#BRAH i“M SORRY SHE”S THIS WAY

[hailtheknownworld]

🦴🔥💐 for my babygirl Svana pls !

🦴 : Does your OC have much sexual experience? What are they like?

Not a whole lot. Svana isn't wholly interested in sex that way. She's tried it once or twice just to see what it was like, but she wasn't wholly impressed.

🔥 : What’s a surefire way to make your OC get flustered?

Remembering the little things she likes. Svana's a very guarded person and a lot of people have An Idea of her being big and tough. But if someone remembers what her favorite food is or if she prefers fish, she'll start getting very flustered, very quickly.

💐 : What is their courting style? How would they woo someone?

Oh, Svana does not 'woo'. She doesn't think anyone would find her attractive and has sort of accepted that she'll just grow old and badass. She doesn't have a clue on how flirting works and has NO idea on how anyone gets anyone attracted to each other. Definitely the sort of person who goes, "You uh, fight good? Your hair is... nice?"

[apex-academy]

Chapter 5: Caring Is a Hazard to Your Health (#28)

Once our little break is over, everyone gathers to go to the gym.

Or actually, stop by the cafeteria first to grab a few supplies, and then to the gym. I end up getting volunteered to carry one of the little round tables. What kind of sports are we doing with these?

“...”

Moving on.

Kanagi has already made it to the top of the still-collapsed bleachers seconds after the rest of us step inside. She waves us down.

“You can set ‘em up wherever, dudes! We got three, right?”

“As far as I can tell.”

After a minute’s wandering, we set up the tables at vaguely regular intervals. Kanagi goes around giving them a kick—to make sure they don’t collapse, I guess??—but doesn’t pull up any chairs or anything else before returning to the bleachers.

“All right, dudes! We’re gonna kick this thing off with some arm wrestling!”

“Yaaaay!”

How are you excited? Your arms are freaking toothpicks.

“We’ve already determined our first matches! We’ll still go one at a time so we can all cheer each other on, but! If you’d like to wait at your tables!”

I don’t remember signing up for this. But three tables means two of us aren’t going, right?

...Betting Aidan’s one of them.

“Arright! At Table 1...”

“...whichever one that is...”

“...we’ve got Ich versus Yuks!”

“Okay...”

“Yay~”

The F-tier arm-wrestling league, I see. At least they’re trying to keep the first round fair. Ichiriki and Yuki head off for the closest table to get situated. Which is a sport of its own at at a low table too large to reach across easily, with no chairs.

“And then Table 2 isssss Kaich versus Kakumi!”

“Is it, now.”

“Nice.”

Kaichi heads for the table closest to the arbitrarily designated Table 1. I don’t have sufficient grounds to object, so I go over, too.

“And me and Iggy for Table 3!”

“Why is Kogamino the only one you don’t have to nickname?”

“Cuz she’s, like, kinda a butt about it.”

“And Mahavir isn’t?”

Well, whatever. Maybe she has trouble with foreign names. Or maybe she... just does whatever. I’m not here to try to figure her out.

“Oh... So Tsunyasha doesn’t get to play...?”

“A wise choice.” 

“Any of you sinners attempting to make physical contact with the Holy Assassin... Well, it would only serve to burn you terribly.”

“Like, actually I was hoping you’d help Aid set up the next game?”

“You think—”

“Cool, thanks, dude!”

“I—excuse me?”

Did Kanagi just win the random-off? Steep competition, too.

“All right!! We’ll begin with Table 1! Mister Tokino, Miss Kurokame, please prepare to face off!”

Yuki gives Ichiriki a very slow yet fairly shallow bow.

“I’m sorry... if I’m not very good competition.”

“That’s okay!! I have no idea what I’m doing!”

“Like... You do know how you’re supposed to stand ‘n’ stuff at least, right?”

“Nope!”

“Hummmm... I think it’s like this...?”

Wow, no idea why this duo wasn’t chosen for the climactic final battle.

With Kanagi’s intervention, they manage to get set up, though.

“And—Go!”

It either takes them a minute to respond to the command, or they just can’t exert enough force to make a visible difference. 

“Who am I supposed to root for again?”

“I usu’lly go with whoever’s winning.”

“Thanks.”

“Go go go go!”

“I’m trying...”

“This is fun!”

“It seems like an even match! Who will emerge victorious?”

I said no color commentary, but go off I guess.

It’s significantly more interesting to watch Tsunyasha bringing out tennis balls rather than the actual competition, but eventually we have a winner.

“Hahaha! I lost.”

“It was close, hummmm...”

“Nnnnnice.” I think she’s trying to wake up again. “Good job, Yuks!”

“Ohhh, is it Table 2′s turn now?!”

“Yup! You dudes ready?”

“ ‘S born ready, brah.”

“You do actually know what you’re supposed to be doing, right?”

“Oh, I never know what ‘m doing.”

He puts an elbow on the table and leans in. I stare for a minute.

“What, y’ bugging out ‘cause y’ get t’ hold a cute guy’s hand?”

“Absolutely not.”

“Gooooo, Kakumi!”

“Oh, right... we’re supposed to be cheering.”

“Um, go... everyone...?”

Weirdest sports day I’ve ever had.

I’ll get booed off the face of the planet if I don’t start soon, so I settle in and wait for Aidan’s countdown. Then the pressure is on. Literally. Kaichi may be a skinny guy, but what body mass he does have seems to be muscle.

I put in a passable effort, but it’s still over in a few more seconds. At least I offered enough resistance to keep my knuckles from getting crushed into the tabletop.

“Good game, brah.”

“Yeah...”

And once I’m out, I’m not paying attention to the rest. Guess I’m not a good spectator, but I don’t think any of us know who we’re supposed to be cheering for. It’s just weird to take sides for something like this. Or maybe it’s just me. I’ve never been that big on the whole sports scene. 

