#Arthur Pendragon has an existential crisis

[imthursdaysyme]

[merlinfic]

Hi! There is a fic I worry might've been deleted. It was a story where Arthur has crushes on both the Dolma and Dragoon and he has no idea why. It's only at the end he realizes it's because he's just attracted to merlin, no matter his form. I'm pretty sure it was rated M cause I'm fairly sure they have sex at the end

Hiya! Is it Arthur Pendragon's Poor Taste in Men by violetsarefuckingpurple?

Summary: Developing a fast crush on the person you love while they are in disguise is a very romantic trope, unless the person you are in love with disguises himself exclusively as old people and gives you an existential crisis about your apparent GILF kink. Featuring: Arthur slowly having a mental breakdown, Sexy Magic, and Merlin having a generally good time.

[hadjalterdoneanythingwrong]

TYPE: LIVE SURVEILLANCE FEED [CONTINGENCY RECORD]

PARTIES: Five [5]. One Heroic Spirit, Class Saber, designate Artoria Pendragon [ap]; One Heroic Spirit, Class Saber, designate Mordred Pendragon [mp]; One Heroic Spirit, Class Shielder, designate Mash Kyrielight [mk]; One Heroic Spirit, Class Saber, designate [REDACTED] [S]; One Master, designate Ritsuka Fujimaru [c]

ASSOCIATIONS: [REDACTED]; Pendragon, Artoria; Muramasa, Senji; du Soleil, Gawain; du Lac, Lancelot; du Cygne, Percival; Kyrielight, Galahad; Kyrielight, Mash; de Listenois, Lamorak; Fujimaru, Ritsuka; Avtalos, Ayamari

//AUDIO PRESERVED//

//TRANSCRIPT FOLLOWS.../

[ap:01] Mordred, good. You're here.

[mp:01] Hey, dad. They happen to tell you what this is all about?

[ap:02] I believe Mash mentioned something about a Heroic Spirit that was recently summoned. Perhaps another Knight of the Round?

[mp:02] Wouldn't they have called every knight we have if it was? Has to be a reason it's just us.

[ap:03] ...Do you think it might be an intervention?

[mp:03] Oh, totally. There is definitely some kinda ~Pendragon family counseling~ waiting for us right behind this—

[silence]

[mp:04] ...You don't think—

[ap:04] No. No. There's...

[mp:05] There's no way they'd call us if they summoned... her, right?

[ap:05] No, no, even if they did, it would be just to show us the Rare Prisms.

[silence]

[mp:06] ...Implying she'd be worth more than one.

[ap:06] Imagine.

[mk:01] Um... I think we're ready.

[mp:07] ...Ready?

[ap:07] Ready for what?

[mk:02] It's... better just to show you.

[audible footsteps]

[ap:08] Ritsuka? What— ...What is—

[c:01] I know this may be hard for you two to understand... and I just want to assure you two that everything's going to be alright.

[mp:08] I... don't get it. The hell are you talking about?

[c:02] I understand that this may be throwing everything you know out the window. That this might even be causing some level of an existential crisis. Especially for you, Artoria.

[ap:09] I'm... not sure we follow, Ritsuka. Is there something we're missing?

[silence]

[c:03] ...Do you not see him?

[mp:09] Who are we supposed to be seeing?

[c:04] How can you not see him, he's— DUDE.

[audible cluttering noises]

[audible things getting tossed]

[audible confusion]

[c:05] DUDE HE WAS JUST HERE.

[ap:10] I'm sorry... who was?

[sonic boom]

[mk:03] Senpai... that sounded like it came from the cafeteria.

[c:06] Oh my fucking god of course it did.

[audible hurried footsteps]

[audible hurried footsteps]

[audible hurried footsteps]

[c:07] I can't believe him, I can't fucking— I shouldn't be this mad, he's a cool guy, I should've had things prepared earlier, god, why did they put me in charge of this, again??

[mk:04] To be fair, Senpai, you are kind of the most well-versed in his history out of everyone here...

[c:08] Look, here he is.

[mk:05] Is that... Cat with a mountain of—

[audible scream]

[mp:10] Dad!!

[audible... whooshy noises?]

[S:01] Sorry for scaring you earlier, lady. Though I don't know if I can say the same about the other "Blue Blur" in the room right now.

[whoosh]

[S:02] So you're that "King Arthur" I've been told about, huh? Sure hope you don't plan on jumping on a horse and trying to cut me into pieces like the last one.

[audible stuttering]

[audible failure at speech]

[audible squeak]

[mp:11] Don't mind her. It's early for all of us. Pretty sure I know who you are, but literal identity theft is surprisingly not uncommon here. So just to be sure, you are...?

