#Arina knows how to make me cry | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

lavenderdaisyhoney · 3 years ago

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Warnings: aot spoilers, angst

Pairings: Armin Arlert x Reader, Reiner Braun x Reader

Word count: 2809

A/N: Tfw I had to repost chapter two because tumblr decided to ✨ delete ✨

Chapter 1 || Chapter 2 || Chapter 3 || Chapter 4 || Chapter 5 ||

Five Years Later

You wake up to Armin thrashing around, covered in sweat. “No. Please. Don’t.” He mumbles.

You rub the sleep from your eyes and gently shake Armin awake. “Armin, wake up.”

After a few shakes, he opens his eyes. The panic slowly starts to leave his eyes as he focuses on you. “Did it happen again?”

You push the hair from his eyes and nod. “That’s the third time this week, Armin. Are you sure you’re okay?”

He sits up and rests his back against the headboard. “I’m not sure. I don’t know why his memories are suddenly haunting me now”.

Just as you’re about to ask another question, your daughter comes running into the room and jumps in between you both.

“Wow, somebody is awake early today.” You say as you put her on your lap.

“Daddy, why are you so sweaty?” asks your ever inquisitive daughter.

“I think it was a little hot for me last night, sugarplum. Why don’t we give mommy a little break and prepare breakfast?” With one last look at you, Armin grabs Arina from your arms and they both head downstairs.

You sit there for a couple of minutes, anxiety on a high. Armin had been having more nightmares lately than ever. Is it a sign? Is it some titan thing letting him know that something is about to go down? You also can’t help but think it might be some stretched way of Reiner trying to reach you. You shake that thought from your head and get up to make the bed.

Once the bed is made, you head downstairs towards the kitchen of your humble home to prepare the feed for the chickens. You see Armin and Arina at the table, laughing.

“Arina, so help me god, what did I say about feeding your breakfast to the dogs?”

“Come on, Y/N. It’s so cute.” Armin defends your daughter...as he usually does. You blame him for how spoiled she’s become.

“Oh, you think it’s cute? I hope you feel the same way when she’s crying for food within the next 20 minutes.” You quickly finish your task, put your boots on, and walk outside.

The long walk to the chicken coop has you thinking about life, which has been pretty simple since you gave birth. At first, it was really hard. You had developed severe postpartum depression and even getting out of bed was a chore. You couldn’t look at Arina, let alone hold her. You felt a slight resentment due to the fact that she wasn’t born with the picture perfect family you had in mind. Guilt still eats you alive to this day. You love your daughter. She’s perfection in human form. You don’t know how you would’ve survived if it wasn’t for Armin.

“Y/N.” Hearing your name shakes you from your deep thoughts. “I see you’re spacing out again. It’s been happening more often.” Armin observes worryingly.

“It’s been five years and not a sign of him or Bertholdt. I can’t shake the feeling that something is going to happen. And then there’s your nightmares. I can’t help but think that things have been too good for too long. We haven’t experienced a day of peace ever since Wall Maria was broken down.”

Armin sighs and starts to massage your shoulders. “I know but you can’t live life that way. Our days are numbered as is. We don’t exactly have the longest life span so we must enjoy what we can, when we can. I still have hope that one day I can see the sea. I know it’s out there, waiting for me. I know you also think I’m a fool for having such hope but it’s still there and will continue to be there until the day I die.” Armin takes the bucket of chicken feed from your hands and starts throwing it out on the coop floor.

You sigh, taking in all Armin said. He’s right, you know. There’s no sense in worrying about an uncertain future at the cost of your present.

“Armin...you know I’m grateful for everything you’ve done for us right?”

Armin pauses “Y/N, you don’t have to thank me. I love Arina as if she was my own...she basically is.”

After the news got out that you were pregnant, you and Armin held a small wedding ceremony because he insisted. You felt guilt for saying yes but you both knew you didn’t love each other like that.

You smile at the mention that Armin has been a great father to Arina. You fiddle with the ring on your third finger, the ring that matches Armin’s.

“We’re a weird family, aren’t we?”

Armin laughs “We’re only weird because you snore like a mindless titan when you’re sleeping.”

You grab the bucket from his hands and hit him with it. “Says the one who mumbles in his sleep.”

The back door to your home opens and Arina runs out, barefoot. She jumps on Armin’s back. “Daddy, I finished all my food.”

“Did you finish it or did the dogs finish it?” He asks while transferring her to his arms.

“Um, the dogs but Daddy you said sharing is caring.” You both laugh because how can one be so adorable. You decide to play the concerned mother role.

“Yeah, Daddy. What were you saying earlier? Oh it’s cute that she feeds all her food to the dogs right?”

Armin fake glares at you and grabs your hand to lead you all back inside.

You’re just about to head back upstairs to get started on the laundry when a knock is heard at the door. You and Armin both look at each other in confusion, neither of you expecting company. You make your way back down the stairs and gesture to Arina to come to you. Once she is safely in your arms, you nod to Armin so he can open the door.

Armin’s blue eyes are wide, starting at whoever is at the door. “Captain?” You hear him ask in confusion.

Captain? As in Captain Levi? You run down the last couple of steps and open the door wider. Sure enough, Captain Levi is standing there.

“Sorry to burst your little honeymoon vacation but you’re both being called back into action.” His ever so gray gaze glaring at the both of you.

You move to stand behind Armin, still holding onto your daughter. Levi’s gaze assesses your daughter and then he tilts his head. “She really does look like you, Arlert.”

“Why don’t you come in for some tea?” You ask as you widen the door and gesture for him to enter.

Once you’re all sitting at the table, Levi holding his cup in his palm, you decide to break the silence.

“Sir, what did you mean about being called back? I thought we both were retired?”

“It means exactly what it means, brat. Unfortunately the new cadets are the worst we’ve ever had, even worse than your squad when you first enlisted. This mission needs dedication, focus, and strength. Things they all lack.”

“But we’re parents now. We can’t just simply pack up and go on missions and risk our lives. We have Arina to think about. Our daughter will not be an orphan.” You thought the titan business was long and done with since nothing has happened for five years but you were very wrong.

“Listen Y/N, if it were up to me I wouldn’t be here trying to break apart your little lovely family. Some mindless got into a village last night and ravaged everyone. Including little kids. You have the highest kill count other than myself and Mikasa. We need to go and make sure it’s completely clear and also patch up any holes in the walls.”

You look at Armin who is just sitting there with Arina on his lap, taking it all in.

Speaking of your daughter, she points at Levi and asks “Daddy, why is that man angry.”

“Arina!” You scold but Levi does the unthinkable. He smirks. This man who you were convinced has never smiled in his life...smirked.

“I’m trying to convince your parents to help me save the world.” He answers and then takes a sip of tea.

Arina makes a grumpy expression and glares at both you and Armin. “Mommy, Daddy, you said saving the world was important. Did you both lie to me?”

Lord, this daughter of yours.

“They didn’t lie. They’re just traumatized over the events of what happened five years ago. Your mother almost died.” You glare at Levi, for mentioning the very thing you’ve been trying so hard to forget.

You put your cup down and wipe some nonexistent crumbs off the table. “Arina, can you go make sure the chickens are okay?” Your daughter nods and hops off Armin’s lap.

“Arlert, you’ve been awfully quiet.” Levi observes.

“What do you expect me to say, Captain? Did you forget the events that took place three years ago? When the Armoured and Colossal decided to come back for Eren?”

The mention of Armin on the brink of death three years ago has you clutching your fist.

“I can barely sleep at night. Bertholdt’s memories play like a movie every time I close my eyes. I have to be extra careful that I don’t hurt myself so I don’t accidentally transform and kill anyone and anything around me. Do you know what that’s like?”

Levi sets his cup down on the table and is about to say something but he looks out the window and his gaze widens. “Shit, Hange.” He gets up from the table and heads out your back door.

You and Armin look out the window to see Commander Hange standing there with your daughter. Behind them, is a mindless titan that has been tied up and muzzled. A mindless titan...close to your daughter.

You get up and run outside, Armin right behind you. You grab up Arina and clutch her to your chest. The mindless big blue eyes are concentrated on your daughter in a way that has you shivering with disgust.

“Hange, do you want to explain what the hell is going on here?”

“Oh Armin! Y/N! It’s so good to see you!” Hange screams as they run to hug you both.

“Enough with the theatrics. I told you to hold off until I spoke to them.” Levi warns.

“Time is of the essence, Levi, and we don’t have the luxury to wait. I have both your ODM gear in the back of the wagon. Let’s go!”

Wait. You never agreed to do anything. “What, Hange. We never said we were coming back.” Armin rests his hand on your shoulder. You turn to look at him and see a look on his face. A look of determination. “Armin, no. We can’t.”

“Listen to me, Y/N. I would never even consider this but I feel like this has something to do with my nightmares. I don’t think they’re nightmares. What if they’re some type of warning?”

“What nightmares, Armin?” Hange asks out of curiosity.

“I’ve just been having the same dream over and over again. I can’t see who it is but they’re extremely hurt and they need help.”

“Hmm. Are you sure they just aren’t a part of Bertholdt’s memories?” Hange asks while scratching their chin.

“It doesn’t feel like it. I just know I have to do this.” Armin looks at you, azure coloured eyes trapping you in their deep depths.

“What are we going to do about Arina?” You can’t just leave her at home.

“Bring her along.” Hange suggests while grabbing a case from the wagon.

“Over my dead body.” Both you and Armin say. At least you can agree on that.

Levi grabs the case from Hange and tosses it at both your feet. “Get changed. Brings the girl. We’ll figure things out later but we need to get going before sundown.”

“What are we gonna do about that mindless?” You ask Hange while Armin opens up the case. “I’m not really comfortable with it being near us.”

“Don’t you worry, Y/N. With some new technology I’ve been working on, I have designed a collar that produces electric shocks that will render it immobile for a limited time. If it ever gets out of hand, I just need to activate the collar. See?” Hange presses the collar and the mindless has a seizure and then loses consciousness.

You slowly start to back away from Hange, covering Arina’s eyes. “Yeah okay. We’re definitely not letting our daughter near you.”

Armin has your odm gear in his hands. “Agreed. Let’s go back inside to put these on and pack a few essentials.”

Once back inside, you finally put Arina down and tell her to pack a couple of things from her room in a small backpack. “Only the important stuff, okay sugar plum.” Armin reminds her.

“I feel like what’s important to a five year old and what’s important to us holds completely different meanings.” You add as you pack some items from your drawers.

