#As well as the fact Yugen got to her BUT

[pathomannia]

Idola is basically made up of all strings. From people native to this world, to the magic they use, it's all basically invisible lines that connect everything.

Any effective magic user can feel the strings out to use them, some who may descend from those outside of Idola, have the chance of being able to see them. While those who are from outside Idola are more likely to see them, it's only someone who is from Idola who's able to use those strings or interact with them.

The only real exception is if someone from the outside is brought back. Now technically being made up of the same stuff as everyone else.

Bianka is unique, just a bunch of knotted-up pieces of magic that piled up for generations and generations, as well as the bonds from being passed through many hands.

Magic is done through pulling or knotting up the strings, depending on the intent of the user. Bigger spells require more complicated knots, but they'll linger as long as someone isn't able to reach in and pull it loose.

Right now, there's really only three people in my situated lore that are able to see strings? There's Hallen and Bianka's dad, Silas, who's dad was pulled into Idola. Hallen, who was an unfortunate victim to being pulled in at a young age, and only was able to assimilate and use magic herself because of her father's actions of bringing her back to life. And then there's Hallen's son, who is also Silas. Named after his grandfather, he inherited his mother's ability to see strings, which is what nurtured his fascination for magic. (As well as occasional stories about his grandfather)

I go back and forth whether or not B can see them, since she was created by those strings, not by people. But she is also a product of Idola, with no outside influence.

[mae-gi-writes]

Yūgen | Sunwoo (The Boyz)

Yugen (n.) a profound, mysterious sense of the beauty of the universe that triggers a deep, emotional response. 

Requested by anon! In which Sunwoo, the ace of the volleyball team, is curious about what you’re drawing all the time. Until one day, he stumbles upon a drawing of himself made from yours truly. 

Genre: fluff, volleyball player! Sunwoo and art student reader, shy love, softness, and inspired by haikyuu because I have been obssessed with the anime lately TT__TT  A/N: It feels like it’s been ages since I’ve posted here! Slowly but surely, I’m going through my inbox and replying to your requests. Thank you for your patience, stay safe loves, ily all xx 

-----

Sunwoo wasn't artistically inclined.

But that never stopped him from admiring those that were. He was always so curious as to how just a flick of fingers managed to create a shadow, or how just one glance at a subject made it through onto paper without so much as an effort to remember the details. It was like it was automatically recorded into one's brain, hands already registered to mimic the curves and the folds and the shadows that turned into nothing short of a miraculous piece. So when he caught sight of someone drawing, it always piqued his interest. He stumbled upon you one late afternoon after his volleyball practice, with sweat dotting his forehead and his training bag slung casually over his shoulder. He was about to direct his way to the parking lot upon exiting the gymnasium, only to spot a lone figure huddled upon the bleachers and curled into a ball that caused Sunwoo to frown. Slowly sidling up to the stranger in question and peeking over the railing to catch a glimpse of your face, his eyes are instantly driven to the sketchpad in your hands.

