#BOY I HAVE BEEN INTO U FOR A YEAR MY TOP SONG ON MY SPOTIFY WRAPPED 2023 WAS BECAUSE OF U

[gaybox]

he asked me tonight if i wanted to get dinner sometime with him

HES BI

[vladdyissues]

HellO, I’m bothering u again.

Ok so, one thing I rlly love about Familiar is the songs u include. Partly bc I just love headcanoning characters with certain music tastes, but alSO bc they go so well with their personality traits. Danny being a Green Day kind of boy is sooo appropriate, there’s no fucking way he would enjoy straight modern pop. And VLAD, GOD, u are so genius for making him an 80s pop/goth individual. It’s something I’d never considered about him, before reading ur fic. Of course he would listen to the Smiths, he fucking grew up with them. He was a GOTH in COLLEGE!!!

That said, I’ve been slowly constructing a playlist of all the songs from Familiar, plus some of my own personal choices 🤌 One song I can’t get over is Peach by The Front Bottoms, (ik its a terrible band name 😂) but there’s this section of lyrics that I just hdhdhdhdhjfjshdh:

“One day, you will find someone who will love you like you deserve

But tonight, I'm the only one left, And I'm bettin' it's a fact that you will never learn

Once I sink my teeth, your skin's not so tough

I'll leave a tiny cut, there'll be a lot of blood, But once you wipe it up, you will feel better about our entire situation.”

FUCKING KILLS ME. THATS THEM!! THATS FUCKINF THEM UR HONOR, U CANT TELL ME OTHERWISE!!!

They make me feral. I feel like Vlad, for all he says that he and Danny deserve each other, is still insecure about it. He doesn’t truly believe it, deep down in his soul, bc how could Danny ever love someone as fucked up, and old, and passive aggressive as Vlad?? But he is the only one left in Danny’s life, and Danny needs to understand that.

AND THE BLOOD DRINKING IMPLICATION IN THE LYRICS, FUCKING FUCK THAT VAMPIRE MAN.

Ok cool I’m done, that’s all I needed to say, byyyyeee~

YOU CAN'T BOTHER SOMEONE WHO CRAVES ATTENTION 25/8, BONES I mean uh—pshaw, you're no bother.

LOL I tend to project my music tastes onto my blorbos (I'm sure all of us do), and Danny is no exception. But I also try to be realistic for the character or the time. An all-American high school boy in the early aughts? Steady diet of rock, alt rock, pop punk, post-grunge, hip hop and nu metal. Vlad I actually had to do research on, which is why my top artist for Spotify Wrapped this year was Depeche Mode 😆 In any case, I'm just happy you're enjoying the music selections!

You're right, The Front Bottoms is an absolutely terrible name for a band, but those lyrics 😮 holy shit. I have an all-purpose Pompep playlist myself, and this track is the newest addition. Thank you!

[havocmadden]

"if i'm having fun it's good and if i'm not having fun it's bad" you're so so so real for this!! anyway sorry i disappeared for like a week so i'm going to ask more questions to make up for it: 1) i know i'm late to the spotify wrapped party but who were your favorite artists this year? are there any songs in particular that stood out to you? this can be either for disney artists or not it's up to you 2) how are you feeling about rise of red coming out next year? i know the plot looks too crazy even for descendants standards, and it helps that it's a brand new creative team, but is there anything specific you're hoping to see from the expanded world? 3) i need to hear your thoughts on zombies 4 because i know there's no way addison will have yet another identity crisis - gcwca secret santa

hi !!!! i hope u had a good week when you disappeared and not like, a terrible one!

to answer your questions, my fave artists were mostly non disney channel :( i think the only disney channel who made it into my top 100 was some sabrina songs :( but! my top five were:

noah kahan (so real)

fall out boy (they counted november this year which i know bc they would NOT have been in my top 5 otherwise. they were my nano soundtrack. tho tbh i think this nano project made me an actual for real fall out boy fan)

taylor swift

dessa

xana

if we could add some i feel like chappell roan should've been in my top five but alas :( also i saw two out of my top five in concert this year :) if we count tickets i bought for next year's concerts i am seeing 4/5 of my top five!! (i also saw chappell roan and she was SOOOOOO good in person). this year turned me into a genuine Concert Girlie (gender neutral) so that's been fun. or it would be, if i didn't have to drive 2 1/2 hours at best to get to one bc i live in the middle of fucking nowhere and no one comes here :(

as for the rise of red: honestly, i'm pretty excited! i'm not allowing myself to feel Bad about it until we get more information. plus, it's giving me the thing i always wanted out of the descendants franchise (qoh kid) so honestly this like, really works for me. like maybe when i watch it later it will be bad? and i'll be upset and disappointed? but. in the meantime, i'm having a great time! still living on the qoh kid high! like, the plot seems wild but personally i'm like. "descendants as a franchise never made sense and i'm getting what i personally wanted out of this franchise from it so i'm having a good time until proven otherwise"

i think a lot of people have strong feelings about it bc of cam, which is totally valid and is their right, but my personal feelings are since the core four aren't coming back, i'm okay with it. disney was never going to let their biggest franchise since hsm lie, yknow? i think this is the best it could've been in that sense of it? idk.

as for zombies 4. truly i have NO idea. honestly the most fun i have ever had with the zombies franchise was watching all three of them with two of my friends whilst we were all stoned, and personally i hope rupaul comes back because i thought it was funny. i'm so sorry if you're a zombies stan but they are not high art to me. they are fun little movies to watch while i get high and then i do not think about them until i want to show someone a silly little dcom franchise and jumpscare them with the presence of rupaul. personally i hope zombies 4 introduces addison's cousin from the human side of the family named allison who is now the one who gets to have identity criseses who is also played by meg donnelly. i hope coach has a new job. i hope his legal name is coach. i hope ej caswell finally gets to leave this discord. i hope they make a reference to the winchesters.

[aberfaeth]

top five fics (ever. for a fandom/pairing. by people you know. by strangers. whatever u want go crazy) ORRRR top five fob songs bc I know u and ilu and I wanna hear ur thoughts

hi sav. hope you know what you've unleashed here.

TOP FIVE FICS.....EVER

tell me about the big bang (star wars sequel trilogy, Finn/Poe, 37.8k.) i made my mom read this fic and that's not a bit i literally had her read this. and she isn't even a star wars fan. like she's seen tfa but she wasn't even that into it i just made her read this because it's one of humanity's greatest literary achievements and she still brings it up to me in conversation that's how much she enjoyed it. sorry this turned into more of tmatbb being one of my mom's top five fics but yknow. context. anyways i don't want to say too much about it because i don't want to spoil it for anyone who might check it out which Please Do That but suffice to say. it is a work of fucking art and i can only hope to someday write with half the talent nina varela possesses in her pinky finger

darling i'd wait for you, even if you didn't ask me to (the great pretender season 1, Laurent/Makoto, 11k.) swear to god this isn't me sucking up it is still the best gift i have ever received in my life. hey you reading this have you ever conceptualized a fic and went "boy i wish i could feed this into a machine and it would execute the idea perfectly in a way that managed to surprise and delight me as i read it" well you simply must get yourself a sav. because she will do that for you. anyways watch tgp season one literally just to read this fic.

Be Gay; Solve Crime (american vandal, Peter/Sam, 9.2k.) this fic has everything--outsider POV! perfectly in character banter! angie and michael who are real and canon to me! mr fernandez did you eat shit! gay lou carter! do your string thing man! MING, EVEN!!!!!! consider this a rotating spot for the work of my lovely lovely friends in the hanover high AV club, who have churned out some of the bangers of all fucking time which i talked about some of those in a top five ask four calendar years ago

Over & Through (dimension 20 fantasy high, gen, 62.7k.) also made my mom read this. she got the riz chapter first and said it gave her horrifying acid trip dreams. which is honestly so fair. if you are a dimension 20 fan and you haven't read this fic what are you doing. the form is inventive the prose is stunning the characterization is painfully sharp. if you've been watching neverafter going hey i wish this was actually horror READ THIS RIGHT NOW THE HORROR IS IMMACULATE

If You Could Let Me Inside Your Heart (leverage, ot3, 2.5k.) remains my favorite leverage fic of all time and also my favorite group character study. what a lovely premise and executed with such grace and perfect understanding of character and pacing like so much work is done for its length and GOD IS IT ALL GORGEOUS

okay haha onto the fall out boy--JUST KIDDING. I HOPE YOU HAD YOUR WEAPON READY TO TAKE ME OUT BECAUSE ONE TIME I SAID IF I EVER MADE A RECLIST WITHOUT I HATE TO LOOK INTO THOSE EYES AND SEE AN OUNCE OF PAIN YOU WOULD HAVE TO SHOOT ME BECAUSE I'D BE A POD PERSON. SO HERE'S ME DOING THAT, PLEASE READ IT, READ IT NOW. WHAT FANDOM OR PAIRING OR LENGTH? YOU GET TO FIND OUT WHEN YOU CLICK! THAT! LINK!

okay haha onto the fall out boy. so i earnestly did try to come up with my top five fob songs on my own. then i had a breakdown and filled out the whole damn fob song sorter yes all 500 battles. heres my top 25. note the repetition of numbers indicating my inability to make decisions

elaborations on the medal winners:

THE KIDS AREN'T ALRIGHT: when this song came out i was thirteen years old (in middle school) (did not have my own itunes account) (did not have spotify) and as all songs do it was released at midnight (i was thirteen) (supposed to be asleep) (it was a school night) i hid under the covers with my ipod touch on the lowest brightness setting (supposed to be asleep on a school night) midnight arrived and i could not buy the song on itunes because then my parents would get an email about the purchase and know i had stayed up (i was supposed to be asleep) so i just listened to the 30 second preview on itunes for like an hour straight (i cried) (a lot)

THE (SHIPPED) GOLD STANDARD: me for real bc im literally no good at math

(COFFEE'S FOR CLOSERS): also in middle school i used to doodle song lyrics to keep myself focused during class and my history professor was taking a walk around the classroom and spotted my doodle of a little coffee cup with the lyrics "i will never believe in anything again" and went "aw why not," clearly concerned for my mental health and wellbeing. and despite that horribly traumatizing experience, coffee's for closers remains one of my favorite songs in the world. so thats proof that its really very good

OF ALL THE GIN JOINTS IN THE WORLD: you only hold me up like thiiiiis cause you don't know who i really aAAaaAAAaam

PAVLOVE: sorry its the quirky girl tendencies again. when will they put this on spotify so i can scream my little heart out to I WANT TO MAKE YOU AS LONELY AS MEEEE SO YOU CAN GET GET ADDICTED TO THIS YOU CAN GET GET ADDICTED TO THIS! anyways folie >

now, a disclaimer: this sorter is obviously older than two weeks and thus does not include the songs off SMFS. i feel like recency bias means i can't accurately fit them into the list but i will say that there is no universe in which hold me like a grudge doesn't make top fifteen

if you've reached the end of this post, thanks for going on this journey with me. i meant to be asleep an hour ago. but i did this instead. was it worth it. well whos to say. if you ended up reading IHTLITEASAOOP then yes it was.

