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#BREAK THOSE CHAINS limiting your sparkle factor
squeakadeeks · 7 years
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I dont think I posted more of my Conrad? I usually restrain myself to more natural edits, but I really wanted to have fun and make some pretty pictures ✨✨
Photography by https://www.facebook.com/2manuallyfocus/ (2ManuallyFocus)
Cosplay, Model, and additional edits by Squeakadeekn (me)
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redqueen-hypothesis · 4 years
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memory traveler ➳ gavin (mlqc)
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➳ PAIRING: reader x gavin bai (mlqc)
➳ WORD COUNT: 3383
➳ GENRE: winter world! gavin, slight divergence from canon (at this point do the elex writers even know what’s going on), angst
➳ SYNOPSIS: contains spoilers for chapter 24+, direct references from gavin’s SP karma date dream traveler. 
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i. parting
In the light of the sun setting over Loveland City, he sees you again.
Sitting at a park bench along the road, you’re wrapped in a soft woollen coat and a light scarf draped around your shoulders, hands tucked into your pockets and seemingly lost in thought as you watch the traffic and pedestrians move before you like a vignette film. Yet, you’re the only thing in that frame that doesn’t move, still and painfully out of place, a strange expression on your face that he can’t quite put his finger on - as if you’re searching for your place amongst the crowd.
Gavin knows he’s on a mission, but he can’t help but slow his footsteps as he walks towards you, as if drawn to you by an invisible force tugging at him. As he steps closer, a shining gleam on your wrist catches his eye - a small ginkgo charm hanging from your hand reflecting golden evening light.
Slight regret pulls at the seams. The person you had so desperately been looking for... you still haven’t found him, have you? If you had, you would definitely be with him now, smiling and laughing with those bright eyes he had borne witness to during the Eternal Winter incident. If he had found the person you were looking for, perhaps... you wouldn’t be wearing that expression of crippling loneliness on your face.
Before he can call out your name, however, you’ve already lifted your head to meet his eyes, slight surprise flitting over your features before a smile settles on your face at last. It’s not a bright smile, but a quiet, resigned one, filled with a trace of nostalgia and a hint of pain.
“Gavin.” You say softly, and he barely hears you over the rush of traffic coming from the street, his name barely over a whisper in the wind.
“Hey.” He greets back, taking a step closer. The wind tugs loose a few leaves from a nearby tree and sends them spiralling between the two of you, and your eyes break away from his for a second to watch them as they fall to the ground. “Long time no see.”
At his brief words, your smile falters slightly, disappointment written all over your face, and Gavin presses his lips together, mildly concerned. Did he say something that he wasn’t meant to?
“What’s wrong?” He asks. You hesitate for a moment, eyes wavering, and Gavin knows in an instant that you’re hiding something from him. A small bit of disappointment tugs at the corner of his heart. Sure, he’s known that you were hiding things from your very first meeting, from your involvement with the Eternal Winter incident and your identity as Queen, but now that the problem was resolved, Gavin had thought that you would be ecstatic.
He was wrong.
But then you’re taking a deep breath and smiling up at him, voice slightly shaky. “Where have you been all this time? I’ve been... looking for you.” Your words grow softer and softer, trailing off. You sound like you’re trying to choose your words carefully, and he wishes you wouldn’t. “I was... worried about you.”
Gavin pauses a moment to take in this information. The two of you have only known each other for a limited amount of time, yet you’re worried for him, seem to have been for a while. “Pretty good.” He says, to reassure you. “After the sattelite launch tower mission, it was arranged for me to hibernate and recover, so my contact with the outside world was cut off.”
He wants to say he’s sorry for leaving you alone, but hesitates. The last time the two of you had been together, he had lost control of his Evol. He remembers you trying to protect him from the rest of the NW team that had come in to sedate him, a weak powerless thing with your fragile body flung in front of his to protect him. “Speaking of, I never got a chance to thank you.”
You blink at him, surprise flickering in your eyes. “Thank me?” You sound genuinely stunned, as if trying to protect him was second nature instead of something to be thanked for. From the way that you’re reacting, he can guess that the incident isn’t even on your mind. “Why?”
Gavin decides to change his words. “For resolving the ‘Eternal Winter’ incident.” He says briskly, watching your expression closely. “I don’t know exactly what happened, but you did it. Your persistence paid off.”
You smile weakly at him. For the key factor in resolving the incident, you don’t look particularly joyful at the results you’ve achieved. In fact, now that he thinks about it, you barely mention the incident at all - he hasn’t heard any news of anyone claiming to have stopped the Eternal Winter. Everyone simply thinks that it happened to be a miracle, but the miracle is sitting in front of him right now on a park bench in the flesh.
“It was nothing. How about you? Did you get hurt during the mission?”
Back to him again. Your concern over a man you’ve barely met confuses him, but he can sense that it’s genuine. Gavin nods slowly. “It’s nothing serious.”
A smile - a real one this time, no matter how small - blossoms on your face like a blooming flower, gentle and sweet to look at. “As long as you’re safe.” Your smile is real, but it’s a flower decorated with thorns that stab you the tighter you hold on to it, you look like you’re hurting on the inside. “I’m really, really happy that you’re safe.”
“You don’t look happy.” The words fall from his mouth before he can stop them, but a slight scowl flits across your face and you puff up your cheeks slightly at him.
“That’s what my ‘happy’ face looks like, alright?”
That’s what is missing, Gavin realises as he watches you pout indignantly at him. Your indomitable fighting spirit in the face of all odds, how you had been so determined to carry on even when confronted with overwhelming obstacles and danger. After the Eternal Winter incident, you look weary and tired on the outside, but when he seeks a little more closely, that tiny spark in your eyes seem to have been lost.
“Well, Loveland is back to normal again.” Gavin says quietly, trying to reassure you. He doesn’t like the idea of you continuing on with that pained expression on your face, especially when he’s not going to be able to see you much from now on. “Everything will be okay, I’m sure of it.”
