#BC THEYRE LITERALLY AN INTERNET TROLL. BUT ANYWAY TO GET TO THE ACTUAL POINT:

[boypussydilf]

i also had forgotten that katze Literally calls hajime a bitch. with the english word. that shouldnt be funny but it extremely is

[macklives]

homestuck recap

i hated this so fucking much bc my 2 am bitch-ass didnt want to read a recap thats probably longer than any slowburn out there

anyways here it is

also, uhhH sorry im using this as a end of session discussion bc that shit gets explained in her as well. and im not writing up more recaps of a recap so this is where im done for the day. (by done for the day i mean last nights session, im still doing a liveblog soon. i just wrote this yesterday)

also that this is long

you dont have to read it, theres nothing of importance

ive been coping with humor to get me through it

neato.

have fun with what i suffered through:

why was “beta” the only thing unhighlighted?

like did i miss a page???

OH its the beta version of HS thats why

damn its like 5 pages and thats it

mmh

well youll all be happy to know im clicking every single one of these links again bc i like looking back like ahh i remember that. good times. also in case i forgot some shit existed.

do you think andrew had fun writing this? or was he like “fuck”

thats a lot of fucking package talk. good thing im not confused as of now and remember it pretty clearly. of else, this early on in the recap, id be screwed.

god remember when i did an analysis on each item and what it did

i feel as if i have the technology engrained inside my head right now

cruxite, alchemeter, all that jazz

flashbacks are starting up already

yeah, that was the good part in homestuck where i knew 100% that i probably would continue on this liveblog in its entirety, ngl

that one explosion scene. bc it kept me going.

OH W A IT SHIT

i just realized how the intermission spades probably fucking foreshadowed the whole jack revolts thing and gains the ring, which was also technically JOHNS fault considering he slashed up the doll in the first place

my god, i guess thats the only good aspect of the recap. looking back at things and realizing the missing pieces.

oh that makes sense for the whole “this prototyping had no effect on the enemies, since he was already in the medium” i didnt actually think about that

little did rose know where that would get her right now

oh yeah

there’s still the whole entire lab terminal thing and how mom basically knows the place exists. i guess we’re still venturing onto that and itll come up later when we find out how mom knows SO MUCH about the game.

still think shes some weird spy or secret agent

i kinda love her ngl

anyways, theres literally no reason for skaia to produce a cloning machine. so technically, they only sent the meteors in, right? so who put the cloning machine in if not mom?

oh yeah that impact was nerve wrecking asf

and still at this point in the comic i called dave fuckboy red

huh, how times change

i hated reading that whole paragraph ngl, the frustration just kicked me in the boobs again

yeah nobody else got tornadoes, huh?

OH that makes also much more sense

bc she did prototyped them before she entered the medium.

i gotcha

man one of my favorite edits i made, rose hitting that meteor with a bat

are you

telling me

the exiles structures they arrived on were in the form of the items the kids used to enter the medium?

THE EGG

THAT EXPLAINS “EGG”

of course it was 413 years ago. that was never explained. simply vague “many years in the future....” but i expected no less from this

man serenity is the most wholesome character in hs no doubt

damn thought andy here was really gonna spoil us jade’s planet

okay cool, im glad i now have the layout to the whole “their stations went to the coordinates of the home button” shindig

man i honestly dont know what else to say besides “yeah cool recap” when i already pretty much know what went down? ofc im looking into each link and shit and adding in things when i see fit, but otherwise its just me going “ah good times” yknow

the whole meteor thing kinda makes sense now?

we’re still missing a few pieces of info but we’re getting there, folks

oh yeah that reveal

god jade and dave have it in the shits for parents huh

bro isnt the best and jade has a fucking dog

who lowkey

is doing better than bro

who knew a fucking dog is a better guardian than bro lmfao

dreambot = terminator. im telling you.