[pondphuwin]

music tag

i was tagged by @chinzhillababy @jyuubin and @sparklyeyedhimbo , thank you lovelies!

Rules: 🎶✨when u get this u have to put 5 songs u actually listen to, publish. then, send this ask/tag 10 of your favorite followers (non-negotiable, positivity is cool) 🎶

all from my 'on repeat' playlist on spotify:

yes i am in mourning over munik officially leaving dkz TT__TT also yes this was one of my top played songs of 2022 and i am just continuing the pattern. this song literally does not get old and is an instant mood booster for me.

do you ever simultaneously become a seunghwan enjoyer and a yechan enjoyer and then remember that 2 of your other favs (wei junseo and justb doyum) were also in this group so now you're streaming disbanded nugu music from 3 years ago. and they made good music!

bobby is forever my ikon bias and i loveeee his solo music so much. lucky man was one of my favorite albums ever and these new songs are also bangers. i'm just happy to keep getting music from him and to see him having fun on stage again.

i, like all the other swifties out here, have been listening to taylor a bunch since the eras tour started. i'm a bit sad i wasn't able to get tickets but i'm still enjoying seeing all her outfits for this tour and relistening to all the tunes. i actually keep going back to this song specifically because i saw it on this 'boys planet contestants as taylor swift songs' thread and this was the jiwoong song LOL. i don't know how i feel abt that but now i somehow associate this song w him.

this is probably my favorite cavetown song, it's so soft and sweet and the lyrics describe the kind of love i think i would like to experience ;-; i also think it says a lot that i associate it with a lot of my favorite ships. i saw an edit to this song of jiwoo and seojoon after i finished tms2 and now i've been listening to it on repeat and thinking about them....

i'm sure everyone i want to tag has done this or has been tagged in this but it said to tag my favorite mutuals so i will do that regardless (minus the people that tagged me, who are also my favorites of course <3): @petrichoraline @heart-ming @markpakin @sillsif @silverquillsideas @justafriend-ql @puentalay @kissingunderaprideflag @rachanun @catboyjosten

[casualhedonists]

i'm the one that asked u about ur favourite movies and i am so delighted to know you're a movie buff! you can tell with how lovingly you describe them and you have EPIC taste truly!!! are you on that movie app/site letterboxd? if so, drop the user RN bestie (if not, GET ON IT RN BESTIE)

ima slip in a couple recommendations rq (hopefully you've seen, but if you haven't, i reckon you might like) such as

'tick, tick... BOOM!' directed by Lin-Manuel Miranda (musical-biopic, Jonathan Larson, lots of catchy songs in it)

'Babylon' directed by Damien Chazelle (controversial, love letter to cinema, massive shit on Hollywood, beautifully made and incredible score)

'bones and all' directed by Luca Guadagnino (cannibal romance, outcasts, stoic and freaky movie)

the 'Before' trilogy directed by Richard Linklater (young ethan hawke, romance, beautiful beautiful score, essentially observing two people fall in love and talk for an hour and a half or something, incredible trilogy - my personal favourite is 'before sunset')

'When Harry Met Sally...' directed by Rob Reiner (classic rom-com, friends to lovers, unbelievably charming. i mean i would be surprised if you havent seen this one especially but just incase lmao)

'Sanctuary' directed by Zachary Wigon (dominatrix, freaky and sexy, cute score, interesting and really well made. not anything INCREDIBLE but definitely worth the look)

ANYWAYS sorry for taking up a lot of space in your inbox, would love to read some of ur thoughts on these, or just generally would love to see you post more about cinema if you're down!

i hope you're well and taking care of yourself! sending so so much love from (likely) across the world <3333

you’re the cutest nonnie hope you know that <3333

(i’m not on letterboxd a travesty i KNOW) i rlly do need to get around to that at some point bc wow

also!! you have incredible taste, these recs are 11/10

oh my god i fucking LOVE tick tick boom. like. i waited for months for it to come out and watched it w my family the day it came out and they all watched me ugly cry the whole time. it was such a moment in time. honestly i was so nervous i wouldn’t like it bc of how much i adore rent but lin manuel miranda was the only person id trust to do jonathan larson’s story justice and BOY did he exceed expectations. if we’re talking musical biopics, god i LOVED rocketman and bohemian rhapsody when they came out. that was such a good year for movies.

i also adore when harry met sally. god i just. romcoms. yknow?? strangely though despite my film buff status i didn’t watch it until like a year ago, it had been on my list for ages and def did not disappoint. i love the classic romcoms too, pretty woman, notting hill, love actually (did i mention the holiday in my original post?? pls tell me i did i could write essays abt that movie) like i shit you not i have a full spotify playlist with movie scores and i constantly say im like miles (jack black’s character) from the holiday bc he’s a composer and score buff (im only the latter lmao but still)

i’ve been wanting to watch babylon for the LONGEST time now you e def given me an excuse to get around to it!! and my friend has told me about bones and all saying it’s incredible (she and i have like this cannibalism inside joke it’s hard to explain without sounding weird lmaoo) and it’s also on the list!! and the before trilogy sounds right up my alley and i’m v curious to check out sanctuary also!!

i’m trying to think of other movies to suggest hmmm it depends on your tastes like my top five are def inspiring/heart wrenching but also comfort romance/ romcoms but i love all diff types of movies. like space movies as a category, the martian and interstellar as my top two for example. (also basically anything w jessica chastain in it i will watch bc im in love w her) and okay i also love the classics like the truman show, dead poets society, also horror movies too like the original scream is def my favorite horror film bc its hilarious, and i also (not in a toxic film bro way) rlly do like tarantino. like. inglorious basterds my beloved and also reservoir dogs, so good.

okay i think i’ve talked way too much abt movies for one post im wrapping it up now!! hope you’re well nonnie and sending tons of love back <333

[hyumjim]

was tagged by another insensitive spotify user oomf @eunseo to share some spotify playlist shit but idk i will just post 10 (NEW) songs i have been listening to and enjoying of late in these recent times.

IVE - kitsch

LE SSERAFIM - Eve, Psyche & The Bluebeard's Wife

Kep1er - LVLY

lee chaeyeon - I don't wanna know

blitzers - macarena

onlyoneof - blueblueseoul

stray kids - novel

oneus - erase me

boys planet - jelly pop

LE SSERAFIM - flash forward

also it's a bit embarrassing but i'll post my top 10 most listened tracks of the year so far haha... since apparently apple music lets u view it throughout the year now

newjeans - ditto

newjeans - OMG

TXT - new rules

stayc - teddy bear

road-b - nonstop

golden child - knocking on my door

golden child - replay

ciipher - stay

wonho - crazy

up10tion - so beautiful

[theydontknowabouthem]

hiii L here! (and yes i love the death note reference of it all it's fun. the fact that L was your first blorbo!!! amazing. i only read a few of them back in middle school but i remembering having the time of my life.)

i need more clues to guess where you're from pleaseeee. are you from a country which language is in your top five songs???? if so, oh boy. that would be entertaining for reasons i will explain then 😂 EDIT. ACTUALLY NOW THAT I'VE SEEN YOUR WHOLE SONGS SCREENSHOTS I'M GETTING FAR MORE SUSPICIOUS are u french or from a french speaking country👀

1b. my top fives artist are the 1975, sabrina, chappell, laufey and olivia rodrigo. i regret the mainstreamess of this but i must face the facts🫡 i listen mainly to songs in english, then spanish and french too, there might be the occasional german and arabic songs but unfortunately i am not much more varied than this. and yes my nationality is from one of those languages!

2. your spotify wrapped is rlly cool! i don't know some of those so i will have to listen to it. harry made it there!!! i gather from this that his music from all the boys is the one you like most but i must ask for the sake of it, are you a harry girl and if so, have you always been or has it changed over time?

3. also!!! stuck on the puzzle is one of my faves turner songs. / also i saw u had malamente in your top so PLEASE if you haven't yet listen to despecha by rosalia cus i have been sooo obsessed with it those past few months.

4. so how was your day today? mine was much better than yesterday! thank you for the virtual love and hot chocolate especially it's v me-core🥹 which shows are you rewatching at the moment? and what is your timezone.... asking for science not at all for clues nationality-related,,🙏

lots of love!!! xxxx

hi L!!!

omg, loving death note was such a big part of my identity when i was younger—i’m so glad you’ve enjoyed it too! i reread the manga this summer (i still cry every time l is killed).

1.about the clues—yes, my language is in the top five, and "i will explain then"?? the suspense!!! that’s so diabolical of you! i need answers!! i need to know!! no, i’m not from a french-speaking country, but french is quite common here. yay, you’re picking up the right clues!! i’m cheering for you!!

1b. that’s cool!! we also love pop in this house!! i know three of your top five: the 1975, sabrina, and olivia, but i don’t think i’ve listened to their songs—maybe the 1975, but i can’t tell. if i’ve heard the others, i must not have recognised them. (i don’t live under a rock; i’m just not active on social media… okay, maybe i live under a digital rock). also, mainstream or not, if it’s good, it’s good!! xd can you recommend some of your favourite songs by the 1975?? i’d love to get into them; i saw they’re pop rock, and i like this genre!! the clues are not clueing—i can’t tell!! starting with the negative: i think you’re not from an english-speaking country. "the occasional german" is throwing me off more than arabic. i think you live in either europe (most likely) or latin america (keeping my options open).

2. thanks!! <3 about the boys: it changes each year for me, music-wise. louis used to be in my top five a lot, and songs from icarus falls and flicker always made it into my wrapped. that’s just for their music, though. i’ve been a louis girl since day one, and that hasn’t changed!! zayn was the runner-up. what about you?? did your fave change, and if so, why??

