#As the failure to launch loser uncle | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

shizekarnstein · 5 years ago

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Hi!! Do you want to talk about the other characters who went down the same path Eren's seemingly been going down to? The ones who reminds you of him that you were talking about in your tags? I'd be interested in reading about it!!

Hi sorry it took me so long to answer. I tend to avoid talking about them out of habit and bc I love them so much I could rant and wax poetics for hours, but since you asked...

DO YOU MEAN MY PRECIOUS TRASH LORD ANAKIN SKYWALKER ALIAS DARTH VADER, HUMAN FAILURE EXTRAORDINARY??

Bc I always have a lot of feelings regarding him.

OR MAYBE THE LOSER KNOWN AS LELOUCH VI BRITANNIA WHOM I ALSO LOVE?????

Im on mobile so spoilers for star wars and code geas below.

Anakin in particular is more of an anti hero archetype, but Lelouch fits the mold as well. The difference is that only one of them went closer to the villain border than the other. Also they both died. Anakin tho was the only one who needed redemption, bc his choices oh god his life choices are so horrible. Lelouch at least always remained more or less true to himself since the begging.

Anakin Skywalker started as an innocent bean who lived a harsh life as a slave alongside his mother. Then he was freed and offered with the chance to join the famous Jedi Order. In order to do that he had to leave his mother behind. Years later he reunited with the love of his life, his mom died and he had to fight in a civil war. Since he was like 9 he had a horrible sith lord in disguise whispering sweet poison into his ears, encouraging him to stick to his darker traits. Anakin was prideful, arrogant, quick to anger and a utter failure as a Jedi Knight, because he was never able to master the ability to let go of his attachments in a healthy way. For him it was all or nothing: those precious persons and his love for them weighting more than all institutions and the lives of the Order, the whole galaxy and even himself. When haunted by visions of his secret wife dying he decides to do EVERYTHING to avoid that particular future, pledging himself to the darkside on the promise of learning how to do sith magic that could save her. He renounced his vows as a Jedi, and lead himself the attack to the Jedi Temple with the objetive of wiping out every single one of them. He slaughtered them, even lil children and later the leaders of the other faction of the civil war. And he did it bc he couldn't allow his wife to die. When he thought she had betrayed him by bringing along his old mentor and friend in what he saw an attempt to kill him... he choked her. He force choked his pregnant wife. If that wasn't enough he then engaged in a duel to the death with his old mentor, where he lost all his limbs and was set on fire. Then he became a cyborg and took it as his mission to ensure the might of the new galactic empire was felt. The things he did during that time are unspeakable: genocide, torture, murder, endorsing slavery, you name it. Even when he discovered his son was alive his first instict was to convert him to the darkside and rule the galaxy together. Also he cut off his own sons arm. And tortured his daughter without knowing it was her.

BUT at the end he redeemed himself by choosing to save the life of his son and throwing his horrible mentor and slave master, the emperor, down a tube. He died peacefully in the arms of his son, finally able to do the right thing after more than twenty years of living as a monster. I cry.

Lelouch tho... he's just a 19 yo that commited suicide. As a child his mother was killed, his lil sister crippled and when he demanded answers from his father the emperor, was sent alongside his sister as political hostages to Japan. There the two of them lived as beggars in a shed. They befriend the son of the political figure who was hosting them... and then Japan was invaded. Bc of resources. The three children had to wander through a war raged countryside filled with destruction and corpses. Before parting ways with their friend Susaku (who also is just such a tragic figure) he vowed to one day destroy Britannia.

Years later they reunited and Lelouch mets a witch who gave him a supernatural power called geass, which allowed him to mind control people. He decides to use it to form a rebellion with the japanese people and extract his revenge. But things go horrible wrong: he accidentally killed civillians, including the father of a dear friend of his. An ex aquietance of C.C the witch hunts him down and left him with no other choice but to erase the memory of one of his friends. Also causes his old friend Suzaku to have a breakdown bc as a child he kinda killed his own father??? Suzaku btw joined up with the britannian army and pilots a special robot that always mess with Lelouchs terrorist plans. Then he accidentally gives a command to his half sister, resulting in her giving an order to genocide thousand of civillians bc he loses control over his powers. And decides to capitalise on that and use it to fuel the rebels. Also he kills her. The rebellion fails bc his long lost uncle kidnaps his sister and tells Suzaku that Lelouch was Zero the rebel. Then he gets mindfucked by the emperor, forgetting who he was and even his sister. Then C.C and the rebels find him and restore his memories but has to keep it a secret bc he doesn't know what the emperor could do to his missing sister. That and he has the secret service watching over his every move.