You didn't notice him though, so absorbed in your own world with earphones blocking out reality that a tsunami could've gone unnoticed. So Sunwoo took advantage to climb over onto the opposite bleacher and, after ensuring that your back wouldn't turn to greet him, leaned over the separation to catch sight of a lone figure cartwheeling freely over the page. Woah. You were talented alright. There was nothing else to describe the fluidity of movement you caught with your pencil. It made Sunwoo's breath catch in his throat. He had the sudden urge to know exactly what kind of face hid behind the visual mastery manifesting before his very eyes. After all, there must be other things for them to see rather than the boring literal reality that most people settled for. What kind of imageries were they creating in their heads? What beautiful stories were they crafting? Worlds they got lost in? You moved then, causing Sunwoo to jolt back and scurry away with his heart beating out of his chest, deciding that it was enough spying for the day. After that day, he made sure to seek you out every time after practice although he noticed you never strayed too long in the same place, always moving about like a shadow lingering in the corner, invisible yet omniscient. Sometimes you would find a quiet spot in a patch of sunlight by the tennis courts. Sometimes you'd be found on the bleachers, alert eyes observing every pass, every move, every twist of a body like  camera taking everything in. Sunwoo never approached you. Not that he didn't want to, but he found it awkward to just come up to you and present himself as the guy who'd been stalking your drawings. So he admired you from afar instead, relished in the passion of your dark coffee coloured eyes and in the attentive focus dipping your eyebrows in a soft frown, lips paeted slightly in concentration. "Do you know her?" He'd asked one of his friends from the volleyball team once, during their lunch break as he saw you line up at the cafeteria. Changmin took a peek at your face before he shook his head, "she might be in one of my electives." "Which one?" "I think it's art." Sunwoo forced his face to remain in a mask of calmness as he grabbed a steak sandwich, no fries, "do you know her name?" "Nah. I don't think she's ever spoken in class," Changmin's eyebrows quirk up then, "why'd you ask?" "No reason." Changmin's pointed look defined anything but that.  Although he did have the decency to drop the subject as soon as the rest of the volleyball team joined the table. Sunwoo got his answer a few days later when he practically toppled over you and your drawing crayons. It was his mistake. He'd been leaning too far out from the top of the basketball bleachers, struggling to get even the smidgest glimpse of what amazing piece of art hiding under your jacket sleeve, only for his foot to slip. Down he went with a curse, crashing straight into your body and quickly scrabbling to wrap his arms around your head, a pathetic attempt to cushion your fall as you fell into a heap in front of the bleachers. "You--you okay?" He huffed out, breathless and heart beating like a time bomb. Pulling his arms away slowly, gently, he finally met your gaze straight on and --oh my, your eyes were not coffee coloured at all.  But more of a honey-brown, wide open and framed by soft lashes. Currently dilated in panic. "I'm fine! What--What about you? Oh gosh, I'm so sorry--" "No it was my fault," he made a grab for your sketchbook and scattered pens only for his orbs to register the face messily etched onto the paper. His breath caught. For a minute, he could do nothing but stare at the replica of his face made in charcoal. Those were his eyes, his slightly crooked nose. The scowl he wore during his soccer matches. That was him. The resemblance was akin to that of perfection. That was before your hands snatched away the sketchbook before you quickly slammed it closed, cheeks blazing red, "that's-- I swear I"m not a creep, I-- I just do that for practice--" "It's amazing." Your head-- which had been bowed this entire time for fear that anger would be his response -- shot up in surprise, "what?" "It's amazing," Sunwoo repeated. He wouldn't mind repeating it forever, he realized, if that meant he got to see that aforable blush of yours. He reached out with his hand, "can I look at it again?" So you allowed him after some slight hesitation, and if he noticed, he didn't comment. Fingers brushing against yours slightly, he handled the sketchbook with utmost care as he flipped through the pages with child-like awe. He'd seen your drawings, sure, but mere glimpses here and there, a sneak peek, always accompanied with the fear of being found. But now, he could take his time and actually relish in the soft tracings of your crayon, admire the gentle shadings that made up the tip of his nose. You had managed to capture that frown -- the one he used whenever he concentrated -- to perfection and for a minute he swore he'd fallen in love with himself. "You're really good," he murmured, though that definitely banalized the array of praises popping through his head, "you should keep doing them. I mean it." "So, you're not--" you paused, "mad?" "Well I think you'd have more reason to be mad if you knew I was stalking you from before." "What?" Oh Sunwoo, you idiot. Your eyes had tripled their size and you were looking at him like he'd just grown a second head. He lifted his hands as defence, "that sounded so much better in my head. I swear I'm not that creepy, or a stalker, I just--well you're always drawing and I got curious but I can't really come over and tell you to show me so I had to hide and peek and--" You burst out laughing in his face and despite the fact that he was the cause, he couldn't help joining in with a small chuckle, a grin spreading across his features at how alive you looked at this very moment. "You can ask me next time," your grin settled into a soft smile, "I don't bite." "Your words, not mine," he said, tone lighter and teasing. He helped you gather your belongings and as the pair of you started towards the school gates, he asked for your name. "Y/N," you answered, "and you?" "Sunwoo," he noticed the sky was darkening into purple, a sign that twilight was approaching. Usually, he'd be in a hurry to catch the last bus of the evening to avoid the pain of traffic after six. But it was like his body was slowing down on its own to join your pace, as if he was automatically tuning in to the rhythm of your steps. He found he didn't mind. "So why athletes? Any special reason why you like drawing them?" He asked as you reached the gates. "I just like watching the way they move. It's ...graceful," a hand went to rub the back of your neck, "and they come in handy for figure practice." "I mean, we're not that graceful when you're on the pitch ready to get blown away," he chuckled, "but thanks. At least we know we don't play like animals." "Oh god no. The volleyball team's pretty good. The rugby team on the other hand..." you sigh before you shake your head, "that team is nearly impossible to draw." His shoulders shook as he laughed, "well I don't think they aim for graceful. They look like a pack of wild dogs. Even I don't understand how they play." You had reached the said bus stop by then before you spotted your mother's car along the sidewalk, "oh, my mom's here," you turn to him, "where do you live? Maybe we can drop you--" Meeting your mom? On the first day of meeting you? Sunwoo's hands flew up, shaking them wildly in response, "oh no no, that's not necessary. I'll see you tomorrow!" Thank god for the bus that pulled up at the right time so that he didn't have to linger longer than he needed to. But he didn't miss the small wave of your hand as you watched him go, the smile on your face warming his heart even when it was one of the coldest winter days of the year. From that day onwards, Sunwoo made it a must to make his presence known whenever you were deep in your sketches, always observing, sometimes silently keeping you company and sometimes getting so wrapped up in conversation that your pens would lay forgotten by your bag as you bantered back and forth about subjects that would've made people throw you looks of concern. It became routine to have Sunwoo's head pop up from behind the bleachers or to see him walk up the path to your special hiding spot, right where your gaze would meet the tennis court. You sketched him more and more, folding your drawings into your bag so that he wouldn't see although the urge to catch his face on paper was a growing addiction you couldn't ignore. Even your friends had noticed his lingering presence, proceeding to prod you with questions reflecting their curiosity. "He's from the vòlleyball team isn't he?" Yeji asked one time during lunch, upon noticing the way the said young man's stare lingered over the back of your head before turning away just as quickly, "do you know him?" "We've spoken once or twice." "How do you know him?" Your other friend, Saeron, nudged you with a wriggle of her brows. You brushed her teasing away, "we bumped into each other and then he saw my drawings." "Oh right, you do sketch athletes," Yeji leaned forward, mouth full of bread, "did