“I guess we’re going to double check her bag.” Armin laughs.

You pull off your dress and Armin turns around but not before you see the blush that forms on his face. “You can’t just do that without warning, Y/N.”

“What? We’re married. You’ve seen me at my most vulnerable, giving birth to our daughter.”

“Yeah but that was different.” Armin’s ears are now a blazing red. “Do you think….that we’ll ever come back here?”

You pause putting on your pants. You take a look around the room. It didn’t have much but it had everything you needed for the past five years. “I think it would be naive of us to believe so. We're lucky we even got the years we did.” You’re continuing to put on your pants and buckle the belt. Finally fully dressed, just focusing on the straps now.

Armin walks over to help you with your straps. “Do you remember when we first met? You had put your straps on backwards and we had to do ten extra laps because of the time you took to fix them?”

You glare at Armin. “Yes. Everybody hated me that day.”

“Yes they did but we all got close pretty quickly. Then our squad got smaller just as quick.”

You grab the chest strap from Armin’s hands and tighten it yourself. “What’s your point?”

“My point is, we survived it once. We are older now. Wiser. We have a better chance now than we did before.”

“Now we have to be even more careful because we have a daughter. I can’t...I won’t have her being an orphan, Armin. ”

“Listen to me Y/N, I won’t let anything happen to you or Arina. That is a promise. You can trust me.” Both of you are ready. “Shall we head out now, my wife.” Armin holds out his elbow for you with a bow.

You laugh and reply “yes, my dear husband. Lead the way.” You both head to Arina’s room only to find her sitting on her bed. Still not packed.

“Sugarplum, what’s the matter? We have to leave pretty soon.”

“I don’t want to leave. I like our home.” She complains.

“We like our home too but we have to go help people so they can stay in their homes. So they can be safe.” Armin explains.

“We’re going to help people, Daddy?”

“Yes, my love.” This time, you answer. “They need our help.”

“Okay then. Give me five more minutes.” She hops off the bed and grabs her woven bag and starts stuffing clothes and her teddy bear inside.

Once all three of you are set, you pause at the doorway of your door and take one last look.

“Okay, guys, I spoke to your neighbours and they’re going to look after your animals for the time being. Let’s get this show on the road, woohoo!” Hange screams while hopping onto their horse.

“I already regret this.” You state.

Armin was just about to reply to you when he freezes. The look on his face is the same look he has after a nightmare.

“Armin?” You ask, very concerned. He doesn’t reply right away. You wave your hand in front of his eyes and he finally blinks.

Hange and Levi walk closer to you, sensing something was up. “What’s the matter with him?” Levi asks.

“I-.” Armin pauses and looks at you, his eyes full of regret. “I just had the same vision as the one in my nightmares. That person who I couldn’t really see before, the one who is hurt.”

“Ahh yes. Did you finally see who it was?” Hange asks.

“It was Reiner.” Armin finally answers.

taglist: @porcoqalliard @coffeeforday @lue-arlert @fierydiamond @sinnerofthewalls @reiner69er @levis-hazelnut @oh-theseus @usernamehere91 @honeyspalette @daichisbunny @sashatanaka @maddieschai @therealbisexualjesus

#armin arlert x reader #attack on titan armin #armin arlert #reiner braun x reader #attack on titan reiner #reiner braun #attack on titan fanfic

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haphazardlyparked · 4 years ago

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cousin Billy

lol i have spent two days doing literally none of the things i need to be doing, but meg did suddenly get a cousin. :)))

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“Hey, favorite cousin,” Meg said when I opened the door. “I need a favor.”

I opened it enough to get a good look at her. She was wearing some kind of crude brown coverall-trousers and a rough, threadbare shirt, totally filthy hair (and the Meg I saw off wore a gorgeous dark braid, and now all that thick woven glory was a short frizzy cut that had leaves in it, not even dead leaves, golden and red and orange).

She wasn’t even alone; her entourage included a square-faced man larping as a dirty knight, a tall sallow woman with subtly mis-matched eyes that I absolutely did not notice, holding a small blue dragon statue that did not close one eyelid and curl its tail a bit in. It didn’t, because that would have been insane, or worse, in the realm of fantasy, and that’s one place I generally prefer not to go.

I closed my eyes and shut the door.

Meg immediately started banging on it. “Don’t be like that, cuz, open up, please,” I could hear her say, very clearly, followed by the dirty knight who said, “Lady Meg, should we go somewhere else?”

And the tall woman asked, “What is a cuz?”

“Cuz, cousin, my mother’s sister’s daughter,” Meg explained, exasperated yet very thorough in her reply. Just for the record, she hadn’t stopped banging on my door either.

Then the tall woman, sounding very different and perhaps a bit taller than the first tall woman, which I also decided not to think about very hard, murmured, “You have family?”

There was just enough absurdity in that to make me pause. It was not the loneliness that got me, or the the wistful surprise, like the tall woman had only just remembered family was a thing people could have.

I opened the door and sidestepped Meg’s falling hand. “What in God’s name are you bringing down on me, cuz?” I demanded.

I’ve found that holy curses, the kind my grandparents use, are always safest. That took some trial and error, and a lot of hiding under my covers.

Meg beamed and pulled her arm back the second she realized I’d caved and opened the door. “Billy, these are my, uh, friends, Cal, Arina Firedancer, and—“

“Do you call me that in your own thoughts,” the (second) tall woman wondered, but more in statement form; cool and cutting, with none of that breakable loneliness now.

“Shut up, Arina Firedancer, what else am I supposed to call you?” Meg hissed, introductions derailed. But she paused before she took them up again, glanced at the dragon statue, and then decided to keep mum. If the dragon statue snorted, it might have meant that was exactly this Arina Firedancer’s purpose, but I didn’t see the dragon move at all.

“This is fun, Meg, really,” I told my wayward cousin in a way that emphatically declared the opposite. I crossed my arms and kept my eyes on her very normal, dirt-streaked face. “Disappear for a few years and show up on my doorstep like you haven’t bathed in any of that time, and you have leaves in your hair, by the way.”

“Billy, stop pretending you don’t know exactly where I went, please let us in, and no I don’t.” Meg was trying to smile at me when she said it, only she did not sound nearly as foolhardy and blithely optimistic as the last time I saw her.

Well, that wasn’t my problem. But she was family.

Closing my eyes, I took a deep breath, and then I stepped aside and let everyone come in. Meg knew it the minute my security went down, and she barged through the door with a cry of relief and went running for the bathroom.

Typical.

“Alright, dirty knight, tall woman, very inanimate dragon statue—please do not sit on or touch anything until you’ve washed. Actually, just stay here for a minute. Meg will show you the bathroom when she comes back out. Anyone want a glass of water?”

“Yes,” the dragon statue said.

“Anyone?” I repeated, pointedly, and then the dirty knight, who I presumed was Cal, said, “If you would be so kind,” and Arina Firedancer repeated him, word for word and inflection for inflection, neither cutting nor wistful now. She managed Cal’s earnestly obliging politeness so convincingly, I decided immediately not to trust her.

I retreated to get them two glasses of water to sort out amongst themselves. When I returned, they stood huddled together by my door, Cal positioning himself closest towards me, hand not quite on his sword, while Arina Firedancer watched me with her strange, intent stare. The dragon statue drank water.

At the very least, they were good about not touching anything, though I’d long since moved most things from the small entrance hall. There was a coatrack, in the corner opposite two closed doors that filled one side of the hall, all its walls now bare of the photos that used to be there. The hall itself opened up into the living room behind me, with the kitchen hidden off to one side. My bedroom was one of the doors by the entrance, which you’d think was extremely unlucky and maybe unsafe, but then I’d say, let’s think about where my potentially unwanted visitors might be coming from.

The open living room, and the kitchen for that matter, had very big, spacious window-doors that led out onto a little terrace in the backyard. So sometimes it was better to be near the front door. And my bedroom does have two (locked) exits, so it wasn’t like I wasn’t also hedging my bets. If you were me, you’d be this paranoid too.

It wasn’t long before Meg came out of the bathroom and reappeared in the living room, shaking her hands out to dry, and before she could sit on anything I called out, “Same rules apply to you! No touching anything until you’ve showered.”

Meg jerked up from the beige chair she was about to plant her dirty pants all over, caught, and then straightened with a huff. “Okay, fine.”

“And even if I do let you shower, that doesn’t mean I’m helping you.”

“We only need a door, Billy,” Meg said immediately, abandoning the chair to rejoin us out in the little hall, which was starting to feel crowded. There was a strange purpose to her, no longer smiling to lighten the mood.

“You already know how to get back to your”—I waved vaguely in the direction of Meg’s friends, and didn’t look to see what the dragon statue was up to now—“place.”

Meg tried another smile. It seemed off, for some reason, like there really was something desperate to her. I guess a couple of years living in some weird fantasy land commune--yes, that is the story I'm going with--can do that to a person.

“Not back,” she corrected me, and this time her wheedling grin was just as obnoxious as ever. “Somewhere else. Somewhere like… Fairy?”

“Oh are we talking about that now?” someone said, and then gulped down another sip of water. “Can I talk now? Crouching to be this small is extremely stifling. ”

I closed my eyes, took a deep breath, and counted back from ten. I didn’t care how stupid it made me look.

When I calmed down, I opened my eyes and breathed out. “Meg, you are hands-down my least favorite cousin."

She beamed at me. She knew what I sounded like when I gave in.

••• ••• •••

You might ask why I am still with the thief who doomed me and her knight and their dragon. I could give you a very long and complicated answer about how she also saved me, in her own time, and how the knight and dragon have shown me kindness, and how these are debts that must be repaid. It would be believable. I know how to be believable.

But I record this to be honest. So instead I will think about that space between them, all the things they say, which outline its shape, enough that I can guess at the things they don’t say. They circle each other, some nearly-tangible connection between them, and it’s that thing that I need to see.

It reminds me what it is like to be human, and while I am being honest, I am doing my best to want that again.

Lady Meg’s cousin is… extremely human. Perhaps something humans can become only without the fear of fairy, I suppose, though this one has really been employing the human power of belief to maintain a strange atmosphere in her home. It feels strangely clean. Empty.

She reaches out to Lady Meg and starts plucking leaves out of her hair. I had thought I'd seen them, but they shimmer fully into view when Lady Meg's cousin draws them out, and Meg frowns, washing away the last light of her triumphant, relieved smiles.

