minghao never really give you snarky, mean comments. well, maybe towards your friends or directly at them when they were staring. but never you.

somehow, you weren’t late for the today’s classes. in fact, you were even a little earlier. with no sight of your friends anywhere near, you leaned against the wall and grabbed the book you were currently reading.

lost in your world, you didn’t notice that minghao arrived. he was looking at you with curiosity and even wanted to approach you, when jun showed up.

“oh, i’ve been looking for you!” jun called suddenly, causing you to jerk in surprise. you noticed the two slytherins, wondering when they arrived here.

as you slid down the wall and sat on the floor to continue reading, the boys started talking.

“what do you want?” minghao asked calmly, his eyes still glued to you, a soft smile forming on his face when he recognised the book you were reading. jun turned around, smiling playfully and swinging on his feet.

“are you coming to the three broomsticks this weekend? you didn’t answer jeonghan when he asked you” jun hummed. minghao nodded, shifting his gaze to his friend “good. because we have a lot of things to talk about”

“what do you mean?” minghao grunted and jun just wriggled his brows. the younger punched him, causing jun to squeal.

“okay, okay! you need to start meditating again” jun chuckled and managed to duck another punch that was coming his way “okay! i’m going! have fun!”

minghao just rolled his eyes and once jun was gone, the doors to the classroom opened.

“since you’re here already you can come in” snape announced and disappeared again in the dark classroom.

minghao walked up to you and reached his hand out.

you looked up, closing your book. as a confused frown painted on your face, dokyeom, seungkwan, mingyu and vernon appeared in the hallway.

“don’t make me wait” minghao mumbled coldly. you sent him a warm smile and grabbed his hand. he pulled you gently, helping you stand up.

“YAH!”

you didn’t turn around, you whose voice was that (dokyeom’s). minghao though, tilted his head slightly and send a small smirk to your friends.

“thank you” a hum left your lips and the slytherin nodded, going into the classroom.

mingyu ran up to you, grabbing your face.

“are you okay?!” he yelled out dramatically, causing you to giggle.

the progress on your potion so far was amazing. it had the right consistency although there was still a lot of work ahead. not to mention your bonds. you didn’t even notice when you started getting along and becoming closer, chatting more and more during the lesson. you discovered that you two have a lot in common and in fact, minghao isn’t that bad as your friends think. he’s pretty cool once you got to know him and above all, you enjoyed his company.

while he was chopping something, you turned around to grab one of the ingredients but in process your wand fell on the floor.

you leaned down to grab it, cursing underneath your breath at your clumsiness. minghao put his hand on the corner of the desk, scanning carefully if you’re not gonna bump into it.

luckily you didn’t – and even if you did, you would bump onto his hand and not the sharp corner. you straightened your back and met vernon’s shocked (frightened, even) gaze. as you turned around you saw minghao taking away his hand and coming back to work. his face was the same, not showing any emotions and simply unbothered.

as blush crept up on your cheeks, you came back to work. suddenly you heard some whispers.

carefully looking around you noticed minnie talking to shuhua, glancing at you.

“did you see that?”

your stomach dropped, your hands starting to sweat. what did they mean by that? but you didn’t do anything… right?

“why did he do that?”

you didn’t even hear when minghao asked you something. you stared at the desk, mind racing with thoughts.

sudden touch on your shoulder made you flinch, your eyes flicking over to worried minghao.

“are you okay?” he asked quietly. letting out a shaky breath, you didn’t realise you were holding, you nodded “you’re a terrible liar”

“isn’t that a good thing though?” you asked with a smile, trying to calm down. minghao scoffed and you took a glance at minnie.

“hufflepuffs…” he mumbled and saw you’re looking away. when he met his friend’s gaze, she stopped gossiping and started working again. minnie’s eyes were locked on minghao’s hand on your shoulder. he took it off, realisation hitting him “i’ll talk to her”

“what? no! what do you mean?” you panicked, tugging his sleeve. this caused his eyes to widen. well, not only his but also your friends’. you cleared your throat and took your hand away “i mean… it’s nothing”

“sure” he grunted angrily, returning to his previous task “don’t mess up the potion”

you but your lip worriedly, nodding slowly. great, you made him angry.

when the lesson ended, you grabbed your stuff and left the classroom. he probably thinks you’re weird now. and what was gonna minnie think about you? it’s not like you wanted to get her in trouble. it’s just…

“yah, y/n!” minghao’s voice made you turn around. you stopped in the middle of the crowd, someone bumping over your shoulder.

seungcheol happened to talk with your ravenclaw friends - joshua, jihoon and wonwoo. they were probably waiting for you to finish your classes since after them you were supposed to go to the three broomsticks. however once seungcheol noticed minghao is bothering you, he was ready to intervene.

you blinked at the slytherin boy as he approached you.

“did i say something?” he asked quietly, aware of your friends watching.

“no! it’s just…” you trailed off, trying to find a way to word your worries without sounding like a weirdo. he’s friends with minnie after all. minghao was waiting patiently “you don’t have to talk to minnie. she was just chatting and i… i guess i was just overthinking. i didn’t want to make you mad or something….”

he scoffed.

you know that it was an amused scoff. seungcheol however, thought it was making fun of you kind of scoff.

“hey, minghao! don’t you have better things to do?” your older friend called, walking over to you. jihoon rolled his eyes.

“none of your business. i’m not talking to you, you filthy–“ minghao stopped in his tracks, looking at you.

“don’t call him like that” you mumbled, sending him a grumpy look “and you, cheol, can you give us a moment?”

“no, it’s fine. i won’t say a thing to minnie, if that’s what you want” minghao grunted, sending seungcheol an angry look. then, shifting his gaze towards you his features softened ever so slightly “and i wasn’t mad at you. i was mad at minnie. but anyways… see you soon”

he walked away, disappearing in the crowd of students.

“what the fuck was that?” seungcheol growled. he wasn’t too happy to find out that you’re working with minghao and now that you seem to be… talking to him? he has a bad feeling. well, not only him.

“it was a normal conversation” you sighed and saw vernon, mingyu, seungkwan and dokyeom coming your way.

“oh my god! did you see that?!” seungkwan yelled out, catching the older’s attention.

“what? don’t even tell me it was something bad, i wanna beat him up already” soonyoung crossed his arms. suddenly chan joined you, making the group complete.

“he–“ mingyu started and you just walked up to the ravenclaws, joshua linking his arm with you.

“they’re overreacting, aren’t they?” wonwoo giggled upon seeing your annoyed look.

“they so are! he’s not bad! they just… didn’t get to know him. i don’t get the slytherin hate” you grunted “not all of them are bad, right?”

“right. it’s just that… you have to be careful. they’re overreacting, i agree, but we don’t want you to get sad” jihoon hummed

“why would i get sad?” you furrowed your brows. the three of them exchanged suspicious looks. joshua shrugged with a playful smile.

“in case cheol beats him up or something” wonwoo sighed dramatically. upon hearing his name, seungcheol skipped over to you.

“pfff… he’s so not going to beat him up. minghao knows material arts! isn’t that so cool?” your eyes lit up and you let out a squeak when seungcheol playfully punched your arm

“i would defeat him in two seconds!” he grinned goofily, causing you all to burst out laughing.

three months passed and you’d consider minghao your friend. at this point, you see each other every day. not only you have potions together but also transfiguration, defence against the dark arts and much more. you were always so focused on sticking to your friends that you never really realised he’s there. one day minghao even sat with you during history of magic since mingyu and vernon sat together – of course later on soonyoung gave you a lecture about running away if it happens again in the future. you didn’t. – and it stayed like that. even during other classes.

that’s how you ended up getting your first detention. you were trying to keep quiet but he was just telling you a story when jun fell asleep with his eyes open in the school corridor and scared the living shit out of filch.

“mrs l/n, mr xu! you can always go on a date after classes. mind telling us what’s so funny? or maybe you’re just so ahead with the book that you don’t have to listen during my lessons?” flitwick asked, causing you to freeze. you looked at the man, nodding politely as your cheeks turned red. minghao, however, wasn’t impressed.

“well, actually–“ he started, causing you to kick his ankle under the desk “ow!”

“actually what, mr xu?” flitwick rose his eyebrows. you felt the whole class gaze on you two, causing you to redden even more. you hate being in the centre of attention and minghao was certainly having the fun of his life.

“actually i’d love to present the spell we were just talking about. y/n explained it to me lately” minghao shrugged and your eyes widened.

“what are you–“ you started, unable to finish because–

“aqua eructo!” minghao waved his wand happily and you let out a yelp upon water landing all over your head “oh shit–!”

his smile faded away upon seeing you drenched in water… and the rest of the class being soaked.

so that’s how you ended up cleaning it without wands (“because it would be too easy, right?”)

“what were you thinking?” you laughed, wiping the floor while being on your knees.

“i just felt like showing off…” he giggled, looking over at you

“but?” you smiled, wiping the sweat off your forehead with your forearm.

“but… someone made me nervous” he smirked. you rose your eyebrows, looking at him.

“who? flitwick?” your question caused him to scoff, a toothy grin springing on his face.

“yeah, flitwick”

once you were finished it was past 10pm so if you were caught, you definitely would be in trouble.

“i’ll walk you to the dorms” minghao offered.

“but…” you started, not wanting him to lose his sleep time, that he already wasted on the cleaning.. he linked his arms with you with a shy smile.

“no buts. because of me you were stuck and had to help me with the mess. it’s the least i can do. and also… thank you” he explained and you looked at him, melting completely.

“no problem” you grinned and turned around, causing him to almost fall over “but you’re going the wrong way”

you were chatting quietly, almost arriving at your dorms, when suddenly minghao pulled you closer to hide behind a column.

“what–?!” you gasped, taken aback by his action. he just put his free hand over your mouth, head leaning back.

observing his handsome profile made you realise how close you were, his body pressing onto yours. if he turned his head, there would be very little space between your faces–

and he did just that. your heart skipped a bear when minghao looked at you, lips slightly parted. his chest was moving up and down irregularly, trying to keep his breathing as quiet as he could.

he slowly took off his hand from your mouth, sending you an apologetic smile. you looked at his lips quickly – and whether he noticed or not, minghao pulled back.

“filch” he gulped, nodding his head “but it’s safe now”

you nodded as well, realising you were holding onto his hand. you let it go, coughing awkwardly.

“you can go now, it’s close from here” you mumbled, looking up at him. he seemed a bit distracted, which was… weird.

“huh? oh. i’ll go, yeah. wait, do you… are you busy tomorrow?” he asked quietly. you blinked slowly. tomorrow? saturday.

“no. i mean no, i’m not busy” you whispered, trying to remember how to breathe. what was he–

“do you wanna, uh… hang out? in hogsmeade? we can meet after dinner and…” he stopped, clearing his throat. he looked at you nervously, trying to come up with an excuse if you haven’t agreed but–

“i’d love to” you sent him a warm smile. minghao’s eyes lit up, and so did his face.

“see you tomorrow then! and have a good night, y/n!” he grinned and waved happily. you waved back, wishing him a good night as well. you only left after he was gone, the echo of his footsteps turning into peaceful silence.

when you arrived to the dorm, you leaned against the wall. pressing your hand to your chest you realised how ridiculously fast was it beating. is it because of him? it has to be. fuck, did you fell in love or something? no, it’s just the fact that he wanted to hang out with you. alone. on saturday.

mingyu, vernon and cheol were waiting for you, heads turned your way the second they heard someone coming inside the common room. they looked at each other, surprised at your actions.

“i was so stressed! i thought he kidnapped you!” cheol yelled out, causing you to flinch. oh. they’re here. vernon grinned goofily upon your expression “so?! what happened?!”

“it’s just… nothing. nothing happened” you hummed, unable to stop smiling. mingyu let out a sudden gasp “nothing!”

“yeah, sure! why are you smiling like that?!” seungcheol whined.

“i had a fun time, that’s it” you mumbled and shook your head “i’m tired, bye!”

they watched you run to your dorm. vernon winked at mingyu and seungcheol frowned.

“a fun time? with minghao? something’s wrong” he sighed “i don’t like it… and him”

miyeon was looking at you amused as you were panicking, running around the dorm and digging through your clothes

“i shouldn’t be nervous. it’s not a date” you breathed out and grabbed your black and yellow striped sweater.

“it’s a date. also don’t take the sweater, it’s warm” miyeon giggled, standing up from the bed. you put it away, taking a deep sigh.

“you think it’s a date? he just asked if i’m busy today…” you trailed off, looking at her unsurely. thank merlin you had friends like her, with the boys you wouldn’t be able to even have a chat like that. and maybe that’s why you didn’t realise it was a date… or so miyeon said.

“it’s definitely a date. besides…” she trailed off. miyeon fixed your hair that were falling on your face “you look so pretty. now go. and remember, don’t stress”

“i’m not” you sent her a playful look and she just laughed

“if i seungcheol or soonyoung ask about you… uh, i’ll figure something out so don’t worry about that” she giggled mischievously and patted your back “now go, for god’s sake! and please don’t eat too fast during dinner, you’ll choke!”

“okay!” you saluted and stormed out of the girls dorm, causing the three of your hufflepuff friends chilling in the common room to turn their heads.

“minnie was so right, they’ll look so cute together” she whispered once you were gone, rushing to find her friends and tell them about the news.

you tried to follow miyeon’s advice, you really did but upon seeing minghao wearing his casual clothes and waiting for you… you couldn’t help but speedily wolf down your food.

before approaching him you looked around if there are some familiar faces. fortunately, there weren’t. which was suspicious to be honest but at the moment it wasn’t your biggest worrry.

you left the great hall and noticed him leaning against the wall, his features pensive. however, his eyes lit up upon seeing you and you couldn’t help but mirror the wide smile he gave you.

