#BRO YOU ARE NOT ALEXANDER HAMILTON YOU DO NOT NEED TO WRITE THE OTHER FIFTY ONE.

[byrdi3]

BRO I FUCKING BLINKED THIS MAN DROPPED A THIRD FUCKING ONEE???????

[deadgaywaitress]

hamilton ; act i - plot explained

so this beautiful piece of art starts w everybody singing ab, you guessed it, a. ham. (alexander hamilton)

after they're done w all that, hamilton is looking for a. burr who basically tells hamilton to shut up and look pretty but ham is a lil slow on this concept. (aaron burr, sir) hamilton meets his boyf j. laurens, some french dude lafayette, + some guy who fucks horses herc mulligan. ham shows off to them ab how he doesn't shut up. (my shot) the bros all chat ab how they'll be bros forever. (the story of tonight) then we meet a few rich gals, angelica, eliza, + peggy. (the schuyler sisters)

so there's this dude sam seabury who fuckin h a t e s the american rev & ham is like 'u r super dumb & wrong.' (farmer refuted) king george iii sings a breakup song to usa. (you'll be back)

ham, burr & their bros join this army & while the army skrts from nyc, g. washington is like 'hot damn i have no friends' & ham swerves on in all like 'I AM HERE' & then they became bffs. (right hand man)

ok so those ladies from earlier, their daddy philip is throwin a rager & ham wants to get his dick wet w a schuyler kiddo. (a winter's ball) angie introduces eliza to ham & eliza is all heart eyes at him & it is so frickin cute & they get married. (helpless) BUT angie also wants to get her dick wet w alex but she's not gonna tell him bc her sis is a ray of sunshine & she wouldn't break her heart like that. (satisfied) the bro squad is gettin wasted after the wedding & burr tells ham he's fucking this sweetie theodosia who's married to a b r i t i s h officer !!! (the story of tonight reprise) ham supports burr like a good "friend" & tells burr to tell ppl ab it. but burr decides to avoid his problems & be a pussy. (wait for it)

ok so now the revolution is happening and big chillin and hamilton reeeaaaaaaaalllly wants to be put in command but washington reeeaaaaaaaalllly doesn't give a fuck and promotes this fella charles lee which was such a goof for him bc in the battle of monmouth lee literally does the exact opposite of what washington said to. so washington is all like 'hm since ur fired if only there was someone else who wanted to be in command. oh yes i know!! lafayette has been h*ckin wanting to do this!!' so lee just talks mad shit ab washington. (stay alive) so at this point alex is a lil feisty but doesn't wanna do anything his daddy george says not to. instead alex's boyf laurens duels lee & ham is laurens' 2nd while the ever loyal burr is lee's 2nd. laurens fucks up lee a lil bit & is all good w that. (ten duel commandments) washington is pissed ab all that so he kicks ham out. (meet me inside) so ham goes home and eliza is preggers!!! ham is a lil insecure that eliza will leave him n shit but she's a sweetie and reassures him. (that would be enough)

lafayette being the baguette he is gets france to help out the us. he raps super fast & makes everybody even more in love w him. he and washington realize they need our mans alex to go thru w their plan for yorktown so washington lets alex be in command!! (guns and ships) ALRIGHT so it's the night of the battle washington is talking to his son alex & tells him to not fuck up. (history has its eyes on you) the army WON after fighting for a bit bc the british surrender !!!! (yorktown) now king georgey is confused on wtf is happening. (what comes next)

a lil bit after the battle, eliza has bby philip and alex and burr also has a bby named theodosia and they sing a cute lil lullaby ab it. (dear theodosia) ready to cry kiddos ???? good. alex gets a letter saying that his boyfriend laurens was killed in a stupid fucking dumb battle. alex is really torn up about this and just doesn't stop writing shit. (tomorrow they'll be more of us) now we're getting into a big banger. alex and aaron are both going back to nyc cause they wanna be lawyers. burr is jealous of alex as all hell and alex gets chosen for the constitutional convention !!!! ok so alex and these guys john jay and james madison got together to write the federalist papers. they were gonna write 25 essays. john jay got sick after writing five. james madison wrote 29. hamilton wrote the other FIFTY-ONE!! good old angelica says that she's getting married to this dude she doesn't rlly like & she's moving to london. president washington gets alex to be treasury secretary but eliza is not a fan of that. (non-stop) END OF ACT ONE FELLAS!!!