The second he says those words, your expression almost crumbles behind that thin facade of calm, fingers gripping the bracelet around your wrist tightly. That man again... just how precious is he to you?
“That person you wanted to find...” Gavin hesitates for a moment. “Did something happen?”
Anguish still lingers in your gaze, and you seem to almost curl up on yourself at his words. “No...” Your voice cracks slightly. Gavin frowns, takes a step forward. Something must have happened, for you to react that way. But whether to reassure, to comfort, he doesn’t know.
“I’m sorry we didn’t find the person you’re looking for.” He apologises sincerely. “But if you want to, we will continue to search-”
“No need.” Your words take him by surprise, and the rest of his sentence dies on his lips. You’re cradling the tiny bracelet with your hand, running your fingertips over the silver links with a pained smile, as if you’re trying to connect with that man’s touch through metal and steel. “I already found him.”
Gavin’s eyes widen, slightly surprised. You’ve already found him? “Then, why aren’t you with him-”
You look at him with a painfully tender smile, eyes sparkling with the barest hint of tears. “He’s...” You pause, struggling to find the words. “He’s not coming back anymore.”
Your words grow more and more choked, and Gavin can’t help but move forward to squeeze your shoulder with one hand. “I’m sorry.” He speaks softly, unsure of what else to say. But it seems to have been the right choice, because you look up at him and manage a smile, cracked and brittle at the edges.
“It’s not your fault.” Your breath leaves you in a shaky exhale. With a final forced laugh, you turn to face him. “I should probably... throw this away, shouldn’t I?”
Gavin blinks down at what’s clutched tightly in your hand. Delicate silver chain and golden gingko charm twisted between your fingers, chaining you to an unknown man whose presence has left your life.
Leave it and move on, Gavin wants to say, but for no reason the words are stuck in his throat, unwilling to leave. Don’t! A voice at the back of his mind suddenly screams, urgent and desperate. Don’t throw it, please, don’t... Distress almost tormenting sweeps through him without explanation, and he has to employ all his will to stop himself from shouting his refusal.
When Gavin had the bracelet on him, with the intention to return it to you, he had looked it over once or twice in moments of idleness. The unprofessional but careful lines that shaped the little charm had told him that it was clearly crafted by the hand of someone who wasn’t an artisan. The person who made it clearly must have put volumes of effort and care into this gift, but then why would he leave you all alone like this?
Gavin had run a search on the GPS tracker he had found embedded inside the bracelet. No results had matched it, as if the person had never existed.
A dead end. A hopeless case. And yet Gavin still can’t find the strength to tell you to throw it away.
Your fingers still on the bracelet, before a slight, resigned smile crosses your face. “He waited for me six years, though.” You say softly, more to yourself than to him as you look down at the little charm cradled in your palm before slipping it back onto your wrist. “I guess I can be a little patient.”
Relief floods him when he hears the ‘click’ of the clasp, and he tries to contain his expression. “You can do it.” He says, possibly the most gently he’s spoken in his entire life. You pause for a moment before you smile up at him, and the ache in his chest that he didn’t even know was there settles. “I know.”
With that, you rise to your feet, dusting off your pants lightly.
“Well then, Gavin. I’m sure I’ve already wasted quite a bit of your time.” You tell him, and he pauses, the words ‘don’t go’ lingering at the tip of his tongue, barely clinging on. He had almost spoken them out loud. He doesn’t know why he’s feeling this way, and it confuses him. “I should get going. Take care of yourself... and... well, I guess it’s good bye.”
“Wait.” He speaks before he knows what he’s saying, one hand reaching out to catch you by the elbow when you move to walk past him, away from him. “I’ll... see you again, won’t I?”
He doesn’t understand the fear that lurks deep in his belly at the thought of never seeing you again. It’s a foolish one, of course, he could easily track your movements with his connections in NW, and finding you would be a simple task. But still his fingers won’t seem to obey rationality, and his grip on you doesn’t loosen.
You look back at him, surprise crossing your features for a moment before you smile at him, warm and soothing as the first spring breeze that signals the end of winter.
“Of course.” Your voice is impossibly soft, and so, so tender. “We’ll definitely see each other again.”
ii. reunited
When you had said that the two of you would see each other again, neither of you had expected that it would be so soon.
From meeting in the VR game center, to participating in the game together, Gavin has to admit that it must have been a sheer stroke of coincidence, perhaps what others would call fate, that the two of you were brought together again. As he stands at the side of the piano room, watching you play the piano and guiding the younger image of himself along, he closes his eyes and basks in the powerful melody as if rises and falls.
“If only I had met someone like you back then, I wouldn’t be how I am now.”
The younger version of him says these words softly, and Gavin pauses, eyes blinking open to stare at the boy sitting next to you on the piano bench.Alarm rises in him when he catches the image of his younger self flicker slightly like a mirage, and he steps forward to pull you away from him.
“It’s dangerous, get away from him-” Gavin begins to say, but pauses when the boy utters the next few words, confusion lacing his voice.
“But... why can’t I read your memory?”
At his words, Gavin’s feet still where they are. Thoughts, unbidden and unchecked, run through his mind at the realisation - all the memories that had been constructed so far in the virtual world, they all had been his. By all means, the Evol should have affected you both, so why...
He turns to you, intending to pull you away from the unknown character before solving this question, but then you smile at the young Gavin sitting on the piano bench, seemingly undisturbed as you take his hand in yours gently.
“I’m afraid my memory is somewhere you won’t be able to follow.” Your voice is soft, secrets reflected in your eyes, hidden meanings in the words that fall from your lips. “But could you lend me your Evol just once... please? I want to take a walk down memory lane for one last time.”
That’s dangerous, Gavin wants to say, but the younger image of him stares at you for a moment before nodding. By instinct, Gavin believes that the man that wears the skin of his younger self will not hurt you. There’s no reason to it, but before he can rationalise it, the person he now knows to be an Evolver begins to speak again.