“hi” you hummed, standing in front of him. minghao scanned your face, a mysterious glint in his eyes

“hi y/n. did you sleep well?” he asked, tilting his head. such a simple question and yet, your heart is going crazy. and you didn’t sleep well… you had troubles falling asleep due to excitement rushing through every vein and vessel in your body but obviously you’re not going to tell him that–

“i did, thank you for asking. and you? hopefully you didn’t run into flich on your way back?” you gasped. minghao shook his head and gestured you to start walking.

while you were chatting during the walk to hogsmeade, your hands brushed a couple of times. you tried your best to ignore it but you had a bad feeling that he was well aware of it as well.

“it’s so… oddly empty today, isn’t it?” you blurted out, the path looking nothing like usually on weekends: swarmed with crowds of excited students. and right now… nothing. just you, him and birds chirping in the trees.

“there’s a quidditch match today so i figured i’d be the perfect opportunity to… you know, hang out” he said a bit shyly

“oh yeah. i didn’t even think about this. that’s good, i’m afraid seungcheol would kill me. and you. if he saw us” a heavy sigh left your mouth and he just chuckled.

“i’ve been wondering… how did you even become friends?” minghao asked. his hand once again accidentally brushed yours, sending sparks down your spine.

“well… at first it was only mingyu and vernon. i just sticked to them after the sorting hat announced we’re hufflepuffs. vernon became friends with seungkwan and dokyeom, who were friends with soonyoung since he accidentally got them in trouble at their first day. mingyu befriended wonwoo and seungcheol. and seungcheol is older, so he was already friends with joshua and jihoon. it just… they kind of adopted me” you laughed, a bright smile painted on his lips too “and i don’t mind. i really have problems with socialising so well, yeah, it was awkward at first but i’m really glad i’m friends with them. sometimes they make you extroverted even if you’re the most socially awkward person ever. which i am. and because of that chan is our friend too! i adopted him”

minghao grinned, looking at your proud face. he recalled how many times you were hanging out with the younger gryffindor boy which now made extra sense.

“same with the girls, kind of. my roommate is miyeon! and miyeon is friends with soyeon and yuqi. i mean we’re not that close as i am with the boys but still, i love hanging out with them” you explained, crossing your arms. speaking of which, did miyeon even check the weather? it wasn’t that warm…

“you do know that they’re friends with minnie and shuhua, right?” minghao asked slowly, scanning your face.

“yeah, of course! that’s kind of why�� back then i didn’t want you to talk to minnie. it bothered me because i was overthinking, you know… what would she think of me? she’d tell soyeon and then they would stop hanging out with me” you grumbled and minghao let a soft laugh.

“oh, y/n. they wouldn’t do that, i promise. you’re too precious” he hummed and noticed how you’re rubbing your bare arms “are you cold?”

“just a bit, but…” your voice trailed off when minghao stopped in his tracks and took off his grey hoodie. he stood behind you and helped you put it on. after that, he came back in front of you and zipped it gently.

“here you go” he hummed and you swore his ears were tinted red.

“thank you” you mumbled, not really sure what’s the source of your warmth: his hoodie or your glowing red cheeks.

in a matter of time you arrived to three broomsticks, the local not so fully crowded. minghao ordered two butter beers for you and went to find a seat while you excused yourself to the bathroom.

upon seeing your reflection you had to take a few deep breaths. his hoodie was too big on you but you liked it. besides, it actually went along with your outfit. not to mention that it smelled like him. you shook your head, trying to pull yourself together. it’s just a hoodie that he gave you because you were cold. stop being weird–

you left the bathroom and noticed minghao sitting at a table with… jeonghan and jun. he was faced back to you, so naturally he didn’t see you and his friends didn’t seem to notice you either.

you walked up, not wanting to eavesdrop but…

“what are you doing here? two beers? is that a date?!” jun sing-sung and suddenly let out a gasp, realisation settling in “with the hufflepuff girl–?!”

“what? no! shut up!” minghao grunted. jeonghan frowned, tilting his head

“that one girl that’s always attached to those bloody gryffindors? and seungcheol?” he asked and minghao started panicking.

“well yeah but– it’s not a date. it’s nothing serious. we just came here to discuss the potion, that’s it. once we’re done with it i’m done with her too” minghao explained, his breath shaking “she pisses me off, really…”

your heart dropped, hands starting to shake. so cheol was right from the begging…

“what do you mean?! you’re basically glued to each other and like, it’s nothing bad” jun frowned. your vision started getting blurry because of the tears forming in your eyes. you should go before they notice you.

“jun, end of topic. i don’t even like her that much, get it?” minghao snapped and you let out a deep breath “she’s so annoying! it’s like a torture being around her–“

“uh, minghao…” jeonghan sighed, his gaze shifting. he turned around and saw you leaving.

minghao’s heart dropped. fuck, fuck, fuck. it wasn’t supposed to be like that! why did he even…

he stood up, running after you. jun looked at his older friend and grabbed the two butter beers that minghao left behind.

“he doesn’t like her, huh? does he think we’re blind or what?” jun scoffed and they laughed, taking a sip of the beverage.

“well he may like here but she sure won’t like him now” jeonghan rolled his eyes at the younger’s stupidity.

you were wiping your cheeks, heart thumping against your rib cage. your mind was racing with thoughts but the most repetitive one was that your friends were right.

“y/n!”

he was coming after you. why bother now? you didn’t stop, harsh sobs leaving your mouth.

suddenly you bumped into something or rather, someone.

“hey! hey, y/n? oh baby!” soyeon’s voice was filled with worry and you just hugged onto her “what happened?”

you just shook your head. soyeon hugged you tightly and noticed minghao coming your way.

“i see. this asshole” she grunted and turned around, leading you towards the castle.

minghao stopped upon seeing that. right. it was probably for the best to give you some time now…? or at least talk to you alone.

well, luck wasn’t by his side.

“–the hit? i swear, you’re like a tiger when you enter the field!” chan grinned and soonyoung laughed loudly.

“isn’t that y/n?” wonwoo asked suddenly, pointing at you

they all turned around, eyes widening upon noticing your shaking body. soyeon and yuqi were walking with you, the gryffindor girl wiping your tears.

chan wanted to walk up to you but yuqi noticed him and gave him a warning look.

“not now” jihoon mumbled, pulling him back.

“what happened?” dokyeom whispered. they all watched how the girls walked you back to the dorms.

“as if i know” seungkwan rolled his eyes. joshua gasped suddenly and rushed the other way.

“what’s up with him?” seungcheol shook his head. you’ll definitely have to talk to them later.

miyeon patted your hair as you bawled your eyes out, tightly hugging your pillow.

“why do i care so much?” you breathed out, looking at her confused.

“oh, y/nnie…” she sighed, concern on her face. then it hit you.

because you like him. way more than a friend.

minghao haven’t seen you the whole weekend. he only got a lecture from minnie and shuhua about hurting your feelings, not being able to treat girls properly and all of that. as if he didn’t know he messed up. they told him you were crying the whole time and even if he didn’t believe them, the sight of you on a monday morning a proof. and it was heart breaking. especially that he knew he was the source of it.

during your lessons you sat with vernon. your friends probably didn’t know what happened yet since they seemed confused and seungcheol or soonyoung haven’t spoken to him yet. besides joshua, he kept side eyeing the slytherins every time they passed you by, especially jeonghan.

and for the first time ever minghao was looking forward to potions. you’ll have to talk to him, right? you can sit with someone else during charms but during potions you’re his partner.

however, you were absent.

“where’s miss l/n?” snape asked, clicking his tongue.

“she isn’t feeling very well, she went to madam pomfrey” mingyu explained, his voice lacking the usual enthusiasm. he looked over at minghao, and if only looks could kill...

“i see. next week i’m going to grade your potions so someone tell her that she’ll better be here” he said and have minghao a questioning look.

“what if he poisoned her? you know, so he can gain all the credits?!” seungkwan gasped a little too loudly, causing to draw attention to him.

“you’re being too dramatic, mr boo. and if mr xu did happen to do that, i’ll make sure he gets the proper punishment” snape hissed and the lesson begun.

minghao felt strange without your presence.

seungcheol grabbed your arm when you were leaving the great hall after supper. the bags under your eyes made his heart clench.

“hey, y/n. are you okay? because clearly…” he started. suddenly jihoon joined you, crossing his arms. you let out a sigh, trying to look away but you met minghao’s gaze. well to be fair, you were standing in the middle of the room.

“i’m fine. just a little sick, that’s all” you grunted “can you let me go? i’m tired”

“we need to talk” seungcheol said, voice stern. soonyoung noticed you all and stood up from your seat to join you.

“i’m tired” you repeated coldly. seungcheol turned around and saw minghao looking your way

“then i’ll just talk to him” he grunted and let you go. jihoon grabbed his arm, preventing him from going further and pointed at you.

tears gathered at your water line as you let out a deep sigh.

“y/n, chan asked you to meet with him at the gryffindor quidditch team locker room” joshua’s voice appeared from nowhere, drawing everyone’s attention. soonyoung, who joined you, frowned.

“mkay” you mumbled quietly and wiped your tears with shaky hands “i’ll talk to you later, i promise”

when you walked away, soonyoung punched seungcheol

“what did you do! you made her cry!” he grunted.

“no i didn’t!” the older yelled. while the gryffindors argued, jihoon came back to his seat. because of that none of them noticed jeonghan and minghao passing them by and the older one winking at joshua.

you sat down at the bench, waiting for chan. looking down on the floor, you were busy with swinging your feet. suddenly you heard the door open and you let out a sigh.

“finally you’re here” a hum left your mouth, the sound of door closing disturbing the quietness of the room “i’m not in the best mood to talk so sorry if…”

you looked up and words died in your throat upon seeing minghao. he was just as confused as you.

the room felt silent again (for different reasons though), tension thickening.

“y/n i need to-“ he started but you stood up, passing him by and pushing the door. well, wanting to. they didn’t bulge a bit.

“y/nnie i locked the door! have fun~!” joshua’s happy voice from the other side made you gasp

“you traitor!” you grunted, looking around slowly at minghao.

“wait, jeonghan?” he called out, frowning.

“yeah. just talk it through already, i don’t want to wait here for the whole day” jeonghan said

“why would you…?” you murmured and started looking for your wand. oh.

“let’s go further away though, let them have some privacy” joshua’s voice sounded worried and there were steps echoing on the other side.

“i wanna listen though–!” jeonghan whined.

after a moment there was silence again. minghao was looking at you, his eyes filled with guilt.

“y/n, listen to me please” he spoke softly, playing with his fingers.

“why would i? aren’t i a torture to be around with? why you even bother?” you grunted and returned to the bench, looking away from him.

it hurt. you avoided him because whenever you looked at him, your heart shattered into pieces again and again.

“i’m sorry”

you gulped, trying to look unbothered.

the sound of his steps approaching and him sitting on the bench didn’t help your case.

“i’m so fucking sorry. it’s… i shouldn’t have said that. never. i know it was horrible and i’m in no place to make excuses but listen to me, please” he said, his voice filled with genuine pain. you turned around, yet you didn’t face him. gaze stuck on the floor, as if the dust there was the most interesting thing ever, you started drumming your fingers anxiously against the bench’s surface.

“i was scared. i was scared that my friends will judge me; i was scared that they’ll tell my parents; i was scared of others, what will they think: a slytherin with a hufflepuff? i was scared… because i panicked. i panicked… because i like you. but i was afraid that if somehow someone would find out, you’d be in danger and–“ minghao sucked a breath and you noticed how close his hand was next to you, your pinkies brushing against each other “i didn’t mean any of those words that i said. well…”

minghao scanned your face. he was frightened. you were sitting silently, not answering him. will you ever forgive him.

“well?” you choked out, chest heavy.

“being around you is like a torture because i’m madly in love with you. it hurts me physically to look at you crying, to look at your pretty face and knowing i can’t kiss it. to see how wildly you’re grinning at those stupid loud ass gryffindors’ jokes–“ he halted, eyes widening. fuck, he overshared. he overshared and you’ll hate him even more than you did–

you grabbed his hand, giving it a small squeeze. minghao’s face heated up upon the gesture, his heart skipping a beat. what does this mean? are you comforting him or…?

you’re crying.

“y/n, no no no no… don’t cry, please” he panicked, leaving to kneel in front of you. with your free hand you covered your face, the rest of your body shaking.

“you’re making me cry so much, i hate you” you let out a breathy laugh, wiping your eyes even though the tears wouldn’t stop.

“what?” he whispered, his thumb reassuringly stroking your hand.

“you like me?” you chuckled, finally looking at him. his brown irises were focused on you, features softening.

“did you just full on ignore the apology part?” he scoffed, brining a smile on both of your faces

“i… i’m not going to lie, i was hurt. i felt like i was betrayed: a someone who i treated as a friend said he hated me… but… you were scared? oh, hao… i’d be an idiot to forgive you but well, aren’t i already?” you whispered. minghao tried to ignore the swarm of butterflies that appeared in his stomach due to the nickname, his head plopping down and resting against your knee.

“i’m so sorry. i’ll never forgive myself for hurting you like that. i know i broke your trust and heart probably. but please… please give me another chance” he breathed out.

you tapped his arm lightly. the slytherin boy rose his head up, eyes shining with anticipation.

“see, there’s one thing you need to know: i like you. and that horrible event made me realise that. so i’d say give me a kiss and i’ll give you a chance–“ you broke into laughter when he eagerly stood up. when he leaned closer, you put your hand on his lips, giggling even more upon his confused expression “–but for merlin’s sake i do not want our first kiss to take place in this stinky locker room”

eyes widening, minghao leaned away. with a soft oh he scrunched up his nose.

“okay, i think i know where we can go. but… jeonghan and joshua…?” he rose his eyebrows.

“easy there, lover boy” you stood up, letting go of his hand. minghao’s heart was racing, the realisation hitting him: you like him. you forgave him. and you’re willing to kiss him? if not the fact that your felix felicis wasn’t finished, he would have thought that someone poured it into his tea.

“hey bro, not to interrupt your meditation or whatever but y/n is gone” jeonghan’s voice made him snap back to reality, dropping the smile that subconsciously formed on his lips

“where’d she go?” minghao asked, looking at his older friend. jeonghan was smiling suspiciously, a mischievous smirk on his face.

minghao rushed after you, apparently walking back to your dorm.