3. it's such a good song, isnt it?! that submarine ep owns my heart! and rosalia is my wifey!! i love her!! of course, i’ve heard it—it’s amazing and so fun!! it always cheers me up!!

4. i’m glad you’ve had a good day and liked my special hot chocolate!! i’m a bit under the weather, so i’ve started rewatching hannibal—one of my favourite series ever!! what’s yours?? and how’s your day going?? and cos i never say no to science: it’s +1GMT.

much love!! xx

[jellieclogs]

explaining my kpop lore

inspired by a tweet I made, we’re talking about seventeen, bts, got7, nct, and more!

so first of all, i consistently lied about how long I was into kpop because when I had a huge active Twitter account, you were seen as cooler if you were into it in your older days. so let’s just make that clear…oomfs I’m sorry </3 it’s been around 8 years or so (2015) is when I actually got into it. but I always used to say 2013.

anyway, I got into kpop right around when seventeen released their shining diamond EP. I stumbled upon them on YouTube and someone reacting to their shining diamond MV. I watched so many of their old predebut videos and very quickly they were the very first group I absolutely adored, and I only got into kpop social media after I started making edits of them on vine. before that I was exclusively following them through YouTube videos. i have always been a jun/scoups/VERNON lover but as of lately i don’t keep up with them actively.

my favorite songs by seventeen are simple, pretty u, HABIT (untouchable FLAWLESS track), Q&A, and change up!!

so after getting introduced to kpop by seventeen, I was then introduced to bts, got7, exo. I went through a serious and intense bts phase, like it was bad. had those black debut jerseys in my Amazon cart and everything like 😭

now, I was 13 years old here, so of course I was a bit obsessed with these men. i probably have thousands of pictures of jimin and jungkook saved in my google photos. yes it’s embarrassing but honestly, i was so happy i think it’s okay that i was a cringe 13 year old. as for my favorite members, i went through a phase with yoongi, hoseok, jimin, and jungkook 😭 i feel that because i loved this group so much my favorite really changed a lot, i liked them all equally. like during my discovery of bts, i immediately liked jimin, but during the i need u/run (hyyh) era I liked jungkook a lot, then during wings i was very attached to hoseok and yoongi </3 for a while now though, jungkook has been my favorite :)

my list of favorite bts songs is a huge list, but here it is; (using the Spotify titles because I forgot the hangul/romanization for them) tomorrow (top 5 for sure), just one day, butterfly, silver spoon, embarrassed, young forever, lie, reflection (also top 5), spring day, stigma, cypher 4, best of me, truth untold, singularity, black swan, boy with luv, fake love, SEESAW (top 3. argue with the wall.), you never walk alone, my time, and lots more. im not gonna say their discography is flawless, because every group has their stinkers, BUT bts is one of those groups I can just shuffle and most songs I won’t skip because I like them that much.

personally, I could make an entire post about wings and how insanely good that entire era was. I’m sure some kpop group has done the concept of every member having their own track before, but since I wasn’t into kpop before 2015, this is the first time it was presented to me. and it was done SO god damn well. i was obsessed with any and all fan theories, counting down to the next teaser, and lost my mf MARBLES when I finally watched blood sweat and tears for the first time. that era and album, the concept, the visuals, the MUSIC, FLAWLESSLY done. like do you hear that dissonance on lie? are you kidding me??? the strings?? tae’s voice on stigma????!!??!??!? I am so not normal about reflection, it’s very bad for meee!! it’s insane the production tha went into those tracks, they are ALL so good..the only songs I’m skipping on that album is just am i wrong and 2,3! THATS IT. YEAH, WE BUMPING INTERLUDE:WINGS TOO!

im still holding onto the hope that I can see them perform live someday. they are a group really special to me despite whatever infuriating fan wars were happening on Twitter in 2016/17. also just REALLY wanna hear the black swan into fake love transition like i just know that will change my life forever��.

moving onto exo! I think I found them before BTS, but it wasn’t that much before. just like slightly, like I discovered EXO right before I discovered BTS. I was really sad because, by the time I discovered EXO, kris had already left the group. he was the one who caught my eye the most, which was in the mama exo-m music video. but i moved on from that and jongin was always my bias, it never changed. i did have a brief stint liking xiumin but I don’t think my bias ever rlly changed. i didn’t listen to as much of their music but i feel that their discography is a little timeless honestly, disregarding some interesting tracks…(looking at you wolf..)

my favorite exo songs are; what is love!! insanely good. moonlight, mama, playboy, el dorado (top 5 for sure😭), black pearl, shes dreaming, artificial love, MONSTER!!!!!!!, lucky one, obsession, the eve, SWEET LIES !!!! sad what their company’s management has done to exo as a whole but I still really enjoy their music. I recently watched their episode of killing voice and while I didn’t know many of the songs they sung, it’s always so nice to hear their voices. it’s always really great vocals from kyungsoo and suho. another group I really liked was monsta x, favorite members were always shownu and wonho <3 I did get to see them live on July 16, 2017! hyungwon was sick so he wasn’t there :( but it was an amazing night. i discovered so many new songs by MX and after that concert they were solidified as one of my favorite boy groups ever. some of my fave MX songs: perfect girl, from zero, fighter!!! (so INSANE live) dramarama, now or never, tropical night, shine forever, miss you, beautiful, STUCK!!!!, and beautiful! the clan was also an era I really really liked, the cinematic videos they had were amazing!!!

nct was a group i was lucky enough to watch debut which I feel their debut was INSANE. i can’t believe how early on mark lee established himself as an actually GOOD rapper. there’s a lot of boys in nct so i had a lot of ‘em that I really liked, but mainly taeyong, jaehyun, and doyoung. i really liked the concept of their sub units, the dreamies were so young when they debuted and it was a treat to watch them grow as artists. i know exactly where I was when I listened to the 7th sense, fire truck, and chewing gum for the first time. i unfortunately do not know too many of their newer stuff besides title tracks but i really like a lot of the stuff that they put out.

my fave nct songs: wake up (SO underrated), the 7th sense, boss, baby don’t stop, black on black, cherry bomb, SUN&MOON (had like a 30 second clip of this song as my pinned tweet for months. it genuinely changed my life hearing this for the first time), 0 mile, baby don’t like it, limitless, kick it, Pandora’s box, nonstop, punch, life is still going on 💛, we go up, chewing gum, ridin, and regular!!

i also really liked day6, my favorite member was jae and my favorite song of all time will always be i smile!! I saw them live and heard shoot me for the first time it was CRAZY. other songs I really liked were; I would, i wait, letting go, blood, sing me, and somehow.

honorable mentions of really good boy group or soloist songs I was obsessed with vixx - shangri-la vixx - fantasy wanna one - energetic shinee - odd eye (PEAK) shinee - 1 of 1 shinee - don’t stop shinee - replay agust d - tony montana agust d - agust d block b - her hotshot - jelly

alright time for my big one!! i actively followed got7 since 2015 when I discovered them. by this time they had JUST released just right, and what an insanely good video to introduce someone new to them 😭 so perfectly cute and catchy, like how could you not fall in love? And with the sea of content i had with all the real got7 episodes it’s like it was destined for them to be my favorite group of all time. And it’s crazy the absolute whiplash I got that same year when they got all dark and released if you do!!!! both such amazing AMAZING songs to be released in one year.

I’m gonna go ahead and skip my Twitter career as an ahgase, including the exposé thread on mark’s friends which blew up my account (looking back it’s weird for me as a 14 year old to police whom he was friends with, and the mf I exposed mark is still friends with him sooo…anyway) it’s long and a little embarrassing but just know I was ride or fucking die for got7 on Twitter. i was on there everyday, counting down the days to their next comeback, live tweeting during vlive streams, sending out thousands of tweets a day to vote for them on award shows, crying and screaming and terrorizing the timeline anytime mark so much as breathed in a cute way.

speaking of which, got7 is another group that my love for them was so big, it migrated around to almost every member. i of course always loved mark and made that very known, but there were times when i was tweeting just a bit more about yugyeom, or jackson, or bambam, or (surprisingly) jaebeom.

my experience definitely changed after I saw them live for the first time in the pit in Miami. it was pretty life changing and i know I say that a lot, but it was first concert EVER and i was so excited and happy. i cried immediately when they came out singing let me. got to do photo op for them (my amazing mommy allowed me to experience this) the picture has me sitting with jaebeom posing cutely above me. i was wearing like a weird thrasher shirt with a navy blue striped shirt under it and had very old and raggedy braids…I was going through a rough time financially. i got to see them again in Newark in 2019!! I didn’t get to do a photo op that time, but I was a lot cuter in my outfit.

for this music section, you can view my favorite got7 song from every album (excluding jpn releases). I’m that in love with their music, YUP!

and there we have it. comprehensive post of my kpop “lore” with lots of stuff left out. I made so many amazing friends through kpop and despite the reputation kpop groups and fans have, I really loved being in an active community of people especially ahgases. lots of love to all my friends, nutdonalds my first gc of friends who made stan Twitter something worth coming back to every single day, cunt7 my best friends that I wouldn’t trade for the fucking world, leo who was my first best friend i met irl and showed me so much kindness always. and all the friends that stayed in contact with me after I kind of fell out of the kpop Twitter life, you all know who you are. 🩷

[quaranmine]

time to give you some of my reccs

okay, i got SO many more of those reccs than i anticipated, and it was so much fun! thank you for sending them in. in return, here's a few of my own (no LH edition) (hardmode)

this is like actually in my top songs ever and it has been making me lose my mind since...2014? like i think this song has been in my top 100 almost every year i've had spotify lol just listen to it <333

this entire album is amazing but this one's my fave

yass

idk why this song causes me to go insane i cant explain it it just does

i can't explain why this is a desert duo song. it might not even fit. it just IS and i cant listen to this song and be normal

this is my favorite 80s song. mandatory listening

ANOTHER SONG I LOSE MY MIND OVER

i found this song while making my last life playlist and. yeah

catfish and the bottlemen my beloved i was totally obsessed with them the entire year of 2019. this and Fluctuate

look deep into my psyche and this will be playing (a fun fact about me is that onerepublic used to be my favorite band i still like. have a very deep connection with them)

NOOO I RAN OUT OF ROOM

honorable mentions before i ran out room:

Blame - Bastille

Bear Claws - The Academic

HONEYCOMB - KUNZITE god it's been so long since i heard this i just found it again just now

What Am I Becoming? - POP ETC (i used to have a watcher grian comic wip for this song. it is forever a watcher grian song lol)

15 Dreams - New Politics (somewehre in 2017 i listened to this on repeat incessantly)

Next In Line, Avalanche, and Up 2 U by Walk the Moon. I loved WTM.