“People who live in constant denial will come to accept them as truths.” He says solemnly. “They need a voice to lead them out of the darkness... so thank you, mysterious lady.”
When the Evolver flickers and vanishes from sight, it’s just you left alone with him in a dark music room, the full moon shining outside the windows. Slightly confused at why he’s still there with you, Gavin takes a step forward towards you, a question forming on his lips.
Right before they can fall from his mouth, however, you turn back to the piano, put your fingers to keys, and begin to play.
A rich melody fills the air, ringing powerfully in his ears as your fingers strike every chord and note with ease, the music rising and falling like breathing, as if it’s alive. It swirls around him, lifting the senses, and with each new note that joins the harmony, the world begins to change and warp around you.
In a bright flash of colour, shapes and lines overlapping over each other, Gavin blinks once - and then you’re no longer in the piano room.
He has to blink a few more times to adjust to the light, by the brightness of the sun in the sky, it’s barely early afternoon. The two of you are standing on the sidewalk outside of a normal company building, blending in easily with the couples that are walking down along the street, hands held tightly. From the roses that some of them are clutching, Gavin surmises that it must be Valentine’s Day in Loveland City.
“Where are we?” Gavin turns to ask you. The afternoon light dances across your face, eyes soft and lips slightly parted, seemingly not hearing his question. He follows your gaze to a man standing beneath the shade of a tree, strangely out of place amongst all the couples wandering about and knows instantly from the sheer warmth in your eyes - this is the man you’ve been searching for the entire time.
His back is the only thing Gavin can see, dressed in a simple black jacket and jeans, but his build is athletic and strong, even from the distance. He appears to be waiting for someone, unhurried and patient, glancing once at the company building before turning back to check his phone. The immediate impression that Gavin gets of him is a firm, steadfast man.
One that would never have let you look like that on that park bench earlier.
“That’s him, isn’t it?” Gavin speaks quietly into air, as if afraid to disturb your serene memory. You nod slowly, a smile so tender spreading over your face that he feels like he’s intruding on something private.
“You’re right.” You say softly, eyes never leaving the man’s back once. “That’s him.”
The intensity in your eyes burn, a gentle, homely glow that he has only seen in the most lovestruck of people. Whoever this man is, you must love him very, very much.
“What’s his name?” Gavin asks, curiosity lingering in his throat. The question is meaningless, you’ve already found him so there’s no need for him to know, but he can’t help but want to know the name of the man who has you so enraptured, so captivated.
The corners of your lips lift ever so slightly into a sad smile, and you open your mouth to speak.
Just at that moment, the sliding doors of the company building open and a young office woman dressed in a blue and white dress stumbles out, clearly in a hurry. Pausing for a moment to adjust her heels, she raises her head to look at the solitary man under the tree, and Gavin watches as a bright, loving smile spreads across a familiar face.
Your face.
The ‘you’ before him doesn’t wear the weary, tired smile that he sees far too often on yours. Instead, it’s filled with innocent joy, pure and unadulterated, almost infectious. Your other self covers her mouth with one hand to stifle her giggles at the sight of the man’s, before she quietly tiptoes across the sidewalk to her prey. What she clearly doesn’t notice, however, is the way the man’s head tilts slightly at the sound of her shoes on the pavement. He already knows that she’s approaching, recognises her just from the rhythm of her footsteps.
The man before him is attuned to her, to you, every fibre and every sense of him.
Yet, he doesn’t turn his head back and chooses to remain still instead, scrolling through his phone leisurely. His other hand taps a slow rhythm on his thigh, amused.
The girl sneaks up behind him, moving forward to cover his eyes playfully with her hands. Before she can do so, however, the man spins around and grabs both her wrists before she can react. She stumbles, a little yelp that turns into happy laughter when he catches her by the waist instead, pulling her close effortlessly.
“His name...” you begin to say softly, startling him out of his daze. His eyes can’t help but be drawn to them, as if magnetic. The man lets out a softer laugh, shaking his head at the woman’s antics, but the sound is impossibly fond even to him.
And bizarrely familiar.
As if in a trance, he takes a step forward, an urge to see just what this man looks like clinging to his mind. The man in the black jacket sets the woman back down, voice firm and steady as he utters the words ‘I got you’ with all the sincerity the world can offer.
A promise. A vow. An oath to never leave your side.
The man turns around, face illuminated by golden sunlight to reveal a gentle smile and amber eyes that sparkle with happiness. Amber eyes that look just like his.
“His name,” you whisper, and every word that leaves your lips echoes in his ears like the sound of a gunshot, “is Gavin.”
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kingkeerys · 7 years
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the art of chasing ♔ billy hargrove
concept: steve has a female best friend and billy has taken it upon himself to flirt with her just to piss steve off. that’s it. that’s the plot.
a/n: i don’t know where this came from. it just sort of happened. it’s not really an imagine bc i don’t like writing in second person or even first person, hence the reason the girl actually has a name. but i guess it can classify as one. i’ll be glad to write more if people enjoy it. also just a disclaimer, i don’t condone billy’s behavior in the show. i know he’s an asshole. but i do love dacre montgomery, so. this happened. also this has no timeframe, it’s just basically taking place randomly in season 2. each scenario is numbered separately that way i can write however many i want whenever i want. sound good?~~
just a young gun with a quick fuse,
i was uptight, wanna let loose.
i was dreamin’ of bigger things and
wanna leave my old life behind.
#1
“’Bullshit, bullshit, bullshit…’” he reiterated in a high-pitched rendition of Nancy Wheeler’s voice.
Annie’s eyebrows rose as she replaced a few things in her locker.
“Ouch,” she said, frowning a bit. “Are you sure she knew what she was talking about? I mean, she was drunk. She might not have even heard what you said. Drunk people usually don’t.”