“y/n!” he called upon seeing you in the hallway. he run up to you, ignoring the weird looks from strangers and gasps from your girl friends (including minnie’s “i told you!” and yuqi’s “wait, they made up?”)

you turned around, a goofy smile on your face.

“yeah?” your voice was filled with playfulness, alas your eyes were glinting with excitement.

“can i please kiss you? i feel like i might explode if i don’t” minghao breathed out, chest rising up and down irregularly.

“you’re not afraid of what will others think?” you teased, tilting your head slightly.

“i’ll be honest, the moment you called me a lover boy i feel like i was reborn” he grunted, his usual grumpy expression forming on his face once realising how cheesy he sounds “can i–?”

“yeah” you laughed and in no time his big, soft palms were cupping your cheeks tenderly. the air was knocked out of your lungs as soon as his pillowy lips landed against yours.

normally, your mind would be racing with what ifs: what if the others think you’re weird? what if your friends see you? what if the teachers catch you? but now… minghao soothed away your anxiety and nervousness, his embrace and the feeling of him and only him making you forget about the world.

loud cheers and applause (coming from your girl friends) in the hallway made you smile into the kiss, and he reacted the same way. without pulling away yet you put your hands on his neck, trying to bring him even closer.

minghao pulled away but didn’t lean back too far. you could see the sparks in his eyes, soft smile on his lips. and you couldn’t stare at him like that for the whole day of not the yells in the background becoming louder and louder.

“can we run away somewhere? i can hear seungcheol approaching and i do not want to be beaten up by him… and also we could have one or two more kisses…?” he mumbled looking through his shoulder to see, in fact, your older friend. soyeon, shuhua and jihoon were trying to stop him while yuqi, minnie were arguing about something with soonyoung and seungkwan (“leave them alone it’s not like he’s hurting her?!” “but the sight is hurting my eyes-!”). miyeon and wonwoo were shaking their heads, chan and vernon signalled you to run.

so you did, giggling. minghao’s hand was squeezing yours, fingers intertwined.

you stormed into the classroom, textbooks almost falling out of your arms. you quickly scanned the room to see if snape was there… and of course he was there.

“um, good morning! i’m sorry for being late” you blurted out, walking over to your desk.

“what was it this time, miss l/n?” snape grunted, his eyes piercing your soul.

“sorry for being late– ” minghao bursted into the classroom, his tie loosened and collar all over the place, revealing his neck tinted in…

“ew” mingyu grunted. as the slytherin boy walked over to you, you fixed his collar with pink cheeks. you told him to do it but obviously he’s just an attention seeker… and he has a thing for showing off you’re a couple now.

snape was speechless. he turned around, sighing.

“prepare your potions. i’ll be checking them in a minute” he announced and you looked over at minghao, his eyes sparkling with boyish playfulness.

“idiot” you scoffed and nudged his arm.

you never used felix felicis, you just didn’t see any sense of even using a potion like that. despite that, you did feel lucky that you meet minghao while working on it. maybe it was just a side effect of felix felicis? or maybe just destiny?

[ masterlist <3 ]

taglist.  @geniejunn ,, @luvhyun3 ,, @starlostseungmin ,, @elviransworld ,, @jnks6r ,, @sieunsgf ,, @ethereallino ,, @laylasbunbunny ,, @duolingofanaccount ,, @slytherinshua ,, @stxrseungs ,, @ka-ni-ma ,, @iliveforlixie ,, @ameliesaysshoo ,, @dazzlingligth ,, @mark-geolli ,, @l3visbby ,, @w3bqrl ,, @ddeonudepressions ,, @yourfavoritefreakyhan ,, @cinnamoroxie ,, @kazmura

[astroyongie]

Seventeen: They Text You One Month After Your Death

Note: heavy angst and mentions of S* Scoups

"Wake up y/n and stay with me"  "I swear to god that right now, I need you here"  "I need you to stay strong baby.. Can you yell those words at me again please?"  "Ever since you left i try to remind me where I came from and where I belong, but without you i feel so lost in this earth"  "So wake up y/n.. and stay with me"

Wonwoo

"Its been a month already y/n.. do you remember, summer after high school, when we first met?"  "We maded out in my car and on my 18th birthday, we got those stupid matching tattoos. I still cry when i look at mine"  "do you remember when we used to steal your parents' liquor and go to your room? we spoke about our future like we had a clue you would leave me"  "fuck i never planned that one day I would be losing you. Why did you got to leave?"  "In another life y/n, I would be your husband and we both could keep all our promises of being happy together"

Mingyu

"I've been holding my breath each time i think of you"  “Wonwoo told me he put lillies on your tomb today. Sorry. didn't come, I've been holding back tears ever since that day"  "I miss you so much y/n"  "I've done a lot of things wrong, but i swear loving you was never one"

Vernon

"y/n"  "I can't imagine a world with you gone and yet here we are. Fuck i am still in denial"  "I have always said i would be so lost if you left me alone in this fucked up world"  "I can't stop crying"  "the images of you locked in the bathroom, lying on the floor when I broke through"  "and i pulled you y/n, did you felt me? did you heard me y/n? I pull you in to feel your heartbeat and i couldnt hear a damn thing"  "did you hear me screaming?"  "Please don't leave me"

Hoshi

"It's not true. Even today i can't accept that its true"  "y/n, please tell me I've been lied to, that you are still here, that you are still alive and well somewhere"  "Crying isn't like me, but i didn't stop ever since you left"  "What the hell did I do?"  "I love you but I don't want to"  "this hurts so much"

The8

"Hey y/n how have you been? Have you been sleeping well? have you been eating well?"  "I hope you are wearing that hoodie i gave you. I am wearing the one you gave me. as a matter of fact i dont have the heart to remove it"  "I hope you bribed the door on your way to the sky. I know god wouldnt mind it"  "y/n wait for me yeah? I miss you. Dont cry for me. The end is near”

Jun

"Hey y/n"  "sorry i am only talking to you now.. ah, i may have fucked up ahah"  "I am currently laying in the silence, waiting for the sirens of the ambulance"  "yeah.. i fucked up.. but i missed you so much"  "I'm alive still.."  "I don't wanna lose it but i cant bare being apart from you"  "but I'm not getting through this.. y/n what should i do?"  "should I pray? to whom? to myself? to a God?"  "y/n.. help me"

Dino

"miss your touch every nights y/n.. lately i have been feeling a little hollow. And you how have you been feeling?"  "I know you crossed the bridge that I can't follow, but hey brat, you could have said goodbye"  "but now we cant change the past.. the love that you left is all that I get"  "I want you to know that, if I can't be close to you, I'll try settle for the ghost of you"  "I miss you more than life"

Woozi

"I am sorry i keep texting you. i just hate you so much right now.” ”never saw it coming, I couldn't read the signs that you werent okay and fuck this.. i hate myself"  "Now I know that it means nothing"  "you are always on my mind y/n"  "the others are trying to tricked into believing that everything will work out in the end"  "fuck them. You were the only one for me"

Joshua

"Hey baby how are you? I am not doing good ahah.."  "All I want is nothing more but too hear you knocking at our appartment door"  "if I could see your face once more y/n, I could die a happy man"  "When you said your last goodbye that night, when that fucking disease took you, i swear to all angels I died a little bit inside"  "y/n, i miss you so much and all i do is lay in tears in bed"  "I never felt so alone"  "But if you loved me, why you leaved me?"

Jeonghan

"Yo brat.." “Woozi and Joshua made me text you.. tsk they are idiots.."  "but hey brat.. you were the light to my shadow, did you know?"  "fuck god to take my star. another star they say, fuck them. you are fading away in my memory"  "Where are you now brat? Are you okay?"  "Please... y/n."

DK

"y/n I think I lost myself again"  "But I remember you told me to stay strong and Seungkwan has been nagging me to eat more"  "But I wish you would be the one telling me that"  "y/n tell me why our love is six feet under ground? Are you cold down there?"  "I will go to your grave tomorrow.. Wonwoo told me to watered the Dahlias"  "Would they bloom?"  "It's all too much for me"  "How could you die carelessly? Whos gonna take care of my heart now?"

Seungkwan

"Hey baby"  "i decided to text you bc sunday mornings were your favorite and we used to meet with the gang"  "your last sunday you did your hair up, you looked so pretty"  "y/n, I have been screamin at a God for the past weeks"  "I'm still holding on to everything, I don't wanna say goodbye bc this one means forever"  "I don't want to say goodbye so please.. come back to me"

[organizedchaotics]

sun through smog

Probably oneshot thing about a time decades ago in the drain Working through personal stuff with the help of fictional characters is a valid method of therapy. this being said: war mention TW suicide mention TW

There was a war once. There were no winners. But there were a lot of burnt down buildings. Everywhere. Homes and lives lost.

Our parents rebuilt these homes. Tried to return to normality. Remembering those who had gone. And rebuilding a future for their children. Or so they said.

Nowadays i knows this is all horsehockey. A bunch of baloney. We played hide and seek in run down buildings. We played with trash because it was affordable. Our parents remembered who had gone. But they couldn't remember their own kids. Couldnt even remember to feed us.

Many of us never went to school because we felt like there was no point. Many of us never went to school because we couldnt afford it. I dropped out in middle school. So i could help collect bottles with dad. Many of us didnt make it this far. Their parents dont remember them. But we did. I remember when Joshua died. Had been a schock even to us. They never repaired the crack on the sidewalk where he made impact. I often had asked myself if i coulda seen it coming. If i coulda helped em. Most likely not. I cant exorcise the demons in someones blood.

I remember avoiding that strip of road for a long time. Walking over that broken plate felt like utter disrespect. It also scared me A little, 'ight? Death is scary, 'ight? You would think stuff like "we all have it bad here. Why didnt i jump?" And the scary part would be that you had no good answer to why. I asked myself that when i stood there again two years later. Dont remember for how long. But i remembered joshuas smile and his happy attitude and i remembered that it all just went splat Like that.

Pat

"You remember him too. Right?" I hadnt known this guy. He didn't know me either. But we both must have known Joshua, and that was a mark of honor to me. "Yes. I miss his smile." "Me too. It … It made me hope there was future." I didnt know the guy. For all i knew he was a sad sod who faked empathy to steal a buck from me. If i had had one. For all i knew he could have been lieing.

And yet. That moment I turned around And hugged him Briefly bcus it was the middle of day and the middle of the street. But i did! "What if there IS a future?" "How could we know?" "Only when we keep breathing tomorrow, and find out , i guess." I said with surprising confidence. I dunno what rode me there. I never believed in a future. I was just too stubborn to leave, i guess. Or too stupid, i guess. "I don't know if I am brave enough for that" he said.

And then we stood there again in silence for a minute or so. "Gras is growing inside the cracks." he said. "Some of them dandelions." I replied. "The little ones will plug them and blow them. They don't know, Joshua. But I wished i could see them do it. Blow them away." he said. I dont know what drove me. I never thought to be the sappy type. But at that point i leaned over and asked: "Do you think you are brave enough, when yous are not alone?" I remember smiling at him. Or, well, trying to. I never had learned how to do it proper, i guess. And it probably looked wonky. But then he smiled back at me. And it was the most honest smile i had ever seen. Even brighter than Joshua. "I think i could" He took my hand. Held it. The gently shook it. I guess it was awkward for him as well. "My name is Hektor" he said. A smile bright as the sun. "And yours?" A smile so bright it threw the whole sun at your heart. And i remember how confused i was, cause the weather forecast had only been smog. Yet here was the wholeass sun in front of me when i said "Capochin"

[theuniverseawakens347]

WHY WUD I SUBMIT WHEN YOU SUCK A LEADING - U WANT ME DED … SO YOU GOT ME HOMELESS EATING SPOILED FOOD .. 🫤 but we saving the ppl W THE BARE MINIMUM OF GOOD RESOURCES - whos heart not really in this job - why - someone didn’t save me MY WAY when I needed help… - I surrender… LEE YOU KNOW WHAT I WANT AND CAN SUPPLY IT BUT PURPLOSELY HOLDING OUT ON ME - “ I don’t want cashay to take care of me in old age” - “ you can have what we have BUT YOU DONT DESERVE IT” - I ASKED YOU FOR HELP DEC 9th 2023 … you’ve been recorded. Ur an asshole on purpose bc race n talent … BUT YOU CHOSE NOT TO SHARPEN UR TOOLS - PEER CRITISM “ why would I listen to you when I can just steal it to show I’m better” … for me “ why would I listen to you when you failing yourself” - IM HAPPY UR MISERBALE… BUT IM ASKING FOR FOOD RIGHT NOW BC MY BODY IS CRAVING WHAT MY POCKETS CANT GET - Joshua got me fruit “ cashay what do you want to eat” - in n out “ naw I don’t eat that shit let’s go to Whole Foods” - WHY BOTHERING ME ASKING WHAT I WANT AND LETTING ME KNOW YOU GOT THE MONEY x you pull out ur ebt card… THEN LEAD W “ I GOT EBT WHAT DO YOU WANT TO EAT” … but lee you flaunt money like it’s nothing to me HOW MANY NEW CARS YOU BOTH GET UR SELF BUT I GET HAND ME DOWNS - “ she’s 16 irresponsible “ - me moving back from sf “ we’re low on money so we can’t spend much but do quick n for me and see I spent $9000 on a brand new massage chair” - “ Cashay I’m not paying $60 on ANOTHER PAID OR BLACK SHOES even if urs are falling apart or they’re different but I’ll spend $300 on a pair of heels I’ll never wear them hide in a closet from howard” - “ Cashay let’s get you A CAT” how’d you come home w two - lee “ awe THEYRE crying being separated this breaks my heart “ LETS GET BOTH DOCTOR Howard’s going to be sooo mad - cashay “ just tell Howard I want3d two I’ll take the fall for you” - WHY DO YOU FUCKING HATE ME LEE.