For some reason, Yuki versus Kaichi is next—two guesses who wins that one—and then Kanagi versus Mahavir. Whether Mahavir would have won in better condition or not I’ll never know, but Kanagi sweeps it. And Kaichi’s no competition for her.

Not much of a tournament, huh? Probably comes with the territory when only one person in the class got invited as a Super High School Level athlete. Then again, that may not be a foregone conclusion. I’m pretty sure it’d be even less of a competition if Otoya was here.

“.......”

I’m not sure what hit me just now. Probably grief? Doesn’t quite sting enough. Guilt? Maybe. ...Wistfulness? I don’t know. It’s still too hard to untangle the emotions. The best description I can put together is just a sort of dull throb in my head.

I... miss him, I guess. Odd thing to say about someone I barely ever saw, but. You don’t have to hang out all the time to be friends.

“W-we’re… fr-fr-friends, r-right?”

"......”

Before the fourth case, I hadn’t really had to deal with this kind of loss. Kazusuke? Not even close to friends. Mary Jane? Same. Kokoro? Probably close, but we just didn’t have time to get to know each other. Aidan... betrayed me, I guess? At least, that was the easiest way to think about it. And...

...he’s also alive now, so not a great time to be thinking about his loss.

But then Arthur, Itsurou... still pretty neutral. And if we’re talking about betrayals...

“...”

I can’t even feel bad about sending her to the chair. Even if it seemed like we were basically friends, it was all a lie. Maybe she did care for me, but she sure wasn’t the person I cared for. She acted like someone else had done her harm instead of her doing the harm herself.

I hate people playing the victim. It just makes it harder for real victims to...

“Yo, brah?”

I jolt and find myself in the gym. Good to know I didn’t wander out.

“What?”

“You’re playing, right? Even if ‘s not really teams, might ‘s well keep ‘m even, yeah?”

“Uh...” 

What are we doing now? Something with tennis balls that isn’t a team sport but vaguely is? That... What kind of inference can I make from that?

Is this what it’s like to be Kaichi? Horrifying.

“Uh, yeah, just give me a sec.”

“No prob.”

With that, I retie some laces that didn’t really need it and head to the side of the gym with fewer people lined up.

Let’s do whatever I signed up for now, I guess.

Beats thinking too much.

[BACK] [NEXT]

[my-darling-has-forgotten-me]

could i plz get a reaction for the s&m boys to a bride who is bi and keeps flirting with girls at school and the boys get hello pissed and jealous also i love you🥺 also i’m laughing bc saying s&m is perfect bc like sadist and masochist lmaooooo i just realized that lmao like the rihanna song hahah

BROOO IM SO SORRY I DIDN'T ANSWER THIS SOONER! Plus, I was laughing so much when I read your rapid lesbian ask. Love ya'♡

Sakamanky~

Shu~

"Hey, why were you flirting with a girl? What am I not good enough or something?".

"Dick and vag is the best ain't it Shu?"

"I can only agree with one of those statements... Are you bi or pan?"

*triumphantly gets giant bi flag*

"okay whatever"

Reiji~

"What do you think you were doing?! Flirting with a woman of all people?!"

"I SHALL NOT STAND FOR THIS BIPHOBIA!!!!"

"I never said anything about you being bisexual... Are you?"

"BITCH I WILL SMACK OFF YOUR STUPID ASS WHERES WALLEY ASS FKN GLASSES"

"Answer the question"

"yes sir I am..."

Ayahoe~

"HEY, WHY WERE YOU FLIRTING WITH CHICKS?!"

"Because I'm bisexual...?"

"QUIT FLIRTING WITH GIRLS, YOU'LL BECOME MORE POPULAR WITH THEM THEN I AM! DID YOU AT LEAST SAY NO HOMO?!

"I've heard you don't say no homo in the dudes dressing room... I'm not the only bi here am I ?"

"Okay, please don't say anything about it please"

Kanacuck~

"HOW COULD YOU LEAD ME AND TEDDY ON WITH... A GIRL?!"

"I like boys and girls?"

"ZA WARUDO!!!!!!!"

"N-no way... K-Kanato's a Stand User?! How?!"

"You thought Azusa was a Stand User but it was I, Kanato!"

"You dropped Teddy..."

"WWRRRYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!"

I'm not sorry for the JoJos Reference.

Laito~

"Why was Bitch Chan with a girl?~"

"because I'm bi and ready to die chief"

"Maybe we could have a three-"

"Fuck off it honestly saddens me that you think you're actually special like what the fuck is wrong with you you stupid fuckin niceguy simp thing and the fact how you think anyone cares about you or your opinion baffles me to an infinite extent please fuck off and please don't fkn assume I care about what a cuck like you has to say"

"ight I'ma head out"

Subaru~

"Why were you talking to a girl?"

"GIRLS LIKE GIRLS LIKE BOYYS DO! NOTHING NEW!!!"

"Oh so you like girls?"

"I bi brah"

"I support you"

Mukami~

Ruki~

"Livestock, what were you doing flirting with a girl today?"

"She was lookin' fine, then I saw this other dude who was damn hot. The girl was hotter tho"

*Ruki leaves*

Kou~

"MASOKITTTTYYYYY~"

"Wha?"

"Why were ya flirtin with one of my fangirls?"

"She was cute, we then went to the broom closet and-"

"W H A T ? ! "

"She was cute so we banged"

"WWHHHYYYYY?!"

"I like girls and guys, plus why do you go after Subaru?"

"He's hot"

Yuma~

"Hey Sow, I saw ya flirting with some girl? Explain"

"She was lookin' fiinneee"

"Bisexual?"

"yep!"

