#Arthur Leclerc x Male Oc

[481mclarg]

Scared to love you | AL65

★ I've never been good at telling people how I feel, but you make me want to try

STLY       •       FANFIC + SMAU

          • Arthur Leclerc x Male!Oc Driver

Warning: homophobia. absence of emotional - parental support.

★          introduction. | one. | two. | three. | four. | five. | six. | seven. | eight. | nine. |

[📲 ] Incoming call…

🔊          «Didn't we have an agreement on the use of your social media accounts?»

          —I had to publish something. —

          «You know very well that it’s not true»

          —Why not? Because of sponsors? Everyone pretends to care about gays this month. —

🔊      .                            .                            .

          «What's wrong with you? Since when do you act like this?»

          —Since I got tired, Giancarlo. I'm sick of everything. —

🔊      .                            .                            .

          —I-... No- I don't care what my father said. He hasn't even called me for two years. —

🔊      .                            .                            .

          —This is my life. It's the only one I have. The only one where I can try to be happy. —

          «And the only one where you have a career to take care of and a contract to fulfill»

          —I know very well what my contract says. You made me read it hundreds of times. None of this breaks it. —

🔊      .                            .                            .

          «I repeat the question, Matteo. Why?»

          —Because I wanted to! —he could almost hear something inside him breaking. The barriers. The ones he himself had created, the only thing that prevented him from being himself. —I wanted to do something, and I did it. —he wanted to.

          He was able to do something because he simply wanted to do it.

          The silence on the other end of the line was absolute. He was still afraid, but he had already come too far to back out. He had already reached the limit.

          «Is all this because of him?»

          —All this is because I love him. —

[ 📲  ] Call ended.

          —It's okay, Tteo. That's what a friend is for. You can call them when you screw up by yelling at your coach because you're in love with your best friend. —He shrugged. —Even if it’s twelve o'clock at night, on a race weekend. —

          —And what's a friend supposed to do now? —He put his hands in his pants pockets, nervous, looking only at the sidewalk they were walking on. Those familiar streets, which flooded him with memories.

          —I don't know what others would do, but I'm going to tell you that, in fact, you were an idiot. —Surprised, almost indignant, Matteo turned to look at him. —But, it's not even your fault. —

          —What...? —

          —Were you ever able to talk to your parents or Giancarlo if you liked someone? —The boy, slowly, shook his head. —Did Giancarlo ever ask you how you felt? —before he could answer, he added: —and you know I'm not talking about physical health. —

          —I don't think so... —

          —Did he ever let you cry when you lost or celebrate your victories with real emotion? Did he let you talk about what you felt? Did he ever let you feel? —Matteo couldn't answer. —You didn't know how to handle the situation, that's all; but, now you can learn from this and handle the situation with Arthur better. —the Italian listened to him attentively.

          —...And what am I supposed to have learned? —

          —I hope you have learned that feeling is okay, that nothing determines who you are as a driver more than what you do on the track. Giancarlo, the people, and you have to understand that. —Out of the corner of his eye, he saw him nod, his gaze glued to the ground as they followed their slow but constant pace. He seemed to be studying what he was saying, what he found funny.

          In the end, changing Lombardi's mentality was impossible. At least he saw hope in him adapting and accepting the facets that he consciously or unconsciously had forced himself to repress.

          —Learn to do this: talk. Talk to Giancarlo, talk to your friends, to Arthur. Talk sincerely. —

          —Do you think I should talk to him this weekend... or better-? —

          —I also hope you learn to fear less. —he interrupted. Lombardi was silent for a few seconds before nodding again.

[ 💻 ] Google News.

June 22, 2024.

[BREAKING] Giancarlo Girotti has reportedly resigned as coach and representative of Matteo Lombardi.

After working alongside him from the start, Girotti has reportedly let go of his star pupil. Lombardi is rumored to be already working with Ferrari staff, while he finds a new coach and manager.

[ 📱 ] WhatsApp.

June 22, 2024.

481MCLARG | 28 . 01 . 2025 | CORREGIDO

[481mclarg]

Scared to love you | AL65

★ I've never been good at telling people how I feel, but you make me want to try.

STLY       •       FANFIC + SMAU.

                            • Arthur Leclerc x Male!Oc driver

« K » The warnings will change in each chapter to be as specific as possible, so I recommend always reading them.

Warnings: (Excessive) self-demand. !! English is not my first lenguaje. I'm trying my best.

★          introduction. | one. | two. | three. | four. | five. | six. | seven. | eight. | nine. |

          Now, in Formula 3, what worried him most were his teammates, Arthur and Dennis.

          With the Norwegian winning the championship, it only showed that he also had the chance. They had the same car, everything depend in the table, tenth pace. He was not worried, but he respected him as a driver.

          Respecting the other drivers seemed to be the greatest affection he was capable of feeling for them.

          «Who would you say is your best friend on the grid?» was asked one day, and, from a distance, Giancarlo watched with a smile as his young pupil said: “There is no time to make friends in a competition.”

          He did not have a bad relation with his teammates, despite making it very clear that he did not consider them friends or that he would not help them in race if the team ever asked him to.

          He knew they would not do it either, or they would be idiots for doing it.

          In his second year competing in Formula 3 and being teammates with Arthur, his feelings about not making friends were beginning to change a little. Very little.

[ 📱 ] Instagram. September 2022.

@/prema_team

♡ liked by dennishauger, olliebearman, dinobeganovic, and others...

prema_team: working hard🤸‍♂️

👥️ tag: olliebearman, arthurleclerc, matteolombardi

user289: what the hell is Arthur doing

user514: ollie-arthur-matteo my trio fav🫶

user27: the stuff prema makes this poor guys do😭😭

user200: I love seeing these guys together❤️

user289: arth calling Matteo "Lolo"😭🫶

          ↳ user82: and Matteo calls Arthur "Lelec"😿

16th October, 2022.

@/arthurleclerc

♡ Liked by matteolombardi, olliebearman, charlesleclerc, dinobeganovic, and others...

arthurleclerc: happy birthday to big bro & me!

👥️ tag: charlesleclerc

user299: THAT'S MATTEO ??

user22: happy bday kings‼️♥️

user8: big day for prema girlies

user829: matteo going out with the other drivers 🥺🥺

          In the middle of the Leclerc’s birthday party, Lombardi seemed to remember that Arthur’s older brother was now a Formula 1 driver. He saw how the boys with whom he once fought on the track were now adult men talking to each other. All friendly, now that they had grown up.

          Among all of them, Max Verstappen stood out. World champion, known enemy of Charles -especially in their first competitive years- and Lombardi’s former competition. Now he was there, talking and laughing with the Monegasque like two friends.

          Verstappen was no longer the impulsive boy he used to compete with; the one who fought over who pushed the other out the track, and he saw that reflected in the friendship he had with the brunette.

          The Italian watched them from afar, understanding that they had both matured. They were adults now, two top category drivers. Would he also be friends with others when they are all on the same level? Would he be invited to the birthday parties of all those with whom he had run-ins on the track? Would he forgive all those who spoke ill of him on camera or behind his back?

          —Everything okay, Lolo? —Arthur asked, approaching him, while hunched over in a chair, away from the rest, playing with the glass he had in his hands. Leclerc did not know if it was some alcoholic drink and his lost look was due to drunkenness, or if it was just Matteo being himself, isolated from everyone even at a party.

          —Yes, all ok. —with a slight smile that caught him off guard, he agreed to follow the youngest of the Leclerc brothers to go back to the others, just as Max had done with Charles seconds before, trying to distract himself a little and stop thinking for, at least, that evening.

          Maybe talking to the other drivers was not so bad.

[ 📱 ] Instagram. 1st December, 2022.

@/matteolombardi

♡ Liked by olliebearman, dennishauger, arthurleclerc, prema_team and others...

matteolombardi: what a season! let's go for a better 2023

👥️ tag: prema_team, dennishauger, olliebearman, arthurleclerc.

prema_team: 🤞🤞

user62: lots of emotions

dennishauger: was missing you, man. see you next year🫡

↳ Liked by matteolombardi

olliebearman: 🫶

↳ Liked by matteolombardi

arthurleclerc: luv u bro

          ↳ matteolombardi: ♥️

user751: not arthur & tteo flirting in the comments

          ↳ user794: bro (affectionate)

[ 📲 ] New notifications.

WhatsApp. New group: "2022 dinner"

[ 📲 ] Incoming call...

"Giancarlo."

🔊 «Now do you have time to make friends?»

          “Getting to Formula 1 is going to be more rewarding than wasting time at dinners and parties”, he though during the toast at the end of the night, and he repeated it on his way back to home. “It all depends on me. Discipline.” He was always alone. Why should it be any different now? “There is only room for one person at the top of the podium.”