[you-did-well-moon]

Seventeen reaction to s/o writing a cute song about them

Type: pure fluff kids

Word count: 4,556

A/n: you guys don't know how fat of an uwu I busted seeing this request. Even now my heart is like bursting with love. I also changed up the request a bit. I don’t have many love songs in my playlist so once again it’s research time. I didn’t really make it a idol reader since I wanted it tp be more personal. Don't be afraid to talk to me or to request. Stay safe clowns -Moon

yes, im fully aware you cant write a song in a day but shhhhh

S.Coups

Song: Hypnotized - Years And Years

“I know a place where it's always so perfect and blue And a boy says, Babe, believe me, it's all for you Ooooh the fortune said, Flowers bloom with no regret

Surround me, body and soul Pull me into your glow, make me blush Unbound me, spin me in gold As the story unfolds in your touch”

You were sitting on the couch, your notebook in your lap trying to focus on the essay you were writing, but your eyes kept going back to your boyfriend. He was currently listening to one of his members who was troubled by something. The sweet look in his eyes reminded you much of the same look he’d give you when speaking reassuring words into the shell of your ear as he pulled you into his capable arms. You couldn't stop your pencil from spilling words of love onto the page with a soft smile tugging at your lips.

You were so distracted you didn't notice Seungkwan reading the intimate words over your shoulder until he snatched the notebook from your hands. Thankfully, Seungcheol noticed your predicament immediately moving to save you but freezing when Seungkwan told him you had written a love song about him. He looked at you who was staring at the floor before grabbing the notebook and hitting Seungkwan upside the head with it. He bought you closer to his warm body allowing you to hide your face in his chest leading you to his room. He would softly ask you if he could look at what you had written. Finishing reading the words he turned around trying to hide the huge smile overtaking his mouth. When you reached out to him, he quickly got a hold of you falling gently onto his bed as he hid his smile in your neck squishing you in a tight hug. 

Seungcheol would find so much comfort in your sweet words when you couldn't be there to provide comfort yourself. He’d have it somewhere where he can look at it whenever he wants to. If he was particularly missing you, he’d let a tear or two slip. 

Jeonghan

Song: I Wouldn't Mind - He Is We 

”Carefully we'll place for our destiny. You came and you took this heart And set it free. Every word you write and sing is so warm to me So warm to me. I'm torn, I'm torn. To be right where you are.

I'm not afraid anymore. I'm not afraid.”

You chewed at the end of your pencil as you worked on your notebook eyebrows furrowing when you noticed your boyfriend hadn't whined out at you to leave your work for later and cuddle him. Looking up your expression immediately  softened at the sight of your boyfriend’s chest lightly rising and falling with his face mushed up against the pillow. You chuckled gently brushing his hair away from his eyes, fingers falling to trace along his cheekbones until they took a hold of your discarded pencil starting to write words that easily came at the thought of your lover.

You couldn't help the rush of warmth that spread across the expanse of your chest when any thought of your boyfriend popped up in your head. You remember distinctly how afraid you were to be with someone like him. Someone so carefree and laid back. Someone with a job like the one he had with thousands of eyes watching every move he made. You also distinctly remember how quickly he has assured you, you would be safe with him if it was the last thing he did. Even if relaxed and easy going, Jeonghan would not hesitate to step up if your safety or happiness was in danger. You were so lost in thinking of the way your relationship had grown, you didn't notice the bed shifting lightly next to you. You weren't really surprised when you felt a body roll on top of yours a chin placing itself on your shoulder. You let him read the fond words grinning when you heard him lightly laugh into your hair arms turning your body around to smother you in light kisses.

Jeonghan would tease you about the song joking about how you must really love him to write such a cheesy song, but he only pokes fun with good intentions. He memorized the lyrics softly singing them at random times not even noticing the words coming out his mouth. If he has any say in it, it's the song he’ll sing at your wedding.

Joshua

Song: Heaven - Exo

“Hello angel, you’re like a painting You’re all I see when I look to the skies City street lights, even if the lights go out And the moon disappears, it’s bright because I have a star that fell from the skies And it’s you

I keep laughing for some reason every night Even when I close my eyes, I can’t sleep I spend the entire night with thoughts of you Your sparkling smile lets me breathe Probably you, you I’m sure you have wings hidden behind your back Anyone can tell you’re my angel I can fly as long as I’m with you”

You couldn't help but laugh as Joshua was fighting with a pigeon who was trying to steal the sandwich in his hands. You had come on a date to Han River riding your bikes with Joshua carrying a blanket in his backpack and you carrying a picnic basket. You had told him to eat his food before the birds caught wind of it, but he insisted on taking pictures because Minghao wanted some. You shook your head lightly when Joshua offered the bird a small piece and it finally left him alone. Giggling to yourself, you looked up at him munching happily on his sandwich features highlighted by the sun’s light.

Getting the little notebook you always carried around with you from his backpack, you started writing a song about your angelic boyfriend. Everything seemed easier when you were with him. Brighter. Happier. Every moment was spent beautifully and every action was laced with love. Even breathing seemed easier around him. Every few moments, you would look up at him, your chest shaking with a quiet laugh, and your eyes sparkling with mirth before clutching the notebook to your chest and continuing to write. Joshua eventually took note of this placing his head on his hands and softly asking what you were up to. You narrowed your eyes playfully giving him the notebook with your heart fluttering nervously. As he read the words, his smile would grow bigger and the blush on his cheeks would deepen. He would reach out to ruffle your hair promising hugs and kisses when you got home. Well, he didn't fail to deliver.

Joshua would be playful but serious about the song you wrote. He definitely grew confidence in your relationship becoming touchier. Randomly rapping trying to rhyme with love around you. He would take a picture of the page looking at it and smiling because he knew no matter what happened, his own angel was waiting for him to be in their arms and he was always ready for endless amounts of love you were sure to shower him with. 

Jun

Song: Moon And Back - Alice Kristiansen 

“baby to the moon, and back i still love you more than that when your skies are grey and your whole world is shakin' to the moon, and back i love you more than that we may fall but we'll keep on going we may break but we won't say broken through the cracks in the road the flowers grow”

Your hands that were clutching on to the glass of water shook slightly after having to calm down your boyfriend who had been crying for a multitude of reasons. Missing his family and believing he wasn’t good enough for both the group and you were the main reasons. You had calmed him down with a hand rubbing at his back and comforting words whispered into his tear stained shirt. You convinced him to play some games to distract him. Entering his room you saw him now fully immersed into his game fingers hurriedly jabbing at the buttons as he sat on the floor.

You placed the water on his nightstand watching as he sent a small smile your way at the sound of the glass hitting the wood of the furniture. You made your way towards him sitting down knees and thighs brushing against his. You couldn’t stop yourself as you analyzed him before whipping out your phone starting to write what you deemed a song. Junhui had always asked you how much you loved him, and you always answered “to the moon and back”. But both of you knew the love you held for each other was immeasurable. You would be there for each other no matter what life had in store for you. Smiling in satisfaction, you softly nudged Jun with the edge of your phone. You watched as his expression became shyer laughing under his breath. He didn't say anything for a little bit needing time to process just how fast his heart was beating. Taking a deep breath, he’d exhale slowly falling into your body while digging his face into your neck telling you to just stay like that for a little bit.

Jun would always go quiet whenever you mentioned the song, always needing time to fully process the fact that yes, you had written a love song for him. A song that always managed to make his heart stop just thinking about it. He would find himself murmuring the words while lost in thought smiling softly at the thought of the song and of you.

Hoshi

Song: Starlight - Taeyeon Ft. Dean

”Reflected in my eyes is your squinted eyes, yeah You’re smiling behind that awkward face You’re so lovable, I couldn’t hold back, oh I discovered you like a miracle, you always make me smile You are my starlight

You are my starlight, shine on my heart When I’m with you, it feels like I’m dreaming all day You are my starlight, I get so happy Your love is like a gift”

You were laying on your stomach in the practice room working on a present for your boyfriend as he worked on a new choreography for the group. You smiled at the fact that even though he was probably tired and sleepy, his eyes looked as bright as ever. You had been there keeping him company all day, but you didn't mind. You were rewarded with Soonyoung flopping next to you and showering you with love in the form of kisses and tickles every few minutes.

You checked the time on your phone noticing it was close to it being time to go home since Soonyoung never liked staying too late when you were with him. You tried speeding up your writing a bit not noticing your boyfriend approaching you until he was right in front of you. You tried hiding what you were working on by shoving it under your body, but it was too late. Soonyoung was able to clutch on to it and read what you were working on as you whined about it not being finished yet. You would see his hands start to tremble and his eyes shimmering. You asked what was wrong, but he’d shake his head taking your face in his shaking hands softly kissing you while thanking you in between kisses. Soonyoung would feel so touched, but he would smile shakily not letting his tears fall, his hands falling to clutch on to your own.

You bet Soonyoung would make a little dance to your song, and he would make you dance to it with him telling you had to dance since you wrote it. This would lead to many moments of you guys laughing on the floor and randomly hugging each other. Hosh would always have the brightest smile on his face just thinking about the song, and he would get clingy too not being able to stop smothering you in his love because oh wow he loved you so much he felt like he was going to burst.

Wonwoo

Song: Beautiful Feeling - Day6

”Shivers go down my body I’m so happy That I’m shedding tears Some people say love But I think There’s something more than that If you know, tell me If there isn’t, make one up To this beautiful feeling This beautiful feeling

Like and love Aren’t enough To express this beautiful feeling”

You should have expected Wonwoo taking a long time trying to decide between what book he wanted to take home, but sitting there in the book store on a pair of love seats facing each other you were beginning to think you seriously underestimated Wonwoo’s indecisive book choices. You looked at him, glasses sliding down the slope of his nose and eyes focuses on the book in his hands. It was like you weren't even there. Shaking your head fondly, you decided to work on the song you would eventually give to him.

Practically shoving your nose in your notebook, you too became focused on the words spilling across the page. You didn't notice Wonwoo getting up until you felt a shoe softly nudging your leg. Looking up to see him with a bag already in his hands you bashfully smiled when his eyebrows raised tilting his head in question of the notebook in your hands. You waved slightly to the other love seat giving him your notebook when he was settled. His eyebrows furrowed, and he looked up at you with a shocked pointing at himself as if questioning how such lovely words could be written about.. him. You nodded with your eyes never leaving his. He took a deep breath. He had so much waiting to spill out in pure adoration for you, but he couldn't do it in public. Getting home and he would tentatively put your notebook down before bringing you into his embrace. He cradled your head in his hand with the other on the small of your back leaning his head against yours, and he’d close his eyes tightly not saying anything. He just wanted to savor the feeling of you in his arms, your scent giving him the most wonderful high, and your hands clutching on to his shirt.

Wonwoo would be distracted for a while, head swimming with thoughts of you. Your words inspired by him flashing behind his eyelids every time he closed his eyes. He scoffed reading a romance novel or watching a tv show because no matter what, nothing would ever be able to compare to the love story between him and you.

Woozi

Song: Let Me - Got7

“It might have been the bright sun My face turned red probably It might have been just a feeling I saw you blush too I’m getting drunk on a good feeling today Neither of us even touched alcohol Can I softly hold your hand If you’re ok, can I go for it? Baby Let me hold your hand

Will you be by my side, by my side Can I hold your hand? Don’t be shy Today we come together Today you are especially lovely to me Tonight is our Just one chance Can I hug you? Don’t be afraid Today we come together”

At this point in your relationship, Jihoon had written tons of love songs inspired by you. Each one always making your heart flutter when you heard it. Almost each one having been softly sung against your skin by him. Each one imprinting themselves across the expanse of your chest and heart. You had never been one to write love songs, when there were already millions of them, but now that you had Jihoon in your life, it was the only thing you could think about. You eventually gave in to the temptation, but you hadn't told him of the song.

Sitting with him in his studio, you watched him totally immersed in his songs bringing the lyrics to life with different beats and melodies. Meanwhile, you were working on your own song. The love song your members had begun teasing you about. You had finished it a long time ago, but you kept changing things because you were nervous. You slipped his own headphones off his head gently smiling nervously when he looked at you with questioning eyes. You slipped your own headphones plugged to your laptop with the song ready to play over his ears. You played with your fingers, but when he looked up you almost jumped back in surprise. You had never seen his eyes hold so much love and adoration before. He was looking at you like you had hung the moon and stars in the sky. He would want to be as close to you pulling you on to his lap and resting his head on your chest.

Jihoon would feel like he was floating because you had just told him you love him in his language. Music. He would not be able to stop himself from using some of your lyrics in one of his own songs, with your permission of course, It would be the song that always bought him strength when he stayed late in the studio, and a song that made him happier in general.

DK

Song: The Way You Smile - NewSong ft. Francesca

“The way you open the door you always see about me Treat me like I'm a princess boy you're so sweet Love the way that I feel when I'm in your arms You whisper "You're beautiful" so safe and warm There's a million more, these are just a few Of the many reasons I love you

But there's something about the way you smile I can see forever in your eyes Telling me I'm yours and you're all mine The way that you smile We're like two lovers in a sweet romance I'm your leading lady and you're my man You can say I love you with just a glance”

You were sitting on the couch with the tv in front of you playing an anime Dokyeom had been wanting to see for a long time finally having found the time to do so. He always moved a lot when watching anime because he just got too excited to keep still, so he had ended up sitting in front of you on the floor with his back to the couch in between your legs watching the tv with bright wide eyes. You had been running your hands through his hair until he didn't notice you had stopped in favor of working on the song in your laptop. 

When he did notice, he didn't seem to mind much his laughter almost as loud as the tv when something particularly funny happened. He would tilt his back to beam at you, and you never failed to return the same smile. You got thirsty heading to the kitchen to get water making the mistake of leaving your laptop open on the song. You got lost in thought not hearing the sound of the anime stop or your song start. It wasn't until the song was almost done that you noticed, running into the living room just as Dokyeom looked up at you with flushed cheeks and teary eyes. He asked you who the song was about with a shaking voice and you replied with a simple “you”. He basically stumbled across the room and crashing into your body sobbing into your neck. You could feel his heart beating rapidly in his chest pressed against yours. You wrapped your arms around him just as tightly as his were wrapped around you asking him what was wrong. He just responded with “no one has ever done something as beautiful or lovely as this for me”. 

