#BUT ANYWAY. I ACTUALLY LIKE THIS LIKE WOW

[mydearzero]

The Babysitter | Robert 'Bob' Reynolds x fem!Reader

Summary: You didn’t have any superpowers, nor were you even qualified for the position, yet somehow a mishap between Alexei and Yelena ends up in getting you a new job. Bob-sitter. 

Contents: No Y/N, fem!reader, college student!reader, no warnings apply for this chapter.

A/N: Wow chapter 2 only one day later? Crazy! I already promise that's not a rate I'll keep up, lmao.

Read it on AO3 Chapter 1

Chapter 2 - Keep Him Happy

1.5K words

So, Bob was not, in fact, a child. He was a grown man who seemed perfectly capable of taking care of himself. His face was somewhat youthful, so you weren’t sure exactly how old he was, but you’d wager it was older than you. 

“Why is it exactly that you need a babysitter?” You asked directly. No use beating around the bush. You ignored the whole flashback memory thing, guessing you’d be enlightened with the details when the rest of the team came back. It wasn’t exactly a fond experience. 

“Well, I wouldn’t say babysitter… It’s just, uh… best to not leave me to my own devices, I guess,” he shrugged. You nodded awkwardly, not sure what to make of the situation. The promised pay was good, you wouldn’t actually have to take care of him, just keep him company. It didn’t seem like a bad deal. 

But even then, he was obviously unstable. Maybe what he needed was a mental health professional, not a ‘babysitter.’ You were probably just a temporary solution. 

You sat in an awkward silence for a while, sipping your drink every now and then trying to think of a lighthearted topic to entertain him with. “So… Tell me about yourself, Bob.” 

“Well, I’m… Bob. Short for, uh, Robert, as you might’ve guessed,” Bob nodded. You sighed inwardly, this was going to be tougher than you expected. Children were usually a lot easier, willing to tell you all of their and their parent’s business. Cats were even better, no need for talking. Bob was going to take some work. 

“How’d you end up here, with these people, I mean?” You wondered. He seemed normal enough, but obviously the ‘New Avengers’ cared about him enough to try and keep him out of harm's way and around their building. 

“It’s kind of a funny story, really. One second I’m in Malaysia in some lab for a medical study, the next I wake up in this bunker with these guys trying to kill each other…” 

You squint your eyes in question. “That is… Funny?” 

“Yeah now that I’m putting it like that it doesn’t sound very funny, does it?” Bob chuckled. It seemingly broke some of the tension. He asked you a few questions about yourself and your contact with Alexei. 

“He seems very sweet,” you concluded. Bob agreed, letting you know the man definitely had his heart in the right place, though sometimes a bit overenthusiastic. 

He told you about the rest of the team, and you noticed he was inconspicuously perceptive. He went one by one, wasting time by talking about the people surrounding him most days. 

“Yelena looks really tough, and she is! But she’s really a big softie,” Bob spoke of her very fondly, a twinkle of adoration in his eyes. 

“Ava’s a bit of a tough nut to crack, but she has a really good sense of humour. She’s a bit more reserved, but really has your back when you need her. She’ll deny it, though.” 

You poured yourself another glass of soda, offering Bob one as well. He declined but thanked you for the offer to a degree which dazed you. You took a mental note of the skittish demeanour. 

“John’s an asshole. Can’t really put it anyway else. He’s here, he’ll show up for the others, but… I can’t really say I’ve come to like him like the others. I’d put it as toloration. I mean he has a history… But who doesn’t? Doesn’t give him the right to be a douche, you know?” He obviously had a strong sense of righteousness, and John did not fit into that picture. 

“And lastly there’s Bucky, but I’m sure you know about him. Congressman and such. He’s not around here much. He tries to be, but I feel like he’s still a bit wary of the team. Part of me thinks he just doesn’t want to get attached, which I can understand, given his past…” Bob looked out the window, seemingly lost in a deep thought. His eyes glazed over and an overwhelming sadness overtook his face. It’d gotten dark in the time you’d been here, the city skyline lit up with artificial lighting. 

“Whatever you do, try to keep him happy, distracted and away from danger.” Yelena’s words echoed in your head. There was likely a good reason for the particular instructions. 

“Well, Bob, thank you for opening up and telling me about them. I feel like we’re likely gonna be spending some more time together, so I really appreciate that you feel safe enough to share,” you smiled, distracting him from his spiralling thoughts. 

Bob smiled before looking a little confused at his own actions. You felt like he might’ve maybe shared a little more than he’d intended. 

You were racking your brain for another topic to talk about when the elevator doors opened once again. Bob deflated, hunching in on himself and making himself visibly smaller. You hadn’t even noticed how his posture had opened up during your conversation.

It was Yelena and Alexei, joking with each other in, was that Russian? They walked in as if they hadn’t just fought off whatever it was that had ransacked the subway and blasted itself into the building. You looked at them expectantly, waiting to finally get an explanation. 

“Ah, right, babysitter. It’s quite late, maybe you should head home?” Yelena suggested, cracking her neck while unloading a few weapons on a side table like she was dropping off her keys after coming home from the office. 

“Was this just a one time thing, or will I be coming back?” You wondered. You could use the money.  

“That depends… Bob? Do you like her?” 

Bob spluttered and gaped at Yelena, unsure of how to answer. “I– I mean, yeah, she’s– She’s nice. I don’t know what you want me to say.” 

“We can find different babysitter if you want. Many more on the app,” Alexei chimed in as he huffed and puffed, trying to get his suit off in the middle of the living room. It looked more like he was doing a form of experimental yoga. 

“No, no. This one’s fine,” Bob winced. You’d really have to come up with a different title than ‘babysitter’ if this was going to become a lasting thing. 

“Good, then she stays. Ava and John are debriefing Bucky. It was just some lowlife with some experimental tech, but man, whatever he was shooting with stung like a b–” 

“Lena, language, we have guest,” Alexei shushed her. Yelena rolled her eyes in response. 

She nodded her head at you, motioning for you to come with her. You shot Bob a quick glance, who gave you a tight lipped smile but seemingly encouraged you to go with her. 

Yelena took you to a smaller separate sitting room and offered you a glass of whiskey, which you refused. “No drinking on the job,” you laughed. 

“So, you’re probably wondering, why does a grown man need a babysitter? Well, I’m gonna explain. But first, what did Bob tell you?” she started, sitting down next to you and leaning on the back of the couch, resting her head in her hand. You mimicked her relaxed posture, putting a leg up on the couch. 

“Not much, really. He told me a bit about you guys and how you met. He mentioned something about a medical study in Malaysia, but other than that nothing too memorable.” 

“Did you happen to shake his hand?” Ah, there it was. Yelena could tell by your expression the answer was yes. 

“Yeah, it happened to us, too. You see, Bob… He’s very strong. Stronger than all of us combined. But he’s not stable. He’s a bit of a grey area in the team. We keep him around because he’s nice, of course, but also because we can’t risk anybody else trying to get on his good side and abusing his trust.” She took a sip of the whiskey, relishing its taste before continuing. 

“We’re still not really sure what his powers are, and it’s also not up to me to disclose all of the information besides the basics. All I can tell you is that we can’t risk taking him into the field, but we also can’t risk leaving him alone for too long. His abilities are closely tied to his mental wellbeing. It sounds a little degrading to describe it this way,” Yelena winced. She evidently had very conflicting feelings on the topic. You understood it must be difficult, wanting to keep him out of harm’s way without babying him. 

“But it’s really a matter of keeping him happy and distracted when it’s necessary. He needs help, a lot of it, but we just haven’t had the time to figure out how to go about it. So for now, this is it. I’m sorry for all the confusion, but with a ‘job’ as unpredictable as ours, this is the reality. Can you handle that?” Her gaze was piercing, as if she was trying to read every single thought crossing your mind. 

“You care about him deeply,” you observed. 

She gave a fond smile. “I do.” 

“Then I think I can handle it. As long as I don’t have to lie to him or beat around the bush, I can do my best to keep him company and help wherever I can. I can’t promise I’ll be perfect, but I’ll try.” 

“That’s all we ask.” 

It was settled, then. You were hired. 

TAGLIST: @jason-todd-fangirl-14 @hopes-peak-akademy @rattheraddestrat @i-shall-abide @puer-aurea @kennywantskfc69 @spectacled-studies @hiddlebatchedloki

[djuvlipen]

and rick riordan wrote about the arranged marriage of a 16yo girl in a positive light because he believes arranged marriages are "unfairly villainized" and he wanted to fight harmful stereotypes about arranged marriages... wow so progressive! arranged early marriage! king!

anyway he took down the article where he was detailing all that but it's on the wayback machine here

also, may i remind everyone that hitler is canonically a demigod in pjo? (rr later backtracked when he got backlash and then implied the demigod was actually one of the other axis leaders, either hirohito or mussolini, as if they were much better.) if jkr had done something like that in hp she would have been cancelled for antisemitism, racism and the likes, but rr gets a pass? what kind of double standard is this?

and how much money has rick riordan contributed to human rights causes anyway?

[georgeclarkeys]

tiktok trend series - george clarkey x reader

summary: you make george's friends be mean to you for a tiktok trend - 800 words

hi friends!! this is the first installment in my new tiktok trend series about your fav uk youtubers and your fav tiktok trends!! please please please send me any ideas you might have for this, especially a trend or a person you would like to see featured!!

~

Scrolling through TikTok was beginning to find a permanent spot in your nighttime routine. It had been several years since your account blew up, so you convinced yourself that you were doing research for new video ideas every time you spent an hour or so watching before bed. One recent trend was definitely piquing your interest, and with the help of your boyfriend's friends, you were confident that you could pull it off. Creators were staging a “who’s most likely to” game with someone close to their significant other, and asking the other person to be mean to them in order to catch their partner's reaction. You had the perfect idea, and were planning on getting a great reaction out of George.

~

It was an unusual evening at Casa Clarke-Dixon-Hill. All three roommates were home, and no one was streaming or working, so you managed to round them up and convince them to film a TikTok with you. You had talked to Arthur and Chris beforehand, letting them in on the prank and giving them permission to be as mean as they could, but George was clueless. 

You placed your phone on the tripod and sat in a row, with Chris and Arthur on either side of you, and George standing behind looking curious. 

Pressing record, you smiled, “Hey friends! Today I am joined by George, Arthur, and Chris, and we’re going to be playing a game of “who’s most likely to” where all of the answers are decided by George!” 

All three of the boys let out a small cheer.

“Alright, George, who has the best voice?”

“Oh wow, starting off with a difficult one are we?” he laughed, “Obviously my singer friend Arthur.” 

Arthur pumped his fist and cheered, “Yes! I’m just glad you didn’t say (Y/N), she sounds about like nails on a chalkboard.”

You saw George make a bit of a face in the camera before saying, “(Y/N) has a lovely voice.”

Ignoring the comment from Arthur, you continued, “Okay next, who is the smartest?”

George’s eyes bounced between the three of you in deep thought before calling out, “(Y/N).”

You turned around to smile at him, while Arthur and Chris shook their heads. George was suspiciously eyeing both of them as they looked at each other. Chris leaned past you to say to Arthur, “there is absolutely no way he actually thinks she’s smarter than either of us, right? She’s a TikToker for crying out loud.”

Arthur laughed and answered, “I thought he was joking to be honest.”

Your boyfriend was not laughing, he eyed the camera warily before putting on an exaggerated confused face in an attempt to ease the tension, “is this a who’s most likely to quiz, or an everyone bully George’s beautiful girlfriend quiz?”

You laughed awkwardly, doing your best to play into the uncomfortable atmosphere that was rapidly growing. 

“Anyways, who’s the meanest?”

George does not even hesitate before answering, “Chris.”

Chris’s head turns around, eyes wide with shock, “you’re actually joking.”

“I would have said (Y/N),” Arthur mumbled, loud enough to hear.

“I would have said (Y/N) too!” Chris exclaimed, “she’s so unnecessarily rude all the time!”

You sat back with wide eyes and listened to the chaos unfold, watching George’s face grow red as his flatmates continued ripping into you.

“What the hell is going on!” he snapped, looking back and forth between his two friends, “Why are both of you being such dickheads to (Y/N)? Don’t talk about her like that.” He grabbed your hand to pull you up from your seat, “C’mon babe, delete that video. Let’s go film something else for you to post.”

Before he could grab your phone you decided it was time to give yourself up, “it’s a joke! It’s a trend!” 

He turned back to look at you, “what?”

“I put them up to it. I told them to be mean to me.”

“Well that’s a fucking relief,” he laughed and put a hand over his heart, “I thought I was going to have to move out, oh my days.” 

~

By the end of the day the video had over a million views, and a comment section filled with women thirsting over your boyfriend.

comments

user1: okay but why is george so sexy when he’s mad…

georgeclarkeey: This is something I would expect from Chris, but Arthur threw me off

user2: yes george defend your gf 😫

arthurhill69: i am so sorry queen (y/n) i love you

user3: (y/n) where did you find this man he’s perfect

user4: where’s the green flag guy

[mintedwitcher]

WIP Wednesday

I was tagged by @jamieroyjamieroy ❤️ thanks for the tag!!! using this as an opportunity to share another snippet of my 'Buck leaves the 118' fic

(since I have a tag list for this fic, I'll leave the WIP Wednesday tags open to anyone who wants to participate!)

=========

“You never told me which house you were transferring to.”

“Oh, the 136,” Buck says. Tommy hums in that way of his, the one that means he’s surprised by something. “What?”

“My buddy, Sal,” Tommy says. “He’s a captain at the 136.”

“Deluca?” Buck asks, and Tommy nods. Buck snorts. “He’s my new captain.”

“Good,” Tommy says. “You two can keep an eye on each other for me.”

“Yeah?” Buck asks. Tommy hums again.

“Sal was a bit of a hothead, back in the day,” Tommy says. “Especially when Bobby joined up. Sal gave him all sorts of crap. Testing the waters, mostly. We’d had six floaters by that point. I think we were all just kind of… on edge. And Bobby was so confident. Sal didn’t like that. Rubbed him the wrong way, I guess. They butted heads a lot. Eventually, Sal took it too far. Bobby kicked him out. We were all kinda shocked by that.”

Buck tries to picture it. He doesn’t need to try too hard. He still remembers his probie year, as vague as the memory is now.

“Anyway, putting his foot down with Sal is what got Hen and Howie on board with Bobby as the captain,” Tommy continues, his hand rubbing soothingly against Buck’s stomach. “We used to go for drinks after shift, sometimes, and we invited Bobby along. I was surprised he actually showed up. But we got to talking about Sal, and what went down. And Bobby told us that Sal wasn’t fired, just suspended, pending transfer.”

“Wow,” Buck says. Tommy hums again, and squeezes Buck tighter for a second.

“Bobby knew Sal was good at his job,” Tommy says. “He just knew that they wouldn’t work well together. So he gave him a shot in a different house, and now look at him.”

“Now I’m nervous,” Buck says, only half joking. Tommy chuckles quietly.

“Don’t be,” he says. “You’re damn good at your job, and you know how to work as part of a team. Sal will respect that.”

“And there’s no way I can get you to give me any intel to get on his good side, is there?” Buck asks. Tommy laughs.

“Nope, sorry,” Tommy says, unapologetically. “You’ll just have to win him over with that good ole Buckley charm.”

“Damn,” Buck mutters, but he’s smiling. Tommy kisses his shoulder.

“So, how are you feeling?” Tommy asks. Buck nods.

“Better,” he says. He grabs Tommy’s hand and twines their fingers together. “Thank you. How is it that you always seem to know just what I need?”

“Oh, it’s entirely selfish,” Tommy says. “I like being the one to give you what you need.”

A long-forgotten heat stirs in Buck’s belly at his words. Buck can’t help but shiver against him.

“You always do,” Buck says. He takes a deep breath, sighing heavily on the exhale.

“Evan…” Tommy starts, hesitant. Buck waits him out. Waits for him to choose his words with consideration, just like always. He feels the tension in Tommy’s body, pressed against his, before he speaks again. “Evan, I need something from you, too.”

“What do you need?” Buck asks, immediately. He tries to fight off the echo of a fight weeks past, grounding himself in the here and now. He squeezes Tommy’s hand. “Tell me. Please.”

==============

tag list:

@littlepaws9 @tyrusshipper12 @loulou-land @dashing-disaster @kinardstits

@samjohnssonvt @magdalyna @sweaters-and-silly @safelycapricious @onceuponatmi

@hubcaphalo @letsdosciencetoit @ladyeyrewrites @cm1031sr @sunsetandevningstar

@marsflower @buckitweride @joyfullyhauntedmiracle @gayjaytodd @agentpeggycartering

@darkjediqueen @avnasace @lostintheuniverseslies @breadread101 @whentheresidentsareevil

@athenap47 @cheesycottagecheese @youreademonroyce @eliotwaughdeservesbetter @dearqueend

@paperyowl

[fvckw4d]

#I still remember the genetic congress I went while I was making by bacharel in biology#at a lecture about a work on medicine for ELA I think in english it would ALS????#anyway amyotrophic latetal sclerosis#and there was some talk about the hardship of moving the tests of the medicine towards humans#and someone in the audience actually suggested 'we should use prisioners' and SPOKE TO THE LECTURER#and this has been years and I was very much WHAT but I'm pretty sure THE LECTURER AGREED#medical tests on prisoners are forbidden for a reason#they're a vulnerable population with a risk of agreeing to things just because it promises to take them out of prison#without being fully informed of the possible consequences - gabriellerudessa

(great tags thank you 👍 if I say "you" from here on I mean "general you")

They are also vulnerable because they're so poor. Prisoners can literally earn pennies for their labor, or nothing at all. Most people assume this isn't a problem because "where would they spend the money" but apart from meaning they are often released into poverty, prisons expect prisoners to buy basically everything from soap to phone calls with their families. Some prisons charge prisoners for access to books and other education or entertainment.

And there's of course motivation to buy drugs and other contraband, much of which is just basic stuff you or I can access easily. Plus would you want to be sober in prison even if you weren't an addict? What if you had untreated withdrawals?

Anyway, this is what lead to Arkansas prisons, which to this day do not pay prisoners for labor, targeting prisoners for blood donation in the 70s. Human blood is one of the top 10 American exports and no country ever has enough so it's an extremely profitable business, more profitable per unit than oil.

The blood collection in these prisons was incentivized to cut costs and get as much blood as possible for the bottom line and prisoners of course are not treated as human, so it lead to a lot of sick prisoners having too much blood taken and a lot of needle sharing. It ended with basically everyone in the program getting hepatitis and AIDS. And since we exported that blood to other countries, it lead to thousands of people in Canada, Europe and Asia getting hepatitis and AIDS as well.

This is the consequences of treating prisoners as infinitely exploitable resources - we give a bunch of them and a bunch of other countries fucking AIDS. If you think the consequences of experimenting on them - both scientifically and with all the stuff goverments and corporations are thinking about doing to the general population, like invasions of privacy or monetizing basic needs - won't lead to shit like this, guess fucking again.

Sooooo few people are actually willing to defend the basic human rights of people who have committed crimes. Like I know it's not fun but if you genuinely believe in human rights as a concept you can't be okay with the state violating them in prisons I'm sorrrrry. Having moral principles is not always a fun time.

[viastro]

i wanna know you | boo seungkwan

ミ★ synopsis: everyone has a dream. to seungkwan, volleyball had been everything to him, and almost everyone in high school knew that—especially you. so why was it so strange to see him years later working towards anything but that?

ミ★ genre: strangers(?) to kinda lovers!au, unrequited love!au (in hs!), coach!seungkwan, teacher!reader, humor, fluff, some angst

ミ★ warnings: sexual innuendos (very brief), so much cursing (i'm sorry), one kms joke (from beomgyu)

ミ★ word count: 18,653 (i need to be put down)

ミ★ pairings: seungkwan x gender neutral reader

ミ★ notes: heyyyy... it's been a very long time. i know. i'm so sorry. i'm going straight to hell, i know. tldr - i graduated undergrad in 2023, got a full-time job 2023-2024, and then i started my first year of grad school in sept. of 2024!! wow!!! this fic has been in the works since like... end of 2023 prolly... i suddenly got a burst of wanting to write so that's how i finally was able to finish this fic ?? crazy. anyways, i hope you guys will enjoy this fic that took me actual years to finish <3 please give seungkwan lots and lots of love :3

You tiredly stumble into the convenience store, having just finished your last eight hour shift at the school before spring break. Typically, you would’ve gone straight home after work, but you had a craving.

A craving that could only be fulfilled at the convenience store.

You walk straight to the ramen aisle and grab the shin ramyun off the shelf, before heading to the freezer to grab a cup of ice and a bag of tea. A little smile forms on your face at the image of you eating your favorite ramen in a few minutes, and you hurry to the cash register to speed up the process.

Placing the cup of ramen onto the counter and the drink you got, you glance down at your bag and prepare to pull out your wallet when the cashier speaks.

“That’ll be $8.”

You blink at the familiarity of the voice, and slowly lift your gaze until you lock eyes with a familiar pair.

“Boo Seungkwan?” You murmur in surprise, and the blonde blinks at the sudden mention of his name.

He tilts his head and points at himself, “Me?”