Dancing With Your Ghost - Sasha Sloan (this songs makes me cry)

Don't Take the Money and I Wanna Get Better by Bleachers

In Your Heart - The Franklin Electric

Australia - The Shins

Wired - Ivan & Aloysha

Help Me Down - Wilderado

Two Weeks - The East Pointers

We're Not In Orbit Yet, Good Luck, and The High Road by Broken Bells

[idol-trickster]

🎶✨when u get this u have to put 5 songs u actually listen to, publish. then, send this ask to 10 of your favorite followers (non-negotiable, positivity is cool) 🎶✨

@billyholztisch

OOC: I would have loved to answer this IC, but deciding what Trickster/Ji-Woon would listen to takes tons of headcanon space in my brain, which would take too long to think about to properly reply.

But since I got two of these I'll double the song amount and give you 10, straight from my Spotify most listened to! (I promise not to make duplicate artists' spots, so I'll list the "Top Song" and mention others from them.)

Zico - Freak This has been in my top songs for 3 months (since it was released) It overthrew Any Song, which was reigning supreme last year! She's a Baby is also one I adore a lot, Balloon & Being Left always hurt my heart (Dean's vocals are fantastic), and not to mention Anti is such a strong statement song.

2. Block B - Her This song, choreography, video, and aesthetic make me happy! Very Good is my gateway song to BB, but I've listened to Her more often recently. Their sub-group stuff Bastarz's whole I'm a Mess album is super sexy, and it's a treat anytime I get to hear P.O.'s vocals!

3. Enhyphen - Drunk-Dazed Sexy, Hype, and Catchy! It was great to see the performance in person, and one of my favs right next to Fever and One in a Billion!

4. DPR Ian - No Bluberries DPR as a duo is so talented and they work hard to self-produce! Though this song mostly DPR Ian is one of my favs for the tone. Scaredy Cat comes in right next to this one, but honestly, all their songs are REALLY my style. (They have a nice Indie sound)

5. Kai - Peaches "Pretty girl you're like peaches~" It's such a lovely song and I love the soft sound. It always gets quickly stuck in my head if I listen, and Kai's concept seemed so cute. I always remember how happy he seemed to have released this song, and that he wanted a fantasy feel.

6. Wonho - Ain't about you King is conquering the English vocals, and with such a sultry and good duet, they really balance out the song. The beat reminds me of being trendy and as if it belongs in Dislyte!

7. PRETTYMUCH, CNCO - Me Necessita The boy band sound with Spanish lyrics and a reggaeton beat made this a big hit on my playlist. I love it so much! Their other song Would You Mind is so fun and has such an 80s-90s sound it makes it a fun listen!

8. Salem Ilse, TXT, Alan Walker - PS5 I'm a console gamer, so this song was relatable! The vocals are gorgeous and the beat's so catchy, I end up humming this song a lot.

9. Vaundy - Tokyo Flash This just has such a great sound. It's very indie sounding and has a great melody to lyric composition. Everything compliments so well.

10. Phoenix - If I Ever Feel Better Honestly, this song always makes me sentimental and grateful. I'm putting it here because I think everyone needs to hear this at least once. No matter how hard things get, and how un-ending it feels, it's always nice to have a positive outlook; sometimes when it doesn't feel like you're reaching any goals, something as nice as spending time with someone you cherish and having a good time is what we should look forward to, to enjoy our lives. It's a reminder to not forget the love and support we receive, and look forward to good days! Maybe to be kinder and take things easier on ourselves and make our happiness an important goal. (But other than that, I really adore Lisztomania from them too)

--- PS. As a bonus song, I adore "Sixpence None The Richer - Kiss Me (Japanese Version)"; it's hit my no.2 spot on Spotify, it's so classic! (and I discovered the Japanese cover from Tokyo Vice)

[aiekerman]

Easy - Eren Jaeger

Eren Jaeger x Reader - fluff, college!au

AN - If you saw me post this before, no you didn’t. But in actuality it is a repost I just changed it to second person oops. But anyway, hopefully anyone who sees it for the second time likes it again lol. 

(A part 2 and/or prequel does exist for this in my brain if anyone was ever interested!)

Song vibes: Easy by Troye Sivan ft. Kasey Musgraves

Summary - Just a pair of friends that definitely do not like each other. But leave their rooms at midnight for each other with no hesitation, and know each other’s food orders, and are low-key affectionate with each other.  A pair of friends.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Y/N: Hey :)

Eren drags his head out of his textbook as his phone goes off. Pushing stray hairs back off his forehead and out of his eyes. His tired eyes lit slightly at the sight of your name. His fingers quickly replying

Eren: Hey u

He glances at the time, 12.03 am, he frowns, worried whyyou were awake so late. Three bubbles appear on his screen as he waits for your reply to arrive.

Y/N: U up?

Eren: I’m texting u back aren’t I?

Her reply takes slightly longer this time, and his mouth crooks up at the side, picturing the eye roll you were most definitely doing.

Y/N: Shut up

You know what I mean

Eren: Yeah I’m up

Last minute studying

He pulls the phone from its charger and leans back in his chair, one foot against the desk leg and swinging back slightly. You take a little longer to reply and his eyes drift to the top of the screen where your contact picture is. His mouth betrays him again and a smile ghosts over it. 

The picture is simple. A candid of you sat proudly in front of a sandcastle you were making at the beach during spring break. Your legs splayed either side of it, covered in sand. You were smiling up at someone, probably Sasha, your hair a wavy, salty mess, blowing in the sea breeze.

Your reply finally comes, vibrating the phone in his hand and dragging him from his thoughts. He rolls his eyes at your message.

Y/N: Midnight Taco Bell run? :)

Eren: Have you been smoking?

Y/N: No I just also happen to be doing midnight work and have a craving

His fingers move to reply before another message comes through, very quickly, and he pauses.

Y/N: And I miss your dumb face

Eren: You mean my pretty face?

Y/N: I change my mind I’m asking Jean

Eren: Shut up I’m getting ready now

Y/N: :))

Eren chucks the phone over to his bed, staring at his textbook for a second. He knows he should keep studying, or better yet, go to bed. But he misses you too. He stands from the seat and shuffles around his room, quietly as possible. Armin was definitely asleep and would definitely make a dumb comment about Eren being whipped for someone he wasn’t even dating.

Eren brushes off the thought and pulls his sneakers on, swaps his gym shorts for sweatpants and scrapes his hair back into the best bun he can manage. 

After wandering out of his room he grabs his keys and wallet from by the door and shuts it over with the quietest click he can manage. 

On his walk to his car he sends one more text.

Eren: Getting in the car now

Eren: I’ll be like 10 mins

Y/N: I’ll be the cute one in pyjamas ;)

He laughs at the flirtatious message before switching on his car and driving off. 

His mind doubles back to what would be Armin’s comments on the situation. They weren’t dating, but flirting between friends was entirely normal. He shakes off feeling the need to justify his relationship with you. You were friends, best friends. That almost hooked up once. The first time you met. But now you were just friends.

Before he even realises it he’s pulling up at the kerb by your building, his eyes glancing up to the door and watching a shadowy figure emerge. His head leans back against the headrest when her form comes into the dim street lights.

You’re dressed the same as him, sweatpants hugging your hips and an oversized hoodie drowning your top half. He squints for a second, was that his hoodie? Nah, it probably wasn’t, you had similar taste in hoodies anyway. You push the hood back when you reach the car, a mess of hair tumbling out around your face. It resembled a bedhead, but he knew you well enough to conclude you’d been sleepily running hands through it all night to make the mess. Tugging at the roots in efforts to stay focused on whatever it was you were working on.

You tug the door open and pull yourself into the seat. Situating yourself before turning to him and pushing your glasses up her nose, foregoing contacts at this hour, ‘Hi.’

He smiles down at your smaller form, ‘Hey you.’

‘Let’s get going.’

He raises an eyebrow at you, watching you slide down in the seat. Your eyes are wide as you stare back, ‘What?’

‘Seatbelt.’

You roll your eyes and push yourself back up, reaching for the seatbelt, ‘Yes, mother.’

Hearing the belt click in place he pulls off, satisfied with your safety being secured.

You grab his phone from the cupholder, and push it under his face slightly, not obstructing his view but close enough for him to give it a quick glance and unlock his face ID for you. You start scrolling spotify and find your combined playlist, made with midnight food runs in mind. RnB starts flowing out of his speakers.

Dropping the phone back in the cupholder you turn to look at his profile, ‘So what you been studying for?’

‘Psychology final, not until next week but after I kinda bombed the midterm I don’t wanna be caught off guard. You?’

‘Final project is due in two weeks. I’ve kinda got it finished but I’m not sure.’

He smiles, knowing you were just being a perfectionist about it.

‘Am I gonna get to read it?’

‘Why do you want to?’ You laugh at him, looking over at his profile that was focused on the road ahead, but seeing his lip was pulled up in a smirk.

‘Cause you haven’t shut up about it all year, I wanna know if all the support snacks I’ve bought you have been worth it.’

You scrunch up your face and shove it down into the hoodie you were adorned in. It smelt like Eren. Wait, was this his hoodie?

‘Huh, nothing to say back?’ His grin is too smug as he steals a look at you. You glare up at him, ‘Shut up.’ 

Silence settles over you in the last minutes before you approach the destination. You push yourself up to sit when the glowing sign comes into view, your eyes lighting up again.

‘Drive thru or sit in?’ Eren questions, approaching slowly as he waits for an answer.

‘Sit in, please.’ He nods before swinging into a parking spot.

You both jump out and Eren rounds the car to your side, bumping you with his hip in greeting now you were out of the car. His hands are stuffed in his pockets but you grab hold of his sweatshirt sleeve gently as you start joking about how you had to sneak out without setting off Sasha’s food radar.

Inside you bounce ahead of him slightly, up to one of the self serve screens and start ordering. He smiles softly at how you had to shuffle the too-long hoodie sleeve up to let your hand emerge.

He comes behind you and places his chin on top of your head, watching as you confidently tapped at the different items.