Dokyeom would become a bit shy around you for a while after this, bursting out into giggles whenever he saw you. After that wore off, he would get a surge of confidence flirting with you but immediately getting shy and giggly afterwards. 

Mingyu

Song: Touch - Nct 127

“Your voice that calls my name makes my heart drop From some point, I started to talk just like you I can figure it all out, once I hold your hand Once I hold your hand, you know

I don’t know how I can withstand you Even I’m shocked over how I’m being, it’s true My feet won’t listen And keeps following you”

You groaned as you made your way to a bench under a tree next to the field Mingyu had taken you to. He and some of the members wanted to play some games outside, and he had decided to bring you along with him. Something about seeing how manly he looked while throwing a ball at Seungkwan’s face. You were grateful to spend some time with him, but you envied the ball being held by his arms as he talked with the members about the rules of whatever stupid game they had made up. 

Nevertheless, you found the opportunity to work on the song you had been working on. You preferred the comfort of your studio, but the fresh breeze and warmth of the sun wasn't too bad.  You had your headphones fitting your head snuggly, so you didn't hear the boys shouting at you because Mingyu had accidentally kicked the ball too hard, and it happened to be in your direction. It hit the laptop not only cracking the screen but shoving it off your lap and crashing into the ground. Luckily, you had the song saved on your studio computer, but it was still upsetting as you had made some changes to the song. You felt your heart sink as frustration clouded your mind making your eyes water. Mingyu swore he had never run so fast in his life, but when he got to you, you started blabbering about the song he didn't even know existed. You told him to take you to your studio where you showed him the song with a pout and mad puppy eyes. Mingyu felt so bad, but at the same time he felt so good because he was sure his heart was a melted puddle on the ground.

Mingyu loved the song, finished or not. He loved everything about it running at you to pinch your cheeks and call you cute then running away with a loud laugh promising he would cook you a feast at an hourly rate. The feast was never cooked because Mingyu was too busy still thinking about the song and being overwhelmed by giddiness. He would not be able to keep his hands away from you for at least two or three weeks.

The8

Song: I Do Adore - Mindy Gledhill

”Everything you do it sends me Higher than the moon with every Twinkle in your eye You strike a match that lights my heart on fire

When you're near, I hide my blushing face And trip on my shoelaces Grace just isn't my forté But it brings me to my knees when you say”

You were in China. Minghao would be gone for some time while filming a show, so he wanted you to come with him. You agreed since you were on break. You forgot one minor detail. You can’t speak mandarin. Of course, you had your boyfriend, but he wasn't always with you which led to some awkward situations. You really didn't know how to tell the elderly man you were, in fact, not his long lost granddaughter. Minghao was currently filming, and he had left you in an empty room in the building telling staff to leave you be.

Minghao had been so patient and sweet (maybe a bit teasing) with you all throughout the trip, you felt inspired to work on the love song you had started a while ago. The room was empty, and the building had pretty thick walls, so you decided not to use your headphones. You would have to take a step back because the thought of Minghao hearing the song made you feel hot and made you bury your head into your hands shaking the nerve racking thoughts away. You were so immersed in the song nodding along to the beat, you didn't notice the man entering the wrong room until you felt a hand on your shoulder and a voice speaking in rapid mandarin. Turns out the man was a producer and really liked your song. You sat there with wide eyes frozen in your seat as the man spoke excitedly. Fortunately, Minghao wrapped up filming seeing the situation and quickly coming to your rescue. He talked with the man a bit before the producer left telling Minghao his partner wrote great love songs.

He asked you about it, and you would give in showing him the song while shyly hiding behind your hands. Hearing the song, Minghao would have to bite his lip to stop the big smile threatening to take over his face. He’d bury his face in your hair softly kissing your forehead and asking you why you did weird things to his heart while softly laughing. Minghao would ask to hear the song daily, always taking you in his arms as he listened to the sweet song.

Seungkwan

Song: Spring Love - Eric Nam x Wendy

“We fell asleep on a bench, leaning on each other The sweet cherry blossom colors the clear sky I wish it was always like this The name that changed us, spring spring spring I love you, I love you, I love you

Be my spring, I’ll always be your flower I hope we can melt each other and open each other up Our heart to heart that wasn’t visible before Now we’re facing each other The hidden flower is finally blooming I think spring has come”

You were curled up on Seungkwan’s bed working hard on the song you wanted to give to him as an anniversary present. It was basically finished, you just needed to add some finishing touches to it. You didn't notice that in trying to prepare this beautiful present for your boyfriend, you had neglected the poor man. He had enough, coming into the room whining and flopping down onto the bed telling you to pay attention to him while glaring at your laptop. He suggested going for a walk which you happily agreed to practically getting dragged out the building.

You hummed happily grasping Seungkwan’s hand in yours as he laughed and made jokes about stupid things the members had done. He asked about your day contentedly swinging your joined hands. The walk eventually turned quiet with the both of you enjoying each other’s presence and the nice weather. You felt so calm and peaceful you didn't notice yourself start to hum and softly sing the very song you were working on. Seungkwan asked you what song was stuck in your head, and you felt your soul leave your body. You tried lying by naming random songs, but Seungkwan had always been able to read you well, so he knew you were lying. You eventually gave in with slumped shoulders telling him you had made a song for him. He immediately asked to hear it, and you showed it to him returning back to the dorms. His voice trembled as he whispered words of gratefulness against your neck tenderly kissing the skin there as he sniffled trying to get his emotions together.

Seungkwan would demand to be on the song. He wanted to give back to you in some way, and he wanted to be a part of this beautiful song you created. It was a song he would always randomly sing laughing obnoxiously when the members asked him what song he was singing. He would sing it to you when you were near him tracing lines along your skin while smiling adoringly at you. He was just always singing the song.

Vernon

Song: Spring Memories - N.Flying

“Let’s fill each other’s empty spots I’ll comfort you just like we did back then

On that spring dazzling day

It won’t be like the first time but you’re always dazzling It’s like magic, on the same day So spring can eternally dazzle”

You sipped at the drink you had ordered at the café you and Vernon always met at, or more like walked up the counter and got asked “the usual” and you nodded while taking a seat in the corner of the quaint room waiting for Vernon. As always you wore a mask and hat. The café was in the quieter part of the city, but you could never be too careful. The barista who had long ago been able to recognize you had even given a dessert of your choice on the house. Deciding to work on the song you had been working on, your eyes didn't leave the screen of your laptop. 

You were confused when your vision suddenly went dark, but you were quickly able to recognize Vernon’s cologne. Grabbing a hold of his hands you turned around being met with his bashful yet bright smile. Slipping your headphones down to your neck, you got up to give him a hug. You had been tinkering with the lyrics, so they were on display on the screen. Vernon was facing the screen, and you didn't notice him reading the lyrics. It wasn't until a little bit after you sat down that he asked about the song. His eyes were filled with confusion. He mentioned that you never wrote love songs, usually being in charge of the more personal songs. “Well now that I have a wonderful muse to inspire me I can”. He asked if you were serious with a growing smile on his face. All your attention was on him now as you rested your chin on your hand softly nodding at him. He took in your answer and the warmth in your eyes not being able to stop himself from shoving his face into his hands to hide his flushed cheeks. You simply laughed taking his hand away to adoringly touch the tinted skin of his cheek before driving the conversation away from the song promising to send it to him when it was done.

When you did send the song to Vernon, someway, somehow, he would make it his ringtone. Proudly smiling when his phone rang and shaking his head when the members asked what song it was. This would actually give him the courage to show you all the raps he has written about you when he was too shy to show you before. 

Dino

Song: Life Is Rosy - Jess Penner

“I watch the sun, it's setting in your eyes Can you tell I'm wrapped up in your spell Yeah, it's all good and well I think I realize Beautiful yeah it's so wonderful Oh, darlin' don't you know That life is rosy Hey, look at my heart I think it's the start of something new“

Your knee wouldn't stop bouncing, your feet kept wiggling, and your fingers wouldn't stop tapping on your desk. You were nervous, your tongue feeling heavy in your mouth, and your stomach seemingly pushing against your ribs. Chan was going to visit you in the studio, and you were going to show him the song you had written while keeping him in mind. Of course, you had written many love songs before he came into your life, but this was different. Those songs were always inspired by childish assumptions you had on love because of inexperience.

This song was made with flashes of his smile and touch constantly flashing in your head. You groaned running your hands through your hair freezing when you heard a knock on your studio door. Wiping your sweaty palms on your pants, you opened the door relaxing when you saw Chan’s smile face as he greeted you with a hug and a playful poke at your abdomen. You timidly told him you had something to show him slipping your headphones onto his ears before dropping your hands to rest them on his shoulders. Turning around you caught your reflections on the mirror that rested against the wall. Him, a young but amazing dancer in the industry, and you, a young but talented producer in the same industry. You were so focused on the mirror you didn't see Chan taking off the headphones to turn the chair around and pull you into his lap. He would cling on to you tightly because wow he was so in love with you. Every flaw and every quirk he loved because it meant getting to see your smile and have you in his arms. His talented little producer was someone he swore he would never let go of.

Chan would be a bit quiet for a little bit, because he was just taking it all in. It suddenly weighed on him what you mean to him. You had become someone to him that he would drop anything for. Someone that always made his heart beat faster at close proximity, and no matter how he thought of it, he wouldn't change that for the world.

[socksual-innuendos]

OTP Meme

art by @yesjejunus​

Do they fight often? If so, what is their dynamic like?

Sort of, they’ve actually calmed down since first knowing each other. It use to be that they hated each other because ‘fuck you, I want to leave this stupid ass valley why do I need to fetch quest when my survival is maxed’, and ‘goddamnit you made me care about this kid that youre dragging into war I cant live with myself if he dies due to your little game of exterminate the raider tribe’.

I...am indecisive about how Emilia ends Honest Hearts, but even in the worse case scenario they do become at most tolerant of each other. Still, their arguments is mostly Emi poking and prodding for a reaction, and Joshua feeding right into it. These usually end in him being moody, but he rebounds well enough. Their big arguments though are usually over how things should be handled, in which case both do their own shit and then one has to bail the other out. 

Who is the most skeptical of the two?

Joshua, hands down. Emilia is so eccentric compared to anything he’s use to, he almost always has something to say about anything she brings up. Even if its sound to him he still questions it if it comes from her mouth. It isn’t always voiced, but the eyebrow does raise. He’s stopped being amazed at her actually accomplishing what she says she will and has started getting annoyed with it...what a show off.

Who would be most likely to suggest a night of dancing?

Emilia, and she’d dance whether he comes along or not. My Joshua never learned how to dance, but I don’t think its his cup of tea either. He hums while he works, though, and Emilia has honed in on that.

What would they do if the other was injured in battle?

Assess the situation and then adjust. I think both would cover each other, though I think Emi is more likely to haul his ass to safety. That’s her target, damnit! Unless one was really fucking up patching themselves up, I dont think the other would help with wound dressing though.

How do their fighting styles complement each other?

Complement is a very interesting word here. Their entire schtick is that Emilia is adaptive, dynamic, changing to fit the situation and he is....just headstrong and very determined, haha. They work well together in that she forms to fit his methods and is his fall back if things ever go south. It works out well, some of the time. Other times its Emilia stealing his kills and him getting angry at how fast her draw is. 

Do they want children? Does it frighten them? How many do they want?

Together? No. He is particularly someone she would be cautious around. In their canon I don’t think they sleep together, just because Emilia has Thoughts about a man like that being on top of her, or at least having some kind of mindset about having slept with her. 

Still, I think my Graham is old enough to realize that kids wouldn’t have fit well into his life, Legion existing or not. Both grew up with religious and family pressures to marry and have kids, and neither really felt that it was for them. I think my Graham tried to find a greater purpose than starting a family in Legion, and that was his justification for never trying.

What happened when they took them home to their families? If their families aren’t in the picture anymore, how do they feel about it?

Joshua learns about Emilia’s family and past in a round about sort of way. Camila introduced herself to him, which was a heart attack to Emilia, and he’s seen the photos she keeps in her cigarette case. In honesty, he feels a bit envious at how closely she was able to keep her sister. Though I don’t know how I headcanon his blood family situation, I do think that he misses kinship. After Edward, he becomes very lonely, and even reconnecting with New Canaan he feels lost. How does a man his age find another friend that close? It’s part of why he so easily falls in being war chief again in my canon. It’s familiar, and its something he knows he’s good at, and that in itself is its own comfort. 

For Emilia, I think she envies his community. Though she was young when her life started falling apart she still knew what a stable home was, what a loving family was, and what it felt like to feel safe. She knows that even after all the tragedy he’s caused and how much misfortune fell on his tribe that he still has a home to go back to, and that they’d accept him with open arms. She misses being on the receiving end of that type of love, and most of all she hates being so closed off to people about herself. Even her sister she hides things from, and even then her sister doesn’t share her faith. I think if Joshua ever invited her meet his family she’d accept, even if she thought it would go poorly, just to feel things out and see if she could find some community in there.

How does each person show affection towards the other?

Again, its in the small things. When Emilia springs him from NCR custody, it was for entirely selfish, headhunting reasons, but she brought him bandages and his bible, and those were the small comforts that mattered. She’s hard on him in areas that no one else was, like teaching him genuine wilderness survival, or how to be independent. She also tries to get him to slow down and think about what he really cares about. Sure he gets his purpose from being war chief with the Dead Horses, but he truly does miss his tribe. These show themselves in small conversations, but if she didn’t care for him she wouldn’t even bring them up.

For him, its a bit of the same. He entertains her bullshit, but he also cleans and repairs her weapons. During their end game, Emilia has a robotic prosthetic leg, and he learns how to repair and upkeep it on the fly. He becomes receptive to her teaching (if only for a while), and to humble himself enough for that should speak volumes. 