“Well, I’m not Boo Seungkwan.” You respond, to which he bites the inside of his cheek in embarrassment. You tap your card on the reader, hearing the familiar ding that signals your payment went through. You slip your card back into your wallet, feeling your cheeks flood with warmth at the awkward silence that has fallen over the two of you.

Curse my dumbass mouth, you think to yourself.

“Here’s your receipt.” Seungkwan says, holding out the piece of paper with a curious look on his face. You give him a tight smile and bow your head in thanks, taking the receipt from his grasp and turning to practically sprint out of the store.

It’s when you’re about to rest your hand on the handle of the door that his voice rings out from behind you,

“Do you know me from somewhere?”

You shut your eyes tightly, wishing that you could just act like you didn’t hear him. Except you can’t, because you practically froze when he asked you the question. Letting out a breath, you slowly turn to face him with a small, albeit strained smile.

“We were in the same graduating class in high school. You were class president of our class, and the captain of our school’s volleyball team.” You explain, the sound of your heartbeat becoming more apparent at how mortified you are at this interaction. The blonde stares at you for a moment, before his eyes flash in recognition.

“Yn Yln, right? You were always in the Top 3 for exam scores.” Seungkwan says, and your eyes widen at the fact that he even knows your name.

You were always quiet in school, not really stepping out of your comfort zone until your undergraduate years. Your high school graduating class only knew your name because of your high exam scores, but your face? Not so much.

You’re pretty sure everyone only found out what you looked like when your name was called during graduation.

“Yeah, that’s me.” You respond with a smile, and the blonde grins softly. Biting the inside of your cheek, you lift up the unopened shin ramyun, and with a sudden wave of courage you ask, “If you’re able to, do you want to join me outside for late night ramen?”

Seungkwan blinks in surprise at the invitation, glancing at the time to see that he’ll be off shift soon. He looks back up at you and nods his head, “I’ll be off work in 10 minutes.”

You let out a quiet breath of relief and give him a thumbs up, “I’ll prepare my ramen then.”

You sip on your iced tea, staring out at a flickering lamp post down the street as the city life starts to dwindle down. You take note of the different types of people who walk past the convenience store. There are office workers who just got off shift and are walking back home, college students stumbling through the streets after a fun night out, and some younger students who just got out of cram school.

You always wondered which group Seungkwan was part of after graduating high school.

“I got some extra sausage. I feel like you should always pair ramen with some protein.” His voice rings out, startling you from your thoughts.

A smile makes its way onto your face when you see the plate of sausage, looking up when he sits across from you. He lets out a breath, shivering slightly from the brisk night air as he breaks apart his chopsticks.

“Thank you.” You murmur, and the blonde waves his hand at you as if to say, no biggie.

Biting your bottom lip, you break apart your chopsticks and remove the lid of your ramen, practically salivating at the sight of the spicy noodles. The two of you start to dig into your ramen without another word, showing how hungry you both must have been as you each eat in silence.

It’s only when you reach out and take a sausage that you manage to glance at Seungkwan, noticing the dark bags under his eyes. You place the sausage into your mouth, looking back down at your ramen as questions start to arise in your mind.

Where did you go to college? What have you been up to? What are you doing working the night shift at a convenience store?

What happened to your volleyball scholarship?

“Are you a teacher now?” Seungkwan asks suddenly, startling you out of your thoughts once again. You look up from your noodles to see the blonde looking at you with a curious gaze, and you tilt your head at him, “Oh? How’d you know?”

“You’re still wearing your lanyard.” He tells you with a smile, and you look down to see your smiling face looking back at you. You let out an awkward chuckle and take off your lanyard, placing it onto the table. “I work at a private school right now. I’m a first grade teacher.”

“That’s super cool! I bet it’s hard work too.” Seungkwan tells you with a grin, and you nod your head while letting out a whistle. “You can say that again. Sometimes they can all be such little shits and it drives me insane, but I also love them all dearly. Is that crazy? Is this a toxic relationship?”

“I think those are valid feelings to have when working with children.” He says, and you smile softly.

“What about you? What have you been up to since high school?” You ask, and the blonde just shrugs his shoulders as he nonchalantly replies, “Graduated from SNU and now I’m working two jobs in order to pay off the student loan.”

“Oh yeah? What’s your other job?” You ask, not ignoring the fact that he strategically didn’t mention his volleyball scholarship.

“I’m the volleyball coach for our old high school. Our old coach retired after I got into college, so the principal hired me immediately once I graduated.” Seungkwan explains, and you nod your head, now understanding the dark bags under his eyes.

Slurping up a noodle, you ask, “You didn’t want to join the National Volleyball Team after you graduated?”

Seungkwan freezes at the question, and when you don’t hear him respond, you slowly look up to see him staring down at his ramen with a faraway look to his eye.

Oh no. I shouldn’t have asked.

“It… seemed like too much pressure. I thought it’d be better to just be a coach, that way I’m still part of the sport.” Seungkwan says carefully, and you bite the inside of your cheek at his answer.

He’s not telling the full truth.

“That makes sense. Does that mean your school is also starting Spring break?” You ask, choosing to ignore your curiosity as you slurp up the last of your noodles.

The blonde nods his head, halving the last sausage so that you both can have a piece. “Yeah, I was planning to pick up extra shifts from the convenience store so that I can make some extra money.”

You purse your lips when a thought comes to mind. It’s an impulsive thought, if you will. A thought that’s always been like a faraway dream to you since high school, one that’s never been within reach.

Until now.

You suck in a breath in an attempt to gather the courage that took over you earlier.

“I don’t really have any special plans for Spring break. I was thinking of just going with the flow, but do you want to hang out during our week off?” You ask in a quiet voice, already wincing at the thought of incoming rejection from the pretty boy. Silence falls over the two of you, and you’re too scared to look up to see his reaction, so you continue to have a staring contest with your empty cup of ramen.

“Why?” Seungkwan asks softly after a moment, a question you weren’t prepared to answer. Trying to act nonchalant, you shrug your shoulders while turning your attention to the flickering convenience store sign.

Your heart is racing within your chest as you answer truthfully, “I want to get to know you.”

Seungkwan stares at you for a moment, but you continue to avoid eye contact as you stare down at the table. The blonde lets out a breath after a moment, and holds his hand out towards you. Your eyes trail up towards his hand, before finally looking up at his face.

“Let’s exchange numbers.” He says, and you almost exhale a breath of relief. A small grin makes its way onto your face and you nod your head, pulling out your phone and placing it in his hand. You watch quietly as wisps of his blonde hair flow along with the gentle breeze, and you fight the urge to reach out and pat them down into place.

He looks up at you after hearing the notification from his phone, and he hands you back your phone. A small smile escapes you when you see the tangerine emoji in his contact name, “You’re from Jeju, right?”

“Did the tangerine make it obvious?” Seungkwan asks with a grin as he takes a bite of the sausage. You shrug your shoulders with a teasing smile, “Maybe a little bit.”

The two of you chuckle, before continuing to eat your late night meal. The full moon shines down onto you both as you fill each other in on what’s been going on since high school graduation. Quiet laughter and conversation fill the silence on the first night of Spring break, a night that feels like a small beginning, something neither of you expected.

“Boo Seungkwan! You killed it at last night’s game. Are the college scouts coming to the next one?” You glance up from your desk to see a group of boys from the other classroom surrounding the class president. Your eyes linger on the bright smile that graces his face when one of them ruffles his hair fondly, feeling your heart thump against your chest at the sight.

“I think so, there were a couple that came last night too. Yonsei University’s scouts talked to Vernon and Mingyu after the game last night.” Seungkwan tells one of the boys, eliciting a chorus of ohh’s from them.

“Isn’t your goal SNU? When is their scout coming?”

“They’re coming to Friday’s game.”

You turn your gaze away when the boys start excitedly rooting for Seungkwan and asking him how he feels about the upcoming game. Glancing down at your journal, you start to write the date and subject of the upcoming lesson at the top of the page to try and distract yourself from the noise around you.

Your pencil freezes at the top when the sound of Seungkwan’s laugh rings in your ear, and you find yourself stealing a glance at the popular boy once again.

He has a big smile on his face and shrugs his shoulders, trying to act nonchalant as he says, “I’m a bit more nervous since this game means a lot more to me, but I’m excited. I’ve been preparing myself for this moment since I was a kid, so you guys better come to cheer me on, alright?”

He’s glowing, you think to yourself as the guys around him let out a chorus of cheers. The sunlight peeking in through the windows casts a warm glow over his face, making his smile look a little bit brighter than usual. His black hair reflects a pretty shade of brown underneath the sun, complimenting the warmth of his skin.

Feeling the corner of your lips quirk upwards, you turn your head and look out the window of the classroom. Your gaze follows the single white cloud in the bright blue sky, and you close your eyes at the feeling of the sun hitting your skin.

You silently root for Seungkwan, hopeful that he’ll perform well at Friday’s volleyball game.

“Yn.”

You keep your eyes closed, wanting to bask in the warmth from the sun a little bit more.

“Yn.”

You refuse to open your eyes, but there’s a frown on your face now, starting to grow a little bit annoyed at the pestering.

“Yn…”

You’re about to open your mouth to tell the person to fuck off, only for them to cut you off with a loud call of your name,

“YN!”

You gasp awake at the shout, turning with wide eyes towards the source of the sound. You let out a little groan when you see your roommate, Beomgyu, glaring at you from your doorway. You reach out to prepare your pillow, “Why are you waking me up so rudely?”

“Cause you told me last night that if you aren’t out of your room by 10:30, to wake you up as rudely as possible.” Beomgyu responds, amusement present in his voice as he watches you struggle to keep your eyes open now that you’re awake.

“I don’t recall the as rude as possible part of that request.”

“I could’ve been a lot meaner by pouring a bucket of ice water on you, but I chose kindness today.” He says, and you fight back the urge to roll your eyes. Letting out another groan, you roll over, your back towards Beomgyu as you grab your pillow. He squints at you, “No way you’re about to fall back asleep after bitching about me waking you–”

Beomgyu’s cut off by you chucking your pillow, making direct contact with his face. He sputters and falls backwards onto his ass, eliciting a cackle out of you. He sits up in shock, pillow in hands as he stares at you with a look of betrayal on his face.

“You bitch bastard.” He says quietly, and you smile.

“Good morning~” You greet warmly, and his eyes widen. He shakes his head, “You cannot act all sweet and like an angel after chucking your pillow at my face! What if I died?! What if I fell onto my head, broke my neck, and DIED?!”

You sit up in bed and stretch your arms over your head, feeling very refreshed after attacking your roommate with your least favorite pillow. Reaching out towards your bedside dresser, you grab your phone and check your notifications.

seungkwan🍊: what time did you want to meet at the beach?

You practically shoot up out of bed at the text, quickly typing out a response as you step over Beomgyu who is still laying on the floor. The brunette turns his head, eyes following you as you hurry towards the bathroom.

“Are you going on a date?!” He shouts out from the floor, and you shoot him a glare as you squeeze toothpaste out onto your toothbrush.

“Fuck off.”

“Please try to dress nice! Don’t dress like you usually do.” Beomgyu calls out as he finally gets up off the floor. You pause at his words, sticking your head out of the bathroom to squint at him as he starts to go through your closet.

“Now what do you mean by that?” You ask, to which the brunette just steps out holding an outfit he quickly prepared for you.

Beomgyu has your white t-shirt and sage jersey jacket in one hand, and your favorite pair of wide jeans in the other. He gestures with his chin towards your white sneakers by the door, “Wear those with this fit.”

You purse your lips, curse you Beomgyu for your good fashion sense.

“Okay.” You state, not wanting to compliment him on anything after his jab at your current fashion sense. However, the smirk on his face says that he knows exactly what you’re thinking. Biting the inside of your cheek, you point your toothbrush towards him, “Shut the fuck up.”

You shut the bathroom door afterwards, letting out a small smile when you hear his loud laughter through the door.

“You know, for some reason, I was really hoping you’d bring a beach towel.” You say as the two of you sit on the hot sand, staring out at the people swimming in the cold ocean water. Seungkwan turns to you, a small smile playing on his features, “I was hoping you’d bring one too. I usually mooch off my friends for their beach towels when we have a rare beach day.”

“Damn. You’re just like me.” You joke, and the blonde lets out a short chuckle with a shake of his head. He pats the sand beside him, “Now we’re both sitting on this hot sand. Absolutely rawdogging it. Sand getting in crevices where the sun doesn't shine.”

You bark out a loud laugh, making Seungkwan laugh alongside you. That wasn’t something you ever expected to hear him say in your life, particularly the word rawdogging has you doubling over in laughter.

His laughter dies down shortly after, but you’re still giggling to yourself as it keeps replaying in your head. You even wipe away a stray tear that fell down your cheek, and you turn to look over at Seungkwan, just to see him already staring at you with a small smile on his face.

You blink in surprise, letting out a slight cough into your elbow and standing up from the hot sand. You try to brush away all the particles of sand on your legs, and Seungkwan looks up at you with a curious gaze.

“Well, we’re at the beach. Shouldn’t we go and swim?” You ask and point over to the glistening water, a mischievous smile on your face. Seungkwan raises an eyebrow at you, “Neither of us are wearing swimsuits.”

You squint, “You’re wearing shorts, and I’m wearing shorts–”

“We’re both wearing jeans.” The blonde deadpans, but you continue while waving him off.

“That’s basically swim attire to me!” You exclaim, and Seungkwan stares at you like you’ve grown two heads. Without waiting for a response, you bend down to fold your jeans up to your knees, and then make a b-line straight for the ocean.

“Yn? Please be serious!” You hear him call out from behind you, but you ignore him, continuing to head towards the ocean with a look of determination.

Is this crazy? Yes. Is it disrespectful to go into the ocean wearing a pair of wide leg jeans? Absolutely.

Are you going to stop?

…

No. You’ve already gone this far, how could you back out now?

“They’re crazy.” Seungkwan murmurs to himself when he sees you make it to the water, and he stands up in shock when you step into the ocean without hesitation. “Oh my God.”

The blonde bites back a laugh when he hears you let out a squeal from the cold water. He watches as you go further into the water, but not far enough for the tides to reach your folded jeans. He’s about to call out for you to come back, only to feel the words die in his throat when you turn to face him.

The sun is glistening over the ocean, causing the waves to sparkle as they crash ashore. Your hand is raised up to shield your eyes from the bright sun, and there’s wisps of unruly hair blowing all over your face from the wind. The folded part of your jeans are beginning to get wet and you’re struggling to keep your balance, but there’s a big smile on your face as you call out to the blonde.

“Seungkwan! Come join me!”

The blonde blinks, as if pulled from a trance, eyes still fixed on you as you wade deeper into the water. He doesn't move at first—just watches as you try to keep your balance amidst the waves. He takes note of the way your laughter carries over the wind, the way the sun lights up your face despite the strands of hair whipping wildly around it.

For a moment, he doesn’t answer, unsure whether to interrupt the stillness he’s caught in. Then you start waving again, more animated this time, and he shakes his head, no, at you. A small smile tugs at his lips when you let out an exaggerated sigh, before he braces himself, because the cheeky smile on your face tells him that you’re definitely up to something. He wonders what mischievous thought you have stirring up in your head when you suddenly call out:

“Don’t be a pussy!”

Seungkwan’s jaw drops at the vulgarity of your statement.

He can admit that he may be a lot of things! To list a few: loud, slightly sensitive, perhaps even a little bit… silly.

But Seungkwan is not a pussy.

“Hurry up! Live a little!” You shout towards him, and he presses his lips into a thin line. You watch in delight as he starts muttering to himself, bending down to roll up his jeans and slip off his shoes before walking over to you.

“I can’t believe you’re making me go into the water fully clothed.” Seungkwan grumbles when he’s now standing in front of you, arms crossed as the water barely touches his ankles. You tilt your head with a sly smile, “You could’ve said no, you know? You have free will.”

“You called me a pussy! I practically had no choice in the matter.” He whisper-shouts, eliciting a chuckle out of you. Pursing your lips, you reach your hand out for him to grab, and he glances down at it with a frown.

He looks back up at you, “What?”

“Hold my hand. You’re barely in the water, you should at least get the bottom of your jeans wet.” You explain with a wave of your hand, and he shakes his head with a little laugh.

“I’m good staying right here.” The blonde answers as he raises his hands up for emphasis, and a quick exchange with your conscience occurs.

If you reached out and grabbed his hand to pull him deeper into the water with you, he would certainly get mad at you. And it doesn’t help that this is the first time you’ve ever hung out with the guy you may have secretly admired in high school. This would make a spectacularly bad second impression.

However, you’re standing alone in the water, hand still outstretched towards him like a fool as you get openly rejected. Is it embarrassing for you? Perchance. Are you willing to have him get mad at you in order to not be standing alone in the ocean in wide leg jeans?

Absolutely.

Without a second thought, you grab his hand and yank him towards you. He lets out a loud shout of surprise, eyes wide as he trips onto you, causing the both of you to fall into the water.

You jump out of the water with a gasp that quickly turns into a snort when the blonde practically leaps up from under the ocean. He lets out a cough as he pushes his wet hair back, before turning to look at you with a combination of both shock and pure, utter betrayal etched onto his face.

“There is no way you just did that.” Seungkwan states as he coughs out some more water, and you simply shrug your shoulders, trying to fight back the laugh that’s threatening to escape, “I definitely did.”

The blonde blinks, takes a glance down at his soaking wet attire, and cringes slightly at the feeling of his wet jeans. Letting out a breath, he looks back up at you and tilts his head, “Do you regret it?”

You stare at him for a moment, taking in the way the sunlight spills across his face. The leftover water droplets clinging to his skin catch the light like tiny sparkles, and you find a smile making its way onto your face as you shake your head at him.

“No, I don’t believe I do.”

Seungkwan’s eyes bore into your own, and before he can get distracted by your pretty eye-smile, he lets out a sigh and turns away from you. He stretches his hands out and cracks his knuckles, then attempts to crack his neck by tilting his head from side to side.

Your smile falters slightly at the implication of his sequence of actions, “Oh neptune.”

“Oh neptune is right,” Seungkwan states after he finishes warming up, and you’re already starting to put some distance between the two of you when he lets out a maniacal laugh, “You better run bitch.”

You’re laying on the beach towel that you had bought after Seungkwan chased you around in the water for an hour, staring up at the sky that’s starting to get painted with different shades of pink and purple.

After you yanked Seungkwan into the water with you and the blonde attempted to murder you as revenge, you had bought both of your beach towels at the nearest convenience store as an act of apology. Whereas Seungkwan had bought you each ice cream as a sign of a truce, and now the two of you have been sunbathing for the last few hours, allowing the sun to dry up your clothes.

“That cloud looks like a butt.” Seungkwan points out, breaking the comfortable silence that had fallen over the two of you. You follow his pointed finger to find an orange cloud slowly floating away, and your eyes narrow at the sight, before agreeing with the blonde, “That’s an ass if I’ve ever seen one.”

You hear him chuckle at your comment, eliciting a small smile out of you as you turn your head to look at him. However, you’re quickly distracted by the beach volleyball game that’s going on, and you sit up on the towel to watch more carefully.

Your eyes follow the ball as it bounces back and forth over the net, and the corner of your lips tilts upwards when it finally hits the sand, watching as the team that scored a point let out a chorus of shouts. Nudging Seungkwan with your knee, you glance down to find him already looking at the volleyball players as you say, “You should join them.”

The blonde stares at the ongoing volleyball game in silence, and you’re about to repeat yourself when he suddenly turns away to look back up at the sky as he mutters, “No thanks.”

You blink at his answer.

In high school, Boo Seungkwan would never turn down an opportunity to play volleyball. It was almost as if the sport was a need for him—just like food, air, and water. Whenever the chance to play volleyball arose, he was always the first one to join.

And his team was always the one to win.

So now here you are, 8 years later, staring down at Seungkwan in surprise after hearing him turn down a game of beach volleyball.

“Why not? Whichever team you join would win since they’d have you as their teammate.” You say with a small smile, but the blonde just shakes his head, continuing to stare up at the sky with a faraway look to his eyes. A slight frown takes over your features at his indifference, and you press your lips into a thin line as an awkward silence settles over the two of you.

“You seem like a different person.” You murmur after a moment, trying to decipher what emotion is hidden beneath his gaze as he lets out a breath.

Seungkwan doesn’t turn his head to look at you, but he quietly asks, “What kind of person was I before?”

You stare at him, watching the way his eyes trail from side to side as he follows the clouds while you think to yourself.

From the dark eyebags he’s worn each day you’ve seen him, to the slight limp in his step after running with you in the water, and his disinterest in the sport you watched him fall in love with all those years ago.

“Right,” You mutter, turning away from him as you look up at the sky yourself, “I must’ve been mistaken.”

Silence falls over the two of you, and it lingers up until you go your separate ways. There’s a promise to reach out once you each make it home, a promise that is later fulfilled as soon as you enter your apartment. Your phone buzzes shortly after your text is sent, and a small smile graces your features when you glance down at the screen.

seungkwan🍊: good just made it home too i’ll see you tomorrow ?

