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imagekeepr · 5 years ago

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funny and fake names

this list of fake names was compiled for humor. i do not take any responsibi;ty if these names cause you any trouble, A Aaron Thetires (Air in the tires) Aaron C. Reskew (Air & sea rescue) Abe Rudder (Hey brother) Achilles Punks (I'll kill these punks) Adam Bomb (Atom bomb) Adam Meway (Out of my way) Adam Sapple (Adam's apple) Adolf Oliver Nipples (Ate off all of her nipples) Ahmed Adoodie (I made a doodie - from The Simpsons) Al B. Zienya (I'll be seeing you) Al Beback (I'll be back) Al DePantzeu (I'll de-pants you) Al E. Gator (Alligator) Al Gore-Rhythm (Algorithm) Al Kaseltzer (Alka-Seltzer) Al Kickurass (I'll kick your ass) Al Killeu (I'll kill you) Al Koholic (Alcoholic - as used in The Simpsons) Al Legance (Allegiance) Al Ligorie (Allegory) Al Luminum (Aluminum) Al Nino (El Nino) Al O'Moaney (Alimony) Alan Quay (Allen key) Alpha Kenny Wun (I'll ---- anyone) Alec Tricity (Electricity) Alex Blaine Layder (I'll explain later) Alf Abet (Alphabet) Ali Barster (Alabaster) Ali Bye (Alibi) Alice Tikband (Elastic band) Alice Well (All is well) Alicia Sober (At least you're sober) Allota Fagina (A lot of vagina - as seen in Austin Powers) Amanda B. Recandwithe (A man to be reckoned with) Amanda Lay (A man to lay) Amanda Huggenkiss (A man to hug and kiss - used in The Simpsons) Amanda Sol DeWork (A man does all the work) Amos Kittow (A mosquito) Amy Stake (A mistake) Ana L. Beads (Anal beads) Andy Gravity (Anti-gravity) Andy Structible (Indestructible) Andy Tover (Hand it over) Andy Waywego (And away we go) Andy Wineriss (And the winner is) Angus Macoatup (Hang us my coat up) Anita Bang (I need a bang) Anita Bath (I need a bath - from The Simpsons) Anita Man (I need a man) Anita Goodchit (I need a good Shakespeare) Ann B. Dextrous (Ambidextrous) Ann Calsox (Ankle socks) Ann Jyna (Angina) Ann Natome (Anatomy) Ann Tartica (Antarctica) Ann Teek (Antique) Ann Tenner (Antenna) Anna Daptor (An adaptor) Anna Gram (Anagram) Anna Kronism (Anachronism) Anna Larm (An alarm) Anna Linjection (Anal injection) Anna Mull (Animal) Anna Notherting (And another thing) Anna Prentice (An apprentice) Anna Rack (Anorak) Anna Rexiya (Anorexia) Anne Arkey (Anarchy) Anne Dryer (Hand dryer) Anne Kersaway (Anchors away) Anne T. Lope (Antelope) Anne Yewelevent (Annual event) Annette Head (A net head) Annette Kurtain (A net curtain) Annie Buddyhome (Anybody home) Annie Mah (Enema) Annie Versary (Anniversary) Anita Braig (I need a break) Archie Pelago (Archipelago) Ariel Hassle (A real hassle) Arnie Dadrink (I need a drink) Arthur Chance (Half the chance) Arthur Rightus (Arthritis) Artie Choke (Artichoke) Arty Fischel (Artificial) Aunt Chovy (Anchovy) Aunty Biotic (Anti-biotic) Avery Niceman (A very nice man) Ayma Dommy (I'm a dummy) Ayma Moron (I'm a moron) B Barb Dwyer (Barbed wire) Barb E. Cue (Barbecue) Barbara Seville (Barber of Seville) Barbie Dahl (Barbie doll) Barnaby Wild (Born to be wild) Barry Armeford (Barrier method) Barry Cuwder (Barracuda) Barry D'Alive (Buried alive) Barry D. Hatchet (Bury the hatchet) Barry O'Reefer (Barrier reef) Barry Shmelly (Very smelly) Bart Ender (Bartender) Baxter D. Wall (Backs to the wall) Bea O'Problem (B.O. problem - used in The Simpsons) Bea Sting (Bee sting) Beau Vine (Bovine) Ben Anas (Bananas) Ben Crobbery (Bank robbery) Ben Crumpsy (Bankruptcy) Ben DeToy (Bendy toy) Ben Dinrode (Bend in road) Ben Dover (Bend over) Ben Lyon (Been lying) Ben O'Drill (Benadryl) Ben Thair (Been there) Ben Tubble (Bent double) Ben Zeen (Benzene) Bennie Factor (Benefactor) Bertha DeBluse (Birth of the blues) Bess Twishes (Best wishes) Bessy Ality (Bestiality) Betty Bangzer (Bet he bangs her) Betty Beatzer (Bet he beats her) Betty Diddint (Bet he didn't) Betty Humpter (Bet he humped her) Betty Woant (Bet he won't) Bev Ridge (Beverage) Bill Board (Billboard) Bill Dersyard (Builders yard) Bill Ding (Building) Bill Leeake (Belly Ache) Bill Lowney (Bologna) Bjorn Dajoak (Born to joke) Bjorn Free (Born free) Bo Nessround (Bonus round) Bob Frapples (Bob for apples) Bob Gerunkel (Bob's your uncle) Bowen Arrow (Bow and arrow) Boyd Schidt (Bird Shakespeare) Brandon Iyon (Branding iron) Brice Tagg (Price tag) Brighton Early (Bright and early) Briony Points (Brownie points) Brook Lynn Bridge (Brooklyn Bridge) Brooke Ennail (Broken nail) Bruce Dapples (Bruised apples) Bud Weiser (Budweiser) Burnedette Down (Burnt it down) C Cal Culator (Calculator) Cal Efornia (California) Cal Seeium (Calcium) Candice B. DePlace (Can this be the place) Candice B. Fureal (Can this be for real) Candy Liver (Can deliver) Cari Mysack (Carry my sack) Carl Arm (Car alarm) Carlotta Tendant (Car lot attendant) Carmen Geddit (Come and get it) Carmen Gough (Come and go) Carole Singer (Carol singer) Carra S. Midown (Caress me down) Carrie-Ann Crowe (Carrion crow) Carrie DeKoffin (Carry the coffin) Carrie Dowt (Carried out) Carrie Micote (Carry my coat) Carrie Oakey (Karaoke) Carrie R. Bags (Carrier bags) Carrie Smattick (Charismatic) Carson O. Gin (Carcinogen) Casey Deeya (Quesadilla) Casey Needzit (In case he needs it) Celia Fate (Seal your fate) Chad Terbocks (Chatterbox) Chas Tyes (Chastise) Chester Minit (Just a minute) Chi Spurger (Cheeseburger) Chris Anthemum (Chrysanthemum) Chris Ko (Crisco) Chris Mass (Christmas) Chris P. Bacon (Crispy bacon) Chris P. Nugget (Crispy nugget) Christopher Wave (Crest of a