#Asa Butterfiel x reader

[clean-bands-dirty-stories]

Clueless ~ O.M. (Part 2)

Warnings: Fluff and awkwardness LMAO, mentions of attempted rape but not really because we’re keeping this innocent and clean and not triggering HA!

Word Count: 3400+

MASTERLIST

No one was talking. Eric had completely lost his mind, dressing down and keeping his eyes away from everyone. He was talking to Y/n though only because she followed him around, worried about him, refusing to leave his side. He took comfort in her presence as she had been the only face he could look at and see anything other than the faces of the people who attacked him. Eric was avoiding Otis and ignoring Maeve. For once, Y/n was avoiding and ignoring Maeve as well, purposefully keeping away from her even though she suddenly seemed very intent on keeping away from Otis and returning to Y/n's side. Maeve and Otis weren't talking because of their 'moment' that they both felt terrible about after Y/n's words had ripped Otis a real new one. Y/n wasn't even giving Otis the time of day, even though she almost broke several times and almost forgave him. But then she'd see Maeve or would remember the look on his face while yelling at Eric or see the faces of her would be attackers or remember the way his face light up as he talked about Maeve while her and Eric stood in front of him, about ready to break down into tears in the middle of his living room. She would remember his insults and accusations and his silence and his absence and her heart would harden again and she would be gone again.

It was the second to last class. Y/n had biology with a really odd girl, Lily. Y/n knew her mostly as the crazy girl who had tried to have sex with Eric and was in Swing Band with him, but also had personal experiences with the girl after they were paired in class the first day. They'd talked a few times and had somewhat of an acquaintanceship that was kind of awkward, distant, and strange. Lily never felt hesitation to talk to Y/n though and usually Y/n would just let her talk, giving her genuine attention and the such since she was sure Lily didn't have anyone else to talk to at all. For not being friends, Y/n knew more about Lily than she did about Otis. And she didn't like it at all.

That day, Lily was especially chatty. "I'm finally going to have sex," the girl declared with a grin.

Y/n swallowed her surprise and nodded, smiling. "Who's the lucky lad?"

Lily's smile widened. "Otis Milburn. The sex boy is a virgin. You two are sort of friends, yeah?" The smile on Y/n's face dissipated and she looked about ready to be sick. "You okay?" Lily asked, her smile fading as well as an eyebrow rose.

"Are you sure Otis agreed to have sex with you?" Y/n asked in a small voice.

The other girl scoffed in smug pride. "Yeah, I'm sure. It's going to be fantastic. We're meeting after school and-"

"Please don't go," Y/n croaked out, her hand reaching out so her fingers wrapped around Lily's wrist, clinging to her. The red head didn't seem to mind or simply didn't notice. "I know we're not close friends and you owe me nothing, but woman to woman, PLEASE don't go."

The girl paused, her eyebrows coming together. "Do you like him?" She asked after a second, finally realizing what the half nauseated, half panicked look on Y/n's face meant.

Y/n sighed, letting Lily's wrist go. "I love him," she clarified. She tried to even her breathing and keep her voice down. Lily frowned. "I've just had the most Hell year. My best friend slowly ditched me and the guy I've liked forever I fell in love with, only to have him fall in love with said ex best friend. I don't even know what happened between me and Maeve, we just suddenly stopped hanging out as if the fact neither of us had anyone else was the thing keeping us together. And then Otis ditched Eric so Eric and I became friends only to go out on his birthday and get jumped by some assholes and now Eric won’t talk to me either because he's pushing everyone away. I mean he lets me sort of hover so there’s that but everything else is a mess and dear God, Lily, please don't go. I'm barely holding onto sanity with the idea that Otis still isn't with anybody...."

After a second, Lily placed a hand on Y/n's shoulder. They made eye contact. "You never talk about yourself," the red head noted. Y/n sighed, deflating a bit. "I won't go," Lily assured and Y/n's eyes filled with tears. "But you scoop that boy up, or next time I won't be so generous. Just because you can't have him doesn't mean no one else can."