You quickly type out a yes, before making a b-line to the bathroom in order to take a shower. However, as you lather your head with shampoo, your thoughts continue to stay on the faraway look to the blonde’s eyes.

You carry the full trash can towards the garbage, letting out a little grumble as you try not to get anything on your uniform. Making it to the bottom step of the stairwell, you turn the corner, just to let out a squeak and turn back around to hide behind the wall.

Heart pounding, you cautiously peek your head out to make sure your eyes aren't deceiving you. But they aren’t. Your jaw drops when you find Seungkwan standing in front of a girl from another class, her face bright red as she holds out a letter towards him.

“I just wanted to throw out the trash.” You murmur, wondering how you’re supposed to walk past them without getting noticed.

Biting the inside of your cheek, you peek at them again to find the girl’s letter still in her hands, but tears now flooding her eyes as she stares at the boy in front of her.

“I’m sorry,” Seungkwan finally speaks in a soft voice, and you hold back a gasp at the scene unfolding before you, “I don’t think I’ll have time to be in a relationship once we graduate. I’m honored that you like someone like me, but you’ll find someone better.”

You watch as her bottom lip quivers, and you almost feel terrible until she cries: “But I only want you!”

Your jaw drops in horror when she starts bawling, quickly snapping you out of your stalkerish behavior. Seungkwan reaches out to comfort her, and you find that this might be your only chance to sneak past them.

Grabbing the trash can tightly, you quickly start heading towards the garbage and recycling, only to freeze in your tracks when you suddenly hear:

“Yn!”

Your head whips around, watching in both slight horror and awe as Seungkwan jogs over to you.

“He knows my name?” You whisper to yourself in shock. Your eyes stay wide as he suddenly appears in front of you, and before you can even find your voice, he’s already reached out and taken the heavy trash can out of your grasp.

“I almost forgot that it was my turn to do the trash today. You didn’t have to take it out on your own!” Seungkwan lies with a pleading look to his eyes that absolutely does not match the smile he’s forced onto his face. He has an expression that is screaming: Please save me.

The corner of your lips twitches upwards as you attempt to use your best acting skills, taking a step forward to guide him in the direction of the trash can, “It was way too full and everyone was starting to complain. I decided to be a good natured human and take it out since you weren’t in class.”

Seungkwan almost lets out a sigh of relief when he finds that you’re going along with the lie. He chuckles and tries to look apologetic, “I’m sorry. I’ll buy you a treat after to make up for my forgetfulness.”

You let out a soft smile as you turn to look at him. You’d like to say this smile is a part of your act, but you know it’s not true. When the two of you finally make it to the trash can, you sneakily glance back to see if the girl is still there, and feel a bit of relief when you see that she’s gone.

“She’s not there anymore.” You tell Seungkwan after he throws the trash into the bin, and he practically collapses to his knees. He claps his hands together and looks up towards the sky, “God, I may not be religious, but I am asking you to let me finish my senior year without having to reject anyone else like that.”

You giggle at his dramatics, “What a privileged prayer to be making. Do you know how many guys are praying for the exact opposite of what you just asked for?”

Seungkwan snorts at your statement, and he starts leading the way back to your guy's classroom. You grin and follow after him, ignoring the way your heart is thumping in your chest as the two of you walk side by side.

This is the first time you guys have ever talked.

“I feel like it should be common knowledge that I’m only interested in both academics and volleyball. I always feel bad when I have to reject someone’s feelings, especially when they react like that.” Seungkwan explains, and you nod your head in understanding.

You and the class president have been in the same school since middle school, and you’ve watched his skills and passion in volleyball evolve over the years. You’ve admired him from a distance, always rooting for his ventures in the sport.

“That makes sense. It’s also a more stressful time for you since you’re getting scouted now, aren’t you?”

Seungkwan nods his head, letting out a short laugh, “Yeah. It’s around the time players will start getting offers from universities, so I keep frantically checking both the mailbox and my email whenever I can.”

You both pause outside of your classroom’s doors, having not realized you’ve already made it back to class during your conversation. Turning to look at the class president, you see the slight furrow to his eyebrows as he stares at the closed door of your class.

You don’t like seeing him look so anxious.

Biting the inside of your cheek, you nudge Seungkwan’s shoulder. He turns his head to look at you, “I’m not sure how much comfort or reassurance this will offer you, but they would be crazy to not scout you. You’re the best player on our team, and they chose to watch you at our games for a reason.”

Seungkwan stares at you for a moment, and you feel a bit of relief when you see the furrow to his eyebrows slowly melt away.

He eventually gives you a small smile, one that reaches his eyes as he softly says, “Thank you, yn.”

You nod your head, ignoring the warmth to your face as you raise both your fists up and say, “Fighting!”

“Here’s your latte.” You’re snapped out of your daydream once your coffee is placed in front of you, and you look up to give Seungkwan a smile, “Thank you.”

He nods his head and sits across from you, taking a sip of his iced americano and grinning in satisfaction. You find yourself frowning at the sight of the battery acid he’s drinking, “I can’t believe you like iced americanos.”

“Why? Do you like hot americanos instead?” The blonde asks, and you shake your head as you take a sip of your latte, “I don’t like americanos in general. It’s an espresso shot and water. That’s a recipe for me to shit my pants.”

Seungkwan lets out a chuckle, “Says the one who gets a latte. That’s an espresso shot and milk. Aren’t you lactose intolerant?”

You press your lips into a thin line and turn away from him, “I am not answering questions at this time.”

The blonde guffaws at your answer, and you have to bite back a smile to keep up your serious persona. Turning to glance at him, you take another sip of your delicious latte and grimace when he takes a large gulp of his iced americano. You point to it, “You don’t even add at least one sugar? You just get the espresso shot and water?”

“And I’m proud.” He answers with a sly smile, and you shudder in disgust. You set down your coffee to raise both your fists up and go, “Fighting!”

You watch as his eyebrows furrow slightly at your action, tilting his head as he leans back into his seat to look at you. You raise an eyebrow at him, “What?”

“Nothing. I just felt like that wasn’t the first time I heard you say that.” Seungkwan says, still trying to search his memory as he takes a sip of his coffee.

A small smile takes over your features at the distant memory you were just reflecting on, and you shrug your shoulders, “It’s something I say pretty often.”

The blonde stares at you for a moment longer, before nodding his head and seemingly letting go of trying to remember. There’s a loud ring of laughter that echoes through the cafe, and you both turn to find a small group of high schoolers joking around as they try to evenly split a cake slice.

“Can’t believe Spring break is almost over.” You mutter. It’s the fourth day of your guys break, so you only have three more days of freedom before getting back to work as a teacher. Seungkwan nods his head in agreement, letting out a low whistle.

“Tell me about it. I’m not ready. I want to continue sleeping in for another week.” Seungkwan responds with a sigh, and you grin, “What should we do with our last three days of freedom?”

The blonde thinks to himself for a second, before turning back towards you, “I’ve been interested in sourdough these days.”

“Sourdough.” You repeat, having not expected that answer at all.

Seungkwan nods his head, “I’ve been getting a lot of sourdough starter and sourdough videos on my timeline, especially in the middle of the night when I’m doom scrolling. Safe to say that it piqued my interest.”

You snort and lean back into your seat as you take a sip of your latte, “Alright, Shakespeare.”

“What? Is it a crime to use the word pique?”

“It’s a bit silly to hear it in the same sentence as sourdough and doom scrolling.” You say with a giggle, watching as the blonde lets out a smile. He waves a hand at you, “So are you down to bake sourdough?”

You grin and nod your head, “Yeah. Actually, my roommate also fell down the rabbit hole of sourdough starters and sourdough videos, so he made his own sourdough starter.”

“Woah, is it alive?” Seungkwan asks, and you nod again, “Yeah. He named him Soobin for some reason. I think it’s because he discovered that punching and slamming the dough onto the table is good for it, so he named it after his friend.”

“I know a Soobin,” Seungkwan states as he taps his chin, “I don’t think I would punch or chokeslam the Soobin I know, though.”

“Beomgyu and Soobin have a love-hate relationship.” You say, and the blonde’s eyes widen, “Wait. Is your roommate Beomgyu? Like, Choi Beomgyu?”

You nod with a smile, “Yes, why? Do you know him?”

“Yes! I met him through Soobin back in college. Soobin and I were both on SNU’s volleyball team.” Seungkwan explains, and your eyes widen in disbelief.

“Choi Soobin? Tall and cute, but not a sliver of an athletic bone on his body… on SNU’s volleyball team?” You clarify, and Seungkwan tilts his head at you in confusion.

“Soobin’s really good at volleyball.”

“But I’ve never once seen him make a basket when the boys played basketball?”

Seungkwan gives you a deadpan expression, “Volleyball and basketball are two very different sports, yn.”

“Okay, yeah! But how can you be super good at one ball sport, and terrible at another?!”

Seungkwan sips the last of his iced americano and places his glass down onto the table. He reaches out to tap your forehead with his pointer finger, and you swat his hand away with a glare.

“Come on, let’s make sourdough out of Soobin.”

“Bamgyu~ your best friend and perfect roommate is back home.” You call out in a singsong voice, stepping out of your sneakers and putting on your slippers. Seungkwan gently closes your front door and locks it, before slipping out of his own shoes.

“Yn! You’re lucky I just fed Soobin last night. That greedy fucking bastard. You know, this is the type of greed they warned about in the bible—Boo Seungkwan?” Beomgyu rounds the corner and pauses mid-rant when he looks up from the floor to see Seungkwan standing behind you.

He glances between you and the blonde, before he lets out a dramatic gasp, “Oh! Is Boo Seungkwan the one you went on a date with the other–AH!”

You run up in horror and immediately put him into a chokehold, cutting him off from finishing his sentence. The brunette slaps your arm that’s now tightly wrapped around his neck, and you gently lower him to the floor. Seungkwan lets out a small smile, seemingly unphased by your violence as he waves at your struggling roommate.

“Beomgyu! Long time no see!”

“H-Help… help me…” Beomgyu chokes out, gasping for air as you give Seungkwan a big smile from the floor. You nod your head in the direction of the kitchen, “You can go wash your hands in there~”

The blonde gives you a thumbs up and heads over towards the kitchen. You watch until he’s behind the kitchen island, and finally release your roommate from the chokehold. Beomgyu gasps for air, letting out a cough as he clutches onto his neck and puts distance between the two of you. He points at you in horror, “What the fuck?! I almost died—you fucking rat bastard!”

“You’re the one who doesn’t know how to watch your mouth?! I had to do what was best to save myself.” You whisper-shout, and Beomgyu continues to stare at you with wide eyes. He waves his hands around, “You could’ve, I don’t know, told me to shut the fuck up like a normal human being?!”

“Don’t act like you didn’t like it, you freak.” You state as you stand up from the floor. He opens his mouth to argue, but you point at him with an accusatory finger, “I saw your likes on Twitter before they went private. Don’t forget that we used to read the same manga, too.”

You watch as his mouth slowly closes, and he clears his throat. He nods his head, and takes your outstretched hand, allowing you to help him stand back up.

��Noted.” Beomgyu says, and you bite back a chuckle before the two of you head over towards the kitchen. You turn the corner to find Seungkwan staring at Soobin the sourdough starter with a look of awe on his face, and your roommate lets out a smirk.

“I know, pretty sick.”

“Does Soobin know that you named a sourdough starter after him?” Seungkwan asks, and Beomgyu shakes his head, “No, I think he’d kill me if he knew that I beat him in dough form.”

“Ah.” Seungkwan states, and you have to hold in your laughter. You nudge the blonde, “Is there a specific recipe that you were looking at? Or should we just go for it?”

“You guys know that the dough will need to be proofed, right? Seungkwan might need to sleepover and you can finish baking Soobin in the morning.”

Your mouth drops open slightly, having not known the intricate process of baking sourdough. Seungkwan, on the other hand, nods his head, “Yeah, I’ve been watching a lot of videos. I don’t want to intrude by sleeping over, though. I didn’t even bring anything.”

“You can just borrow my clothes. We can all hangout and watch a movie, or something.” Beomgyu says, and you nod your head in agreement, “Yeah, you live pretty far from here. I’d hate for you to have to make that commute.”

The blonde purses his lips, before nodding, “Alright. As long as the two of you are okay with it.”

You and Beomgyu exchange a glance, which leads to you elbowing your roommate in the gut when he knowingly wiggles his eyebrows at you. He lets out a slight grunt, before you both turn back towards Seungkwan and give him a thumbs up.

“Okay, let’s get this bread.”

“Who knew beating the fuck out of Soobin would be such a stress reliever.” You say as you flop down onto the couch, and Beomgyu snaps his fingers in agreement. Seungkwan chuckles, “Maybe we should start saying Soobin the sourdough starter instead of just Soobin. A stranger might think we’re actually assaulting someone.”

You immediately sit up and point at Seungkwan, “I would never beat Soobin up. That’s my princess.”

“What about me?” You glance at your roommate on the floor in front of the couch, who’s cupping his face with his hands and batting his eyelashes at you. You grimace and push his face away, and he lets out a loud whine.

“You don’t love me the way I love you.” Beomgyu grunts, making Seungkwan grin as he sits beside you on the couch. Rolling your eyes, you pick up the remote and start scrolling through Netflix to try and find a movie to watch.

“Woah. They added Interstellar to Netflix?” Your roommate exclaims when he sees the popular movie, and you nod your head in surprise, “I guess so. Should we watch it?”

“Nah, we should watch something funny. I think Interstellar would be too damaging.” Seungkwan adds as he makes himself comfy on the couch. You nod in agreement, scrolling until you find the remote landing on the movie White Chicks. Your eyes fall on the red box beneath the movie poster, reading the words:

Leaving Soon

There’s a shift in the air, and Beomgyu slowly turns his head to look at you, as does Seungkwan. The three of you exchange a glance, and through impeccable team synergy, you all decide to watch the movie White Chicks without having to say a single word.

“I’d say it was a sign from God to watch the movie.” Beomgyu finally speaks once the movie starts, and you let out a snort.

You attempt to make yourself comfortable as the movie goes on. Shifting on the couch, you purse your lips when you take note of the seating situation: Beomgyu is sprawled out on the floor in front of you, and Seungkwan is right beside you—effectively blocking any chance you had of stretching your legs out. With a sigh, you draw your knees to your chest and rest your chin on top of them.

The blonde takes notice of your discomfort shortly after, especially since you kept shifting out the corner of his eye. He leans towards you and whispers, “Are you not comfortable?”

You glance at him just as Beomgyu lets out a loud laugh, and offer a small shrug, “A bit. I just want to stretch my legs, but I’ll live.”

Seungkwan takes a quick look at your surroundings, quickly understanding why you’re stuck in a pretzel stance. Without a word, he rests his feet onto the floor and pats his knees, looking at you expectantly. Your eyes widen at the idea of skinship and you quickly shake your head, no, but the blonde pats his legs a second time.

“Are you sure? I really don’t mind sitting like this.” You whisper, and Seungkwan shrugs his shoulders, “I’d rather you be comfortable than uncomfortable.”

The warmth that floods your chest is immediate. After a moment, you tentatively stretch your legs out and rest them onto his knees, trying very hard not to overthink your position. You try to turn your attention back to the movie, but it’s quite hard to focus when Seungkwan’s hands are lightly patting your shins in a rhythm far too gentle for your nerves.

Beomgyu, that little shit, turns his head to shoot you a smirk after eavesdropping on your whole interaction. You send him a death glare. He blows you a kiss, before turning back towards the movie and letting out a loud laugh. You fight back the urge to reach out and grab a handful of your roommate’s hair, instead taking a deep breath and focusing on the movie again.

You try your best to watch White Chicks like a normal human being after the whole interaction, you really do.

But it’s difficult when all your brain can focus on is the fact that your legs are resting on Seungkwan’s lap—and he’s been gently tapping his fingers on your shins for thirty straight minutes.

It’s only when the infamous fitting room scene comes on and Seungkwan finally stops the gentle patting that you feel yourself able to breathe again. The three of you laugh and joke throughout the rest of the film, and when the movie credits come on, Beomgyu lifts up the remote to return to the home page.

“I forgot how much I love this movie–” Beomgyu starts as he turns to look at you and Seungkwan, only to pause when his eyes land on the guy beside you. Raising an eyebrow at his reaction, you follow his line of sight, only to find Seungkwan fast asleep on the couch.

“Damn. He was laughing just a minute ago.” You murmur, and Beomgyu nods his head. His eyes trail down to find Seungkwan’s hands still resting over your shins, and he takes a moment to take in the sight, before turning to you with a shit-eating grin.

“Shut the fuck up.” You state, and his shit-eating grin turns into an expression of mock offense, “What the fuck? I didn’t even say anything!”

“Your stupid face says enough.”

“I can’t win in this household.” Beomgyu mutters as he stands up from the floor and stretches his arms over his head. You take this moment to slowly remove your legs from Seungkwan’s lap, with Beomgyu helping you transition off the couch.

You let out a breath, crossing your arms as you look at the blonde fast asleep. You tilt your head at the same time the brunette tilts his head towards you, “He didn’t even brush his teeth or change into the pajamas we offered.”

“Should we wake him up?”

“No… let’s just place the pajamas and toothbrush on the coffee table and adjust him on the couch so he’s more comfortable.” You answer, and Beomgyu nods his head in agreement. You walk away to grab the spare toothbrush and clothes, while Beomgyu goes to get the pillows and blankets. 

You return with the toothbrush and clothes right as Beomgyu finishes fluffing a pillow and draping a blanket over the couch. Stepping carefully around the coffee table, you crouch down and place a hand gently on Seungkwan’s shoulders, guiding him slowly onto his back.

“I’m surprised he hasn’t woken up during any of this,” you whisper as Beomgyu moves to lift Seungkwan’s legs onto the couch. The brunette handles him with care, cradling each leg as if he’s done this before. For the first time, Seungkwan stirs—his brows knitting together as his body shifts on the cushions.

You watch closely as his legs move slightly into what looks like a more comfortable position, though the frown on his face remains. Biting the inside of your cheek, you tentatively reach out and carefully rub the crease between his brows until his expression eventually relaxes.

Beomgyu lets out a low whistle, “I tried to be careful with his leg, but I guess not careful enough.”

You pause mid-motion, blinking, “His leg?”

Beomgyu glances at you, nodding as if you’d just asked whether the sky was blue. He takes the blanket and places it over Seungkwan, then steps back with a soft sigh. But when he turns and sees the confused look still etched on your face, his expression falters. He blinks. Then blinks again.

“You don’t know?” 

“What am I supposed to know? Seungkwan and I only reunited a week ago, and before that we had spoken a total of like… two times.” You explain, and Beomgyu presses his lips in a thin line. He turns to look at Seungkwan once more, before turning to you and pulling you towards your room.

He makes you stand in front of your bedroom door, gestures in the direction of where Seungkwan is sleeping, before stating, “Frankly, it’s not my story to tell–”

“Bitch. You pulled me aside just to say that?” You ask with a deadpan expression, and the brunette shushes you.

“As I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted,” he gives you a pointed look, “It’s not my story to tell, so I’m only going to tell you the gist of it. Seungkwan tore his ACL in his senior year of volleyball at SNU, and it completely ended his volleyball career.”

Your heart sinks.

Boo Seungkwan? The same Seungkwan who lived and breathed volleyball? Whose energy lit up every game you ever watched?

Flashes of him come back in an instant—his bright smile whenever he played, his excited shouts when his team would successfully run a play, his laughter that echoed off the gym walls, the loud cheers from the crowd whenever he’d score a point. All that joy, that purpose, gone in a moment.

“He… he what?” You whisper, almost to yourself.

Beomgyu just shakes his head gently, “That’s all I should say. The rest is his story to share, not mine. I’m just happy to see him smiling again at least.”

The brunette stares at the look of something akin to both horror and sadness etched onto your face, and he can only fondly pat the top of your head. He squeezes your shoulder, “You should go to sleep. We have important business tomorrow. As in, baking Soobin tomorrow morning.”

You can only muster a tight-lipped smile, and Beomgyu turns and heads towards his room. Your eyes trail over to Seungkwan’s sleeping figure once more, unable to believe what your roommate just told you.

You saw the signs in the time the two of you have spent together, but you’re still unable to believe how harshly Seungkwan’s dream was ripped from his grasp. The late nights working at the convenience store, the dark circles under his eyes, and the detachment he showed when watching the beach volleyball game—it all makes sense now. All the signs were there.

But you still can’t quite believe it.

The dream he’d built his life around, ripped away without warning. The thing that had shaped so much of who he was, and now it’s gone.

A sharp ache lodges in your chest, and you shake your head, trying to push the weight of it all away as you step into your room.

You carefully weave through the crowd to get to your seat on the bleachers, and you let out a big smile when you see one of your few friends, Mark, waving you over. Hurrying to your spot, you plop down into the seat he saved for you, and hand him the bag of candy he asked for.

“Oh hell yeah! I’m glad they didn’t sell out of the gummy clusters, they’re usually the first to go whenever we have a home game.” He tells you as he opens the bag, and you nod your head in agreement as he holds out the candy to you.

Taking a piece, you toss it into your mouth as you explain, “Just so you know, I almost fought for my life getting you that candy. I didn’t think it would be that busy since it’s about to be the fourth set, but holy shit.”