wave) Chuck Mysak (Chuck my sack) Cindy Post (It's in the post) Claire Asdey (Clear as day) Claire DeAir (Clear the air) Claire Voyent (Clairvoyant) Clara Nett (Clarinet) Clara Sabell (Clear as a bell) Claude N. Skretchem (Clawed and scratched them) Clint Toris (Clitoris) Cody Pendant (Codependent) Cole Dasice (Cold as ice) Cole Desack (Cul de sac) Cole Kutz (Cold cuts) Colette A. Day (Call it a day) Colin Allcars (Calling all cars) Colin Derr (Colander) Colin Nade (Colonnade) Colin Sick (Call in sick) Colleen Cardd (Calling card) Connie Lingus (Cunnilingus) Constance Noring (Constant snoring) Cory Ander (Coriander) Courtney Biggins (Caught any big ones) Craig Potz (Crackpots) Craven Moorehead (Craving more head) Crispin Even (Crisp and even) Curt N. Rodd (Curtain rod) Curt Zee (Curtsy) Curtis E. Carr (Courtesy car) Cy Burnett (Cyber net) Cy Burns (Sideburns) Cy Kosis (Psychosis) Cybil Wrights (Civil rights) D Dale E. Bread (Daily bread) Dan D. Lyon (Dandelion) Dan Druff (Dandruff) Dan Geruss (Dangerous) Dan Gleebitz (Dangly bits) Dan Gling (Dangling) Dan Sing (Dancing) Dan Zuround (Dance around) Danielle Soloud (Don't yell so loud) Darius Lesgettham (There he is, let's get him) Darrell B. Moore (There'll be more) Daryl Beaderday (That will be the day) Daryl Lect (Derelict) Dave Vower (Devour) Dawn Keebals (Donkey balls) Dean R. Seddy (Dinner's ready) Dee Capitated (Decapitated) Dee Faced (Defaced) Dee Lishous (Delicious) Dee Sember (December) Dee Struction (Destruction) Dee Zaster (Disaster) Denise R. Knockin (The knees are knocking) Denise R. Nobbly (The knees are knobbly) Dennis Elbow (Tennis elbow) Dennis Toffice (Dentist office) Denny Juan Heredatt (Did anyone hear that) Des Buratto (Desperado) Des Pratt (Desperate) Diana Cancer (Dying of cancer) Diana Phirst (Dying of thirst) Diane Toluvia (Dying to love you) Di O'Bolic (Diabolic) Dick Hertz (Dick hurts) Dick Less (Dickless) Dick Tate (Dictate) Dick Tater (Dictator) Didi Reelydoit (Did he really do it) Didier Lykit (Did you like it) Dinah Mite (Dynamite) Dinah Sore (Dinosaur) Dixie Normous (Dick's enormous - as seen in Austin Powers) o Mi Sun (Do my son) Doll R. Bill (Dollar bill) Dolores Beto-Morrow (There will always be tomorrow) Don Beshie (Don't be shy) Don Keigh (Donkey) Don Thatt (Done that) Donatello Nobodi (Don't tell anybody) Doris Shutt (Door is shut) Doug Graves (Dug graves) Douglas S. Halfempty (The glass is half empty) Drew PeaColeridge (Droopy Coleridge) Drew P. Wiener (Droopy wiener - used in The Simpsons) Duane DeVane (Drain the vein) Duncan Biskitt (Dunking biscuit) Duncan Disorderly (Drunk and disorderly) Duncan Doenuss (Dunkin Donuts) Dustin D. Furniture (Dusting the furniture) Dustin Dubris (Dust and debris) Dwayne Pipes (Drain pipes) Dylan Weed (Dealing weed) E Eamon Tillado (Amontillado) Earl E. Bird (Early bird) Earl Lee Indamorn (Early in the morn) Easton Fection (Yeast infection) Ed Banger (Head banger) Ed Ible (Edible) Ed Jewcation (Education) Ed Overeelz (Head over heels) Ed Turner (Head turner) Ed Venture (Adventure) Eda Dick (Eat a dick) Eddie Face (Edifice) Eddie Phication (Edification) Edina Cloud (Head in a cloud) Eileen Dover (I leaned over) Ella Fant (Elephant) Ella Mentry (Elementary) Ella Vader (Elevator) Elle O'Quent (Eloquent) Ellie Gent (Elegant) Ellie Kopter (Helicopter) Ellie Noise (Illinois) Ellis Dee (L.S.D.) Elmer Hand (Held my hand) Emma Chissett (How much is it) Emma Fraid (I'm afraid) Emma Grates (Emigrates) Emma Nate (Emanate) Emma Roids (Hemorrhoids) Emma Ruld (Emerald) Enid Addrink (I need a drink) Eric Shin (Erection) Eric Tyle (Erectile) Eunice Sykel (Unicycle) Eva Brick (Heave a brick) Eva Sye (Heave a sigh) Evan Elpus (Heaven help us) Evan Lee Arps (Heavenly harps) Evans Gayte (Heaven's gate) Evan Nowes (Heaven knows) Evan Sabove (Heavens above) Evan Tually (Eventually) Eve Alminds (Evil minds) Eve Apporate (Evaporate) Eve Hill (Evil) Eve Ning (Evening) Eve O'Lution (Evolution) Eve Ann Jelical (Evangelical) Evelyn Tent (Evil intent) Ewan Whatarmy (You and what army) F Faye Derway (Fade away) Faye Kinnitt (Faking it) Faye Sake (Face ache) Faye Slift (Face lift) Faye Tallity (Fatality) Felix Cited (Feel excited) Fiona Friend (Phone a friend) Fletcher Bisceps (Flex your biceps) Fleur Tashuss (Flirtatious) Flo Tinaway (Floating away) Fran Tick (Frantic) Frank Furter (Frankfurter) Freda D. Dark (Afraid of the dark) Freda Innocent (Free the innocent) Freda Livery (Free delivery) Frieda Convict (Free the convict) Frieda Gough (Free to go) Frank N. Stein (Frankenstein) G Gabe Barr (Gay bar) Gary Oakie (Karaoke) Gene E. Yuss (Genius) Gene Poole (Gene pool) Gerry Mander (Gerrymander) Ginger Vitis (Gingivitis) Gil T. Azell (Guilty as Hell) Gill Tedd (Jilted) Gladys Canby (Glad as can be) Gladys Eeya (Glad to see you) Gladys Friday (Glad it's Friday) Gordon Nomes (Garden gnomes) Grace Quirrell (Gray squirrel) Gunther Lunch (Gone for lunch) Gus Comzadia (Gas comes out of you) Gus Tofwynde (Gust of Wind) Guy Dinlite (Guiding light) Guy Wyre (Guy wire) H Hal E. Luya (Hallelujah) Hal Seyan (Halcyon) Hammond Eggs (Ham and eggs) Hank E. Panky (Hanky panky) Hans Ov (Hands off) Harmon Ikka (Harmonica) Harris Mint (Harassment) Harrison Fire (Hair is on fire) Harry Balzac (Hairy ball sack) Harry Beavers (Hairy beavers) Harry Butz (Hairy butts) Harry Sachs (Hairy sacks) Harry Stockressy (Aristocracy) Hayden Seek (Hide and seek) Haywood Jashootmee (Hey would you shoot me) Hedda Hare (Head of hair) Hedda Lettis (Head of lettuce) Heidi