Steve Harrington gave her a dubious look as he leaned against the locker next to hers. He inclined his head, a strand of brown hair falling down over his forehead.
“She knew,” he said. “She heard me loud and clear. Good to know the last year has been nothing but bullshit to her.”
“I mean, she has been through a lot,” Annie reluctantly added, closing her locker with a sigh. “With her brother’s friend and then Barbara. You said it yourself, she’s been distant lately ever since her friend was declared… well, you know. It’s probably just stress.”
“I thought you hated Nancy,” Steve squinted over at her, as if betrayed that she was suddenly taking his girlfriend’s – ex-girlfriend’s? – side for once. “And now you’re defending her?”
“I don’t… hate her,” Annie disagreed carefully.
It was mostly the truth. Annie had a hard time hating anyone but if there was a person that came close to it, it was Nancy Wheeler.
She never understood the hype around the girl. Sure, she was pretty with a bright pair of blue doe eyes and she didn’t seem stupid considering her grades, but Annie never saw the appeal. She became exasperated when Steve started to chase after her the year prior and she tried to be the pliant, accepting best friend whenever Nancy was around for his sake, but that was as far as it went. Nancy seemed like a very two-dimensional person - almost artificial but not completely fake, like she tried to be a good person but it was for all the wrong reasons.
Not that Annie had any right to judge considering she’d only spoken about ten words to the girl. She couldn’t even pretend like she knew her personally so her judgement was all speculation at this point, and Nancy had never been directly rude to her whenever Steve had her around.
She did feel bad when her friend Barbara went missing though because, unlike Nancy, Barbara had been very approachable and kind. And it was clear that her disappearance really struck a chord in Nancy, causing her to go off the rails a bit and act slightly less goodie-two-shoes than usual. Again, not something Annie could judge since she was a bit of a goodie-two-shoes herself, but it was still a change worth noting.
Annie assumed Nancy’s situation with Barbara would be the equivalent to Steve going missing. If she lost him she didn’t know what she’d do. It made her sick to her stomach just thinking about it.
So no, she didn’t hate Nancy. But she didn’t like her either.
“And I’m not defending her,” Annie continued, pulling herself back into the present. “I’m just trying to see the story from both sides. But I’m sorry she said that to you,” Annie gave him a sympathetic look.
Steve heaved a deep sigh and turned to where his back was against the locker. He tilted his head back, his head hitting dully against the metal door.
“It’s just stupid. Things weren’t this complicated last year.”
“I know what you mean,” Annie nodded, reflecting on the past couple of months. “Ever since Will Byers went missing it’s like there’s been this chain reaction. Everything’s just been… weird.”
Steve snorted. “You have no idea.”
Annie glanced over at him. “What are you going to do?”
Steve mutely shook his head. Annie immediately understood what that mean. I have no idea.
She opened her mouth to say something else, maybe give him a confidence boost or talk negatively about Nancy to make him feel better, when loud laughter stopped her short.
She peered around Steve and spotted one of the banes of his existence prowling down the hallway with a bounce in their step. The boy’s snakelike grin stretched wide across his face the second his eyes found Steve’s miserable form and Annie felt dread pool in her gut at what might transpire.
“Why the long face, Harrington?” he mocked, the boys behind him muffling their laughter into closed fists. “Couldn’t get it up her skirt last night? Too much bullshit to satisfy the missus?”
Steve’s jaw clenched at the backhanded comment.
Annie placed a hand on his arm, quietly hoping he wouldn’t take the bait. Thankfully he kept his mouth shut, though his eyes were sharp as daggers.
The boy guffawed at Steve’s cold look before he turned his attention to Annie as he passed by them.
“Hey there, cutie,” he winked, flashing her a dazzling smile full of white teeth and Annie stiffened, her insides feeling hot. That was new. He’d never acknowledged her before on any of his other verbal attacks at Steve.
Steve must’ve noticed this too for his posture straightened and he kicked away from the locker, his shoulders squared as he stared the boy down, mentally debating with himself whether he wanted to instigate a fight or not. His glare didn’t go unnoticed and the boy laughed loudly again, covering his mouth with a bejeweled hand in callous mockery before him and his posse disappeared around the corner in all their denim-clad glory.
Annie released the breath she hadn’t realized she’d been holding and she glanced over at Steve who was still staring in the direction the boy had disappeared in. It was obvious his feathers had been rustled, no doubt the boy’s intentions from the get-go.
Annie patted his arm and his shoulders slowly lost their tension.
“He’s such an asshole,” said Steve sourly.
Billy Hargrove certainly was an asshole.
He tormented others for his own personal enjoyment and more often than not Steve was on the receiving end of it. Annie couldn’t think of two people that were more opposite than Steve and Billy. They were night and day personified and that was probably one of the reasons why Billy felt the need to make Steve’s life a living hell. That and the fact that he just could.
There were few things Billy didn’t get away with, which was irritating to Annie. If there was one thing she hated more than people breaking the rules, it was people who allowed those rules to be broken.
Billy was a boy of average height and stocky build with blonde hair that fell just below his neck in an unkempt sort of way that could only be described as deliberate. His trademark was his acid-washed denim jacket and sun-kissed skin that had spent years under the California rays.
That was probably one of the reasons most of the girls at Hawkins High were enamored by him. A west coast boy with above average looks and a devil-may-care attitude to boot? They couldn’t get enough of him. Another factor that seemed to piss Steve off to no end. A very small portion of that could be jealousy, Annie deduced. Being envious of the same sex’s appearance wasn’t limited to only girls. But mostly she knew he was just baffled by all the attention he got.
Because Billy was an asshole.
“I know,” Annie said calmly, shaking off her jitters. “He’s just trying to get under your skin. I wouldn’t worry about him.”
“Hard not to,” Steve countered. “He’s fucking everywhere.”