Mark laughs and pats your head affectionately, “Well, thank you for going head first into battle for my favorite candy.”

“It’s only fair since you saved us seats earlier.”

“Well, it’s the last home game of the season. I figured you’d want to see the love of your life playing his last home game–”

“Shut your whore mouth?!” You whisper-shout, and your friend guffaws at your reaction. You have half the mind to start choking him out, but you do appreciate having at least one good friend in your school who you can confide in.

“I told you that in secrecy, and it was only told because you caught on to my heart eyes.”

“Yn, anyone can catch onto your heart eyes if they just glanced at you whenever the man called us to stand for the morning greeting.”

“You know what? I don’t need this right now. The fourth set is about to–” You’re cut off by the sound of cheers, and you immediately snap your head towards the court. Your heart practically leaps out of your chest when you see Seungkwan walk out while laughing with his teammate, Mingyu, before going straight to his position.

“Exhibit A.” Mark whispers into your ear, and you blindly slap his stomach, making him double over.

You watch as your team gets the first serve, and with bated breath, your eyes remain on the ball as it successfully gets served to the other team.

You watch in fascination as the game goes on, feeling a smile form on your face whenever Seungkwan lets out a cheer from a successful play. The crowd gets noticeably louder as your team wracks up points over the rival team, and you’re sure your heart rate is in the 100s from how close the game is.

Your eyes follow Seungkwan across the court, completely entranced by how his passion radiates through every movement. He plays like he’s part of the game itself—from the unwavering focus in his gaze, to the way his smile lights up whenever he scores, to the joy in his voice as he cheers on his teammates even when he’s subbed out. There’s no mistaking how much he loves this.

Your heart swells watching him—class president, volleyball captain, the sun around which so many orbit.

The crowd gets louder as the ball is kept alive longer than expected. You and Mark are on your feet now, having just watched your team’s libero dive over a table to save the ball. Hands clasped over your head, you brace yourself as the opposing team sets up for a block.

“Shit, shit, shit,” you mutter under your breath.

Then, just as quickly, everything shifts. A feint. A fake spike. And suddenly, Seungkwan is high above the net.

For a breathless second, time seems to stop. The noise of the crowd fades. The bright lights of the gym are shining onto the court, and all you can see is the way the lights illuminate Seungkwan’s form suspended mid-air, arm raised as the ball is passed to him. He strikes.

The ball slams into the floor untouched. Point.

25–20.

The scoreboard confirms it, but the deafening roar from the stands says it first. You and Mark jump and scream, pure joy coursing through your veins. Your eyes immediately search for Seungkwan, finding him at the center of the court, his smile wide and bright as his teammates pile onto him.

“Exhibit B,” Mark grins beside you, nudging your arm. “You practically have hearts shooting out of your eyes.”

You don’t even bother defending yourself this time, a warm smile on your face as you watch the team toss Seungkwan into the air in celebration.

Because all you can think is: he’s so happy, and he is so dearly loved.

And that’s more than enough for you.

Your eyes slowly open, the sunlight shining in through the cracks of the curtains. The corner of your lips quirk upwards, warmth lingering in your chest at the fond memory. Letting out a yawn, you roll over to check the time, only to pause when you hear the sound of laughter coming from the kitchen.

“You’re telling me that this whole time I’ve known you and Soobin, that Soobin actually won that League game?”

“Yeah. I think since my frontal lobe is developing, I’ve decided to be truthful.”

You roll your eyes at Beomgyu bringing up that League game once again. In the years you’ve known him and Soobin, it’s brought up at least once a month.

Grabbing your phone, you step out of bed and open your bedroom door to find Seungkwan and Beomgyu carefully putting flour over the dough.

“Well, well, well. Look who finally decided to wake up. We’re about to score Soobin, yn.” Your roommate calls out when he glances up from Soobin the dough, and Seungkwan looks away from the dough at the mention of your name. You watch as the blonde’s eyes scan the room before landing on you, and you feel your heart thump against your chest at the warm smile that appears on his face.

“Good morning, yn.” Seungkwan greets, and you smile, “Good morning.”

“Good morning Beomgyu, my favorite person in the whole wide world.” Beomgyu interrupts in a high-pitch voice, clearly trying to impersonate you, and your smile turns into a death glare, “Awe~ thank you, yn. You’re so kind to me.”

“You’re insufferable, you know that? You should definitely know it. You absolute son of a bitch. ” You deadpan as you walk over towards the bathroom to brush your teeth, and the brunette lets out a cackle before chatting with Seungkwan again.

Grabbing your toothbrush, you start to brush your teeth and head over to the kitchen to watch them score Soobin the sourdough. You stand beside Seungkwan and sleepily lean against his shoulder as the two of you watch Beomgyu whip out the blade.

You fail to notice the small smile that graces Seungkwan’s face from your initiated skinship.

“Do you trust Beomgyu enough to do this?” The blonde leans in to ask, and right before you get the chance to answer, your roommate lets out a maniacal laugh at the thought of scoring Soobin.

Soobin the dough.

You shake your head, no, and the blonde chuckles.

You stand together in a comfortable silence as your roommate seemingly locks in and starts etching a design onto the top of the dough. You have to hide how impressed you are at the delicate design Beomgyu scores into the dough. You didn’t think he had it in him, but then again, he’s already baked quite a few sourdough loaves.

As you try to reflect on Beomgyu’s previous loaves of bread, you almost inhale all the toothpaste foam in your mouth when Seungkwan suddenly rests his head on top of yours.

Beomgyu lets out a satisfactory smile once he finishes the score design, and turns to look at the two of you for praise, just to freeze at the sight resting before him. You’re still frozen as well, but even moreso now that you feel like you just got caught.

He stares at the two of you for a moment, before that sly smile you dread makes its way onto his face.

“Well, this is cute.” Your roommate states quite matter of factly as he gestures between the two of you. It takes you an egregious amount of energy to not spit the toothpaste foam directly onto his face as you instead step away to go and rinse out your mouth in the bathroom.

“I should just kill that guy.” You mutter to yourself after drying your mouth with a towel. Stepping out of the bathroom, you walk over to the kitchen to watch as Seungkwan places Soobin the sourdough into the oven.

“Wow~ I hope Soobin tastes good.” Beomgyu says in a singsong voice after the blonde shuts the oven door. You bite the inside of your cheek to stop yourself from laughing at the other way you can interpret that statement.

Seungkwan chuckles, however, and corrects your roommate, “Soobin the sourdough.”

“Tomato, potato.” The brunette says with a wave of his hand, making you roll your eyes before realizing that Seungkwan is wearing the sleeping clothes Beomgyu offered, “Oh! You’re wearing pajamas. Does that mean you woke up last night?”

Seungkwan glances down and laughs as he nods his head, “Yeah, I woke up in the middle of the night feeling gross in my jeans. Thank you guys for helping me lay down and stuff…”

But you barely catch the end of his sentence.

Your gaze has already drifted to the long surgical scar resting along his knee. It cuts sharply against his skin, a quiet but jarring reminder of everything Beomgyu told you.

Your chest tightens.

It’s not fair. Why him? Of all people?

“Yn!”

You jolt, immediately looking up to find both boys staring at you, “Sorry! I completely zoned out, what was that?”

“Seungkwan asked if you wanted to go pick up coffee at the place downstairs so we can drink it as we eat Soobin.” Beomgyu explains.

You bite the inside of your cheek, silently hoping that the pretty blonde didn’t notice you staring at his surgery scar. But when your eyes meet his, you know that he did.

He gives you a small smile that doesn’t quite match his gaze, “I can go by myself if you guys want. I just wanted to treat you guys for being such great hosts–”

“No!” You cut off, making Seungkwan and Beomgyu pause at your sudden outburst. Clearing your throat, you tuck a strand of hair behind your ear and gesture towards the door, “I can go with you. I wouldn’t want you to carry Beomgyu’s gigantic diabetic drink by yourself.”

“Okay–what the hell. I just breathed.” The brunette says in offense, but you don’t even shoot him a glance as your eyes stay on Seungkwan.

The blonde lets out a breathy chuckle and gives you a thumbs up, “Sounds good. What drink did you want though, Gyu?”

You shoot your roommate a pointed look, already knowing what his ass is going to ask for. He seemingly ignores your gaze as he reaches up to scratch the back of his neck, looking up at the ceiling as he mutters, “Cinnamon shortbread latte. Extra vanilla syrup… please.”

You slap a hand over your mouth to fight the laugh that threatens to escape, and he raises his hand to flip you off in response. Seungkwan bites back a laugh as well, turning and heading towards the door, and you follow after him.

As you slip into your slippers and grab your keys, Seungkwan steps into his sneakers and throws a jacket on. The two of you leave the apartment in a silence that feels heavier than it should.

Inside the elevator, you finally speak, “Did you sleep well?”

“Oh—yeah. Your guys’ couch is very comfortable so I practically slept like a baby.” Seungkwan answers with a small laugh, and you exhale in relief as you give him a smile.

“I’m glad. Beomgyu and I were surprised to find you fast asleep as soon as the movie ended.” You say with a giggle as the two of you step out of the elevator. Seungkwan chuckles and nods his head, holding the loppy door open for you before falling into step at your side.

“Yeah, I guess I didn’t realize how tired I was.”

You nod, but hesitate for a second, “Will you be okay for your shift at the convenience store tonight? I almost forgot that you’re working the night shift.”

Seungkwan waves it off, “I’ll be alright. Nothing I’m not used to, don’t worry.”

You bite the inside of your cheek, but decide to let it go.

At the café, you order and sit side-by-side on the tall stools by the window as you wait for your order. Despite the light conversation, you find your thoughts drifting to the long scar you caught a glimpse of, and everything Beomgyu told you last night. You have to force yourself not to look at Seungkwan’s leg, and instead stare out the window.

“What are you thinking about?” Seungkwan asks in a soft voice, snapping you out of your thoughts. You turn to look at the blonde, “What?”

“It’s just, you’ve been frowning since we sat down. Are you okay?” You press your lips into a thin line at the fact that he noticed. Feeling a bit embarrassed at how you’re not able to hide your emotions, you just shrug your shoulders, “I’m okay.”

“Are you sure?” Seungkwan presses, and you nod your head. However, you seemingly couldn’t get the slight frown to leave as the pretty blonde sighs and reaches out, gently rubbing his thumb over the crease between your eyebrows.

“You’re not very good at hiding your feelings, you know?” He teases lightly, and a small smile escapes you at that.

You’re about to joke with him when the sound of your order number is called, and you move to hop off the stool, but Seungkwan stops you, “I got it.”

You freeze mid-scoot when you see him actively trying to be careful as he steps down from the high stool, favoring his leg. Your eyes dart to his scar, unintentionally this time, and your breath catches in your throat.

“I got it,” you say quickly, already moving. “No worries. Just… stay here.”

Without waiting for his response, you walk over and grab the drink carrier. Giving your thanks to the barista, you turn around and head back to Seungkwan, coming to a slow pace when you see the hard expression on his face.

“What?” You ask in a quiet voice, and he stares at you in silence for a moment. His eyes are unreadable as he looks at you, and you can’t help the feeling of guilt that washes over you.

“Seungkwan, what is it?” You ask again, and he just lets out a sigh, turning away to scratch the back of his neck in frustration. Without a word, he takes the drink carrier from your grasp, and heads for the door. You trail behind in silence.

Outside, the air feels heavier than it did before.

“Seungkwan?” You call again, softly.

He stops in the middle of the sidewalk after you call his name once more, and he turns to you, frustration etched across his features.

“Just because you found out about my injury, doesn’t mean you need to pity me.” Seungkwan tells you, anger laced into his voice.

Your eyes widen, “I’m sorry, that’s not what I meant to do at all–”

“Well, that’s what you did,” he snaps. “You embarrassed me there, you know? I’m still physically capable, so I can get my own coffee. I don’t need your pity.”

His voice isn’t loud, but it cuts through you. You take a step back, eyebrows furrowed as you stare into his eyes.

“Why are you being so hostile over this one thing I did?” you ask, voice rising. “You’re not even giving me the chance to apologize or explain.”

Seungkwan shakes his head, “I’m not being hostile.”

“You totally are!” You scoff.

Silence stretches between you. You're both too annoyed to even attempt to hear the other out.

After a moment, he finally lets out a breath and hands you the drink carrier, “You can have my drink. I’m going home. Tell Beomgyu I had an emergency or something—I don’t know.”

“What the hell? You’re going to leave over this?” You ask, and he gives you a dry chuckle.

“You were right. I should rest before my night shift tonight, so yeah. I am leaving over this. I’ll see you tomorrow, or something.” Seungkwan says, before turning around and walking away without looking back.

And you’re left alone standing in the middle of the sidewalk with three coffees—one normal, one diabetic, and one that tastes like battery acid—and a sharp ache blooming in your chest.

“Chat, am I the asshole?” You mutter on Beomgyu’s floor, holding his plushie to your chest as he plays League on his computer. You hear him insult Soobin through his mic, before shooting you a quick glance.

“I don’t think you’re an asshole, per se. I can see where he is coming from, though.”

You sniffle, “What does Soobin think?”

Beomgyu lets out a breath, before quickly fixing his settings so that Soobin’s voice comes out of his pc’s speakers instead of his headset, “Yn can hear you now, Soobin.”

“I don’t think you’re an asshole, yn.”

You can’t fight the pout from forming on your lips as you actively hold back the tears threatening to spill.

High school you could never imagine fighting Seungkwan like that—let alone fathom being close enough to hurt each other like this. Friends who sometimes feel like something more… but you won’t let yourself go there right now because:

you don’t want to be delusional

you’re still a bit mad at him

why the hell would Boo Seungkwan, your first love, ever feel something for you?

“Princess, am I going to hell?” You ask, feeling a bit more sad at your trail of thoughts as you clutch the plushie tighter to your chest. Beomgyu and Soobin answer in perfect unison, “Of course not, yn.”

“Shut the fuck up Beomgyu! I was talking to Soobin! You already know he’s my princess, not you!” You cry out, flopping backwards onto the floor. Your roommate bites his bottom lip, visibly holding back a retort. You’re sad over fighting with your first love, so he should be nice to you. Probably.

Still, he mutters under his breath, “I should just fucking kill myself.”

“I think you guys just need to talk it out,” Soobin says gently. “It was a bit of a silly fight, so you guys should be able to resolve it as long as you talk.”

Your pout deepens at his words, and you sniffle. The sound of a potential cry incoming causes Beomgyu to freeze.

A tear finally does escape past your eye, and Beomgyu immediately dies in the game.

“Ain’t no way you just died like that.” Soobin says.

The brunette doesn’t respond. He turns to look at you, eyes wide as he takes in the sight of you trying to hold back tears, and ultimately failing. He feels his own lips form into a pout at the pitiful sight.

“Yn,” Beomgyu says gently, “Soobin’s right. You guys just need to talk, okay?”

And that’s it.

You just about start wailing at your roommate talking to you in a gentle tone. Beomgyu flinches back in horror, and you hear Soobin start panicking and asking if you’re okay in-between a chorus of:

oh shit! son of a bitch?! beomgyu what the eff i need support?!

Your roommate rushes off his gaming chair and sits on the floor beside you, patting your head as you cry it all out. He’s practically holding back tears of his own, feeling like a strong empath at the moment, you suppose.

“I-It’s just not fair? How can the universe rip Seungkwan’s dream right out from under him like that? That’s so not fair! He of all people deserved to fulfill his dream!” You cry, voice cracking, and Beomgyu turns his head away so that he’s not looking at you while continuing to pat your head.

“It’s not fair. You’re right, yn. It was probably the most heartbreaking thing to watch him go through during that time.” Soobin agrees, and you almost start crying even harder as you reflect on your argument, realizing that you have been pitying him.

You hiccup through another sob and turn to your roommate, looking at the back of his coconut-shaped head.

“I am the asshole.” You whisper through your tears.

“I think you’re both the asshole. Asshole is kind of a strong term though. Maybe you guys are more like, I don’t know… baby bastards.” Beomgyu suggests, still facing the white wall as he pats your head.

“Listen,” Soobin continues, “it’s not my story to tell. But yeah, Seungkwan went through a lot. It still hits him emotionally to this day, so I’m not surprised that he reacted like that. You guys just need to talk.”

You sniffle, clutching the plushie tightly in your arms as you think of how to even start that conversation.

“He’s working the night shift right now, so I don’t think I’ll be able to talk to him until tomorrow.” You state, feeling your pout deepen at the fact that you might have to wait until tomorrow.

“Why not go visit him during his shift?” Beomgyu suggests, still facing the wall. “That’s how you guys reconnected in the first place, anyways.”

“That’s a good idea! You should do that, yn.” Soobin voices his support, and you snap your fingers as a lightbulb figuratively appears above your head.

“I can bring him his half of Soobin since he didn’t get to try him today!”

The moment the words leave your mouth, Beomgyu’s head snaps to you right as Soobin goes, “You can bring him his half of huh?”

You and Beomgyu freeze as your princess on the other end goes quiet.

Your eyes widen in horror. Beomgyu’s eye twitches.

You glance at Beomgyu, mouthing the words: I’m so fucking sorry.

He can only let out a deep sigh, reaching out and wiping the tear tracks off your cheeks with the back of his hand.

“Did you say bring him his half of me?” Soobin asks slowly. “Like… me, Soobin? Choi Soobin. Me?!”

Swallowing the lump in your throat, you gently place Beomgyu’s plushie back on his bed, and stand up from the floor. You step over towards the mic, “I’m going to go get ready to talk to Seungkwan. Thank you for your help, Soobie my princess.”

“Anytime, yn… but seriously. What did you mean by bring him his half of me?”

“Haha, that’s crazy. Reception is so bad here. I hope y'all win your next game!”

“Reception? We’re calling on Discord.”

Without responding, you turn towards your roommate. You raise your fists up towards Beomgyu, who is in a state of fear, and go Fighting! before practically sprinting out of his room.

Beomgyu stares blankly at his screen, already wondering what picture of him his parents will use for his funeral.

“Beomgyu… what are you doing with my name?” Soobin asks, and to one with an untrained ear, this is a simple question. To Beomgyu, however, this is a matter of life or death. He gulps and slowly stands up from his bedroom floor. He carefully walks over to his gaming chair and sits down.

“So… crazy story…”

Holding Soobin the sourdough in a tupperware, you walk in the direction of the convenience store where Seungkwan works. The late evening spring air is warm, just enough to hint that summer is slowly starting to settle in.

It’s 1:00 AM. You’d spent the latter half of the night groveling in Beomgyu’s room over Seungkwan—until the brunette, in an incredibly rare instance of genius, suggested you go visit him at work.

You pause your walk, “Does intruding during his shift make me more of an asshole?”

You think for a moment longer, before shaking your head and continuing towards the convenience store. You had already made it this far, you can’t back down now.

Your mind drifts to memories of Seungkwan in high school, and how you had admired him quietly from a distance. Back then, you wished nothing but the best for him. And now? That hasn’t changed.

But as the gentle breeze brushes past you, you realize that perhaps you idolized him too much. You only ever expected the best from him, because that’s all you saw growing up. From his perfect grades, his charisma, to his genuine love and passion for volleyball. You only ever pictured him fulfilling his dream of becoming a national athlete, loved by fans all around the world.

But life doesn’t always follow the plans we make, and success doesn’t only come in one form.

The convenience store finally comes into view, and you pause when you see the blonde staring at his phone with a furrow to his eyebrows. You watch quietly as he presses his lips into a thin line, and starts typing something into his phone. He stares at the message for a moment, before seemingly deleting the text and resting his head onto the counter in frustration.

Biting the inside of your cheek, you carefully walk up to the convenience store and push the doors open.

“Welcome in–Yn?” Seungkwan’s eyes are wide when he looks up to see you standing there, clad in only a t-shirt, thin jacket and jeans. You give him an awkward smile and raise Soobin the sourdough towards him as you take a step forward, “I brought you your share of Soobin the bread. It wouldn’t be fair if you didn’t get to try your hard work.”

Seungkwan watches as you gently place the tupperware on the counter, before taking a step back and staring at him with a slightly nervous expression on your face.

“Thank you, yn… I was actually just about to text you.” Seungkwan confesses in a soft voice, one that drips with a tinge of remorse. You blink, suddenly realizing that what you saw a moment ago was him working up the nerve to reach out to you. The corners of your lips tilt upwards, and you gesture towards the ramen section, “I can go buy us ramen and wait for you outside?”

The blonde stares at you for a moment, before a small smile graces his own features. He nods his head, “Yeah. I’ll get on my break and buy the sausages.”

You grab the cup ramen the two of you like and prepare it after paying. After transferring the first cup of ramen outside, you quickly head back into the store to grab your ramen. Carefully holding the second cup, you walk out the convenience store and place it on the table before sitting down. A cool breeze blows past you, making you shiver as you break your chopsticks.

“Guess it’s not exactly summer, yet.” You murmur, starting to regret not bringing a thicker jacket. Rubbing your chopsticks together, you’re about to check on your noodles when you suddenly feel something get draped over your shoulders. You turn your head to find Seungkwan settling into the seat beside you, only wearing his sweatshirt and convenience store vest as he breaks his chopsticks apart.