Valuables (Hide the valuables) Heidi Whey (Hideaway) Hein Noon (High noon) Helen Back (Hell and back) Helen Erth (Hell on Earth) Helen Hywater (Hell and high water) Helen Wheels (Hell on wheels) Helena Hanbaskett (Hell in a hand basket) Herb Alty (Herbal tea) Herb E. Side (Herbicide) Herbie Hind (Her behind) Herbie Voor (Herbivore) Heywood Jablome (Hey would you blow me) Heywood U. Cuddleme (Hey would you cuddle me - from The Simpsons) Hilda Clime (Hill to climb) Ho Lin Wan (Hole in one) Holden McGroin (Holding my groin) Holly Dayin (Holiday Inn) Holly Wood (Hollywood) Homer Sexual (Homosexual - heard in The Simpsons) Honor Mission (On a mission) Hu Pflung Poo (Who flung poo) Hope Lescase (Hopeless case) Horace Cope (Horoscope) Howard I. No (How would I know) Howe D. Pardner (Howdy partner) Howie Feltersnatch (How he felt her snatch) Huang Annsaw (Wrong answer) Hugh Beeotch (You bitch) Hugh Cumber (Cucumber) Hugh DeMann (You the man) Hugh Dunnit (Who done it) Hugh G. Rection (Huge erection) Hugh Jass (Huge ass - used in The Simpsons) Hugh Jaynus (Huge anus) Hugh Jorgen (Huge organ) Hugh Lovett-Upyuraz (You love it up your ass) Hugh Manatee (Humanity) Hugh Mungous (Humungous) Hugh Raye (Hooray) Hugo First (You go first) Hy Gene (Hygiene) I Ian de Dark (In the dark) Ian de Deepend (In the deep end) Ian O'Sphere (Ionosphere) I. C. Wiener (Icy wiener - used in The Simpsons and Futurama) I. C. York-Hunt (I see your Carroll) Ida Down (Eiderdown) Ida Magin (I'd imagine) Ida Whana (I don't want to) Igor Beaver (Eager beaver) Ijaz Fahted (I just farted) Ike Entell (I can tell) Ima B. Leever (I'm a believer) Ima Hogg (I'm a hog) Imelda Czechs (I mail the checks) Iona Bigyot (I own a big yacht) Iona Faskar (I own a fast car) Iona Mink (I own a mink) I. P. Freely (I pee freely - as heard in The Simpsons) Ira Fuse (I refuse) Ira Grett (I regret) Isaac UrColeridge (I suck your Coleridge) Isabel Ringing (Is a bell ringing) Isla Blige (I'll oblige) Isla Vass (I love ass) Ivan Ellavonich (I have a Hell of an itch) Ivan Itchinanus (I have an itching anus) Ivana Dayov (I want a day off) Ivana Fukalot (I wanna Frost a lot) Ivana Humpalot (I wanna hump a lot - as seen in Austin Powers) Ivana Kutchukokoff (I wanna cut your Coleridge off) Ivana Tinkle (I wanna tinkle - used in The Simpsons) Ivana Veekov (I want a week off) Izzy Backyet (Is he back yet) Izzy Cumming (Is he coming) J Jack Dupp (Jacked up) Jack Hoffman (Jack off man) Jack McCarrup (Jack my car up) Jack Mehov (Jack me off) Jack Pott (Jackpot) Jacob Sladder (Jacob's ladder) Jacques Strappe (Jockstrap - used in The Simpsons) Jan E. Torr (Janitor) Jan U. Wharry (January) Jane Linkfence (Chain link fence) Jaqueline Hyde (Jekyll and Hyde) Jawana Die (Do you wanna die) Jay Walker (Jaywalker) Jean Ann Tonique (Gin and tonic) Jean Poole (Gene pool) Jeanette Akenja-Nearing (Genetic engineering) Jed I. Knight (Jedi knight) Jeff Healitt (Did you feel it) Jen Nettles (Genitals) Jenna Rossity (Generosity) Jenna Talia (Genitalia) Jerry Atric (Geriatric) Jess Tation (Gestation) Jim Nasium (Gymnasium) Jim Pansey (Chimpanzee) Joanna Dance (Do you want to dance) Joanna Hand (Do you want a hand) Joe Czarfunee (Jokes are funny) Joe King (Joking) Joe V. All (Jovial) Joel Rebocks (Jewelry box) Jose Frayed (Who's afraid) Juan De Hattatime (One day at a time) Juan Dering (Wandering) Juan E. Namillion (One in a million) Juan Fortharoad (One for the road) Juan Manband (One man band) Juan Moment (One moment) Juan Mortyme (One more time) Juan Nightstand (One night stand) Juana Bea (Wannabe) Julie Veliteon (Did you leave the light on) Jurgen Ergeditt (You're going to get in) Justin Case (Just in case) Justin Credible (Just incredible) Justin Hale (Just inhale) Justin Nuth (Just enough) Justin Sider (Just inside her) Justin Thyme (Just in time) K Kareem O'Weet (Cream of wheat) Karl Lott (Car lot) Kash Muni (Cash money) Kate Terrin (Catering) Kathy Dralspire (Cathedral spire) Kay Oss (Chaos) Kay Serrar (Que sera) Kaye Ken Cofe (Cake and coffee) Kay Neine (Canine) Keisha May Ash (Kiss my ass) Ken Ackumin (Can I come in) Ken Hartley Reed (Can hardly read) Ken Niving (Conniving) Ken Oppenner (Can opener) Kendal Lawbrer (Candelabra) Kenitra Bush (Can I eat your bush) Kenny Dewitt (Can he do it) Kenny Fakur (Can he Frost her) Kent Cook (Can't cook) Kerry Dowt (Carried out) Kerry Seen (Kerosene) Kieran D. Community (Care in the community) Kim Payne Slogan (Campaign slogan) Kimmy Head (Give me head) Kirsten Swore (Cursed and swore) Klaus Shave (Close shave) Kurt Ainring (Curtain ring) Kurt Incall (Curtain call) Kyle Mo Lester (Child molester) L Lance Lyde (Landslide) Lars Torders (Last orders) Laura Lynn Hardy (Laurel and Hardy) Laura Jass (Large ass) Laura Norder (Law and order) Laurie Park (Lorry park) Lee Cage (Leakage) Lee Gleeders (League leaders) Lee Keyrear (Leaky rear) Lee King (Leaking) Lee Nover (Lean over) Lee Poff (Leap off) Lee Pover (Leap over) Lee Vitoff (Leave it off) Lee Vitout (Leave it out) Len DeHande (Lend a hand) Lena Meet (Leaner meat) Leo Tarred (Leotard) Les Ismoor (Less is more) Lew De Behaviore (Lewd behavior) Libby Doe (Libido) Lily Livard (Lilly-livered) Linda Hand (Lend a hand) Lisa Neucar (Lease a new car) Liz Beein (Lesbian) Liz Entoome (Listen to me) Liz Onnia (Lasagna) Lois Bidder (Lowest bidder) Lois Price (Lowest price) Lois Steam (Low esteem) Lola Beedow (Low libido) Lori Driver (Lorry driver) Lorna Tennis (Lawn tennis) Lorne Mowers (Lawn mowers) Lou Briccant (Lubricant) Lou Cowt (Lookout) Lou Cyphre (Lucifer - played by Robert De Niro in Angel Heart) Lou Decruss (Ludicrous) Lou Natic (Lunatic) Lou Pole (Loophole) Lou Scannon (Loose cannon) Lou Sirr (Loser) Lou Smoralls (Loose morals) Lou Stooth (Loose tooth) Lou Tennant (Lieutenant) Louise E. Anna (Louisiana) Lowden Clear (Loud and clear) Lucy Lastic (Loose elastic) Luke Adamgo (Look at him go) Luke Admadick (Look at my dick) Luke Atmyass (Look at my ass) Luke Over (Look over) Luna Tick (Lunatic) Lwellan Dowd (You well endowed) Lydia Bin (Lid of your bin) Lyle Ike Adogg (Lie like a dog) Lynn C. Dole (Linseed oil) Lynn Guini (Linguini) Lynn Meabuck (Lend me a buck) M Mabel Syrup (Maple syrup) Madame Crotch (My damn crotch) Maddi Gascar (Madagascar) Madge Ority (Majority) Madka Owdiseez (Mad cow disease) Major Jump (Made you jump) Major Lee Gay (Majorly gay) Major Luke Twice (Made you look twice) Mal Adjusted (Maladjusted) Mal Twiskie (Malt whiskey) Mal Odruss (Malodorous) Malcolm Tent (Malcontent) Mand Lynne (Mandolin) Mandy Lifeboats (Man the lifeboats) Manuel Labor (Manual labor) Marcus Abscent (Mark us absent) Marge Innastraightline (March in a straight line) Marge Noferror (Margin of error) Marian Furlove (Marrying for love) Marian Furmunny (Marrying for money) Marian Haste (Marry in haste) Marion Money (Marrying money) Marius Quick (Marry us quick) Mark Mywords (Mark my words) Mark Smann (Marksman) Mark Z. Spot (Mark the spot) Marsha Dimes (March of Dimes) Marsha Mallow (Marshmallow) Martha Fokker (mother-Froster) Mary Christmas (Merry Christmas) Mary Gold (Marigold) Mary Ott (Marriot) Mary Thonn (Marathon) Mary Torrius (Meritorious) Mary Wana (Marijuana) Master Bating (Masturbating) Matt Ress (Mattress) Matt Schtick (Matchstick) Matt Tromeny (Matrimony) Matt Trustain (Mattress stain) Maude Yuller (Modular) Maureen Clined (More inclined) Maureen Portantly (More importantly) Maureen Tresting (More interesting) Max E. Mumm (Maximum) Max E. Pad (Maxipad) May B. Dunn (May be done) May Elman (Mailman) May I. Tutchem (May I touch them) May O'Nays (Mayonnaise) Maya Buttreeks (My butt reeks - from The Simpsons) Maya Magination (My imagination) Maya Normousbutt (My enormous butt - from The Simpsons) Megan Bacon (Making bacon or egg and bacon) Mel Lowe (Mellow) Mel N. Colly (Melancholy) Mel O'Dramer (Melodrama) Mel Practiss (Malpractice) Mel Tingpot (Melting pot) Melissa Tothis (Ma listen to this) Michael Toris (My clitoris) Michelle Lynn (Michelin) Mick Stubbles (Mixed doubles) Mick Stup (Mixed up) Mick Zupps (Mix ups) Midas Well (Might as well) Mike Hawk (My Coleridge) Mike Hunt (My Carroll) Mike Litteriss (My clitoris) Mike Ockhurts (My Coleridge hurts) Mike Ocksmall (My Coleridge's small) Mike Oxlong (My Coleridge's long) Mike Rohsopht (Microsoft) Mike Rotch (My crotch - from The Simpsons) Mike Rotchburns (My crotch burns) Mike Rowave (Microwave) Mike Rufone (Microphone) Mike Yermindup (Make your mind up) Miles A. Head (Miles ahead) Miles Prower (Miles per hour) Milly Meter (Millimeter) Milly Terry (Military) Minnie Mumwage (Minimum wage) Minnie Skurt (Miniskirt) Minnie Stree (Ministry) Miss Alanius (Miscellaneous) Miss Bea Haven (Misbehaving) Miss L. Tow (Mistletoe) Miss T. Eyes (Misty eyes) Miss Terri Novelle (Mystery novel) Miss U. Allott (Miss you a lot) Misty Meanor (Misdemeanor) Mitch Again (Michigan) Miya Buttreaks (My butt reeks) Moe DeLawn (Mow the lawn) Moe Lester (Molester) Moe Skeeto (Mosquito) Moe Telsiks (Motel 6) Moira Less (More or less) Mollie Coddle (Mollycoddle) Molly Quewll (Molecule) Mona Littlemore (Moan a little more) Mona Lott (Moan a lot) Mort Ishan (Mortician) Mort Tallity (Mortality) Mr E. Mann (Mystery man) Mubahl Zizary (My balls "is" hairy) Mustafa Look (Must have a look) Myra Maines (My remains) Mysha Long (My shlong) N Nadia Seymour (Now do you see more) Natalie Klad (Nattily clad) Neil B. Forme (Kneel before me) Neil Downe (Kneel down) Neil Efare (Nearly there) Neil Sonweels (Meals on wheels) Nesta Vipas (Nest of vipers) Neve Adda (Nevada) Nick L. Andime (Nickel and dime) Nick O'Teen (Nicotine) Nick Ovtime (Nick of time) Nick Rofilia (Necrophilia) Nida Lyte (Need a light) Noah Count (No account) Noah Vale (No avail) Noah Zark (Noah's ark) Nora Bone (Gnaw a bone) Norma Stitz (Enormous tits) O Olav Myfriendsaregay (All of my friends are gay - from The Simpsons) Oliver Bush (I love her bush) Oliver Clothesoff (All of her clothes off - from The Simpsons) Oliver DaPlaz (All over the place) Oliver Sudden (All of a sudden) Ollie Churpuzzi (I'll eat your Poe) Ollie Tabooger (I'll eat a booger - from The Simpsons) Ophelia Pane (I feel your pain) Ophelia Titsoff (I'll feel your tits off) Opie Umsbad (Opium's bad) Orla Nophin (All or nothing) Orson Cart (Horse and cart) Orson Ounds (Horse and hounds) Otto B. Kilt (Ought to be killed) Otto Matik (Automatic) Owen Monie (Owing money) P Paige Turner (Page turner) Pam Purd (Pampered) Pandora Spocks (Pandora's box) Pat Mebutt (Pat my butt) Pat Taytow (Potato) Pat Tranage (Patronage) Patty O'Furniture (Patio furniture) Paul Bearer (Pallbearer) Paul MyColeridge (Pull my Coleridge) Pearl E. Gates (Pearly gates) Penny Foram (Penny for them) Penny Less (Penniless) Penny Sillen (Penicillin) Peppy Roni (Pepperoni) Percy Cute (Persecute) Percy Veer (Persevere) Perry Dice (Paradise) Perry Docks (Paradox) Perry Scope (Periscope) Perry Shute (Parachute) Perry Winckel (Periwinkle) Pete Zahutt (Pizza Hut) Pete Zaria (Pizzeria) Peter Pantz (Peed her pants) Phil Atio (Fellatio) Phil Anders (Philanders) Phil Itafiche (Filet of fish) Phil Maglossop (Fill my glass up) Phil Maweeney (Feel my weenie) Phil McCracken (Fill my crack in) Phil MeBrest (Feel my breast) Phil Mianus (Fill my anus) Phil Officer (Philosopher) Philip Eno (Filipino) Philippa Bucket (Fill up a bucket) Phyllis Sofickle (Philosophical) Phyllis Stein (Philistine) Phyuck Yiu (Frost you) P. I. Staker (Piss-taker) Polly C. Holder (Policy holder) Poppy Cox (PoppyColeridge) Pyuck Meei (Frost me) Q Quimby Ingmeen (Quit being mean) Quinn T. Senshall (Quintessential) Quinton Chingme (Quit touching me) Quinton Plates (Contemplates) R R. Soul (Arsehole) Rachel DeScrimination (Racial discrimination) Randy Holeweigh (Ran the whole way) Ray Deator (Radiator) Ray Kupleeves (Rake up leaves) Ray Ling (Railing) Ray N. Carnation (Reincarnation) Ray Neday (Rainy day) Ray Pugh (Rape you) Ray Scarr (Racecar) Ray Sersharpe (Razor sharp) Ray Sleeder (Race leader) Ray Strack (Racetrack) Reg Oyce (Rejoice) Renee Sance (Renaissance) Rex Cars (Wrecks cars) Rhea Gretabble (Regrettable) Rhoada Hoarse (Rode a horse) Rhoda Camel (Rode a camel) Rhoda Wynner (Rode a winner) Rick Kleiner (Recliner) Rick O'Shea (Ricochet) Rick Ottersheese (Ricotta cheese) Ricky T. Bridge (Rickety bridge) Rip Tile (Reptile) Rita Book (Read a book) Rob O. Flavin (Riboflavin) Robbie Ree (Robbery) Robin Emblind (Robbing them blind) Robyn Banks (Robbing banks) Rocca Vages (Rock of ages) Roland Buter (Roll and butter) Ron A. Muck (Run amok) Ron Devue (Rendezvous) Ron Osserus (Rhinoceros) Rory Motion (Raw emotion) Rosa Teeth (Rows of teeth) Ross Terr (Roster) Ross Trum (Rostrum) Rowan Boate (Rowing boat) Ruben MyColeridge (Rubbing my Coleridge) Ruby Kohn (Rubicon) Rudi Day (Rue the day) Rudi Mentry (Rudimentary) Rudy Nuff (Rude enough) Rufus Leakin (Roof is leaking) Russ Tinayle (Rusty nail) Russell Ingleaves (Rustling leaves) Ruth Tyler (Roof Tiler) S Sabina Pleasure (It's been a pleasure) Sadie Word (Say the word) Sal Ami (Salami) Sal Livver (Saliva) Sal T. 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Care (Surely you care) Sid Down (Sit down) Sir Fin Waves (Surfin' waves) Sir John Sands (Surgeon's hands) Sir Kit Breaker (Circuit breaker) Sonia Shew (It's on your shoe) Stacey Rhect (Stays erect) Stan Dandeliver (Stand and deliver) Stan Deasy (Stand easy) Stan Dingproude (Standing proud) Stan Doffich (Standoffish) Stan Dupp (Stand up) Steve Adore (Stevedore) Stu Padasso (Stupid Emerson) Stu Pid (Stupid) Sue Case (Suitcase) Sue Denley (Suddenly) Sue Donim (Pseudonym) Sue E. Side (Suicide) Sue Flay (Souffle) Sue Perrman (Superman) Sue Render (Surrender) Sue Ridge (Sewage) Sum Ting Wong (Something wrong) Sum Yung Gai (Some young guy) Susan Orty-Boyden (Who's a naughty boy then) T Tamara Nethercombs (Tomorrow never comes) Tanya Hide (Tan your hide) Tara Newhall (Tear a new hole) Tate Urchips (Tater chips) Teresa Crowd (Three's a crowd) Teresa Green (Trees are green) Terry Bulsmel (Terrible smell) Terry Cotter (Terracotta) Terry Fie (Terrify) Terry Ryst (Terrorist) Terry Torrie (Territory) Tess Tickle (Testicle) Tia Dropps (Teardrops) Tim Burr (Timber) Tim Lee Intervention (Timely intervention) Tim Panny (Timpani) Tina Beense (Tin of beans) Tina See (Tennessee) Titus Addrum (Tight as a drum) Titus Balzac (Tightest ball sack) Titus Canby (Tight as can be) Titus Zell (Tight as Hell) Toby Hynde (Tow behind) Toby Paidfer (To be paid for) Tom Bowler (Tombola) Tom Martow (Tomato) Torah Hyman (Tore a hymen) Travis Tay (Travesty) Tristan Shout (Twist and shout) Trudy Lite (True delight) Tudick Synsider (Two dicks inside her) Ty Dallwave (Tidal wave) Ty Imup (Tie him up) Ty Priter (Typewriter) Ty Tannick (Titanic) Ty Tass (Tightass) Tyrone Shoes (Tie your own shoes) U Uliqa M'Diq (You lick my dick) Ullee Daway (You lead the way) Ulrika Garlick (You'll reek of garlic) Una Brau (Unibrow - from Austin Powers) Upton O'goode (Up to no good) Ura Snotball (You are a snotball - from The Simpsons) Ustrokeet Islewatch (You stroke it I'll watch) V Val Crow (Velcro) Val Haller (Valhalla) Val Lay (Valet) Vasilly Sonovabich (That silly son of a bitch) Vera Cross (Veer across) Vic Tree (Victory) Vinny Gerr (Vinegar) Viv Atious (Vivacious) Vlad Tire (Flat tire) W Walt Sing (Waltzing) Walter Mellon (Watermelon) Walter Wallcarpet (Wall to wall carpet) Wanda Dorff (Wandered off) Wanda Lottie Wray (Won the lottery) Wanda Phul (Wonderful) Wanda Rinhands (Wandering hands) Warren Peace (War and peace) Warren Tease (Warranties) Wat Apistle (Water pistol) Wayne Dear (Reindeer) Wayne Dwops (Raindrops) Wayne Kerr (Wanker) Wayne Ningmoon (Waning moon) Wendy Windblows (Where the wind blows) Wi Phukem Yung (We Frost them young) Will D. Beest (Wildebeest) Will O'Patten (Willow pattern) Will Ting (Wilting) Will U. Jackmeov (Will you jack me off) Wille Belong (Will he be long) Willie Byter (Willy biter or will he bite her) Willie Gofar (Will he go far) Willie Makeit (Will he make it) Willy O'Wowntey (Will he or won't he) Willy Tert (Will it hurt) Wilma Fingerdoo (Will my finger do) Wilma Leggrowbach (Will my leg grow back) Winnie Bago (Winnebago) Winnie DiPoo (Winnie the Pooh) Woody U. No (What do you know) X Xavier Breff (Save your breath) Xavier Money (Save your money) Xavier Onassis (Save your own asses) Xavier Zelf (Save yourself) Y Yerma Wildo (Your ma will do) Yul B. Allwright (You'll be alright) Yule B. Sorry (You'll be sorry) Z Zeke N. Yeshallfind (Seek and you shall find) Zelda Kowz (Sell the cows) Zoltan Pepper (Salt and pepper)

