#Ask RTV puzzles

[4thwallbreakerdraws2]

So, how did Mr. Puzzles achieve all five stars? Did he do something anyone likes, or did he brainwashed everyone?

“Are YOU accusing ME of cheating? I will have YOU know that I EARNED THOSE STARS through MY talent! When THEY voted for the movie, they AGREED to give me CONTROL. Brainwash, HAH! I call it LOYALITY to my continuing SHOW.”

Like in the series, RTV earned his five stars during the Puzzlevision movie. However, he did not immediately lose them afterwards like canon Puzzles did. With exception for a few specific characters, the majority of the SMG4 world is under RTV’s brainwash. So be careful with what he tells you and what you tell him, you don’t want to end up like them, do you?

[seat-safety-switch]

Those who can, do. Those who can't, teach. Those who have a Tire Guy in their speed dial because they keep buying bald, corded, twenty-year-old all-seasons from Craigslist and then do a block-long burnout through the playground zone (while dutifully obeying the speed limit) – you're doing amazing, don't change.

I've always wondered what combination of childhood trauma causes someone to become a Tire Guy. Most of the ones I've met have worked as teenagers and impressionable young adults at a chain tire shop, slinging Michelins onto chipped BMW SUV wheels. It makes sense that they'd want to do what they're good at, but there's just one problem – working at a chain tire shop sucks ass, and nobody on God's green Earth would have that experience and then keep wanting to do it, unless they had no choice.

The team of psychologists I've been working with were close to reaching a breakthrough, to finally understand the Tire Guy mind. Early theories that the chemicals – solvents, sealants, mould-release compound, tire lubes, plug repair goo – were at fault didn't pan out. They fed a bunch of monkeys entire tubes of RTV for like four or five weeks, and none of them got any better at mounting even high-profile commuter-car tires.

Perhaps we'll never understand this curious phenomena. It will remain a beautiful mystery, a thought-puzzle amongst the infinite wonders of our universe. I'd ask my Tire Guy, but on the advice of his attorney, he refuses to directly speak with me lest he be implicated. I guess I can't blame him, because most of the time I don't even make it a block from his place before sending the entire carcass of a heavily-cupped Radial T/A onto a neighbour's lawn.

[muslim-by-nature]

Road Trip Visions [RTV]…

For a few minutes (or so) take a step into my thoughts. Imagine a road trip around, and/or through the country with a few real friends. In my head I imagine a tour bus with me, @wolftyla, @414lilj, @miquela1799, @lilpicassa, and maybe a few others on Tumblr (that the stress from my job won’t allow me to recall at the current moment). Simply riding through the country sharing different laughs & stories, eating various foods & snacks that we love/like, and/or encounter, listening to different genres of music, seeing the most beautiful people, places, and things that most people often forget exist. I can see me & Tyla spending countless nights staring out the window into the vast openness, headphones in, music playing, deeply in our thoughts as we clear our heads, then suddenly Tyla decides to take her musical experience to the next level by standing on top of a table, or something close by just to dance to the music playing truly being silly accidently waking up Lil J as she sleeps peacefully not too far away. All good times though, knowing that Lil Picassa who would be not to far off reading into something that could surely benefit us all. Lil Picassa who most likely would be the one that keeps us all in order throughout the day by giving us the advice that we need even when we don’t come straight out, and ask her for it because we quite simply may not want to hear the answers that we need to overcome our mental worries. Lil Picassa would be able to read our emotions, our faces, our actions, our posture, our signs, and etc to tell when we were anything besides happy, she would help us get through it; but don’t get it misconstrued Miquela world be there by her side if we ever ran into an altercation with anyone along the way with the “clapbacks” of the century sure to make our jaw drop before the immediate laughter that would follow. Leave it to Miquela to be that one person to be that unexpected friend that defines the term random going from one personality to the next, yet cherishing her presence all the same as if they all fit together like a perfect puzzle. I envision long heart to heart talks with Lil J almost every other night talking about anything & everything that crosses our mind down to love & our personal battles with depression. Waking up seeing Lil J sitting in the front of the bus by the driver taking pictures of the sunrise, scenery, and buildings that differ in sizes & shadows; pictures that we’ll always love, and have memories with. “Squad goals” going shopping, getting tattoos/piercings (I’ll probably be the one with 15+ new tattoos by the end of the trip), going bowling/skating/etc, stopping to get food & eat, and take pictures with each other at nearly every stop we make. I can picture random pillow fights with each other, numerous prankings pulled on each other, secrets confessed, tears of happiness & sadness released, and some of the best sleep we’ve ever had as we travel from city to city on the road together. It’s thoughts like this that embody the meaning of life, real people with real feelings sharing real vibes, real thoughts, real expierences, and real life long memories with each other. None of this has happened yet, but I find peace, happiness, and comfort knowing that in my mind something as simple as this could be possible…