"I sensed your chaotic energy since we first met"

"thank you"

Azusa~

"Eve... who... was...the...girl...you...were... talking... to...?"

"A friend."

"a... friend...you...were... flirting...with? Do...you... dislike...me...Eve...?"

"YOU ARE THE SWEETEST AND MOST PRECIOUS BOI EVER I COULD NEVER DISLIKE YOU!!!!! Plus I'm bisexual if that makes sense"

"That...makes...perfect...sense... Eve... I....will...support...you...no...matter...what..."

;)

[animeartist88]

Oops, I Fluffed

HAPPY BIRTHDAY FRIENDO! :D @alainaprana

“Bro- um… A-Alaina?”

The busy artist looks up from designing a new Sans AU plush to find a blushing parasitic skeleton at her side, “What up, broski?”

He shuffles his feet, the lavender flush gracing his cheekbones making his friend slightly worried, “I uh… I-I think I’m getting… a new emotion…”

She waits patiently for him to continue, but he seems to be having trouble putting it into words. She prompts her friend gently, “Got any idea what it is?”

“N-no…” He stares at the discarded scraps of fabric on the floor, the scissors in her hand, the computer on the desk… anywhere but directly at her. But he keeps casting quick glances, like he’s afraid to be caught looking her way.

I guess getting ‘embarrassment’ a few days ago is still affecting him… She frowns, “Well, what do you feel? Describe it for me and maybe I can help.”

The parasite fidgets, tugging at the hem of his jacket like a nervous child, “I uh… M-my lingo… kinda evades me? I have t-trouble… forming sentences…”

I kinda noticed that. She decides it best not to embarrass him further by pointing out his stuttering speech. He glances at her again, as if for approval. She nods encouragingly, “Go on. What else?”

“It’s, um… kinda hard to think straight? L-like, I can’t think of anything w-without… getting sidetracked.” He shifts awkwardly and directs his gaze elsewhere again, “And, uh… Th-that ‘embarrassment’ thing keeps coming back… like, a lot…”

She hums in thought, “Gonna need more than that… What’s it feel like?”

He swallows (an entirely unnecessary function for a skeleton), “It… kinda hurts? But like… in a good way? If that m-makes sense?”

Butterflies flutter in Alaina’s stomach. ­­No way… It can’t be… She tries to hide the mixture of excitement and fear with a grin as fake as Fresh usually wears, “A good hurt? What, are you masochistic, my brah?”

“A-Alaina… you’re supposed to be helping…”

His distressed whine makes her feel guilty, “Sorry…” Better make sure before I say anything… “Is there anything else?”

He wrings his hands together, the scrape of bone on bone echoes in the quiet room, “I get this… warm, fuzzy feeling in my head, like… happiness, but not the same… kinda dizzy?”

Oh God…

“And, um…” he steals another furtive glance, making her heart jump, “it s-seems to be connected… t-to you?”

It’s her turn to swallow nervously, “Do you feel that way about anyone else?”

He shakes his head, fixated on the floor once again. She stands shakily and moves in front of him; the way he’s hunched with insecurity makes her closer than normal to his height.

“I think I might know, but… I wanna test something, okay?”

After a small hesitation, he nods. Alaina gently removes his sunglasses and sets them aside. He remains still, a strong expression of trust from him. She takes a deep breath, steeling herself against what she’s about to do and the nagging fear that she might be entirely wrong. The blushing skeleton waits patiently. Cupping one of his cheekbones, she pulls him slightly closer, stands on tiptoe, and kisses him on the teeth. He initially freezes at the contact, eyelight shrinking to a pinprick in another, less recently discovered emotion. Alaina purposefully keeps her eyes open, watching as he slowly relaxes. After a few more seconds, his eyesockets flutter shut and he returns the gentle pressure. The human woman loses herself in heady pleasure; the only thing that snaps her out of it is the feeling of his arm loosely circling her waist. She pulls back with a gasp.

“F-Fresh… I think you’re,” the last bit comes out as a squeak, “in love.”

Still dazed from the kiss, he stares blankly at her, “This… is love?”

Not trusting her voice anymore, she just nods.

“And… I’m in love,” his eyelight dilates with the realization, “w-with… you?”

Another nod.

“Oh…” He seems to take her silence as a bad sign and backs away, shoving his hands in his jacket pockets. His eye flicks back downward, “Is that… inconvenient for you?”

Her voice is squeaky again, “No!” She takes a breath, trying to steady herself, “I-it’s just… I never thought…” He looks like he’s about to give up and leave, so she blurts, “I love you too!”

His head snaps up to gape at his friend. Words have completely abandoned him.

Alaina is the fidgety one now, “I just… I never said anything because… well, I knew you didn’t - couldn’t - return the feeling… a-and… s-so…”

“Alaina?” He’s suddenly very close. It makes her jump. “That was a kiss, right?”

She stares at the bright purple gracing his face, “Y-yeah…”

“Can we… do that again?”

Instead of answering verbally, she wraps her arms around his neck and eagerly pulls him down for more.

[apex-academy]

Chapter 5: Caring Is a Hazard to Your Health (#18)

The second round begins. Or the second... whatever. I don’t pay attention to bracket terms, I just play when they tell me to play.

Not much point in switching horses mid-stream, so I stick with the blob knight vampire guy. Yuki takes the big-eyed pink thing again. And apparently the other half of us don’t care for that strategy, because Ichiriki goes for Pikachu—yes, I actually recognized that one, shut up—and Kanagi switches to some ripped martial arts guy. 

Aidan picks out another stage. I vaguely wonder if he let himself lose, since he’s the one who’s actually played this thing before. But I guess it’s harder to work the controller at a competitive speed one-handed. He doesn’t seem to be taking his loss particularly hard, so it’s not worth thinking about too much.