"I don't even want to know how long those have been there."

The cousin Billy sniffs. "Me either. You can use the bathroom off my bedroom, and your friends can share the guest one.”

"And you--"

"Yes, yes," cousin Billy says, and her fistful of orange, red and yellow rustles. "I think these might help seeing as they're native to... your destination."

That makes Lord Cal look worried, and Lady Meg rolls her eyes, because that seems to frequently reassure him. Well, it did before the unicorn.

"Let me show you the wash room," Lady Meg announces, while her cousin unhappily examines the fairy leaves. She ushers us through to the next open room. Through there we turn a corner, where there is a door to one side and another room before us, one with high counters, many cabinets and a deep sink. Lady Meg opens the side door to reveal the bathroom.

It is an odd affair, like something between fairy and home. Lady Meg shows us how the taps work in the standing bath and the white chamberpot, and stresses that it's not magic but merely plumbing. She points to the towels folded on a rack, and I cede the first turn to Lord Cal.

Out the door together, we move to the kitchen, the room with the sink where Lady Meg refills the dragon's glass cup. I set the dragon on one of the counters.

"Hey," Lady Meg says, voice lowered in her version of polite. "Am I not supposed to call you Arina Firedancer?"

I look at her for a moment too long before I remember to blink and look away. I know why she’s asking. I shouldn’t be surprised by it anymore, by that directness. “You may call me what you want," I assure her. "I was just surprised… It is very kind of you. " I hadn't expected her to be so courteous.

"Why is..." Lady Meg trails off, then mutters, "Names. Is it that? I'll never understand them."

I shrug. I don't know that any human can, but it feels right to me, honorable, that we don't think in first names, showing how we don't presume to each other's true names. Is that a fairy or human kind of honesty?

When I don't say anything, Lady Meg recognizes my silence and says, "Alright. I'm going to get some clean clothes for you guys, then shower myself."

I wait until she's back with two piles of folded clothes to ask, "And then?"

"Then Billy will find us a door to fairy. Or something. She's really good at that stuff, once you get her to take the blinders off.”

“I didn’t hear that!” cousin Billy’s voice calls from some other room, loud and indignant and very, very human.

The miniature blue dragon's scales rippled. "Your cousin seems very bad at observation," she commented dubiously.

Lady Meg snorted.

#stress what is stress #writing #cal & meg #cousin billy #and arina firedancer #self indulgent 2021

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dear-arin-hanson · 4 years ago

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Advent day 14: Cards Unsent // Game Gyaru au

Arina thought she made it in the clear but right before she could slip her card into the mail shoot there was Rose. They both acted coy, knowing eachother knew, staring eachother down.

"So," Rose says looking down at Arina's hip like she could see around it to the letter grasped behind her back. "You think that cards gonna make 'im take ya back?" She asks then her eyes go back up to her friends, just to have Arina look away as her face went pink.

"Well, it's for my mom soo....." She lies, and they both know that they both know she was too. "I'm just sending a card, I don't care if he takes me back." She lies again and take a deep breath. "I just... I want-"

"I know what you want, Arina..." Rose sighs and moves towards her, able to take the card out of her hands as while the other clenched her jaw. "Skip this one. Trust me." Rose puts the card in her pocket and Pat's her friends shoulder. "Christmas is stressful enough. He'll appreciate the break." Arina nods her lip quivering, trying to bubble up her anger just so she wouldn't cry but it wasn't cutting it. "I'm sorry..."

"Thank you." Arina says before she hugs her. And for a moment Rose thinks shes trying to take the card back but she feels the embrace taught around her, how both hands gripped at her shirt just before she let's go, with both hands firmly planted on her shoulders. She really could have used a few more sseconds that. "Come on, let's go play minecraft or some shit."

#youniversityadvent #yyadvent #suzy #game gayru #if ya know ya know

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wonkookiemon · 7 years ago

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Heart To Heart (J-hope x Reader)

◄Masterlist

◄Most Rated Works: Be a Good Girl † BTS DADDY REACTION

◄Member(s):J-hope (Jung Hoseok) ft. (mentions of namjoon)

◄Word Count: 5k

◄Warnings: strong language, oral receiving (y/n), your hope, your angel, your j-hope.

____________________________

Sometimes you don’t really know where people stand in my life and its unsettling because you’ve always been so sure of the person you wanted to be, and you really don’t have time for humanity to play anymore fucking games. So slowly but surely, you’ve managed to weed out all the bad in your life leaving you with four amazing people who generally had your best interest at heart. Arina, Barnes, Indigo, and Hoseok.

Each of the four have been with you through thick and thin and you greatly appreciate that. You met Arina in grade school at the age of 14, and since then she’s been in your life for as long as you can remember. Barnes joined about halfway through your sophomore year and being the lovable jock out of the group of three. Everyone loved Barnes because seriously what’s not to love? The man was 5’10 built like no other and had the face of a Greek god which got on your last nerve If you were being honest at the time. Barnes was always loyal to you and Arina in ways that not everyone saw at the time. Indigo joined the pack of you three Junior High, by chance the three of you were all in world history together and met Indigo through mutual dislike. The kid was too smart for his own good and it was so frustrating each time Indigo got into a heated debate with Mr. Koller about how Bush had just about everything to do with 9/11. Indigo gave no regards to the kids that were taking the test and resulted in you asking him to kindly shut the fuck up earing both of you Saturday night detention. That night Jimmy Carter had thrown one of the biggest parties of the century and you had missed it to spend your Saturday night cleaning gum of the student bleachers with wise guy Indigo.

By the slimmest chance that night had turned out to be one of the best nights. Indigo had made you laugh and smile the whole time and you slowly started to notice how misunderstood he really was. The man had no idea how to interact with human beings therefore causing his own species to turn on him. Through the dorky glasses and skinny build Indigo was one of the one wisest people you’ll ever meet. After that night you introduced him to the squad of friends and the four of you have been inseparable. What changed for Indigo senior year is when he went off to Italy for the summer and came back looking straight out of a GQ magazine you had almost walked right passed him with a weird look when he called out your name in the hall beginning semester. Once Arina saw him she dropped her books and nearly “fainted”, it was honestly a sight to see. That year Arina and Indigo got close and ended up dating for a couple months till the dynamic between your group got a little weird. Tears were shed, and hearts were broken testing your whole friendship till a week before graduation you invited all your friends one last time for old times’ sake, to a makeshift party at your aunt’s house. The four of you bonded that night in a way that imprinted on your life forever.

Then it was off to college, Arina went to London for school, You and Barnes ended up going to a university in New York together, and Indigo ended up going to Paris, France for school. The band was officially over. You four went from seeing each other every day to talking through computer screens and phones. Sure, you had Barnes, which was amazing but with having different classes and Majors you barely had time to hang. That’s when you met Jung Hoseok. He was by far someone you’d never thought you would cross paths with. In ways that you weren’t creative he was innovative, where you lacked life he was light. When you couldn’t see a way through Hoseok had a fierce sense of optimism. He seemed to be the better half of you in everyway and it scared you shitless that somebody like him, who had no where near as much history as your four friends could know you by the back of his hand without even trying to hard. To him you were an open book.

You met Hoseok when you were out volunteering at the Y your second year of college. He was teaching and advance class for street dancing and you couldn’t help but watch through the small window outside of the mirrored room. Once the class was done the kids rushed out of the classroom breaking your cover. Hoseok smiled at you and introduced himself. “I saw you watching me though the window” He said with a breathtaking smile.

“I uhhh, really enjoyed watching you dance it was….. Refreshing” You replied a little embarrassed you got caught.

The two of you carried on your conversation as if you hadn’t talked to each other in years. Hoseok had a way of making you feel so warm and comfortable in your own skin, so it became easy for you to talk to him without feeling shy. Hoseok had to teach another class that evening cutting your conversation short. He didn’t leave without giving you his number and telling you, “We should hangout sometime, I don’t have many friends on campus, not like you at least”. You returned to your dorms with the biggest smile on your face, happy that you met someone so different. That whole year you and Hoseok or as the kids at the Y called him J-hope, have been as thick as thieves. Finally, your third year you introduced him to Barnes. It was scary how well the two got along. You honestly thought it would be quit the opposite because Hoseok was such a wild card. But he was the perfect balance that most people lacked. The two would go as far as hanging out without you sometimes which made you jealous at times, but you didn’t know why you would feel this way toward a friend. That was all he was right. A friend.

Three years later college is all over and you’ve managed to graduate top of your class along with Barnes and Hoseok. It was almost as if the universe wanted the old squad together again. Adulthood was calling out for the five of you Hoseok included and brought you all together in New York. Arina came back a you ended up sharing an apartment in the upper eastside of Manhattan that suited both of your taste. It was such a blessing for you to have her back in your life even though you’ve been keeping touch it was just never the same millions of miles away. Indigo ended up owning his own brand of companies that littered throughout new your Canada and Paris. The man was ambitious and driven by his own vision of success. He too was more constant in your life when he wasn’t busy running his company. You two were even able to create a schedule that suited his work life just fine, meeting every Tuesday and Friday. Barnes got hitched as soon as you all graduated and had a baby on the way with his long-term girl Bethany. They were the perfect definition of a perfect family.

You then introduced Hoseok to Arina and Indigo and without failing Hoseok got along with your friends just fine. He would rave at how lucky you were to have such good friends and he told you how much he missed his brothers back home in Korea. It then dawned at you how you wanted to see he happier than he usually is on the daily bases, so you did some digging around and bought the two of you round trip tickets to South Korea. It was such an impulsive decision, but you just wanted to see him happy. That’s all you could think about when you finally planned out the whole trip. You even got in contact with one of his brothers Namjoon who helped you plan out the trip as well.

It was finally time to gift Hoseok with the tickets and you were soo nervous and anxious to give them because you really wanted him to see this as a gift and not a loan. You wanted to thank him for all of the years he has been in your life, he has been such a rock that you couldn’t imagine your life without him. You wanted to see him at home with the people that he cared soo much about and to feel the joy that he has always brought to you.

No one could have prepared you for the tears of joy that flowed freely down Hoseok’s face when you gave him the tickets in his living room after a night out. He was speechless and did nothing but hold you tight in his arms as he cried in your shoulder. You thought you knew how much this meant to him until you saw for your own eyes how you completely changed the dynamic of your friendship. Hoseok knew that deep down that he was more than a friend to you in your life. He knew how you both would joke around as say you would do anything for each other and not blink an eye, but this time it was something deeper. He felt it in the way your arms were wrapped around his torso. He felt it in the ay you looked at him for more than the comfortable time just, so you can see him smile a little longer. Hoseok felt your love through the action of wanting him to see his hyungs just so he can be with them and share his new-found life in New York to them. Hoseok felt a love that was so great he had no words to say, all he could feel was the raw emotion that flowed through both of you.