          The alcohol in his blood tried to convince him to continue attending events, that he could have a good time, that he could afford to have friends. With a few hours of sleep, he was able to think clearly again. “I don’t need them”, he looked at the ceiling of his small apartment, as if there was something interesting there. “I only need me. I only have me.”

          It was always just him. No one is going to help him. No one is going to help him achieve his goals. Why should he be friends with other drivers?

          Giancarlo was right; he could not lose his focus. Not now that he signed for the Prema Formula 2 team, not now that he was so close.

          By 2023, he had to be thankful that his teammate was Hauger. The Norwegian already knew what he was like, and even though he did not understand him, he respected him.

          He did not need anything else, just professional relationships. Hauger was content with the conversations they had, although sometimes they seemed to be strangers and other times best friends.

          Sometimes Matteo seemed to want to talk or have someone talk to him, looking at the others with puppy eyes, bet without really getting involved.

          Matteo was always a mystery to him, one he could never understand, but one he learned to live with.

          He knew that trying to approach and ask was in vain. The boy did not talk about his life; he was not willing to have conversations that did not relate to cars.

[ 🗺; 🇮🇹 ] MONZA. 2nd September, 2023.

@/matteolombardi

♡ Liked by arthurleclerc65, dennishauger, officialmpmotorsports, and others...

matteolombardi: italy♥️🤍💚

          —My brother will probably celebrate his birthday at home again. —Arthur mentioned the morning of the Monza Grand Prix. Everyone on pit-lane, wasting time until the qualifying begins. Matteo wasn’t actually with them, but he was already sitting there with Hauger when Leclerc and Bearman arrived to talk to the Norwegian. —I was thinking about going to a club that night. — They left the idea of ​​celebrating his birthday in a European club up in the air. They also discussed the possibility of taking a couple days of vacations, taking advantage of how easy it was to cross the continent.

          They were called from their teams to prepare and get into their cars, since there were just a few minutes left before qualifying began.

          —And-, Lolo… —the younger turned around at the nickname, despite having the MP mechanics waiting for him. —You are invited. Although I don’t know if you’ll have… time… —he murmured, knowing that the relation that year had been very different from the previous one.

          He knew that time wasn’t the real reason why he always declined invitations. He could not be sure if it was due to the change of team or his personality itself. Matteo did not understand it either.

          —I’ll think about it. —He said, after a few seconds of silence. It hurt to refuse, but it also pained him to lie with a statement he knew could not come true. He wasn’t going to promise anything, it was very likely that he would reject the invitation at the last minute, but…he want…

          When he thought at night, alone in the darkness of his small apartment, he realized that it was a bad idea, that he would fall back into the desire to make friends and disappoint Giancarlo again. He couldn’t be weak, he couldn’t fall into the stupid game of pretending to be friends with his rivals. “Discipline.”

          He would get up, even if it were two, three or four in the morning. He paced around his room, carrying things back and forth, pretending –although there was never anyone to convince with his performance- to be busy while he thought. He did not want to be alone for another night, knowing that the rest of those who could almost consider his first friends were enjoying a party together.

          Arthur really was the first and only one he could call a friend, he still had a lot of appreciation for him. He didn’t really know when or how it happened. Like, he remembers dates, he know that the Ferrari Academy and sharing time at Prema forced to get to know each other and be very close, yeah, but that feeling went beyond talks at press conferences, videos or meetings.

          It was something closer, more personal. It was not the same with Dennis. Although they were also teammates, and even for longer. It was simply different.

          “Maybe it’s a Leclerc thing.” He thought, comparing his situation with Max and Charles; or maybe he was just looking for excuses to compare himself to a world champion; with the Verstappen he head once beaten in karting, hoping that strange relationships were not the only thing they were alike.

          “Giancarlo doesn’t have to know”, he finally concluded that he could travel. He could afford something casual, a one-night thing, for the experience and the alcohol. They don’t need to become close friends with all of them, or make it a regular thing to see or hang out together.

          “For Arthur’s birthday.”

[ 📱 ] Text. Tuesday 3rd October, 2023.

481MCLARG | 13 . 01 . 2025 | CORREGIDO.

[481mclarg]

Scared to love you | AL65

★ I've never been good at telling people how I feel, but you make me want to try.

STLY      •       FANFIC + SMAU

        • Arthur Leclerc x Male!Oc Driver

« K » Sorry for being late. I have a horrible migraine + the whole city run out of power (?) + 35 fucking °C

(bue, no estoy seguro si así se dice, pero la cuestión es que se cortó la luz en todo este pueblo de mierda donde vivo). (el verano es una verga).

Warnings: insecurity/anxiety? (being afraid to come out)

★          introduction. | one. | two. | three. | four. | five. | six. | seven. | eight. | nine. |

[ 💻 ] Google News. 2023.

BREAKING. Matteo Lombardi to race for Ferrari in 2024.

          Carlos Sainz Jr.'s departure from Ferrari was something that no one expected, and the fact that the Scuderia didn't even give the fans time to recover from the news before announcing Lombardi as his replacement was even more shocking.

          The Maranello team had an Italian back in the top category and one of the youngest drivers on the grid. His great results in the past couldn’t be denied or questioned, but what was feared was that it was a hasty move on Ferrari's part. Other teams had already experienced what it was like to promote a young driver too early.

          That pressure was transmitted to Matteo. He knew he couldn't disappoint, he had to make his team proud, his country, Giancarlo, his family, his friends...

          Being Charles' teammate was strange. He felt like he was constantly hiding something from the Monegasque, which made him nervous. The fact that his voice and accent were so similar to Arthur's didn't help.

          Arthur was a subject he didn't know if he wanted to discuss with Charles. The eldest knew that they had at least been friends, but it didn't seem like his brother had told him anything about what had happened between them on vacation, even though he often makes comments that seem a bit strange.

          He preferred not to give it much importance. In the end, he hadn't even spoken much to Arthur again. He felt a bit sad for Arthur; he had wanted to maintain their friendship. At the same time, he was grateful because he didn't know if he would have been able to talk to him without remembering Barcelona.

          Everything related to the country, Spain, and its city now related to Arthur. It seemed like a curse. Maybe it was a spell from the Monegasque himself so he could never forget it, so that in one way or another, he would be present in his mind.

          He didn't see him much either. His contract in Formula 2 had ended, joining the Le Mans Series and distancing him a little from the world of Formula. He also left the Ferrari Drivers Academy, so if he didn't go to see his brother at the Formula 1 races, he had no chance to meet him.

          Arthur didn't talk about Matteo with his brother either, even though the older one also made comments to him and asked if their friendship was surviving the distance of not seeing each other on the track on weekends.

          "Yes, everything is fine" he lied. Charles smiled, reminding him that he didn't have to worry, like he had told him in that call.

          The younger one wished that things hadn't changed between them. He wished he didn't have to lie to his brother about his friendship with his teammate. He hadn't spoken much with Matteo, and he wouldn't say that they were on bad terms, but there was clearly a pending talk that neither of them dared to bring up. It was easier to keep quiet and look the other way than to resolve it.

          The Italian had been clear: "I'm going to focus on my career." He didn't want personal relationships. He didn't have the time. He wouldn't waste his energy on anything other than Ferrari. He understood that. He had to. He'd seen him work hard for years. He didn't want to be the one to ruin his life's work.

          Although he understood Matteo's point of view, he couldn't say he shared it. He sensed a fear in Matteo that wasn't typical of the boy who left everything on the track. He used to risk everything in every race. Why did he look terrified now? He was more careful -he justified- not to say that he was simply scared.

          Scared of losing.

          He had always been afraid of ruining everything, so he played it safe. Without questioning, without trying. On the track, it was easy. He could learn when a maneuver would work and when it was better to wait; in life, he couldn't know until he tried. Until he failed and learned from the mistake. But Matteo could not conceive of failing. He could not allow it.

          "Would he have acted the same way if I had gotten a seat in Formula One?" He could not know, but he did know that from his position, risking a future seat or the current one at Le Mans, he would act.

          Why not? Why not be the ones to make that difference? Why wait for someone else to act, to decide what he was going to do? He understood that he could lose support, but why did he want the support of intolerant people? Who, even if he didn't speak, would still know that they do not support him?

          Yes, he was going to attract a different look on him. He would be judged even for how he breathes, but what does it matter? If he doesn’t do it, he knows that he will judge himself for the same thing. For being a coward, for being able to make a difference, for being able to show others, to show Matteo that you can be a driver even if you are attracted to another man.

          At the same time, it was a kind of new challenge: to show people that he could continue to have successful results, that his private life and preferences did not interfere with his knowledge and skills. It even sounded stupid to believe that they could question his performance as a driver because of who he was with in bed.