The countdown starts, and off we go. Yuki summarily launches herself off the edge of a cloud and into the void.

“Oh... Wrong way.”

“...”

The rest of us resume beating each other up while she’s busy regenerating or respawning or whatever it is. I don’t know what the heck move Ichiriki keeps spamming, but it’s sure doing a number on us.

“MY GUY STARTED DOING SOMETHING WEIRD what the crap.”

Kanagi keeps smashing buttons, but apparently she’s having more trouble controlling it than her last choice. I manage to knock her off the screen. And then Ichiriki takes me out immediately afterward.

“What even is this game.”

Chaos, but at least having half the players means I can freaking tell where I am without having to whip out the bat wings. Unfortunately, that does not save me from getting pummeled off the screen by some freaking background character that isn’t even one of our guys. 

There isn’t much more of a struggle before Ichiriki is the last animal-thing standing.

“And that makes Mister Tokino our first finalist! Only one spot left, and he can still take it all right now if he wins the next match!”

“This is fun!”

“Yeah, like, of course it’s fun, you’re winning.”

“But you won’t take me out next round, dude!”

“I guess we’ll have to see~! Hee hee!”

I’d ask why he’s laughing like that, but at this point I’m giving up on asking questions.

And for the last battle of this round, Kanagi switches again to some guy in a pink hoodie. Guess she had enough of karate guy.

Either way, it’s onto the next round. Everything’s going fine until the stage starts crumbling beneath us.

“Why do we have to keep changing stages?”

“You’ll have to stay on your toes if you want to win this tournament, Miss Kogamino!”

“Apparently so.”

If nothing else, we manage to gang up on Ichiriki and throw him out before he can zap us all to death. Kanagi then proceeds to knock out Yuki’s guy, which was apparently some kind of accident.

“Oh my gosh?”

“I LOVE THIS DUDE!”

“That’s nice.”

Down to the two of us now, and it stays pretty close—until Kanagi misses a punch and it somehow launches her off the stage completely. She just stares at the screen as her character goes up in flames, or whatever that’s supposed to be.

“What the...”

“THIS DUDE SUCKS!”

“........”

She throws her controller to the floor as Aidan announces me as finalist and declares another intermission.

“You!”

“Me?”

“Don’t think this is over!”

She whips around, nearly smacking me with her hair tie.

“And you too!”

“.......”

“I WILL DESTROY BOTH OF YOU!”

“At what, exactly?”

Kanagi looks around the room before swinging her arm around to point at one of the machines.

“THAT!”

I squint long enough to make out “Centipede” written across the top of it.

“Is that even a game you’ve played before?”

“I’LL STILL CRUSH YOU!!”

“Okay.”

“Hummmmm, Kanagi...”

“I can still make you some dorayaki tomorrow...”

“It’s not the same.”

“Chill out, brah.” Kaichi claps a hand on her shoulder. “Need t’ drown your sorrows in some grinds?”

“I don’t even know what that means!”

“Food?”

“Oh.”

“Yeah, sure, sounds legit.”

And off they go to the popcorn table. I’m out of disbelieving commentary for the day, so I’m just gonna get another drink. By the time I fetch that, conversations have broken out again. Pretty sure I’m gonna get recruited into one eventually, so I at least avoid the group with Tsunyasha and Kanagi.

“But you’re not having any trouble...?”

“Everything’s perfectly under control. There’s nothing to worry about.”

“.......”

“What are we worrying about?”

Aidan wheels back a bit to give me space.

“Oh, Miss Kurokame was just checking in on me.”

“Hummmmm...”

“It’s at least harder to wash your hair, isn’t it...?”

“What do you mean?”

“One-handed and all...”

“And, hummm...”

“You can kind of tell just by looking... Sorry.”

“Oh?”

Well, hard to say much of anything in this light, but I guess it’s on the greasier side, sure. Not smelling too great over here, either, but considering we have eight fairly active people and four weird flavors of popcorn crammed into this room, I’d be wary of pinning that on anyone in particular.

“I mean, you are still showering and everything, right?”

“I assure you that’s the last thing I have any interest in skipping out on.”

Can’t counter that.

“You could’ve just said yes.”

“He doesn’t tend to ‘just’ say anything...”

“Yes, yes, the point has been made.”

He opens his mouth to continue, but I interrupt.

“But there’s no bench in there, right? And the baths are pretty deep. Can you stand long enough to get in either?”

“Um. I can’t stand at the moment, no, but...”

“I don’t think the wheelchair would fit in there, either, right...?”

Aidan sucks in a sharp breath.

“Fine, okay, I’ve been mostly subsisting off hand sanitizer and deodorant for the time being and it’s not entirely effective, but!”

“I’ve already rigged up some systems to help, I’m just making sure they’re absolutely safe before I try them!”

“It’s slow going with few tools available and the situation as it is, but progress is progress, and it’s nothing to be that concerned about, all right?”

“...”

“...So you haven’t bathed at all since you came back.”

“No and I’m dying on the inside a little bit but it’s FINE.”

He takes a deep breath.

“As previously stated, the solution is forthcoming, and if all we’re going to do this break is fuss about it, I might as well start the tournament finals already.”

“There’s a public bath now, though, right...?”

“Would that work?”

He’s getting all fidgety now. Can’t stand or stand still, apparently.

He sighs. “The layout would be easier, yes, but a structure that size is going to be far more of a drowning hazard when I can’t really guarantee I would stay conscious.”

“And that’s the reason for changing the lock, right? Have you seriously been passing out that much?”

“No!!! I just like to be prepared!”

So you prioritized that over showering when you don’t even like to handle papers other people have touched. Right.

“Hummmm... It’s a public bath, though, right...? So you could have someone else help...”

