#BTW THIS IS ALL A JOKE DW. I AM NOT ACTUALLY MAKING FUN OF U

[cinnachaos]

Favourite splatoon character?

looks at you

looks at my profile

looks back at you

looks at imaginary camera, Seinfeld style

[easyboi]

this is going here even tho its not that sexy bc admitting to this level of stalking on main feels wrong, but I went back and read through the asks I've sent you (yes all of them, you can laugh if you want, my friends sure did when I told them 😔) and I have several take aways:

wow there are a lot from before I started signing them, I kinda feel bad about keeping you in the dark like that - is that like,, something you want me to fix in some way?

I am extremely lucky you are okay with parasocial behavior bc, yeah, that is/was happening. I like you talking to me,, too much, probably.

past me is a dumbass who misses obvious stuff sometimes

the volume of words I want to put in your inbox has got to be unacceptable, like there's just no way that wouldn't be annoying. doesn't stop me from wanting it tho.

small regret about signing asks over there bc like, I would also like to be able to actually publish gilgamesh bingo cards and maintain some plausible deniability... not done yet, but I have been working on them

you are so fucking funny, I laughed many times

my memory did not do justice to how hot you are, and I still don't feel like I've figured out an adequate way to express it

anyway, obviously I'm having a real normal one 💀, hopefully you too. and you *would* look crazy hot with a tongue piercing. still want your fingers in my mouth btw. - S

lsjhdkjfgst the dedication?? impressive tbh ! you don't need to fix or tell me which ones were you unless there's a specific one you want me to know about dw!

i like talking to you too 🙏 but now i'm also wondering what obvious stuff you missed

you can dole them out in small amounts if that makes u feel better lmao

and also tbh until you mentioned it i would've just thought it's coincidence if i saw at all lol i'm not Perceptive

bad jokes my best quality frfr

glad you're having a normal one 💀 at least ur having fun!! i think! i would gladly stick my fingers in your mouth 🙏

[notsolstice]

Hey!! So that post about wayward son (after realizing not the song) made me monkey side-eye my bookcase to the two novels on my bookshelf and I googled what ppl's beef w her is and long story short, books are in the garbage lol. I literally only bought them bc of the Kevin wada art and never got around to reading them, so yeah waste of money, but no skin off my nose. That being said, you got any recs for some good books?? I don't think I have a particular preference, but I'd def prefer non-fiction (I get enough of real life from daily news articles tbh). If it's too much work, don't hesitate to trash this ask, but I just thought I'd give it a shot since u seem well read and I literally don't think I've read anything extensively since I hyperfixated on the Sherlock Holmes anthology for 16 hours straight lol

oh hell yeah successfully tricked someone else into thinking i am well-read

and oh yeah i know i joke but yea don’t read rainbow rowell’s books because it doesn’t matter how many beautiful covers she gets from a collab with a high profile asian american artists there’s no excusing her first mess of a book. plus the fact that they’re apparently making a movie (???) she’s really not trying to apologize or rehab her image very well lol

BUT ANYWAYS idk if you meant fiction instead of non-fiction but if you’re after non-fiction unfort I will not be of much help since I’ve read like, 2 non-fiction books in the last 10 years and I almost exclusively read genre fiction so apologies in advance if this list is useless 2 u. also just fyi i don’t really read modern YA because I’m a crotchety grandmother so if you are looking for YA that is more woke then I will also not be of much help here. and don’t read the raven cycle no matter what tumblr tells u

the southern reach trilogy by jeff vandermeer. the books are probably my all-time favorite sci-fi literature ever, although calling them sci-fi is probably not accurate. more like magical realism science fiction? first book starts with a team of all-women scientists exploring an area that is hostile to humans on behalf of a shady institution and things get weird from there. the second book drags a bit but it is SO worth it trust me. don’t watch the movie

piranesi by susanna clarke. this is her most recent book, and I’m reccing it instead of her first book, jonathan strange & mr norrell because piranesi is a quick read compared to jsamn which is 800 damn pages long and dense as HELL and probably a little intimidating if you’re out of practice reading. however I do also recommend that if you have the patience.