Y/n nodded. "That's fair," She croaked. "Thank you, Lily. Truly." The girl waved Y/n's thanks away without assuring her. They faced forward, Y/n collecting her emotions for a second before laughing softly to herself. "He's not ready," Y/n spoke up. "He's always felt pressured, but he can't even kiss a girl let alone have sex with one. You'd probably sit on his bed and hold hands for an hour before he'd even let you hug him."

The girls made eye contact, both smiling amusedly as they laughed softly. "Suppose he's not what I'm looking for then anyway."

After class ended and then the one after that ended and school was over, Y/n found her bike and walked to the front of the school. Here, Otis turned left and she turned right as they went to their respective houses... Would she go home and chance that Lily shows up or simply sit back and let Otis be stood up, or would she face him? Call him out? Or simply keep him company and pretend she had no idea? She stood there and debated for too long, her feet shuffling as she looked back and forth. "Oh my god, MOVE!" Someone yelled.

Y/n jumped, hopping on her bike and heading where her feet took her. Where her heart was demanding to be taken. Where in her panic her body went for safety and comfort and happiness. She went towards Otis.

When she'd arrived at his house, she wasn't surprised but she was a tad disappointed in herself. She wasn't angry with him. Not as angry as Eric was. Not as angry as perhaps she should be. She wasn't as angry as she wanted to be... not at Otis. She was angry at herself. At her emotions and feelings and thoughts and wants. She was angry that she couldn't stop herself from itching for a boy who probably wasn't even thinking about her. Y/n got off her bike, leaning it against the brick wall before quickly moving down the little hill and toward the front door... Where she locked up and froze, staring at the wood of the door like it was the distorted face of a monster from a horror movie.

What was she DOING?! Otis was expecting Lily and sex, not her. He'd ask her to leave. He'd blow her off or it would be awkward as he tried to simultaneously make things up with her and also get her to leave so that he and Lily could be alone. So that she wouldn't see Lily show up or so that he didn't have to chance Lily saying something that would give him away. There was no way he'd let her in or even care. They were barely friends! And how could she hide these demanding feelings of hers after all that had happened, when her feelings were a single breath away from bursting from her and scattering all over the floor in gory detail for everyone to see? How could she hide that she was in love with Otis Milburn while she was with him while there was so much between them but nothing that she wanted or craved- simply anything and everything else?

Just as she was about to turn around and leave, the door opened. "Jean," Y/n breathed in surprise.

The white haired woman rose an eyebrow, a small smile on her face but curiosity in her eyes at the wildly bizarre look on Y/n's face. "Y/n," she greeted in return. "Are you here for Otis?"

The same driving, basic need for Otis that had brought her here in the first place pointed out that there was really no smooth way to go from here. She was at their house and she had been caught. Perhaps she could simply say never mind and hope Jean would simply understand. Not even that was allowed, though, as Otis would hear his mother open the door and begin to talk to the new arrival and race down the stairs to interrupt her finding anything out from Lily, who he expected to be there. "Mum that's for me!" The teenager declared, looking over her shoulder as his eyes landed on Y/n, pausing in surprise. "Y/n?"

"Not who you were expecting?" The girl asked softly, smiling sheepishly.

Jean nudged Otis, not wanting the boy to mess up when it was obvious that, yes, he was, but Y/n was here and that proved an opportunity to make up with her which would lead to making up with Eric since she was the only one who could get even remotely close to the angry post birthday boy without getting somehow attacked.

Otis cleared his throat. "It's fine. Come in, do you need to talk?"