“Who, exactly? I’m not sure Mister Attenborough is in condition to handle the heat of that room for long, I’m afraid I don’t tr... care for Mister Tokino’s company all that much, and the circumstances may not be terribly safe for Mister Riseiin, either.”

I guess a girl wouldn’t be a valid solution? Well, I’m not volunteering.

“Hey, ‘m I being trash-talked o’er here?”

Right, we’re not exactly alone. I shuffle to the side so Kaichi can fit in the little circle we’ve got going.

“Oh, no...! Just... talking?”

I peer at Kaichi for a second.

“He does literally carry a flotation device with him everywhere he goes. The bath’s not that big.”

“Yes, but...”

“Oh...! And he’s technically a medical professional...!”

“I would like to argue that being a professional involves more than knowledge and talent.”

“That’s fair.”

“ ’m trying t’ use my context clues, but you’re not making ‘t easy, brahs.”

“It’s noth—”

“We were wondering if you could... look after Aidan in the bathhouse so he won’t get hurt if he falls asleep in there...”

Aidan’s mouth twists like he was this close to yelling “MOM” just now.

“I mean, ‘s chill with me.”

He waves his notebook.

“And if ‘s anything embarrassing, I won’t remember it ‘n five minutes, anyway.”

“.......”

“Well there’s no time to head there tonight regardless, so there’s no need for us to discuss this right now!!”

“I’ll consider it, okay?”

“But we’re here tonight to have a good time, not to worry about every little thing, so if you would please! Let! The topic! Rest!!”

Before anyone can interrupt him again, he raises his voice, cupping his hand toward the rest of the room.

“Who’s ready for the final match of the tournament?!”

Apparently Kanagi’s feeling good enough to whoop along with Ichiriki.

“I’m half of the final match, do I get a say?”

Regardless, it looks like it’s go time. I’ve had enough of whatever that was, anyway. Seems like we got somewhere? Still, I can’t decide if I should be concerned or not, and it leaves me vaguely distracted for the match. Which is only compounded by the fact Ichiriki chose yet another character, who goes flying around on motorcycles and...

“Did I just get eaten?”

I don’t even know anymore. I end up losing, but I can’t say I’m disappointed. This whole night has been so surreal I’m not sure I’m capable of feeling that.

Fun? Maybe. Hard to say when the whole world feels muted, like everything is behind some thick pane of glass. But it’s still there, I guess. I’m still close enough to know what’s going on.

It could be worse.

[BACK] [NEXT]

[apex-academy]

Chapter 5: Caring Is a Hazard to Your Health (#16)

Thankfully I run into a couple people by suppertime, so I get a better idea of what the heck is going on. 8:00 in the arcade. All right. Still don’t know what the heck we’re playing, but my video game experience is limited, anyway. Most of my free time goes to another game.

Still, I can’t find a good enough excuse to turn down the invitation, so I might as well go for it. At least make sure nobody makes trouble.

Because that worked out so well at the concert.

“...”

Can I please stop doing that. Today is today. Yesterday is yesterday. So on and so forth. Just focus on today.

I make my way to the arcade. I’m a little late, but it doesn’t look like they’ve started. Everyone showed up, too, looks like. More than I can say for some of our events. This time we can all easily fit in one room, though.

Today.

The overhead lights are off. I shut the door behind me, but it doesn’t disguise my entry.

“Miss Kogamino!! I’m glad you made it!”

“Yup.”

“It seems most of us haven’t played the game before, so we’ll all have a little time in practice mode to get used to the controls before we start a match!”

“I didn’t get to ask this morning, but do you play?”

I look to the screen where Mahavir is attempting to steer some blue-suited guy around. It doesn’t look familiar.

“No.”

“All right! We’ll make sure you get a little time, then.”

I’m summarily dragged—well, I don’t actually move enough to call it that, but someone sure does take my arm—away by another force.

“Oh, oh, Kakumi!”

Why are all these cheerful people here.

“What?”

Ichiriki bounces in front of the air hockey table. Or, I think that’s what it is. It’s been covered with some kind of board and a tablecloth, and bowls of something I can’t see well in the dark dot its surface.

“We have snacks while you’re waiting! They’re super good, I promise!”

“You made them?”

“Oh, no...”

“It was me... I’m glad he's excited about them, though...”

“Right...”

Everyone else has already found conversation partners, so I stick with the table. My eyes are slowly getting accustomed to the distant, multicolored lighting of video game screens, but everything keeps shifting enough it’s still hard to get a good view. All of these kind of look like popcorn, though?

“They’re all different flavors!”

“Gack!”

Thankfully I haven’t grabbed a paper plate yet, because I would have dropped it.

“Oh, sorry! Are you okay?”

“I’m fine. Please don’t jump directly in front of people?”

“Okey-dokey artichokey!”

“..............” I really don’t know why I’m here right now.

Apparently that whole ordeal gave Yuki time to catch up.

“Two are savory, and two are sweet... I can tell you what all of them are...” 

“...or you can be surprised if you think that’s fun. Hummmmm...”

“Uh, I’ll be surprised, I guess?”

“Okay...”

Not sure I think it’s fun, but I don’t care enough to make conscious choices here, so. I find the paper plates—bowls, actually, all the better—and throw a couple handfuls of whatever in. Very sanitary.

...I get the distinct feeling Aidan got first dibs on these and has no intention of getting anywhere near this table again. 

I find myself an empty folding chair and park it. My first shot at the popcorn gets me... I’m not sure what flavor it is, but it’s definitely salty. Didn’t think to grab a drink. Guess I’ll do that at some point.

Somehow, in the dark, a shadow falls across me.

“I see the dark one has arrived.”

...That’s me. Right. Why can't anyone in this place just use my name?

“And you’re here, too. Congratulations.”

“Y’ ready t’ get wrecked, brah?”

“...”