‘You haven’t asked what I wanted yet.’ 

‘I know your Taco Bell order, idiot.’

‘Maybe I want something different this time.’

‘No you don’t.’

The screen goes black for a second while loading the checkout and he glances at your reflection. You push your glasses up your nose, looking up and sticking your tongue out at him when you see his eyes already on you. 

He smiles before ruffling at your already messy hair and standing back to pull out his wallet. Glancing up, he catches you doing the same and suddenly moves quicker, as do you. Whipping out his bank card and reaching around you to tap it on the terminal, the familiar beep of a successful transaction going off before you can push your card in the bottom slot.

Eren grins in triumph while you stuff your wallet back in the hoodie and grumble, ‘Stupid contactless card.’

You pull the receipt from the machine while he walks over towards a booth, dropping into the seat and stretching his legs out while watching you.

Your hands are shoved into the hoodie, you sway and shuffle around on you feet. Standing still was never one of your strong suits. 

A smile takes over Eren’s face as you yawn and rubs at your eyes, pulling the hood up over your head and pulling at the strings slightly. He chuckles at the image of your head being swallowed. You turn at the sound and frown at him, mouthing out ‘don’t laugh at me.’ Prompting his laughter to continue on.

He settles back in the booth when their number is called and you wander up to accept the tray of food.

Dropping yourself down across from him, the two of you automatically begin splitting out their food, almost instinctively knowing which packages were for who; Eren always had the nachos, you never deviated from fries. 

You ate in silence for just a moment before you pick up conversation again, ‘Are you gonna go to Jean’s party after finals?’

‘So bold of you to assume Jean could pull off a decent party without me.’ He smiled, stuffing a bite of his burrito in his mouth as you giggle. ‘What about you?’

‘I mean yeah probably, if everyone else is going.’

‘Well, Jean has got me and Connie roped in to help with set up, so Connie will make Sasha go, and Sasha will make Mikasa go, who will make Armin go, who will make sure I don’t flake off early and I’ll make sure you stay.’

‘Connie and I.’ You correct, reaching for your drink.

‘Shut up.’

‘Also, Eren Jaeger flaking early from a party is wholeheartedly unheard of.’

‘I left the last one early because someone needed to be walked home after throwing up.’

You pause with the straw at your mouth, eyes narrowing in a glare. 

‘You can’t get too messy this time anyway. Bertolt is gonna be there.’

You scrunch up your face in confusion, ‘Why’d you say his name like that.’

‘Because, you haven’t got laid since spring break, he’s cute and you said you guys have gotten super close from your fiction writing class.’

You roll your eyes at the tall boy’s explanation and shrug, ‘He’s kinda cute. I guess. And we haven’t gotten super close, we barely knew each other before the class.’

‘Exactly, he’s at perfect arm’s length for a hook up. You deserve it after all the stressing you’ve done this semester.’

You shrug again. Setting your drink back on the table and leaning back, your feet stretching out to bump against Eren’s, you think about it.

Eren watches you, yourr eyes staring out into space. Bertolt was cute, he didn’t get around that much from what Eren had heard of the boy, but he was sweet enough that he knew he could trust him with you, even just for a night.

But even as he looked you over, dark circles beginning to shadow under your eyes, figure swamped in your loungewear and hot sauce staining one edge of your mouth. You were way out of Bertolt’s league.

‘You’re probably way too good for him anyway.’

‘Even just for a hookup?’ Your eyes meet his green ones, your mouth showing a teasing smile starting to form.

He stuffs more burrito in his mouth and nods.

‘You think I’m too good for everyone.’

He swallows and reaches for his drink, ‘cause you are.’

‘Was I too good for you, is that why you didn’t have sex with me?’ You start grinning and laughing as he chokes on his drink. He leans an elbow on the table as he coughs, glaring at you through his lashes.

Eren sticks a hand out at you and gestures for you to cough it up. You pull a dollar from your wallet and stuffs it in his hand.

He imagines it’s the same dollar he gave you last week after he joked about your almost hook up. The metaphorical ‘don’t talk about the time we almost had sex’ jar was essentially the same dollar passed back and forth.

‘Was that one worth it?’ He raises an eyebrow at your giggling face as you reaches to open your crunchwrap, nodding in a satisfied manner.

You hold the hexagonal taco in your small hands and Eren chuckles. You eye him, taking your first bite and speaking out a muffled, ‘What?’

‘Your tiny hands always make those things look huge.’

‘Maybe your meaty boy’s hands just make it look small.’

He sticks a hand out in front of you, palm spread out to show the full size, ‘My hands are not meaty. And they’re no bigger than average.’

‘What are you talking about?’ You mirror him, lifting your hand to press a palm against his, the tips of your fingers just brushing above the second knuckle. 

‘Your hands are just tiny.’

‘No, they only look small because yours are huge.’

You both fall silent, two sets of eyes trained on your pressed together hands. Eren ignores the feel of his heart pounding up against his chest.

What was wrong? They’d held hands before? 

The ring of your phone blaring out an alarm drew both of them from the trance. Eren slid his fingers to interlock with your’s, playfully pushing your hand back towards your body.

‘Who’s calling you at this hour?’

‘No one, I, uh, I set an alarm for one thirty am. Otherwise we’d sit here all night, knowing the two of us.’

He lets out a small laugh, nods in agreement and starts to gather up your trash. His eyes run over your face just before standing, choosing not to make fun of the blush gracing your cheeks.

You stand and fall in stride next to him, bumping his hips with your own and poking his side, ‘What about you?’

‘What about me?’

‘Got your eye on anyone for Jean’s party?’

‘Nah, I’d rather just chill. I’ll probably spend half the night making sure Jean stays relatively sober for his own party.’ You laugh at the idea, nodding your head fervently. Jean usually ended up the messiest of the bunch.

The exit into the cold night air, and your body is immediately taken over with shivers. Eren rolls his eyes but loops an arm around your shoulder, his own body a constant furnace. You hum in appreciation, leaning into his side as he rubs at your arm.

Climbing into the car, he blasts the heat. This time you pull on your seatbelt with no need for prompting, your head turning to stare up at him, the raise of her eyebrows translating to You happy?

He stays quiet, pulling on a cheesy grin that answers back, Very.

You flop back into your seat, a yawn overtaking you and the heat of the car soothing you The effort to keep your eyes open immediately doubled.

‘You can close your eyes. I’ll wake you when we get to your building.’

You look at him with a sorry expression, ‘But I dragged you out I shouldn’t-’

‘Sleep, idiot,’ he cuts you off, lifting a hand from the steering wheel to run over your hair, long fingers running through it. Always a surefire way to make you sleepy.

You drift off quickly, a smile softly laid on your cheeks.

Eren feels his heart beating hard once again. He swallows it down. Focuses on the road. Just friends was easier.

[dazai-fics]

Stargazing – Dazai Osamu

Pairing: Dazai x Reader (high school au)

Word Count: 2.6k*

Warnings: slight cursing, smut/nsfw- oral, fingering

Summary: Having Osamu Dazai as your boyfriend has never been boring.

A/n: This has been stuck in my head for a while and I finally was able to sit down and write it out so I hope you guys enjoy and don’t judge me too much because this is my first time writing out smut !

Inspired by: Stargazing*- The NBHD

You could feel the cool of the evening seep into your bones as you groggily sat up in your plush bed. Once, then twice, did you blink to remove any bit of remaining sleep as you looked over to the source of your annoyance.

Your phone lit up with a string of messages from only one contact; a contact that as of late had made your heart pound in a way that was indescribable in every sense of the word. Sighing, you picked up the phone and began to read over the messages your extremely clingy boyfriend woke you up with.

‘Samu ♡:

1:04 AM

hey baby i can’t sleep u up?

1:04

Belladonna ? :(

1:05

I’m coming over, have a surprise for us :)

He’s what?

You were now fully awake at this point and groaned at the spontaneity and impulsiveness of your brunette lover. Knowing you had no choice but to go along with his antics, you got out of your bed and quickly ran to your closet hoping the faster you went, the quicker the chills would go away as they flared your arms and legs up with goosebumps.

You were already wearing sweatpants, so you decided to just throw on a black hoodie that was suspiciously too big on your figure.

You inhaled deeply as the smell of vanilla and mint overcame your senses causing a serene smile to overcome your features. Yes, this was indeed the sweatshirt of the Osamu Dazai; a man that in the last couple of months has invaded your every waking thought and had claim over any flush in your cheeks, dimple in your smile, and crinkle in your eyes as they closed shut-tight over the unbearable laughter released at one of his cheesy jokes.

Of course that didn’t mean everything was all raised heart beats and shared smiles with the boy as dating Dazai also meant caring for him and all his dark thoughts and emotions. As well as vise versa since your life by no means was easy and perfect. However, no matter how bad things got; or who left or entered your life, you could always count on Dazai, and him you, to be there whenever life caught you both in it’s gloomy and seemingly inescapable hold.

Another smile escaped your lips and you once again inhaled the calming scent; now thinking back to how you met the lanky, mysterious, goofball.

You had moved to your new town back in your freshman year of high school which of course meant having to make new friends and basically start a whole new life in a time that was so important and vital.

You remember your first day at ADA highschool so vividly; the sweat that built in your palms, and the barely visible motion of your toes curling into your shoes from anxiety. You had thought making friends would be impossible no matter how many times your parents assured you that your “charming” personality would help you make friends so very easily.

It was the end of the day and you were sure that your still very much lack of friends would mean that would be the truth for the rest of your four years in this high school you were very much forced to attend. You felt a tear quickly escape your eye as the anxiety started to take physical form; quickly you ran to a quiet corner and began to wipe furiously and harshly at your eyes as you reprimanded your sensitivity.

“What am I five? Why am I crying so hard?”

You jumped suddenly as you heard quiet giggles next to your ear.

You felt embarrassment flood your body as you wiped even harder to stop the tears. He was a bit blurry, but you could faintly make out the long, curly, brunette hair; dark chocolate eyes, and white bandages that wrapped around his long, lanky, figure. He also wore casual clothes which consisted of jeans, a hoodie, and sneakers.

Your first thought, of course besides the initial embarrassment and anger, was why he was wrapped in those seemingly endless rolls of bandages.

“Who is this weird banaged guy?” You scoffed to yourself as your sniffles came to an end.