Long story short his second rebellion fails, his false brother dies, his sister apparently dies again, his troops betray him, and if that wasn't enough he discovers his mom wasn't dead but in cohorts with his father to enact a crazy plan to erase individuality and unite humanity as single entity. Also that his parents never loved him and his sister. He kills them and teams up with Suzaku and C.C to enact a fancy plan that involves him presenting himself as a devil and taking over the world, all in hopes of unifying humanity by becoming a symbol of hatred and all the bad things that ever happened. He launches atomic bombs, spills seas of blood and literally chains up his sister who hey was alive and opposing him bc you know he acted as a crazy villain. He also mindcontroled her. In the end he arranges his own suicide by having his best friend dressed as Zero kill him in front of the cameras, and dies in his sisters arms, universally hated by everybody. It's sad as fuck. At least the sequel movie fixed that so cheers?????

Thanks for asking!!!!

#anon replies #anakin skywalker #lelouch vi britannia #my tragic trash sons

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the-resurrection-3d · 6 years ago

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Having a very sustained anxiety attack so I’m just gonna post some of what I was writing before I had to take the L. This would take place during part two of ETF but all you need to know is that Tord is a zombie.

Warnings for: mentions of necrophilia, rape (none shown), implied alcoholism and drug abuse

Pairing: mentioned Edd/Tom/Tord

One of Tord's best defenses against cravings is to read all his fan-mail from necrophiliacs.

A lot of them are pretty standard for a celebrity, at least so Tord assumes -- you've changed my life, helped me through hard times, bladdy blah blah. Perhaps that's what that woman Stella Day was going on about with "inspiration porn."

The DSM-V has ten different classifications of necrophiliac, from simply roleplaying 1s to warmth-repellent 10s only able to perform with a bonafide corpse. Tord isn't really sure why that would catch on, of all things, especially when the UK doesn't use the DSM-V anyway -- makes it all sound like a video game, a leveling-system based on how much a social failure you are.

He likes to pretend the numbers they identify themselves as are the inverses of how attractive they are beyond the page. He likes to pretend his hands aren't shaking. He likes to pretend he has sweat glands left to make the pages wet.

In his lap, Ringo purrs.

----

Ringo is the best cat a man could ever ask for. Sure, Tord had never had a cat before he'd moved in with Edd and Tom, but any cat that doesn't scratch at him when he picks her and screams into her soft, furry body is alright by him.

She simply murps, looks at him as if to ask, rather kindly, what the fresh hell he thinks he's doing. He holds her in his arms like a newborn infant, forcing trembling lips up in a smile as he presses a kiss to her forehead, lets her lick at his finger. Cats love dead things, after all.

---

"You have my eyes," Tord says softly in a language he knows she doesn't understand, raising up one of her paws for a gentle hi-five.

Something crashes -- a loud curse -- and Ringo dashes off into the dark abyss of the living room, her back claws cutting a clean wide line down the top of Tord's foot.

A questioning noise from Tord, moving to the cupboard for the duct tape.

“Jammed my fuckin' toe," Tom grouses from down the hall, his door swinging open. "Fucking hate Christmas."

Saint Nick just loves messing with you personally, Tord thinks, remaining silent as Tom appears before him, Edd's dinosaur pajamas clutched tight around him like a blanket.

Ah, the eternal duality of Thomas: loves to sleep alone, loves more to steal his boyfriends' clothes.

"My luck always gets worse around the holidays – ever notice that?" A full-body shiver as Tom shoulders past Tord to the fridge -- to his vodka. "Even the alcohol's somehow always worse! Like you have entirely new drinks just for getting smashed on Christmas and yet it all sucks. And it's fucking freezing, how are you not cold?"

Tord clears his throat. Tom pulls his head out of the fridge, looks at the clock on the microwave. 1:30am.

Tom shrugs. "I'll move my 10 am bottle to 10:15.” Tom pulls out his latest – still half-full from Edd gently chiding it out of his hands when Tom had gotten so sloshed he couldn’t even cut his own slice of pizza, and Tord had only watched and chewed his nails and thought of Tom’s mother. Tom looks as though he’s waiting for Tord to say something, but Tord doesn’t.