“C’mon, y’ can’t come t’ a competition ‘nd not trash talk.”

“Tsunyasha doesn’t even play video games, though, so it doesn’t seem fair to rag on her.”

“Oh, rest assured, my skills are lacking in nothing, whelp.”

“See? That’s more like ‘t.”

“I'm not even familiar with the game we’re playing.”

“Actual skill shouldn’t have anything t’ do with ‘t.”

“...”

“Oh, hey. I keep meaning to ask, is it really okay for Kanagi to be walking around with her ankle hurt?”

“ ‘m not the boss ‘f her.”

“Do you know who Kanagi is?”

“ ‘m bad with names.”

“Notebook’s in your surfboard.”

“Awesome.”

He stoops to go figure that out, again. Tsunyasha looks over him and scoffs.

“What a strange little farce he maintains.”

“Do you think he’s faking it, or are you just calling it amusing?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know?”

“Yes? That’s why I asked.”

Kaichi un-retreats, notebook in hand, before she can say anything else. As if she was ever going to clarify, anyway.

“Y’ said Kanagi?”

“Yeah.”

“ ‘s high enough t’ be safe t’ walk on, yeah. Should still rest it more ‘n usual, though.”

“Has she been resting?”

“Uh...”

Not sure he has notes on that. Thankfully it’s easy enough to find Kanagi herself. She’s crouched by the skee-ball section, which appears to be where they put the drinks. 

Would it have killed them to bring in an actual table?

...Poor wording. Anyway.

“Hey, Kanagi.”

“ ‘Sup.”

Aside from her ankle being wrapped up, I don’t notice anything particularly different about how she’s standing, at least.

“Have you been resting your ankle enough?”

“Dude, it’s fine. I’ve totally walked on worse.”

“...Is this why your other ankle is messed up?”

“...”

“Like, I’ll be sitting for the games, anyway, so. That’s rest, right?”

“Technically?”

“Y’ should ‘t least keep it up on a chair ‘r something, yeah?”

“C’mon, dude. I haven’t seen you doing that for yours.”

He shrugs.

“I constantly forget ‘s anything wrong with ‘t, so.”

“ ‘s not like I’ve been doing laps every morning.” 

“I think.”

“Yeah, that might give you a pass.”

Before anybody else can give each other grief, Mahavir steps up next to me and clears his throat.

“What?”

“I believe Doppler said it was your turn to practice the game controls.”

“Ah, right.” Guess I’d better get to that.

Might as well grab a drink while I’m here. Can’t say I trust these people not to spill everything before I can come back.

[BACK] [NEXT]

[apex-academy]

Chapter 3 Trial: Consequences (#24)

“It just doesn’t work either way.”

“If the setup was yesterday, too many people would have the chance to notice something out of place.”

“But if it was in the few moments after intermission, there wouldn’t have been enough time to set all of this up.”

“Ya mean... we’re on the wrong track?”

“No. There aren't a lot of ways to make all this weird stuff fit a theory. I think we're making a good amount of sense at this point.”

“Even though it remains an impossibility? Perhaps you once again intend to point the finger at the one of us not bound to the concepts of space and time?”

“Now's not the time for that crap."

“What I’m trying to say...”

“...is that it makes the most sense for part of the preparations to have been made early, and part of them at the last minute.”

“Oh... Yeah.”

“Like, the note must have been made in advance...”

“But, um, that’s not really part of the mechanism. I’m getting off-topic. Sorry.”

“No, it's still part of the plan, even if it wasn't in the coffee shop.”

“So everything that could have gone unnoticed was put into place yesterday, and the final touches were added just after intermission?”

“Right.”

“What was all the weird stuff, then? The string, and then, like... Prolly the metal stuff, too?”

“How 'bout the fertilizer bomb?”

“If it was just to make us think the killer was there to throw it, it didn't need to be any kind of real bomb. Probably wasn’t hard to prepare.”

“It did stick out, though, so it would have been something added at the last minute.”

“And of course, the pequeña catapulta couldn’t have been pre-arranged. Else the cabinet door would have fallen open before the killer could set up the string.”

“What could they have even set up in advance, then? Just the coffee pot?”

“The cymbal and everything else in the cabinet could have been placed in advance. They just had to be rearranged later.”

"I don't look in those cabinets a lot... so I wouldn't have noticed anything inside them, hummmm..."

“That’s still an awful lotta stuff to do beforehand.”

“Anybody notice someone hangin’ around the coffee shop a lot?”

“I didn’t spend much time there.”

“I’m afraid I didn’t afford it that much attention.”

“Don’t think so? 'm not much ‘f an eyewitness, though.”

“All right.”

“Well, the killer did have to show up after intermission, so, uh. There's still that.”

“Then it’s an issue of alibis once again, hmm?”

“So the people that could have had the coffee shop to themselves for a moment...”

“Me and Otoya...?”

“And then maybe, like, Tsuntsun or Tams, right?”

“I was eatin’, though. Even if I had the place to myself, I wouldn't'a had time to arrange anything. I sure couldn't'a run to Mary Jane’s room and back.”

“Hmm... But even if it was placed at the last minute, the fertilizer could have been stored in the coffee shop ahead of time.”

“Wouldn’t that reek, brah? Be hard not t' notice ‘n a coffee place. Stuff’d taste junk 'f the place literally smelled like crap.”

"The fertilizer did smell pretty strong. I think."

“Es verdad.”

“...All right, just to have it settled.”

“Tamiko. Is there any way to prove you were eating the whole time you were in the coffee shop?”

“Would she have even had time if she wasn’t eating?”

“Good point. I spent most a' intermission gettin' my guitar ready for the second half, so I wasn't in there long.”

Right, the broken string.

"I mean, I can totally confirm she wasn't in there 'til she kicked everybody out at the last minute."