          First, he had to talk to his family. It would be better to talk about it in person, get over that silly nervousness, and prepare for the time to make it public. It was also important that his family heard it directly from his mouth and not from what others were going to post on social media or news portals. He wanted to seek their support, a hug from his mother, ask what his father would have thought despite already knowing that he loved his family no matter what.

          He really hoped to be able to reconnect with Matteo, to resolve the pending things they had left in that hotel in Barcelona but for now, he could at least thank him silently for helping to know himself a little better. To discover a part that he didn't know or that he didn't know he had. Thank him for giving to him the courage to speak out, and the new purpose of showing that nothing that happens off the track matters when talking about a driver's career.

[ 📱 ] Instagram. 11 Jun. 2024.

arthurleclerc65

♡ Liked by charlesleclerc, dinobeganovic, paularon, dennishauger, olliebearman and others...

arthurleclerc65: happy pride month gays 💙🩷

⇲          Comments

user293: !?!?!?!?

user40: hellou gays

user135: I hope you get better soon🙏 being French (by choice) is not natural

user592: hello !? he just come out !!?? like- ???!!!

charlesleclerc16: 👏👏♥️

↳ Liked by arthurleclerc65

user302: 🩷💜💙?

↳ Liked by arthurleclerc65

user289: happy pride month king🫡

[ 📲 ]          matteolombardi51 liked your post

matteolombardi51

♡ Liked by dinobeganovic, dennishauger, olliebearman, lewishamilton, maxverstappen and others...

matteolombardi51: 💜

⇲          Comments

user293: AT THE SAME TIME THAT ARTHUR ?!

dennishauger: proud of you man💪

↳ Liked by matteolombardi51

user305: love is love💞

↳ Liked by matteolombardi51

user529: Is it support to the community or his coming out post ?😭

[ 📲 ]          arthurleclerc65 liked your post

481MCLARG | 26 . 01 . 2025 | CORREGIDO

[481mclarg]

Scared to love you | AL65

★ I've never been good at telling people how I feel, but you make me want to try.

STLY      •       FANFIC + SMAU

         • Arthur Leclerc x Male Oc Driver

Warnings: guys on their 20s drinking a lot and doing stupid shit.

★          introduction. | one. | two. | three. | four. | five. | six. | seven. | eight. | nine. |

          «Seriously, Lolo, thank you for coming» Arthur had repeated when he arrived at the airport. He was the first, so they had a few minutes to talk alone.

          A thousand things crossed his mind; a thorn that he felt bothering in his chest wanted to be pulled out, but which at the same time was so stuck that it prevented him for speaking. A vague, almost superficial answer, but one that the Monegasque appreciated anyway and decided to consider sufficient.

          «He’s not going to find out. He’s not going to find out», he repeated to himself, trying to calm down so he could enjoy the trip. Since he decided to travel, at least wanted not to think about everything Girotti would tell him about how weak having friends on the grid would make him or how disappointed he would be.

          —What are you reading? —In the afternoon, Arthur came out of the bathroom, wearing only pants, drying his hair before putting on a shirt. Matteo was standing in front of his laptop; concentrated, reading under his breath, while absently rubbing a towel on his head.

          The Monegasque knew the Italian well enough to know that he was not thinking about anything other than what he read. The towel could fall from his hands, and he would continue concentrating on his reading, without noticing it.

          —Are you studying? —He approached, looking over his shoulders.

          A text that seemed extensive, full of formulas and theory. He saw numbers mixed with letters, followed by long explanations.

          Lombardi had already finished high school, so he couldn’t think of why he might need physics, or whatever it was.

          —I recently started to get interested in this. —he nodded, finally breaking out of his bubble of concentration, letting the towel fall over his shoulders. —I figured that really understanding aerodynamics would help me in the future. —Arthur raised an eyebrow. —One of the MP mechanics shared some of his study material with me. —

          —Are you studying a university degree, without… actually studying a degree? —he questioned.

          The boy nodded simply, shrugging his shoulders.

          First, thousands of hours in simulators and tracks; now, study in depth the principles of physics that most drivers only understood superficially.

          —I can’t believe it. —He found it funny that Matteo decided to study before going out to a club. Maybe he was trying to laugh it off, to ignore the idea that he might be doing it just so he wouldn’t feel guilty.

          —Is Giancarlo going to take a test for you when we get back? —he joked.

          Was it worth sacrificing his youth? Was it worth living feeling like he have to work harder to deserve a break?

          Arthur moved a little closer to fix a couple of buttons that Matteo had tangled on his shirt, making it impossible to finish buttoning it. He probably tried to do it without looking, and gave up as soon as he realized that he would have to stop reading if he wanted to fix it.

          —You never know. —he laughed, finally taking his eyes off the screen, closing the laptop. —Thank you, Le. —he thanked, seeing how his shirt was now arranged.

          —It’s not big deal. —He pretended to admire his work, pulling the shirt from the bottom to finish arranging the fabric on his body, to have more time and an excuse to analyze the younger that much.

          They had never really been close they both knew that. But, Arthur was the closest bond Matteo had, and Matteo must have been the most reluctant friend Arthur had.

          Arthur understood how Matteo’s mind worked, but it hurt him. He couldn't do anything about it, because walking away would only leave a bigger void.

          He couldn’t blame him completely, not knowing what his life had been like before karting and what it was like under Girotti’s tutelage –although he didn’t know it from Matteo, of course. He couldn’t allow himself to be open with others- but he couldn’t blame anyone else either.

          With a notification from Arthur’s phone ringing through the room, he walked away.

          It was all jokes at the beginning. Young adults mixing drinks, laughing and playing “truth or dare”, proposed by Bearman. Shameful confessions, silly but harmless challenges, whatever they did, they accompanied it with a good amount of alcohol.

          «Last time you lied?» «On Wednesday, when I told Giancarlo that I would only study during the weekend» No one was surprised by that “revelation” –If they were honest, they were much more surprised that he had been one of the first to agree to play-.

          «Who was the last person you followed on Instagram?» Oliver thought about it for a bit, considering drinking the “punishment cocktail” (A mix of all the strongest and bitterest drinks they had). «A friend of Zak» With some regret, he refused to reveal the girl’s name. Everyone made a mental note to look for her among his “following” latter.

          «Dare» The first brave one was Dino, deciding to trust that Paul would not make him look ridiculous or be too harsh. «Drink from one of my shoes» They laughed, both upon hearing it and upon seeing the Swedish fulfill it.

          That meant a change in the game. Going further, asking increasingly personal questions and starting with challenges.

          «Have you ever had fantasies about other men?» «The ones I know are all ugly» Matteo denied, laughing, much more carefree since the drinks began to make effect. «Really?» Arthur insisted. Only the two of them seemed to be feeling the strange atmosphere. The brunette raised his glass, taking a drink.

          He lied.

          He had lied, and then refused to answer, taking a drink instead.

          —Dare. —The Swedish was once again the center of attention, while they waited for him to give the Italian his dare.

          —The bottle game. —he suggested. —I dare you to spin that bottle and kiss whom it points when it stops. —Silence. Matteo was questioning whether to accept or not.

          —If you want to kiss Matteo, you could just ask him, Dino. —Paul joked. The boy responded again with some other joke, but Lombardi wasn’t paying attention. He stretched out to reach the bottle that Dino was pointing, leaving it in the center of the circle, under everyone’s expectant gaze.

          He just took a breath, avoiding raising his head as he spun it around. Everyone looked expectantly at the glass that seemed never stop.

          Until it did it.

          Matteo looked up, uncomfortable; feeling a little strange because he knew Arthur was looking at him. He felt it. Everyone was looking at him, but only the Monegasque felt different, even different from Hauger’s gaze, who was the one he had to kiss.

          The Norwegian nodded, agreeing to help him to complete the game. Dennis approached Matteo, as he seemed to be debating whether he should stop everything or not.

          If he was really thinking about that, he ended up ignoring it, complying and being the one who took the younger man’s shoulders, crashing their lips after asking almost in a whisper if he was sure.

          The other reacted, laughing, surprised that they actually do it, and counting the seconds. When they reached ten, stopped, as a sign that they could stop too.

          Hauger sat down again, this time staying next to the brunette, who felt his face and ears completely red with shame. Perhaps trying to hide it, ignoring the laughter and jokes of the others, he took a mouthful drink from his glass, finishing the vodka with juice that he had prepared to accompany the game. The feeling was strange, a mix between the confusion caused by those new sensations fused with the alcohol and the weight of Arthur's gaze.

          —Come on! Spain awaits us! —

481MCLARG | 14 . 01 . 2025 | CORREGIDO.

