#Arrow/CuttingEdge AU

[missmudpie]

So, just hear me out

I spent the weekend doing one of three things: 1) Attending the nearby Women’s Rally (awesome!); 2) Caring for my sick toddler, which mainly involved holding him as he leaked snot on my shoulder; and 3) watching the US Figure Skating Nationals.  And while doing 3 (and 2 and 3), my brain of course went to that seminal skating film, The Cutting Edge.  And then it went to Olicity.

And yes, I know @dettiot already did an absolutely fabulous Arrow/CuttingEdgeAU (Between Love and Skate).  But, like, this wouldn’t leave me alone.  So just hear me out.  (Also, this was heavily influenced by Deanna Stellato, a pairs skater who is 33 years old and returned to the ice this year, after having been retired for like 16 years.  She skates with Nathan Bartholomay and they got 4th overall - again, after less than a year together.  Their short program is here.)

It’s 2006, and Oliver Queen, at 21 years of age, is posed to have his big breakout year.  He’s got the jumps, sure, but where he really excels is his footwork and spins.  Those who tangentially watch skating know he’s something of a ‘bad boy,’ preferring to skate to contemporary rock rather than classical.  Skating insiders know that that persona extends far off the ice, as well (”Okay, in truth - Queen is kinda a douche.  But that’s waaaay off-record.”)  He’s podiumed at all his Grand Prix events, and but for a two-footed landing in his Short Program at Nationals , he would have won.  But he scores the silver, and that’s enough - Oliver Queen is going to the Olympics.

Until he’s not.

He takes a bad fall at practice a week later.  Or he crashes while skiing with some groupies.  Not sure yet how douche-tastic I want this Oliver to be, but suffice it to say - He blows out his knee.  2006 is out.  He tries a comeback later that year, but he can’t get his jumps back.  His knee just can’t support it.  And so Oliver retires.

Which, in truth, is probably for the best.  He goes to school, straightens out his life.  His little sister, Thea, has followed in his skates and become quite the skater herself.  

And now it’s late 2016.  Oliver comes home for the holidays, as like he does every so often, puts on his skates and takes a spin around the family’s private rink.  He’s still got the footwork, effortlessly moving from inside to outside edge.  He’s still got the spins. 

He still can’t jump.

Little does he know, this private skate has an audience.  Anatoli Knyazev - Oliver’s former coach, Thea’s current coach - tells him that Oliver is still a master skater.  He’s in great shape physically, and mentally even stronger now, at 31 than he was at 21.  “I have friend,” Anatoli tells him.  “He’s looking to do something different with a pair.  You should call him.”

Oliver looks at the card for a John Diggle.  “But I can’t jump.”

“This is no problem.”  When Oliver gives him a skeptical look, Anatoli just grins.  “Call him.  Keep your mind open.”

“You mean keep an open mind?”

So Oliver does, because why not?  He meets John Diggle, who’s looking to earn his way back into the skating community.  He’s got the goods, and he’s got the elusive choreographer Lyla Michaels in his back pocket.  (”Michaels, really?  How’d you score her?”  Digg smiles.  “I married her.”)  Diggle just needs a team.

“Look, man,” Oliver says.  “I really wish I could help.”

“Anatoli says you still skate as well as you used to.”

“Anatoli is being kind.  And besides, I still can’t jump.”

Diggle looks confused.  “I don’t see how that’s a problem.  Jumps aren’t allowed.”

Now Oliver is confused.  “I’m pretty sure jumps are a large part of pairs skating.”

And now Diggle laughs.  “Anatoli, you son of a bitch.  He didn’t tell you.”

“Tell me what?”

“I’m not looking of a pairs team,” Diggle says.  “I’m looking for ice dancers.”

And at first, Oliver is like, Hard no.  Pass.  But then he makes the mistake of telling Thea about this strange meeting, and she’s all for it.  “You loved the ice.”

“I did.  I still do.  But I don’t love who I was on the ice.”

“Then do it right this time.”

And oh, look, we’re at the end of chapter one.

So Oliver calls Diggle and says, “I’m in,” and, BTW, who’s my partner?

“Felicity Smoak.  Great skater.”

Oliver’s never heard of her.  Thea, who should know her, has never heard of her.

“Fly out to Boston.  You can see her in action.”