“Done crying?” He asked teasingly, that stupid smug smile still on his face.

“I don’t remember asking for your help or comfort,” you said defensively, the venom not really reaching your still red and glossy face.

The boy laughed again good-naturedly; not intentionally trying to rile you up but he couldn’t help but think your anxiety was misplaced.

“Well then, why don’t you come walk home with my friend Atsushi and I, could be fun~,” he offered, his hand held out to you in an act of trying to make you feel comforted.

Your eyes widened as you hesitantly accepted his offer; the boy rushing you along as soon as your hands made contact, going into a rant over another boy named Kunikida mothering the absolute shit out of him.

Four years had gone by and you were both in your senior year;  nothing really changing between you except the now official titles of ‘boyfriend’ and ‘partner’ which you had longed for since as long as you could remember.

Since that fateful day, you had become a part of the best group of friends you could ask for consisting of Atsushi, Kunikida, Yosano, Kenji, Ranpo, kyouka, and of course Dazai.

However, you knew you wanted something more with Dazai since freshman year and although you two were… close, he never seemed interested in more. He seemingly always had a new girl on his arm bragging about the various amounts of… sexual interactions he would have with them and each time it broke your heart a little more.

Despite all that, he would hold you whenever you were down, wiped your tears whenever they fell, and held you close when you couldn’t sleep; pressing gentle kisses when he thought you were knocked out by exhaustion finally hitting you.

Dazai had intimacy issues and fears you knew were holding him back from officially committing to you which is why you never pressed anything and kept your feelings locked up nice and tight… until a couple of months ago when it all came to a head.

Harsh words; honest words were shared by you both in an argument you thought would rip the person you had come to love and rely on most from you forever. Luckily it did the exact opposite as Dazai decided he was done with denying himself from your pure and warm love that made his dark world just a bit brighter everyday.

And now you two were inseparable; lips never too far from each other, limbs entangled whenever chance allowed. Your other friends were definitely sick of it but you both didn’t care as you denied each other from this comfort for too long to let any time go to waste.

You were snapped out of your reverie by gentle tapping at your window. You quickly turned your head to see the man of your thoughts sitting patiently on the ledge, a goofy smile etched into his pretty, pink lips.

You scoffed playfully as you made your way across the room to open the window for him. Immediately, he placed his lips on yours in a passionate kiss as his hands came up to cup your face lovingly.

“Mmm missed you so much,” he mumbled against your lips causing you to giggle.

“We saw each other, like, six hours ago!” You exclaimed slapping him playfully, causing him to release a laugh himself.

“Exactly! Now c’mon I’m taking you somewhere,” Dazai commanded you gently, grabbing your hand as he guided you out the window.

“‘Samu it’s one in the morning, where are we going?” You groaned in annoyance wanting your boyfriend to join you in bed and cuddle you back to sleep.

“Nuh uh uh~ It’s a surprise!” He exclaimed playfully booping you on the nose as you both made your way to his black range rover.

“Alright, whatever, can I at least get a hint?”

“Hmm, okay, okay, fine,” Dazai relented as he began to type away on his phone playing a song from his spotify that came out on his connected bluetooth, touch screen.

Take it from the top, if I start I just can’t stop…

You giggled silently as you shook your head, your boyfriend rolling down both of your windows and turning up the music for what he likes to call ‘the full midnight drive experience.’

“So are we going stargazing?!” You yelled over the wind and music.

“Yep!” He yelled back cheerily taking one hand off of the wheel to rub at your thigh comfortingly.

“Pull it out of park put in drive, I can feel your heart beating with mine, underneath the stars, lookin' for a sign glowin' in the dark 'til the sun shines, made it pretty far on the first try, might've set the bar a little too high, started with a spark, now we're on fire-”

You both yelled together which winded up with you both laughing uncontrollably. Dazai continued to sing along with the neighborhood as you took this as a chance to examine how gorgeous this man truly was.

His silky, curly brunette hair went everywhere as the wind entangled with it, his dark chocolate eyes shined with the headlights from the cars going on the opposite side of the freeway, his bandaged hands gripped at the wheel allowing you to see every vein and bone from his knuckles, and his face was flushed pink from the yelling and wind.

You laughed freely as you once again joined in with his singing; utter and complete joy filling you both which was rare.

Eventually, you both reached a secluded park with a hill; perfect for sitting and stargazing. Once you both got out, Dazai layed out a towel for you both to cuddle on without getting soaked from the freshly sprayed grass.

You both giggled loudly like the teenagers in love you were as you made yourself comfortable on your boyfriend’s chest; his lanky arms coming to wrap themselves around you, one occasionally letting go to point out the constellations or meteors blinking past in the inky sky.

You had to hold in your snickers whenever he would wrongly name a constellation but nonetheless; you would place a soft kiss on his cheek and thank him for teaching them to you.

Soon, the soft kisses on the cheek would turn to passionate kisses on the lips as Dazai changed his position to where he was on top of you. He began to leave a trail of kisses down your jaw to your neck; the juxtaposition of his warm kisses to the cold air surrounding you both caused small whimpers of pleasure to leave your lips.

“‘Samu…” you called breathily causing your boyfriend to look up from the dark hickeys he was ever-so-carefully placing on your collarbone.

“What is it, my belladonna?” He asked teasingly, returning to his methodically placed kisses.

“More…” you whined as arousal began to pool in your gut.

“As you wish.”

Dazai kissed lower down your belly to the elastic band of your panties. After leaving a couple small kisses on your hip bone, he looked up into your eyes for confirmation it was okay to go further. You nodded urgently and placed your hand in his soft locks as if to urge him on.  He let out a chuckle at your eagerness but complied nonetheless; you were his princess and whatever you asked of him he would do, even at the cost of his own wellbeing.

After pulling down your sweatpants and panties, he immediately attached his tongue to your clit; moving it in small circles he knew would make you fall apart. Your whines and whimpers fuled him on as your fingers harshly pulled on his locks.

“‘Samu… want your fingers” You ordered in between moans.

“Where baby, tell me,” he whispered, placing a soft kiss on your clit.

“inside…please!”

“As you wish.”

Dazai slowly placed his ring and middle fingers into your tight cunt, “Fuck belladonna, so wet for me,” he all but moaned as he gently moved his fingers around trying to find the spot that would have you fall apart all over him.

“‘Samu there! Please!” You gasped as he found your G-spot; not letting up until your back arched and you cummed all over his fingers.

“Good girl; my good, pretty girl that’s it,” he whispered gently as he coaxed you down from your high.

He licked away all the wetness from his fingers as he came back up to meet your lips in a passionate kiss filled with lust and love.

“‘Samu, want more..” you begged softly against his lips.

“Mmm what could you possibly mean~” your boyfriend teased causing you to groan.

“Oh like you don’t want the same thing I can see your hard-on from here,” you teased back looking down to see he was indeed impossibly hard in well fitted grey sweatpants.

“Ha-ha touché, belladonna.”

You both shared a loving laugh as you once again met in a kiss, your hand cupping the back of his head to bring him even closer. Dazai separated for a second to take off his pants and underwear letting his painfully hard cock hit against his abdomen, Dazai letting out a hiss from the cold hair hitting it.

“Need you baby, please,” you whined as your boyfriend soothed you with a kiss to the neck as he began to line his dick up with your wet pussy.

“Almost in, tell me if it ‘urts,” he mumbled as he began to fill you up.

You gasped, never truly used to his size but feeling complete nevertheless.

“Okay?” He asked gently and you nodded kissing his cheek giving him the silent permission to keep going.

“Feels so good ‘Samu!” You moaned as he picked up speed.

“Fuck you’re so tight baby, always so good and tight for me,” your boyfriend praised as he kept up a gentle pace trying to bring you both to your respective highs.

“Gonna cum ‘Samu,'' you whimpered as you felt the coil in your abdomen beginning to snap.

“Go on belladonna, cum for me,” he praised as you did just that; the fast tightening of your warm cunt milking Dazai’s cock as he began to cum with you.

Dazai collapsed on top of you, burying his head in your warm neck and you wrapped your smaller arms around his waist.

“Love you so much ‘Samu,'' you whispered as you felt soft kisses being placed on the dark hickeys your boyfriend left prior.

“Love you more, belladonna; thank you for always being by my side,” he whispered back.

After indulging in each other’s warmth and comfort for a while longer, Dazai cleaned you both up with the towel and dressed you both as he then gently picked you up and placed you in the back seat to lay down as you had fallen asleep.

He took a warm blanket he always kept for you in the trunk and tucked and buckled you in as he took his place in the driver’s seat and drove you both back to your house.

Once you both arrived he took you in arms and walked you both up to the front door where he used the key you gave him to let you in.  As quietly as possible, he then took you both upstairs to your room where he tucked you in again and then got comfortable in the bed next to you; gathering you in his arms and then pressing a kiss to your head.

“Good night, my love sleep well.”

