#BTICH IM GOING INSANE OVER THEM???

[maladaptah]

Cbf cleaning any of these meow meows up properly but u get the point! I want the colors to be more vibrant … trying to stifle the ever present urge to saturate the shit out of every color palette. I’ll test it out but I might just go back to og refs color pallete cos that was already perfect

I’ve been trying to work with more muted colors especially design wise because that’s what the majority of my close ig art friends were into and like… I rly wanna impress but I really just do not know how to do it!!!! Its so hard cos they’re amazing designers and im just constantly envious which leads me to stressing out abt being inadequate and making a million scrapped designs that I end up too embarrassed to post lol.

I’m currently a lot happier w how my designs are turning out cos I can like experiment and design in a vacuum away from my previous art platform…. It’s literally just bc I’m insane bottle up everything till I stress coma burnout…. Like I rly was the problem 😜🙏🏻😱..,, but yeah I just needed time to like love art again. Plus I was feeling like extra trapped cos I felt like I couldn’t talk abt it cos all my idols/ art besties started following my spam acc and that was like… my diary … I told that btich everything truly it like fixed all my problems having something to complain to but i couldn’t anymore cos all the complaining was literlaly abt the people I was following LOL like i couldn’t be like omg I’m so emo cos my friend posted the hottest drawing I’ve ever seen in my life like…. Truly embarrassing. Plus I’m too embarrassed to confide in my other friends as well or just talk normally abt problems to get the weight off so I ended up distancing myself …. Its like literally Jsut bc I’m ashamed of everything I do liek that’s really is just the bottom line to all my problems. Hopefully I get over it cos I rly do just lose all my relationships cos I go insane every 3 months….. and then I feel too embarrassed to like ever talk to them again cos it’s like they prob forgot abt me lol nobody cares it wasn’t that deep… But also it’s just me completely being delusional cos all my last messages are like miss u….. and nobody’s ever actually said anything mean to me when I’ve remessaged them I just dbdbcbdhdbdhhdhd rly need to fix this abt myself uughhghfhghhgghfhb

[taeyeonsb]

uhm cute pizza boy changbin? and embarrassed felix idk

I'm a hoe for writing things no one requested of me but wbk

@silverwisp-the-insane @chenle @j-onehunnit this is for u my loves

I decided 2 make it changlix because it's the only ship ever and i dont write xreaders lol sorry

how is this so long lmao the scene lasts like 5 minutes im done w myself

here's a masterlist if u want haha yeet

in felix's defense

it's all 100% completely jisung's fault

like many things are

felix was joking!!! and it's all jisung's fault for not seeing it >:(

“im ordering pizza”

"omg tell them 2 send their cutest pizza boy"

"ok lol"

",,,"

"ur cute pizza boy will be here in fifteen minutes"

:o

H A N J I S U N G

"BOY" - felix, panicking instantly

"u have 2 answer the door, sung, I'm not doing it"

"come on lix what's the worst that could happen? just answer it, and best case scenario u got urself a bf!"

felix is going to say no

but then jisung hits him with that ddu-du ddu-du du look

the LookTM

"NO DONT GIVE ME THAT LOOK YOU KNOW CUTE PEOPLE MAKE ME NERVOUS" - felix, panicking instantly yet again

jisung is pouting and his eyes are all big and felix can see all the stars in them and

"ok, I'll answer the door"

"haha weak btich"

“let me at least see what u wrote? so i dont get too embarrassed”

jisung hands over his phone and felix looks at the submitted request

“jisung U DUMMY U SAID SEND UR CUTEST PIZZA”

“sorry lol im illiterate” - jisung, unbothered, chomping on a stick of celery

“at least now our pizza will look great!!!”

felix is stressed out and doesnt deserve this

but!! this isnt gonna work out lol it was a stupid joke and the pizza place probably doesnt have any cute boys and if they do all the cute boys are all being sent to pretty girls’ houses like in wattpad fanfics and it’s not even gonna happen of course why is felix stressed theres nothing to be stressed about

“are u ok lix u look very stressed out”

“im Not stressed out”

so felix goes back to losing trying his best at mariokart

fortunately for felix (alliteration!! bow before me)

the doorbell rings right as jisung is about to win

so felix gets to pause it and enjoy seeing the pain manifest itself in jisung’s puppy eyes

“haha thats what u get u snake”