Y/n hesitated, her eyes turning back to her bike. She wished she could simply disappear and reappear next to her bike, hopping on and riding it to freedom, away from here. Otis would probably be relieved even when he was confused and disappointed when Lily wouldn't show up. She couldn't get out of it now though, so she turned back to Otis. "Sure." And Jean and Otis moved aside, allowing her a clear path into the house where she followed Otis quietly to his room. Once they were inside, Otis closed the door and clicked over the lock. Silence fell as Otis waited for Y/n, who sat on his bed for barely a full second before shaking her head, thinking of what Lily had planned for herself and Otis in this room - on that bed - and shooting to her feet again, crossing her arms over her chest and clearing her throat. A thick silence fell as Otis looked at Y/n and Y/n tried to look anywhere else, her restless body refusing to let her eyes stay on anything long. "I know about Lily."

Well that was smooth. Y/n flinched, looking at Otis with guilt and awkwardness. Otis looked panic, frozen solid. "She told you?" He asked quietly, breathlessly.

The girl nodded. "We're lab partners in biology. I'm the closest thing she has to a friend. She... has a lot to say and only I ever listen, so she tells me everything." She looked at him pointedly. "Everything."

Otis looked away. "Oh god," he whispered.

"I'm not here to judge you," Y/n spoke up firmly, finally finding her voice and confidence even though both were still fragile. Otis looked at her. "I won't tell anyone, and neither will Lily because she doesn't talk to anyone but me. I swear it. But... I'm worried about you?" Otis turned his back to her. "I'm not going to push or prod or pry, but as your-" she cut off, not sure how to title her position in his life. "I know that you're young. We're really just kids. And you're smarter and more awkward than any of the rest of us, but you don't have all of the answers. You're not supposed to. You're not supposed to be unbreakable or unwavering. You help everyone and I thought it might be nice to be the one offered the help for once."

Slowly, Otis turned back to Y/n, making eye contact with her. "Friend," he croaked. She rose an eyebrow. "As my friend."

She smiled softly. "Well then as your friend, I implore you to let this go." He sighed. "I'm serious, Otis. You're not one night stands and rushed acquaintances sloppily made for sex. You're... bright colors and pale skin and a full six feet of awkward and well meaning. You're aware and caring and protective. You're yelling at Jackson about Maeve not being a sex object, you're dressing up like a woman to go with your best friend to a revolutionary movie about finding yourself and conquering the bullshit life and what the people in it throw at you. You're pure and good and amazing- don't let the expectations of others taint and ruin that. Please."

Otis looked amazed as he watched Y/n passionately speech to him in a way that he had only seen himself do before. She had snapped in the purest way and he couldn't help but think it was- cute. The way she was protecting him from himself. How she had gone out of her way to help him even when she was struggling with so much herself. It was startling, as he had never considered her as such before. Maeve was always by her side, distracting him. Or Eric was by his side, keeping his attention. Now that they were alone with nothing else to look at or listen to, he couldn't help but see her in her full glory. And admire her, wondering how he could have missed her at all. "Y/n," he began.

"You owe me nothing," the girl whispered. "But- you can't even bring yourself to kiss a girl, Otis, this is rushed."

She was desperate now and he rose an eyebrow at her accusation, temporarily putting aside the sudden, new feelings he had while looking at her in a different light. "You think so?" He challenged.

Y/n sassily rose an eyebrow. "I KNOW so." Otis blushed and rolled his eyes and she sighed. "Fine. Kiss me then." He looked at her sharply and she felt her breath catch in her throat. "If you can kiss me, then I'll totally back off and leave you be. If you can't, then you admit that I'm right and that this is ridiculous. Because if you can't even kiss me, there's no way you'll have sex with someone you're-"

Otis moved toward Y/n suddenly, determined. Her hands fell to her side in shock as he took her face in his hands, their noses inches apart as they simply breathed. He froze, unable to close the distance as suddenly his body surged with new emotions he wasn't quite expecting. Over time, his tenderness towards Y/n had grown of course, but as Maeve made it obvious that he had no chance, taking any time to point Y/n out and push the idea of her being pretty that day or single or bored or lonely... well, Otis suspected, she was trying to set them up. It was obvious, looking back.

Now that he thought of it, Eric did a lot of the same things. Pointing her out, throwing her and Otis together. It felt so painfully obvious that it took his breath away. The comments and implications- could he really have been so totally clueless?