Who cries the most? Who is better at comforting?

Neither really cry, though I think Emilia at least doesn’t feel pressured to keep face around him. Sharing a religious background and a lot of similar-but-different viewpoints, they actually comfort each other well in a passive sort of way. If their problems don’t relate to each other, they can usually talk through their issues. For Emilia, it’s a huge comfort to have someone else religious to talk to. She doesn’t often get this with most people, and even if Joshua isn’t 100% on the same thought train, the core belief is still there. 

For Joshua, it’s nice having someone who is also religious but doesn’t feel like he has to perform for them. Emilia isn’t here to judge him, they’ve both done and do horrible things in their life, and she’s just different enough that if she says something he doesn’t agree with he can dismiss it. Having someone he doesn’t have to keep face around is a breath of relief. Its nice to not have any expectations set on you, and although it annoys him a majority of the time, her laid back personality allows him to let his guard down. 

When it comes down to it though, a lot of what Emilia has already lived through are things that are popping up in Joshua’s life now, and he often finds reassurance in that she’s found ways of coping, and that she is willing to talk with him when he needs it.

Who is the bigger flirt?

Emilia, no contest. Making passes at him is a pass time to her. If he didn’t have his face covered, she’d probably see just how hard she could make him blush. 

[the-gay-cryptid]

DND Last Night!

Quick background: we’re in a town called Neiro, and last session was spent battling our way through a dungeon. We started this session in the tavern celebrating our success with the companions we went through the dungeon with.

Saffron drank something called Dragons Fire Ale from one of our companions, and she got fucked up

Our other companion was drinking something called halfling stout, which had the slogan: “makes a halfling feel like a wholeling”, which had us cackling for a while.

Saffron got into a drinking contest with a gnome, and had a grand total of 3 double shots of this ale. Every single one was a mistake.

Saffron: Another!

Jade and Soli in unison: NO!

“I can’t wait to see Josh’s face when he finds out about this” “oh god, he’s going to kill us!”

Saffron, so drunk she cant lift her glass: Vers...feed me the next one!

Soli threatened to never heal Vers again if he actually gave saffron more ale

Saffron got put into the special bag we made for her to ride in on Vers’ back.

Soli and Jade swore they weren’t helping him clean it when Saffron threw up in his bag. 

Jade, with fear: No one tell Joshua about this

Saffron, drunk and with damaged pride: you tell him I won!

she definitely did not win

Saffron stayed in the bag, just her little head poking out, and Jade fed her crackers to help soak up the alcohol

Saffron took great pride in the fact that she got this wasted before sundown

but then!!! bells started ringing!!! and we were told “He’s here!”

so we followed the towns people to the town center, and we were told to get down in a manner that I now realize was very much like a surprise party.

a man appears! riding his horse! Its our dear friend Joshua, who hasn’t been in this quest until just now!  and he gets charged by the mayor.

the mayor..we have seen in action only once. he is a buff old ass man in a wizard hat. Joshua tries to get away, and, for pretty much the first time since we’ve met him, gets his shit wrecked. 29 points of damage in one hit. we hear Joshua’s bones crack.

and then we find out that the mayor is Josh’s grandfather, and this was all in good fun, and his grandfather heals him. Jade, being the only one who passed her arcana check, realizes this old ass man is very powerful, and she is very afraid of him.

Joshua takes us back to the tavern to watch a fight, and then we watch a lovely show.

the show is a beautiful woman singing. her name is Rachel, and Jade met her earlier that day at a music competition. Except she was judging the competition, so Jade hadn’t hear her actually play yet.

Rachel, it turns out, is an incredibly powerful glamour bard. and Jade, as a bard and lesbian, is smitten.

and then Rachel came up to our table with a bottle of wine and asked “come here often?” Saffron, our dear, drunk, little girl in a backpack, tried to flirt. Soli fumbled over herself trying to compliment Rachel. and Jade was in full blown gay panic mode and as soon as she got some alcohol in her system, she was going to charm the hell out of this gorgeous woman.

and then Rachel sat with Joshua. and we found out that they know each other. And, thankfully before Jade gets any alcohol, we learn that she is Josh’s fiance.

Saffron swears to steal her from him.

Soli, very tired: “Please excuse the small drunk child.”

We all went to Joshua’s house, which is super nice, because this island and town are in fact owned by his family. joshua is a rich boi.

But now it’s angst time

Jade went to Joshua’s study to talk to him about how she’s worried about saffron, because saffron has been sickly and violent since we got to the town, and something is very clearly wrong. and then had another gay panic because rachel was laid out on the couch while Joshua was painting (our dm, who plays Joshua, then had to clarify that no, this was not a titanic type scene and Rachel is just keeping him company)

Meanwhile! Soli sat with Saffron in her room to keep her company and make sure she doesn’t get sick. Saffron asked Soli where we got all the items we came back with from our little trip without her. (because we gave her like...five magic items from that trip)

Soli told her the short version, which was that we were hired and sent back in time to get something from Westshire before it burned down.

Saffron freaks out when Soli says the town’s name. She insists Soli is lying, and she gets so frantic, she ends up running to Josh’s study to ask him.

and so Jade sees her run by as she’s going into her room, and joins Soli in chasing after her.

Vers meanwhile has left the house and has no idea any of this is going on.

Saffron is still freaking out, and asks Joshua the same thing, and gets the same answer. when Jade and Soli get to the study, she asks Jade, and when Jade tells her they went to Westshire, she gets even more freaked out.

And saffron shows us a picture she got. she got it from a memory camera in a shop in town. it’s of Westshire. it is burning, and there is an elven woman with a symbol of House Lyrandar on her hand, and she is clearly the one who caused the fires

We all promise, very ardently, that we care about her and we trust her and we will do everything in our power to keep her safe from whoever this woman is.

We stayed in his study, Saffron sitting on Josh’s knee, Soli sitting beside them with a hand on Saffron’s back, and Jade sitting on the floor, just watching over all this.

Soli began asking Saffron more questions, trying to figure out why Saffron was there during the fires..and very slowly coming to the conclusion that, given that Saffron told us she’s an orphan, and given we were in Westshire about a decade ago, and given Saffron’s age, it’s very likely she was in the orphanage. She then mentions that she, Josh, and Jade went to the orphanage while we were there.

and Jade notices something (and I redeem my shitty ass roll from the last time I tried to do this). Saffron, she realizes, looks not quite human. she can see under Saffron’s hood a little, and notices..Saffron’s ears are a little long for a human. More like that halfling baby she held in Westshire. (Screaming from me and Soli’s player ensues)

And Jade finally makes the connection. And she and Saffron lock eyes, and they have a moment of understanding. Saffron tries to glare at her, and Jade just stares back, completely unfazed.

Saffron admits she has a lot of secrets, and she fears that if she told us, we would kill her.

Soli and Jade assure the hell out of her that, fuck no, we trust and love her so much.

Joshua attempted to lighten to mood by showing off his painting of him slaying a dragon during out last mission, and was met by some bitterness from Soli who reminded him that, without her help, he’d have been burned to a crisp.

Soli and Jade took Saffron to bed and kept her company while she tried to get to sleep, and Jade sang the same lullaby for her that she sang to baby Saffron in Westshire

And then Jade laid in her bed and did not sleep well at all, because holy fuck, Saffron isn’t a human either, and she’s from Westshire.

Joshua, meanwhile, took out the crystal ball we got in westshire. we actually accidentally stole it from a dragon born woman named Raipora.

Joshua let Rachel know he was going to try it out, and to stop him if it looked like things were going wrong.

Joshua woke up in a cloudy void space, and guess who was there to meet him

Raipora’s a little pissed that he stole her crystal ball, but he explains he fully intended to return it, and even offers to give it back to her. but Raipora tells him she was killed in the fires that destroyed Westshire.

and now, if he will let her use him to see Saffron, she will allow him to use the crystal ball to cast scrying.

Joshua lets her see Saffron, who figures out she is being watched, and informs him and Raipora, though she apparently mistakes them for someone else, that she likes hide and seek, and she’s been winning their game, and then she locks eyes with them, and tells them that this is cheating.

she tells them she doesn’t appreciate being spied on.

and the spell ends, and Joshua is in the void with Raipora for four hours. He loves Raipora though, and calls her his druid grandma, and they spend the next few hours talking about divination and trying to manipulate the clouds in the void to become furniture.

Vers returned after getting drunk on the beach and questioning his life choices, and Joshua, now very thrilled, shoves the crystal ball at him and insists Vers should look into it.

Vers is less thrilled about Raipora. He is deeply uncomfortable around her, and just tries not to stand too close to her.

Raipora just asks him about Saffron, and she apparently has some investment in making sure we keep little Saffron safe.

Vers is not a fan of Raipora.

in the morning, Jade woke up early for the first in her life, and she and Soli hung out in the library for a couple hours. they found an adorable book of drawings made by Joshua as a child.

Jade found a book on the houses and did some reading on House Vol. Unbeknownst to the rest of the party, or their players, Jade has spent the past five years picking up any patchwork information she could find on the cult that kidnapped her, and she knows they have some connection to House Vol. 

She and Soli then get some breakfast with Joshua, and we realize that his hair looks really nice this morning, and that Rachel apparently fixed it for him. which is just fucking adorable.

Joshua brought a very hungover Vers breakfast, and Vers informs him he wants nothing to do with the crystal ball ever again.

Vers, Jade, Soli, and Joshua all convene in the kitchen to talk about the crystal ball.

Josh appeals to Soli’s kind heart, and tells her how lonely Raipora has been. Jade tells him that’s noble and all, but Raipora is creepy, so fuck that, and Vers is very glad for the validation.

Soli and Jade go to Saffron’s room to check on her and see how she’s feeling after the night’s events.

And Soli reminds her again that we trust her, and we would forgive her for almost anything.

Saffron looked over to Jade, and Jade told her the same, and that her feelings have not changed. Saffron questioned her, and Jade just told her again, a little more firmly, that, even now, she hasn’t changed her mind.

Saffron made a comment that Jade saw something she wasn’t supposed to see. Jade agreed, and again told her it changed nothing.

and Saffron took off her hood, officially telling both of them that she’s a halfling.

Jade, meanwhile, is absolutely giddy because Saffron’s been lying about being a human too, and as soon as the two of them can talk alone, Jade is 100% telling Saffron that she’s a changeling.

there’s a lovely group hug, because everyone’s emotional and we need it.

Joshua comes and gets Saffron to ask her about the what she said when he and Raipora watched her the night before.

Saffron apologized for what she said to Joshua, and is apparently very relieved it was him and not whoever she thought it was

they then have a stupid cute conversation about how Joshua using the crystal ball to win hide and seek is cheating, and Saffron will just know he’s used it, and then go hide somewhere else. and Joshua answers he’ll mist step to her before she can hide again. Just really cute stuff.

Joshua finds Soli and Jade and brings us downstairs to the living room for what, in hindsight, probably looked an awful lot like a seance. 

all of us, minus Vers, sat around the crystal ball and waited for it to take us. except it didn’t. it only took Saffron.

cue mild panic from Jade who isn’t sure how safe this is. Joshua assured her it was perfectly fine, and that if they got too concerned, they could just take the crystal ball from saffron’s body and she’d come back.

Saffron comes back to consciousness after an hour

Jade and Joshua look into the crystal ball, and we immediately get taken in

The two of them have a brief argument over whether Raipora is cool or creepy.

and Jade gets jump scared by Raipora in the void, and Josh starts making couches from the clouds again while Jade and Raipora talk.

Raipora asked Jade about Saffron, and Jade was not nearly as forthcoming as the Josh, and demanded to know why Raipora is asking

Raipora admitted she has some sort of care for saffron, and Jade, rather begrudgingly, admitted she was fond of Saffron

After some more questions, Raipora revealed she wants to use us as vessels for her spell components. She is incredibly powerful (level 20 druid)

 and then Raipora asked if Jade had anyone she wanted to see. and Jade just went very pale and very still. (Out of character, i was repeatedly yelling “fuck!” because the person playing Raipora isn’t even our regular dm, and she has no idea how perfect that was, and I can’t even tell her because  s p o i l e r s)

Jade finally collects herself and tells Raipora, very shakily, that she doesn’t want to see anyone right now, and she would prefer to never need to see someone, but it’s pretty damn obvious there’s someone she wants to see, but cant ask about while Joshua is still around to hear.

So Jade just promises to keep Saffron safe, as per Raipora’s request, and they’re sent back to their bodies after Raipora makes some comment about Saffron being useful

Joshua is in a great mood.

Jade is shaken and a little bit furious, but Saffron is a sweetheart and tried to comfort her.

And then it’s Soli’s turn to visit druid grandma!

Joshua tries to go back again, but Raipora refuses, telling him that she needs to speak to Soli alone.

there’s a lot of half formed furniture, because Josh is still figuring out how to manipulate the void. Raipora admits to Soli she appreciates the effort

Raipora tells her that we each have a destiny, and that it is curious Saffron found all of us

and then Raipora asked about Soli’s feelings about Saffron, to which Soli explained she wants to help Saffron be safe and happy, because Soli didn’t get to have much of a childhood, so she wants to make sure Saffron has more happiness than she did.

Raipora reminded Soli that she has read a letter none of us have seen. a letter about saffron and the person looking for her. And Raipora made Soli promise to protect Saffron with her life.

Raipora greatly appreciated this, and told her “the Rootlock legacy must live on” and sent Soli away with no further explanation

Jade: so, what’d the crazy lady say?..She say freaky shit to you too?

Soli, absolutely full of shit and very obviously hiding a lot: uh..yeah..she just said to protect my friends and family

Jade, being the queen of minding her own damn business: eh, fair enough.