“Thank you, Seungkwan.” You say softly, already feeling warmer by the affectionate act. The blonde just gives you a smile before gesturing to the sausages he bought, and you grin before digging into your late night meal.

The two of you eat in silence, but it’s not uncomfortable or tumultuous like it was earlier in the day. This silence is comfortable, as you both feel remorseful for what happened.

It’s only when you each slurp up the last of your noodles, and the container of sausages is empty, that Seungkwan finally breaks the silence.

“It happened during my last volleyball season at SNU, right before I was supposed to join the national team—I tore my ACL.”

You turn your head to face the blonde, and feel your chest tighten at the familiar sight of the faraway look to his eyes. He presses his lips into a thin line, avoiding eye contact with you as he continues.

“It was a big game. We were playing against our top rival, scouts for the national team were in the crowd, and my team was in the lead.” Seungkwan explains, letting out a shaky breath before continuing, “And I had landed wrongly in trying to save the ball. Most people assume that I would’ve only remembered the searing pain I felt in my leg. Yet, all I remember at that moment was the feeling of my heart breaking.”

You feel tears flood your eyes at his vulnerability in retelling this story, your own heart breaking within your chest at the pain he must’ve felt. The blonde bites his bottom lip at the memory, and lets out a dry laugh, “For some reason, I just knew at that moment that my dream was over. Of course, I fought with my doctor and my surgeon. I worked my ass off in rehab too because I just didn’t want to accept it. I knew it was true, but I couldn’t bring myself to acknowledge that.”

“I just,” Seungkwan scratches the back of his neck, still refusing to meet your eyes, “I just couldn’t believe it—all my hard work, the blood, sweat, and tears I poured into my passion for the sport—just gone in a split second. It was my dream to play on the national team. Volleyball was all I knew, and I was good at it. So when it was taken away from me, I felt like I wasn’t worth anything anymore. It put me in a really dark place, if I’m being honest.”

“Since I couldn’t play the rest of the season, my volleyball scholarship had to be revoked. My coach and team fought for me, but we lost. I had to take out a loan and work outside of school in order to pay my tuition. I’m towards the end of my loan payment now, so I guess it’s fine. I was only lucky that I had a strong support system at the time, because I don’t think I would’ve been able to get to where I am today if I endured that alone.” Seungkwan explains, and you can only stay silent as you stare at the blonde.

You stare at the boy who made your time in high school shine brightly. The boy you once admired for his effortless charm and athleticism, unraveling before you—burdened by a dream that was suddenly out of reach.

“Rehab was hard, and I still occasionally have to see a physical therapist. Once you tear your ACL, it’s incredibly easy to tear it again. It’s changed the way I live my life, but I’m stubborn and like to think I can still live the way I once did. That's why I was so sensitive with you today when you were just worried. And for that, I’m sorry, yn. I shouldn’t have been so hostile towards you.”

“No, no. I’m so sorry, Seungkwan.” You interrupt, and the blonde finally turns to look at you for the first time since starting the conversation. His eyes widen at the sight of the tears in your eyes, and he reaches out to rest his hand over yours, “Yn, why are you crying?”

Your bottom lip trembles, but you suck in a deep breath to keep your tears at bay. You shake your head, voice shaking as you begin, “It’s not just what happened to you that hurt. It’s that… you of all people, didn’t deserve it. Not after everything you worked for. When I think of you, I remember how serious you were about volleyball. How much passion you had–even back in high school. You were always so sure of yourself, always chasing something bigger.”

You glance down at his hand over yours, willing your voice to stay steady, “So hearing what you went through, and seeing it in person–it hit me. Maybe because I saw your love for the sport, and the love you were shown. Maybe because… back then, you were this source of brightness in a place that didn’t always feel bright to me. And to know that even someone like you could have something like that taken away, it just made the world feel cruel.”

Seungkwan stays quiet, an indecipherable emotion in his eyes as he stares at you, and you offer him a faint, tearful smile.

“It wasn’t fair for me to change the way I acted around you as soon as I found out what happened. The last thing I would ever want to do is make you think that I pity you, or that you’re not capable of doing something just because of your injury. I don’t ever want to belittle you, or make you feel small.” You explain, and the blonde bites the inside of his cheek at your honesty. He gives your hand a squeeze and nods his head with a close-lipped smile, “It’s okay, yn. I’m sorry.”

“I’m sorry too, Seungkwan.” You tell him softly. The two of you stare at each other for a moment longer, a weight being lifted off both of your guys’ shoulders after communicating. Seungkwan turns away and lets out a sigh, “Maybe I should’ve bought us beer instead of sausages. I didn’t expect to pour my heart out like that.”

A laugh escapes you at his joke, and he grins at you, before reaching out and adjusting his jacket over your shoulders so that you’re fully protected from the cold air. Feeling warmth flood your face at the affectionate action, you turn away and look up at the stars as a comfortable silence settles between the two of you.

You turn towards the blonde a moment later, finding your gaze drifting along his profile under the streetlight. His features are cast in a soft gold, and for once, there’s no heaviness in his expression. The dark circles beneath his eyes have faded since the first day you saw him again, no longer etched so sharply into his skin.

Your eyes catch sight of the roots of his hair just beginning to peek through, the dark brown growing in against the light blonde. It’s a gentle contrast, a quiet sign of time moving forward, or something coming back into bloom.

Though the streetlight is not the most flattering light to most, it lays on Seungkwan’s features softly—highlighting the gentle curve of his cheekbones and the warmth in his eyes as if the night itself were conspiring to make him glow.

“It must’ve taken a lot of courage.” You suddenly speak, and the blonde turns to you with a raised eyebrow. The corner of his lips quirks upwards, and he just scoffs, “To what? Get an injury so severe that it made me ineligible for the national team?”

You shake your head, and he tilts his head at you, awaiting your response.

You can see how deeply the struggle has affected him, and you can’t help but admire the strength it must have taken to let go of something he loved so much.

“To give up on your dream…” You pause, trying to find the right words, “That took courage, Seungkwan.”

Seungkwan stares at you as your words soak in, unable to respond. He blinks slowly, before turning away from you and looking up at the sky. You look away and up towards the stars as well, your breath catching when you feel him gently rest his head on your shoulder a minute later.

For a while, neither of you speak, the quiet weight of the moment settling between you.

You stay like that until Seungkwan’s break is over, shoulders touching as the world outside of this moment fades away.

You glance down at the small bouquet in your hands, making sure the SNU logo in the middle of the flowers is perfectly centered. Letting out a small smile, you adjust your graduation cap on the top of your head, and turn to your parents, “I’ll be right back! I just need to drop this off.”

“Okay honey, but try to hurry! We have the reservation at the restaurant soon!” Your mom shouts after you, and you shoot them a thumbs up as you hurry towards the school building.

You pass by many of your classmates, congratulating them on also graduating as you do so. There’s families and teachers everywhere, big smiles on everyone’s faces as you walk through the building.

It’s only when you finally make it to your classroom for the last time, that you almost let out a chuckle at the sight that lays before you.

“Guess I’m not the only one who wanted to leave him a gift.” You murmur as you walk up to Seungkwan’s desk, seeing the numerous boxes and candies left on top and on his seat. Biting the inside of your cheek, you place down the bouquet of flowers in the last empty space on his desk. You quickly fix the position of the attached noted you had written,

Congratulations, Class President. I’ll be rooting for you.

Taking a step back, you smile to yourself at the sight of all the love shown towards the boy you admired throughout all of high school. You let out a breath, and take one last look around the class. Your fingers trail over your desk and cubby as you walk by, until you reach the doors of the classroom.

Smiling softly, your eyes linger on all the gifts laying on Seungkwan’s desk, before nodding your head in satisfaction as you turn around and walk down the hallway of your high school one last time.

Goodbye, my first love.

You smile to yourself at the memory as you prepare your lunch bag for work. You never would’ve thought you and Seungkwan would reconnect, especially not like this. However, the smile on your face soon drops when the bane of your existence breaks the silence.

“I can’t believe I’m losing my roommate to the workforce once again.”

“Beomgyu, I am choosing peace instead of violence, and asking you to shut the fuck up.” You respond without even shooting him a glance, and the brunette lets out a whine from the couch.

“Can I not mourn the loss of you returning to work and me not waking up to already made coffee and breakfast?” Beomgyu asks, and you squint, “You only care about the meals I made, not my actual presence.”

“Well, yes.” The brunette answers like it’s the most obvious thing in the world, and you let out a sigh. Reaching down, you grab your slipper, and before he can react, you chuck it right at his forehead. You turn around right when you hear your slipper reach its target, a satisfied smile forming on your face when Beomgyu lets out a cry from the floor instead of the couch.

Placing your lunch into the refrigerator, you let out a yawn and check the clock on the microwave, seeing that it’s almost time for you to sleep.

“You don’t love me the way I love you! And after all I did to make you and Seungkwan be #endgame!”

“We aren’t dating, Gyu.”

“Right… didn’t you guys start casually holding hands three days ago? And have continued to do so everyday after that?”

You pause your journey to your bedroom, and slowly turn to glance at your roommate. You squint at the sight of his knowing smile, and he starts making kissy noises that trigger you to imagine throwing your other slipper at him.

“We’re just… holding hands. You and I have held hands!”

“If you’re counting the times I had to grab your hand to stop you from choking me to death, then that does not count.” Beomgyu says with a deadpan expression, and you purse your lips.

You cannot refuse nor deny that statement, unfortunately.

The brunette lets out a sigh, stands up from the floor at your silence, and tosses your slipper in your direction, “Have a good day back at work tomorrow, and have fun with your boyfriend~”

“He’s not my boyfriend! It’s only been a week!” You immediately exclaim as you slip back into your other slipper, and your roommate just waves a hand at you as he walks off in the direction of his bedroom.

“Potato, tomato. Either way, I expect to be the Best Man at the wedding.”

Feeling how warm your cheeks are at Beomgyu’s teasing, you quickly shout goodnight! before stepping into your room and shutting the door. You let out a breath, and plop down onto your bed. Raising your hands up to your face, you feel slightly more embarrassed from how warm your cheeks are compared to your hands.

“That bastard.” You murmur to yourself with a small smile. Shaking your head, you reach for your charger to plug in your phone, just to pause when you see the notification you missed.

seungkwan🍊: have a good day back at school tomorrow ^^ are we still on for after school?

you: have a good day back too seungkwannie~ and yes of course!

seungkwan🍊: yay i’ll see you tomorrow <3

you: night night <3

Plugging your phone into its charger, you place it on your bedside table, and roll onto your back. You stare at your ceiling in silence for a moment, feeling your face warm up again from the interaction. Biting your bottom lip, you roll over and shove your face into your pillow, letting out a squeal as you kick your feet.

At the end of the day, you’re still 16 year old you at heart.

“Hi! I’m here in the teacher’s office. I had to greet everyone first.” You say into your phone, and you hear Seungkwan chuckle from the other end. “I’ll be there in a second. Don’t let Mr. Kim rope you into a long conversation or else we’ll be late to practice.”

“I would never. Not intentionally, at least.” You joke, and the blonde laughs before telling you he’ll see you soon. Hanging up the phone, you glance around the teacher’s office, feeling incredibly nostalgic at being in your old high school.

“Yn!” You turn your head at the call of your name, and a smile graces your features when Seungkwan walks over to you from the doorway.

“Oh~ who would’ve thought I’d see this pairing in my life?” Your old homeroom teacher says in a singsong voice, causing the other teachers to start giggling. The sound of your old teachers giggling and commenting happily at the sight of you and Seungkwan together has heat rushing to your face.

You’re about to laugh it off when suddenly you feel Seungkwan’s warm hand encompass your own, and you turn your head to find him giving your old teachers a small smile. “We have to head to volleyball practice now–the students are waiting. We’ll see you guys later!”

Your old teachers start cooing at the sight of your intertwined hands as Seungkwan turns and leads you out of the teacher’s office. You can’t help the shy smile from forming on your face, and when you spare a glance at the blonde, you catch sight of his ears that have turned a soft shade of red.

Your heart thumps against your chest when the blonde turns to give you a smile as he leads you down the hallway. The two of you pass right by your old classroom, and you give his hand a squeeze as all the bright memories from high school flash past your eyes.

“Are we also going to hold hands in front of your students too? I think our old teachers are having a field day in the office right now.”

Seungkwan lets out a short laugh and nods his head in agreement, his thumb brushing lightly over your knuckles. “Probably shouldn’t, but I would if you wanted to,” he teases, but there’s a tenderness to his voice that lingers even after the joke fades.

The two of you walk in step through the quiet hallways, with only a few students remaining in some of the classrooms for the after-school program. There’s a distant echo of laughter and the sound of sneakers squeaking against the gym floor growing louder with each step.

When you’re finally standing in front of the doors to the gym, the two of you let go of each other, and Seungkwan gives you a shy smile, “Just to warn you, these kids can be a bit… you know. Teenagers. Think they’re the shit and try to act like adults, but in reality their mom is paying for all their stuff. You know, it’s a canon event. When you get to know them though, they’re really great. Trust me. I’m pretty sure a few of them are getting scouted for SNU and Yonsei in the upcoming games.”

“I know what you mean, don’t worry. Do they know how lucky they are to have you as their coach?” You ask with a grin, and he fondly nudges his shoulder against yours, before pushing open the doors. He picks up his whistle and blows into it, immediately capturing the attention of the young students who were simultaneously messing around and stretching.

“Coach Seungkwan! We’ve been waiting for you!” One of the boys exclaims with a big smile, and you feel warmth flood your chest at the affection that drips from all the students’ expressions as they look at the blonde.

“I’m sorry for being a bit late! I had to bring my classmate here to meet you guys. Everyone~ say hi to teacher yln.” Seungkwan gestures in your direction, and you wave your hand at the students who eagerly smile and wave at you. “Hi! I’m a fellow alumni from Coach Seungkwan’s year. You guys should know that you’re very lucky to have this guy as your coach.”

“Was he really the best on his team like he always brags about?”

“Woah, woah, woah. I never claimed I was the best on my team!” Seungkwan intervenes, and you have to hold back your laugh at the sight of his wide eyes and red ears to match.

“Then who claimed it?” You tease, and the students look towards the blonde expectantly. You giggle at how flustered he looks as he tries to come up with an answer, and the kids start laughing and exposing him. You smile at the sight of Seungkwan waving his arms and trying to shush them as you start to walk in the direction of the bleachers.

“Alright, alright. I hope you guys had your fun ruining my ego in front of teacher yln.” Seungkwan states with a fake glare towards the students, causing them to laugh and high five. “Anyways, since we have a special guest here, I expect you guys to put in 110% effort into today’s practice. Afterwards, I’ll treat you all to some snacks for tomorrow’s practice. Deal?!”

“Deal!!” The students immediately answer, and you giggle as Seungkwan raises his arms up in celebration. He shoots you a wink, before turning back to the students and blowing his whistle, “Okay! Let’s start with warm-ups!”

You sit down on the bleachers as Seungkwan starts directing warm-ups, and you feel yourself become entranced as you watch him from afar.

His voice is firm, but kind as his presence grounds the whole gym. You watch as he moves along the sidelines, the detail in his instructions. You watch as he demonstrates some techniques, and calls out encouragement to the kids. Even when there needs to be something corrected, he does so with a gentle hand on a shoulder or a few clear words that make the kids focus.

And you sit there, tears flooding your eyes as you watch him, having not thought you’d see him like this again in your lifetime. Even though he’s not the one on the court, jumping high above the net—he still shines as brightly as you remember him.

You feel it in the way the kids look at him–the admiration, trust, and respect in their gazes. Through his posture, his quiet confidence, and the pure love that shines through his eyes and actions. He’s still leading, still burning with that light that once made your high school years feel a little less dull.

You find yourself smiling to yourself as you watch Seungkwan laugh with one of the students, feeling a tear escape your eye when you catch sight of his beautiful smile as he ruffles another one’s hair for serving well.

The volleyball practice eventually ends with laughter and a dramatic dive for the ball that sends one of the students skidding across the floor. Seungkwan blows his whistle, claps his hands, and announces that practice has ended. The students shout, thank you! before bowing and cleaning up the gym.

You watch as the blonde joins them in cleaning up, even helping some of the students carry away the volleyball nets. There’s sweat dripping from his forehead, and his hair is a little messy from the practice, but he’s smiling in a way that makes something ache in your chest.

When the gym is cleaned and the locker room finally quiets down, Seungkwan jogs over to you, chest rising and falling as he catches his breath, “Sorry that took a while. They’re a bit loud and yap a lot, but they’re great, right?”

You nod your head slowly, watching him with something unreadable behind your eyes, The blonde tilts his head at your silence, before letting out a nervous laugh, “Shit. Did you have any critiques? Should I have been tougher on them?”

“No,” you quickly interject, and Seungkwan bites the inside of his cheek, afraid of what’s on your mind that has you so speechless. He’s about to ask you if something’s wrong, but the words die in his throat when you softly confess, “You were great out there.”

He looks at you like he’s not sure how to respond to that, sensing that your words carry more weight than the simple compliment.

Then, quietly, almost like you’re not sure if you should say it, you do.

“You haven’t changed.”

He blinks at your sudden observation, remembering the day on the beach.

“Why not? Whichever team you join would win since they’d have you as their teammate.” You say with a small smile, and Seungkwan just shakes his head. He stares up at the sky, watching the cloud slowly move past his gaze. He can’t bring himself to tell you the truth, not when you remember him in such a pure light.

He can’t help but feel bitter at how his life turned out as you stare at him in silence.

“You seem like a different person.” He hears you murmur after a moment, and his heart pangs against his chest. Swallowing the lump that’s built up in his throat, he lets out a breath at your statement.

Unable to look at you due to the fear of seeing disappointment or pity in your eyes, he quietly asks, “What kind of person was I before?”

Seungkwan feels your gaze on his face, but he continues to stare up at the sky as he waits for your answer.

“Right, I must’ve been mistaken.” You mutter, and the blonde can only watch the cloud drift further and further away from him as silence settles over the two of you.

Seungkwan bites the inside of his cheek as he reflects on that day, remembering how bitter he felt when he watched those guys play volleyball. He was hurt when you said what you did, but he didn’t want to let it show. It wasn’t fair to you when you didn’t even know the story.

Letting out a breath, he asks, “What do you mean?”

“You always made people feel like they belonged… you still do.” You explain, trying to come up with the words to make sure you’re conveying your feelings right. “You didn’t lose the best parts of yourself when you had to give up your dream, Seungkwan. You carried them with you.”

He stares at you after you finish. His lips opening and closing like he wants to respond, but not able to find the words. Instead, he swallows the lump that’s formed in his throat, and lets out a shaky breath.

“I didn’t know if I had,” he begins softly, “for a long time after my injury, I didn’t know if there was anything left of me outside of volleyball.”

You bite the inside of your cheek at the sight of tears pooling in his eyes, before reaching out and encompassing his warm hand in yours, “There is. There always has been. I saw it today, and honestly? I think I always did, even back then. You always shined so brightly, and you still do. You shine even brighter than before.”

Your words linger in the air afterwards. You’re not even sure if he’ll believe you, but you meant it. Every word.

And Seungkwan just stares at you, like he’s trying to memorize every detail of your face at this exact moment.

Then, a small, wet laugh escapes him—half disbelief, and half something else entirely as he gazes at your surroundings.

He shakes his head and looks at you, “You’re going to make me cry in our old high school gym. It almost makes me feel like I peaked in high school.”

You let out a loud laugh and squeeze his hand, “Trust me, you didn’t. Beomgyu, on the other hand? He’s bordering on that.”

Seungkwan laughs at your joke, shaking his head as you giggle along with him.

“Come on,” he says after a moment. He picks up your bag on the bleachers and gives your hand a gentle tug, “I’m not getting you locked in here with me overnight. Our old teachers are already having a field day over what happened earlier—they’d definitely go into cardiac arrest if we’re found here together after hours.”

You smile and let the blonde lead you towards the exit, the quiet hum of the gym settling around you like an old blanket. As you walk towards the doors, Seungkwan doesn’t let go of your hand, and you don’t want him to.

The gym lights above flicker once before shutting off behind you, the echo of your footsteps fading as the doors close.

Outside, the night air is cool against your skin. And the world feels slower, somehow. Almost suspended.

Seungkwan glances over as you step through the school gate together, watching as you turn back to look at your old high school one more time.

He gives your hand a squeeze, causing you to turn to look at him, “Thank you for coming today. Really.”

“Thank you for showing me.” You say with a soft smile, “I think… I really needed to see that.”

Seungkwan hums in agreement. A comfortable silence falls over the two of you as you walk hand-in-hand towards the bus stop, allowing yourselves to just soak in this moment. The weight between the two of you is lighter now, easier.

You glance at the pretty blonde, the boy you once watched from across the classroom and gym bleachers, never once daring to imagine a moment like this. Back then, he felt worlds away, like a star that’s bright and unreachable. It felt right to just watch him shine from a distance.

But now he’s here beside you, fingers laced with yours, walking home with you under the same stars.