Her eyes were beautiful. Her parted lips were waiting for him and as she looked up at him, he noticed that he wanted to kiss her. Her skin was warm against his hand and as he looked, her lips looked incredibly soft. He wondered if they were as soft as they looked. How they would feel against his...

He panicked. Reeling back, he turned away from her as his breath came fast and hard, his eyes wide as his heart raced and rammed as if demanding to turn all of his insides out onto the floor. “I told you,” Y/n squeaked, her own heart racing as she had doubted, just for a split second, her rock hard resolve that had solidified to stone. After she had wondered, just for a split moment, if he was going to kiss her. If he wanted to her kiss her. Kiss HER, not just kiss someone... But, obviously, that wasn’t the case. She quickly realized something was wrong when Otis suddenly fell to his knees, forehead on the edge of his bed as he blinked rapidly. “Otis?” She called, moving closer and placing a hand on his shoulder. “Otis are you alright?”

“Get my mum,” he gasped. “I... I can’t breathe.”

Y/n’s eyes widened. Panic attack. Had she done that? Damnit! “Right, sorry,” she whispered, standing up to leave.

Otis suddenly grabbed her wrist. “Wait no,” he gasped out. “No I think I’ve got it just, don’t- don’t leave me. Please don’t leave.”

Sitting down softly and placing her free hand on his back, she eased, “I’m right here Otis. I’m not going anywhere, I promise.” They sat there for a while, until Otis looked at her hand in his lap, his fingers mindlessly finding themselves moving, tracing patterns on her skin without his thought or intention. Her skin was still warm, but her touch was soothing and her proximity was comforting. He didn’t want her to leave, ever. He wanted the world to continue to turn around them as they stayed there forever, close and touching and never letting go of each other. Y/n had an air about her that was just so nice. Another thing that he had failed to really take notice of but had always known in the back of his mind, too distracted by everything else to really take a good look at it like he should have.

As the sun began to fall, Jean knocked on the door. “Are you alright in there?”

“Yeah,” Y/n called back for Otis’ sake. “Just talking.”

After a second, Jean responded, “Okay.” Both teenagers could hear the smile in her voice and she blushed. They could hear her footsteps taking her away, leaving them completely alone again.

Eventually, Y/n stood. “I should go. Will you be alright?”

Otis looked up at her, nodding. “Thanks to you.”

“Oh it’s nothing,” she brushed off.

“No it’s not,” he insisted, moving to his feet as well. “You stepped in with Lily and knocked some real sense into me. You were there for me when I needed you...” His face grew sad. “Ever since we’ve been running in the same group, you’re there for every one of us. Me, Maeve, Eric. I- I’m sorry I wasn’t there for YOU, that night. Truly.”

Y/n smiled softly. “I know. I’m not mad. I should be, but you’re hard to hate, Milburn.” Otis chuckled. “I’ll see you at school.” He nodded, putting his hands in his pocket as she turned around to leave.

“Wait,” he suddenly rushed, moving close to her. She turned to face him. “Your phone, may I see it? I want to give you my number. I don’t think I ever have, all this time.” She grinned, unlocking her phone and then handing it to him. He put in his name and number then handed it back. When she got it, she hit the save button. “Text me?” He asked gently.

Nodding, she stepped back another step. “Expect me to. I’ll see you at school.”

“See you at school,” Otis followed up. He watched her go out the front door, running a hand through his hair as he wished she would come back and bring that warm comfort with her again. He wished he’d hugged her goodbye, but knew that even if he had the chance again he wouldn’t. He was too awkward.

That night he waited and waited as Y/n sat at home, deliberating far too long on what to say, unsure how to even begin a conversation with the boy she was in love with. The boy who had just started to really, singularly notice her and who she was becoming friends with. What do you say to a person that means all that to you?

When Otis’ phone went off, he snatched it up so fast that his wrist popped, but he only winced and read the text.

Hello.

He smiled and his fingers began to move in response.