you sketch him?" "I did, actually." "Oh awkward," Saeron giggled, "he's handsome though, can't deny that. You gotta introduce us sometime." You mumbled out an agreement even though you sat with them just for the sake of having people around. It wasn't that you didn't appreciate them. You did. But they seemed to speak a language you couldn't quite grasp. You would rather sit in your own silence, enjoy your own company if that made sense. Maybe that was why it was so surprising, that you allowed Sunwoo to linger as long as he wanted to. There was something authentic about the way he reacted to your words, an unguarded expression that made you comfortable enough to speak up without fear of judgment. Spending time with Sunwoo was listening to water trickle down the river. Smooth and free. Peaceful. But Sunwoo seldom knew of your high regards, was not aware of the tiny sketch of his figure in mid-spike that was hidden in the pocket of your school skirt so that you could take a peek whenever you felt out of place or nervous. It calmed you down to admire his composure, even if his expression was a mere mimic that could not replace reality. "Do you have any material in particular that you like to use?" Sunwoo asked one cloudy afternoon, breaking the silence while huddling a little closer to peek at your newest sketch of Lee Juyeon; a basketball star player known for his quick reflexes and adept playing style. Not only was his skill on par with that of a Nationals team, but his looks had garnered him quite a fanbase from the get-go. Sunwoo would've liked to say that he wasn't jealous of the way your thumb gently applied shade to Juyeon's lower lip. But the spike in the middle of his chest proved him otherwise. "I like charcoal the most, it's the easiest to work with," pausing to admire your work, your eyes glanced over at him, "do you draw?" He scoffed, "like a five year old." "Wanna try?" "No way. I'll ruin it. I'm okay with admiring it from afar." You hummed an unknown tune as you pulled back your sketchbook, "how is practice?" "Alright. Could be better. We won a practice match last week so we're kind of taking it easy." "That's good though isn't it?" Your gaze met his. His eyes were various gradients of warm maroon and you wished-- at this very moment -- to paint his features into memory. That was when you realized how close you were. You shuffled slightly back and didn't notice the frown Sunwoo threw you in response, "it is. And I'm happy we get to rest. The team deserves it." "You're pursuing it in College?" Your eyes tried not to linger too much over his lips, "volleyball, I mean." "Depends," he smiled, though it didn't reach his eyes, "if we make it to the Nationals." "You will." "Someone's confident," he chuckled. "Well I'm no pro but even I can tell you're talented, Sunwoo," you peeked at him from behind your fringe, glad that you could blame the cold for your red cheeks when just the intensity and closeness of his entity made you want to squirm, "so if there's anyone who can do it, it's you." It was impossible to keep eye contact after such a confession. You lowered your gaze, glad for your sketchbook that acted as a distraction. It was at that very moment that the paper tucked so neatly in your pocket slipped out, causing Sunwoo to quickly make a grab for it. You made a noise of protest before trying to snatch it back, but the boy only chuckled before unfolding the creased page so that there he was, depicted in all his glory. "Is that--" his voice was hoarse and you took this as your chance to steal it from his grasp, reddened cheeks burning and fingers shaking as you folded it back to its tiny square shape, "is that me?" "Y--yes." "You--you keep that with you?" "I--I do," you lifted your chin up defiantly, though you felt your limbs trembling. His eyes, they pierced your own, piecing together a coherence that caused your stomach to fill with butterflies. When he spoke next, his words were a mere murmur. "Why?" "I--I don't know," eyes darting towards the ground, you mumbled, "I just like watching you...play." A pause. Then, Sunwoo shifted a little bit closer. "You like watching me play? Or do you like," he cocked his head, "watching me?" If you were red before then you were probably the colour of a fire engine truck by now. Averting your eyes and turning your head away were instinctive responses due to the blood rushing through your face. "Stop flirting with me," came your mumble. Laughing softly in response, he scooted himself a little closer, so close that his shoulder brushed your back. He leaned over, head tilted to catch your expression. "Cute," his lips broke out in a crooked grin and you swore you felt your heart explode. Flustered, you shoved him away out of instinct but he wasn't having any of that. His hand grabbed your wrists and with a yelp, you were dragged even closer to his chest. "You like looking at me that much huh?" His tone was teasing while his eyes glimmered with playful mischief, "why is that,Y/N?" "You ask as if you don't know," you mumbled out through jumbled words and you were glad he actually understood you. But instead of laughing some more, his features softened into a smile instead as he proceeded to gaze down at you with an expression you couldn't quite place. It was in your normal behaviour to admire people. Not the other way around. And at this very moment, you felt way out of your comfort zone. "I don't know." Your orbs flew up to his in surprise and what you found in those coffee-coloured pupils made your breath stutter, heat coiling through your abdomen. "It...it calms me down," your whisper was barely louder than a breath but by the way Sunwoo's smile widens to reach his eyes, you could tell he heard you just fine. "I like watching you too," he replied. A strand of your hair caught in the wind and he raised his hand to curl it around the back of your ear, his touch ghosting with sparks wherever flesh bumped into flesh. You felt warm. He didn't pull away. Didn't bother hiding the slight dust of pink in his cheeks either, as he slowly allowed his palm to cradle the side of your face. Gently. As if he feared you might run away, recoil back. But you didn't. Even with your breaths going staccato, even if your heart felt like a wild animal. You calmed yourself down with the knowledge that he seemed just as nervous as you were and suddenly, out of a stroke of boldness, your hand went up to hold on to his, pressing it close to your cheek. His breath hitched. You shivered. The wind blew against your figures, a gentle reminder that the day was coming to an end. You weren't exactly sure what changed that day. There were no verbal agreements, nothing that suggested your relationship had changed. Yet, the subtle touches of his hand against your back, your shoulders, moving your hair from one shoulder to another, complemented by his gentle doe-eyed stare that made your toes curl, these changes were small, but significant. And you couldn't find it in your heart to say that you disliked it. What are we? The words lingered at the tip of your tongue, as bitter as the aftertaste of coffee as you stole small glances in his direction. You were sitting comfortably under a tree that overlooked the tennis court where Sunwoo had decided to join you. He'd fallen asleep halfway through your beginning sketch and was now leaning against the tree trunk, face relaxed and body leaned towards yours, close enough that you could admire his face. Countless hours you had spent tracing Sunwoo's features on paper. Countless times you had imagined tracing his lips with your thumb, wondered whether they were as soft as they looked. Maybe it was just curiosity or maybe you had let him walk into your heart so easily that you hadn't realized it yourself. But if there was one thing you could swear your heart upon it would be that you could no longer imagine every day without Sunwoo's presence at your side. As if on instinct, your fingers took a life of their own as they reached up to push a few strands away from his face. They gently carved a path down his cheek, landing at the corner of his jaw. Dangerously close to his open mouth. There was no denying it. Sunwoo was beautiful. Handsome. Had those features on par to that of a model's. You were so focused on edging your way to touch his lower lip that you didn't realize you had been staring, until you glanced up to see his brown orbs fixated on yours. You froze. Shit. "Like what you see?" He murmured. Then, before you could scramble back and probably run with your tail between your legs, his own hand grasped your own and he pushed himself off the trunk before his head angled towards yours, finding your lips. Soft. Sunwoo's lips were soft. You panicked. Not used to the closeness. The fire that sparked between your lids. But his other hand went to clasp your jaw, holding you close as he kissed your next protest away and unconsciously brushing his thumb against your cheek. Shivering in his touch, there was no running away from the way his mouth molded against yours so snugly, and you didn’t want to. You found yourself addicted to the sweet pressure of his upper lip meeting your lower ones and soon enough -- without realizing -- you melted into his touch. 