The bell rang and Annie tugged on the crook of Steve’s arm with an encouraging smile.
“C’mon, let’s go to class. We can get ice cream after.”
Steve let her lead him down the hall with a reluctant half-smile and for the moment Billy Hargrove and Nancy Wheeler were only distant worries.
* * *
not a yes sir, not a follower
fit the box, fit the mold
have a seat in the foyer
take a number
i was lightning before the thunder.
#2
“Did you do the math homework?”
“Is that even a question, Steve?”
Steve grinned despite himself.
“Overachiever,” he said fondly. Annie laughed as she moved forward in the lunch line and grabbed a clean tray from the pile.
“’Overachiever’ doesn’t mean someone who does work that’s required of them,” she said humorously. “That’s just a basic achiever.”
“Whatever,” Steve brushed her comment off, though his eyes were sparkling. He grabbed a tray of his own and placed it on the counter, sliding down the line as he gazed down at the steaming food with a scrunched nose. “What is this?”
“Pork I think,” Annie surveyed the heaping pile of brown goo in front of them with trepidation. Did pork usually have that much gravy?
“Beef stew,” one of the lunch ladies glowered at Annie, insulted with her assumption. Annie flushed and she heard Steve snicker next to her. The woman held a spoonful of the liquid up in question and Annie tried to smile through her embarrassed cringe.
“I’m a vegetarian,” she lied, trying to sound polite.
The woman rolled her eyes and grunted before slapping the chunky serving onto Steve’s plate instead. He grimaced but quickly covered it up with an overzealous smile that made Annie want to laugh too.
They continued moving down the line, holding their plates out for various side dishes that were offered to them.
“So, about that math homework,” Steve prompted as they neared the register, flashing his brown eyes at her. Annie pursed her lips at her best friend but ultimately caved, shoulders slumping.
“Fine, you can copy it,” she relented, trying and failing to sound disapproving. She lifted a finger. “But just this once. Maybe you should look into finding a tutor.”
“I hear you’re free,” Steve suggested with a mischievous grin.
“Suddenly my schedule’s all booked up,” Annie retorted. Steve huffed a laugh through his nose. “Aw man,” Annie frowned, eyes scanning the refrigerated shelves in front of her. “They don’t have any more oranges.”
“Health freak,” Steve quipped.
“Says the athlete with the low carb diet,” she fired right back. Steve stuck his tongue out at her.
Annie grinned to herself. He was in much higher spirits lately despite the continued rockiness of his and Nancy’s relationship, or lack thereof. She was relieved to see his chipper side returning, stewing silently in his renowned energy. She wasn’t sure but she had a theory that him spending more time with the kids – Dustin, Caleb, and Nancy’s younger brother, Mike – were the root cause of his improved mood.
“Does this look low carb to you?” he motioned to the vile brown liquid seeping into his side of macaroni.
“That doesn’t look like anything edible,” she said, wrinkling her nose. “I should’ve packed my lunch today. I really wish they had oranges. I wanted an orange.”
“I’ll buy you an orange later to make up for the homework,” Steve said, sounding both exasperated and amused. Annie smiled proudly.
She was getting ready to be next at the register and she got her money ready to hand to the lady waiting, only to feel someone saddle up next to her and ultimately cut her in line.
A scowl pulled at Annie’s brow and she opened her mouth to retaliate, only to have the objections die in her throat at the sight of who it was that cut her.
Billy Hargrove was smiling at the lunch lady, seemingly oblivious to the fact that he marched himself to the front of the line with no disregard for courtesy. Her eyes flitted downward and her scowl deepened. He had an orange in his hand.
Whilst Annie remained stubbornly quiet, Steve had no reserves and he glared venomously at the curly-haired boy.
“Hey,” he snapped, leaning around Annie to get a view of the boy. “Get to the back of the line, man.”
“I’m sorry, do you hear something?” Billy asked, apparently to the lunch lady as his gaze didn’t waver from hers, tapping his ear in false curiosity. “It’s like this weird buzzing sound.”
“Nice one, dipshit,” Steve retorted. “Real mature.”
“Language,” the woman admonished without much heat. Steve gave her a slack-jawed look.
“Sorry, ma’am, I just wanted to let you know that I can’t pay today,” Billy said, voice pleasant. The act was so convincing that Annie could almost believe he wasn’t a terror to be around. The woman narrowed her eyes at him, obviously displeased.
“This is the third time this week, Billy.”
“I know. I just need one more day. I’m only getting this,” he held the orange up. He smiled charmingly again. “Please?”
His blue eyes glittered like the ocean and apparently not even the older women could resist his rugged allure. She sighed in defeat.
“Alright, tomorrow then.”
“Thank you, ma’am. I sure do appreciate it,” he gave her one last winning smile before turning to face Steve. The once amiable, school b0y smile transformed into something more poisonous. Steve held his ground, accepting the stare-off and Annie glanced between the two of them warily, once again afraid of all the potential fights that could ensue, but Billy broke the gaze before any of them could play out. He looked down at her and smirked easily, outstretching the orange. “Here, sweetheart.”
Annie stared at the orange for a full five seconds before cautiously accepting it. Billy bestowed her with another wink and his eyes flashed sharply up at Steve whose glare could melt skin before he turned on his heel and waltzed off, ever the image of satisfaction and arrogance. The intense musk of his cologne hit Annie on the back end and for a second she couldn’t think straight, only able to shake herself out of her stupor when Steve sniffed next to her.
“He’s doing this on purpose,” Steve muttered, eyes dark and murderous. “He’s fucking with you to fuck with me. Asshole.”
“Language, Mister Harrington.”
Annie quickly handed the woman her money when the woman prompted her with an impatient look. She waited for Steve to pay for his food and then followed him to a nearby table that didn’t have any other students. They sat down across from one another and Annie realized Steve’s mood had turned sour from the encounter.