Enjoy life the best way you can even if it starts in your own head first.

[4thwallbreakerdraws2]

How'd you like this little fella as an assistant?

(He's also a big fan of you and your shows lmao)

“This is a JOKE, right?”

“VERY funny…Get it out of here…”

He’s not too impressed by the little guy. Shame, I find it much more charming than the original.

[4thwallbreakerdraws2]

Hi RTV! What do you personally think of the ‘Original Puzzles’? Y'know, the one that didn't succeed on the five star rating thing during the PuzzleVision movie? Yeah him, what's your thoughts about em?

“Ah yes, “OG Puzzles”…”

“Riiight, TODAY is his SECOND big chance…”

“Just so we are CLEAR: We are NOT the same. He’s an EMBARRASSMENT.”

“I WON’T deny that he SLIGHTLY improved in the least episode though…LET’S see how it plays out. FACT is, he could NEVER reach my level.”

RTV isn’t too fond of the OG, but then again, OG Puzzles did sob and whine a lot the last days. I would probably cringe if I saw my original version behave like that. Yikes…

[4thwallbreakerdraws2]

Yipppe! Puzzlevison is here! How are you feeling about all this Mr. Puzzles? :0

Bro’s ego has never been higher.

[4thwallbreakerdraws2]

ASKBOX IS NOW OPEN!

Ask and tell RTV!Puzzles anything you want and he might give you his time of day.

The only rule is to refrain from inappropriate and NSFW asks!

You can of course still use to the Askbox to just sent me questions lol

[4thwallbreakerdraws2]

Puzzles and his #1 Boss

LISTEN

I know many people are asking why he just doesn’t dropkick the rat (as he should), but I will dare to make the statement that Mickey is a goddamn menace (as seen in some comics and series) AND��Puzzles kinda needs his job.

Getting fired by THE Didney?! Bro what kind of loser are you /silly

Anyway I love my TV failure <3

Fun fact: Did you know that Mickey is 2’1 ft tall? Puzzles here (and in the RTV!Au ) is 12ft btw but its not rlly shown because he slouches.

[4thwallbreakerdraws2]

SHOWSTARS

Working on the asks again, but have this colored piece of SMG16 and RTV!Puzzles for now. Their duo name is SHOWSTARS (or BLUESCREEN if we take the angst path).

Please note that SMG16 belongs to @birdy-four and that these two are meant to be seen as STRICTLY PLATONICAL!

Anyway enough yapping!

[puzzlevision-official]

LITTLE DO THEY KNOW . LITTLE DO THEY KNOW . /ij

(¬‿¬)

Hi RTV! What do you personally think of the ‘Original Puzzles’? Y'know, the one that didn't succeed on the five star rating thing during the PuzzleVision movie? Yeah him, what's your thoughts about em?

“Ah yes, “OG Puzzles”…”

“Riiight, TODAY is his SECOND big chance…”

“Just so we are CLEAR: We are NOT the same. He’s an EMBARRASSMENT.”

“I WON’T deny that he SLIGHTLY improved in the least episode though…LET’S see how it plays out. FACT is, he could NEVER reach my level.”

RTV isn’t too fond of the OG, but then again, OG Puzzles did sob and whine a lot the last days. I would probably cringe if I saw my original version behave like that. Yikes…