“I just want to see you happy Jay” She smiled wiping his tear streaked cheeks.

That was when he first said it. “I love you, y/n” Hoseok placed his head into her warm lap and basked in the love that surrounded them both.

That summer you and Hoseok traveled to South Korea. During the trip you could feel the changed in your friendship. You completely fell in love with the way Hoseok would be around his hyungs and his family. What made you even cry one night is when you realized that Hoseok was the light of not only your life, but to them as well.

“Are you okay y/n?” Hoseok came into your shared bedroom one night and sat down on the edge of the bed.

“Yeah, Jay I’m okay” You tried to reassure him but when he looked at you deep into your eyes you broke down. Hoseok rushed to your shaking form and held you close to his chest and let you cry on him till you had calmed down.

“What’s wrong jagiya?” Hoseok’s deep voice filled the room, you looked up at his face with puffy eyes and saw the concern etched on his face.

“I’m really happy” You said not saying what you really wanted to say.

“Usually when people are happy, they don’t cry as hard as you just did” Hoseok said smiling down at you.

“I don’t know I don’t think I’ve ever been this happy before” You sat up still wanting to in his embrace you straddled his lap and laid your head on his shoulder. That’s when you felt it. The strong need to plant kisses all over your best friends’ neck. You wanted to hear his pleasure as you made art work or red bruises down the column of his neck. It took all you might to concentrate on what he was saying that whole night while you were on his lap like this.

“Are you even listening y/n” Hoseok asked already knowing the answer.

“I got distracted jagiya” you replied knowing it would make him smile when you used the term of endearment.

Yet again Hoseok was rendered speechless at how quick you could turn him into a mess of a man by just calling him your baby. He needed to leave before an unwanted guest makes an appearance while you sat on his lap.

“I’m off to shower y/n” Hoseok kissed the top of your head unable to help himself, he got up from the bed and you followed him to the door knowing you will be sleeping by the time he’s done.

Opening the door Hoseok went out and leaned on the door post. He tried to speak but was tongue tied as he stared at your beautiful face.

You could feel the heat from Hoseok’s gaze. It was as if time was stopping and neither of you could look away. That should have been it for you both. The look alone confirmed everything you have been feeling towards Hoseok, you finally knew that he felt the electricity that flowed between the two of you, and you were no longer alone in your unspoken feelings for him.

Hoseok was the first to break the moment, confusion littered on his face as he awkwardly mumbled goodnight on his way to the bathroom. The next day felt normal but you both knew that as soon as you went back to New York, everything changes.

*present time*

As soon as you got home you immediately missed Korea already. New York just didn’t have the same vibe. You wondered how Hoseok felt everyday being here.

Arina wanted to know every single detail from your trip and you gladly told her everything from start to finish. “So, you are saying you like him or something?” Arina looked at you curiously.

“I don’t just like him Arina, there is something deeper going on between us and I know he feels it two”

“I fucking knew it! Indigo owes me fifty” Arina shouted in triumph.

“Wait-what!” you frowned.

“I said Indigo owes me fifty” Arina smirked proudly.

“I can’t believe you placed a bet on my and Hoseok’s relationship” you couldn’t help the grin that spread across your face.

“We say it 3 years ago honey, you didn’t fool me” Arina shrugged.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” You asked, surprised that her big mouth didn’t out your feeling for him sooner.

“Because, this way was just more beautiful to watch”

“oh” embarrassed you sunk down into the couch.

“I have never seen a man look at a woman with so much love before till I saw the way Hoseok looks at you”

“Was it that obvious?” you asked a little confused.

“Yeah gurl that man wants you” Arina nodded picking up her empty glass of wine.

“You know, Indigo still looks at you the same way” You changed the subject.

“Wow, turning the tables?” Arina poured another glass and sat back down.

“He still loves you after all this time Arina, we’re fucking 26 and that man has loved you since we were in grade school.

“I know” Arina said sadly.

“Give him a break” You gently wiped away the lone tear that escaped her glassy eyes.

“Do you think I’m ready for that, he’s”

“No more excuses Arina, get your man”

That night you both talked till the wee hours of the morning before calling it quits.

A few weeks past and you haven’t seen Hoseok since the trip. The friend part of you knew he probably needed space or time to think things through, but the needy part of you was selfish and didn’t care for space.

Busy with work Hoseok couldn’t have time to see you and missed you terribly. It was such a weird feeling not having seen you for two weeks and missing you even though you spent the whole summer together. This was defiantly a new feeling. Hoseok was also running from the fact that he was in love with you and had no idea on how to deal with it. Giving up he went ahead and called you before he slept and the two of you stayed on the phone for hours till Hoseok heard her soft snores on the other line.

Dude was fucking whipped and he had no idea as to how he was going to tell you.

The next day Hoseok had planned for the both of you to hangout at the mall after his rehearsal at his dance studio. You were soo happy at the gesture and couldn’t wait to see him. Waiting for his call of arrival you sat on the sofa and let Arina add the finishing touches to your makeup. The perks of having your best friend be a makeup artist.

Your phone rang Hoseok’s familiar ringtone, “Hello” you picked up.

“I’m outside your door” He said. Fuck his voice was so deep.

“Alright I’m coming out” You smiled.

“Have fun you twooooo” Arina sang opening the door revealing Hoseok’s edible looking self. Hoseok blushed pink at Arina’s comment causing you to laugh nervously. Ignoring her you shut the door and faced Hoseok, more like his chest.

Rasing your head you smiled up at him softly. “I missed you” you couldn’t help but say as you slipped your hands around his torso bringing him into a warm hug. He responded and immediately engulfed his arms around you.

“Missed you too jagi” he whispered in your ear, he may not have tried to word it out so seductively but that’s how your horny mind conceived it as and you couldn’t help but press your body flusher against his.

Reluctantly you pulled away from your embrace. What made your body tingle was the lingering touch from Hoseok’s fingers that left your body buzzing even after you left your apartment. For the rest of the day Hoseok continued to tease your mind and body in such cruel ways. By the lingering touches, the way he licked his plump lips after he finished his ice cream, what that man did to that ice cream cone was pure fucking evil. You watched the gentle licks he gave to the frozen dairy product like a starved woman. He even had the nerve to lick some of your ice cream letting out the dirtiest moan when had his share of the creamy dessert. After the ice cream you went shopping for cloths and he snuck you in the men’s dressing room to get your opinion on the outfits he chooses. You watched in awe as he modeled such sinful clothing like the see-through black button up he picked out and paired them with skin tight black leather pants, which left no room for imagination as you saw the way the pants fitted around his private parts and firm ass. You could feel your pussy dampen when he started to unbutton the dress shirt as if you hadn’t had enough. Now Hoseok was shirtless wearing nothing but skin-tight leather pants. He gazed at you from the mirror as he dropped the shirt to the floor and unbuttoned the top of his pants.

“fuck” you cursed before leaving the dressing room and rushing out the store.

“Miss are you okay” The store clerk called out to you as you exited the store.

Hoseok was fucking with you. You knew damn well what he was doing, and he was enjoying the sweet torcher. Flaunting his boy off to you like some slut. It drove you mad. The pent-up sexual frustration you felt was burning through your body and you wanted to act on it but that would be giving Hoseok what he wants.

Walking out of the store Hoseok confidently strides towards your heated form.

“I know you liked them so much, so I bought both outfits” Hoseok smiled innocently.

This bitch, you thought.

“Great, let’s go into forever 21, I want a new bathing suit.” You said ignoring him.

Hoseok couldn’t help but smile. He didn’t know what he deal was, but he wanted you begging for his cock by the end of the night. No more fucking games….. Well except this last one.

Later that night Hoseok walked you to your door and quietly. Neither of you said a word on your way up. Stopping at the door you unlocked it then you turned around and gazed up at him. Hoseok closed the distance between the both of you. His eyes never leaving yours, you bit your lip to hold back a whine from escaping your lips. You could practically feel the tension radiating from both your bodies. He’s kept you on the edge all day and now that he has you practically begging for him he stood and watched you tremble with need.

Hoseok pulled you closer by your waist, his body tingling at the anticipation of having you closer. His tall frame towered over you causing you to arch your body forward so that you could see him better in the low light. “Hoseok” you breathed out causing him to groan in reply. You tried to say something else, but your throat closed. Hoseok leaned down slowly till your faces a mere inch apart. Without another word he pressed his soft lips against yours. Both of you let out moans at the contact, having waited too long to be touched this intimately by him. Slowly Hoseok moved his lips against yours allowing his lips to pull away gently before pressing back leaving you with open mouth kisses. Wanting more you slid your hand up and weaved it through Hoseok’s hair till you settled a firm grip pushing your lips harder against his.

“more” your whimpered on his lips.

Hoseok wanting to pleasure you more quickened the pace of the kiss, adding more pressure to onto your bottom lip till he took it completely in his mouth and sucked on it sensually. You moaned loudly echoing in the hallway but neither of you cared still kissing passionately. Wanting to deepen the kiss Hoseok began licking at your lower lip wanting entrance. Granting him you opened your mouth allowing him to dive in. His tongue explored through your mouth causing an animalistic groan to rip through his mouth as he tangled his tongue with yours. Your body became weak against his as he continued his ministrations till he pulled away pecking you gently on your swollen lips.

“Goodnight” He said with one final kiss on your lips, he walked off leaving your leaning against your front door.

The next day you were deep in thought as you sat down and ate breakfast with Arina.

“You’re awfully quiet.” She observed with a curious glance.

“I’m thinking” you replied rolling your eyes.

“mhmmmm, about that kiss last night?” Arina smirked.

“I can’t believe you-“

“I was watching tv and you were moaning like a whor-“

“oh, my goodness, please stop this I beg of you” You were beyond embarrassed she caught you last night, but you don’t regret a thing.

Later that week Hoseok continued as if the kiss didn’t happen, or at least that’s what it seemed like over text. “you should come over later, I haven’t used my pool yet” he texted you.

He had just recently got a new house out of the city the size of a mini mansion. It didn’t surprise you that he was finally getting bored in the big house all by himself, so you said what the heck and packed you two bathing suits and an overnight bag just in case.