We ended session there, because we got a lot done, and it was getting late. so that was absolutely amazing, and Jade is super ready to tell Saffron some shit now, and she still has so many questions. this got kinda long, sorry! 😅😅😅

[wwounu]

mafia!soonyoung “HOSHI” #2232111

↻ masterlist — intro￤s.coups￤yoon￤hong￤wen￤hoshi￤jeon￤woozi￤dk￤kim￤xu￤boo￤chwe￤lee

drift racer

leader of Perficio Unit

seventeen’s sort of chauffeur

the reason why seungcheol knows his way around streets? this guy.

his obsession with wanting to be a racer started all because of akira

the first moment his little four year-old eyes laid on it, it was love at first sight sparkly eyes, agape mouth, sparkles everywhere and everything

he’d watch the opening scene over and over again and never get tired of it

the thrill and dynamic of it all, how one single moment is never boring, daring to do the most insane of things

action and spy movies were his getaway from the world solely for the car chases

soonyoung wanted that

but as he grew older he realised that life wasn’t really like anime

real life was spent on eating and dumb exams he’d spend the night before cramming information

life got in the way of what his dreams, but racing was still close to his heart, even if that meant sneaking out of the house at night to attend drift races

and he wanted to race so badly the moment he stepped foot but there was one condition sixteen year old soonyoung couldn’t meet:

he had to have a car

quite obviously... he didn’t have a car, let alone was legal to drive

still, he kept attending often to watch the cars drift and race

but the more he stayed, the more he felt downhearted that he cant go on the track himself

so what does he do?

steal a car

truthfully it wasn’t ‘stealing’ as he found a busted car in a dump and called dibs because there was no name

problem two, the car needed repairing

and with the little money this teen had, soonyoung had to steal his family’s toolbox and learn how to repair the car himself

his life was currently: sleeping, eating, failing tests, sneaking out to drift races, failing more tests and trying to learn how the heck to repair a car

it took him two months to put the car in decent shape, which felt longer than it did since soonyoung had to also test the car’s stability

meaning soonyoung had to learn how to drive and that was an experience in itself

he was more worried that once he started to drive that the joy of it would fade away

but did it? hell no

soonyoung: 1 world: 0

on the bright side, he was proud of himself when he finally finished the car — he called it hurricane because the rust looked like tiny raindrops

his first race (that he sneaked in to join) ended up with him going home with way more money than he thought

despite lying about his age, he finally found home on the tracks — and the highlight of the night being driving away from the cops

gets a rush from driving, adrenaline pumps in his blood

seungcheol was an acquaintance of soonyoung’s during their highschool years, but hadn’t spoken until their senior year just before seungcheol left as the leader found out about his drift races

which only happened because soonyoung was sleep-talking about it during a library meet-up for a paired presentation they needed to do

soonyoung would always talk about his races to the male, usually bragging how tired he was because he had a fun crazy night, then crying over the bad mark he got on his paper shortly after

he even took seungcheol on a late night ride around his hometown to tour all places in that single night seungcheol was scared out of his mind at how fast he was driving, but soonyoung doesn’t need to know that

sadly, they lost contact when seungcheol disappeared

which is why seungcheol was begging jeonghan to find soonyoung and recruit him

jeonghan, being the way he is, played hot and cold with his begging friend for a while before eventually saying FINE when seungcheol didn’t talk for him to two weeks

he drags himself to the location seungcheol told him to go becuase it was apparently the place soonyoung races in

disguises himself with a very big hoodie and mask so he wouldn’t be recognised, but that wasn’t a problem because the area was more packed than jeonghan expected

for illegal racing, it was sure popular

question was, who the hell is soonyoung

got bored after two seconds so he wandered around and tried to find someone who didn’t look like they wanted to hunt him down or weird him out

struck up a conversation with a guy who was occupied on his phone, sending cartoon bunny images to a chat named famalam jeonghan snorted at the stupid name

he also noticed that the guy was leaning on a car with 1010 harshly engraved on it, but ignored that

soonyoung, on the other hand, was minding his own business that night, mainly more excited than usual since his parents were out of town which meant he was guilt-free about sneaking out tonight

he also wanted to try out his new hand-painted, shiny red car, not forgetting the small design he was trying out for the first time

but before he could get on the track, someone approached him — a really strange approach — yet thought that he could have some time talking with this person to be on time for the race

as the announcer was warning the two minute start before the race, his eyes lit up and made his way inside the car and silently prayed that it was fully working before twisting the key and hearing the sweet sound of it starting up

cooly, he says ‘thats my cue’ to the stranger

just as he was going to leave, the stranger asks his name

soonyoung smiles, revving his engine whilst the announcer counts down for dramatic effect

‘soonyoung. kwon soonyoung’

and he zooms off within seconds, hollering when the cars are moving on the track and his joins along, placing himself first place in a few seconds

jeonghan owed seungcheol an apology.

doubtless, soonyoung won, getting his money just in time before the blue and red lights could be seen

he was about to leave up until he saw the stranger he talked unaware of where to go, a bit panicked

wanting to be the hero, he offered him a ride and luckily escaped from the cops

the man, which introduced himself as jeonghan, thanked him once soonyoung took him to a local 24-hour diner, munching on a celebratory sundae with his prize money

he offered jeonghan some, but jeonghan refused but what monster refuses sundaes?

the rest of the story basically is soonyoung seeing jeonghan once again during his races, apparently having an urgent problem that he had to attend to

which made soonyoung offer to drive him to this location, missing out the race at least that meant someone other than him could be the winner

stepping on it, soonyoung drove as fast as he could to the place jeonghan needed to go to asap jeonghan didnt expect for soonyoung to give him whiplash

and when soonyoung realised he was stepping foot in a dark, eerie building, he figured that it was too late to call quits

his active mind thought jeonghan was an undercover murderer, ready to cut soonyoung’s limbs to sell them to the black market and ship them to germany, he wasn’t ready for his arms to be shipped to germany-

‘SEUNGCHEOL IS THAT YOU?!’

and like that, he joined seventeen without any hesitation

never thought of being a real drift racer for a mafia

just thought his racing days would be a illegal hobby to him

soonyoung was also an icon within the drift racing community, so he was sad when he was told that he couldn’t attend every night anymore because he’s in a mafia and ‘seventeen is supposed to be undercover, butthead’

soonyoung giggled at minghao saying butthead

his collection of cars wasnt too bad, but there weren’t any to make people go thats one cool dude with a cool car

joshua lets soonyoung use his cars since he personally doesnt drive that confused soonyoung and it surprised soonyoung because his many many cars was like a utopia

he’s proud of his character development from ‘running away from police all the time’ to ‘running away from the police with better and fancier cars’

so far soonyoung has broken twenty and counting

and lost sixty-three... and counting

knows how to hijack cars through his repairing experience

hijacks cars whenever he gets the chance to aka all the time

and during whole-group jobs, he trots to the parking lot with chan because he’s dragged to these things to inspect the cars and cherry-pick which is the most worthy to steal

but if other cars catches his eye, he leaves an engraving of 1010 with a metal object

in regards to 1010, he makes sure all of the cars joshua he owns has 1010 nicely engraved on it because he deserves to be treated as a prince

always sometimes can’t help himself when he sees a shiny new car, he just has to get it

practices doing donuts with those cars in spare time

“soonyoung what’s this”

“the lambo veneno! a beauty!”

“which you broke into”

“i left an apology note!”

“YOU STILL STOLE A CAR”

“but-”

“THIS IS THE THIRD TIME THIS MONTH SOONYOUNG GODDAMMIT”

Perficio Unit has to watch over their leader because leader unit have given up on him

although he seems cheerful with his members, he can get angry easily

wont hesitate to run someone over

doesnt take it lightly when he’s shunned by others as being stupid and purposely crashes into their car if he’s feeling like it

as for his members, he cant stay angry for too long, but is the type to flip his personality around them or usually leave the room when they’re in there

he’ll then think how stupid he’s acting and apologise himself, talking to that member about what went wrong and where they can build up on it

also buys them something because he feels bad, like that gold bracelet he got for mingyu or the ugly gucci slippers he got for minghao

when he takes lead of their mission, his speeches are usually race-related or metaphorised using racing-terminology

no one understands what he means

is in charge of getting the call when his members need a pick up and he’s there within a snap, blasting music when they jump in and he drives off as they shoot the rivals following them

when it comes to leading his unit, he doesn’t have much to do since they understand each other perfectly and get on with the work — it’s soonyoung who needs to control himself

can sometimes go too far by getting too tipsy on the wine and Perficio Unit play rock paper scissors on who looks after him jun usually loses

loves heists especially when he’s chosen to lead them

seventeen avoid doing the typical bank or jewellery heists, but heist upperclass families/mafias that have had dirty business with seventeen

because of this, soonyoung plans way way way in advance about recreating the best car chases he sees in movies

not akira level, because nothing can come close to that masterpiece

therefore, the most weird things happen during this and seventeen just have to go with seeing sudden explosions and inserts of wild animals coming into the chase

Perficio Unit cannot believe that this is their leader, but sadly, it is

vernon supports his ideas and helps him to live out his dream by planning the explosions at the right time and making sure the fire that spreads spells out HOSHI when authorities come to report on the area

minghao, being the one with braincells, stabs a knife through the newspaper with its headline regarding a fire-spread the night previous

soonyoung is snaked out by vernon that exact moment the male confronts him

minghao isnt surprised

is probably the only one who still connects with his family

they aren’t aware about his new mafia life — nor the fact he’s been sneaking out since sixteen to join drift races — but he isn’t letting go of his family

his family had never been stable with money ever since childhood, and it was because of soonyoung’s reward money that they moved and are living safely in thailand

has to take care of them because they worked so hard for him and he can only return the favour this way, even if it involves with blood in his hands

but if his family find out about the mafia, he doesnt know what to do — seventeen mean so much to him as well

and he can’t choose sides between his family or seventeen

though, he has his future planned out already

one day he hopes to reunite with his family in thailand permanently to begin a life of farming

by that time he’d already have enough from his drifting days and seventeen to live comfortably, spending it carefully now that he’s an old person because old people are mature with their money

would gather up his grandkids ‘little stars’, he calls them to tell stories about how grandpapa hoshi would speed off away in cars from explosions with the help of his best friends

and his children would laugh at how silly he’s sounding while the grandkids’ eyes shine like his and his partner glances at him too, chuckling quietly

even his grandkids enjoy akira too!

well, his kids tell them off for making them watching something graphic, so he lets his grandkids settle with cars 2

but he’ll never raise his children and grandkids to be like him, or live in his lifestyle because even though it’s fun, it’s dangerous, so he gets overprotective with his little stars and scolds his children when they arent doing something right, even if it’s minor

a very naggy and cheerful grandpapa

doesn’t talk much about his past when his kids ask because it’s not important to him anymore since his family comes first, but when he thinks about it later he does admit it was the biggest part of his life for him and his partner is well aware of that too, keeping the secret safe too

and again, there’ll be one day where he’s sat, looking up into the sunset of his farm as the crops grow

his grandchildren are playing with their new puppy while his kids are preparing dinner

suddenly, he’s smiling to himself

he thinks about his life, the cool things he’d done, the stupid things he’d done, about his adventures, about seventeen

his mind lingers on seventeen, wondering how they’re doing — maybe they should meet again, like they do every year — ask seungcheol how his grandson is taking the business, or if chan fulfilled his dream of travelling the world

and he swears he could see their silhouettes in the far distance, beckoning him over to come

soonyoung does

and he feels young again

“A line for reaching to the beloved ones”

[writingguide003-blog]

44 Writing Hacks From Some of the Greatest Writers Who Ever Lived

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44 Writing Hacks From Some of the Greatest Writers Who Ever Lived

Writing looks fun, but doing it professionally is hard. Like really hard. Why on earth am I doing this?-hard.

Which is probably why so many people want to write, yet so few actually do. But there are ways to make it easier, as many writers can tell you. Tricks that have been discovered over the centuries to help with this difficult craft.

In another industry, these tricks would be considered trade secrets. But writers are generous and they love to share (often in books about writing). They explain their own strategies for how to deal with writers block to how to make sure your computer never eats your manuscript. They give away this hard-won knowledge so that other aspiring writers wont have to struggle in the same way. Over my career, Ive tried to collect these little bits of wisdom in my commonplace book (also a writers trick which I picked up from Montaigne) and am grateful for the guidance theyve provided.

Below, Ive shared a collection of writing hacks from some amazing writers like Kurt Vonnegut, George Orwell, Stephen King, Elizabeth Gilbert, Anne Lamott, and Raymond Chandler. I hope its not too presumptuous but I snuck in a few of my own too (not that I think Im anywhere near as good as them).

Anyway, heres to making this tough job a tiny bit easier!

[*] When you have an idea for an article or a bookwrite it down. Dont let it float around in your head. Thats a recipe for losing it. As Beethoven is reported to have said, If I don’t write it down immediately I forget it right away. If I put it into a sketchbook I never forget it, and I never have to look it up again.

[*] The important thing is to start. At the end of John Fantes book Dreams from Bunker Hill, the character, a writer, reminds himself that if he can write one great line, he can write two and if he can write two he can write three, and if he can write three, he can write forever. He pauses. Even that seemed insurmountable. So he types out four lines from one of his favorite poems. What the hell, he says, a man has to start someplace.

[*] In fact, a lot of writers use that last technique. In Tobias Wolffs autobiographical novel Old School, the character types the passages from his favorite books just to know what it feels like to have those words flow through his fingertips. Hunter S. Thompson often did the same thing. This is another reason why technologies like ebooks and Evernote are inferior to physical interaction. Just highlighting something and saving it to a computer? Theres no tactile memory there.

[*] The greatest part of a writers time is spent in reading; a man will turn over half a library to make one book. Samuel Johnson

[*] Tim Ferriss has said that the goal for a productive writing life is two crappy pages a day. Just enough to make progress, not too ambitious to be intimidating.

[*] They say breakfast (protein) in the morning helps brain function. But in my experience, thats a trade-off with waking up and getting started right away. Apparently Kurt Vonnegut only ate after he worked for 2 hours. Maybe he felt like after that hed earned food.

[*] Michael Malice has advised dont edit while you write. I think this is good advice.

[*] In addition to making a distinction between editing and writing, Robert Greene advises to make an equally important distinction between research and writing. Trying to find where youre going while youre doing it is begging to get horribly lost. Writing is easier when the research is done and the framework has been laid out.