“Fucking Billy,” he glanced over his shoulder across the room and spotted Nancy sitting closely with Jonathan Byers, murmuring conspiratorially to him and sitting closer than necessary. He turned back around. “Fucking Nancy.”
“I’m sorry, Steve,” Annie said for lack of anything better. She stared down at the orange, turning it over in her hands.
Weird.
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a-splash-of-stucky · 7 years
Text
Operation Soulmate | Six
Pairings: Steve x Reader || Bucky x Reader || Bucky x Steve || Bucky x Nat
Summary: Life becomes a lot more complicated than it already was, if that were possible.
Warnings: Language.
Notes: For @marvelous-fvcks‘ writing challenge. Prompt: Heart. Your minds will be shook after this one.
Operation Soulmate Masterlist
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It’s late when you finally pull into the garage at the compound. You’d stayed for dinner at Mia’s house, caught up with your brother-in-law Neil, then helped both of them put the kids to bed. The mundaneness of their domestic life had been a welcome reprieve from the chaos and unpredictability at the compound, and you’d let yourself get swept away in their little bubble for a while. For those few blissful hours, you’d pretended that nothing was wrong in your life.
Now, you need to return to reality.
With a tired sigh, you get out of your car — which is technically Tony’s car — and head inside, hoping that at this late hour, no one’ll be awake. You’re not really in the mood to deal with anyone right now. You’d brought a lot of your things back from your sister’s house, but you leave them in the backseat of the car to deal with in the morning, as you’e too exhausted to even think about carrying them in. All you want is a nice hot shower, followed by a long, dreamless sleep.
You swing by the kitchen to grab a glass of water before you turn in for the night. When you get there, you find Bucky sitting at the counter, silently munching on a bowl of cereal. His shaggy black hair is pulled into a messy bun, and he’s clothed in a comfortable-looking burgundy sweater and some loose sweatpants.
“Hey, Y/N,” Bucky says quietly, flashing you a brief smile. “Had a good day?”
“Y-yeah,” you stutter, mentally cursing yourself for letting him affect you so strongly. Already, you can feel the quickening of your heartbeat in your chest, the slight clamminess in your palms, and an unsettling twist in your sternum. You turn your back to Bucky as you snag a glass from the cabinet, hoping that if you don’t look at him, your system will be able to calm itself down. What is wrong with your body? It’s just Bucky, and he’s only said six words to you so far, why can’t you get a hold of yourself?
Huffing frustratedly, you use your left hand to pour yourself some water from the jug, whilst the right one clutches the counter for support. Out of the corner of your eye, you catch something sparkle brightly. Frowning, you turn to look at your hand and almost drop the jug in shock.
The Soul Stone. It’s green.
Holy crap. 
Holy shit.
Holy—
Bucky is your soulmate.
Your sister’s voice rings inside your head, her words suddenly having a more  profound implication.
“Some people have described it as a tugging in their heart…a lot of people experience less obvious things, like an accelerated pulse, or giddiness, or breaking out in cold sweat,”.
All of a sudden, the way your body acts when you’re around Bucky makes a whole lot more sense. He’s your soulmate — that’s why you feel giddy and nervous whenever he’s near, why your heart goes haywire and your hands go sweaty. That tugging sensation in your sternum? That’s your body trying to tell you that your soulmate is literally sitting two feet away from you!
Hundreds of thoughts flit through your head as you try to process this discovery. Millions of questions perch on the tip of your tongue, just begging to be asked. Should you tell him? It’d be so easy to turn around, shove the ring in his face and blurt out everything you know, consequences be damned. This is what your basal urges are pushing you to do, but a niggling voice in the back of your mind instructs you to bite your tongue. There are still dozens of other things to consider.
Oh god.
What about Steve? What about Natasha? The situation between them and Bucky is complicated enough as it is. Adding this factor into the mix would simply add an unnecessary layer of confusion.
Of course the universe just had to fuck things up further. It’s not like there’s enough people vying for Bucky’s attention already, right?
“Y/N?” Bucky asks, his gravelly voice snapping you out of your deep thoughts. You whip around to look at him, shoving the hand with the ring into the pocket of your hoodie so that he won’t see it. Bucky is looking at you with a concerned expression on his face. “You okay? You’re pretty quiet,”, he says.
“I’m fine,” you respond quickly. “I-I’m just tired, is all,” you squeak, flashing Bucky a wry smile.
“Huh,” he mutters, standing up to take his bowl to the sink.
“Um, I’ll just—be heading to bed now, g’night!”. And with that, you practically bolt out of the kitchen and sprint down the corridor, ignoring whatever perplexed look he might have had on his face.
When you get to your room, you slam the door shut and lean against it, panting heavily as your heart thunders inside your chest.
James Buchanan Barnes is your soulmate.
Of all seven billion people in this world, it had to be him?!
You’re not complaining, not exactly. You’re not complaining about the fact that you have a soulmate; soulmate pairs have one of the purest bonds on this earth, and it is a blessing for you to be granted one. For the universe to deem you worthy enough to experience this bond…that’s a privilege that very few are fortunate enough to have. Beyond that, not only do you have a soulmate, you’ve also found him, which, as your sister said earlier today, was a rather unlikely thing to happen.
The timing of it all is simply, rather unfortunate.
With a resigned sigh, you push yourself off the door and trudge to your bathroom, peeling off your clothes and dumping them into the laundry basket en route. You turn on the shower and step into the stream of warm water, turning your face into the spray as if hoping that it can wash away the uncertainty roiling inside your head. The steady thrum of water droplets hitting the tiled floor is the perfect soundtrack for your dissonant mind, so you close your eyes and let yourself think.
First, there is the issue of Steve.