[481mclarg]

Scared to love you | AL65

★ I've never been good at telling people how to feel, but you make me want to try.

STLY        •       FANFIC + SMAU.

          • Arthur Leclerc m Male!Oc driver

Warnings: Drunk sex, sexual - suggestive content. (tbh, It was more explicit, but I cut it out. I ended up feeling a little uncomfortable with that part).

★          introduction. | one. | two. | three. | four. | five. | six. | seven. | eight. | nine. |

          Matteo had moments of consciousness and unconsciousness, taking another drink when he felt sobriety returning to him. The sensations of the dare with Dennis were already forgotten. He didn’t care. What did bother him was noticing that something was wrong with Arthur and not knowing what it was bothered him even more.

          Well, he knew that the Monegasque was acting strange since the kiss, or perhaps since he lied about being attracted to other men. Why did he even care? Would he be upset? He didn’t stop seeing him, no matter what he did.

          He was uncomfortable, nervous. Would he ask to change rooms? Wouldn’t he want him to spend the rest of the weekend with them? What was he going to do now that he walked away with his phone in hand?

          His plan was to wait for him outside, but seeing how close the Italian was to Dennis, he couldn’t. He frowned. Were they always like this?

          Everything bothered him. See how they had to get closer to each other, how Dennis placed his hand on the boy’s lower back and he surrounded his shoulders, how they laugh while he was supposed to just let him know that they were going back to the hotel. Why? Why did they become so close now? Another good question would be: Why did he care?

          They waited there for a couple of minutes, sitting on the edge of the sidewalk, both feeling the typical dizziness of alcohol, mixed with confusion and discomfort generated by the pending conversation. Matteo didn’t know what to expect and Arthur what to say.

          —Just a moment, per favore... —he muttered, searching on Google Maps for the address of the hotel where they were staying, since the driver said he didn't know the area well or which building to take them to.

          —Italianos? —

          — Parli italiano? —he asked the man while showing him from his cell phone, both a photo of the hotel and the exact address on the map. The car's GPS was off by a few meters, but it wouldn't be a problem, so they left. — Sono italiano. È monegasco, ma parla anche italiano. — (Do you speak Italian? I'm Italian. He’s Monegasque, but also speaks Italian).

          —"Parla" nada, cero, pero lo entiendo de oído. —he explained. —Ustedes? De español nada? —They began to chat among themselves. Arthur sank into his seat, wishing to get there soon and stop hearing that stupid Italian accent that was spinning around in his head. ("Speak" nothing, zero, but I understand by ear. You? No Spanish?)

          Literally, every day of his life, he heard more Italian than any other language; sometimes, he caught himself speaking it to Charles. Why did it suddenly sound so good? So different from the Italian everyone at the academy speaks.

          —¡Grazie mille, signore! ¡Buona notte! —Matteo seemed really happy after sharing his whole life with the driver, talking about his Nonna, surnames, and towns that he couldn't identify on a map. He was still upset. He wanted to get to the room quickly and finally understand what was wrong with him. —Stai bene? —He noticed how strange Arthur was, thinking that it could be the alcohol's fault. (Thank you so much, sir! Good night! Are you okay?)

          —I’m fine. —he nodded, but letting Matteo help him walk up the hotel stairs, and then to the elevator.

          —Maybe it’s better to go to sleep. —He suggested, and though Leclerc didn’t refuse, he wasn’t willing to go to sleep with all that on his mind. He knew he couldn't do it.

          He looked at the empty hallway, while Matteo opened the door, deciding to push him inside as soon as it was unlocked, surprising the Italian, but trying not to hurt him by cornering him against the wall next to the entrance of the room.

          —Arth-? —

          —If you are going to stop me, Lo, please, do it now. —he begged, having to put one hand on the wall to keep his balance, while the other went up to the Italian's arm, which held him by the side.

          Matteo's other hand moved up to the brunette's neck, eliminating the distance between them, without thinking about the situation or its consequences.

          Their lips collided, moving against each other. It was different from the kiss between Matteo and Dennis. Neither of them was counting the seconds to break the kiss. On the contrary, they were trying to hold their breath as long as possible so they wouldn't have to.

          They had never felt like this, so drowned in the need for something, for someone. They could have stood there for hours, they didn't know. They didn't care either. Only when Lombardi began to find it annoying to constantly bang his head against the wall did they stop.

          Their gazes fixed on each other, panting, trying to catch some air. They looked for some sign of regret in each other's eyes, but they felt anything but regret. It was impossible for them to keep their gaze, struggling to raise it again, but it ended up falling on each other's lips anyway.

          Now, with both hands on his waist, Leclerc pushed him away from the wall in one last kiss before heading him towards his bed. Lombardi followed him, understanding that this was what the Monegasque wanted.

          On the way, he reached for a bottle of whiskey from the fridge in the room and opened it, taking a sip. —Truth or dare? —he asked the boy sitting next to him, expectantly.

          —... Truth. —

          —Do you regret kissing me? —he began, straight to the point.

          —No. Not at all. —he denied quickly. —I-? —before he could ask anything, Leclerc repeated:

          —Truth or dare? —

          —Truth. —he chose, believing that this would be the only way to start a conversation with the Monegasque.

          —Did you like kissing Dennis? —

          —I- Well. Uh... —he stammered. —I don't know, I mean- It wasn't bad... —that didn't seem to please him too much.

          He had taken another drink, waiting for Lombardi to choose between "truth or dare" again.

          It took him a couple of seconds to think about it, —Dare. —Gave him a chance to get revenge. He could ask him to do anything he wanted. That was how Matteo felt when he gave Arthur the chance, who also understood that it was his way of apologizing, although they didn’t even know what he was apologizing for.

          —Come here. —he ordered, bringing Matteo on top of him. He sat on his lap, waiting. Leclerc had nothing planned other than to bring him back close to him, but facing those big eyes that practically begged him to do something, he couldn’t refuse.

          A new kiss began, just as messy as the previous ones. It was rough, but all they needed now. Later, they could worry about the emotional background that had them reacting that way.

          —Truth or dare. —Matteo said quickly, before taking the bottle of whiskey from Arthur’s hand to take a generous swig of the alcohol. He felt his throat burn. He wasn’t used at all to the sensation, but he no longer cared about anything other than the boy beneath him.

          —Truth. —he gasped.

          —Were you jealous of the kiss with Dennis or what is this all about? —maybe it wasn't the best way or the best time to ask, but he wasn't in the mood to think about times and places.

          —I- Honestly, I don't know. —Matteo nodded, believing the anguish in his gaze, and deciding to leave it there. He was tempted to lower the kisses down Leclerc's marked jaw, even reaching his neck, but he continued talking, distracting him. —Truth or dare? —

          —Dare. —He didn't wait for the younger to decide the dare. He simply pushed him towards the bed, kissing him again, sitting now on his abdomen.

          —It doesn't seem like you have a hard time fulfilling this type of dare. —Arthur smiled when they separated for lack of air.

          Matteo laughed, knowing deep down that it was only due to the alcohol consumed throughout the night. That vacation, although it had only just begun, had already significantly changed the young Italian's life.

          —Don't waste the confidence I have now because I can't guarantee that other things will end up just as well. —Arthur thought about it. How far would they go? The question had been torturing Matteo since the first kiss.

          He didn't know what to believe. He wasn't sure he was ready for that kind of closeness. When he agreed to travel, he never imagined it would end like this; he had not mentally prepared himself for any of it.

          He couldn't even be sure that the kisses were really good. They were just the product of the desperation and need of two excited drunk young men.

          —My only experience in all this is from a couple of hours ago, with Dennis. —Despite the joking tone, it was the truth.

          —Dennis was your first kiss? —There it was again that something in his gaze. Annoyance, jealousy.

          He barely let the Italian nod before pulling him back by the neck, kissing him again. He wanted more; he needed to be more than Dennis was. Needed to be a new experience in Matteo's life.

          He couldn't say he had much knowledge either, but with women he had been able to manage it in a simpler way. With another man, how would things work? What should they do? He didn't have condoms. It would never have crossed his mind to end up like this, with his friend and teammate on top of him, rubbing their bodies between kisses.

          —Can I... touch? —he asked. His hands unconsciously pressed the dark-haired boy's waist.

          —Please. —he nodded in a needy gasp. Arthur saw again those eyes that begged for some touch, as lost as he was, but willing to finish whatever they were starting.

          Touching someone else's body was completely new to him. Strange. He knew what to do, where or how it was best to touch, and what he had to avoid. The clothes had hardly moved out of place, but they didn't seem to   care. They were more focused on catching the other's gasps and moans against their lips.