“I DID THIS FOR YOU”

nevertheless

felix is nervous about opening the door

what if he really is cute oh no

felix is Unable to function around cute people

but!!!! he forges on :,) what a lad

and lo and behold

he really is cute oh no

A B O R T

there is a Small Handsome Boy outside jisung’s door and felix forgets how 2 function

yikeyikeyike

he has a cute nose!!! and cute eyes!!! and a cute mouth!!!! and hes wearing little round spectacles and his hair looks soft and oh no

then cute pizza boy coughs awkwardly, and theres a cute blush across his cute cheeks and felix would like to Die

felix, mentally: *banging two frying pans together on the roof of jisung’s apartment building* WOW IT SURE WOULD BE A SHAME FOR ME TO GET ABDUCTED RIGHT NOW

there’s a note taped to cute boy’s chest written on a blank reciept that says ‘he’s the cutest pizza we have’

again, felix would like to Die

his face is so warm asbfdjs

“uhhh here’s ur pizza !!” the boy says, and his voice is so nice and he looks so flustered

felix can feel himself falling

“ahh! thank you!!! im so sorry about if you feel awkward about the request, my friend wrote that, and im just really sorry!!! haha but dont worry u are definitely the cutest pizza i’ve ever seen!!!”

did he ,,,, really just say that

like did he really

really? by blackpink yas

cute pizza boy giggles (giggles!!!! what a soft and wonderful human!!!!) and “it’s ok!! don’t worry about it, my coworker chan loves it when this happens, and you’re really cute too!!”

changbin, internally: did i really just say that did i really

(this boy is highkey the only cute boy in the world and changbin just said he was cute???? CANCELLED FOREVER)

changbin can feel himself turning into a tomato

then a voice yelling “LIX?” comes from inside the apartment and both changbin and cute boy jump

“lix?” changbin asks before he can stop himself

“it’s my nickname ,,,, short for felix” cute boy (now named felix) says, rubbing the back of his neck shyly

felix is so cute changbin is going to combust

“ah ... m’names changbin?” changbin offers through a mouthful of actual sand because apparently he is incapable of speech

“changbin?” felix has a lil accent when he says changbin’s name

changbin internally: I WANT TO PROTECT YOU FOREVER YOURE THE CUTEST

changbin externally: “yep!”

“well i guess i should probably go :( my managers gonna need me back soon :(”

“i should too haha my friends probably playing mariokart while im not there so he can mess up our win ratio”

neither of them move for a couple more moments though lmao

then changbin remembers he actually has to give felix the pizza ,,,,,, so he sticks the lil note that was on his shirt on top of the box and hands it over

“well, hopefully i’ll see you soon!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

“yeah, ,,,, i hope so too”

and then felix smiles and changbin dies before felix closes the door

inside the apartment:

jisung: hello felix, anything new up with you

he was listening to the entire disaster of a conversation and literally has trouble forming words because he’s smiling so big

felix just HHHHHHHHHHHs right into jisung’s arms, knocking them both down on the couch and hmphs into his chest

“did u get his number”

D:

D: D: D: D:

“ur dumb lol”

what a lovely supportive friend

“well at least u have pizza rigth!! eat ur troubles away my young padawan”

“u are one day older than me boy”

,,,

back at the pizza shop:

chan, being the literal human equivalent of ;)))))))) seeing how blushy changbin is when he waltzes back through the door of the shop: heyyyyy baby changbean

changbin is too lovestruck to even hit him skdjfks felix’s impact

hyunjin is instantly invested

“did u get his number”

D:

D: D: D: D:

“ur the dumbest”

“fear not!!!” chan says triumphantly “he has ur number!”

“what”

“i put ur number on the note lol”

“bang chan what if it was some creepy old dude who now had my P H O N E  N U M B E R do you ever Think before you Act”

“no?? lmao what kinda question”

“but ur forgetting the IMPORTANT THING here changbin!!” hyunjin says excitedly

“which is that chan hyung hands out my personal information with little regard to my well-being, safety, and future?”