sorry im still on that idea and it will never leave unless i have the actual proof in front of me that its not going to become a thing. meaning, ive finished hs and theres still no terminator dreambot or either andrew himself gives me a canon letter with “the robot is not arnold, mackenzie, pls just let it be”

why is the entire game session highlighted

i swear to god if this is like to a second recap or smth of the whole game session i may fucking CRY

okay thank god its just a design of the skaia layout

which is honestly cool

idk why its blurry tho but i can at least see the layout now. which is honestly how i pictured it anyways.

yeah, john did make a huge impact in his friends’ life and i find that so fucking touching

yep. got that. everything loops around. cool.

especially when the trolls come in. god we havent even gotten to that recap portion yet, we havent even gotten to the INTERMISSION

pls can this be the halfway point to the recap

AT LEAST

so they were exiled after the whole jack: ascend thing, right? considering theyre way in the future. man no fucking wonder.

speaking of jack

man that whole dad and jack interaction was gold, ngl

OH THAT EXPLAINS THE RING THEN

and wow, andrew’s really giving us the best female content huh. andrew is the true god of equality and diversity.

also hey, i didnt realize that wow. so PM tricked the queen in showing the parking ticket to be able to take the present from jack. she’s a smart cookie, that one..

she and PM basically snitched on jack and it was the best thing that has happened to me so far

oh yeah okay

but why did AR panic over bec? bc thats something we havent learned yet, right?

anyways

exile town, the only town which should exist. facts. i dont make the rules.

noice

i love PM being queen. like.. thats canon now. shes an actual queen.

yeah that was a fun game and the consorts were cute

fuck yeah the dick head

hate them even more now that i know john was killed because of them

anyways, i wonder what dick move dave’s denizen did? maybe thats why its filled with lava bc the denizen was like “fuck it. make the land red. kill them all”

UH WHAT

WHAT

OH MY GOD HOW DID I JUST FORGET NANNAS LETTER LIKE THAT LMFAO

THEIR TITLES WERE THERE THE WHOLE TIME!

so i still dont know what they mean but i can gather it has something to do with the game giving them abilities. considering dave is the “knight of time” and he can go back in time. whack.

which means john can either control someones breathing or simply wind. and rose is... like that one girl in the winx club who does the sun shit. bc whenever i think of light powers, i think of stella.

and jade is space. witch of space.

nice

i have no idea what that means ngl

okay finally

we’re at the trolls

maybe this recap will end soon

i remember when i thought they were internet bullies

yesss

someone asked if i basically knew the trolls were on a different veil than the kids, so not presently with them, and i know lol. i was making a joke before btw. jsyk. dont think im incompetent to forget these things when sometimes i choose to forget it so i can add in a joke

it be like that, i annoy many

then again, pls dont assume im trying to say im not incompetent bc im also a fucking dumbass and DO forget shit and i have no excuse

imagine being so bored on the meteor, your last resort is speaking to aliens

ngl me if i was ever trapped on a meteor and could potentially do that

nah ik its bc its their only hope at helping with their session or whatever tf CG said to john. but there was BOUND to be a conference meeting between them like “okay guys. humans. that needs to be sorted out” and you just hear CG screaming in the background

i cant wait to meet them honestly bc im growing on all 4 of the ones we’ve seen already. and on top of that, i know what they look like and i know theyre not THAT bad, just a little on the crayy zee side sometimes

but theyre trying

OH MY GOD

I GET IT

FUCK

DOES THAT MEAN THE INTERMISSION IS *APART* OF THE MAIN FUCKING STORY??