[drunkjaked]

Omg I'm kinda embarrassed I know you said it's not bad to reply late but this is getting out of hand... how did your presentation go? I ended up not going to the other concert because my brothers got sick and he's was my ride 😔 but I was supposed to see barns courtney he's super good live it would've been so much fun 😔 I got the necklace!! I think it's called the ballina necklace? But it's basically just the logo with a pearl in the middle it's so pretty I love it like it's my own child <3 your Spotify wrapped... miss ma'am... like that's so valid of you but damn top .005% like I can't even imagine that I just. Wow. But again so valid I love that for you <3 I don't use Spotify so I don't get all the fancy graphics and data and all that but I do get my top songs of the year and my top artist of the month which is cool but I do kinda wish I could participate 🥲 it's fine though I like the app I use! I hope you're doing well, and I hope that school isn't too bad cause lord knows it can be -_- do you have any plans for the holidays? And yeah honestly matching boba and mcdonalds I think we were meant to meet <3 I hope you have a wonder amazing day/night and that every day gets better and better <3 -💕

hey 💕💕💕don't worry about it really !!! just glad to hear from you at all <333

wow.. the presentation.. i absolutely fucked up my 7 seconds of speaking time .. humiliating, but the rest of the group did so well and im really proud of them for staying calm and getting shit done <3 im also in love with one of the boys that was in the group and we all went out for drinks after doing the presentation and i drunkenly told him that i hoped the two of us would still keep talking after finishing the pres even though we don't have to and he like .. reciprocated my hopes and told me that he thinks im cute so .. that is .. just lovely.. anyway sorry for dumping all that out in here, my bad..

sorry that you couldn't go, i hope your brother is feeling better though !!! and omds that necklace is so SO pretty.. please keep an eye on it because people (me) can just be .. downright evil these days and like.. take your things from you 🤷🤷🤷.. especially the ones that they think are really beautiful and also want to possess.. haha,,, happy for you. 🙁.

my spotify wrapped.. i was like asking other people about theirs and like .. my friend's top song was a song she listened to 64 times THE WHOLE YEAR??? like i just .. was so impressed because like every song until my top 6 has 1k plays MINIMUM like .. im so jealous of people who can consume media in appropriate quantities.. it was down from last year though, my total minutes last year were 169k .. yikes .. who was your top artist and what was you top song? if you don't mind answering, also the thing about wrapped is like it's so colourful and full of patterns that it feels a little overwhelming.. like im grateful for the stats but the package it comes in is .. too much AND ITS SO LONGWINDED LIKE IT TOOK 150K MINUTES JUST TO SEE EVERYTHING OH MY GOODNESS 👎👎👎.

i'm doing pretty good honestly.. now that my presentation is over almost all of my school related stress has gone with it, i just have two more things to hand in and i'll be able to just relax and do nothing until january when classes start up again !!!

my holiday plans are pretty tame, my siblings (2 brothers and a sister) are going to come home and we'll spend time together for like a week or something before they all leave but EXCITINGLY.. my birthday is coming up (dec 17) and i'm so excited.. my birthday is literally my favourite day of the year so im reaaaaally looking forward to it even though my plans aren't particularly special 🥳 !

how are you doing? how are your classes treating you? especially around this time of the year oh man.. any holiday plans of your own?

im happy that we did get around to meeting and i hope we can be friends for a long time !!! thank u for the well wishes, as always im hoping the same for you and that you look after yourself and have lots and lots of fun ! all my love 💕, great catching up w u as always <3

[curryaboo]

— hiii! i was tagged by @banglatown @bengayli @jentlemahae @chameli aaand @/minteas to do this “get to know me better/20 questions” tag!! thank u so much beauts!! <3<3<3<3<3

🪁 what do you prefer to be called name-wise?

rao is absolutely fine!! <33

🪁 when is your birthday?

oct 13 :) i share it with some,, prominent people in popular culture and politics which aren’t rlly MY personal faves but wtvr it just goes to prove i’m the superior oct 13 baby !

🪁 where do you live?

the uk :<

🪁 three things you’re doing right now?

answering these questions, sorting out some spotify playlists in between answering these questions & casting my eyes between lines of james acaster’s classic scrapes and my phone (sunny @/amarakaran mentioned the book on one of her tag games n very kindly gave me the link to it and i jumped str8 to reading it! u know you’ve watched too many things featuring james acaster when u now read his book in his exact voice :/)

🪁 four fandoms that have piqued your interest right now?

bbc ghosts (ppl have some amazing theories n opinions surrounding it but i would not advise looking up the tag on here and sorting thru recent god bless youse but there are some awful takes there) aaand idk ig a range of kpop groups but i don’t rlly participate in the fandom sides of things anymore (and i’m not consuming a lot of new media or at least keeping up to date with the media that i do to label myself as being interested in being part of the fandom)

🪁 how is the pandemic treating you?

icl now that i’m seeing it in retrospect, it’s been cruel in the sense that it’s taken a lot of important things away from me (my last two years of high school for example i’m rlly bummed abt that) & stunted me in some ways but regardless i’ve learnt a lot about myself and my friends & family and yeah i’ve learnt to cherish myself and my loved ones all the same :)

🪁 song you can’t stop listening to right now?

boy am i glad this question is here bc since yesterday ? maybe i’ve been listening to gal mitthi mitthi endlesslyyy i think my brain chemicals recognise that we haven’t been to a wedding for the past 2 summers so it tries to fill the void by fixating on this one wedding-y song 💔💔

🪁 recommend a movie

PLS if u haven’t already , pls watch assassination nation bc i need someone to begrudgingly revel with in the absolute shit show pisstake of a movie that this is . (as a side note: my soul will not know peace until kennie jd does a video on it) on a more serious side, english vinglish is one of my most favourite films 10000/10 recommend pls go see it if u haven’t it’s an absolute warm hug of a movie <3

🪁 how old are you?

18 :)

🪁 school, university, occupation, other?

gap year babieee my soul is just wondering the place rn

🪁 do you prefer hot or cold?

cold !!

🪁 name one fact others may not know about you.

uhmm i lived in bangladesh for about 9-10 months when i was abt 4 and it was so amazing i miss it very much :’]

🪁 are you shy?

yes quite shy :} but i will always put effort into getting to know someone or initiating a convo !!

🪁 do you have any preferred pronouns?

i was in turmoil over them rlly but she/they is what i’m comfy with rn ! :D

🪁 any pet peeves?

other than some obvious ones, when ppl open things like crisps packets upside down,, that disgusts me truly

🪁 what’s your favourite “dere” type?

i would be a liar if i said i wasn’t biased towards a good bakadere but not too much that it annoys me lmao

🪁 rate your life 1-10. 1 being really crappy and 10 being the best you could ever be.

hmm rn it’s maybe a 5?? i’m grateful for so many things but there is def a lot of room for improvement :] (actually i just got on a 3 month free trial for spotify today so that just bumped the 5 up to a 6 😌)

🪁 what’s your main blog?

this one right here jaanoo.tumblr.com !!

🪁 list your side blogs and what they’re used for.

i don’t have any but i’ve been thinking of making one for aesthetics or like future references ??

🪁 is there anything you think people need to know about you before becoming friends with you?

uhmm again i am quite shy teehee™️ imo there’s a noticeable difference between when we were yk just friendly towards each other vs when we actually become friends and i’m more comfortable with u . that’s not to say that i was being fake in the earlier instances of u knowing me, i was just a lot more reserved :) i’m also one of those *is online 24/7 but gets virtual interaction burnout every 2 hours so postpones replying to ur message to 3 days later* which sucks skfjdsj but yeah if there was anything that i’d need to know about YOU it’d be if u had any dietary requirements bc i love baking for my friends <333

ok now i’m gonna embarrass myself more than i already have & tag a lot of ppl bc i’m super nosey like that and want to know my mutuals’ answers to these 🥸 ofc u can absolutely ignore this and not want to do it we’re not under any contractual binding here <33 @allenoraaa @okhag @watermlon @gayanese @letteredwingsmain @theropoda @holyself @txtzy @creatures2010 @junqhwans @mistblush @snsdyuri @waterz @derelicthousefootage @killuaology @staycverse @amarakaran @tendermachines @shahrukh-khan @peachysara @firesigns @postmoderncaricatures @horrormanga @iqraars @123dream @sunmisbf @avisachi @bengaligirlfriend @morksuns @czennie-on-top @markvibes @joppin @nyuly @shin-jiyoon @99lover @mithaai @chamelis @thefinalgirlz @nikolailantsovswifey @mehendi @yerification @oneustual @singinginthecar @yejiswife @lovedsoup @mangopickled and uhh tumblr’s not letting me annoy tag anymore ppl so if u wanna do this and ur not on the list (ur in my heart 💕 and in an ideal world where tumblr automatically tags all my mutuals 😑) u can say i tagged u if you’d like!! ^_^

[bts-teaspoonff]

Fangirl pt. 1

Genre: Romance, Slow Burn, Idol A/U

Pairing: BTS OT7 x reader

Rating: PG

Summary: Y/N, being a huge fangirl, finally got her chance to work alongside her favorite idol group as a backup dancer. She gets to know each member personally and realizes that her feelings may be more than fangirl-idol attraction.

Word Count: 3K

PARTS: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | .... masterlist

“It’s finally here!” I shouted as I bolted from my room towards the front door to greet the delivery man carrying my package. Even without looking at the mirror, I could feel my smile going up to my ears and my heartbeat furiously echoing through my chest. The delivery man handed me a medium sized box and stared at me as I reach out for the box with a huge smile plastered on my face. I signed the delivery form, closed the door and ran back inside my unit.

I ran to the living room and placed the box on the floor. I turned to my left and hurriedly rummaged for my cutter inside the drawer beside the sofa. I also took my phone on top of the said drawer and placed it on my lap. I swiftly sat down on the floor in front of my package with the cutter ready in my hand when I remembered something. I unlocked my phone and proceeded to video call my brother who’s at work. My brother’s name and his photo appeared on the screen as I wait for him to answer the call.

“Hey Y/N…” His face popped up on my screen. I silently giggled at the angle of his front camera when he answered the call. Not really flattering despite him being good looking. He must have placed the phone on a table directly below his face. “You know I’m at work right? Why did you call? Emergency?” I could hear keyboard sounds in the background. He must be busy typing on the computer as he didn’t bat an eye on his phone while talking to me.

“Yeah I know. I just wanted to share some good news” My camera is facing towards me with just my eyes peeking through screen. I was worried that maybe he’s with some people at work that might see me when he answers the video call and I’m not decent looking right now. “My package has arrived!” I low-key squealed as I pressed the ‘rotate camera’ button on the screen and directed the camera at the package. I could see my brother looking now at the phone. He placed his phone in front of him and leaned it on a stable surface for him to see me properly. He continued to type slowly on his keyboard as he steal glances on his phone screen.

“Don’t tell me…. You bought another merch?” He giggled as he looked at his phone screen and continued to type on his keyboard. He looked back at his computer screen after a second, with a smile on his face. I opened the package with my cutter on one hand and my phone on the other. Tearing through the tape, I can’t contain my excitement as i shrieked when my cutter got through the end of the tape. I released the cutter from my hand and pushed it aside.

“BTS Merch! Oh my god, I have been waiting for these for weeks. I got the latest album, more Tiny Tan figurines, and some concert goods from last tour.” I proceeded to open the box and showed my brother the contents. I felt accomplishment as I look at all the merchandise that has just arrived at home. My ARMY heart couldn’t contain the joy that I have right now. I shot my eyes back on the phone screen and saw my brother smiling as he looked at me through the phone screen.

“Hey, I’m happy you are happy but you know I work in Big Hit right? I work for them?” He stopped typing, took the phone back in his hands and brought the phone close to his face. “I could just easily buy these things for you with my employee discount.” And now his whole face is occupying my phone screen. 