          Matteo felt a different kind of dizziness. It wasn't the alcohol. He didn't even feel drunk anymore, or not from whiskey, at least. He felt in a kind of trance brought on by Arthur's touch. He hadn't left his hands still either.

          He caressed the body beneath his, opening the shirt, exploring. He was completely lost about what to do and what not. He had never been in a similar situation with anyone. His only reference were the few porn videos he watched in the past, and he knew they weren't the best help either.

          At least Arthur seemed to like it, so he continued, daring to lower his kisses when their mouths separated. He started with the jaw, going down to the neck, guided by the Monegasque's panting. He would have liked to know how to give a hickey; he thought a mark there would look good.

          Arthur felt Matteo's breath against his collarbones, driving him crazy. The air collided unevenly against the recent kisses, cold, but at the same time the hottest thing he had ever experienced.

          That night, everything was a mixture of new and strange but pleasant sensations from which no one wanted to get away.

          The Monegasque doubted that one of his friends had ever seemed as beautiful to him as Matteo did now. Apparently, it was true that there was a special after-sex glow.

          —Was it okay? —he asked, as if he didn’t have living proof of how wonderful it was right in front of him.

          —Amazing. —he nodded, leaning in to kiss him one last time. —Are we going to sleep? —

          —Together? —he looked at the Monegasque, surprised to see him willing to simply lay back and sleep. —Are we going to… sleep together? —

          —You don’t want to? —Maybe had Arthur been too hasty in believing that they could do things like sleep together after make out?

          —No- I mean, yes! I do. Yes. —he nodded quickly. Arthur laughed, pulling the Italian by the arm, bringing him close, gently, and lovingly brushing his bare skin. —Maybe- we need to clean up a bit first. — suggested. —I’ll go get a towel. —Arthur nodded, letting Matteo take care of cleaning him after having done the same to himself.

          —Good night, Lo. —he murmured, feeling his eyelids weighing down.

          —Good night. —he gave her one last kiss, before they both gave in to exhaustion.

[ 📱 ] Arthur's phone.

481MCLARG | 17 . 01 . 2025 | CORREGIDO

[481mclarg]

Scared to love you | AL65

★ I've never been good at telling people how I feel, but you make me want to try.

STLY       •       FANFIC + SMAU.

          • Arthur Leclerc x Male!Oc Driver

« K » Just want to say thank you for all the support. Every like, new follower, and reblogs. All the interactions w/this and any fanfic/smau is more than appreciated. <3

Warning: —

★          introduction. | one. | two. | three. | four. | five. | six. | seven. | eight. | nine. |

          After finishing shopping, they left the store, with the brunette texting on the group chat the reason for their separation.

          —...Thank you. —Lombardi murmured as they walked on the way to the park that Paul indicated to them.

          —For what? —

          —I don't know... For everything. —He shrugged, somewhat shy. Embarrassed, praying that the heat on his face wasn't evident to the Monegasque, who had been looking at him so much lately.

          —I... You don't need to thank me for anything. —He placed his hand on the back of his neck, caressing his skin and the small curls that fell over it.

          The Italian finally turned around, fixing those eyes that Arthur was addicted to on him.

          —The people... —He murmured, worried, even though there were very few who passed by paying attention to them. The Monegasque lowered his hand down the boy's spine, guiding him with him to a nearby alley.

          The need to thank him again arose from him. He didn't know if for bothering to look for a less crowded place or for what. The words died in his throat, but the gratitude was expressed by kissing the brunette boy back.

          "How long will this last?" he wondered, fearing that it would have an end. Fearing to return home and with a cool head, everything will seem like a big mistake.

          Maybe worse, that only Arthur will find the wrong in all that.

          He was afraid that the idea of ​​going back to being just friends was inconceivable, that he would hate everything that happened enough not want to talk to him again. He didn't want to lose the relationship, nor did he need it to remain like the last few days. He didn't know what he wanted. He was afraid of the future.

          The ringtone of a cell phone startled them, causing them to separate quickly.

          Matteo was quick to take the device out of his pocket, feeling anxiety grow inside him.

          —Giancarlo? —Fear spread to Arthur, who debated between trying to listen to what the man was saying or giving the young man his space to answer the call.

          The dark-haired boy noticed the doubt in the Monegasque, managing to communicate with just his gaze that he didn't want to be left alone.

          He barely spoke, only nodding a few times, with his eyebrows furrowed in concern, murmuring vague assents or denials. The call ended a few minutes later, with a "See you later" from Matteo, who didn't seem to have received a response.

          —Is everything okay? —he asked, almost scared.

          —He found out about the trip, and he's not very happy... —he denied. —He wants me to go home as soon as possible. —Leclerc nodded. His eyebrows furrowed, really worried. Guilt was what he felt. —Don't worry; it'll probably just be a scolding for not letting him know. —

          —Are you sure? I can explain to him, tell him that I insisted on my birthday. —

          —No-. No. It's not necessary, Le. —he denied quickly. —I'll take care of this. —Arthur wanted to insist, but Matteo's phone vibrated again. —We have to hurry. The boys are asking for us. —He changed the subject, forcing the conversation to die there, to get out of that alley and hurry to get to the others.

          Leclerc followed him with concern.

          He understood that this was an issue Matteo wanted to resolve with Giancarlo alone, but he was afraid that he would take all the responsibility and get all the scolding for something that wasn't even his idea in the first place. At the same time, he hated knowing that Matteo could be scolded for things as common as taking a vacation or going out with friends.

          Yes, it was wrong of him to hide something like an international trip like this from his coach and manager, but he did it for a reason. Arthur knew that he wouldn't keep secrets from Giancarlo for nothing; he must have a good reason for deciding to keep quiet.

          Would Girotti be so severe for a young man's simple and almost silly idea of ​​spending a few days partying? Arthur was really worried. Not only because of what the man might do or say to him, but because of what the Italian himself would say to himself.

          Matteo, for the first time all weekend, was using the second bed in the room, and Arthur couldn't feel more strange about it.

          He regretted the loss of the Italian's warmth. He misses him. He didn't know he could miss something he had barely known so strongly. With a sadness he tried to believe was irrational, he looked at the boy who, lying down, turned his back on him from the other side of the room, apparently asleep.

          "I need time to think," he excused himself as soon as they returned to the room after dinner, knowing that it was a doubt they both had. What would they do that night? He didn't think about repeating what happened the previous nights, but he hoped perhaps to be able to talk about all that, about what they felt, and what they wanted.

          At least he would tell him that they were going to pretend that nothing happened and return to the almost formal relation, limiting themselves to the talks at the academy meetings.

          The boy didn't know he could feel that way about losing someone. Yes, he had lost very dear people before, but it was different. Maybe, because he knew that Matteo would still be there, carrying whatever he was holding in and the memory of what he had experienced.

          He knew he was going to miss that weekend. Miss the side of Matteo he had known, the person he allowed himself to be far from home and from anyone who conditioned his way of acting.

          Now that he knew that more carefree and relaxed side of Matteo, closer, he was afraid he wouldn't be able to forget it, to miss it. He was scared of how right it had felt to be embraced by the Italian's warmth, and how lost he imagined himself being without being able to experience it again.

          He was terrified to think that he was missing a warmth that he didn't want to share with him. Could Matteo hate him now? Maybe he hadn't enjoyed that weekend as much as he had.

          Maybe he had never wanted to do any of that, and only now dared to put on the brakes, to distance himself.

          Why had he acted on those stupid drunken ideas? He was still asking himself that question a week after the trip. He was already back in Monaco, and he assumed that Matteo was in Italy. He assumed, because the boy hadn't spoken to anyone after an "I'm home" message, sent hours after landing in France. An almost obligatory message, since Dennis and Paul insisted that he let them know when he arrived in his country.

          Lombardi didn't write to him, and he didn't try to either. He was… afraid? Afraid that he had ruined everything, that he would hate him, that he would never want to talk to him again. Or was it shame that he felt? For feeling so much and confusing desire with something more. Shame for having let himself go and given himself over to the heat of the night, letting himself be enveloped by the atmosphere of the clubs and bars, letting himself be influenced by silly games and his most primitive reactions.

          How could he face talking to Matteo again? He couldn't even think of what to say to him. Just say hello? Talk about the next race? Ask again about the future in Formula 1? Inquire into his feelings? Apologizes?

          Should he apologize?

          Did he feel guilty, and that's why he didn't want to talk to Matteo?

          Giancarlo was a volatile man, yes. Perhaps he overreacted when the driver neglected his image as a star athlete and behaved like the teenager he was, yes. But- if he hadn't invited him…

          If they hadn't insisted on going out, on drinking, on returning to the hotel before the rest, on repeating it a second night… If he hadn't done everything he did before thinking.