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chocolateheal · 6 years ago

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The Shocking Revelation of Pie Pudding | pie pudding

In the angel of aliment holidays, today is National Pie Day.

Pumpkin Pie Pudding Recipe | MyRecipes – pie pudding | pie pudding

What bigger alibi to broil a pie or at atomic partake in a allotment of your favorite, whether it be angel pie, peanut adulate pie or key adhesive pie.

National Pie Day was created by the American Pie Council with the aboriginal ceremony captivated in 1986 to admire Crisco’s 75th ceremony of “serving foods to families everywhere”.

In celebration, we pulled recipes from the PennLive archive.

The Hotel Hershey’s Amber Chrism Pie

Ingredients

Directions:

Heat 1 1/2 cups milk and amoroso in 1-quart saucepan. Amalgamate 1 cup milk with flour, cornstarch, alkali and egg yolks. Temper by abacus 1/3 of the hot sugar/milk admixture to the egg yolk mixture. Return admixture to the pot and accompany to a boil. Activity one minute, afresh abolish from heat. Add amber and activity in until melted. Finish with boilerplate and butter. Pour into pies carapace and refrigerate. To serve, adornment with aerated chrism and baldheaded amber or unwrapped Hershey’s Kisses.

Banana Pudding Pie – pie pudding | pie pudding

Here is the award-winning angel pie from the 2019 Pa. Farm Show from Marie Miller of Mechanicsburg.

Caramel-Pecan Angel Pie

Crust

Directions:

Blend flour, amoroso and alkali in aliment processor. Add adulate and shortening; alloy until admixture resembles advance meal. Transfer admixture to average bowl. Add 5 tablespoons ice baptize and mix with angle until chef begins to array together, abacus added baptize by teaspoonfuls if dry. Gather chef together. Divide chef in half; abrade anniversary bisected into a disk. Wrap anniversary deejay in artificial and air-condition for at atomic one hour. Roll one deejay into a 9-inch amphitheater and save the added for the top. Fit the chef into a 9-inch pie pan and trim the edges to 1-inch overhang. Fold the chef beneath and coil the edges. Place in the refrigerator for 20 minutes. Use bisected of the band for the basal band and the added bisected for decorating the top.

Filling:

Streusel Topping

Afters, Background, Bake, Baked, Bread – pie pudding | pie pudding

Directions:

In a ample bowl, bung apples with auto juice, 1/4 cup above cider and vanilla. Let this admixture absorb for an hour in a covered bowl. Drain balance aqueous from the mixture. Amalgamate the pecans, amber and white sugar, biscuit and pie enhancer; add to angel admixture and bung to coat. Pour 1/3 cup caramel topping over basal of pastry shell; top with angel mixture.

In a baby bowl, amalgamate the flour, pecans and amber sugar. Cut in adulate until admixture resembles base crumbs. Sprinkle over filling.

Bake at 375 degrees for 30 account uncovered. Cover edges with foil; broil 30-40 account or until bushing is aerated and topping is browned. Immediately dribble with caramel topping. Cool on wire rack. Top with pastry cut-outs, if desired. Yields 8 servings.

Crazy Blooming Pie

Ingredients:

Directions:

Slow Cooker Pumpkin Pie Pudding Recipe | Simple Nourished Living – pie pudding | pie pudding

Preheat oven to 425 degrees. Amalgamate blooming pie filling, auto abstract and biscuit and set aside. In a ample bowl, amalgamate flour, baking crumb and salt. Add shortening, egg and water. Beat two minutes. Pour band into a deep-dish 9-inch pie basin and advance around.Pour blooming bushing admixture into centermost of band batter. Do not stir. Broil 45 minutes. Cool. The pie can be served with aerated chrism or boilerplate ice cream.A can of angel pie bushing can be commissioned for the blooming pie filling.

Peanut Adulate Atom Pie

Ingredients:

Crumbs

Filling

Directions:

To accomplish the crumbs, put peanut adulate into a basin and activate abacus confectioners’ amoroso about one-half cup at a time, bond it with a pastry blender. Add confectioners’ amoroso as bare until the admixture resembles baby peas. Pat two-thirds of the crumbs into the basal of the broiled and cooled pie crust. Set aside.

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To accomplish the pudding, mix sugar, cornstarch and abrade calm in a ample saucepan. Activity in milk and accompany to boil, active constantly. Beat egg yolks in a baby heat-proof bowl. Add a allotment of the hot milk admixture to the egg yolks and activity well. (This footfall keeps the yolks from affable into accolade eggs back added to the hot pudding.)

Add the yolk admixture to the saucepan. Accompany to a abscess again. Abolish from calefaction and add boilerplate and butter. Cool 5 minutes, active twice. Pour into able crust. Top with actual peanut adulate crumbs. Chill until pudding is set. Air-condition extra pie.