Sunwoo made a noise that sounded like a soft grunt, his other hand lacing around your waist to pull you closer so that you tumbled halfway into his lap. With embarrassment suddenly flooding through you, you let out a squeak that he answered with a chuckle of his own before distracting you once more with a series of kisses that left you gasping.

Your hands, initially balled into fists in your lap, went to rest against his chest and you didn’t realize that you were gripping onto his school shirt until you parted for air. Only were you aware of your compromising position, of the hard ridges of the young man’s thighs, of the firmness of his chest against your palms, of the way he seemed to be so much bigger than you even though he was a lean athlete, meant to be light and as speedy as the wind. 

Breaths coming out ragged, you tried to slow the beating of your heart. Though it seemed to be quite the challenge, given how lovingly, how intense, Sunwoo seemed to be in making love to your neck, nibbling on your pulse point and causing a soft whimper to fall from your lips. 

A whistle blew in the distance.

The soccer team. They’d be crawling up the hill any minute now.

“Sunwoo,” you breathed out, eyes hazy with mixed feelings of desire and embarrassment. You feebly tried pushing against his chest, to no avail. He merely groaned, head tilting upwards to catch your mouth into another kiss. 

“Sunwoo,” you groaned against his lips. But he held on for dear life, one hand clasping the back of your neck, tangled into your locks. The other around your waist, pressing you as close as he could possibly get you to be. 

“Just one more,” he mumbled in-between kisses, hooded eyes fluttering closed and head slanting to kiss you a little deeper, a little harder.

Your body was on fire. You weren’t used to this intimacy, nor all of the affection he was raining down upon you. 

But it felt good. It felt amazing. Eye-opening.

He finally relented after what seemed like an eternity and you quickly made a move to scramble out of his lap. Though he wasn’t having any of that, grip made of iron as he held on. You looked up to snap at him to let go before everyone saw but was faced with his pout instead, which was enough to bring down your defences. 

“Please,” his pout deepened and your heart practically vaulted through your chest. Cute. Cute. Cute. Stop. Burying his face into your neck, he whispered, “I just wanna hold you.” 

So he did. And thank god the team had decided to take a different route so that you would avoid their imploring, questioning gazes. Though Sunwoo admitted that he’d already known they would go up from the other side of the gymnasium, considering they did that every other week to train their stamina in the process. 

That earned him a light smack on the side of his head, making him whine, “What did I do to deserve this Y/N?” 

“You knew!” You wanted to throw him a glare, but it was impossible when you were busy fighting the grin spreading across your face. 

He grinned back at you, that crooked smile that always resulted in a burst of butterflies roaring through your abdomen. Just like now. 

“So, since you have a drawing of me that you keep staring at every day--” his words died into laughter when you tried smacking his arm, proceeding to cage your wrist with his hand before kissing your knuckles. You squirmed as he continued, “does that mean I can get a picture of you?”

You let out a noise of protest, “that depends,” you mumbled, unconsciously finding refuge in his neck.

Chuckling, Sunwoo grasped your chin lightly to pull you back so that his brown orbs gazed right into yours with a gentleness that had you weak at the knees, “on what?” 

“On what I get in return.” 

“What if I say I’ll take you on a date?” he said wickedly. 

You couldn’t help your smile. 

“I guess that could work.” 

[sikebubs]

Secret love song (Jungkook x reader) *songfic*

“They decorated the hall prettily.” Tiara, the maknae says in awe with the hall’s decoration.

“Well, it is the end year party for idols and elites. Of course they need to decorate it this pretty.” Jieun, the leader of the group explains it to our members.

We sit at a round table reserved for us. I, Kim (y/n) is a member of a 5 members girl group. I am the second youngest in the group. Our group, YUGEN is among the hottest group in this year. 

As my members talk about random topic, I sit quietly poking the salad in front of me. I huff in sadness as I look around the hall. Then, my eyes see a person I try to avoid. He looks at me with a glance before continue talking to the girl in front of her. Jeon Jungkook and IU. They are laughing while I watch them in pure sadness. The wave of sadness hit me ruining my mood. I blink the tears away as I am tired of it.

You must wonder what happened between us. We dated for the past one year and a half. We were happy. When our groups’ popularity risen abruptly, the pressure of being an idol start to break us apart. Our company demanded us to break our relationship but we promise to stay strong. In the end, we failed each other. 

Three months without the one you love are really a living hell. My concentration and work drop a bit. I lock myself in my room whenever we got to rest. I cried myself to sleep to continue it as soon as I wake up. My thought fill with depressing thoughts and I stop eating. I numb the pain by working out nonstop to the point I passed out one day. And from then, the others are assigned to watch after me.