          How severe must Giancarlo have been?

          Maybe talking to him wasn't even possible. Maybe he had him incommunicado, punished like a child who is deprived of his phone and networks. Or maybe he just forbade him to talk to him? Has Matteo confessed everything that happened? Does Giancarlo know… how much does he knows about Matteo's life? Is there anyone who really knows about him? Is Matteo allowing himself to know himself?

          He tried to maintain a slight hope. The illusion that the trip had managed to awaken that young and rebellious part of the Italian. That he would let himself live, that he would allow himself to have a life apart from his professional career.

          He tried with all his strength, although inside, he was dying of uncertainty, fear, shame, and guilt.

[ 📲 ] Incoming call...

🔊          —Charles. —he calls his brother one night before dawn. He hates bothering him on a race week, but he needs advice.

          Talk to their older brother or their mother scared him, more than just talk to Charles. He also might be the only awake because of the different time zones. Anyways, he thought hundreds and hundreds of times what to say and what to not.

          He wasn't ready to "the talk" trying to explain if he now also likes boys or the kind of relationship that he had with Matteo. At some point, it would happen, he knew, but it wouldn't be that night. I preferred it to be later, as late as possible

          «¡Hey, Arthur!» he greeted happily. «What's up? Is everything okay at home?»

          —Yeah, all good... —nodded. —I'm calling you for advice. —

          «Oh? What kind?»

          "Hope not sound so stupid..." —Sometime you feel... nostalgic? Missing... not something, to someone —He was looking for the right words to express his doubt. —Missing a teammate so much and being afraid of losing your friendship. —

          «Oh...» he murmured on the other end of the line. The depth of the issue had caught him off guard. «Well, I miss Sebastian a lot, of course; and when Carlos leaves Ferrari, it will take time to adapt to his absence, but... I guess I always knew that Formula 1 was like that» Arthur nodded, although his brother couldn't see it. «Not because they retire or change teams, they stop being friends... and not all teammates are friends»

          —But, you know-. You spend a lot of time with Carlos, so many things, many important moments; don't you feel that you lost something now that he left? —Isn't it normal to feel that emptiness in his chest when he imagined that they would no longer share time together?

          «I don't know if it's that big of a deal, Arthur. I will continue to see him in the paddock» He scratched the back of his neck, beginning to doubt if his brother was really okay. «What are these questions? Whom are you missing?

          —Oh, well- Since I'm not going to continue in Formula next year... I don't know, I've been a bit thoughtful lately. You know, a little... sad. —

          «Oh, Arthur. Don't worry, other opportunities are going to come» He didn't believe that the main problem, now, was the lack of a seat for next year.

          The lack of a companion bothered him. The lack of Matteo.

          —Do you think I will lose my relationship with the others if I leave the category? —

          «Your friends? The ones that travel with you to Spain for your birthday?» he waited to the younger nod before continuing speaking «They would be idiots if they ruined a friendship and so much time together by not being in the same grid. If they do, they aren't worth your time»

          —But I don't want to lose him. —He immediately regretted it, cursing in his mind repeatedly for letting himself speak before thinking.

          «Uh...» he sputtered. Before the younger could retract it or add something to disguise the desperation of the comment, he responded: «Maybe you have to act and do something about it too. Relationships -all types of relationships- depend on the effort of both parties to preserve themselves, right?»

          —Yeah, I guess... —

          «Arth, if I don't go to the meeting, Fred is going to hang me from the Angel of Independence» He spoke a little more hurriedly, while complaints were heard in the background. «Then I want to know who all this was for, okay? See you! Kisses to mom! »

          —See you... —He stammered, barely getting to speak before he hung up the call.

[ 📲 ] ...Call ended.

481MCLARG | 21 . 01 . 2025 | CORREGIDO

[481mclarg]

Scared to love you | AL65

★ I've never been good at telling people how I feel, but you make me want to try

STLY       •       FANFIC + SMAU.

          • Arthur Leclerc x Male!Oc driver

Warnings. Sexual - suggestive content. Suggestive jokes.

★          introduction. | one. | two. | three. | four. | five. | six. | seven. | eight. | nine.

          —What are you going to do when we get back? —Arthur asked him on Sunday morning, after waking up half-naked in his bed again, but this time with the Italian man still by his side.

          In the night, Matteo had turned off his alarm, but the habit of a routine simply didn't allow him to sleep past 8 AM. He decided to stay in bed until Arthur woke up.

          —Go back to Italy, I guess. —answered. He didn't have any big plan before the UAE Grand Prix. —Study, practice in the simulator... I also have a few meetings. We are waiting to see what will happen next year. —

          —Aren't you going to continue in Formula 2? —

          He hesitated before answering: —...If I lose another sponsor, I won't be able to continue. —

          It was strange to talk about his problems with someone other than Giancarlo, and the man already knew everything; there was no need to mention the lack of money and all the sponsor problems Matteo had.

          —Is there any hope in Formula 1? Charles said something about the rumors of new drivers... It seems that some names sound very loud in the paddock. —

          —There is less and less time, and fewer seats. —he shrugged his shoulders. Ferrari hadn't called him up for anything other than the typical Academy meetings.

          —All your effort will be recognized, and you will have the seat you deserve. Don't worry about that now. —he stroked the dark hair of the boy next to him.

          Matteo felt like he could burst into tears at that moment. Was there really someone other than himself believing that he deserved something better? Had someone seen his effort and considered that he deserved more?

          Not just a friend who trusted him, a driver he respected too. Another young man with a lot of potential, important in the academy, with good results, a great teammate believing in him.

          —I hope to get to the top... I hope we get to the top. —Arthur smiled.

          While the brunette caressed his dark curls, he held the younger man's face with almost exaggerated delicacy. Outlining Leclerc's cheekbones with his thumbs.

          —Can I kiss you again? —he asked.

          —Lo, my dick was in your mouth last night, and yours in mine. You don't need to keep asking for kisses. —

          —Idiota. —he laughed, bringing him closer to kiss him. —Do you think the others are awake? —he asked when what was an innocent and soft kiss began to turn into something more needy.

          More touch, more closeness, more passion.

          —After last night? I highly doubt it. Why? —he smiled, forcing himself to be patient, waiting for more from Matteo.

          —Hm... Because there is another seat that I also like. —he said, almost uncharacteristic of him.

          With Arthur, he felt different. Less shy, less reserved; more relaxed, more himself. There were no alcohol or repressed feelings to blame. Only him and his lowest instincts that begged him for a little of whatever.

          —I'm glad I'm the one who can try to give you what you deserve... —he answered in the same playful tone, letting Matteo climb onto his lap to join their lips again.

          Arthur looked closely at the man at his side. After breakfast, they had decided to start with real tourism -to see the city and not only clubs-. They are still walking through a street that they had already seen before, but everything seemed wonderful in Matteo's eyes.

          His gaze sparkled, wandering around all the shops, facades of old buildings, small pets; he would swear he even saw him smile at a pigeon that walked near him.

          He felt endearment for him. Almost innocent, full of pure admiration for every little detail of the Spanish streets. A little deer that was just beginning to live, and he had to be there to protect him from any evil that could bother him.

          Now that he could see it, he felt it was his duty to take care of that boy who had been forced to grow up. He needed to do it. He needs to make sure that nothing and no one else can hurt him.

          She stopped behind him, seeing that he had stopped at a gift shop.

          —Do you like motorcycles? —he asked, after noticing that what he was seeing was some kind of iron sheet. There were different ones, some themed around the country or city, historic buildings, and the one that had captured Matteo's attention: one simulating a promotional poster for the MotoGP Jerez Grand Prix.

          —As an Italian, if I wasn't watching Ferrari races, I was watching Rossi's races. —he commented. —Giancarlo is a big fan. We always watched them together. Apart from work, it is the only thing we do together. —

          —That's nice. —There was a nostalgia in the air hard to ignore. Arthur preferred not to ask too much, afraid that the conversation would make the Italian sad. —Do you want to go in? We'll reach the others later or send them a message. —he suggested instead noticing the immediate change in the dark-haired man's smile.

481MCLARG | 19 . 01 . 2025 | CORREGIDO

[481mclarg]

Scared to love you | AL65

★ I've never been good at telling people how I feel, but you make me want to try.

STLY      •       FANFIC + SMAU.

          • Arthur Leclerc x Male!Oc Driver

Warnings: —

★          introduction. | one. | two. | three. | four. | five. | six. | seven. | eight. | nine. |

matteolombardi

♡ Liked by dennishauger, officialmpmotorsports, olliebearman, dinobeganovic and others...

matteolombardi: focused.

          The ceiling of his apartment had become the most interesting thing in the world to him. He rotated and alternated locations, sometimes seeing it from his bed, from the couch, or lying on the living room carpet.