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jollypeanutdestiny-blog · 6 years ago

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can someone do my essay the rise and fall of lbj The Rise and Fall of Crisco

For more information see, www.smuckers.com). Can someone do my essay the rise and fall of lbj. The Rise and Fall of Crisco © Mother Linda's Crisco Update. The story of how Procter & Gamble successfully demonized lard. On April 25, 2001, Procter and Gamble (P&G) put its product Crisco on the auction block, just ten years short of its 100th birthday. Crisco, initially made with hydrogenated cottonseed oil, is the quintessential imitation food, and the first to make its way into American kitchens. The story of Crisco begins innocently enough in pre-Civil War America when candle maker William Proctor and his brother-in-law, soap-maker James Gamble, joined forces to compete with fourteen other soap and candle makers in Cincinnati, Ohio. P&G entered the shortening business out of necessity. In the 1890s, the meat packing monopoly controlled the price of lard and tallow needed to make candles and soap. P&G took steps to gain control of the cottonseed oil business from farm to factory. By 1905, they owned eight cottonseed mills in Mississippi. In 1907, with the help of German chemist E. C. Kayser, P&G developed the science of hydrogenation. By adding hydrogen atoms to the fatty acid chain, this revolutionary industrial process transformed liquid cottonseed oil into a solid that resembled lard. Not content with using hardened cottonseed oil for soaps, and mindful that electrification was forcing the candle business into decline, P&G looked for other markets for their new product. Since hydrogenated cottonseed oil resembled lard, why not sell it as a food? The new product was initially named Krispo, but trademark complications forced P&G to look for another name. They next try was Cryst which was abandoned when someone in management noted a religious connotation.... View more ...

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clearspantents · 6 years ago

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Ten Ingenious Ways You Can Do With Milk Chocolate Pie Filling | milk chocolate pie filling

In the angel of aliment holidays, today is National Pie Day.

Peanut Butter and Milk Chocolate Chip Cookie Pie – Taste and Tell – milk chocolate pie filling | milk chocolate pie filling

What bigger alibi to broil a pie or at atomic partake in a allotment of your favorite, whether it be angel pie, peanut adulate pie or key adhesive pie.

National Pie Day was created by the American Pie Council with the aboriginal ceremony captivated in 1986 to admire Crisco’s 75th ceremony of “serving foods to families everywhere”.

In celebration, we pulled recipes from the PennLive archive.

The Hotel Hershey’s Amber Chrism Pie

Ingredients

Directions:

Cream Pie (Banana Cream, Coconut Cream, Chocolate Cream) – milk chocolate pie filling | milk chocolate pie filling

Here is the award-winning angel pie from the 2019 Pa. Farm Show from Marie Miller of Mechanicsburg.

Caramel-Pecan Angel Pie

Crust

Directions:

Filling:

Streusel Topping

Pies | Recipe Doodle – milk chocolate pie filling | milk chocolate pie filling

Directions:

In a baby bowl, amalgamate the flour, pecans and amber sugar. Cut in adulate until admixture resembles base crumbs. Sprinkle over filling.

Crazy Blooming Pie

Ingredients:

Directions:

Filling molds – milk chocolate pie filling | milk chocolate pie filling

Peanut Adulate Atom Pie

Ingredients:

Crumbs

Filling

Directions:

17 Best ideas about Cooking Chocolate on Pinterest | Ooey … – milk chocolate pie filling | milk chocolate pie filling

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chocolateheal · 6 years ago

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The Reason Why Everyone Love Chocolate Sugar Pie | chocolate sugar pie

In the angel of aliment holidays, today is National Pie Day.

Sugar Free Chocolate Pie (French Silk Pie) | Low Carb Maven – chocolate sugar pie | chocolate sugar pie

What bigger alibi to broil a pie or at atomic partake in a allotment of your favorite, whether it be angel pie, peanut adulate pie or key adhesive pie.

National Pie Day was created by the American Pie Council with the aboriginal ceremony captivated in 1986 to admire Crisco’s 75th ceremony of “serving foods to families everywhere”.

In celebration, we pulled recipes from the PennLive archive.

The Hotel Hershey’s Amber Chrism Pie

Ingredients

Directions:

Chocolate Whoopie Pie. (EOS) (EXPLORE) – chocolate sugar pie | chocolate sugar pie

Here is the award-winning angel pie from the 2019 Pa. Farm Show from Marie Miller of Mechanicsburg.

Caramel-Pecan Angel Pie

Crust

Directions:

Filling:

Streusel Topping

Old Fashioned Sugar Pie Recipe » Call Me PMc – chocolate sugar pie | chocolate sugar pie

Directions:

In a baby bowl, amalgamate the flour, pecans and amber sugar. Cut in adulate until admixture resembles base crumbs. Sprinkle over filling.

Crazy Blooming Pie

Ingredients:

Directions:

Carrot Pie – chocolate sugar pie | chocolate sugar pie

Peanut Adulate Atom Pie

Ingredients:

Crumbs

Filling

Directions:

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chocolateheal · 6 years ago

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Ten Easy Ways To Facilitate Vanilla Pudding Chocolate Pie | vanilla pudding chocolate pie

In the angel of aliment holidays, today is National Pie Day.

10 Best Chocolate Vanilla Pudding Pie Recipes | Yummly – vanilla pudding chocolate pie | vanilla pudding chocolate pie

What bigger alibi to broil a pie or at atomic partake in a allotment of your favorite, whether it be angel pie, peanut adulate pie or key adhesive pie.

National Pie Day was created by the American Pie Council with the aboriginal ceremony captivated in 1986 to admire Crisco’s 75th ceremony of “serving foods to families everywhere”.

In celebration, we pulled recipes from the PennLive archive.

The Hotel Hershey’s Amber Chrism Pie

Ingredients

Directions:

Oreo Vanilla Pudding Pie | Zoale – vanilla pudding chocolate pie | vanilla pudding chocolate pie

Here is the award-winning angel pie from the 2019 Pa. Farm Show from Marie Miller of Mechanicsburg.

Caramel-Pecan Angel Pie

Crust

Directions:

Filling:

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chocolateheal · 6 years ago

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waterbottlegrey-blog · 1 year ago

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The stories bout the cleverness of ravens are true. You can see Brent's car as you walk out of the house for the last time, with everything that could be detached with clever raven claws and beaks detached. it's quite impressive. They'd somehow managed to pull apart the lights without breaking the light-bulbs. They'd lined a circle around the hummer with them.

"Okay, so we're going to the glen," you say. "And we're finding my parents."

The young raven, who'd introduced himself as Cup-Noodle-Thief, CNT for short, has been waiting for you patiently. He croaks excitedly, flies around and does a barrel roll. Atomic-Crisco, the elderly one, is on your bike's handlebar already.

"We should hurry then. It's a day's flight, and you need to make it before the rising of the moon," he says.

"And we really should know your heraldry before that. I've heard some of them can be really harsh about protocol," adds CNT.

You shrug, and load your tent into the saddle bags.

You really don't care about stuff like that right now. You want some answers. You want to know why they'd never came to look for you. The changeling is suppressed to return, that's the story. They're supposed to come back for it. There's at least one story that goes like that. And they'd left you here.

CNT croaks at Crisco. Crisco jumps on the seat.

"Fine, what about it? I thought you said you don't know what house I'm from." You say.

You've been talking and observing them logn enough to know that Crisco is a stubborn old bastard. He won't move until he gets his way.