DISCWORLD by terry pratchett. the discworld series is actually about like 50 books or something ridiculous and ugh ok I was trying to keep this not intimidating but it’s so worth it I promise. dw was a foundational text to my sense of humor which, actually hm. that might not be the best endorsement but whatever. it started out as just a parody/satire of those trashy fantasy books from the 70s-80s but it expanded into its own universe. also you may know it if you watched/read good omens, sir terry was the other co-author besides neil gaiman. you do not have to read them in chronological publishing order btw, they’re actually more like comics, where you can pick a character/set of characters and read their series within the larger canon. there are a lot of reading order lists out there so it’s pretty easy to pick one and start, but I can definitely help more if u want!!!

salt: a world history by mark kurlansky. ok this is a non-fiction book I just picked up and it is very interesting despite the title but this has exhausted my recs for non-fiction i’m sorry. or you can read the giant book about cancer the emperor of all maladies which was great but wiped me out on non-fiction for about a decade

the matthew swift series by kate griffin. i think it’s got some other fancy name as a series title but i literally cannot remember it right now oh well. not the highest brow of Great Literature but i loved this series about a sad man brought back from the dead to do magic with garbage bins and telephone booths. and it’s a series of books about adults doing magic but in no way can it be described as “harry potter for grownups” so that earns it points immediately

wilder girls by rory power. oh wait I did read one YA book that I liked!!!!! this is kind of similar to jeff vandermeer’s writing, although a little less intense. there’s a lot of body horror and feral teenage girls and is delightful to read if you were at any point in your life a feral teenage girl

the starless sea by erin morgenstern. skirting the edge of YA with this one but it was fun and gay and what you should read instead of wayward sons. or just read some spn fanfic i got recs for that too

I have a lot more books I’m trying to read now but I feel like this is a decent place to stop before I start recommending chuck palahniuk and embarrassing myself with my cishet male taste

[boyshoujo]

u don't even know me but u already kno me and my personality?? wow u must be a sorcerer.................. but im indeed problematic, and ummm i don't like filet o fish??? i hate her but we go to mcdonald's almost everyday and im forced to eat something so it's the only choice i have........ the meat and chicken at mcdonald's tastes like plastic but that damn fish tastes REAL!!! she isn't fake..............

yea Whatever….. a few days ago u told me that “filet of fish gives [you] emotional support” ???? but when i out u suddenly u hate her??? what’s the truth :/

what’s wrong with hadaka shitsuji???? its a funny game!!! don’t u like the main character tomoaki?? he’s the only good main character ive ever seen in my life and he’s a sadistic bitch??? i love sadistic binches cuz they are like me!!! i felt like “i” was in the game when i saw him, he killed everybody and i was proud of this ugly fuck cuz thats what i would do if i was in this game,,,,,,,,,, i would do more fucked up things than him but anyway, i don’t like fedoras!!!!! i just like that dude-

LFSJLKFSJKSF bceuacuse IT’s A BAD GAME!!!!!!!! ITS BAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!! actually you remind me of tomoaki???? a lot???? gotta add that to ur callout list……………

-cuz he’s funny and btw he’s the one wearing a purple jacket and his name is hashizuka and that fake loser who is a cheap version of sergei is called junichi :/ and tbh i send u furry asks cuz ur the only one who accepts me for who i really am,,,,,,,,, like i sent some arcana blogs some asks about fucking a fictional goose and a donut kink and they just said “what the fuck” and ehh they’re so serious?? like chill its just a joke jfc sharon :/ i go to their pathetic edgy blogs and this is how they treat me???? i just wanted to cheer ur edgy ass up sharon don’t act like ur 70 dammit just accept a joke lol

LFKSKFSJK bicht i’m literally 0.00039 seconds into the game u rec’d and???? /?? ??? literally ALL of the guys r pathetic???? they go to a school called Charming Cherries lFKJLF AAAAAAAAAAAAA WHAT IS THIS does this mean the principal guy is a Veteran Cherry…………………..binch…. that’s Why he wears a fedora………………………………..i accidentally picked the annoying know-it-all guy so i’ll go for him first and then mayb try the ceo guy……dONUT KINK,,,,,,,,,,,,,, , > >>>???/ ??/ ?? ??? ?? no offense but i’d be like ???????????? GET OUTTA MY INBOX???????? HOW DARE U COME IN AND DISRESPECT MY BRAND LIKE THIS??? ?? ?? ?? ? ………….anyways i wanna hear about the donut kink LOLIKR!!!!!!! !  ! i hate people who r too serious………………………i mean…. im actually p serious Tbh but some people on this website can’t take jokes????? i saw a shitpost where this person was like “some of yall need 2 get mugged lol” and people were like “why do u want people to suffer so bad??? SHOULD I JUST DIE THEN!!! DO YOU WANT ME TO DIE!!!!” and im like …………… wtf chill Ashley lmao………

i feel like if i ever met u we would be the best friends ever?? actually i would be the one who’s crying cuz we both have the same taste?? ik a lot of characters like segrei and vincent so if u want me to tell u their names im gonna say it in another ask, and i like how u don’t judge me unlike all of my new friends ;^( i had a friend in middle school in 7 grade and i told her a lot of weird shit and she didn’t judge me??? she was a true friend indeed……………….