[*] Nassim Taleb wrote in Antifragile that every sentence in the book was a derivation, an application or an interpretation of the short maxim he opened with. THAT is why you want to get your thesis down and perfect. It makes the whole book/essay easier.

[*] Break big projects down into small, discrete chunks. As I am writing a book, I create a separate document for each chapter, as I am writing them. Its only later when I have gotten to the end that these chapters are combined into a single file. Why? The same reason it feels easier to swim seven sets of ten laps, than to swim a mile. Breaking it up into pieces makes it seem more achievable. The other benefit in writing? It creates a sense that each piece must stand on its own.

[*] Embrace what the strategist and theorist John Boyd called the draw-down period. Take a break right before you start. To think, to reflect, to doubt.

[*] On being a writer: All the days of his life he should be reading as faithfully as his partaking of food; reading, watching, listening. John Fante

[*] Dont get caught up with pesky details. When I am writing a draft, I try not to be concerned with exact dates, facts or figures. If I remember that a study conducted by INSERT UNIVERSITY found that XX% of businesses fail in the first FIVE/SIX? months, thats what I write (exactly like that). If I am writing that on June XX, 19XX Ronald Reagan gave his famous Tear Down This Wall speech in Berlin in front of XX,XXX people, thats how its going to look. Momentum is the most important thing in writing, so Ill fill the details in later. I just need to get the sentences down first. “Get through a draft as quickly as possible.” is how Joshua Wolf Shenk put it.

[*] Raymond Chandler had a trick of using small pieces of paper so he would never be afraid to start over. Also with only 12-15 lines per page, it forced economy of thought and actionwhich is why his stuff is so readable.

[*] In The Artists Way, Julia Cameron reminds us that our morning pages and our journaling dont count as writing. Just as walking doesnt count as exercise, this is just priming the pumpits a meditative experience. Make sure you treat it as such.

[*] Steven Pressfield said that he used to save each one of his manuscripts on a disk that hed keep in the glovebox of his car. Robert Greene told me he sometimes puts a copy of his manuscript in the trunk of his car just in case. I bought a fireproof gun safe and keep my stuff in therejust in case.

[*] My editor Niki Papadopoulos at Penguin: Its not what a book is. Its what a book does.

[*] While you are writing, read things totally unrelated to what youre writing. Youll be amazed at the totally unexpected connections youll make or strange things youll discover. As Shelby Foote put it in an interview with The Paris Review: I cant begin to tell you the things I discovered while I was looking for something else.

[*] Writing requires what Cal Newport calls deep workperiods of long, uninterrupted focus and creativity. If you dont give yourself enough of this time, your work suffers. He recommends recording your deep work time each dayso you actually know if youre budgeting properly.

[*] Software does not make you a better writer. Fuck Evernote. Fuck Scrivner. You dont need to get fancy. If classics were created with quill and ink, youll probably be fine with a Word Document. Or a blank piece of paper. Dont let technology distract you. As Joyce Carol Oates put it in an interview, Every writer has written by hand until relatively recent times. Writing is a consequence of thinking, planning, dreaming this is the process that results in writing, rather than the way in which the writing is recorded.

[*] Talk about the ideas in the work everywhere. Talk about the work itself nowhere. Dont be the person who tweets Im working on my novel. Be too busy writing for that. Helen Simpson has Faire et se taire from Flaubert on a Post-it near her desk, which she translates as Shut up and get on with it.

[*] Why cant you talk about the work? Its not because someone might steal it. Its because the validation you get on social media has a perverse effect. Youll less likely to put in the hard work to complete something that youve already been patted (or patted yourself) on the back for.

[*] When you find yourself stuck with writers block, pick up the phone and call someone smart and talk to them about whatever the specific area youre stuck with is. Not that youre stuck, but about the topic. By the time you put your phone down, youll have plenty to write. (As Seth Godin put it, nobody gets talkers block.)

[*] Keep a commonplace book with anecdotes, stories and quotes you can always usefrom inspiration to directly using in your writing. And these can be anything. H.L. Mencken for example, would methodically fill a notebook with incidents, recording scraps of dialogue and slang, columns from the New York Sun.

[*] As you write down quotes and observations in your commonplace book, make sure to do it by hand. As Raymond Chandler wrote, when you have to use your energy to put words down, you are more apt to make them count.

[*] Elizabeth Gilbert has a good trick for cutting: As you go along, Ask yourself if this sentence, paragraph, or chapter truly furthers the narrative. If not, chuck it. And as Stephen King famously put it, kill your darlings, kill your darlings, even when it breaks your egocentric little scribblers heart, kill your darlings.

[*] Strenuous exercise everyday. For me, and for a lot of other writers, its running. Novelist Don DeLillo told The Paris Review how after writing for four hours, he goes running to shake off one world and enter another. Joyce Carol Oates, in her ode to running, said that the twin activities of running and writing keep the writer reasonably sane and with the hope, however illusory and temporary, of control.

[*] Ask yourself these four questions from George Orwell: What am I trying to say? What words will express it? What image or idiom will make it clearer? Is this image fresh enough to have an effect? Then finish with these final two questions: Could I put it more shortly? Have I said anything that is avoidably ugly?

[*] As a writer you need to make use of everything that happens around you and use it as material. Make use of Seinfelds question: Im never not working on material. Every second of my existence, I am thinking, Can I do something with that?

[*] Airplanes with no wifi are a great place to write and even better for editing. Because there is nowhere to go and nothing else to do.

[*] Print and put a couple of important quotes up on the wall to help guide you (either generally, or for a specific project). Heres a quote from a scholar describing why Ciceros speeches were so effective which I put on my wall while I was writing my first book. At his best [Cicero] offered a sustained interest, a constant variety, a consummate blend of humour and pathos, of narrative and argument, of description and declamation; while every part is subordinated to the purpose of the whole, and combines, despite its intricacy of detail, to form a dramatic and coherent unit. (emphasis mine)

[*] Focus on what youre saying, worry less about how. As William March wrote in The Bad Seed, A great novelist with something to say has no concern with style or oddity of presentation.

[*] A little trick I came up with. After every day of work, I save my manuscript as a new file (for example: EgoIsTheEnemy2-26.docx) which is saved on my computer and in Dropbox (before Dropbox, I just emailed it to myself). This way I keep a running record of the evolution of book. It comforts me that I can always go back if I mess something up or if I have to turn back around.

[*] Famous ad-man David Ogilvy put it bluntly: Use short words, short sentences and short paragraphs.

[*] Envision who you are writing this for. Like really picture them. Dont go off in a cave and do this solely for yourself. As Kurt Vonnegut put it in his interview with The Paris Review: …every successful creative person creates with an audience of one in mind. Thats the secret of artistic unity. Anybody can achieve it, if he or she will make something with only one person in mind.

[*] Do not chase exotic locations to do some writing. Budd Schulbergs novel The Disenchanted about his time with F. Scott Fitzgerald expresses the dangers well: It was a time everyone was pressing wonderful houses on us. I have a perfectly marvelous house for you to write in, theyd say. Of course no one needs marvelous houses to write in. I still knew that much. All you needed was one room. But somehow the next house always beckoned.”

[*] True enough, though John Fante said that when you get stuck writing, hit the road.

[*] Commitments (at the micro-level) are important too. An article a week? An article a month? A book a year? A script every six weeks? Pick something, but commit to itpublicly or contractually. Quantity produces quality, as Ray Bradbury put it.

[*] Dont ever write anything you dont like yourself and if you do like it, dont take anyones advice about changing it. They just dont know. Raymond Chandler

[*] Neil Strauss and Tucker Max gave me another helpful iteration of that idea (which I later learned is from Neil Gaiman): When someone tells you something is wrong with your writing, theyre usually right. When they tell you how to fix it, theyre almost always wrong.

[*] Ogilvy had another good rule: Never use jargon words like reconceptualize, demassification, attitudinally, judgmentally. They are hallmarks of a pretentious ass.

[*] Print out the work and edit it by hand as often as possible. It gives you the readers point of view.

[*] Hemingway advised fellow writer Thomas Wolfe to break off work when you ‘are going good.’Then you can rest easily and on the next day easily resume. Brian Koppelman (Rounders, Billions) has referred to this as stopping on wet edge. It staves off the despair the next day.

[*] Keep the momentum: Never stop when you are stuck. You may not be able to solve the problem, but turn aside and write something else. Do not stop altogether. Jeanette Winterson

That taps me out for now. But every time I read I compile a few more notecards. Ill update you when Ive got another round to share.

In the meantime, stop reading stuff on the internet and get back to writing!

But if you have a second…share your own tips below.

Read more: http://thoughtcatalog.com/

[mengskuniverse]

Traces

ACT 1

Last Fall

He sat there on a bench in the cold morning air, nursing a cup of hot coffee. The park was surreal in the morning like it was from another world and how everything that any body did has a curtain mysticism that tugs on a chord deep inside you.

He lift the coffee to his fair face to fight off the cold and though it did little to fend it off, it comforted him none the less. It reminded him of warm hands that used to keep him warm. Of hands that fend of the cold and intertwines perfectly in between his fingers. Of vague figures in his head that he cant piece together. Of people from a past life that refuses to be forgotten. All of this kept him warm.

He sat there for an hour until a unknown feeling deep inside told him to go home, that he's waiting for nothing. But he told himself "just another hour". So he sat there, his coffee now cold from the morning air.

Then the tugging in his inner chords rang louder, telling him to go home. This time, he followed. He took a cigarette from his pocket, then a lighter. He cupped his hand and lit the cigarette, took a long puff and stood up. Leaves crushing beneath his feet, he leaves.

Volition

The walls reek of cigarettes and paint. Though the smell of moving boxes over powered it temporarily. Erick was in the middle of the clutter, sorting his clothes from books. Beside him is his phone and a Bluetooth speaker. It was playing Lua by Bright Eyes, the tempo set his speed as he sort the stuff into the boxes. He never realized how much stuff he had and how much clutter he accumulated over the years. Small trinkets from events, sample prints for posters he designed and random key chains as souvenirs that friends brought home. Some of them went to a separate box except for a chosen few.

In the middle of his packing a knock on the door came. "It's open" Erick said. A girl in her mid 20s came into the room, long hair, black rimmed glasses that framed her face perfectly and a black shirt that says "Pessimism".

"Malcom couldn't make it. He said he had to band practice." said the girl.

"It's so like him to ditch me, even for the last time." said Erick as he lowered the volume on the speakers. "Well atleast I have you to help me Yan."

"I'm only here for the free coffee you promised." She looked around the room and grabbed a marker, looked inside one of the boxes and labeled it "Shirts". "You don't have a lot of stuff do you?"

"Well graphic design doesn't pay well." said Erick. "Plus most of my money goes to a freakin Creative Suites account since the ad council has been strict with pirated softwares."

"That doesn't seem to stop you from buying cigarettes and coffee." Yan said as she taped some of the boxes. She proceed to another box and checked the inside of it. It was filled with art books and a paper that had an address on it. "Do you really want to go to New York?"

"Mom has always bugged me on moving there for so long. Might as well put my dual citizenship to good use right?" said Erick. "That and a couple of other reasons."

"Couple of reasons?"

"I'm not leaving just because of that, ok?"

"Well it did contribute the most. Didn't it?"

"Can we not get into right now?" Erick lit a cigarette. Yan went over to him and took the cigarette before he could puff another. She look a puff and sat in front of Erick. Erick took another and lit it up. "This is called running away." said Yan.

"No. This is called forgetting." said Erick before taking a puff.

"I've known you for so long, you're not one to forget." Yan stood up and returned to the boxes.

Erick blew a long smoke and whispered under his voice "I can try."

Yan's phone suddenly ran. Her ring tone was the bass riff of Seven Nation Army by  The white stripes. She had a different ringtone for each person. "Yan, Malcom's calling." said Erick as he picked up his own phone. He changed the song to Seven Nation Army.

"Zup ditcher? Having fun not packing boxes?" said Yan as she put Malcom on speaker. "Can totally feel your fun all the way here. Listen I'll make it up to you tonight, come over to the QX, Tracy called us up for a gig. Booze's on me."

"I rather have coffee man." said Erick without looking up from the boxes. "I'll bring a bottle of Bailey's if that'll get you to come out." said Malcom from the speakers. "Fuck." he whispered. "Fine, I'm in." "Awesome, see you there." Said Malcom. Before Yan pressed the red button on her phone, "And Yan, don't bring Joshua, he's an asshole, bye." Then the call got cut off.

"You're still dating him?" said Erick. Yan sighed and took a long puff as he took Erick's phone. "Well, we got back together. Malcom was so busy with his band and you're always zoned out since 'that' happened. Needed someone to talk to." Yan scrolled through Erick's playlist and changed it a Gising by Autotelic.

"But he's such a prick. So clean and organized. He's practically the complete opposite of me."

"That's the point." There was a long awkward silence.

They continued to pack with the music on the background. Suddenly it stopped. They didn't bother to check why it stopped. They continued in silence. The silence was unsettling especially on the 30th floor where the noise of the street below doesn't reach them. Just the sound of the wind and the occasional plane flying by.

Then in the middle of the silence, Yan started humming a familiar tune. A tune they both knew. It started slow with a single note dragging a few seconds then a few melodies entered. Erick stood up and lit a cigarette. Walked to the corner of the room where a digital piano lay on the floor. Yan didn't notice this so it took her by surprise when his fingers caressed the first note. She stopped for a moment and smiled and continued humming. And as the melody continues its crescendo, Yan started to sing:

We saw them coming from miles away, With hearts on their faces and minds out of place. So don’t give me a reason to stay To be fooled by them and take my mind away Because only in your heart, my mind is at bay.

Erick entered:

Steal your heart dear, I know you're at bay For I am a fool for letting you stay When the winds wants you what more can I say But to look down on my feet and walk away

Erick stopped playing. "We should really finish writing that song." said Yan. "I rather not." said Erick before continuing packing.