When Tom passes him again, Tom taps his shoulder, says he’s bleeding, says to turn the heat up, and then once he’s out into the hall again and banging a loose limb on the closet door: “Extra blankets in here.”

---

Tord feels like a harp whose strings are being plucked by some bird of prey mistaking them for stubborn worms.

---

Tord opens the fridge, closes. Opens, closes. Chews gum. Paces. Goes to his lab and chews some of his brain tissue samples – Romeros don’t hit the spot, not at all, but they’re grey and slimy and if he pretends hard enough then –

He plays his guitar and sings those songs that have always calmed him, making up what he can’t remember. Classical guitar done with jagged, dirty nails.

Sweet communist, the communist daughter, standing on the seaweed water…

He wishes Matt were here. Matt never perform without a fix.

---

Soundproof walls, steel everywhere to take his punches and kicks. Inside the harp’s strings are corroding in acid and he can hear it. No blood roaring in his ears, not even the scuttle of insects or the spreading of fungi’s’ thin, groping fingers. The foul, diseased magic that keeps a corpse upright sounds like a dull, mechanical droning.

Or like elevator music, slowed waaaay the fuck down.

The scene from the movie, the torso flailing about on the lab table, her brown skin stretched taut over what was left of her face like plastic wrap after all the air has been sucked out. Her naked spine wiggling back and forth, back and forth. “The pain of being dead.”

At 2:25 am Tord stumbles out into the white-streaked night and feels his knees sink into the still-piling snow. It’s not melting. He scoops some up into his hands and imagines the snowman in the front yard is himself as he launches a hard-packed ball at the back of its head. It doesn’t fall off. Damn.

Tom is too drunk and Edd too heavy a sleeper to notice if he goes back inside and gets the flamethrower, right?

----

It’s not entirely festive – the problem with Romeros is that along with sound, they’re attracted to bright, flashing lights, so all the strings of varicolored bulbs that normally would dress each building have been or are currently being pulled down by some slack-jawed mouth-breather, groans muffled by the crunch of glass under their broken, yellow teeth.

“Bror!” He calls to each of them. “God jul, søte bror! God jul!”

They wave back. Big, empty smiles.

---

One of the things zombie-hunters like to do is start fires in trashcans and either blow the can up or pick off their targets one-by-one from the rooftops. The collectors,— game-rangers, organ thieves, and necrophiliacs—they try and get you alone.

That was always one of the things his father would warn him about during one of his attempts to dissuade Tord from following in his uncle’s footsteps: your drug dealer could rob you, rape you, string you up like a Christmas ham, or God knows what.

What Tord heard was: trust no one.

So Tord looks for the familiar flag in the window of the mortuary: red, white, gray, and black.

He can remember Edd designing it, what feels like so long ago: red for blood; white for maggots (aka a little extra fun); gray for the color of zombified flesh; black for being a black-pilled incel loser. Tord feels his skin inch.

He’s only wearing the sweater and jeans he’d fallen asleep in. How terribly unsexy; he leans against the dusty brick wall to roll the cuff of his pants up, exposing his prosthetic to the cold, howling air. Fixes his hair best as he can in the dark glass.

What had Matt called him? The face that launched a thousand freaks?

A wink, a finger gun to his reflection. The flamethrower left in the trashcan just out of view from the door.