"I can make an educated guess," he says, wryly. "You'll need to buy some mirrors. And fresh bread. Pricey liqueur wouldn't hurt." And he says nothing more.

You sigh. It's a bit alarming that they won't tell you what they know before getting you to the glen. But fuck it.

It does take an entire day to get there. In the end, its just an abandoned strip of land beside a highway. You got the bag of bagels, and merlot, and 60 hand-held mirrors.

The rest of the flock caught up with you when you were in the traffic jam, getting out of the city. You just know CNT led you to take that route on purpose, somehow. YOu just hope they didn't cause the car accident. As it was, you missed the moon-rise, and used up both of your first-aid kits.

"Alright, so can you tell me now?" You demand once you've set up the tent.

"Of course, my Lord," says CNT. The rest of the ravens are perched in the shrubbery and the lone tree around your little camp. The gas stove is bubbling away, Crisco nudging the lid every once in a while so it won't overflow.

"So, I'm pretty sure you're Dark-Fae, because of the whole, you know, reality warping, but the specific house is trickier. They'd keep the details of the descen-"

"Hold on," you interrupt. "Firstly, how do you know 'reality warping' but not HOA, and also, I've been warping reality?"

There's a chorus of croaking and laughter from around you.

"Aye," sounds a voice from behind the tent.

You jump to your feet. There's a fuck-off huge man, with a homely face, dressed in what would be best called bondage-lumberjack outfit, coming around to sit at your fire. He's smiling, but it's a smirking smile.

You eye him carefully. You've been in a hundred biker bars, and you know that swagger.

"Proper greeting is 'hello, how are you', so let's start there," you snap.

Crisco chuckles at the pot.

"Your first retainer, it seems. You could do worse. What ho, dryad. How fares thy clan?"

You keep you face blank, your heart hammering in your chest. This is what comes from now hawing the heart to grab the old feather-duster and shaking him until explanations fall out. The large man stops smirking, at least.

He grins, trying for charming. He'd probably pull it off to anyone else, but you're used to navigating Father and his flock of fawning bitches in the congregation for minimum bodily harm. You can just about smell the apprehension of someone that's trying to buff his way higher in the pecking order. "I'm tough, tougher than you, really, no, really, just please don't check-"

"Lawrence, at your service, My Lord," he says. "How do you fare?"

You don't point out that you're more of a Lordship. Gentleperson? Bah. The particulars of your gender are irrelevent right now, and the ravens have been using it more as a title than anything else, anyways.

"I fare impatient. What reality warping?"

Lawrence smirks again. You feel a stab of pity. He's trying so hard, bless him, he wouldn't last one day in the Inner Divinity Circle.

"You're a Fae Lord of the Shaded Shack, Lord. Reality warping is your purview. You can impose your will on the world, the way you think things should be." He sits on his knees like in a Japanese movie, the leather rig creaking as he rolls his shoulders. The light from the lantern shines of the straining buttons on the plaid shirt. Is he...?

Nevermind.

"Be nice to know what that is," you say pointedly to Crisco. He manages to conwey a shrug.

"Young Cup-Noodle-Thief was enjoying his first attempts at fool-dom, Lord. I felt he should try, as he will replace me. I am...old."

He tries to twist off the gas stove. Lawrence reaches over and twists it for him. His demeanor is entirely changed. He's now blank-faced and subdued. His eyes are lowered.

Your mind races. There's a hierarchy here. You can see the outlines. Atomic Crisco just implied something important. Fool is taken, and above Retainer.

"I got ways to go," mutters CNT. "But yeah. It's like, an area of effect. And I know an HOA is a thing fancy neighbourhoods have, it's like, an important flock within the flock that no-one likes. And I was trying to sound fancy, cause we though you were a fancy Fae Lord that was taking a holiday. Sorry," he adds.

You forgive him immediately. CNT was the goofball of the flock, and before... today, you always loved to whatch what stupid escapade he'd get himself into.

"You're still not explaining yourself," you say softly.

CNT looks at Lawrence, then pointedly at you. Lawrence, for his part, is still lowering his eyes.

"This world is... soft, to a being of your power, my Lord. We didn't know you were a High House until you made the rest of the flock like us."

He nods towards Crisco. He croaks, then says in a jovial tone:

"It was a lark to see the lowbeast flockmates suddenly awaken one day with cognition. One day your biggest puzzle is the shine of a trashcan and why you can't eat it, and the next you're Wise and re-inventing the descartian reasoning of existence in a panic."

"Hey, man, fuck you," sounds from one of the bushes. A chorus of laughter sounds. You chuckle. CNT preens, and Crisco nods approvingly.

"So because I spoke to you since I was little-"

"We spoke back. I already was Wise, courtesy of Lord Star, but of the rest, Cup-Noodle-Thief was the first. Do you remember giving him his name?"

You stare at CNT. You called him that, you remember, when you were watching him in the park.

"Yeah, I was eating those noodles, and then suddenly thought Hey, these aren't meat, they just smell like meat, what the fuck? An then panicked because I thought my thoughts were someone talking," says CNT.

"So this Lord Star is my father?" you ask.

"I have no idea, I'm sorry, my Lord." Crisco looks ashamed.

"Yeah, they keep kids under wraps until they come into their power. You could be, or you could be one of the hundreds of others. Powers are random, people just join the High Houses later once they manifest based on them. I'm not even fully up on those, I found maybe a dozen Houses to figure out your heraldy, and I was focusing on weasels, cause you had so much plushies of them, and green and black colours and do you know how many houses-" Okay, so he tried to guess your house based on what you wore? Poor guy. You wore exactly three shades on green and black, and- Lawence shifted.

"You know more about Houses and things, right, Lawrence?"

Lawrence takes a deep breath. You narrow your eyes. He looks... stubborn.

"It's not the privilege of a retainer, to advise, my Lord."

"Not a privilege of a dryad to try and usurp a Wise Awakened, either." snarks CNT, "But it looks like your woody self grew a pair of more than just fruit, eh?" He looks hopefully towards you. Crisco groans.

You groan.

You can apparetly warp reality to the point of granting cognition, your one retainer is a extorting dryad, and your Fool makes dirty puns.

"You can kneel there until you feel otherwise," you tell Lawrence. You give it 10 hours, because he's a stubborn one, he's kneeling on rocks, and he's feeling it already. You hate thet you can predict that so accurately.

He looks startled. Yeah buddy, and I won't cave even if you hold your breath, either, you think. There's laughter from the flock around you.

Still, your stew is done, and you have some answers. You'll eat, sleep, and get more answers.

You always got strange looks whenever you fed the neighborhood ravens. “I give them food, they give me company,” you’d say. One day, a raven excitedly comes up to you and whispers, “A neighbor plots against you, my lord.”

#The Fae Raven Lord Story?#wow this got long #stream of cosciousness whaile i should sleep but i can't #unedited but i'm invested now #huh those blind typing excercises are useful

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