“no lol, ur cute boy has ur number!!!”

changbin, internally: omgomg my romance has begun!!!!! when is netflix going to hmu

changbin, externally: “i hate you guys”

then changbin’s phone lights up with a random number

he checks it immediately, not even minding that chan hyunjin and minho are all hovering over his shoulders

“oh minho when did u get here”

“i smelled drama”

unknown number: hi!!! it’s felix!!!! i didnt realize you left your number here haha but i’m happy you did <3

and changbin knows hes going to be mocked endlessly by his coworkers but he doesnt even care

and jisung will literally never let felix live down a single thing he said to changbin, but felix doesn’t care either

what matters is that they have each other now <3

[littlebabycrybtch]

ok ik bitches are still going to complain but i gotta rant to keep my shit together;;; ngl after being stuck co-raising two babies now i really feel genuinely Disgusted by unnecessary parent critique. like it actually makes me feel so viscerally upset and depressed when i remember nobody gets this or cares to and probably just wants to call out what im doing wrong, instead of lend me a hand to do it better. man im not treading lightly here the ‘no excuses’ mentality is literally Inhumane to parents and dehumanizes them as these superhumans, they arent, they are people trying to take care of themselves Plus One. there Are ‘excuses’ for not being perfect. just bc every child deserves perfect doesnt mean it can be given and that fucking SUCKS but that is one of the only times im comfortable saying; ‘thats just life’. you cant magically make life better for kids the way you think, you’re not a protector, you’re their Rock to teach them How to DEAL with what life brings, that means you’re allowed to struggle with it too. childcare is like this cosmic design to work you physically and mentally to the brink, fucking forget the normalization of how many people you think you’ve seen raise kids and done fine, it is harder than you can even fathom. they probably did not do fine behind closed doors. the parents with the best behaved and most obedient kids probably did harmful things to make them that way that will eventually come back to them, the parents with the happiest most well adjusted kids probably had the money to provide the extra care for that. there are ‘excuses’. idc if it fucking annoys you or w/e, i dont like being the bitch that says stuff nobody wants to hear, but you truly deeply cannot 100% understand unless you are raising kids, i dont say that to hurt your feewings or exclude you, i used to think that way, i say it bc when you see me passed out on the couch while my nephew gets into something dangerous, its because i got one hour of sleep that night while he kicked me in our bed for 4 hours. he cant help not knowing how that affects both of us, but i cant help being affected by it just cuz im supposed to be ~the big strong adult~, bc i am not a fucking xman. i CANT pretend it all away. while im sitting there napping im also waiting for my mental health meds to start working. im also dizzy from not eating. it sucks that he gets into shit sometimes. hes still gonna get into shit sometimes, and i can do my best, but if i sit here worrying that karens are gonna get pissed abt that and work myself even harder im gonna straight up explode. who does that help. who does me falling apart help. come babysit my kid for free if you wanna help me bitch!

parents are doing twice the work of a normal person while also teaching one of these people theyre caring for, how to BE a person. i used to be SO pro judging parents and im literally nauseated by the judgments now. “i cant believe this parent looked away and their kid got hurt, i cant beleive they just leave them there with a tablet or a snack or a toy while they nap, i cant believe they let them do that, i cant believe--” btich you literally have no idea how lucky you are that they are not both already dead. you are so lucky tehy are both alive and the parent isnt hospitalized for mental health or even physical exhaustion, or addicted to a stimulant (which includes caffeine), or using smth to relax like weed or alcohol (hello wine mom culture), or the kid isnt traumatized from watching their parent have repeatd breakdowns. that is literally better than most situations already. no matter how impossibly perfect the family could be in your mind, kids fuckin get hurt and they make mistakes and the PARENTS make mistakes bc theyre PEOPLE and yall this blows my mind that ppl dont realize this but,,,,, Little kids??? THEY DO NOT LISTEN TO THEIR PARENTS bc they essentially CANT..... for like YEARS there is a period they WILL NOT LISTEN TO YOU at ALL while they have the full autonomy and smarts and strength to cause horrible consequential problems, they are capable of learning how to circumnavigate your ‘babyproofing’ in new ways every single day, but they have ZEROOOOO MORALS OR CAUSE AND EFFECT SKILLS to understand RIGHT FROM WRONG, NO MATTER HOW OFTEN YOU TELL THEM!!!!! IT WONT CHANGE, ITS LITERALLY A PHYSICAL BRAIN THING THAT THEY CANT LEARN WHAT ‘NO’ MEANS FOR A WHILE YET!!! THIS CAN LAST FROM AGE 1 TO 4, SOMETIMES LONGER! THATS GENUINELY INSANITY INDUCING FOR THE ADULT WHOS KEEPING THEM IN LINE HUNDREDS OF TIMES A DAY, KNOWING ITS AMOUNTING TO ALMOST NOTHING UNTIL YEARS LATER!!!! IT DOESNT HELP WHEN PPL JUDGE YOU AND DONT BELEIVE YOU AND THINK YOU JUST ARENT ~TRYING HARD ENOUGH~! holy FUCK dude, idc if you wanna judge, im losing it bc i am being forced to keep my cool while a child whos pinching me and genuinely HURTING and BRUISING me laughs in my face bc he truly DOES NOT KNOW this, and there is NO WAY for me to convey it to make him stop at the moment!!!! thats maddening!!!