          Giancarlo was still upset, surely. He imagined it, although they had not talked much. Just showing up to ask him if he was going to the gym or going to practice on the simulator. He hadn't liked not being aware of his trip at all. More upset about that than about having traveled itself.

          He felt stupid for believing that Girotti would forbid him from leaving his house, even more so when he had to look in the face of a man disappointed by his lack of communication and trust. Giancarlo had given so much for him, and he wasn't able to tell him about his plans? He felt terrible.

          He would like to say that guilt was the only thought on his mind during the long hours he spent staring at the ceiling, but no.

          He was stuck in anxiety, in fear of what happened. What is going to happen? What would happen to them? With their friendship? Whatever they started with that first night?

          He occupied his time cleaning, pretending that this way he had no time to think although every minute his mind continued working; or, on the contrary, using cleaning as an excuse to have time to think. Even if it was two, three, or four in the morning, he was still there, firm, cleaning, tidying, and rearranging the small apartment.

          The worst thing is that it still didn't clarify anything.

          What had happened in Barcelona? Yes, he knows what happened, remembers everything, and is able to mention every detail. But why? Did he like it? Did Arthur like what happened? Why didn't Arthur text him then? Is he waiting for him? He hate it? Does he want to talk to Arthur? What is he supposed to tell him?

          He hates to admit it, and he doesn't even think he can say it out loud, but he's afraid. He doesn't want to lose Arthur, not after everything it took for him to accept that he was his first friend.

          He is terrified of feeling, because he knows he cannot control it, and that he may be criticized anyway. If he lost sponsors? If it cost he his seat in Formula 2? If he lost his place in the academy? If negotiations for Formula 1 fell apart?

          Being so close, being able to lose everything for something that he didn't even control.

          If he could control it, would he avoid having any kind of feelings for Arthur? He felt bad just questioning it. He felt worse knowing the answer.

          He could never put a personal relationship above his career, he should not, and they wouldn't let him. He had dedicated his life to racing; He could live alone, not without racing. It was his job, after all, for which he had prepared his entire life, which is why he continued going to gyms and the simulator daily. His dream since childhood. He had already achieved a lot, and he couldn't stay halfway.

[📲 ] Incoming call...

🔊          «Ready for Yas marina?»

          —There's still time... —he murmured in a yawn. —, but yeah. I've been improving my times in the simulator. Just have to wait. —the man nodded from the other end of the line.

🔊           .                              .                            .

          «Why won't you stop yawning, Matteo? You sleep last night?»

          —Yeah... a little... —He stood up, going to make some coffee, hoping to eliminate the tiredness.

🔊           .                             .                              .

          «There is something you need to tell me?»

          —No- I don't think so. Why? —

          «Pupo, I'm being serious. Nothing I'll find on the Internet?»

          —Uh... No, nothing more. —we were careful that there was nothing more.

🔊          .                             .                              .

          «Don't forget that the flight leaves early, be careful with the schedules»

          —I know. I'll be fine. —

          «I expect nothing less from you»

🔊          .                              .                             .

          «Matteo»

          —Sorry. —

          «What's done is done. There's no point in apologizing» The younger nodded. «Don't disappoint me. There is a lot at stake this weekend»

          —...Have I ever disappointed you? —He dared to ask, afraid to hear the answer.

          «Go to sleep. First thing on Wednesday, don't forget»

          —Yeah-... —

[ 📲 ] Call ended.

          His feelings couldn't ruin his effort, his career, the trust he had built with Giancarlo. Arthur would understand, wouldn't he? Neither of them wanted to ruin their lives so soon, right? They must have both been thinking the same thing. It was a stupid mistake, and they still had time to fix it. They could still forget it; get over it, pretend like nothing had happened.

          Giancarlo didn't have to know that this had happened, he didn't have to know anything about it. Nobody had to.

          «No one will know» he thought. He wouldn't talk, and he trusted that Arthur would understand why he couldn't either. Together-

          Together...

          With each other's help, the secret would be kept secret, and neither of their careers would be tarnished. Neither of them would have any problems, awkward conversations, or inappropriate questions, and hopefully, both of them could fulfill their dream of making it to Formula 1.

          Arthur had to understand, and he seemed to when Matteo made his point and asked him to leave everything "in the past", which was the weekend in Barcelona. He nodded as if he understood, but the sadness in his eyes did not disappear from the Italian's mind.

          Why did he feel... bad? Guilty? What was he doing wrong? Did he not understand, or did he not want to understand? He didn't want to think. He was tired of thinking; they still had a qualifying to focus on.

          «The qualy» was on his mind every second; he really struggled to stay focused. He just couldn’t. It was impossible to forget those sad eyes and the pang he felt in his heart because of them.

          Why did everything have to be so complicated? Maybe if he had listened to Giancarlo's advice and stayed away from others, none of this would have happened.

          —Tteo, are you okay? —Blinking felt like opening his eyes, returning to reality, returning to Yas Marina.

          At his side, Dennis no longer seemed to expect an answer from him, he simply looked worried about him. Did he look that bad? Was it that obvious?

          —Sorry. I couldn't sleep well lately. No big deal. —he excused himself.

          —Yeah, the schedules are a pain. —He decided to believe him. Without pressure, without the need to insist until he wants to talk to him, Lombardi liked that about him; Dennis would continue the conversation, even if he didn't truly believe him, simply giving him his space and letting him talk when he felt it necessary.

          That the necessary moment never came was another matter, entirely his fault, but Dennis would not complain.

          —Never forget that I'm here, Tteo. —He patted his shoulder. —For whatever. —

          —Yes, thanks... —He saw him walk away to return to his half of the garage, talking to the mechanics. He also saw a Formula 3 driver pass through the garage. The rumors that he would take his place next year were practically a fact at that point. Everything now depended on Giancarlo and Formula 1's desperation for new faces in their paddock.

481MCLARG | 23 . 01 . 2025 | CORREGIDO

[481mclarg]

Scared to love you | AL65

★ I've never been good at telling people how I feel, but you make me want to try.

STLY       •       FANFIC + SMAU

          • Arthur Leclerc x Male!Oc Driver

Warning: homophobia - slurs (f-slur).

★          introduction. | one. | two. | three. | four. | five. | six. | seven. | eight. | nine. |

          They walked slowly, nervously, through the streets still lit by the streetlights, although the sky was slowly turning orange, announcing the sunrise.

          —So... do you want to start? —

          —Not really. —he murmured. —But I owe you a few explanations. —the Monegasque nodded, understanding. He wouldn't force him, but he appreciated his initiative.

          —I'm listening. —

          —I'm bisexual. —he confessed.

          —Well, I could imagine that. Someone heterosexual wouldn't have done what- —

          —Ahem! —he interrupted, a blush taking over his face. With a slight smile, Arthur apologized, letting him continue. —I wanted to talk about this with my parents a long time ago, when I started to suspect. My mother never said anything, but my father... he didn't seem very happy with the idea- —he explained, playing with his hands. —, with the idea of his son being a faggot. —

          So as not to interrupt him again, Arthur just placed a hand on his back, showing his support with light caresses, encouraging him to continue talking.

          —I guess- I guess Giancarlo doesn't agree with who I am either. —He still had a hard time putting it into words, accepting who he was. Even more so knowing that two of the closest people in his life walked away because of it.

          It hurt. He hated it, but he was beginning to understand that he couldn't pretend to be something he wasn't just to please others. That hurt more than the rejection of anyone.

          Rejecting himself hurt more than the rejection of anyone.

          Arthur was happy, proud to hear him talk. Without a doubt, something very different from the Matteo who had stopped talking to him after that weekend.

          —So... we...? —he dared to ask when he noticed that Matteo had finished talking.

          —I don't know. —he almost whispered.

          —What do you want to do? —

          —What do you want? —

          —I asked first. —They both laughed when Leclerc gave a slight nudge after repeating his phrase. —I'd like to try something. —He confessed, wanting to help Matteo say what he wanted to do.

          —Me too. —He nodded, looking down, feeling the heat rise to his face again. —Maybe- go slow. I want to do things right. —The brunette nodded in agreement.

          He would accept any terms as long as he could spend time with Matteo again. Wanting to go slow would mean taking a step back from what he had already experienced, but he trusted that it would be for the better. Form a good base in their relationship before moving forward.

          —Can I hug you? —He asked.