Making your way to the front door you rang the bell and waited for him to open the door.

Hoseok opened the door already in his shirtless and in his swimming trunks. He looked soo fucking good and he knew it based on the knowing smirk he did when he caught you staring for too long.

“I’m going to go change in the bathroom” You smiled already knowing your way around the house.

Staring at the finished product you smirked at how good you looked in the scandalous two-piece suit. Getting one size smaller to let your breast hang over the flimsy fabric in a loose and sexy way. Your bottoms had cut slits at the corners of your inner pelvis and curved your ass just right. Now its time for him to fucking beg for it.

Grabbing a towel out the closet you wrapped it around your body and made your way to the pool. Hoseok was already in the pool doing laps till you sat down on the lounge chair. It was like some seen out of a movie the way he emerged from the pool, water dripping down his golden chest and his hair slick back wet showing off his forehead. You were fucking drooling by the time Hoseok toweled himself off and made his way to the lounge chair to the left of you.

“Its nice and cool-the water” He said smiling up at you.

“I bet, can you help me with this sunscreen” you smiled biting your lip.

“Yeah sure” He replied grabbing the bottle from the table.

Turning around you smirked to yourself, ‘game on’. Getting up from the chair your let the towel drop to the side and you slowly bent down to remove your sandals from your feet. Turning your body back towards him Hoseok ogled your body shamelessly slicking his lips as he saw how good you looked in that barely fitted bikini.

You sat back down and turned around, so he could start with your back. You herd the click of the bottle opening anticipating the feel of Hoseok’s hands on your back. You moaned softly at the cool sensation of the lotion being spread against your warm back. Hoseok made sure to spread his fingers gently against your back and apply the right amount of pressure to get the job done.

Once he was done he was hard. There was no shaking the arousal he felt now, and he needed to calm the fuck down.

“Thanks Jay, baby” you purred sweetly before applying the rest of the sunscreen on your body. You laid back down and enjoyed the rays as you relaxed by the pool. Hoseok went back in the water for a couple more laps and you decided to take the time to untie the strings of your bathing suit. It was a normal act in which people used to do to avoid tan lines. Hoseok thought nothing of it as he observed you from the pool. What caused him to get out of the pool was when you reached beside the lounge chair and grabbed the sunscreen bottle again.

“You need help?” He asked needing another layer as well.

“Yeah if you don’t mind” you smiled cutely. “I just need to get my chest if you don’t mind, I kind of want a full tan y’no?” Hoseok sat on the edge of your lounge chair ready to get your back when you moved and sat straight up with your bathing suit left on the spot where you laid. His body tensed up as he saw the movement of your bare breast in front of his face. He wasn’t even embarrassed at the way he stared at your topless body. Looking up into your face Hoseok’s eyes widened at the coy smile that etched across your face. You knew exactly what you were doing, and you waited for Hoseok to pull the next move.

Without hesitation Hoseok placed his hands on the top of your chest and let the sunscreen spread till he reached the swell of your breast. Gently he began to caress your breast softly spreading the lotion. Your nipple beaded at the attention given making you moan softly, you scooted closer wanting more pressure against your needy breast. Hoseok seemed to get the message and began tugging and pulling a bit rougher than before. Hoseok looked up to see the pleasure etched against your beautiful face and tugged harder causing you to gasp loudly. You looked up into Hoseok’s gaze and moaned out in pleasure. He couldn’t believe how beautiful you looked all body all arched and needy for his cock.

“tell me what you want baby” he husked out darkly.

“Please touch me” you moaned unable to control yourself anymore.

“Well I am touching you sweetheart” he chuckled.

“NO!” You grabbed one of his hands and brought it down to your heated core. “Here, touch me here”

“You want me to touch your pussy?” Hoseok whispered dirtily in your ear.

“Fuck, yes” you whimpered at the pressure he applied.

“as you wish my love” Hoseok slipped his hand into your bikini bottom and dove into your wet core, your body dropped back into the chair as you moaned grinding your pussy against Hoseok’s fingers.

“That’s it baby, fuck my hand” changing position he let his body hover over you as you fucked yourself onto his hand. Without warning he inserted two fingers into your wet pussy. At this point your body was trembling in pleasure with your high almost near. Then he pulled out making you whine in protest, pulling down your bottoms for better access Hoseok drove his fingers back in caressing your top wall with the constant forward motion. This had you screaming causing Hoseok to cover your mouth as he continued to finger your drenched pussy.

You were soo close you could practically feel your orgasm nearly hitting you. Hoseok knew as well so he leaned down and captured your swollen clit in his mouth and began sucking sensually. You body began to spaz out at the overload of pleasure you felt as he continued to thrust his fingers deep in your core.

Finally breaking free your orgasm rushed throughout your body, Hoseok’s hand muffled your cries of pleasure as you came. Slowly coming back to earth, you whimpered at the over sensitivity as Hoseok rubbed your fold at a lazy leisure.

Bringing his hand up to his mouth Hoseok licked your arousal off his fingers gazing in your eyes as he completed the lewd act. You bit your lip unable to look away. Leaning down Hoseok captured your lips into a heated kiss before pulling away, “I love you” He whispered against your lips. You could see the vulnerability in his eyes as he said these three words. He was completely giving himself to you and you could feel the silent surrender that hovered over the you both.

“I love you too” you grinned pulling him back down against you for another kiss.

Took the both of you a while to admit it but you’re glad you could go through life knowing that you had this moment here and now that changed everything for you.

◄MASTERLIST

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nurarina96-blog · 6 years ago

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I Am Enough

It is the start of 2019. I thought I had it all planned well. But as Ariana Grande says “Just know that there’s up and downs and there's drops.”

Towards the end of 2018, I did a lot of reflection. I mean it. A LOT. I realize, there are a lot of things I want to fix within me. Career, studies, families, friends, relationships, money.. Everything. There are problems in every situation of my life. I basically was not satisfied with how things are. I read tons of books to make myself feel better. Sure it helps, I’m better than before. But I still am not satisfied.

Why do I feel this way? Why do I feel like I am always not good enough? Thanks to Marisa Peer, a therapist that I stumbled upon while hearing a podcast.

I JUST DON’T FEEL ENOUGH.

Because I don’t love myself enough, that I feel like I am lacking in every area. There are days where I feel like work is torturous, no one understands me, I’m such a bad friend, colleague, I love-hate a guy that I am seeing, why does he treat me this way.. all of this negative thoughts will creep up.

I SHOULD STOP RELYING ON THE EXTERNAL

What I mean here is that I realize I should stop relying on people to make me feel awesome. Sure, work is work. But I am a great young designer that is freaking brave to be alone for a year. While everyone else quits, I stay. I don’t need others to understand me, I understand myself and work my ass up. I’m not a bad friend, I perhaps need to do more things with them although it’s not my type. If a guy doesn’t treat me right, he is losing a wonderful girl. Stop worrying about him. Focus on yourself Arina. You have the ability to be direct and expressive, while others will stay timid. You’ve done your part and now let it be. Stop chasing people. Chase to look after yourself. You may want to spend your special day with special people, but why do you forget that you are freaking special?!

Please don’t make anything a hindrance to achieve the happiness you want. People may reject you. But you have not to let it in. You don’t have to reject yourself.

In 2019, no matter how tough things get, I want you to always compare yourself with people below you. NOT above. And realize, how lucky you are. Your problems may be a dream problem that others want, how fortunate is that?

Sometimes you hate yourself for crying, just cry dude! Let it out but that’s all. Move on okay?

I know you don’t believe in yearly resolution but if you are forced to, here is one for you. Start LOVING YOURSELF MORE THAN OTHERS. Be your own friend, therapist, and soulmate.

You are awesome! <3

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swiftbejeweled · 7 years ago

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My thoughts on the Junior Free Dances below:

Karina SIDARENKA / Maksim YALENICH (Belarus): I missed these two so I’ll catch up on them later haha.

Viktoriia AZROIAN / Aleksandr SIROSHTAN (Armenia): Oh, honey, what is that outfit? You’re 15 not 60. I don’t actually dislike their concept, I think it has a certain charm to it. But their connection is just incredibly awkward. Skating skills not the best and I’m not sure I like the music change. Definitely some interesting lifts in there though.

Alice ROGATNIK / Yehor BARSHAK (Israel): Again, I really like their choreography. And her flexibility and elegance are wonderful. I get that their edges aren’t great and twizzles are still far apart and they might not be the fastest, but I think they’re likeable. They seem to have a good partnership.

Tatjana BUNINA / Ivan KUZNETSOV (Estonia): Okay, she looks like a flamingo and they don’t match lol. Again, individually they’re not bad, together it gets a bit awkward. I did not feel secure having him do that ambitious lift with her lol. She still has all the expression and he has none lol. They’re not bad, and still very young, but they have a long way to go. It was so cute how she was nearly crying when they finished.

Mira Isabel POLISHOOK / Deividas KIZALA (Lithuania): Igor darling, why are you stealing all of VM’s music this season? Pilgrims on a Long Journey? Really? They were very pretty though and I do like them. I love the combinations of blues, even if it is a little Chock/Bates at the Olympics. They are very sweet and likeable though. Definitely the most expressive so far. I’m just a bit distracted by the music choice.

Sasha FEAR / George WADDELL (Great Britain): Again, still think she’s better than he is. And I don’t feel the inventiveness from them at all. It all feels a little too Torvill/Dean, kind of P/C and not in a good way. I want to see something new and fresh, not the same things a million times. I don’t think I’ll remember any of this performance.(Just realised Romain coaches them, so the P/C comparison feels right lol.)

Lila-Maya SECLET MONCHOT / Renan MANCEAU (France): WOW. That was a mess. The opening was weird. His twizzles died in the 3rd set. And then they collided and crashed. YIKES. Disaster. I’ll remember this one, but not for good reasons.

Lara LUFT / Asaf KAZIMOV (Germany): Ooh, that dress is not flattering. Some of this is nice. But I still find them boring. It was nice, but nice is the only word I have for it. The music change was...odd. It didn’t flow from the first half at all. I felt like actually they should’ve started with the first piece of music and used Say Something at the end.

Natalie TASCHLEROVA / Filip TASCHLER (Czech Republic): Yaaaas, let’s get some Imagine Dragons up in here. I’m finally interested. Chasing Cars, an interesting transition of music there. I love these two. You can tell they love the music they’re skating to. What they lack with skating skill they make up for in performance and passion and innovation. Such a shame about his fall. But I continue to love what they’re bringing more than most of the other couples.