#eddsworld #ew tord #2d nonsense #posting fic is actually really calming ngl

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sublimedeal · 7 years ago

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Or how to crank out a moneymaking promotion FAST when the “wolf is at the door”… you need money NOW… but don’t have much (or ANY) experience writing moneymaking copy. The only solutions I’ve been able to offer in the past involved spending months or YEARS writing out successful copy by hand. And paying your dues for years on end. Writing copy, “running it up the flagpole” and watching it bomb 9 times out of 10. It’s a BRUTAL process. (I know. It’s how I learned.) And it’s a process that discourages and blows out lots of potentially great future multi-million dollar copywriters. Until now. After decades of study… often searching in the strangest of places… Terry and I have come up with something better. Actually… Exponentially Better! And… I’ve never seen ANYBODY reveal it. (Probably because very, very few are able to understand the science and psychology behind it.) Terry and I are using some new stuff we’ve discovered about brain and nervous system biology (and a few other tricks up our sleeves) that will let you “upload” our copywriting abilities into your brain… really fast. How fast? You should see a HUGE improvement in only 30 days. However… it gets even better… You can start making money with it even FASTER. If you have a website, email list, snail mail list or followers on social media that have been limping along… and you haven’t been able to monetize those assets… You can start making money — in some cases a significant amount of money — the very DAY you get your hands on this! That’s why Terry and I have teamed up. We want to show you how to create sales copy that resonates so deeply with your prospect’s “buying emotions”… and paints such meticulously detailed and impassioned word pictures in their minds… It Makes Your Offers IRRESISTIBLE! If you’re starting to get excited about this opportunity, that’s great. I hope you ARE excited. But before you get TOO excited I have to tell you this: The reason you’re not enjoying an income and lifestyle like I’ve described in this letter is simple. Actually, there are two reasons: First, if you want to build your business as fast as possible… and make as much money as possible… you have to send out a LOT of offers. And send them frequently. But that’s a problem. Because most business owners wayyy underestimate how many new offers they need… and how frequently they need to promote those offers to their customers. That’s why most are always stuck in a frustrating “pull your hair out” plateau. You see… sending out a lot of offers… and sending them frequently… requires sales copy. A LOT of sales copy. And the “skull sweat” and time required to do that is a substantial investment. More than most business owners have time for. So unless you have the financial means to hire a top-notch copywriter, your growth and income will always be limited. Because YOU are the kink in the hose. Why? It’s simple. In addition to the 1,001 plates you’re spinning while struggling to run your business… you simply don’t have the time to produce all the sales copy needed to fuel the engine of your business. There’s a second reason you’re not enjoying the income and lifestyle I’ve described in this letter. It’s also the #1 reason why your sales copy has been limping along and under-performing… or not performing at all. But I want you to know something. It’s not your fault. Because… Almost Everything You’ve Been Taught About Copywriting Is WRONG! The Internet is crawling with wet-behind-the-ears rookies who have hung out their shingle promoting themselves as a “copywriting expert.” Truth be told, the only experience most of those posers have is taking an online course that ALLEGEDLY certified them as a copywriter. Look, maybe they’re good writers. That doesn’t matter. Because if they don’t have actual in-the-trenches experience… If they’ve never had their back to the wall, FORCED to make sales or risk going broke, getting evicted and eating out of dumpsters… …then you simply can’t trust these guys. And you most DEFINITELY can’t trust the most important aspect of your business — your marketing — to these “fake experts.” Listen, being a “good writer” (whatever that means) doesn’t mean jack crap. Hardly any of those posers have the guts to put their money where their mouth is. I’m talking about investing their OWN money to prove that their copy works. But… they’re MORE than happy to use YOUR money to test their unproven rookie copywriting abilities. And many will gladly take your money in exchange for their “expert” advice… even though they’ve never successfully done what it is they’re claiming as their expertise. If you’ve been getting your copywriting advice from those guys, THAT is why I say it’s not your fault. Because… You’ve Been Deceived! And Terry and I are gonna set the record straight. Once and for all. You’re going to get the REAL scoop on how to create order-generating copy. And how to crank it out as fast as possible. From two “bootstrap entrepreneurs” who have been doing this week in and week out… month after month… for more than two decades. Often with nothing more than our brain, a notepad, a pen… and a couple hundred bucks credit left on the Visa card to invest in advertising. And in my case, I’ve used this system to crank out sales copy at the last minute. In the final hour. When I was so desperate for money, I was packing my suitcases getting ready for the impending eviction order. (Sadly, that’s NOT a joke or exaggeration.) You see, I’ve had some EXTREME financial ups and downs in my first 20 years as an entrepreneur. Yet time after time… this system has always brought in the cash I needed. Predictably, dependably and unfailingly. Like