He’s loved Bucky for so long, clinging desperately to the hope that one day, they be together as he’s always wanted. You have a feeling that this dream is one of the only things keeping his life together, pulling him through each day as the burden of being Captain America becomes increasingly oppressive. The image of Steve’s face — joyous and content — when the two of you were discussing ideas for Operation Soulmate pops into your head. It’s a memory that sends a stab of pain through your heart, as you can’t even begin to understand the agony he will be in when he discovers that Bucky is not his to have, both because of Natasha and because of you. It seems that the universe does not want those two to be together.
It’s probably for the best, you think wryly, they’d cause too much trouble, otherwise.
Can you really be the person to crush Steve’s dreams? Do you want that weighing on your conscience forever? Can you live with yourself, knowing that in order to obtain your open happiness, you sacrificed Steve’s only source of hope?
Your thoughts become even more sombre when you turn your attention to Bucky’s secret relationship with Natasha. You remember how her face had lit up when she talked about him, her voice going soft and gentle in a way you’d never heard it before. She’s your best friend. She deserves love and happiness and contentment too, after all the trials she was dragged through as a child. If she finds all that with Bucky, who are you to take that away from her?
You realise that water has started to develop a chill. A glance at your hands tells you that you’ve been standing in the shower for long enough that your fingers shrivelled up and turned prune-like. After shutting off the water, you grab your towel from off the rail, using it to pat yourself dry before wrapping it around your body. You pad over to your drawers to grab an oversized t-shirt and a pair of shorts to sleep in.
The glow of the gem on your finger catches your attention again. It’s back to its calming cerulean colour, now that you’ve put some distance between yourself and Bucky. You cross to your dressing table and slide open the top drawer, rifling through the small box of jewellery you keep in there. You pull out an old necklace of yours with a thin silver chain, perfect for the purpose you have in mind.
Carefully, you remove the crystal pendant that is currently dangling on the chain and replace it with your grandmother’s ring. Once it’s been secured, you drape the necklace over your head and tuck the ring under your shirt to hide it. You want to keep the ring with you — partly because it reminds you of your grandmother, and partly because you want to be reminded of Bucky — but don’t want to wear the ring on your finger, lest people start asking what is is, or why it starts turning green whenever Bucky is near.
That’s a conversation you don’t want to have anytime soon.
Once you’ve adjusted the chain to the correct length, you head to your bed, collapsing on top of it with a groan. In the darkness, your mind begins to think about Bucky. He’s the uniting force in all of this, the person who everyone seems to be fighting over, whether they are conscious of this or not.
Do you even want to be with him?
You don’t know if you love Bucky. When you were Steve’s girlfriend, you obviously cared for Bucky’s wellbeing, mostly because when Bucky had a good day, Steve was in a good mood. You wrack your brain, trying to analyse your feelings for this man. You’ve have limited interaction with him in the last couple of years, but on the rare moments where Bucky smiled at you — properly smiled at you, with his nose scrunched up and everything — you recall a slight flutter in your chest. You remember the first time he laughed at one of your jokes, and the way your heart had done a somersault in response.
At the time, you thought nothing of your body’s reaction, because you were with Steve. You simply pegged those responses as a sense of triumph, your reaction at being able to coax Bucky from out of his shell. Now, you’re beginning to wonder if you’ve been subconsciously in love with him all this time.
You wonder if Bucky feels the same whenever you’re near. Does his heart race? Does he get flustered too? He doesn’t show it, that’s for certain, but then again, you tend to be too focused on not making a fool of yourself to really take note of how he acts around you. You remember what Mia said about auras being altered by medication and the presence of other romantic relationships. You know that Bucky has been prescribed various drugs by his doctors to help cope with his depression and mood swings and, though you’re not entirely sure how he feels about Nat, he is most definitely in a relationship with her. You’re also willing to bet that extensive brainwashing has taken its toll on his energy. Maybe these factors have weakened his aura’s attraction towards you.
It’s probably be a good idea to talk to Mia about this, you muse.
But oh, how cruel the universe is. Just hours ago, you were thinking how nice it would be to know who your soulmate is. Now, that question has been answered with an ironic twist, the universe pairing you with the one person you can’t have. Bucky is your forbidden fruit. Being unable to love him, despite him being so tantalisingly close is a fact that will torment your every day.
Technically, there’s nothing stopping you two from being together.
You could tell Steve and Natasha the truth about you and Bucky. Surely, if they cared about you enough, they’d let you be with him. Even if Steve doesn’t believe in soulmates, you know that he will appreciate the rarity of this circumstance, and allow you to be together, if you should so wish. But that goes back to the question: are you willing to let your friends suffer, whilst you live out the rest of your life with the person you’re meant to be with?
Oh hell, you’re more confused than you’ve ever been. Can life get anymore complicated?
A gentle knock on your door breaks you out of your reverie. You lift your head up to see Steve come in, a small smile on his lips. “Hey,” he whispers, coming to lie down next to you on the bed. “FRIDAY told me that you went to see your sister today, how was that?”
“Good,” your murmur, somehow miraculously pulling your face into a smile, so as to disguise the emotional turmoil raging inside you.
“Can I talk to you, or is this a bad time?” Steve asks, lazily running his finger down your arm.
“You can always talk to me, Stevie,” you reply.
“Okay. So, I know you told me to lay off Bucky for a while, but guess what? He came to me today!” Steve says excitedly, grinning so hard you think that his cheeks might split.
“Really?” you ask, a more genuine smile creeping onto your features as Steve’s elatedness rubs off on you. Internally though, you’re wincing. Would Natasha wonder if you’d broken your word and helped Steve set up another outing with Bucky?
“Yeah! Can you believe it?” Steve asks, hand now gesturing enthusiastically, “He wanted to go to the Natural History Museum with — hey, are you okay?”
“Huh?” you say dumbly, eyes flicking up to meet his face. Steve rolls onto his side to look at you, concern causing lines to appear on his brow. Maybe your expression let on more than you wanted it to.
“Y/N?” he murmurs, tenderly stroking the back of his hand over your cheek, “You okay? You want me to go so you can sleep? We can talk in the morning,”.