And you silently think to yourself, maybe you’ve both found something better than what you first dreamt of.

ミ★ taglist: @sunlightwoo @aurenvoire @dreamerhaos @brinnalaine @minluvly @wonunuu @suhfluffy @shuajeong @kuromieiie @minghao-will-be-the-death-of-me @miruac @jaeyuni @sunflowergyeomie @cheolliehugs @smileyjimvn @sukisdeliveryservice @ghostvx @kodzumo @dwcljh @hanniehaeism @taeguk-munchkin @w8nuzone @shuatic @semicolorn @haonysus @adoreateez @anissanightyoung @serenadesvt @linhyyboo12 @junjungsunwoo @wooahaeproductions @changbinworld @mybbtaeyong4thewin @chwesbaby @soobin-chois @bibinnieposts @laylasbunbunny @yoonzinoooo @toruro

[asongoftearsandfandoms]

🥺

Sorry if this sounds obvious, but I'm on the verge of tears at the thought that my pre-diabetes isn't because I gained weight, and might actually be the reason that I gained weight.

I've tried working out and healthier eating, and I get like really bad what I like to call "cave man hunger delirium", where I quickly get so hungry that I have no will power to eat healthy. Anything I can get immediately needs to get in my mouth. And afterwards I feel so much regret and I'm beating myself up like "wow way to go, this is why you can't lose weight and how you have yourself your condition". And like, I know there has to be SOME sort of blood sugar problem causing this, because I literally get tunnel vision (yes, literally, my peripheral vision blurs out) and all semblance of logic goes out the window and I can't think straight and if it's bad enough I can't barely talk, and this whole time I thought I was just weak.

And if it's not me, then maybe I'm not as pathetic and worthless as I thought. Maybe I deserve a little more grace, because somewhere along the way I developed pre-diabetes, and it just made everything so much harder, but I keep trying anyways. Maybe I don't have to be so angry at myself for pushing the boulder every day.

fatphobia and ableism is so insidious. You can look up like, food, and it'll say "eating a lot of food causes diabetes" and you're like oh dang what? I thought we didn't know the cause of diabetes. So you look up what causes diabetes and it says "we still don't know what causes diabetes" bruh they're just making shit up to give people eating disorders

[aftermidnightbuckley]

in season 9 i want to see buck and eddie saving two best friends on a call and buck’s like no way we’re best friends too :))) and anyway somehow they end up going on a double date and then they realize the two best friends are actually in love with each other,,, and then they help them get together and afterwards they’re like wow we did a good job,,, must be nice to be in love with your best friend,,, haha anyways

[photsibutnot]

hear me out plz plz plzzz i love a ship where you have to do a double take at first glance to make sure its serious but then you actually think about it and it just clicks. like wow anyways this is probably not the last you'll see of me sorry heathers ppl

[laughroditee]

🔴 Bad Romance

Characters: Fem!Reader, the 141, König, and a cameo from Graves. 🔴 18+ MDNI Contents: isekai trope, over-the-top purple prose, romance novel parody, author has a thesaurus, heavy use of euphemisms, Y/N parody, fandom commentary, patriarchy commentary, I got jokes, wordplay, Nonsense by design, Intentional nonsense, Breaking the 4th wall, author got the ick, puns, sex. CW: explicit sex, PIV sex, unprotected sex, unrealistic amounts of cum, naughty sex words. TW: brief mention of spiders. Word Count: 2569 AO3 link

🤡🖤 This work is a parody and should not be taken seriously; please be appropriately whimsical. 🖤🤡

Mood Music:

It was a fine and sunny day the day that you died. You were leaving the library with a copy of some tattered old romance novel and Call of Duty: Modern Warfare II tucked against your chest when you were hit by a truck.

"Truck-kun! No! How could you?" you asked, wondering why you'd been subjected to such tyranny, but no one heard you because you were dead. Bummer.

As you saw the light that you've only heard about from other people — distinctly in the context that you should not go toward it — it engulfed you anyway because you had no agency as a dead person and also we needed to propel the plot forward. The light grew and grew until it blinded you.

And then you blinked.

Winter came to Frabjous Hall, home of the illustrious Archduke Talgai, blanketing the grounds with a carpet of white just in time for the Winter Ball. The glittering mandibles of the Christmas Day Spider hung, chittering, from the chandelier above, dripping with crystals and gems, but definitely not candles because spider webs are highly flammable and we're here to have a good time and not all die like Miss Havisham. The opulence in the room was overwhelming — you haven't seen such bling since you watched MTV Cribs — the decor and the guests alike were inordinately beautiful.

Including yourself. You looked down to find yourself dressed in an exquisite ball gown embroidered with gold and silver threads and encrusted in jewels, like your little sister had gotten hold of the Bedazzler again.

You wandered through the crowd of guests when a hush fell over the room. Following the gaze of the crowd, your attention was drawn up to the ballroom’s staircase where four gentlemen stood, waiting to be announced.

"Presenting Captain John Price," the crier stated very loudly so that everyone who hadn’t already shut their pie holes could hear.

You did a double-take. Surely not THAT John Price. But your squinting and neck-craning told you that it was indeed THAT John Price, friendly mutton chops and all.

"A hero back from the battle front!" you heard one guest nearby whisper excitedly.

That's amazing! You died and were now in a romance novel with Captain John Price from Activision's own hit game Call of Duty Modern Warfare II, available on PC, PS4, PS5, Xbox One, and Xbox Series X/S, whatever that is!

But the wonder did not stop there!

"Presenting Laird John MacTavish of the Clan Mactavish." The familiar mohawked figure, dressed in a formal kilt and jacket, descended the stairs to mingle with the guests quietly, his shapely calves turning the heads of both lords and ladies in equal measure.

Wow, it was Soap. You started to wonder what character you played in this story when you heard the next announcement.

"Presenting the Viscount de Chubeldedooble, Simon Riley." You didn’t actually catch the whole thing because you had horny time in your head, but your brain tried to fill in the gaps for you.

The Viscount was built like a brick shithouse but looked way better. Attractive in a very murdery way, his dour expression and hard eyes could only mean that this was Ghost. You didn’t even care that you’d never seen him in-game without a mask on, and this could literally be any other grumpy bear out there. No, you’d know those eyes anywhere. The kind that could strip the paint off the walls and your dress off your body at a mere glance. Besides, it had to be Ghost; the plot demanded it! Visions of Mr. Darcy flitted through your head as you imagined you and Ghost snug in his bed. Or maybe him snug in—

A sudden tension filled the room like everyone was about to have orgasms. "Presenting the Archduke of Talgai,” the crier announced, “the mononymous König.”

The room came alive with sudden chatter, and you realized it was more than just the Christmas Day Spider making such a hubbub. Everyone from all sides was murmuring about the Archduke of Talgai. He sure was a tal gai.

You watched, riveted, as his towering figure descended the staircase only to find his gaze fixed on yours with a hunger that said he hadn’t had his midday snacky yet.

Uh-oh.

There was something itching at the back of your mind, like someone else was supposed to be here, but you couldn’t quite place it, not with those arctic blue eyes boring into you like the Eye of Sauron in stereo.

“You,” the Austrian said as he cut through the throng, appearing bigly in front of you.

You stared up into his… well, his hood. You stared up into his hood, which blew in a phantom breeze as his long blonde hair (which took the place of his game-canonical military sniper helmet) was backlit in soft New Age lighting like a Yanni album cover. Basically he looked like if Fabio was a butterface.

“You will dance with me,” he said, his accent thick enough that you could almost feel it solidifying the air between you. It made your teeth ache and your heart race, and think that maybe you actually did have that biting kink.

“Uh,” you replied eloquently as he took your hand to escort you onto the dance floor. A sudden waltz started up, and he swirled you about the floor 1-2-3, 1-2-3, leading you expertly as if he himself invented the dance.

“You dance well,” he said as you fell all over every single step like the clumsy but beautiful maiden that you were.

“T-thank you, Your Grace,” you stuttered out as you stepped on his foot.

“Tell me your name.”

“My name? My name is Y/N.”

“Whaien? A name befitting a woman of such irresistible pulchritude, such as yourself.”

Just as you were about to thank him in a shy and demure manner, a footman tapped him on the shoulder. Or… on the back because there’s no way for a short king like him to tap a man the size of a mountain on the shoulder very easily without jumping.

“Your Grace, there seems to be a ruction at the door,” said the footman.

“A what?” the Archduke asked, glaring down at his servant in obvious annoyance.

“A ruction.”

“Erection?”

“No, Your Grace. A ruction. A quarrel.”

“Ah. Take care of it then, can you not see that I am currently engaged?”

The footman was nervous but would not give up. “Your Grace… The man will not leave until he sees you.”

With a heavy sigh, König nodded, bending down low to kiss your hand through his hood, which everyone just pretends is not there. Like, what’s with that?

“Forgive me, Lady Whaien. Wait for me, liebling; I shall return.”

A part of you preened inside over being put into the “worthy of a pet name” category, but the other part — the one with crippling social anxiety — realized that now everyone was staring daggers at you for your sudden elevated status. You, the poor, new, and very beautiful girl who was always abused and never loved because you were too pretty. The unfortunate, pitiful creature whose big, sad, and yearning eyes could do nothing but give men hard-ons against their will, and then they make their will your will.

Three women broke from the onlookers to approach you, their faces masks of propriety and cuntiness.

“Of what noble house, lady, are you?” asked the virago in the middle with the powdered wig. “If you even come from one,” she tittered behind her fluttering fan.

Twatty-Dee and Twatty-Dum tittered behind her, echoing her evil pink Regina George vibes.

Just as you were about to divulge all because you cave too easily under pressure, König returned, hip-checking all three women away in one go, and they vanished like a queef in a crowd.

“Liebchen, I have returned to save you from these truculent shrews!” he exclaimed, tossing his mane of hair over his shoulder as choirs of angels sang in the background.

“Truc— Truck-kun??” you gasped in surprise, reminded of your untimely demise. “My hero!” you swooned, and he scandalously pulled you up against his hard body. You could feel his cock twitch in his pants as if dancing to Mambo Number 5. But a little bit of Monica would have to wait; something in his eyes said he had to tell you something.

“Yes, I am. But there is something I must tell you.”

Damn, you were right. “What is it, Your Grace?” you asked, leaning in to make sure you didn’t miss a word.

“I am unequivocally, unquestionably, absolutely, unambiguously, straightforwardly, explicitly, conclusively, definitively wildly in love with you.”

“Oh, Your G–” He mashed his index finger over your lips, halting your speech.

“Unconditionally,” he continued, “in God’s most pure, unimpeachable, and immaculate love.”

“Oh… so like–”

“And before you profess your love in return to me, I must confess that I am not who you think I am, though my heart is unwavering–”

“Yes, your unimpeachable love. Got it,” you said. “Then who are you really?”

He gazed down at you, thumbs skimming your cheekbones as he cupped your face, and then he reached up and pulled off his hood and blonde wig, revealing himself as none other than Kyle "Gaz" Garrick! A heavenly light surrounded him, even brighter than before!

You gasped because the light was so bright that it made your eyes water, and you’re pretty sure it just did permanent damage to your retinas, your hand going to your heaving bosom. “But how did you become so tall?” you asked wondrously, blinking the colored afterimages away.

“I've been standing on Phillip Graves the entire time,” he replied. You looked down and, sure enough, there the American was, on hands and knees like an ottoman. “Ma'am,” he said.

“Now, let us away, my darling!” the Archduke said as he hopped down from Graves’ back and took your hands, pulling you into his arms as he rocketed from the room and down the labyrinthine ways of Frabjous Hall.

The Archduke’s rooms were marked by a sumptuous luxury that set his suite apart from the rest of the already-lavish estate. A gilded king-sized four-poster bed stood beckoning in the middle of the room, its ornate Baroque frame carved with the heads of angels and devils alike, and you knew that you would surely be shown both the ecstasy of Heaven and the sins of Hell atop its plush mattress.

“Now,” Kyle said lowly, cupping your face again, “where were we?” His eyes gleamed with a dangerous mixture of lust and mannishness.

“I believe, Your Grace,” you said, “that I was about to profess my love for you.”

He gave you a cheeky grin. “Well, let's hear it then.”

You felt your cheeks warm and squeezed your eyes shut. “I… I love you, Kyle Garrick!”

He chuckled warmly, and you opened your eyes to find him gazing at you with such tenderness that it could break your heart.

“Then let us forge our love in the flames of passion!” Stepping back, he reached down and revealed his purple-headed knight to you.

"But how did you find a helmet so small?" you wondered aloud.

"I hired the best blacksmith in the land," he replied, letting you marvel at the masterwork craftsmanship. Then he released the small chap, and he galloped away on his noble, albeit tiny, steed.

And then he pulled out his cock. “I just need to set my alarm for tomorrow morning,” he explained as he set the rooster down on the nightstand. “Busy day, lots to do.” The fowl promptly buggered off. “And now, dear maiden, I shall pluck your flower. But first, to remove your petals.”

Shucking your clothes off as if you were an ear of corn, the susurration of fabric folds filled the air as the layers of your dress were discarded in a heap, leaving your voluptuous body bare. Your perfectly clear and flawless skin glowed in the candlelight, as his eyes raked over your bathykolpian form with darkening eyes.

Moving closer, he kissed your lips gently, making you shiver.

“What are you doing, Your Grace?” you asked as he stood up.

“I was just saying hello to The Duchess, of course,” he replied, and then he kissed your mouth, his tongue rasslin’ yours like a gator in the bayou. He slowly broke the kiss, a stream of saliva connecting your lips, which made the author cringe openly. He rested his forehead on yours, gazing into your large and depthless eyes as his hand on your hip started to move over the fleshy globes of your callipygian body.

“By God above, you tempt me, Whaien.”

Parting your velvet curtains, he dipped his finger inside your honeypot, bringing his digit back up to his mouth. “Sweet,” he said roughly as he licked the sticky substance off.

“I keep it with me in case I get hungry,” you confessed, closing the jar of honey. “Or in case there is a sudden tea party.”

The Archduke gathered you up in his strong arms and carried you to the bed, laying you down on the covers. He wasted no time removing his clothes, and he stood before you, his throbbing manhood jutting proudly from his hips.

“Oh my!” you exclaimed innocently as if you hadn’t just been watching COD-themed porn the day before you died.

Kyle grinned and climbed on top of you, settling between your spread legs. He entered you like an intrusive thought — specifically like the non-deadly ones where you're only thinking about peepees — his heat-seeking missile sheathing itself in your weeping love channel.

Once his rod was fully ensconced within your hot taco, he let out a rumbling groan as you gasped.

“Your Grace’s manhood is surely the largest I've ever seen!” you cried out.

“Yes,” he moaned as he stuffed you full again like a Thanksgiving Day turkey. “I know.”

His thrusts grew stronger and faster, sending waves of pleasure through you both and you wrapped your legs around him, eager for another plunge of his rigid member.

“Ride ‘em, cowboy!” you urged, and he neighed.

“Come for me, Whaien!” he demanded, finding your nub. He smashed your like button, your cunt becoming bewitched by his perfect prick, and your orgasm was snatched from your depths like those alien toys in the crane game from Toy Story.

“I'm having a great time!” you declared.

Kyle looked down in satisfaction as he felt your pussy pulsate around his shaft, and he continued his rhythmic movements, plowing into your fertile fields until he, too, came with a roar, painting your insides with his baby juice.

“Yes, Kyle! More!” you shrieked, writhing in sheer ecstasy beneath him. It was like your pussy was on fire and the only thing that would put it out was more cum.

“Yes, my love!” And so he came even harder, jizzing like a spasmodic geyser of virility until he filled you so much that the internal pressure sent him shooting across the room, his back hitting the wall with a slap.

“Damn, not again,” he muttered, pulling himself off of the floor.

He approached the bed smiling at you laying like a pampered cat, running his fingers through his bank deposit, pleased at turning your gummy cunny into a runny cunny.

And you all lived happily ever after.

Achievement Unlocked: Banged Kyle Garrick.

[cipheramnesia]

Dezzy gets a lot of her information about human social habits through observation, so she kind of thinks Ollie is someone with a reasonable grasp of romantic involvement. After all, Ollie is always reading those romance stories, sometimes when it's late and/or she's inebriated she talks about her aspirations, and it all sounds very complicated to Dezzy.

Like they'd be on some long caravan between cities and she, that is to say Dezzy, just wanders around at night bothering everyone and while they're moving she's making conversation with some very minor Lady, who obviously doesn't want to spend all day talking to a giant (for a rat) albino rat who smells alarmingly like beef jerky. But Dezzy, that is to say the rat, is at least polite and the Lady reads her inquisitive nature as polite and deferential. So when it comes out that she's getting "shipped off by mummy and daddy to marry some dreadfully boring Duke Leo, or Theo, or something," Dezzy becomes intrigued.

"Oh, was his rescue insufficiently daring, or perhaps inadequately dashing? Please, I would be delighted to learn about the circumstances of your capture and subsequent rescue!"

So, obviously, the lady is confused, like, "Pardon you? My capture?"

"Why yes! According to my good friend Ollie, in courtship, humans must have at least individuals involved - when one wishes to court another, a human will announce this intention through an abduction! Ollie says that usually this matter is handled by darkly handsome pirates." Rubbing her chin thoughtfully. "But sometimes it may be a charming bandit... Anyway, the suitor must then prove their suitability as a mate by retrieving whoever they are courting from this other party. I've noticed like many other creatures, these rituals can often be quite violent! And the- the courtee? The courtee may opt to select their kidnapper in lieu of the suitor, which Ollie says actually her favorite, but I simply do not understand how you-"

The Lady, incredibly bored. "Oh wow. How amazing. That must be why my parents shoved me off on a road trip to Duke what'shisnuts' son."

"Aha. That is most peculiar. Perhaps we can locate your abductors! Ollie, Ollie, wake up, there is a mystery afoot!"

Zoning out watching the scenery Ollie is like half drooling and snorts out of her stupor confused and lost and like "Are we there yet? Are there bandits?"

"No Ollie, this young woman was just telling me how she has yet to undertake the kidnapping part of courtship, the one from your books."

"From my whu... No, what, no-no-no, haahhh, Dezzy can we talk?" Ollie being in full flop sweat panic mode.

Meanwhile the Lady is looking at Ollie while plotting bisexually over how pissed off her mom would be if she showed up back home in the arms of some complete dropout punk, "Why as a matter of fact, your rodent friend raises a good point - Ollie, is it?"

But Ollie is oblivious to even the most overt romantic overtures, she's just dead ass staring at this person who is like, talking to her normally instead of yelling for the maître d to have her removed, she's like sinking away. "Uh... right how."

"I think if you and I just pretend to be already betrothed it would be just the perfect way for the Duke of snoresville to win back my heart and show his true love."

Dezzy is like nodding along the whole time smiling while Ollie shakes her head no and finally grabs Dezzy and, "We-we-I-I can't beeeecause. Because. Because weeee... are-are married! Yes. This is my wife... rat. Person. Who I married."

"But, we aren't-" and Ollie just clamps her hand over Dezzy's muzzle like, "Yup! Ha haa. Married person here, I sure wish we could help. I just love my... my rat... toooo much." The whole time Dezzy is making muffled protests.

"Don't worry," sez the Lady, "It would all be a pretend betrothal. Just so mummy and daddy know my future husband is devoted." Ollie looking back and forth from Dezzy's hopeful face to the Lady... something, she has no idea what the expression she's making is about. All she knows for sure is that Dezzy just let a perfect stranger talk her into being abducted.

My newest obsession is a rat girl made for Pathfinder2e. She's leucistic, with white hair and red eyes, and she dresses in all black just like a tiny, furry Elric of Melnoboné, but all she wants to do is teach you about maths.

[dflogerzi]

Charles... Let's Talk.

Yeah I know, you are the big leagues and you will never see this. I am this little American nobody off in her little non-important life in my own tiny corner of the world. But I have your number. I have actually had it for decades, and I am going to unleash.

Do you not think that some of us do not know what you truly are? I get the whole bit that you have cancer, you are suffering, and we need to be compassionate. Okay. And I do feel compassion, and I am very sorry for your illness. But here goes anyway because I am SO over it. And by that I am speaking of the never-ending drama with Harry.

What does Harry have on you? Because the only reason I can really see, and I am not buying the 'you love the dear boy' thing, he must have some heavy juice. I am going with blackmail. And do not think Charles that I have not done my homework, gone down rabbit holes... I know stuff. Many of us know who you once ran with and the history is recorded.

Harry is a nasty, horrible, disgusting traitor that will do anything to bring in a buck... other than to earn it with honor. He is going to unleash the secrets. And you will have your legacy in tatters either now or later. You look fully weak, and kicking the can down the road is not a good look. Not that anyone, anywhere expected anything different from you at all. I should not speak for others and I apologize for that, but wow. It is completely evident that the whole 'never explain or complain' thing is somewhat working, but not exactly. We all remember the strong and decisive moves that took a king down in a history not that long ago. What is happening now is FAR more explosive and worrying. Edward VIII is kind of looking like a good guy in the scheme of things.