          —Always. —

🗓          June .          .          .

matteolombardi

♡ Liked by dennishauger, maxverstappen1, charlesleclerc, dinobeganovic, arthurleclerc and others...

matteolombardi: dolce far niente 🤍🤍

⇲ Comments

user1: I love seeing him more active on Instagram😭😭

user2: FRRR I love how now he shares a little about his life & not only about races o Ferrari

user3: 💚🤍❤️

dennishauger: DAMN 3 PIZZAS ???

user4: Never underestimate an Italian who was away from his homeland for so long

matteolombardi: 👆👆👆

dinobeganovic: Barcelona team is going to be renamed Sicily team. We are all going to visit your house on the next trip

arthurleclerc: You only want to go to the beach

olliebearman: and you not ???

arthurleclerc: ✋️😶

user5: I think he's happier since he got rid of Giancarlo.

↳ This comment was deleted by matteolombardi

arthurleclerc

♡ Liked by olliebearman, charlesleclerc, dinobeganovic, matteolombardi, paularon and others...

arthurleclerc: we made new friends

⇲ Comments

user6: Who the hell are WE

dinobeganovic: oh... omfg OMFG

paularon: You're an idiot don't you

arthurleclerc: he is

matteolombardi: y'all are so mean to Dino

dinobeganovic: I LOVE YOU, MATTEO😭😭

paularon: he's not going to invite you to his house, Dino

charlesleclerc: next time, I'm going with you

arthurleclerc: no. leave us alone

charlesleclerc: I wasn't asking. It's my duty as your older brother

user7: I just want to be part of the friend group chat because it seems like SOMETHING is happening, but we don't know what

matteolombardi

♡ Liked by charlesleclerc, dinobeganovic, arthurleclerc, scuderiaferrari, dennishauger and others...

matteolombardi: 🐎🐎🐎

⇲ Commets

charlesleclerc: what a handsome guy appears in the last photo

user8: they extend his contract?

user9: charlie🤗🤗

user10: FRATELLI D'ITALIAAAA💚🤍♥️🐎🐎

dinobeganovic: I'm too late. You are no longer in Sicily :(

arthurleclerc

♡ Liked by matteolombardi, olliebearman, charlesleclerc, dennishauger, paularon and others...

arthurleclerc: please @/alexandrasaintmleux come to pick up this man. I can't stand him anymore

⇲ Comments

charlesleclerc: 😒😒😒

arthurleclerc: 🙄🙄🙄

user11: Oh- Uhm.........

user12: !?!?!?!?!!?

user13: What is he doing in Maranello !?!?

user14: the second slide ????????

user15: returning to Ferrari........?

matteolombardi

♡ Liked by alexandrasaintmleux, charlesleclerc, dinobeganovic, dennishauger, arthurleclerc and others...

matteolombardi: my God. They never shut up. Alex, take them both back to Monaco

⇲ Comments

alexandrasaintmleux: 🫡

charlesleclerc: ALEX ??!!

arthurleclerc: LOLO ??😭😭

matteolombardi: Sorry, Le. Maybe I just need a nap

arthurleclerc: ���🫡🫡

user15: OH- are they... going to... are they going to take a nap like- TOGETHER ⁉️

user16: So, are they on family vacations ?

481MCLARG | 30 . 01 . 2025 | CORREGIDO

[481mclarg]

Scared to love you | AL65

★ I've never been good at telling people how I feel, but you make me want to try.

STLY       •       FANFIC + SMAU.

    • Arthur Leclerc x Male!Oc driver

« K » This is my very first smau/ff on here & my very, very first work on ENG. I was trying to write a MV33 AU, but clearly things happened

Warnings: homophobia, sexual content & mention of sex, absent parents. (basically, shitty childhood). !! English is not my first lenguaje. I'm trying my best.

★          introduction. | one. | two. | three. | four. | five. | six. | seven. | eight. | nine. |

Deaken Bluman as... Matteo Lombardi.

📱matteolombardi

LOLO . . . 22yo : 5 de February '02. aquarius.

🇮🇹📍sicilian boy, english-italian driver ; 🐎 Ferrari Academy ; 🏎🏁Prema Powerteam.

 ┈─ Just stay with me. Lean on me today. In my warm arms, take a break. I want you to. ─┈

Arthur Leclerc as... Arthur Leclerc.

📱arthurleclerc

LELEC . . . 24yo : 14 de October '00. libra.

🇲🇨🧾 monegasque ("french") driver ; 🐎 Ferrari Academy ; 🏎🏁 Prema Powerteam.

          STLY     •                                     Introduction.

[ 💻 ] Google News. 2020.

Matteo Lombardi joins the Ferrari Driver Academy.

Lombardi takes another step towards Formula 1. The British-Italian driver was selected by Maranello to join the Ferrari Driver Academy.

FDA | Arthur Leclerc, Dino Beganovic, and Matteo Lombardi for the Scuderia’s young driver program.

Ferrari Driver Academy is pleased to announce three new talents joining the group of students in the company's driver training program. These are Arthur Leclerc, Dino Beganovic, and Matteo Lombardi, three young drivers who demonstrated during 2019 that they have the qualities to participate in the Scuderia training school.

   

   

[ 💻 ] Google News. 2021.

F3 | Prema Powerteam announce 2021 line-up.

The Prema Powerteam will feature Dennis Hauger, Arthur Leclerc, and Matteo Lombardi.

  

  

[ 💻 ] Google News. 2023.

BREAKING. Matteo Lombardi to race for Ferrari in 2024.

  

   

[ 💻 ] Google News. 2024.

Scuderia Ferrari HP: @/Charles_leclerc and @/arthur_leclerc7 will be taking part in Friday's FP1 session as team-mates. You won't want to miss this 🤩

  

 

          It's finally happening. «We made it.» He thought, as he went back to bed, hiding under all his blankets.

  

 

 

  

   

  

[ 🗺; 🇮🇹 ] Maranello.

          With Giancarlo Girotti as his trainer, Matteo had become one of the most feared and hated drivers on the karting grid. He was only eight years old, competing with other little kids but also many other older drivers. Age wasn't an impediment to having resentment towards the Italian.

          When the news of his joining the Ferrari Academy was published, none of the drivers who knew him could be surprised. If it wasn't Ferrari, it would be the academy of some other big team.

          Most still remember him as a little kid, shorter than the rest and who could barely manage a mix of Italian and English that only a few could understand. Neither his age, size, nor the language were an impediment for him to lead in more than one race, placing himself comfortably within the top positions of the championship.

          His professional career was successful from the beginning, but complicated. Money was a big problem for the teams, just as his isolation was for him.

          "He is a talented child, what the teams want" without friends, Matteo learned at an early age to hate the press. "Beginner's luck, right?"

          Luck? An innate talent? Talent would have been getting into a karting and winning races without training; lucky to win a championship that way. Spending months training from the morning to the night was not talent, or even luck. He hadn't spent years working hard on his training for them to classify his achievements as random, detracting from him.

          —Never give them the pleasure of seeing you angry, Pupo. —His coach told him, noticing on his face that feeling that was beginning to brew deep inside him. —That's what they want, for you to react, for you to lower yourself to their level. —With curious eyes, the dark-haired boy saw the gray-haired man next to him, listening to him attentively. —Are you going to stoop to their level? —

          —No. —he quickly denied. The old man almost let out a half smile.

          —Things are shown on the track, Pupo, and you have already proven to be better than him. Than all of them. —Matteo nodded. He had to be better than the others, show that it wasn't luck, that he tried harder than anyone there.

          He wanted to scream at them, to explode, but he knew it wouldn't be necessary. Hitting another driver wouldn't help, it wasn't good for him either. Beating them on the track would be more rewarding, when he can see them from the top step of the podium, smiling at the camera in interviews, posing with a brighter medal or a bigger trophy.

          He is better than them on the track. He had to be better, and he trained to be the best. He didn't need to talk in interviews, brag with words, if the results made it clear who is on top.

          —What do I have to say? —he asked his coach, knowing that he was next for the post-race interview.

          —You know what to say. —Simply, but it seemed to be enough for the boy, who nodded and start walking towards the journalist waiting for the champion of the race.

          «Last question, are you worried about any of your rivals?» The boy didn't have to think, before denying:

          —My only rival is myself. —

481MCLARG | 11 . 01 . 2025 | CORREGIDO.

[481mclarg]

★       Masterlist.

ᯓ ✶ FORMULA.

┈─ F2: Arthur Leclerc x Male (driver) OC.

↳ Scared to love you. I've never been good at telling people how I feel, but you make me want to try.

┈─ F2: Oliver Bearman x Male (driver) Reader.

↳ Honey.          — Coming soon...

┈─ F1: Lando Norris x Male (former moto rider) OC.

↳ Drunk together. Let's get drunk together so I can kiss you and blame it on the vodka.

┈─ F1: Logan H. Sargeant x Oscar J. Piastri.

↳ Tan poco mío. Yo, que nunca te tendré. Ella, que puede poseerte.