“Jiyong, I know but where’s the fun in that? I want to buy these items using my own money. Well, an employee discount is nice but I don’t want to abuse your privilege as I buy too much of their merchandise.” I snorted at the fact that I really do buy too much of their merchandise. Besides, when I use his employee discount, the items are delivered directly to him as he works inside the Big Hit Building. With the amount of merchandise that I buy, I don’t want to embarrass him and label him as a big fanboy especially with him working so close to the boys.

“If you weren’t my twin sister, I would totally laugh at you. Not that I think you’re crazy but you’re…. loyal” He puts emphasis on the last word. He respects my deep profound respect for the 7 boys but he thinks that maybe I have gone too far with the purchases. He placed his phone back in front of him, leaning on a surface. “Oh before I forget, did you read my email?” I was taken aback with topic change but I’m used to it as he does this all the time. I pressed the ‘rotate camera’ button once again for him to see my face. 

“No, I haven’t opened my email yet. I went home so late last night. My last client in the gym arrived late so we finished late as well. A bummer.” I scoffed as I remembered the fatigue that enveloped my body yesterday. I work as a gym trainer/physical therapist full time and a dance teacher/choreographer as my sideline. I work at my friend’s gym located in the heart of Seoul as a gym trainer. I currently handle 7 clients, some who I have worked with for a few years already. I also teach dance classes at a small dance studio just a few blocks from where I live. Mainly, I handle BTS dance classes because duh, I am a full-blooded ARMY. I really tried to make my passion as a source of income and it warms my heart to see people having fun when I teach them those dances.

“Check it. Anyways, I gotta go. I still have a lot to do. As you know, the company is busy since BTS will be releasing another album sometime this year.” My brother currently works as a Recording Engineer in Big Hit. He used to brag to me that he’ll spend hours with BTS and TXT. I was jealous of course but I am so proud he’s working for them. Whenever I listen to songs from Big Hit artists, I try to think that he has contributed to a lot of songs despite not knowing what exact songs he has worked on. Another reason why I listen and support them.

We both said our farewells and dropped the call. As I took out all the contents of the package unto the floor, I used my phone on the other hand. I opened my mail and saw few unread emails. Some of them were from my subscriptions on Netflix and Spotify, which I barely read. On top of the list was my brother’s mail. I saw the subject “READ THIS FANGIRL!” and I laughed. Here I thought he sent me something urgent or important that needs my utmost attention. Must be another event or merchandise that they’ve yet to announce to the public.

I opened the mail and my eyes were glued to the first line of the message body.

“Big Hit is hiring backup dancers. See the forwarded email below, sis. I think they’re meaning to assign whoever they’ll hire as part of BTS dance team.” Did I just receive this email? It came from my brother so it must be true. He won’t prank me like that. If I apply, there’s no guarantee that I’ll be hired right? That’s too bad if I won’t be hired but there’s nothing to lose if I try to apply.

I left my package scattered throughout my floor and ran towards my laptop lying on my bed. I sat down on the floor beside my bed and opened my laptop. I felt like a kid but here I am, rushing to find my resume to apply for a new job that might eventually change my life.

….

It’s been a week since I applied as a backup dancer for Big Hit. I sent in my resume and a few videos of me dancing to some of their artists’ songs. I’m lucky to have known a lot of BTS’ songs and choreographies by heart and I might have tried to study some of their label mates’ songs as well. I haven’t received a reply back from them and I’m worried that I may not receive any response ever.

Apparently, BTS is known for having only male backup dancers as far as I know so it’s news to me that they’re hiring female backup dancers now. It got me thinking that this might also attract fellow fangirls like me to apply but knowing Big Hit, they wouldn’t want anything scandalous to happen just because they hired female backup dancers. I’m not saying that female dancers lack professionalism but how the boys are the top rank boy group in the country, female fans would be green with jealousy if they see female dancers dancing with them. Some Armies are really protective when it comes to the boys so it’s really shocking to hear that the company is finally considering this.

The day that I got the mail from my brother, I spent half of my day planning what dances to shoot and submit. I chose BTS’ Idol and Singularity, TXT’s Crown and a freestyle dance to Beyonce’s Yonce. I wanted to showcase my range in dancing by carefully choosing a variety of songs. I admit that the reason I may have applied to this job is partly because I’m a fangirl but nonetheless, my passion for dancing is bigger. I have been dancing since I was a kid but I was not this confident at the start. It’s hard to convince me to perform in front of a bigger audience, let alone a stadium full of fans. I slowly got over my fear little by little when I started teaching dance classes at the dance studio. The fear is still there and you may wonder why I am applying for this job when I’m scared shit in performing for a large audience. BTS taught me to love myself and I am really trying my best to go out of my comfort zone. I figured that this may be my best chance in doing so. Also, I get the benefit of working alongside them which is a big plus.

I couldn’t really focus on my job for the whole week. I find myself regularly checking my mail in the hopes of getting a response from Big Hit. 5 days and there’s still no mail. Maybe my email just went to their spam folder or maybe I typed in the wrong mail. On the 7th day while I was pulling out my clothes in the dryer, I heard a ping from my phone from across the hall. I left my phone on my bed and the laundry room is right beside my room. I noticed that the ping was my assigned tone for mails. I hurriedly took out all my warm dry clothes and unto the basket, closed the door of the dryer and turned the lights off in the laundry room.

“New Mail. Subject: Dance Team Application” I saw the notification banner and my heart just jumped out of my chest. I felt my forehead sweating profusely, fingers shaking and my throat closing up as I try to open my phone and check my mail. I silently and swiftly read the contents of the mail. After two seconds, I shrieked at the top of my lungs and threw my phone across my bed. I ran out of my room and in circles around the living room. Good thing I live alone so that I could just celebrate and make loud noises like this. I jumped up and down on the sofa while etching the image of the mail into my head. I buried my head on my pillows and shouted once more, emptying all the air out of my lungs.

I ran back into my room and read the mail again.

“Good day, Miss Y/N.

We have received your application and we are glad to say that we are impressed with your resume and skillset. We would like you to come in our office tomorrow so we can meet and talk personally with our dance team. We are glad to have you join our current dance team. Details of our meeting are expressed below.

Time: 10 am

Address: 42 Teheran-ro 108-gil, Daechi-dong, Gangnam-gu, Seoul, South Korea

Attire: Comfortable Casual

Please look for Mina at the front desk to escort you. Thank you.”

I still can’t believe what I’m seeing. Did I just got accepted? As a backup dancer? For Big Hit? Maybe for BTS? I’m such a lucky fangirl. I can’t wait for tomorrow.

….

It’s a good thing that my schedule is free today. I don’t have any clients in the gym scheduled for today and the dance studio is closed for today. I was so nervous and excited at the same time. I woke up at 6 am as I feel my jitters bothering my sleep. I tried to go back to sleep but I trashed the bed and rolled side to side for about 30 mins so I decided to go for a run. I turned on my Spotify and played my ‘Intense Run Playlist’ which mostly consists of high bpm BTS songs. There’s a jogging path near where I live and the scenery is filled with trees. Very calming, which I really need right now.

I arrived in front of the Big Hit Building around 8:30 am. I made sure to arrive early as I don’t want to be late for the meeting. I’m so anxious right now if I’m allowed to go up as early as 9 am or should I just arrived on time. I lingered outside and paced back and forth at a nearby shade. I wondered if I could visit my brother and stay with him for the mean time.

“Is she a stalker?” I heard whispers coming from my right as I slumped back at the pole where I’m taking shade just across the building. “That’s scary.” Three schoolgirls were standing a few meters away from me. They were staring and smirking at me. I wondered why they would think of me as such then I realized that I wore my hoodie up to cover half of my face.

“I’m not…”

“Good luck stalker-nim. You won’t get a glimpse of the boys.” They giggled and ogled me with judgmental looks with their arms across the chests. “Can you get away from the boys? We don’t want stalker armies like you.”

“As I said, I’m not a stalker and I’m older than you. Why are you talking to me in an informal tone?” I pull my hoodie off my head and slowly tread towards them. They laughed and ran away at the sight of me making my way to them. Sheesh, do I really look like a stalker?

I looked at my watch and it’s still 9:10 am. I guess I could try and visit my brother. The fresh morning air blew gently in my face, as if to welcome me, and be my merry playmate, and the sun looked at me with a warm and tender smile. What a nice start to my day, I thought. I put up my hoodie again and I was comfortable once more with the warmth my mere hoodie gave me.

“I have a meeting in your building today. Do you want to meet up? I’m not due until 10 am. – your adorable look alike” I texted my brother and inserted my phone back in my pocket. I breathed in the fresh breeze and not a second later, my phone pinged. I pulled out my phone to see my brother’s name on the screen.

“Lucky, I’m on a coffee break. I’ll be down in a sec.” he replied. A grin was present on my face as I stood up from where I was leaning. I skipped from across the street towards the building. I looked above at the sky and towards the top of the Big Hit Building and when I returned my gaze back in front of me, I was met by a dark haired man in his mid-twenties. I bumped into him and was knocked down at the side of the street. I exclaimed in pain as I rub my backside.

“Hey look where you’re go…” I looked up and immediately recognized the face. The man was wearing a grey Fear of God shirt paired with black baggy pants. His face was half covered by a black mask and his hair was kept away from his face with a black headband almost occupying his whole forehead.

“You should be the one watching you’re going. Crossing the street while prancing around like that.” He scoffed and continued to make his way towards the building. He didn’t even help me up. I sneered back.

“I’m sorry. I assure you that he’s not usually like this. He’s in a bad mood.” Two hands were suddenly around my elbows, propping me up from the ground. I turned my head and saw a woman around mid-twenties as well. She was carrying an opened big black bag propped on her right shoulder with filled with piles of unruly papers stuck inside. When I finally was able to stand up properly, she took off her hands from me and bowed in apology. She swiftly followed the man and shouted, “Yoongi, wait. I can explain.”

So I was right. It was Suga. All the images of a funny and loving Min Yoongi ran through my mind. Just like a scary movie, it was replaced by a disgusted look he shot at me a while ago. Did he…. Maybe he thought I was a stalker or something? I guess if I really looked like one then I don’t blame him for shooting those looks at me. However, a decent person would help anyone up in that situation.

I beat the dust off my hoodie and slowly treaded towards the building’s entrance. Not a really good way to start my first interaction with anyone from BTS, I thought.

Next part: 2