“This year special event, we will choose random idol to sing one of the song in this box.” My thoughts are interrupted by the emcee. I look uninterested of it. The screen shows many idols from various camera. One by one of the cameras are shut down. I look at my phone for a moment before a round of applause fills the hall. I see everyone look at me and I look at the screen in a shock.

‘Why am I chosen?’ 

I walk to the stage shyly as everyone is smiling at me. A bodyguard helps me walk to the stage and I bow to the emcee.

“Congratulation Miss Kim (y/n) from YUGEN. You are chosen. Now, choose a paper in the box.” I ruffle my hand in the box for a few second. I pull out a blue paper. I give it to the emcee as everyone is looking forward to it.

“This night, we will hear Kim (y/n) cover Secret Love Song by Little Mix ft. Jason Derulo.” The emcee announces and the hall fills with applause again. I look toward my members as they cheer at me.

‘There are many songs yet I pick this.’ I fake a smile as I look at the audiences. 

When you hold me in the street and you kiss me on the dance floor I wish that it could be like that Why can't it be like that 'Cause I'm yours

As I sing the intro, my eyes fall to Jungkook automatically. He gazes away from me. The memories of us that I try to forget play in my thoughts like a broken video.

We keep behind closed doors Every time I see you, I die a little more Stolen moments that we steal as the curtain falls It'll never be enough

We are laying in the living room of my apartment. My head on Jungkook’s stomach while he is on his back. We are talking about our day, our childhood, our date and some random topics. Sometimes, the room is full of our laughter whenever a joke is made.

“You know we can make it out this relationship. I don’t know why but I am confident with us. Although the world will be against us because we are idols, we’ll make it through.” Jungkook says as he plays with my hair. I look into his eyes. We stare at each other in silence yet it feels so perfect. I smile at him.

“I love you.” I say to him.

“I love you too.”

It's obvious you're meant for me Every piece of you, it just fits perfectly Every second, every thought, I'm in so deep But I'll never show it on my face But we know this, we got a love that is hopeless

They say soulmate have similar traits. Others say there are opposite attractions. When I think of us, it just the perfect amount of the two, similar and opposite. It complete us in a weird way.

“Stop playing the games, you two. This is the third night this week you stay up for this.” Jin says when he sees Jungkook and I play Overwatch. We ignore him and he starts to yell at us jockingly.

“Shut up, old hyung.” Jungkook says.

“You are too noisy, appa.” I say as Jungkook and I high five each other. Jin stops and shook his head with a smile.

***

“I don’t like to work out.” I complain while watching my boyfriend work out. We have been in the gym for two hours.

“That’s why you’re fat.” He says with a smirk. I roll my eyes jokingly at him. I look at him worried. His face turns so pale.

“You need to chill for a bit. You just finish your long schedule and you go straight to work out. You will exhaust your body.”  I says as I look at him attentively searching for a sign of passing out. He ignores me and continue with his routine when he stumble suddenly. He sits while holding his head. I rush to him with a bottle. He gulps it down immediately.

“Thank you. You are my saver.” He says with his bunny smile.

“And you’ll be the death of me.”

Why can't you hold me in the street? Why can't I kiss you on the dance floor? I wish that it could be like that Why can't we be like that? 'Cause I'm yours When you're with him, do you call his name Like you do when you're with me, does it feel the same? Would you leave if I was ready to settle down? Or would you play it safe and stay? 

 Girl you know this, we got a love that is hopeless 

Jungkook kisses me at my changing room. I push him away.

“We are at public. People will find out if you do this every time we have shows together.” I say as I look around. He chuckles and pecks my lips.

“Sorry, babe. I can’t resist you.” He smiles before walking out of the room.

***

There are rumors about my relationship with Jungkook and our companies tell us to cool down a bit. It is at one of the parties for the idols. The ballroom full of dancing humans. Suddenly, the song changes to a slow song. Someone comes to me. 

“May I have this dance?” Kim Yugyeom, my childhood friend asks. I laugh at his sweet gestures as I am familiar with his crazy behavior. He offers to help me cover my relationship. 

“Yes.” I take his hand and dance with him. We laugh as we are catching up with each other. I am happy to dance with him but there is still an empty feeling in my heart. I look at Jungkook’s way. He is dancing with Lisa. He looks my way and we stare at each other.

“I miss you.” He mouths at me. I smile softly.

“Me too.” I mouth back.

I remember vividly our arguments. At first, it is some lovers quarrels we usually have. After the companies tell us to break it off, the arguments start to turn aggressive and it lead to our break up. The night that haunt me in my dreams.

“Why you don’t show up like you promised?” I ask him annoyed by the fact he forgot our date. I sit on the bed facing away from him.

“I say I’m busy. We will have a tour next month. Can’t you understand? You didn’t come to our date last week. Don’t blame me.” He says while taking off his sweaty hoodie.

“I have a fan meeting. You are the one that forget about it.” I says while looking at him.

“Oh... It is my fault... You will always blame me.”

“Last time, you blame me too.”

“BECAUSE IT IS YOUR FAULT!”

“WELL, SOME OF IT YOUR FAULT BUT YOU TURN IT ON ME!”

“WHAT IS MY FAULT WHEN YOU ARE THE ONE THAT MESS UP YOUR CHOREOGRAPHY?!”

“WELL, MAYBE I CAN GET IT IF YOU LET ME PRACTICE ON THE NIGHT YOU FORCE ME TO VISIT YOUR PARENTS!”

“GOSH, I HAVE BELIEVE YOU TO BE A GOOD GIRLFRIEND FOOLISHLY!” My eyes widen as he let out the word.

“GLAD WE ARE ON THE SAME PAGE!” He looks at me in disbelief.

“WE ARE DONE!”

“LIKE I CARE!”

And just like that we are not together.