"Still, how much time would it have taken for the last touches?"

"Anybody wanna try 'n' speedrun it?"

"We can't leave this room, so good luck with that."

“But we do agree that the final pieces of the trap must have been set after intermission, right?”

“Yes.”

“Makes sense to me.”

“So even if we don't cross off Tamiko just yet, we still have a pretty small pool of suspects left.”

“Tsunyasha, Otoya, and Yuki... and maybe Tamiko?”

Ichiriki nods at me.

“And you, dear.”

“Excuse me?”

“You and Tamiko both have alibis you can’t quite prove, yes? It’s only fair.”

“No. Even in the back of the room, Kogamino couldn’t have left without drawing attention.”

“And if she left, the rest of us wouldn’t have alibis, either! Anyone could have slipped out for a moment in the middle of a song!”

“Are you quite sure?”

“I did have my eyes on everyone back there.”

“That’s not comforting.”

“It’s probably safe to assume it ain’t Kakumi, y’all. I wouldn’t’a put her on security if I didn’t trust her.”

“Okay...”

“All right, cool.”

“Then ‘s just Tsunyasha, Otoya, Yuki ‘n Tamiko.”

So we're down to four possibilities now. How do we try to narrow it down from here?

[NEXT]

[apex-academy]

Chapter 3 Trial: Consequences (#8)

“I can’t say for sure he was meeting with Itsurou...”

“...but there was a note in Arthur's backpack asking to meet up in the coffee shop. It said to go there right around the time he must have left the backstage area.”

“Yea? That all it says?”

"Just about. Here."

I dig the note out of my pocket to pass around. There's that huge gap on the other side of the circle to worry about, but I'm sure they can handle that. I toss it to Yuki first. She doesn’t come close to catching it, but she does pick it up after a few seconds. It starts making the rounds after that.

“Can you meet me in the coffee shop at 8:05? Signed, K.”

“Signed?”

“Yeah, it’s handwritten.”

“..........”

“Cool, fine, don't worry about telling the guy whose literal entire thing is handwriting. Not like I could've looked at it earlier or anything.”

“...............Oh. Right.”

Somehow I keep forgetting his talent is calligraphy. Wonder why.

“Can you check it out once it makes the rounds?”

So far, the paper's only gotten to Tamiko.

“It's just signed with one letter? That’s a li’l strange.”

“Course, if this is how the killer lured him to his death, I reckon they wouldn’t wanna put their whole name.”

Her eyes scan the circle.

“Pretty sure it wasn’t me.”

“Aren’t, like, literally half of us K names?”

“Yeah.”

“And Itsurou Kishaba... Je vois.”

"Kishaba wrote this? It seems a bit...”

“...feminine?”

“It doesn’t look like the handwriting in his notebook. But I guess if he was going to set a trap, he wouldn’t do it with his own handwriting.”

“Or it could have been someone else.”

“Yeah. Though I don’t know what Itsurou was doing in the coffee shop.”

“Uh, tell me 'f I missed something, brah, but...”

“We’re trying t' figure out why a writer was 'n a coffee shop?”

“Point taken.” I guess it would be a nice place to work on stories.

“Like, we can worry about that if we gotta. For now we should prolly focus on the note thing.”

“So, then! All of the K’s... Kaichi, Kurokame, Kakumi, Kanagi—as well as Kishaba.”

“And a few others, pero no creo que sean relevantes...”

“Is he using languages with accents? This is going to be a pain to type out later.”

“Anyway.”

The note has finally made its way to Otoya, but I'm sure he needs time to examine it before we pester him.

“All the rest of us have alibis, right? ‘Cept Eats and Yuks.”

“Right. We were all at the concert.”

Tsunyasha inclines her head towards me.

“You were alone at the back of the auditorium, were you not? Perhaps you could have slipped out for just long enough?”

“Really?”

Mahavir shakes his head, though it seems to make him a little dizzy.

“I would have noticed a sudden light coming in from the hallway.”

“That's right. You noticed when I left, didn't you? After we’d already started to hear the fire through the wall.”

"Yes."

“So it's not as solid as it could be, but I do have an alibi.”

“Meanwhile, Yuki’s confessed t’ goin’ in the coffee shop 'bout the right time.”

“Hummmmm...? I guess?”

“And I really don’t think the murder mystery master is going to get himself killed like that.”

“Unless he didn’t care? He could have wanted to make an unsolvable case...”

“I don’t know... Sorry.”

“I totally don’t think he was that chill with dying. Like, given the choice.”

Opinions seem pretty split. I wonder what would be the best way to debate this? We don’t have much evidence on either one of them.

“...”

“Otoya?”

“...”

He lowers the note.

“It looks like Yuki’s handwriting.”

“What?!”

“Yuki’s...”

“...Huh?”

[NEXT]

[apex-academy]

Chapter 1 Trial: What Are the Odds (#19)

“There’s still a period of time we haven’t talked about much.”

“Before game night began?”

“But he had no chance to ingest poison during that time, yes?”

“How quickly you mortals forget.”

“Right. And if he was walking normally when the game started, there’s nothing left to discuss.”

“But there is still something to discuss about his water run.”

“Like, when he left to refill his water bottle?”

“Oh, I was there for that!!”

“You an’... Aki, right?”

“Are you both sure you never left Kazusuke’s side?”

“I mean, he was pretty much talking to me the whole time, so I think I’m sure, yeah!”

“Even I would have remembered if he’d run off...”

“And did anyone else visit the water fountain at the time? No one else left my room, of course!”

“That just leaves Room 104. But the girls' only trip was to the bathroom, and someone would have spoken up by now if Itsurou, Arthur, or Ichiriki left then.”

“Right?”

“Yeah, we were just sittin’ around talkin’ about some of the lore or whatever. Nobody left the room.”