Give it to William. And my suggestion is to do it soon. Because the media is chomping at the bit to tell all the truths. We can all feel it. A thousand-year legacy is on the brink of ending. I am guessing William is ready to step up, or gladly step out. I grew up loving the tales and fables of yore which is why I am even writing this or caring. I actually now would be happy to see him just say to hell with it, take his babe and his kids and go live in the countryside happy, safe and in joy. William, you do you and I am going to just feel the happiness of it. But hopefully you will not have to. I have known in your whole life which I watched with love and care that you will one day wear the crown. But I want for you the happiness and fulfillment that your wonderful life choices have created for you. Just look at what you have manifested. I am so proud of you, and I send you all my love.

Charles, I was there in London on your wedding day to Diana. I have really tried to like you for most of my adult life. You made that in most decades really hard to do.

It is time. Deal.

To my friends. Sorry. I am being annoying again. But this is my blog and I get to do that. What the heck. Love me or leave me? I have had this vent brewing for a while.

I guess I feel better. Will let you know...

[grinnames]

RTV Tour Part 4: "Grinnangst"

Grinnames POV

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@rtv-puzzlevision-studios

@michaelscorneroftheinternet

@scimagic

@lrayasostripes

CW: Robo-gore, grief

This is my first time writing grief, I hope I did ok! Strap in folks, because this is a lot-

Battle theme, for a better immersive experience

Grinnames: Robots huh? Alright, BRING IT ON YA CLANKERS! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-

Grinnames laughed as the chaos of battle broke out. This was her element, the thrill of conflict fueled her. Her tentacles lunged forward deftly like four giant snakes, knocking down and impaling any of the cowboy robots they could reach.

She wasn’t able to fly with her tentacles in their true forms, because they were too heavy. But they could sure as hell lift her up like a spider’s legs, giving her the higher ground anyway. She hung in the air, twisting and turning in some beautifully dangerous dance as her tentacles wreaked havoc. 

Two of them tried to grab her, and one of them shot at her, but the bullets and blows were absorbed by her weapons with lightning-quick reaction and precision, though she felt them recoil and weaken from taking the damage. She looked out from behind her massive tendrils shielding her, and bared her teeth, taunting them before swiping them away.

Another one managed to sever one tentacle with a blade, and she hissed as she was thrown off balance from one of her supports suddenly being cut off. The robot was immediately finished off by the other unsevered tentacle. And yet another was tossed up before being pummeled into a wall with a satisfying crunch.

Looking over her shoulder, she saw the meme guardian being cornered by one of the machines and narrowed her eyes. She couldn’t have him die before she got to interrogate him. Smirking, she sent two of her remaining tentacles to bash the robot aside before it could choke SMG4 to death. The tentacles grabbed it by the neck and legs, and tore it in half like a piece of bread.

SMG4 rubbed his neck, but his gaze was off to the side. 

SMG4: Thanks…

Grinnames: Haha, welcome! Now you definitely owe me! Never thought I’d have to fight alongside a meme guardian…

Grinnames didn’t waste anymore time, and then jumped back into the fray, cackling the whole time. Man, breaking stuff felt so good. It felt good to let herself loose. She had missed this-!

She sobered up slightly, though not enough to make her hesitate. She caught herself in the high, realizing where her train of thought was going. Shaking her head, she focused on ending the fight. She would not be that kind of person anymore.

…

“Wow, I’ve got to say. I am impressed. You actually defeated me! One point to you!”

Grinnames put her foot through the head of one more robot, and then looked up to see that Lucian was nursing a deep wound to his neck. 

Grinnames: Oof… that’s gotta hurt. Eh, anything can be fixed with some beer and some bandages! I’ve seen lots of good men get right back up-

Lucian: Open the damn door, Wr3n. 

WR3N: “You’re more than capable of that. Though, I gotta say, I’m not quite satisfied yet. How about another game?”

Grinnames: Bruh, you’re only delaying the inevitable. But sure, I’ll bite! 

Lucian gestures for Grinnames for help to open the gate. Grinnames cracks her knuckles, and grips with her tentacles at the edges of the steel gate.The door was heavier and more stuck than she had expected, but slowly but surely, she could feel it peeling back open. She had to admit, Mr. Puzzles had a pretty solid, but very unnecessary security. She would have mistaken this studio for a military base had she not been on the tour. Why the heck was the security so tight?! 

Ah right. Supervillain. Speaking of:

WR3N: Oh, I know! This one is a favorite of mine. The floor is lava in 120…119…

Grinnames: Oh no.

Lucian: Guys…Guys, we need to move. Control room. NOW. That maniac is gonna fry the floor! 

Grinnames: Okokok gogogogo!

Grinnames put more force into her tentacles and broke the gate with a labored gasp. Lucian wrenched it open immediately. Grinnames was the first to go in after him, and looked frantically out into the hall, hoping that no one would be left behind. 

Grinnames: C’mon c’mon c’mon GUYS! MOVE IT!

WR3N: 10…9…8…7..6…5…4…3…

Lucian: CLOSE THE DOOR!

The door slammed shut, and Grinnames winced at the sound of crackling electricity coming from outside, muffled by the metal barrier. She internally cringed when she imagined what might have happened if someone was left out there. She would be fine, since she could fly, but she was sure that this AI that she now knew was called WR3N would have found some way to bring her to the floor.

WR3N: Would you look at that, you actually did it! Color me impressed!

In the next second, the sound of the door locking could be heard.

WR3N: Now stay there.

Great, now she’s stuck again. She hopes that the people in the health department are doing better than this. She grumbled curses under her breath. Meanwhile, Lucian had dragged himself to the control panel and pulled down a lever.

Lucian: Lockdown is lifted. But I can’t shut down Wr3n. Sorry, guys, we are the safest here.

Grinnames breathed in a tired sigh, as the adrenaline wore off. She cupped her face in her hands and rubbed it, massaging her eyes. It seemed that she wasn’t as strong as she used to be, she usually wouldn’t be so winded right now. She really was getting rusty. Might as well take a moment of respite while she could. And besides, there was a certain someone she needed answers from. She had the feeling that she would not get any more chances besides this.

First, she unfurled and put away her tentacles to save energy, leaving them in ribbon form once more. After taking a few minutes to catch her breath, Grinnames walks up to SMG4, who has crawled away into one corner of the room.

Grinnames: Hey. Meme guardian. So. I heard that you nearly destroyed the world. (whisper shouts) The heck were you thinking?! Are you crazy?!

SMG4: Huh-!?

Grinnames: You nearly killed the avatar. You know- you know what happens when the avatar dies, no? Or are you just ignorant?

SMG4: You probably won’t believe me, but I didn’t try to kill Mario. Wait a second, how do you know about the avatar?

Grinnmames: I’m asking the questions here! Are you crazy, yes or no? How many fingers am I holding up? (She holds up four fingers)

SMG4: …I don’t think that’s how it works.

Grinnames: You’re right, a crazy person doesn’t know they’re crazy. Look, I’m just trying to make sense of what’s happening right now, because my brain has been screwing with me all day. Just… tell me what happened that day.

…

Grinnames: Let me get this straight. You are not crazy. And you didn’t try to kill Mario. And Mr. Puzzles framed you, and you are completely innocent?

SMG4: Y-yes! I am!

Grinnames: I see… well at this point I’d believe you more than the insanely suspicious TV head-

Grinnames is too preoccupied with talking to SMG4 to notice until it’s too late.

...

"... Guess just see you later... Sorry it had to be you again..."

”Tragic. This is not the first time this happened, huh?”

Grinnames suddenly hears the sound of metal twisting and breaking, and something clattering to the floor. She feels her ribbons cry out to her in alarm, and she abruptly looks up to a terrible sight. Micheal is standing near the security computers, with one arm messily torn off. From where she’s sitting, she can’t see his face, but she can see that he’s facing the fish lady from earlier.

Grinnames: Hey, WHAT-

”You know, looking at his memory, he does think rather highly of you. As a friend even.”

Wr3n Micheal chuckled, before grabbing into the mangled arm stump, ripping out a few cables and wires, causing one side of the body to go limp and have him lean on the panel.

Grinnames: MICHEAL, WHAT ARE YOU DOING. THAT IS YOUR FREAKING ARM- HEY! Don’t make it worse!! (She’s getting up and pushing through the crowd)

”Yet you still allow him to meet such a fate several times. What kind of friend are you to save your own life but not his?”

Grinnames realizes something is wrong here. Why is he laughing while he takes himself apart?!

Grinnames: What are you yapping about?! Q-quit it!

The Siren shakily sighed through her nose, side-eyeing the crowd through the corner of her eye before looking back at Michael. She murmurs something that Grinnames can’t hear, but Grinnames can see a look of resignation settling over her face... and an amused smirk on Micheal's.

”Or maybe you are too much of a coward to speak up.”

Grinnames: …You’re not Micheal-!

Wr3n now moved the remaining hand to the jaw.

”It’s been fun, but I have to check on the other group as well. Bye.~”

With that he ripped off the jaw, before pointing two fingers against his head.

Grinnames: !!!!!

In the next second, the logo side of the glass went blank as Wr3n wiped Michael’s memory and executed a kill command. The robot’s mangled body now slid off the panel, falling to the floor in a puddle of wires and oil.

Sad Background Music

Grinnames stared for a long, long moment at the mangled robot that was once her friend. She felt her body moving forward, and everything else faded away into static around her. She stood there for what felt like too long. She barely felt the dull thud and pain as her legs gave way and dropped her to the floor in a kneeling position.

Grinnames was no stranger to violence. She had lived violence, breathed it as naturally as oxygen, once upon a time, in order to survive. Even if she had changed her ways now, and had left that life behind, she would never forget the destruction, whether it was by her own hand or someone else’s. 

With violence being a glaring constant for most of her life, Grinnames wasn’t used to having friends. For most of her life, she had never allowed herself to get attached to anyone. A creature like herself could not afford to form anything meaningful with another sentient being. That was, until only a few years ago, when she had finally worked up the resolve to open herself up to others around her. She wanted to heal. She wanted to change. She didn’t want to be lonely anymore.

She hadn’t known Micheal for that long. She knew that they weren’t that close yet, and she knew nothing of his past and the deeper aspects of his character, but she would whole-heartedly call him her friend. She genuinely liked having him around, and it was as simple as that. She knew what he liked, and how he acted. She would go out of her way to go see him. She wanted to share more of her life with him one day… but now that was all taken away.

Violence may have been very familiar to her, but loss was not. 

She felt a part of her break inside, something that she hadn’t felt in a long, long time. Maybe she was getting softer… or maybe it was because she had allowed herself to be soft.

Grinnames: Micheal. Hey, you can get up now. This joke isn’t funny anymore.

Grinnames: Dude… come on, y-you can’t be doing this to me right now. 

Grinnames: Please… no. Nonononono, this can’t be happening…!

Grinnames suddenly feels wetness pricking up in her eyes. She reaches up and wipes away a tear, not knowing why it’s there. Stunned, she looks down at the shiny stain the tear has left on her claws. 

Grinnames: I’m…crying…? Why am I…

Grinnames: …Ah… so this… this is loss. 

Grinnames: I never thought I’d get attached this easily…!

It starts as a quiet weeping. Grinnames struggles to keep her composure, but her walls are cracking apart. Her feelings inevitably overwhelm her…and then she finally breaks.

Grinnames: Why wasn’t I faster?! Why couldn’t I see the signs?!

…I’m sorry, Grinnames. I couldn’t foresee this either.

Grinnames: I protected everyone… except you… 

You did all you could. 

Grinnames: ...Why didn't you tell me anything...? You could have at least gone to the suicide hotline... they would have helped you through!

...

She’s reduced to a sobbing mess on the floor, hunched over, hands over her eyes. But as her body is shaken by her sobs, she feels a presence. Like someone is trying to give her a hug, or trying to comfort her but doing so from very far away. But no one is physically there. 

Grinnames wanted to stay there on the floor and keep sobbing, to allow herself to openly express the pain she felt. She wanted time to work through her emotions. But like always, like every single time before, she knew her emotions would have to wait for now. She knew that she and the group were still in danger. She needed to ground herself quickly now.

Deep breaths.

Grinnames breathed in a shaky breath, cursing inwardly at a hiccup that wracked it. Her chest gratefully expanded, and she consciously held the breath there, before releasing it as gently as she could.

You’re doing great. I’m here for you.

Grinnames: …Who are you…?

…A friend. Someone that cares for you very much.

Grinnames: …That’s… sweet. Why are you in my head?

I was always there. But it’s a little complicated. It was only recently that I was able to make you hear me.

Grinnames: …Always, huh? Then you must know everything. Or I’m going crazy.

Yeah, I know everything. And I know that you’re not THAT crazy, hehehe...

Grinnames feels herself calming down, the voice increasing its presence in her mind and giving her some distorted, but real company. She didn’t understand why, but she somehow felt a little less alone.

I’m really sorry. There is only so much I know, and I wasn’t able to tell you about Micheal. 

Grinnames: ...Well, you’re just a voice in my head. And I don’t always listen. 

It’s fine really. I don’t always expect you to listen. But for now, I’ll listen to you. It’s the least I can do for you.

Grinnames: …Can you give me time to think? I'd just like to… feel out my feelings. No talking.

Okay. I’ll still be here for you.

The voice fell silent, but Grinnames could still feel the presence wrapping itself around her psyche. She fell into a deep melancholy, her sobs not as intense as before, but her breathing was still tight and tears still flowed down her cheeks. In the darkness of the security room, she knelt, hunched over, and hugged herself, gathering her ribbons around herself to obscure her face, hoping that not too many people were looking at her. 

She pulled out some cookie dough out of her belt, and began to shape the amorphous mass into a familiar shape. Working with her hands helped her think.

Micheal hadn’t even died as himself. He was taken over by some… digital-entity thing. What had happened between him and the fish-lady? Something about the way he spoke, the smugness and amusement she felt coming from him... seemed very very familiar. What was it reminding her of...?

She furrowed her brow, searching her memories. Who was a smug little bastard, currently their enemy, and could possibly hack machines-

...WR3N.

You got it.

She jumped a little when Mr. Puzzles’s voice suddenly blared from the intercom, and the camera feed showing the Health Department showed up on every screen in the control room. 

RTV: “I invited you, gave you a CHOICE and the second, one small thing goes WRONG, you backstab me. You think this is all just a fun little EVENT, don’t you? What, you think there won’t be consequences for your choices?”

Grinnames: Mr. Puzzles…

A low growl builds in her throat.

Yeah, I know there are consequences. Ironically, that's the whole fun of it.

He let out a dry laugh, the back of the chair breaking off from how tight he had grabbed it.

RTV: “It’s a SHAME the votes were anonymous, because now, you all will have to PAY for the majority.”

Turning back to the rest of the group in the Health Department now, he folded his hands behind his back.

RTV: I offer you a SINCERE apology, but I need to send a message to the people BEHIND you. Consider this some kind of vengeance for yourself as well because I’m sure they did not vote in your best interest either.

Ah, sh*t.

Grinnames: Huh-?

RTV: (chuckles coldly) Otherwise we wouldn’t be here.

RTV: (points at Animsay) We will have a talk LATER.

In the control room, the surveillance feed now switched to showing his face.

RTV: Nobody here is leaving. Not before we made some things CLEAR. So, step on through.

With that, each screen in the control room and the Health Department now displayed static, before switching to showcase a blue and purple location with TVs hanging on the walls.

However, there was something unusual about it…

“You can go through…”, Lucian now sighed back in the control room to his group, his voice slightly lighter than usual thanks to the blood loss. “He wants you to enter his TV dimension.”

In the time it took for RTV Puzzles to run his mouth, Grinnames had shaped, baked, and taken a bite out of a freshly baked Micheal cookie as an expression of her grief. It really helped her cope. But looking at it still hurt.

She holds the cookie close, taking in a deep breath. She sends one final silent prayer.

Grinnames: I hope Micheal’s gone to heaven and met Robo-Jesus. Godspeed Micheal, and may your W's be many and your L's few-

She’s barely given a chance to prepare before she is suddenly grabbed by her ribbons and pulled through the screen.

…

When RTV pulls her in, he notices that Grinnames is holding a cookie shaped like one of the participants, the taller man with a half-shaved haircut, mismatched glasses, and (annoyingly) wide smile. He also notices the obvious tear-tracks all over her cheeks, and she was still sniffling. …What had just happened? He probably gathers that this particular participant (Micheal, was it?) was the one who was “terminated.”

Grinnames blinks in astonishment at the TV Dimension. Isekai…? Seriously?

Grinnames stares the cookie for one last moment, before stuffing it away into her belt with an eerily calm sigh.

Grinnames: Ok ok, I’m good now. Mostly. I’m ready for lore now. (sniffs)

And then she slowly turns around, to face her perpetrator. She sees Mr. Puzzles, his face all damaged and glitchy from being shot in the head. She stares at him, giving him this worn out, miserable look. Her face quickly twists into an angry snarl.

And then she rolls up the skin on her arm like a sleeve, revealing a black void underneath that looked like thousands upon thousands of tangled, dark string. Her ribbons wrap around her arm to form a big monster paw, fitted with long, dagger-like claws, which she clenched into a fist.

Grinnames: YOUR GODBOX-FORSAKEN AI KILLED MY FRIEND, YOU A**HOLE! 

She swung at him with grief-striken fury, and her fist connects with his screen, sending him staggering back through the empty space.

Grinnames: WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO SAY FOR YOURSELF, HUH?! 

Mr. Puzzles only gave her this cold, unsympathetic glare, as if this was all just an inconvenience to him. He had barely flinched from the blow. With sudden speed and power, he had grabbed her by the neck. 

RTV: Your friend killed HIMSELF by putting his nose in things that don’t concern him.

Grinnames: You bastard-! YOU TAKE THAT BACK-

And then Mr. Puzzles then THREW her. 

Grinnames screams as she flies across the TV dimension. Since there is no gravity here, she’s thrown FAR. She rights herself in the air by throwing her arms and legs out (because she can fly) and glares at the distant form of Mr. Puzzles.

She zooms back, raring to go. She rolls back her other skin sleeve, and transforms her other arm. The rest of her belt unravels, and the loose ribbons coil up and lengthen into her last two tentacles tentacles. (two is all she can manage for now, it takes more resources to form two monster hands)

Once Grinnames makes it back to the group, she barely registers the other participants. She can only see Mr. Puzzles, looking down at them all.

How dare he just stand there, as if someone didn’t just die?! She should tear him a new one. She wanted to break his face and rip out whatever vulnerable, weak parts were hiding inside. She wanted to-

Rayas: ...Grinnames?

The beast snapped her head up and came face to face with Rayas. Rayas looks up at her in surprise, and Grinnames sees the faintest hint of fear flitting across her wide, concerned gaze. She realizes that she was breathing heavily, her clothes and hair were askew and ruffled, her horns had lengthened, veins were visible on her face, and her teeth were extra sharp. Her eyes were still glistening and wet, and her cheeks still had evidence of her sadness.

She suddenly became very self-conscious, and her once-hardened face smoothed out in remorse.

Grinnames: A-ah, Rayas, I’m sorry, you shouldn’t have to see me like this-

But Rayas only opens her umbrella and puts it over her, only looking at her with sympathy. No words were needed for Grinnames to know that even though Rayas didn’t completely know what happened, she was there for her.

Grinnames: …thank you.

Grinnames’s threat display melted away as she let herself be comforted… for now. Her big claws still remained, and she was sure she still looked like a hobo, but at least her posture was less tense, and her head was clearer.

Blinking away her tears, she finally becomes aware of everyone else joining her in the TV dimension.

Grinnames: …I can’t let anyone else die. 

Grinnnames steels herself for what's to come. Whatever happens next... she would not make this easy for this villainous TV star.

We need to find Channel 999-

TO BE CONTINUED…

Hooo boy I feel physically exhausted from writing and drawing this

Grinnames Lore!

Her ribbons are particularly sensitive to movement, like a cat’s whiskers, and they help her be very, very quick and precise when she strikes.

She can store things in her belt... tentacles... ribbons... thing. Like cookie dough.

Her ribbons/tentacles are actually coming out of her body, she just disguises them as a belt made of ribbons to look more presentable and fashionable

Normally, when Grinnames summons her heavier tentacles, she loses the ability to fly, because of the added weight. But now there is no gravity here to weigh her down...

MORE DARK BACKSTORY: violence edition! Grinnames was a bad girl...

[tgmsunmontue]

A picture is worth 1000 words - 19/20

Hangster post-TGM events, Jake and Bradley becoming friends on Instagram through increasingly competitive thirst traps.

ONE TWO THREE FOUR FIVE SIX SEVEN EIGHT NINE TEN ELEVEN TWELVE THIRTEEN FOURTEEN FIFTEEN SIXTEEN SEVENTEEN EIGHTEEN

PART NINETEEN

                “Uncle Rooster! I want to draw you a picture…”

                Bradley’s head snaps up, because one of those names is brand new, but the other got his attention. The combination from Lexis has him stuttering out some form of reply he doesn’t even know, completely unable to come up with a coherent response as Lexis drags him toward the table covered in paper and coloring things. He’s never thought about kids, not even as nieces or nephews. As an only child he’d always figured it was a moot point.