give me more sergei characters 👏👏👏👏 also DW im deFINITELY JUDGING YOU LMAO but im amused and laughing at the same time?? sometimes u send me asks and im like ???? ????? ? ?? ?? ?? ? ? ????????wtf lmao ? ??? ?

im sure if we talked more ur gonna find out that we’re literally friend-mates= 2 lonely binches who got the same taste in fictional character and idk but we would be the best bff’s ever tbh?? ur the friend who i have been searching for years?? everyone finds my thirst and my “weeaboo” ass (although im not a fuckin weeaboo im just thirsty for fictional characters!!) too weird and they always say “u can’t take ANYTHING seriously!!” like?? im 5???? why should i take anything seriously?? im not 70??

gfgfg bicth? i don’t even know anything about you, how can we be friends!!!!! WHO ARE YOU!! ! !! ! we should make a Lonely Bitch club but the requirements to enter are: do u play otome? would u body slam lucio into the pavement??? would u fuck the goth fish from finding nemo?? r u a thirsty ho????

i thought u would say “she’s a thot lol” and u would agree with me that she’s a thot??? if we didn’t know each other im trying to know her??? im trying to be friends with her????? how am i going to be friends with her if i didn’t talk to her?? fuck that shitty book??? im more important???? im sure she can read that damn book at her home and not in school!!!!!!! she should study like the rest of us………. and she shouldn’t study HER book!!!!!!!!!!!!

JKSJLSJKSJF i just realized, all of my friendships w/ virgos happened bc they woULDNT STOP TALKING/BOTHERING ME LOL this is why i love virgos…………. ur like stray cats that just never stop meowing until u let them in……maybe u should bother her more FKLSJFKJFS and she’ll finally crack

if i ever tried to read a book it should have pictures in it cuz i don’t want to imagine all that shit by myself!!!!!!! just add a fucking picture jfc…………….. i was exactly like that when i was a kid and im still the same??? i haven’t changed much tbh and im glad???? im glad i still have that silly trait of mine lol 

no offense but READ?????????? imagining things is fun??????????????? books r so much fun????????? wtf???rn im reading a book about some ugly french guy from the 18th century with a Superhuman sense of smell who kills girls to make The Ultimate Perfume or whatever?? im barely like 50 pages in, but he killed his first girl?? and literally shoved his nose up her ass?? it was wild?????? books r wild??????

we’re going to study about christopher columbus this year and his ugly face is in my book???? like bitch why u gotta curse my book with ur disgusting face???? im going to roast this bitch when we get to his part in the book and everyone is going to ask me: “binch y are u angry???” and im like “why don’t u do some fuckin research sharon abt this ugly fuck and then ur going to understand why im angry” like get out of my book u lil bitch!!!!!!! that dam book is cursed now!!!!!!!

👏👏👏 END HIm

I LIKE TALKING ABOUT THE WEATHER TOO!!!!! im just kidding but what’s ur favorite season???? mine is winter cuz uhhhh its winter???? everyone who hates winter is canceled??? lucio loves summer and is canceled????

fall-winter???? bc halloween…….. and american thanksgiving is fucked up bc it essentially celebrates the genocide of native americans but tbh……..i love turkey…… (we eat roast turkey and mashed potatoes n pumpkin pie n stuff for thanksgiving)also i just love it when the weather gets colder??? i get to dress up??? and be fashionable??? when it’s hot, all i wear are t shirts and shorts which is Boring it doesn’t snow where i live though lmao and it’s typically warm year-round where i live :/ winter is the only time i get to pull out all my cute sweaters and jackets but some winters only get cold for 2 weeks lmao :—–/

so you’re american right???? which means u have halloween rn??? or does it start on 31 if im not mistaken???? sadly we don’t have halloween here……………………………………………. they consider it “an event where people worship satan” here lmao

halloween is only one day (31st) SKJKSJ

i think its hot if batman would ever judge me

KSJKFSJFKLJFSK i;m gonna frame this ask Bye