“Yeah...”

“Ichiriki, Miss Tamiko, and I left the room some time later, of course, but by then 'twas clearly too late.”

“Right. His f-foot had been broken long before 10:30...”

“...Mary Jane.”

“Mmm-hmm?”

“You said you and Kazusuke... were messing around at the fountain, right?”

“Uh-huh! He’s a goober!”

“...Was a goober.”

“Oh? And what, pray tell, does this ‘messing around’ entail?”

“Remember that the Holy Assassin is fit to judge your actions.”

“That’s probably not the best way to get the truth outta somebody, mate.”

But Mary Jane doesn’t seem all that perturbed. Just sleepy.

“Uhhhhh...”

“We tried to arm wrestle, ‘cept it didn’t really work without a table, I guess? And then we were just kinda messing around.”

“How incredibly unspecific.”

“Mary Jane... Tell me if I’m wrong, but...”

Huh? Oh, that? Um… We were talking about, uh, something, and I think it led into something about trying to arm wrestle each other? ‘Cept it was really hard to do, like, on top of the water fountain? So we just kinda pushed each other around a little bit.

He didn’t fall down once! It was really impressive!

Yeah?

I mean I stomped on his foot the one time, so I don’t think he could’ve fallen even if he really wanted to then, but…!

“...didn’t you say you stomped on his foot?”

“Huh? Yeah, I think so!”

“.....!”

“......”

“.......”

“What? It was just to keep him from falling over!”

“I wasn’t trying to hurt him or anything! Don’t worry!”

“...”

“Miss Shitanaga. Can you confirm that this took place?”

“Um...”

“Yeah. I mean, I think so.”

“Sounded real confident.”

“Sorry...”

That’s about as confident-sounding as she gets, Kaichi.

“So... then...”

“Tamiko. You said he may not have said anything about his foot because he was embarrassed, right?”

“Yea.”

“Reckon a fella like him’d be pretty darn embarrassed to get his foot broken by a girl.”

“That seems consistent with his character, I’d say.”

“Is this... really...”

“Wait... Wait! Do you think I broke his foot?!”

“Not many people had the chance. It wasn’t anyone at our table.” 

“And you admit you stomped on his foot. You’re pretty strong, aren’t you?”

“I definitely woulda won that arm-wrestling match if we actually had it!”

“Not sure ‘s the time t’ be bragging, brah.”

“Is that it? It was Ma-r-r-ry Jane?”

“Huh? No way! I wouldn’t kill anybody, silly!”

I... don’t think she understands that she could have done it without meaning to. But is she really responsible for this?

There’s no concrete proof. We don’t even know if Kazusuke’s foot was really broken. I want her to be innocent, but can we prove it either way?

My thoughts are interrupted by a loud cry.

“Mister Monochaperone!!!”

“Eek...! Wh-what did I do...?!”

“You told us this was a murder case when, in reality, you couldn’t even make a decent argument for criminally negligent manslaughter!!”

“It’s completely unreasonable to assert that Miss Taima had any sort of killing intent, and a great many factors were necessary for this to become fatal besides! The original stomp! The fit that may have allowed the embolism to escape the wounded area! Mister Shintsuu refusing to admit he needed medical attention! Mister Shintsuu leaving the room by himself of his own accord! The precise placement of the table upon which he just so happened to fall!”

“Surely you understand that with all of the parties that had to be involved, it’s completely and utterly nonsensical to hold any one person responsible!!! This was nothing but a freak accident!!”

“That’s true...”

“Wh-what?! B-but there is a killer...!”

“Wh-what do you even mean, m-make a case? I’m not a lawyer...!”

“...W-wait, do lawyers make good waifus?”

“Depends on the video game, I guess...”

“Screw your waifu shit, there is no killer! I refuse to vote for an innocent person!”

“U-um, u-u-u-um....”

“...How do you know you’re all innocent? Th-that no one had lethal intent?”

“What the hell do you mean, how do we know?! Do you really think Mary Jane is some criminal mastermind who predicted exactly how this incredibly unlikely chain of events would have wound up? Or that Kanagi somehow intentionally rolled 20s so Kazusuke would hurt himself? Or that Mahavir knew someone was going to fall headfirst on that table if he placed it just so?”

“Or that Aidan arranged the game night tables and the three-person rule so someone had the chance to assault Kazusuke when he needed more water? Or that Itsurou decided to set up in Room 104 so the table in 103 would still be an obstacle to anyone who happened to fall on it and die?”

“How could anyone have predicted any of this?! WHAT KIND OF GODDAMNED CONSPIRACY DO YOU THINK THIS IS?!”

“It sure ain’t murder if nobody wanted to kill anyone!”

“And we can’t say there’s a killer when it took, like, half the class to set it up!”

“W-wait, wait...!”

“Th-there is too a killer...!”

“Even if they end up with a lot of help—”

“—and I’m not saying that has to be the case here! A waifu wouldn’t spoil things like that...!—

“—it’s their fault the victim is dead! And that’s who you have to determine to win the class trial!”

“But how are we sup-p-p-posed to know who that is?!”

“A true waifu would tell us himself.”

“H-h-hey! You can’t...!”

“It’s my job to make sure the trial goes the way it should! And his job is a waifu’s number-one responsibility...!”

“Well, I can’t say I didn’t try.”

“B-b-but how can you say the trial is going the way it should when we have no way to determine the killer...?!”

“But there is a way to determine the killer!”

“Okay! What is it?”

“I-I can’t just tell you! You can figure it out for yourselves!”

“You’ve made it this far, after all...!”

We can figure out who Monochap thinks the murderer is? How are we supposed to do that?

And since there is no murderer no matter what he says, should we even try to figure it out...?

[NEXT]