Why can't you hold me in the street? Why can't I kiss you on the dance floor? I wish that it could be like that Why can't we be like that? 'Cause I'm yours

I look at him as I sing the words. He walks to his members with IU by his side. His members see him and give him reassuring smile. He looks at me with a sad smile. A smile that says he regrets the way we are over.

And nobody knows I'm in love with someone's baby

I don't wanna hide us away. He mouths the lyrics with me

Tell the world about the love we making

I'm living for that day. Someday. He mouths it again as we are at the verge of tears.

Why can't I hold you in the street? Why can't I kiss you on the dance floor? I wish that we could be like that Why can't we be like that? 'Cause I'm yours, I'm yours

I sing it wholeheartedly. The sadness from our memories and the sad lyrics overwhelm me. I hit the high notes as tears fall from my eyes. He walks away from the hall. I watch in sadness.

‘This is the end.’

Oh, why can't you hold me in the street? Why can't I kiss you on the dance floor? I wish that it could be like that Why can't it be like that? 'Cause I'm yours Why can't I say that I'm in love? I wanna shout it from the rooftops I wish that it could be like that Why can't we be like that? 'Cause I'm yours

Why can't we be like that? Wish we could be like that

I look at the ground as I finish the song. The hall is in silence. Suddenly, there is a big clap and audiences whistle at me. I look at them and see some of them shed their tears.

“That is such an amazing stage from Kim (y/n). I cry a little as a sad emotion is touching my heart.” The audiences laugh at his speech. I look at my members as they smile at me with a sad smile. 

I walk off the stage and being congratulate by some artists and elites. I walk to my members.

“Are you okay?” Minmin asks as she is the closest to me. I nod weakly as she hugs me.

“I know it is hard but if you and him are destined to be together I am sure there is a way.” Bora, the eldest in my group says to me. As the oldest, I always go to her to seek advises as she is so smart with her words. I look as he walk to his group and nod to her.

“Someday.”

[floraone]

8, 15 and 29 please! 💕

Hello anon :D ! Thank you for the ask!!! :D :D

8. Share a snippet from one of your favorite dialogue scenes you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.

Ok so it’s I think too long to post the whole thing up here, but the dialogue I’m pretty much most proud of is in Idiot’s third chapter: Items. And it’s the (last) scene where Sailor Moon ambushes Mamoru and they have a whole conversation where they think they are talking about different things - Usagi tries to figure out whether Mamoru is into Usagi and Mamoru thinks Sailor Moon figured out he is Tuxedo Mask, and accidently blows his cover. And ya know, I think I did well there, lol, for one, I wrote this in Usag’s POV, so making sure everyone knew he’s getting this wrong even though SHE doesn’t know he’s getting that wrong, plus, having them have a conversation that made absolute sense and where both were convinced it was making somewhat sense and yet they absolute totally messed that one up.

15. If you could choose one of your fics to be filmed, which would you choose?

Ikigai and Yugen. Hands down. It’s an origin story, it’s got intricate plot, it’s got Godzilla and Mothra monsters and epic real life Tokyo location battles, and it’s that fic where I take everything I love about my favorite anime and reimagined it with all my fav bits and made it a bit more grown-up while trying to pay hommage to the beauty it was. THAT ONE THAT ONE THAT ONE. I’d die to see it.

29. If you could write the sequel (or prequel) to any fic out there not written by yourself, which would you choose?

So, regardless of the fact that I would never, ever, ever in a million years assume to finish anyone’s fic, because it wouldn’t be their vision, and it’s NOT like regular fanfic where there are hundreds and thousands different versions but then ONE version, if I, say were ASKED like, by the author (which is about the only way I would then do it) - I would want to finish Subject to Change Season 3 by EightofSwords. Subject to Change was this giant saga written over several years (2005 to 2012!) that I was super super into back then, and it was the slowburn of all slowburns and created its own universe and own characters, even, really. But if left off without Usamamo EVER getting together (like, at this point he lost all MEMORY OF HER) and left Usagi in SPACE (which, ya know, AWESOME) with the STARLIGHTS and the SAILOR ANIMAMATES and being trained into this super-sUpER Senshi and my heart really wants to get her out of there and see this done and yeah - it’s one of the only stories I ever got into even when it used the English dub names that I’ve always been unfamiliar with, but, this story totally did it for me back in the day and I’m sad it was never finished and its third installment left off so abruptly after just a few chapters. So yeah.

[floraone]

Mamo-chan for character ask (^3^)

Of couuurse!^^ (And also I saw you too, anon who asked about Mamo-chan, as well!)

So, why I like him: He’s this introvert, vulnerable, kind, caring, empathic (literally!) little lonely soul with so much to give and so little people to give it to, before he met Usagi. And also, he’s a damn lot like my husband. (In fact, my husband built him into his wedding vows. Among else, he promised to always be the Mamoru to my Usagi. ;.; …)

Also, I can’t stress this enough - but making the one character who is an empath a socially awkward mess WHO IS ALSO AN ORPHAN is like the most tragic thing eve,r and so of course I need to love the baby boy because omfg and Usagi don’t you ever leave him he needs you.  

Why I don’t: I love Mamo-chan. I just really dislike that the 90s anime authors seemed it totally neccessary to make him this aloof college guy with the big expensive car instead of that awkward, blushing, glasses-wearing, bus-riding High School boy flashing his ID card like a dork with the empath powers he was in the Manga (and is again in Crystal)?

Favorite episode/scene: Ugh. Too many. In the 90s: the R movie. Hands down. Mamoru finally being shown as someone vulnerable, some of his struggle and loneliness as a kid, and what Usagi brought to the table for him. Also I mean… HIS EYES THROUGHOUT THIS THING. The way he looks at Usagi when she’s getting attacked, when she’s sacrificing herself by using the Crystal, WHEN SHE’S DEAD. And then.. NOT… Ugh…

So, long gap, and then comes Episode 69, the sleeping beauty episode within the break-up arc. Same reason, basically - I love it when the 90s anime allowed the boy some feelings.