listen to me, neither of you dying or experiencing lasting damage is literally the goal every day, not just ‘raising them’, but that you both survive to the end of it. im appalled by how different the lifestyle is and the way ppl just... dont know that/REJECT that information so they get to judge. ofc tiny vulnerable innocent kids deserve the best, parents cannot always provide that if they want to Survive, bc they also deserve , basic understanding and humanity. you call out abuse all you want, theres a difference between the 'lesser of two evils’ choices, or even the genuinely Bad choices you can Accidentally make when at your wits end (which you should immediately correct anyways), and ever causing intentional physical or mental harm to the child, but the secodn yall start nitpicking or blatantly being ignorant to a struggle just so you get your blame validation in i literally cannot AFFORD to give you the time of day, im busy running on minutes of sleep, so if you think i have enough free time to entertain ur whining that my kids got a messy face and has been on his tablet in a highchair for an hour or w/e, idc, im using that time to shower for the first time in 2 weeks bc nobody else is gonna be there for me to let me do that shit :) so frankly put your money where your mouth is and help struggling parents whenever you can. i cant make shit better out of thin air.

“oh, but i dont have the money to help you.” YOU THINK IM AFFORDING CHILDCARE?? YOU CAN COME OVER AND HELP DIRECTLY WHILE I DO CHORES. “oh, but i dont wanna babysit for my friends, i dont like kids.” OH REALLY?????? OH YOU DONT LIKE KIDS??? BC THEYRE DIFFICULT MAYBE ??? SO MAYBE YOU SHOULDNT JUDGE WHEN ITS HARD THEN????? LIKE YOU RLY THINK JUST ‘LIKING THEM’ SUDDENLY MAKES IT EASY FOR ME?? YOU THINK ME FINDING MY NEPHEW CUTE AND LOVING HIM AND HIS LAUGHTER GIVES ME FUCKING SUPERMAN POWERS TO DEAL WITH THIS???????? “but You chose to have kids” rt in my case i literally didnt and would be homeless if not offering to help care for them but HEY COOL CONCEPT PRO CHOICE KINDA FUCKIN INCLUDES WHEN PEOPLE ‘CHOOSE’ TO HAVE KIDS EVEN WHEN THEY STRUGGLE AFTER, TOO LATE TO FUCKIN COMPLAIN NOW, JUST HELP A BITCH OUT. LIke... bro BRO b R O im losing it stop giving parents the inspiration porn treatment while disrespecting the actual struggles they go thru any time the child actually suffers bc they are unable to shield them from their struggle. can i be real, life literally will not go without struggle. you cannot raise them to have a life better than what the world is, you can do your best but you really cant MAKE it fair. once again this is not a ‘raise the perfect child’ contest you are just . trying to raise them at all. its messy. every single day you will have successes and failures, and you’ll be running on empty, and you’ll be doing that just to make it through to do it again tomorrow, while it slowly (AGONIZINGLY SLOWLY) gets easier each day. im tired of pretending lmao i dont wanna hear you bitches judge parents anymore, i dont wanna hear the stupid ass ‘im allowed to’ shit anymore dude!!!!! for gods sake i can agree with you when some shits just plain wrong but ill never apologize for standing up for myself or other struggling parents even if it makes you uncomfy, i can care about Both the child and the parent at the same time, ig i wont ask you why you seemingly cant. 😶 ESPECIALLY when things like classism and ableism tie in so often with these situations. not to mention racism like im white but hoooo if i hear one more story about a black parents ‘negligence’ in efforts of just trying to help their family, like leaving their kids somewhere during a job interview or w/e, vs the white parents that LET THEIR 10 YR OLDS WANDER AROUND MALLS BY THEMSELVES... im gonna scream. im gonna fuckin scream. its so unfair. fuck off, stop the spiteful ignorance, change this shitty hateful culture.

tldr; you Can care about kids while respecting parents, even when they arent perfect. you can advocate for children while also advocating for parents, and in fact, you should fucking try.