Francesca RIGHI / Aleksei DUBROVIN (Italy): Are...are these two a couple? I thought I saw a kiss there and there was a ‘charged’ moment before their Rhythm as well haha. It would certainly make sense as to how they can make the simple stuff look so passionate. They have great chemistry. I think they’re better at the soft romantic stuff than the faster pace where they start to lose it. That’s probably something they need to work on. They definitely played to their strengths with this free. But they have a great foundation to build on here.

Ekaterina ANDREEVA / Ivan DESYATOV (Russia): I definitely liked this more than their Rhythm dance. I still don’t feel like they’re the best fit as a couple though. She’s very aggressive and eye-catching and he feels a little lacklustre in performance. I don’t feel like it works. I feel like they’re telling completely different stories with their bodies. It’s a shame because their basic skating is good, but there’s also something about it that’s messy and frantic.

Ashlynne STAIRS / Elliott GRAHAM (Canada): Well, this dress is miles better than yesterdays! I still feel like there’s a bit of a disconnect for them as a couple, but I think I heard that they’ve not been together that long so it’s understandable. I sometimes feel like she’s trying to lead. They look much better apart than they do together right now. The last section of music was the most fun and definitely showed them off the best.

Irina GALIYANOVA / Grayson LOCHHEAD (Canana): It’s our second ‘A Thousand Years’ of the day haha. She’s definitely the better performer, but they look good together as a pairing. They have a nice elegance and softness. Good deep knees and speed. They have some potential for the future, for sure. I would’ve liked the choreography to have evoked more emotionally because the music choices were definitely telling a story that wasn’t quite translated. I think they deserved more points than their fellow country-team.

Yana BUGA / Georgy POKHILYUK (Azerbaijan): Not really a fan of the music choice again. Their skating skills are really wonderful. They’re very strong and committed. I’m just not at all interested in the concept.

Oona BROWN / Gage BROWN (USA): Don’t thnk I didn’t spy the MR lift you little babies! Haha. I love these two. So well timed, so sharp, so much skill at such a young age. I love them. HOLY CRAP THAT PART CLOSE TO THE ICE WAS INSANE. I’m so sad they fell. SHE WAS LIFTING HIM. God, I LOVE LOVE LOVE THEM. THAT SCORE WAS A TRAVESTY.

Darya POPOVA / Volodymyr BYELIKOV (Ukraine): We resume our scheduled programming of boring routines. Sigh. Yes, technically good. Also, not really inventive either. The high scores for them and Azerbaijan annoy me. It’s the P/C effect.

Arina USHAKOVA / Maxim NEKRASOV (Russia): Well, at least this was more interesting than some of the others. Twizzles were great. Fast and sharp (if a little messy in its aggressiveness?) There are plenty of Russian teams I’ve preferred over these in the Grand Prix circuit so far this year. I also, do not get the concept of this program at all haha. I think that score is inflated.

Avonley NGUYEN / Vadym KOLESNIK (USA): They’re very pretty skaters and I like their musical interpretation more in this routine. But there’s something about their partner work that just doesn’t work for me? She grabs his shoulders a lot and I don’t know why but I really don’t like it. I feel like she hardly ever holds his hand but is always holding his upper arm or shoulder. I don’t see them do very much proper dance hold. I do like the concept of their free and they had some beautiful lifts in there though. They lack some of the sharpness of the Russians but they also didn’t have so much aggression as to lose the delicate elegance.

#lois watches junior ice dance

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separatist-apologist · 2 years ago

Text

Love Is A Lie

Summary: After her mothers death, Arina goes from the well-loved daughter of a nobleman to a servant in his home. She dreams of escaping to the coast and making her own way, and when she learns of a ball the King of Avalon is hosting to pick a wife, Arina sees her chance. With a little help from a fairy godmother, Arina agrees to exchange a favor for one night with the King.

But Eris Vanserra has other plans when they meet, and Arina isn't sure she's ready for the consequences of one night dancing at a ball.

Part Two of OUAT series

Read on AO3 | Chapter 1

A soft knock at the door pulled Arina from her thoughts. She was free, or so the king said, though he’d put her in a series of interconnected rooms and then instructed the door be locked from the outside. There was consistent food and hot water and a balcony overlooking a jewel-bright forest, but it was still a cage.

Arina had stayed up through the night, crying and pounding at the door until she grew tired and moved to a window seat in the sitting room. The door at the far end of the cavernous space unlocked and the princess of Ellesmere—or, Avalon, now that she’d married Prince Lucien, slipped in.

“Hello,” she murmured, tucking a thick curl behind her ear. A rosy gown matched her bright cheeks, swishing around her legs as she made her way over the immaculate white and gold swirled marble floors. “How are you feeling today?”

“I’ve been locked inside the palace while the king plans my wedding,” Arina replied bitterly, turning back for the window. “How do you think I am?”

There was a pause. “Is…why did you come, if not to be his wife?”

“I came to ask him to free me from my father,” Arina replied, well aware of what Elain Vanserra was going to say in response.

“He did…in his way—”

“There were hundreds of women there,” Arina interrupted, turning her desperation onto this woman. “I never thought he’d find me interesting. He was supposed to inform my father I was free to leave and then forget I existed.”

A smile tugged at Elain’s lip, like she knew some secret Arina didn’t. Arina didn’t have the ability to feel anger, at least, now at Elain. So when Elain sat beside her, taking Arina’s hand in her own, Arina didn’t pull away.

“Eris is stupid,” she said, catching Arina off guard. “But he means well. And this isn’t forever, either.”

“Couldn’t you…just…explain it to him.”

Elain’s smile didn’t fade. “There’s no reasoning with him. Didn’t you wonder why Connall came all that way to make sure you had an invitation? You were the only person he wanted to see.”

Arina had heard a servant say that, too. Drawing her legs up under the silken yellow dress she’d been put in, Arina said, “He hated me—”

“He just doesn’t know how to soften his face. We’re working on that. But he didn’t hate you then, and he doesn’t hate you, now.”

“If he cares for me, he should let me go.”

“Men are terribly selfish creatures,” Elain murmured, squeezing Arina’s hand. The sun snagged against the pearl ring nestled over her finger, reminding Arina that this princess had gotten to choose her own husband and was better for it. She simply didn’t understand because she was exactly where she wanted to be.

“So that's it, then? I just…do whatever he wants and tell myself to be grateful?”

Arina shrugged. “You could, if you wanted. But Eris is a grown man who could use someone snapping at him. And just between you and I, I think you could have the freedom you’re so desperate for even as his wife. Afterall, surely you’re not the only woman trapped in this predicament?”

Arina looked up at Elain. “I never asked for that.”

Elain sighed softly. “Who does? Still, you have it and you could do great things if you wanted to.”

Arina didn’t believe that for a second. However, when Elain left, Arina waited for the tell-tale click of the lock and when it didn’t come, she bolted. Unlike her home, where no one dared to look at her and certainly never spoke to her, here it seemed everyone wanted to hear her speak. Every couple steps a servant was curtseying or a courtier pausing to ask how she was liking the Forest Palace.

As if they hadn’t all watched Eris carry her back into the palace sobbing into his jacket. She knew rumors must have spread, though the nature of them eluded her. Did they know the truth? Or did they think she was so impossibly happy she’d merely broken down? And which was more embarrassing?

By the time Arina made it back outside, she was all tangled up in her thoughts and, perhaps worst of all, lost. She had shoes, and her dress had long sleeves, but she wasn’t equipped to run on foot. So, she decided this was merely reconnaissance. Eris likely was aware she was moving through his palace and would be coming to look for her—better to lull him into a false sense of security.

Though, as Arina crunched over the grounds, fingers skimming flowers that reached her hip, she thought of what Elain had said. How many other women were in her predicament? Arina had never given that any thought, certainly not before. She’d been so focused on survival that getting out was all Arina had ever hoped for.

Now, though…now the King intended to make her his wife. Did men truly abide by the whims of their wives, or was that merely a tale told to young girls to make them feel better for the raw deal marriage offered?

Arina made it just to the border of the woods when the King appeared, far more casual than he’d been the night before in a fawn brown coat and dark, black trousers tucked into gleaming boots. His cape was, as always, draped over one broad shoulder, clasped around his chest with a gold chain.

“Princess,” he murmured, amber eyes gleaming. “How nice to see you outdoors.”

“Someone unlocked my bedroom door,” she shot back, catching the shuttering look of guilt that flashed across his features.

“Trying to escape?” he guessed.

“Just inspecting my new home,” she lied. Eris knew, though, judging from that sharp smile.

“I’m sure that’s all you’re doing. How are you finding the palace?”

“Big. I could use a map.”

“You should have asked Elain,” he commented, stepping closer to her. Close enough she could smell the scent of warm bourbon and fire smoke against his skin. Sweet and bright, yet still heady and masculine. Arina fought back a shiver and lost when his fingers brushed over the back of her hand. “Or me. I would be happy to show you every place a great lady such as yourself might evade her husband and vanish to the coast.”

“Oh? Is that what your mother did?”

He flinched. “She tried.”

Arina knew his fathers reputation. Everyone knew. The former king had never tried to hide his rage, nor had he ever cared about the obvious bruises his wife bore, often in public. Eris peered down at Arina, and she wondered if this was the moment he promised not to hit her.

“I spoke with your father today,” he said instead, taking her by surprise. Hands in his pockets, Eris nodded for her to follow beside him. Arina tripped after him, heart thudding in her chest.

“Oh? What did he say?”

Grinding his teeth, Eris said, “He’s asked if you’ll require a dowry and informed me you don’t have one. He thinks I should pick another woman.”

Arina’s stomach splattered at her feet, even as she agreed. “You should.”

“I won’t. A dowry is your protection…and now you don’t have one.”

“What protection could a dowry provide against a king?” Arina demanded.

“It doesn’t matter,” Eris grumbled, shaking his head of auburn hair. “There isn’t a man at court with a daughter that hasn’t been preparing a dowry but yours doesn’t have one.”

Arina stared. Did he think she’d been working as a maid for fun? There were a million things she could have said, and though it was tempting to grab him by the shoulders and shake him until some sense rattled into that head of his, Arina merely said, “You could always pick another wife.”

“I could,” he agreed, clasping his hands behind his back. “But I won’t. We’ll be married in a month.”