As for Manga/Crystal: BASICALLY ALL OF THEM. I love it when he stands there all indignant in his tux ansking this random girl if her cat talked. I love that kiss where we only see his hands and her flowing tears as he comforts her. I love the blush when Sailor Moon kisses him right before he sacrifices himself for her. I like the awkward way he stands behind her and his her head with her bag in his apartment cuz he giant awkward dork. Or when he bloody sniffs her handkerchief all alone on a rooftop.

I love it when he stands at Usagi’s window sill getting the girl to save the day cause he knows she will, I love it when he’s being integrated into the group like the lonely guy deserves,  and I love that scene, early in the beginning, when he knows she’s Sailor Moon but she doesn’t know he’s Tux yet and she runs into him and it’s soo awkward and the smiiiile he gives her???

(Yes, you guys. Mamoru fell first. I will be adamant about this ALWAYS.)

And also these:

Favorite season: S and Super S (Manga and, strangely, 90s anime, too.) He got to be reliable, more dorky, more loving and doting there. More him. I mean.. driving around through Tokyo at juuust the convenient times whenever Usagi would need a ride?

Favorite line: @idesofnovember reminded me a whiiile ago of the gloriousness that is the supermarket episode. And that Tuxy serenade to supermarkets is pretty damn hilarious.

Favorite outfitThis one:

Although I really like his normal school uniform, too.

(Thank you, Manga and Crystal, for dressing this boy so much better. Y'know, at least when he’s not Endo.)

OTP: You get Usagi, Mamo-chan. No one else. Live with it.

Brotp: Motoki. Ami. Setsuna, maybe. And since I wrote him as accidently living with the Three Lights in Yugen, I kinda see him bonding with Taiki, too, if he ever got the chance.

Head Canon: He annotates Usagi’s school books, and he keeps emergency sweets around just for her. Always.

Unpopular opinion: I think that once he and Usagi are in a secure relationship (meaning, not in the vulnerable first dating phase, or even the not-in-a-relationship pining phase) he would not  be a particularly jealous person. He knows this shit is destiny. He’s got other stuff to worry about in that regard (like being brainwashed yet again and once to many. Would keep him up at night way more than the possibility of Usagi’s eyes falling onto someone else for good, imo.)

A wish: I hope he and Usagi get to have some “normal” time before the Crystal Tokyo spiel. And I hope he and the Tsukinos can bond. And I would love to see more of his college life in fic - y'know, Kobayashi, Saori, etc.

An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen: You know, I think poor boy went through the worst things already that could ever happen to him. I mean - the number of times in the Manga and anime he basically held Usagi by the throat strangling her? Kissing other people? Like, y'know, HIS OWN DAUGHTER? Killing his soulmate? Kicking her lying on the ground? Please not all those ever again. Boy can use a break.

5 words to best describe them: Collected, quiet, worried, determined protector

My nickname for them: Mamo-chan! (Yeah, I’m not creative on that front, lol.)

[floraone]

4, 17, 18 please!

Hello anon!^^

4) What is your favouritegenre to write for?

I really don’t even know if I have a favorite genre, tbh! I loved the epic action in Yugen just as much as I loved the trope-y one-room-show setting in 11 hours - and I guess I love a challenge? Trying to twist things and make them my own, and I guess that could be any genre. Well… Maybe not any, lol. But many.

17) Post a line from a WIPthat you’re working on.

“So, have you seen a little peen atleast, when you snuck a look?”

Usagi’s eyes went wide, before sheblushed a deep red and exploded.

“UGH! Minako! Oh my fucking god!”

Minako beamed right back.

“What??”

“I love it so when you use that word,”Minako sighed almost happily. “Fucking,” she said with a fond, proud smile andmatching voice, all the ‘I taught her so well’ displayed in the sparkle of hereyes.

“UGH!” Usagi’s elbows slumped ontable, and her face into her hands.

18) Do you have anyabandoned WIP’s? What made you abandon them?

I keep a “Master Idea List” where I organize all the fic ideas that have built up over time. These are ideas that already have somewhat of a plot, are mostly a collection of random scenes and plot points, some more thought through than others. That list has currently 24 entries. And when a scene pops into my head, it either gets filed in with some of those if it fits somewhere, or it gets saved up for the future outside of that. That being said - I don’t go about this list all “you’re next.” In fact, when I started this list, 11 Hours was place 19. So, it’s more a, what do I feel like now? list. But, this also means, nothing so far got abandoned - only postponed and moved down a list? I’m sure I’ll abandon some of these ideas, maybe even most of them - but if I do I’m also sure some scenes in the pile will be salvaged for something else!

[floraone]

Hello! I'm a big fan of Ikigai and Yugen. And one thing absolutely shows: your characterization is absolutely PERFECT. Consistently the best. The way you are just IN THEIR HEAD all the time is incredible! Even when I don't agree with them I feel I UNDERSTAND THEM! And as someone who keeps thinking whether to post a fan fic on my own, I wanted to ask how you do it? Btw, good luck on your test!!!

Ok, anon.First of, thank you for that amazing question, I feel totally honored, AND OMGTHANK YOU FOR THAT COMPLIMENT! I’m so flattered you think so!!

And also:OMG YES DO POST YOUR STUFF!!! Put it out there, I beg you!!! I’ve only recentlystarted posting as well, and I can tell you, it’s an amazing hobby. Andrewarding – especially when people like you give me such amazing feedback!!

I’m sorryit took me a while to answer… but well, A) I wanted to give you a good answer,and B) exam period.