[S:03] I getcha. Had a plumber friend who had his body stolen by a paper ghost, once. Said it was the most horrifying thing he'd ever gone through. ...Well, sure hope I am who you think I am, 'cause the name's Sonic. Sonic the Hedgehog!

[audible handshake]

[mp:12] Mordred Pendragon. Son of King Arthur. ...Big fan.

/...END TRANSCRIPT//

[winterinhimring]

A BBC Merlin Concept:

“The Death Song of Uther Pendragon,” except instead of summoning Uther, Arthur uses the horn to call his mother.

Maybe he figures that his only memory of her is of a magical deception (he thinks) and decides he’d like at least one real one. Maybe his mind just wanders to her when he’s doing the summoning. Either way, Ygraine is the one who meets him inside the veil.

There are no harsh words or recriminations, no accusations of weakening Camelot. Ygraine Pendragon is a very proud mother. She would support Arthur no matter what he was doing, but she also genuinely thinks he’s doing the right thing.

Arthur still looks back as he goes back into the world of the living. Ygraine’s spirit is released into the world just as Uther’s was. Unlike Uther, however, Ygraine has no interest in rattling doors, knocking down chandeliers, or setting fires. She does have an interest in getting to know her son’s knights (she’s a smart lady, she knows that they’re more like brothers than vassals to him) but most especially his wife. She sets out to be the Team Mom, and the fact that she’s invisible and intangible is not about to stop her. She is a Pendragon, after all, and they are nothing if not tenacious.

Percival doesn’t have an axe throw itself at him. His vambrace politely unlatches itself and sets itself in his hand and he has never been more confused. (Gawain gets smacked, gently, on the head by his glove when his teasing gets a little too sharp. He is also confused.)

Gwen doesn’t get knocked out and nearly set on fire. She keeps finding wildflowers and trinkets in her room, because Ygraine can’t actually communicate with her and wants to make friends anyway. She kind of thinks Arthur is having a romantic fit or something but Arthur’s denying everything so she’s just confused too.

Ygraine catches Merlin doing magic for something entirely mundane, figures out the situation pretty quickly, and immediately adds him to the “to adopt” list because he’s got to be something special to have stuck around her wonderful but slightly bratty son that long, especially when it puts him in so much personal danger. 

Because Ygraine is being nice and not breaking things, it takes much longer for everyone in Camelot to figure out what’s happened. When they finally do, it takes a lot of convincing to get the knights to let her go, because as soon as they find out about her team mom schtick they adopt her right back. Finally, Gaius has to cook up a massive batch of his seeing-ghosts potion, and Ygraine talks to all of them, and admits that this isn’t her place or her time, and that Arthur has to send her back. She’s immeasurably grateful to have met them all, she says. She hopes that Arthur keeps on going as he is going, and recommends that he legalise magic -- after all, how many times has Merlin saved him with his powers? (Arthur has a mild existential crisis at this point but puts it off for later because his mom is talking.) She promises to carry a message to Tom, for Gwen, and to Balanor for Merlin. In the end she gets a message from just about everyone, because who wouldn’t take the chance to send a letter across the veil to a loved one who’s gone on?

When Arthur blows the horn again, what echoes in his ears is not his father’s angry yells, but his mother’s whisper of So, so proud...

There’s not a dry eye in the room when she does disappear. Everyone, of course, stoutly denies this.

Magic is quietly but firmly decriminalised. Mordred never has a reason to betray Arthur, and he never has the time, either, even if he wanted to -- he’s far too busy being the Round Table’s first sorcerer-knight, with occasional consultation from Merlin, who somehow goes on carrying out the duties of Arthur’s manservant in the intervals of helping to save the entire Round Table from the latest world-ending threat and studying with Gaius (whose beloved Helen returns from her exile to help him found Camelot’s first magical hospital) and Mordred.

When Morgana meets them on the battlefield (it was always going to happen, one way or another), Merlin and Mordred close ranks in front of Arthur before he can do anything about it. Against a Druid, trained from birth, and the world’s most powerful sorcerer who at last has no need to hide, Morgana never stood a chance. (Arthur tries to talk her down, one last time, brother to sister. Maybe there’s a moment when she wavers. Maybe not. Maybe she flees the battlefield and goes into exile rather than kill herself trying to kill him. Maybe she will not flee, and falls.)

Camelot stands, and Arthur comes home, and the knights laugh and slap Merlin and Mordred on the back and spin tall tales about their defeat of Morgana, each more impossible than the last, and everything is, finally, all right.