AND SPADES IS WV FOR THE TROLLS

GOD D A M N

wow

i didnt expect that. but maybe the signs were there and i was just willingly choosing to ignore it or smth bc “haha couldnt be, right”

flashbacks to how i thought the trolls were humans

anyways, i guess he got his revenge on the kids version of “snowman” ie the black queen. but really

he did not have to do that. he could have cut off the finger and fled. but he decided “nah, lets implode her” so the loml is dead and all i got was a catchy song

i knew they were different types of “bullies” but now i just have to replace bullies with uhh

trolling strategies

anyways, this is cute. i love how they’ve come to be friends through mutual frustration. good part in the comic.

i wonder why it explodes

more importantly

....

terminator time?

this was my favourite sequences of dialogues in the whole entirety of homestuck. that is to say the back and forth thing that the kids went through to become a sort of wingman for the other.

absolutely gold.

all except AT’s rap.

GC was the only smart one with the linear shit

anyways fuck he still has to kill the denizen now but apparently its hard to beat for a sleeping dick head so

that will be fun for the future

john will probably need to kill A LOT of imps to get there

yeah rose is a badass bc she slayed that thing with needles of all things

OH and the white queen was the cursive

damn did AR ever do the whole guide process to a kid yet? maybe he will with dave, idk

oHHH

i fucking SEE

thats why he said DNA

to use it and replace all the life forms in the ocean

fucking neat wow

man that sounded sarcastic but im genuinely impressed bc all i got was bullshit as i read jaspersprites log

so thats the secret. it was “meow” bc that somehow translates to the genetic code she needs then. and that code apparently took fucking years to write as well. sick. whack. oh man.

derse is very pretty, ngl

and wow shit

“dave had already been awake in his tower all along without realizing it” how tf does someone just

do that, awake in both places at once

i didnt even fucking realize that fact as i read that pesterlog wow

ah yes, around the time things got confusing

okay so the capsule makes sense bc at first i didnt know it was a fucking time capsule so i got confused as to how it just apparated the game lmfao

the more you know i guess *twinkle*

i find that a neat concept tho

like the whole whatever you prototype affects the imps and shit

yeah so that whole “he had no advice” basically impacted his future

no shit dave wanted to reset things bc he probably thought he caused some sort of bad butterfly effect and killed his best friend

fuck calsprite thats all im gonna say

i read that first sentence and i think i got an aneurysm

and then everything else just made me sad again

i mean good thing he fucking did amirite?

we got pain at first but now we got cool shit like idk

fucking DAVESPRITE

damn idk how that works

will rose have like two minds now? or will this be some steven universe fusion shit?

“and understood their meaning” course well i fucking didnt so could you pls elaborate, rose?

okay but then what the fuck did he use that was inside the fucking box

bc i thought he used his knife?

im only every going to refer him as that now, thank you andrew

alright okay..

god that was a lot

i dont know what will happen once i click on those links but i am going to see that for myself bc i refuse to add ANYTHING ELSE

[ladytrollfishes]

The Story of Rebel Spies Catfishing Imperial Soldiers Over the Internet.

10 | PW(Jade) CD(Ceru) II(Anon)-11/29/2017

okay so well. it starts off with daginy, whose the rebel spy II anon

II being their handle initials

so anyway theyre like a pacifist rebel spy who cant stop wanting to help people. They're in the chat as Donlan, investigative journalist turned private researcher

and then there's the IPC trolls, particularly Vadaya and nanako whokind of admitted in chat that theyre psionic rebel hunters

Reba | ID (Maroon) UV ('Violet')-11/29/2017

}>:/ #ThanksNana

10 | PW(Jade) CD(Ceru) II(Anon)-11/29/2017

but before they figured that one out, daginy got messaged by nanako about an heiress that was being held prisoner, and they passed off to them 1 suspiciously well researched document with possible rebel connections

Reba | ID (Maroon) UV ('Violet')-11/29/2017

Also IPC = Imperial Psionic Corps. Big scary psionic soldiers who beat up rebels and eat them for breakfast.