“And then what?”

Eris only shrugged. “Have you considered the piano? All the great ladies at court seem to play it.”

Arina whipped around, crowding his personal space. “What is that supposed to mean?”

He shrugged, the picture of bored nobility. “If you’re looking for a terribly boring hobby, why not join the rest of the ladies at court and take up piano?”

“You know what your problem is?” she hissed.

Eris smirked. “Why don’t you tell me?”

“You and your well-read lords at court decide what women are allowed to learn. Sewing, piano, and gardening. If we’re allowed lessons, it's paltry in comparison to your own and all of it is in service to one day being your vapid wives. You keep us in the dark purposefully so you will always be the smartest man in the room, and then turn around and mock us for not being as interesting as you. God forbid a lady try and impress the great king with her piano skills! You don’t get to have it both ways, your majesty.”

And then, with a pounding heart and a dry mouth, Arina curtseyed mockingly while Eris stood utterly still, jaw clenched as he watched. She couldn’t believe he was going to let her get away with what she’d said, but Arina had to say it. Especially since she knew the ladies at court were far more accomplished than she was, and he was already mocking them. How long before he realized how lacking she was and hated her for it?

Arina spun on her heel, not wanting to be so close to him simply because his eyes were threatening to wreck her anger. She made it all of three steps before he was back on her, fingers curling around her wrist.

“Let me go—”

“What are you interested in, then? Tell me,” he added, a strange note of pleading lacing his authoritative words.

“So you can mock me?” she demanded, wrenching her arm from his grasp. “I don’t think so.”

“Tell me,” he repeated. Arina understood why he was king right then. Legs trembling, Arina had to force herself to remain upright when every part of her wanted to bow before him. Eris wasn’t smiling, nor was he truly asking. He was ordering her to tell him.

“When my mother died, my education ended. I—” she bit her bottom lip as Eris edged closer, eyes gleaming with interest. “I wanted to work in a library when I left. Make up the deficits in my knowledge.”

Eris nodded, lips pressed together in a firm line. It was impossible to gauge how he felt about this information. Was he regretting his decision, knowing she knew even less than everyone around her? That his wife was so poorly mannered she’d yell at him on his own lawn? A strange war wrestled in her chest—between hoping he’d let her go and the fear he’d no longer want her.

Eris inclined his head, a dismissal if Arina had ever seen it. There would be no dissecting his thoughts today, which ought to have filled her with relief.

And yet, with each step Arina took away from him, she felt worse. Like she ought to have stayed. Turning only once, she found him watching her leave, head cocked. It needed to be said, she reminded herself. And it changed nothing between them. She still needed to leave before the wedding took place and she was irrevocably bound to him.

She only needed to figure out how.

ERIS:

“Lord Novak, thank you for meeting with me,” Eris murmured, refusing to stand when Arina’s father slithered into the room. The mere sight of him filled Eris with rage. The man was well-dressed and elegant, handsome by all accounts. Eris had seen him over the years at court, traveling from his shitty little town to simper at his fathers feet.

Had he been a better man, he’d have brought his daughter with him. A daughter Eris might have had the opportunity to court properly, so their impending marriage was less of a shit show. She might at least like him, which was all of the battle at this point. Eris had every servant, every guard, and every friend he could count on instructed to keep him informed of her comings and goings. Elain had tracked Arina down and the last Eris heard, the pair were mapping out the palace so his future wife could try and escape him in the night.

It wasn’t ideal, of course. If anyone could persuade Arina on his merits—along with the charms of his home—it was Elain. It occurred to Eris he ought to be paying Elain for the good work she did. He wouldn’t—but he ought to. Lucien could pay her if he wanted to, given he had access to the palace coffers.

But back to the matters at hand. Eris lounged on his throne, his mind still on the lawn with Arina. She’d looked at him with such hatred it robbed him of breath. It had been only luck that kept him on his feet rather than on his knees, begging her forgiveness. This was not an auspicious start to a marriage.

It was far easier to blame her father than to blame himself. So Eris, drumming his fingers on the arm of his throne while Novak straightened himself up.

“It’s my pleasure, your majesty. How can I be of service?”

“Why did you discontinue Arina’s education?”

Novak straightened, smoothing his hands over the cream jacket he wore. Eris expected a stammering apology. Not— “She lacks aptitude, sire. Are you learning this as well? My late wife spent a great deal of time and effort trying to turn her into a great lady, but Arina only cared to run barefoot through the mud. Focusing her on more detailed tasks helped a little, but she was always far too wild for court.”

Far too wild for court. What was wrong with Eris that the knowledge his wife might join him in the forest, might enjoy a little mess, aroused him? He didn’t betray a hint of it to her father, not wanting Novak to think he had any leverage over Eris.

Once the wedding happened, he intended to strip the man of his titles to repay him for his treatment. But for now, Eris merely nodded his head. “I see.”

“If you’re reconsidering—and I would urge you to, your majesty—my wife and I would be happy to take her back.”

Yeah, Eris bet they would. And he knew he’d never see her again, regardless of what he ordered Novak to do. There’d be some story of a contagious illness, and then a funeral and Eris would never be subjected to the loathing in her pine green eyes. What a tragedy.

Eris merely stared until Novak withered, bowing his head. “My apologies, majesty.”

“What killed her mother?”

“Consumption, sire. It swept through the village. I believe it was Arina who brought it into the house. She’d been told to stay indoors but she doesn’t listen, I—”

“That’s enough,” Eris ordered, heart racing in his chest. What kind of life had Arina lived where she could be blamed for her mothers death, ripped out of the life she’d grown accustomed to, and made to serve a man who likely had never loved her. “You will stay away from her unless she expressly requests your presence. And you will leave court immediately until I decide what I want to do with you.”

“Sire?”

But Eris had no intention of explaining himself to the likes of Novak. Waving a hand, he sent the man out of his throne room tripping over his own jeweled boots. Eris watched him go before summoning Connall back to him. He was the only one who’d remained behind, asserting he had no interest in a foreign princess or convincing her sleeping body to love him, and Eris didn’t want to see all his brothers die battling a dragon.

In truth, he would have sent none of them if he could get away with it. Earning Elain’s goodwill had been a good move at the time—she was doing all the hard work of making Arina feel at home in the palace.

Connall entered mere minutes later, hair mussed and his shirt half buttoned. “Brother,” he said with a lazy smile. “I’m not going to bow.”

“How about tucking in your shirt?” Eris asked instead.

“No point. You left so many ladies at court heartbroken, brother. The least I can do is console them.”

“Yeah, I’ll bet.”

Connall glanced around the empty room, pausing in a wide shaft of sunlight streaming through arched windows. Eris could recall a time when their father used to drag them all in, lining them up in the same spot to decide which son he hated the most—and who would be punished for it. His brother was making a good show of pretending he wasn’t worried Eris was about to do the same.

Standing, Eris met his brother at the bottom of the three steps leading up to the dais. “I want to strip Novak of his titles and ancestral lands.”

“Bold,” Connall replied with a wicked smile. “And dangerous, if the other lords disapprove.”

Eris nodded, hands behind his back as he walked Connall out of the throne room. “I need a reason. Surely you could help me manufacture one?”

Connall’s smile widened. “Careful, brother, or people will start to think you have a weakness.”

Eris hadn’t considered that, and it irked him that he had to think about it now. Sighing, he said, “A wife assumes I have some affection—”

“Don’t let father hear you say that,” Connall interrupted smoothly. “What is it you’re asking from me, brother?”

“Find anything that gives my plan legitimacy. Preferably something financial—something the other lords are likely also doing so they’ll think twice about crossing me.”

Connall nodded. “I can do that, if it's what you want.”

It was—kind of. What Eris really wanted was to drag Novak into the dungeon, string him up, and torture him long enough to feel whatever pain Arina had suffered. The only thing that kept him from doing so was his belief she wouldn’t thank him for such cruelty. Given she already thought so poorly of him, Eris was motivated to make things easy—and keep his behavior quiet.

Connall bled off in the hall, vanishing past a corner before Eris could warn him not to fuck another married woman. Again.

As if it would make any difference. The more in love the woman, the bigger the challenge as far as Connall was concerned. Eris couldn’t police his brother, who was likely to die in a duel one day from a pissed man. Sometimes he thought his brother found that a terribly romantic way to die.

His brothers were fools.

Not him, though. Or, that’s what he told himself as he made his way through the palace to the little breakfast nook he knew Elain and Arina were in. He could fix things between them by proving he wasn’t as awful as she imagined, and that he cared about her and what she wanted.

So long as what she wanted was to remain here with him. Maybe it was manipulative, then, to dangle the only thing he really knew about her over her head. But Eris was a desperate man, well aware that one day his wife was going to try and sneak out in the night and he might very well lose her.

From the hall, Eris could hear loud giggling—which ended the moment he opened the door. Both Elain and Arina turned their gazes toward him. Eris had stared down armies, his father—a witch masquerading as a human queen—and nothing had ever intimidated him half as much as Elain and Arina’s faces right then.

Was he King of Avalon? He felt like a schoolboy. Clearing his throat, Eris looked at his would-be wife. She was beautiful in yellow, hair curled around her perfect face in accordance with the latest fashion. In a better world—one where she wanted him—he would have been allowed to slide his fingers through the strands and see the pins clatter to the floor.

But that wasn’t his world, and to that end, Eris asked, “Are you two done in here?” “Why, my lord, I don’t think we’ll ever be done mocking you,” Elain replied sweetly, dabbing the corner of her lips with a lace napkin.

Eris merely arched a brow. So that was how it was to be, was it? There were a million things Eris wanted to say—and would, just as soon as Arina wasn’t able to hear him. Arina kept her lips pressed together, though her eyes were bright with amusement. Fine. So long as she wasn’t looking at him hatefully, it would have to do.

“With me, then,” he ordered, nodding with his head for Arina to join him in the hall. He stepped out so she could quietly thank Elain for her hospitality and kindness. It was something he knew hadn’t been regularly extended to her. Arina met him in the hall, arms crossed over her chest.

“Come to mock me again?”

“I wouldn’t dream of it,” Eris replied, offering her his hand which she pointedly declined. Ouch. Sighing softly, he added, “Follow me. I have a gift for you.”

“I don’t want any gifts.”

“Well, you’ll have it all the same.”

It was Arina’s turn to sigh, though she continued to match his pace. Eris didn’t slow down, deciding if she wanted to be difficult, well—he could be, too. Arina was taller than most women, though she couldn’t touch him for height, and more than once he caught her lifting her skirts as they went upstairs so she could keep up.