Digg’s right - Felicity Smoak is a great skater.

It’s just - she’s a speed skater.  Short track, to be precise.

“Promise is a promise, Smoak,” Digg says.  “You said you’d give it a try if I found the right partner.  Well, here he is.”

So, to recap: We have a man who hasn’t skated professionally in a decade, with a bum knee who can’t jump; and woman who hasn’t figure skated since she was a little girl.  And yes, Felicity is fast and has great edgework and kind of remembers how to spin - but seriously.  This is the Island of Misfit Skaters, here.

But what the hell, right?

So they start practicing.

And I haven’t figured out all the details, but here’s what I got so far, in bullet points because this is already way too long:

- Turns out Felicity was a crackerjack figure skater when she was little, but the cost of the sport was just too much for her single mother, so she turned to speed skating.  “And roller derby.  You can make some good under-the-table cash at roller derby.”

- Neither one can dance.  Like, really.  They can’t dance.  Digg has to teach these idiots how to dance off the ice, so they can dance on the ice.  “Oliver, can you please hold her a little closer.  My God, you two are adults and you’re acting like this is a middle school dance.”

- So you know how the ISU picks the theme/type of dance for the short program?  Yeah, in this fic, it’s the tango.  So, basically, sex on skates.

- They’re first performance?  UTTER DISASTER.  Horrible short program.  But they pull it together for the long and somehow it goes viral and now everyone is talking about Smoak/Queen because they got like, a million youtube hits. 

- So we go through some competitions and off-ice shenanigans because the best way to get those twizzles in sync is clearly to spend lots and lots of time together off-ice.

- And now it’s Nationals, 2018.

- They’re main competition?  West and West.  As in Iris West and Wally West, a sibling team.

- Smoak and Queen come in second.  Do I want the extra drama of the US Olympic Committee not wanting to pick them for the team?  TBD  

- Other familiar faces?  The Canadian team of Danvers and Allen.  Oliver thinks their suspiciously nice.  (They aren’t.  They are genuinely puppy dogs).  (They’ve been skating together since they were four.  Their mothers have been planning their wedding since they were 13.  Little do they know, Kara is sleeping with James, their choreographer, and Barry has a mad crush on Iris West.)

- Tommy Merlyn and Laurel Lance were contemporaries of Oliver back in the day (they skated pairs), are now engaged, and serve as commentators for whatever fake channel is broadcasting the Olympics.

- Now, here’s where it gets muddy.

- Because in the movie, the woman has a fiancee, and the man sleeps with a rival skater.  And I don’t want to do that.

- So I think we need another source of conflict.

- You remember that episode of Friends where either Ross or Chandler is worried that his actress girlfriend is cheating on him with her co-star?  And Joey says if two people haven’t slept together, their sexual chemistry is through the roof, but once they have, it disappears?

- Oliver and Felicity are at peak sexual chemistry at Nationals.

- And - don’t shoot me - but I kinda want them to sleep with each other before the Olympics.  Or maybe at the Olympics.  In the Village.  The night before they’re scheduled to skate their short program for the Team competition.

- And it’s bad.

- Like - Oliver and Felicity should not have bad sex.  But they’re tired and on a college dorm twin bed and I don’t even know how they got themselves in this situation but the bottom line is they have sex and it’s bad.

- And the next morning is sooooo awkward.

- And they have to skate the tango.

- And like, with the tango, hate could have helped.  But they aren’t angry at each other, they’re just tentative.  And awkward.

- And their program is technically fine but has no fire, no passion.

- And they come off the ice and Digg just looks at them like, Fuck, you idiots screwed each other and now have screwed yourselves.

- Yeah I don’t know what happens next to fix it.

- But they do a great short program a few days later.

- Oh I forgot the part about doing a semi-legal lift or something I don’t know I’m making this up as I type it.

- So they’re in solid position for the long program and they get to skate last and Hey, this would be a great time to have an Airing of the Feelings NO KARA NO ONE NEEDS A COUGH DROP.

- And then they skate the Performance of Their Lives.

- But is it enough?  Do they Win the Gold?

- (They win the gold.)

- Why am I like this?

- Any one got music suggestions for the long program?  Because the short is clearly Assassin’s Tango.

[missmudpie]

@bushlaboo - Found it.