Well, firstoff: let me tell you that in my book characterization and understanding goeshand in hand – you cannot characterize a character well if you can’t followtheir way of thinking. It goes together. For a good characterization, you haveto know your characters like you’d know yourself.

And well,for me… most of it comes from knowing these characters for most of my thirtyyears of life. I was OBSESSED with Sailor Moon as a child, and obviously that hasfollowed me into adulthood. I started with the 90s anime, like most of us, andread the Manga parallel to that. I’ve read three translations of the Manga eversince, multiple, countless times, and I used to tape the episodes to watch themover and over and over as a kid, and now I have them on DVD and Blu-Ray. Myfavorite seasons were Stars, S, and the first hilarious R arc with Ail and An.Those are the ones I watched and rewatched again and again, and still do so today.So these are the episodes I’m most familiar with. Classic, R (Chibs) Arc andSuperS I’ve, of course, watched tons of times, as well, but it’s been a while,so I’m not as “fluent” on those. And then all the other incarnations. I loveCrystal, I rewatch it regularly during a rainy day, and yes, even PGSM issomething I like a lot. Everything from the original Japanese image songs, tothose 90s books about each of the characters – I’ve consumed it all. UsaMamowas my first OTP, and it stuck to this day. So yeah, I know these characters,and that makes it a lot easier to get into their heads.

But thatbrings me to my second point. To write a character true to their personality, it’simportant not to project your ownpersonality onto that character. Rather, try to see it from their uniqueperspective. Their own fears, memories, likes and dislikes, personality. Ifthis happened what would it trigger in thisunique person?

Nowobviously it’s still easier with those characters that are most like you - forme that’d be Usagi and Ami. But even, or especially, there - take a step back,ask yourself, what’s you and what’s them?

If this seemsa bit daunting – and it IS hard. So hard, that even the original writers got itwrong an awful shitload of times (like, remember, in Stars, when they just putMakoto, together with the girls, on a plane to uselessly circle the city justto watch a FILM? Makoto’s afraid of planes! Her parents died in a plane crash!And she just sits there enjoying herself? WROOOONG! Wrong wrong wrong!)

What helps:Binge a few of their episodes again, or re read the Manga, re-acquaint yourselfwith them. Or see who these characters remind you off IRL and base them alittle off them - that’s a handy trick, even when it’s got its faults. Do NOT askyourself what you would do in their place, ask yourself what THEY would do.

The keyreally, and I can’t stress this enough, is to understand them. Always remindyourself that every action has a motivation that is reasonable to this person-and this is ESPECIALLY true for the villains, and for scenes in which youyourself wouldn’t agree with their actions. The way I build my scenes- in the POVof one particular character each - lends itself to that easily, as you’re inthat person’s head, basically read his/her thoughts. But the moment youunderstand it, it becomes layered - even if it happens to be the villain.Everyone has reasons. And the moment we understand an action it becomes humanized,and somehow likeable – or at least relatable.

In fact, Igot a lot of comments on Mamoru being so mature and impressive in how he dealtwith Seiya’s feelings for Usagi, in Yugen’s party scene, last chapter?

The factis… Mamoru is an empath. He’s practically a walking book of understanding. Hefeels people’s emotions as if they were his own. And if you feel with them, get an insight into abit of their reasons like that, and understand what they feel like… then you’renot likely to be angry? It’s a bit like… if a stranger acts rude towards you,maybe pushes you away or insults you, something objectively bleh, you’re likelyto get mad at them, curse them, etc. But if you get in their head, and maybesee the shitty day they’ve had, or the way they’ve been treated similarly alltheir life, causing to lash out, or countless other reasons why they might havebehaved the way they did – maybe their parents were shitty people with really derogatoryviews of other human beings, causing a sweet little child to turn bitter andderogatory as well and repeat the cycle… well then, you understand them better,and you’re less likely to be angry with them. (Which totally doesn’t mean youcan’t still find their behavior awful, btw. But you can at least see where they’recoming from?) And, well, that’s what you gotta do with each of your characters.Why does this character behave the way they behave. Why is Ami shy and carefularound people, why is Seiya a smug bastard sometimes, why is Mamoru so smoothand arrogant the one time and then blushes the next?

But yeah…what I want to say, winded and long (sorry!!!) is… understand your characters.Through and through. And write from their perspective, give them reasons forevery single thing they do that is theirs and not yours?

But… don’tbe so hard on yourself about it, either. It’s a daunting task, and I have anunfair advantage here. I’ve mentioned this a lot before, but I’m a psychologistIRL. It’s literally my job to understand people, to know how people react in agiven situation, what influences and motivates them to do things, and tosubtract my own expectations from the equation and dive into who this oneindividual person is. So, characterization actually comes quite easy to me…

There areother things in the writing spectrum that I struggle with immensely, inexchange. My number one battle while writing is probably humor. As I said - mypersonality can be most easily compared to a weird 100%/70% mix between Usagiand Ami. I’ve got no sass in my bones. While I will laugh my arse off at anylame joke, I’m not good at telling them - in fact I’m the person dissolvinginto a puddle of tears of laughter before I got it halfway out. I can’t flirt,I blush easily, and while I appreciate the hell out of irony and sarcasm,people just don’t buy it off me when I try to use it. I’m the good, little,outgoing, righteous, booksmart, empathic, kind idealist. WRITING COMEDY IS SOHARD FOR ME YOU DO NOT UNDERSTAND.

So yeah,this has gotten awfully long, but I hoped this helped you a bit? And I surehope you read this even when’s it’s been a while since you asked me? And if youdo: Seriously – if you’re  thinking aboutputting out fanfic on your own: DO IT! Some aspects of it will be easier thanothers, and that’s normal, too. Just dive in and make it your own!! (And tellme, lol, cause I wanna read it!!!)

Thank youfor your ask!!!!! (Cause shit yeah I love asks, lol)