10 | PW(Jade) CD(Ceru) II(Anon)-11/29/2017

and then daginy went into full IM INNOCENT mode

10 | PW(Jade) CD(Ceru) II(Anon)-11/29/2017

and tried to cover their tracks

as best as they could. Fast forward some time, daginy gets caught by scary imps, and after theyre rescued and theyve got a lot of recovery time. so theyre like

imma see what i can get out of these imps

Daginy comes up with lannia, a simpering teal librarian with a specialty in historic architecture and an interest in the mirthful messiahs, specificially to bother vadaya

see what he's made of

Cloud | inkedWhimsy-11/29/2017

spoilers: he was not made of information

10 | PW(Jade) CD(Ceru) II(Anon)-11/29/2017

he was not

Reba | ID (Maroon) UV ('Violet')-11/29/2017

He was made of 'Stop talking to me'.

Cloud | inkedWhimsy-11/29/2017

he was made of a good strong fear of a scientifically engineered justifiable homicide annoyance.

10 | PW(Jade) CD(Ceru) II(Anon)-11/29/2017

anyway there was a bunch of shenanigans where lannia had a "crush" on vadaya,10 | PW(Jade) CD(Ceru) II(Anon)-11/29/2017

nanako and h er friend tomie got to grill tf out of lannia for being a terrible person, orivar fucking hated lannia with a loathing that kind of out weighed anything lannia actually did but

also lannia was soooooo

sooooooooooo annoying

and herlyn joined the fray essentially bc she was wondering what daginy was getting up to, logged onto the chat and was like

lol mfer what are you doing go to bed you need to rest

and daginy was like

IM DOING SOMETHING HERE

and herlyn was like well i'll be your fake moirail and help you sell the whole schtick

and also i can tell you to go to bed when youre getting carried away and daginy was like

uggh fine

and so herlyn became lynner, and lannia <> lynner became a thing

this is really quite a tale tbh

10 | PW(Jade) CD(Ceru) II(Anon)-11/29/2017

so herlyn fucked up kinda bad on 2 points here on the catfishing, one of which was legit like.just fucking telling sipara who she was like

HI

which clued hadean in because he was reading over her shoulder or something

and the second point was that herlyn ended up being an incredibly awful moirail to fake lannia

partially bc herlyn thought lannia was terrible and lowkey hated herbc daginy can fake much better than she canso things became incredibly apparent that the "moraillagence" between lannia and lynner was pretty toxic and bad

cue daginy face palming everywhere bc the goal was not to have their fake relationship drama be the focus of literally anything

also pheres had a bet with his matesprit, Emerel, on who could get a moirail first, and pheres decided lannia would be good candidate

so pheres starts nosing into the relationship, dropping hints on lynner's ability to be a proper moirail to lannia, and fucking just

served as the catalyst for a real break up "real" break up

there was a drag out knock down moirail fight in gen chat

daginy and herlyn sitting next to each other and telling each other whats going on so they dont contradict each other

anyway so after that happened, lannia's been dropping hints about how all her coworkers hate her guts for like months

then she says that shes found out theyre a cult of sufferists, says shes stalking them, disappears for like three months, and then lynner shows up after also three months like

anyone's seen lannia? :/ we parted on bad terms but she texted me saying there were rebels building bombs in her basement

and "liveblogged" her break into lannia's "hive"accompanied with visuals thanks to daginy's light bending illusion psi

lynner finds lannia's dead body in the basement, and when she gets back out, the hive gets set on fire, and then people are following lynner, and she says she's shot and then

stops responding forever

10 | PW(Jade) CD(Ceru) II(Anon)-11/29/2017

in response to this, the IPC trolls got to neuja city, where all this stuff was supposed to take place, and the rebels slap a tracker on vadaya's ship

and the ipc gets to be very confused

bc there's a real lannia at the library she claimed to work at but she's well respected by her collegues and somewhat severe

and also alive

but yeah! that's the "rebel catfishing imperial psionic as a fake librarian" story

Reba | ID (Maroon) UV ('Violet')-11/29/2017

Vadaya was, and is still, not happy.

10 | PW(Jade) CD(Ceru) II(Anon)-11/29/2017

and this is why herlyn's banned from future catfishing attempts