                Now, with Lexis giving him pointers on his choice of markers, her calling him Uncle Rooster again, Andy copying her and then demanding to sit on his other side while he draws has him realizing he might get to have this as well. He looks up from his drawing to see Jake taking the seat opposite him at the table, expression pensive. He feels Jake’s foot poke his and he raises an eyebrow in query.

                “What?”

                “You good?” Jake asks, and Bradley frowns, not sure what or why he’s asking. “Uncle Rooster?” Jake asks, and Bradley expects him to be grinning except he’s not. Instead, he’s reached for a piece of paper and is writing on it, ripping it off and then reaching across the table to give it to him.

                “Passing notes?” Bradley asks, rolling his eyes and he can tell Jake wants to give him the finger but is resisting because Lexis and Andy are sitting either side of him. He unfolds the piece of paper and reads the few words;

                I can ask them not to call you that.

                He immediately shakes his head.

                “No. It’s good. It’s fine. I like it.”

                The smile Jake gives him is slow but warm and he feels Jake’s foot run up his calf.

                “Yeah?”

                “Yeah,” Bradley confirms, licking his lips, fully aware of Jake tracking the movement, silent amusement on his face now, but he’s no longer looking worried so Bradley takes that as a win.

                “Good. You want a coffee?”

                “I want a fluffy!” Andy declares, quickly followed by Lexis saying “Me too!” and Bradley looks to Lexis and Andy and then at Jake, who is grinning at them widely.

                “What the – uh, what’s a fluffy?”

                “Frothed milk. With a side of marshmallows. You guys know the rules, you have to pay the barista… and ask nicely.”

                “Do I have to pay the barista?” Bradley asks.

                “Oh, I’m sure we can work out a payment plan…” Jake says with a wink and Bradley snorts, shakes his head but he’s smiling.

                “You have to draw Uncle Jake a picture… please can I have a fluffy Uncle Jake?”

                “Of course you can darlin’, and I look forward to my picture there Rooster…”

                Bradley looks down at the blank piece of paper in front of him and pulls a face, then feels a small hand on his arm.

                “It’s okay Uncle Rooster, I’ll help you…”

                “Thanks.”

…            …            …

                “Wow Lexis, that’s gorgeous. Maybe I can change my profile picture…”

                “Those are fighting words Rooster. You even know how?” Jake teases, but he’s placing a soft kiss to the side of his face as he places a mug of coffee in the center of the table where it’s unlikely to get knocked by small hands.

                “I can figure it out,” Bradley laughs, because he’s actually feeling pretty adept now at using Instagram.

                “What is your picture anyway? It’s very blurry…”

                “Oh, it’s a type of beer Nat and I found in Vietnam. Rooster Beers. I became quite partial to the blonde…”

                “Did you now?” Jake asks, shit eating grin on his face, but it morphs quickly into the happy face scrunch Bradley’s starting to become familiar with when Jake is… relaxed. Happy. He’s going back into the kitchen, coming back with little mugs on plates for Lexis and Andy but Bradley’s eyes don’t leave Jake.

                “Yeah. I did. I do.”

[sunday-bug]

Happy Accident epilogue

Pairing: Congressman Bucky x pregnant!girlfriend reader

These can be read as oneshots, but if you want to read in order, check out below ⬇️

Part one | Part two | Part three | Part four | Part five | Epilogue

Word count: 1.6k

Content: fluff & sweetness, brief mention of the death of a parent, breastfeeding

Synopsis: Sam, Sarah, the boys, and your dad come celebrate Thanksgiving with you & Bucky and get to meet the baby.

This is the last part of my first completed little series. I hope you've enjoyed reading it as much as I've enjoyed writing it. I want to credit the idea for this epilogue to @foreverchangingmind - thank you for the inspiration <3

Fortunately, you’d planned to celebrate Thanksgiving on the Sunday following the actual holiday, so you had a few blissful days at home with just Bucky and your newborn. Your little bubble. You both decided to not even announce the birth and surprise everyone when they arrived. Bucky had been slaving away in the kitchen, letting you rest on the couch with the little one. 

Thankfully everyone was bringing a side dish, but Bucky was in charge of the turkey. The house smelled incredible - sage, pumpkin, just warm and cozy overall. Baby James was snoozing away on your chest, scrunched into a little ball of sweetness. 

Bucky walked in with a forkful of stuffing, “Open!” You gladly taste test his work. “It’s perfect, babe,” you assure him. He sits down next to you and kisses James’s head softly. 

“Hopefully he’ll wake up by the time everyone gets here,” he says, rubbing his little back. The baby makes a quiet noise and nuzzles further into your chest.

“If not, I’ll wake him up to see if he’s hungry. I want to make sure everyone gets to see him,” you say with a soft smile. “Thanks, baby, for cooking and just everything. This is perfect.” 

Bucky kisses your head and walks back to the kitchen, whistling an old tune. “You’re welcome. I like cookin’, anyway, doll.” You hear him shuffling around in the kitchen, the sound of water boiling, and the hiss of something going in a hot pan. “Do you need any water or anything, love? I know everyone else will be drinking wine,” he says with a shrug, walking back around the corner to you. You nod and smile again. “It’s okay. I don’t want to pump and dump. Not worth the hassle. I’m going to gorge on mashed potatoes. Those are better than any wine could be anyway, especially when you’re the one cooking them.” Bucky chuckles and the baby startles as the doorbell rings. You both look at each other. You’d managed to keep everything a secret - the birth, anyway - so all of your guests were expecting to see you with a big baby bump and not a tiny bundle in your arms. You were so thrilled.

“Here we go,” Bucky says with an excited grin. He walks to the front door as you stand up from the couch, cradling baby James in your arms. “Sam!” Bucky exclaims, opening his arms wide to give him a hug. “So glad you could make it. Welcome in,” he says, taking a bag out of Sam’s hands. Sam takes his shoes off and hangs his coat up before glancing up at you. He does a double take at the little figure in your arms. 

“Hold up! HOLD UP! Bucky!” He exclaims your name as well before realizing his volume may be a bit much for little ears. “You guys sure can keep a secret. Wow!” Bucky comes over and wraps his arm around your shoulders and beams down at your little one. “He decided to come a touch early, but he’s perfectly healthy and ready to chow down for Thanksgiving.” Sam walks over closer to you and the baby and looks down, smiling. “He’s so small. Wow. How are you feeling?” He directs the last question to you and you smile.

“I’m doing great. Taking everything hour by hour and taking it very slowly. I can’t imagine doing this without Buck.”

Sam puts a hand over your shoulder and squeezes gently. “Congrats you guys. Really. You did good.” He looks at Bucky as he says the last part. 

“You haven’t asked his name yet, buddy,” Bucky says with a soft smile. Sam looks between Bucky, you, and the baby with questioning eyes. “James Samuel Barnes,” you announce with a grin. Sam puts a hand over his heart and swallows. “Wow, I’m honored. Buck, man, that’s incredible. Thank you. And thank you,” he says pointedly at you. You smile and nod. “I know how much you and Bucky have been through together and that you’re basically family so we couldn’t have picked anything else. I’m glad you like it, too.”

The doorbell rings again and Sam answers it while Bucky runs back to check on everything in the kitchen. You lock eyes with your dad as he walks through the door. His eyes immediately spot the bundle you’re holding and tears well up in his eyes. He makes his way to you after a quick hello to Sam and hugs you awkwardly, trying not to squish little Jamie. “My baby with her baby,” your dad says, wiping a tear from his eye. “Look at that hair!”

“Sit down, Pop. You can hold him,” you offer, sitting down on the couch. Your dad looks at you with a worried expression. “Are you sure? He’s so tiny. I don’t want to-”. You cut him off before he can protest further. “Here,” you say, putting Jamie in his arms. “Your grandson wants to meet you.” The little baby’s eyes flutter open as your dad takes him and he coos softly. Your dad swallows again, trying not to cry. “You know, kiddo,” he says,  looking at you, “your mom would be so proud of you. She’s looking down on ya now. I just know it.” You feel a lump form in your own throat and swallow it down. “Thanks, Pop. I wish she was here with us this year.”

“Me, too, kiddo,” he says. “Gosh, you two-” he says as Bucky enters the room again, a dish towel thrown across his shoulder, “you two did good.”

“Sir,” Bucky says, “good to see you. I’m so glad you could make it. She was a trooper, your daughter. I’ve never met anyone quite like her.”

Your dad laughs, “That’s because there isn’t anyone quite like her. She’s the spitting image of her mother. Strong-willed, but soft and kind. That’s the best kind of woman if I do say so myself, but I may be a bit biased.” Your dad and Bucky chuckle and little Jamie cries out softly.

“He’s probably hungry,” you say. “I’m going to excuse myself for a bit to feed him. You guys catch up, okay? Pop, I know Sam was just in Delacroix fishing. I’m sure he has a lot to tell you.” You start walking to the nursery, soothing Jamie as he cries. You change his diaper before settling into the soft, comfortable rocking chair and letting him feed. The doorbell rings as you’re breastfeeding, and you let the boys handle it, just relaxing in the moment with your son, humming softly and closing your eyes.

A couple soft knocks rap on the nursery door before Bucky peers his head in. “Sarah and the boys are here,” he whispers, stepping inside and shutting the door behind him to give you privacy. “They want to see Jamie when you guys come out.” You smile softly. “Of course they can.”

Bucky looks down at where Jamie is connected to you and huffs out a small laugh. “I think the little man is falling asleep at the wheel.” You look down to see the baby’s eyes closing and his tiny hands open and relaxing by his sides. “He appears to have gotten his fill,” you announce, standing up with him slowly. You walk back out to see the table all set with everyone’s contributions to the beautiful Thanksgiving meal. Everyone is sitting down as Bucky walks you out. Sarah stands up and opens her arms. “Let me see that precious boy,” she says softly. You hug her and let her hold him. 

Bucky wraps his arm around you and squeezes, facing you both toward your small gathering  - Sam, Sarah holding Jamie, the boys, and your Pop. You feel another lump in your throat to see all of your favorite people under one roof. Your roof. Bucky clears his throat. “I just wanted to say Happy Thanksgiving and that I’m so glad we can all be here together. And surprise! Little Jamie just couldn’t wait any longer, but it makes today even more special. However,” he begins, glancing at your dad who gives him the slightest nod, “I think there’s one thing that could make it perfect.” You look around with a quizzical expression at everyone’s smiling faces before looking back to see Bucky kneeling in front of you with a shy, loving smile. Your breath catches as he starts to speak again, taking your left hand in his.

He whispers your name, “I know our journey hasn’t been the most traditional, but that seems to be par for the course for my life. You bring such immense joy and peace to me. I can’t imagine having anyone else by my side everyday. You make me laugh, feel loved and cherished, and I’m so incredibly lucky to have met you. And now we’re embarking on parenthood together with this precious kiddo. He’s perfect, just like his mom. Let’s do this… really do this.” He pulls a ring out of his front shirt pocket and presents it to you and you feel the tears start to roll. “I love you. Marry me. Be my wife. Be mine forever.”

“Yes, of course I’ll marry you, James. Of course!” You say through a thick throat and teary eyes. He slips the ring onto your finger and stands up, bringing you in for a hug and kissing your forehead gently. You whisper softly for only him, “I love you so much. Thank you.”

“Alright, enough! Let’s eat! It’s Thanksgiving!” Sam says with a huge grin. You both break apart and laugh. You weren’t sure how to fully express how you were feeling right now as you sat between your Pop and your Bucky. Sarah and Sam were across from you, with little Jamie napping happily in Sarah’s knowing arms. The boys were already chowing down on sweet potato pie. 

Bucky nudges you gently and your ring gleams in the light. “How are you feeling, love?”

You look around again, taking it all in, placing your hand over his, “Thankful.”

THE END.

[hmhas-00]

Ch. 41

Hit Me Hard & Soft

A/N- y’all I can’t believe this series is ALMOST coming to an end… any predictions?👀

Billie’s POV

“Billie!” She calls out, underneath me. Her face shows concern as she grabs onto my ankle.

Suddenly, it begins to lightly sprinkle, and the once clear, blue sky turns a muggy gray.

“Maybe we should go back down.” I say, looking down at her, visibly annoyed by the situation.

“No, it’s just a little sprinkle. Let’s keep going!” She shouts, thinking it’s what I want to hear.

She thinks I want to keep going, because I’m the one that insisted in going rock climbing in the first place. In reality, I want to lock ourselves into our hotel room and shield her from everything, including TMZ. Shield her from the world saying she’s not good enough for me, or maybe even the other way around.

I stop to wipe the water droplets off my forehead. I can’t tell it’s from rain or from sweat, but I dry one hand at a time on my shorts, to keep me from slipping.

“You okay?” She makes her way up, standing right next to me, as close as she can on an outdoor rock climbing wall, of course.

“Yeah, I’m fine. They’re just so annoying.” I gesture toward the cameras.

“Hi Billie!” They shout, realizing I notice them.

They continue to shout out at us, as if we’d stop everything to have a conversation with them.

“Is that your girl, Billie?”

“What’s your new girlfriend’s name?”

“Kiss!”

“Look over here, Billie!”

“Billie! Billie! Billie!”

She looks at me, slight shock on her face. “Oh, wow.”

A small laugh escapes her lips, making me feel like she’s about to shoot me in the chest. With the painful feeling of rejection already crawling under my skin, I scrunch my nose and look away.

I feel sick.

Remy keeps her eyes on me, but I’m too afraid to see her genuine reaction.

I scoff, cringing and contorting my face as if the thought of kissing Remy here, so high up that we can see the ocean, actually nauseates me.

As if.

I keep climbing but she stays where she is for a minute.

“Come on. Before the rain gets worse.” I look down, waiting for her to come up.

“Just ignore them. At least they’re not being vultures like back home.” She is next to me again, not knowing I don’t want her near me. We are more than halfway up the wall now.

“I just don’t want them making shit up.” I concentrate on getting to the top. I sigh, aggravated at the situation.

“They’re gonna say whatever they want anyway.” She says, he voice calm as she keeps up with me.

“Yeah, but it’s all bullshit. They could’ve said anything at all, but they pick the dumbest fucking-“

“Oh my God, Jesus, Billie! Is it really that repulsive to you?”

“What?” I stop.

“The thought of you being with me?” She looks me in the eyes briefly, before passing me up the wall.

I blink, “N-No— I mean—“ I pick up the speed, gripping onto the wall as hard as I can. My shoes making squeaky noises as I step on each ridge.

She gives an uncertain laugh, “You said it enough times it’s like— Thanks bro.”

“I don’t meant it like th—“

“Dude. You won’t stop saying how stupid—”

“Remy, wait up.” The moment I look away to get better footing, she screams.

I look up to her foot slipping on wet rock, her body dropping at least 50 feet before the rope attendant pulled on his end to save her from hitting the ground. The sound of her scream sent my heart through my esophagus, and into my mouth. It was so loud it left my ears ringing.

I make my descent as fast I can, dropping to the ground, where she sits, doubled over, grabbing at her knee.

“Oh my fucking God, are you okay!?” I quickly get the attendant to unhook me, kneeling beside her.

“Yeah.” She winces, “I stepped on it wrong. My shoe slipped, and I hit my knee on it with all my weight.”

“You slammed the wall pretty hard when you were swinging too! Can we call paramedics for you?“ The attendant pulls out his phone, standing over us.

“No, no. I’m okay.” Remy winces in pain, still covering her knee.

“Let me see.” I take her hands away, uncovering her knee. It’s all gashed and bloodied, dribbling down her shin. There’s dirt and tiny pebbles of gravel inside the deeply cut tissue. “Ooh, shit, Rem. Maybe we should see paramedics.”

The attendant begins to dial on his phone, but Remy is persistent. “No, no, no! I’m- I’m fine. I just need to wash off, that’s all.” She nods.

“Help me up.” She reaches her hand up as I stand, wrapping an arm around my neck for support.

“Can you even stand?” I hold her up.

“Yeah, yeah. It just hurts to bend my knee.” She groans as we hop over to the bathroom, where I can help her clean out her knee.

“It’s bleeding a lot, Rem, I think we should get you seen by a—“

“Noo, just help me clean it up!” She whined. She hates doctors. She will avoid it at all costs. Partly because she hates needles, but mostly because of how expensive it is.

We enter a restroom inside a shack, near the entrance. She hops over to the sink, lifting her leg over the counter.

“Here. Let me—“ I lift her up by her waist, sitting her on the sink counter. I stand between her legs, examining the damage done.

“Ouch.” She groans, wincing at the pain and glancing at me. I’d usually be queasy at the sight of such blood, but since it’s Remy’s, I convince myself to toughen up.

“It’s not too bad…” I lie, hoping to make her feel better. I pull her leg gently over the sink, the faucet hovering above her knee.

I turn on the faucet a bit, the gentle stream running over her wound. The water begins to flush out the blood, red flooding the sink beneath her leg.

“I can’t look.” She turns her head, biting on her wrist.

“It doesn’t look too deep.” I say, shutting off the water and softening my voice. “Just gotta get all this dirt out.”

I wash my own hands in the sink beside her, then lather up with lots of antibacterial soap, very delicately brushing some on her gashed up knee. “This might hurt a bit.”

She nods. I can feel her muscles tensing up, “Just hurry.” She says, through gritted teeth.

“I know, I know.”

I turn the faucet back on, letting it wash away all the impurities, picking out a few tiny pieces of gravel and dirt.

“Here is some hydrogen peroxide. I have bandages too, and gauze.” The manager who greeted us walks in.

“Thank you so much.” I accept the first aid kit.

“We’re so sorry about that. Our staff should’ve recommended you come down as soon as the rain began.” She apologizes over and over.

“No, no, it was our fault. Way too locked in.” I joke, shaking my head.

Remy laughs a bit, smiling at the lovely woman, sweetly.

She walks away, and I turn my attention back to my patient. I unscrew the cap on the peroxide bottle as she hastily puts her hand over mine.

“It isn’t going to sting, is it?” Her eyes worried, her brows furrowed.

“No, I promise it won’t. The worst part is over.” I assure her, knowing me digging out chunks of rock from her gash was probably more painful than this liquid will ever be.

She nods, letting me go.

I begin to lightly pour peroxide over her knee, letting it drip down her cut.

“Do you really think that?” She asks, her voice low.

“Think what?” I say, concentrating on pouring until the bleeding fully stops.

“—That… the world thinking you’re dating me is the worst thing ever.” She scoffs a bit toward the end of her sentence. I can feel her staring at me, but all I can focus on is the fizzy water, bubbling up in her knee.

“No, Rem. I didn’t mean it like that.” I screw on the cap, placing the bottle aside. I very softly pat the wound dry with a square piece of gauze pad.

“It just sounded like it.” She says, her eyes following me. “When there’s any other rumor about you, you make jokes, you laugh at it… You know how to laugh at yourself.”

I take a look inside the first aid kit, fidgeting with the materials in front of me.

“I just hate when they make up rumors. Besides, I don’t want you to be affected by them either.” I lie.

I pick out a roll of gauze, peeling back the first layer and tossing it in the trash, just in case. Using the newer, more sterile layer, I begin to wrap it around her knee, completely taking the gauze behind her knee, and back over the wound a few times.

“Sounds like you were more affected by them than I was.” She shrugs.

I shake my head, “It’s just everywhere we go, no matter what—“ I continue wrapping the gauze around her knee.

“I know.” She cuts me off. “It sucks. But it’s just a rumor, right? They’re just lies.”

“Yeah.”

“I think that’s enough wrap arounds, huh?” She laughs a bit, her breathy laugh giving me chills.

“Right.” I stop, fastening the gauze. “Good as new.” I smile at her.

She bends her knee slowly, dangling it off the counter, wincing at the pain. The thought of her gash opening and closing gives me chills.

“Careful, you don’t want it to start bleeding again.” I help her off the counter, lifting her waist as she wraps her arms around me, and placing her on the floor.

She supports herself with an arm around my neck. “We’ll walk slow, okay? ‘Get you back in the hotel.”

She nods.

We start to walk towards the restroom door, but she stops. “Wait.”

“What’s wrong?” I look at her knee, imagining blood oozing down her knee again. There isn’t.

“The paparazzi, they’ll see us like this. I don’t want it to bother you if—“

“Fuck ‘em. Let them talk.” I shrug. I watch as she crinkles her nose, smiling at me.

We begin to walk towards the door again, but stop again.

“Wait!” She gasps.

“What!” I look back down at her knee, seeing the perfectly white gauze still wrapped tightly around her knee.

“I didn’t thank you. You’re always taking care of me.” She smiles, her eyes shining, like two genuine diamonds. She tilts her head, her lips are slightly parted, and for a second I think she wants to kiss me.

But that would be a dream. See, normally my alarm would go off, and I’d slam the snooze button, hoping I can cheat my way back into finishing said dream.

“Always.” I say, matter of factly, looking away toward the door.

She kisses my cheek and for a second, I freeze. My heart stops, and my chest feels hollow. Both of my arms are covered in goosebumps. There is no way she doesn’t notice. I stand there in complete silence, wondering if that was real.

“You okay?” She snaps me out of it.

No, it wasn’t. I imagined it. It wasn’t real. But God, how much do I wish it actually was.

“Yeah, let’s go.” I lead us out.