clockwork. In some cases… in as few as 24 hours. In fact, this system works so FAST… Terry even used it to create $96,250 out of thin air… in just a couple hours… IN FRONT OF A LIVE AUDIENCE! The copy he used to do that was assembled by the very process you’re about to discover in our newest release… “The 60-Minute Copy Cure!” You’re going to get our combined 44 years experience creating winning sales copy. But this isn’t a boring “study ‘til you’re blue in the face/hand write classic copy controls for months on end�� course. I’ll leave that to the legion of other people hawking copywriting courses. In fact, this isn’t really a “learn copywriting” course at all. (Although it WILL help you do that if that’s your ultimate goal.) What it is REALLY… is… A Shortcut To Creating Cash Generating Sales Copy… FAST! In some cases IMMEDIATELY. Because we’re not going to complicate things. (Although many in our weird wee world do that so they can drive up their prices.) But not us. Because really, making money online is pretty simple. So we’ve cut out all the fluff and made it as simple as possible. In fact, I’ve personally made a SYSTEM out of simple. (Remember, I barely made it out of Barberton High School… so it HAS to be simple for me.) You see, I don’t just teach regular copywriting. I teach what I like to call JSTDT™ copywriting. Which is so powerful… and so effective… It Almost FORCES People To Buy What You’re Selling! JSTDT™ is my proprietary marketing and copywriting system. It’s the exact same system I’ve used the past 22 years to live a lifestyle better than most Fortune 500 CEOs… while only working a fraction of the time. It’s also the very same system I’ve used to get paid as much as $2.3 million from writing one single ad. (To be 100% transparent, this was NOT a copywriting client gig. It was a print ad for one of my own businesses. And in every magazine and newspaper where it ran… in EVERY insertion… it brought in a 3-to-1 and as much as a 6-to-1 return on investment… for three straight years… with not so much as one single comma changed during that entire time.) JSTDT™ stands for “Just Sell The Damn Thing™”… and here’s what it’s all about: Do you have the time and patience to spends months or years of your life creating content to “build a relationship” with people who have never bought anything from you? People who come to you with their hands out, asking you to give them free stuff? If you do, I hope you have a sizeable stashola of cashola. Because that approach requires a LOT of money. And a lot of time waiting until you FINALLY make a little money. (If you EVER make any money.) In fact, one of my clients, Agora — one of the best direct marketers in the world, earning more than $1 BILLION a year in sales — told me that even they don’t have enough cash to make that model work anymore. Sure, it worked for them in the past. But it required millions of dollars and 12 months without making any money from each new customer to keep that model going. That’s why they abandoned it back in 2007. And if it isn’t working for THEM, what makes you think it will work for YOU? Here’s the bottom line: You Need More Customers And More Business, Right? Then there’s no need to screw around with all those complicated, convoluted and confusing multistep funnels… 4,001 question surveys… 7,007-step “if/then” auto responder sequences… Content marketing… writing blog posts for months or years on end without even one single sale to show for all your blood sweat and tears… Search engine optimization… YouTube videos… social media… And all the other things you’ve tried that have never worked for you. If you want to make money and get new customers RIGHT NOW… you simply need to… Just Sell The Damn Thing™! And that’s exactly what Terry and I are going to show you. It’s the simplest way to start making more money FAST. Now here’s the most exciting part: And why I say that this is a shortcut to moneymaking copy. A shortcut that can get you making money the very same day you get the product… literally. When you join us in The 60-Minute Copy Cure… You Get The Rights To “Steal” Our Most Successful Copy! Not word-for-word. That just doesn’t work. However, you’re going to have the ability to “synthesize” new sales generating copy by using our system of modeling our proven copy. Terry and I have done all of the heavy lifting for you. All YOU have to do is follow our simple instructions and “fill in the blanks” to adapt the copy to your product, your offer and your business. In fact, we even give you “fill in the blanks” templates that show you every single word, detail and phrase you need to insert about your product and business. It’s As Close To “Done-For-You” As We Can Possibly Make It! This is the exact same system I used in my supplement business that allowed me to take a two-year “mini retirement.” While the business chugged along bringing in cash like an automatic money machine. Picture it… You wake up each morning feeling optimistic and excited. Because you know that your short working day consists of about 60 minutes adapting and “synthesizing” new copy based on the proven templates we provide. Then all you have to do is queue up an email. That’s it for the whole day! You can go do whatever it is you want for the rest of the day. Because you know that your new sales copy will be working for you… generating sales and profits while you live your life doing whatever you want to do. And more importantly, NOT doing any of the things you DON’T want to do. The things you’ve had to do in the past because you needed the paycheck. When you have a system like this working for you, yes you have money. But you have something much more important than just material wealth. You have…

Doberman Dan and Terry Dean – 60 Minute Copy Cure published first on http://ift.tt/2qxBbOD

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