It’d be so easy to say yes. But then, you remember how happy he looked telling you about Bucky, how his eyes had glimmered with warmth and his face had taken on a soft glow. Are you willing to forsake your own fairytale ending, in the hope that at least one of your friends can find theirs?
The answer comes with ease.
“Let’s talk, Steve. Tell me all about it,”.
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citypillow2-blog · 5 years
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Is Bloating Normal?
What is bloating and is it normal?
There’s been a rise in media outlets sharing magazine articles about “beating the bloat” or sharing content to make you think you should never feel bloated — so is that true?
As a Registered Dietitian, I hear this question all the time, and bloating (abdominal distension) is part of the normal digestion process. There are of course factors that may cause an increase in bloating, cases where bloating might not be normal, but in general, let’s break down what bloating is and why it occurs.
This information is important to learn for yourself, but also the next time you’re hanging with your girlfriends and someone complains they’re “so bloated”, you can teach them the normal reason behind bloating, how digestion works, and tips for reducing bloating if it’s temporarily uncomfortable.
What Is Bloating?
Depending on the individual, bloating will most likely look or feel different for each person. In general, bloating can feel like your stomach or core area is full, tight, gassy, physically swollen, stomach distended (i.e. “food baby” is often a comment that’s said), and in general uncomfortable around the core area.
For some people looking bloated is of more concern than feeling bloated. Many female clients come to me complaining about being “bloated” when in fact it’s not bloating caused by normal or abnormal digestion at all, but rather just a change in body composition they may not be used to. It could be water retention during that time of the month with menstruation, an increase in belly fat/weight gain, or eating too many salty foods.
What Causes Bloating?
You’re not alone! Did you know according to the NHS, people pass gas 15-20 times a day? There are several causes of bloating. In the general sense or in “normal” conditions, bloating is often a temporary feeling of fullness, usually due to intestinal gas.
After you eat, no matter what foods although you can see from the list below there are foods that cause more bloat than others, your stomach starts to break down the food. That food becomes small tiny digestible pieces, small enough so the food can go through the small intestine and onward.
Carbohydrates break down and fiber ferments which produce gas, which gas expands, causing bloating. Abdominal distension just means your stomach physically looks larger, again this is normal and is temporary after you eat or as food is digested.
Typically with bloating, it’s normal to feel temporarily bloated, full, or even gassy — these pass hours later or within the day, are not painful in any way, and are relieved by having a bowel movement, passing gas, drinking warm beverages to relax the digestive system, letting time pass, or even light stretching or exercising.
But the good news is, guess what, your body is properly digesting food and absorbing nutrients to fuel you!
Things you may not know cause bloating:
Drinking carbonated beverages, like sparkling water
Eating too fast
Not chewing your food thoroughly
Not eating enough fiber
Not drinking enough water
Not having a bowel movement at least once a day
Feeling very stressed
Smoking
Eating large or oversized portions
Taking certain medications
Adding probiotics to your routine
Eating too late before bedtime
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Is bloating normal?
Bloating can also be caused by health conditions such as IBS, food intolerances or sensitivities, celiac disease, lactose intolerance, acid reflux, PCOS, certain types of cancer, hernia, IBD, h pylori, intestinal obstruction, and more.
Click these articles to learn more about IBS and the Low FODMAP diet. In general, a FODMAP is a collection of naturally-occurring short-chain carbohydrates or sugars (only one or two sugars linked together), which the gut has trouble digesting in some people. FODMAP itself stands for Fermentable, Oligosaccharides, Disaccharides, Monosaccharides, and Polyols — all things people following the diet would aim to avoid.
A cheat sheet of questions to ask yourself if you need to go see your doctor or make an appointment with a dietitian:
uncontrolled vomiting
uncontrolled diarrhea
constipation, no bowel movements for days at a time
blood in your stool or in vomit
dizziness, light headiness
nausea with every meal
painful bowel movements
bloating with every meal you eat
Otherwise, if bloating comes and goes, is relieved by taking one or more listed actions above (or others that work for you!) then you’re most likely experiencing a normal process to digestion. You might even be asking why you get bloated after eating “healthy” foods? Well, that’s normal too! Some whole foods are more likely to cause you gas or bloating due to their starch content, sugars, or fiber.
Take a look at these common, healthy whole food choices that very commonly cause gas and bloating.
Whole foods that cause bloating:
If you need a little temporary relief to ease bloating, here are some ideas: first grab a cup of warm-hot peppermint tea (not if you have acid reflux, opt for ginger then) which can help soothe digestion and release gas, take a short 5 or 10 minute walk, do some light core stretching, try to use the bathroom if you need to go, drink plenty of water, take 5 minutes of deep breathing to decrease stress, and make sure at your next meal you chew the food properly!
Bottom Line
Remember that while our bodies are amazing, adaptive, and can work like clockwork, it’s still not a machine that operates with nothing weird happening.
Bloating after eating or bloating occasionally is part of normal digestion. Most of the time when I’m working with clients and educate them about normal bloating, they have an “ah-ha” moment where somewhere along the way, a story was told in their minds they should never be bloated, should always be feeling “light”, have a flat stomach, and no water retention. Our bodies will change from day to day and sometimes they do they’re own thing, bloating included, and that’s okay!
Check in with yourself and ask yourself if what you’re experiencing feels or seems out of the normal or reach out to your dietitian or physician if bloating is an everyday day challenge you face, if you find no relief, if it’s painful, or intruding your daily life.
Above all, you can experiment with your personal digestion and the activities and foods in this article to see which personally affect you. If you find what may be triggering bloating, you can limit those foods or work with a dietitian to get you on a plan and educate you.
Contribute!
Do you experience bloating occasionally? Have you discovered what foods or activities may trigger bloating for you? Share your story or chime in on Instagram #nutritionstripped
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Source: https://nutritionstripped.com/is-bloating-normal/
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