And Eris pretended the sight of her bare legs weren’t doing something to him.

She was making a mess of him. He’d seen far more of women than just an ankle—he’d seen multiple women dance before him, naked as they touched each other, touched him. It should have been nothing, to see that hint of golden skin, that slim leg and yet Eris had to resist adjusting his cock lest she realize just how much power she held over him.

“What is this?” Arina demanded, halting just outside the golden doors pulled open to reveal the library just inside.

“A library, Arina,” he replied patiently. If looks could have killed, he would have been dead. He took the opportunity to brush his fingers over her back, guiding her inside. There was nothing like this place in the world—save for, perhaps, Helion’s grand libraries on the continent. But here, there was just Avalon, and the six stories filled with shelves and chairs and art. Scholars, too, who spent their whole lives within the palace walls trying to uncover the mysteries of their world.

Like the curse that had been put on Elain. But for today, all he wanted was to give Arina a reason to stay. His head scholar made their way toward them, unnoticed by Arina who was staring up at the glass dome overhead that allowed brilliant sunlight to pour into the room. She seemed to glow, standing in a golden shaft like a princess of daylight.

He wanted to kiss her. Instead, Eris greeted the red robed scholar with a respectful incline of his head. “Agnus,” he murmured, drawing her attention. “This is Arina.”

Agnus bowed deeply, revealing the shiny, hairless top of his head before his hood flopped over it. The older man kept his eyes on Eris’s would-be wife, reaching for her hand to offer a respectful kill. More jealousy looped through him, squashed quickly as he reminded himself Agnus had his own wife he was, by all accounts, very devoted to.

“His majesty speaks very highly of you. He says you have ambition to be a scholar?”

Arina looked over at Eris, eyes wide with surprise. Did she really think he went all over the palace besmirching her good name? He kept his expression neutral, waiting for Arina to speak.

“I—he’s right. I do.”

“Well. It would be my honor to instruct her highness in whatever matters she requests. I am at your disposal.”

“I’ll leave you two to it, then,” he murmured, turning before Arina could do something that would ruin this for him. He’d given her what she wanted. There was no need to hide away on the coast. Her father would be worse than a beggar by the time Eris finished with him, and his wife would be the best educated woman in the realm, if she wished to be.

What else could she want? He’d give her houses and horses and wealth beyond her wildest dreams if she’d only offer him an ounce of affection. Eris had made it just down the hall when he heard Arina call his name.

Her fingers caught his own, dropped when she realized she was touching him. She hesitated, and then surged up on her tiptoes and pressed her lips to his cheek.

“This was…thank you.”

Eris couldn’t resist cupping her cheek in his hand. “I would do far more, if you asked.”

“This is enough, “she whispered.

But it wasn’t.

And it never would be.

#eris vanserra #eris vanserra and the no good horrible day #maybe there was a better way to obtain a wife??#no no you're right this was the best way to go about it #shes just unreasonable

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carnelianwings · 7 years ago

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oh my gosh you like idolish7 i had no idea!!!

Funny story there (I swear, those of you who know the story of how I fell into Zestiria and soymilk will find some similarities here):

I had heard about IDOLiSH7 when I saw that Tanemura Arina was doing the character designs for the game. And I didn’t think much of it, since it was just “she did the character designs”, even though she’s one of my favorite mangaka. (Kamikaze Kaitou Jeanne and Full Moon wo Sagashite are probably my top favorites of her titles for both story and artwork.) But I was like, “Eh, it’s probably just another idol game I’ll just continue to go through my Tales game backlog.”

Fast forward to . . . checks logins in i7 27 days ago, after I’ve finished Xillia in the intervening years (this is important) and @koko-ai comes by and basically says “Oh hey, there’s this new thing I like, you should check it out” and I make the mistake of Googling the voice cast before starting. So of course, the first thing I see is Yonaga Tsubasa as Mitsuki. And then I actually watched a few episodes of the anime, and next thing I know I’m downloading the app, because damn it, the songs are catchy and the boys are cute and the story is alternating between making me laugh with the boys and then crying with them even worse than a Tales game does. XD Also, little known fact - I do love my rhythm games having spent a lot of my childhood with music (mostly piano, with some violin and choir, and a sprinkling of french horn) so I pretty much took to i7 like a fish to water.

I think the only surprising thing here is that the Top Bias crown didn’t go to Yuki, Sougo, or Tenn (which my past favorites would indicate), but that Mitsuki’s still hanging onto it. And he . . . hasn’t let go yet. In fact I think he might have somehow managed to take the overall Best Boy Crown from Mikleo and I don’t even know how that’s happened. XD All I know is that I decided to whale on the Wish Voyage rerun banner for him, have made entire teams of him (because I somehow have the most cards for him, bless you i7 RNGesus, you have made me so happy) and now I’m up to let’s make a cute itabag for him too.

So in short, anon, I didn’t realize I like i7 either. Until . . . 27 days ago. I think this marks a faster fall for a bias than any other character though. XD

Also, to Bamco: IDOLiSH7/(Asteria and/or Rays) collab when? I need more Jude-and-Mitsuki costume swaps. Make it Asteria and you’ll get me opening my wallet for both games.

#soymilkheaven answers an ask #i don't even know what happened #all i know is one minute i'm watching this idol anime #next minute i'm downloading the app #and immediately after that i'm opening my wallet and giving bamco more money #Anonymous

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putschki1969 · 8 years ago

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2017/08/27 Blog post by Hikaru 『外出記録』

『Report of my outings』 How is the weather today ...? What about the temperature ...? I choose my clothes after doing research on these things. Standing in the hallway, checking my outfit a final time, perfect! Thinking this I am about to head outside when suddenly I realise... “I am wearing the wrong shoes!!” and I have to head back inside. This is Hikaru. [Thanks to a friendly fan who made me realise that today’s riddle was actually very obvious. I don’t know why I didn’t see it. “ki-kyou-today”, “ro-rouka-hallway”, “ku-kutsu-shoes” => kiroku=report] It is hard to take care of your body with the heat outside and the indoor air-conditioning. How is everyone doing today?

We recently started preparations and rehearsals for our upcoming fan club events. We want everyone to thoroughly enjoy these events, on the one hand we want you to get typical Kalafina vibes but on the other hand, we want those events to be something special, something you wouldn’t expect, something you do not usually do ... after all, it’s a fan club event ... so let’s create something like that! The three of us will do everything we possibly can to create special moments together with all of you ♪ Everyone who is taking part, please look forward to it ... (*´꒳`*)! I am sure you already saw the info that it would make us very happy if you honoured the dresscode and came to our talk event wearing a monochrome (black&white) outfit, we’ll be happy if you come in a plain white t-shirt and black pants (^-^) but of course if you come wearing something fancy like a special dress or dress-shirt, that would make us happy as well (^ - ^) ♪ We’d like you to enjoy the dresscode as much as you can. Well, as for the title of this post “Report of my outings”… Today I shall tell you about my adventures in the outside world while being all cosy indoors *laughs* One of my goals for this year is to watch many movies at the cinema. I couldn’t go last month... so this time was my first time in a long while! I got to watch 「Despicable Me 3」! Just a little while ago 「Despicable Me 2」 was broadcast on TV and it really caught my interest. The main protagonist of the 「Despicable Me」 series is Gru. On the poster, he is the one on the left. In the dubbed version he is voiced by comedian Shofukutei Tsurube *laughs*. Gru used to be a thieving and unpleasant character, he was a villain that troubled many people and hated cute kids with a passion, now he has retired from that life and he is struggling to be a good foster father to three sisters! In this film, Gru teams up with his long lost twin brother Dru (the one on the right side of the poster) in order to defeat a new big villain, will Gru return to his felonious life…? That’s pretty much the summary of the film. And then we have those yellow little creatures in the middle of the poster ... Minions!! There are many more minions than the little one you see here! They are Gru’s underlings and they are super lively and cheerful! However, they are very clumsy. Also, even though they understand what we are saying, they speak in their own Minion language. These little things are super adorable, they always make me smile ♪ The interactions between Gru and all the supporting characters is very exciting and suspenseful. Watching this film feels like a rollercoaster ride, it’s a lot of fun and you feel so many emotions all at once *laughs* Also, I went to a 「Fate/Apocrypha」 collab café. The TV anime airs right before 「Katsugeki! Touken Ranbu」 for which Kalafina’s new song 『Hyakka Ryouran』 is used as ending theme (last week I was crying in outrage because of the Date clan, this week I was sobbing...). Since Kalafina have always had a strong connection to the 「Fate Series」, this show was of course very high up on “Hikaru’s watch list” for this anime season. I am a huge fan of Fran, Berserker of “Black (*´꒳`*) At the register, they offered us free rubber bands…So nice!! Thanks for the kindness! I have already used it! ※ I rolled up the pretty luncheon mat we got and bound it together with the rubber band to bring it home with me unscathed! Then, I went to an exhibition for the 2ND ANNIVERSARY of 「IDOLiSH7」, a while back I mentioned it on the blog, it’s a mobile game app, manga artist Tanemura Arina-sensei does the character designs for it (the coloured autograph cards were also done by Tanemura-sensei ♪) Such an amazing exhibition with seven different rooms each of which focuses on a particular concept ♪ There is a room where the characters' private items and costumes are displayed, there is a room where you can see plenty of treasures ... I was having a hard time trying to memorise every little detail in the rooms where photographs weren’t permitted. *laughs* In the last room, the characters had prepared a special message for their passionate fans. The fans were cheering loudly...! The girl next to me was so excited, she actually started crying a little ... Once again I thought it was amazing to see a work like this being able to affect people that much. During these moments we received a lot of love from our idols (^ - ^) When you see the work someone created with the utmost effort affect other people this much, when your own heart is moved by it, you wanna give your all, you wanna do your very best as well. That’s why I feel that people want to immserse themselves in movies, books, mangas, anime and games (*´꒳`*) Well, until next time. ♪ Hikaru ♪

#kalafina #blog post #LINE translations #hikaru #august 2017 #ugh #this took so long #was procrastinating >_<

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ruleandruinrpg · 8 years ago

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ARISHA KOVROV

TWENTY-FIVE ❈ HUMAN THE ROYAL COURT | ADVISOR

* This character is trans and uses she/her pronouns.

There was nothing but silence when she was born. Nothing but the odd silence of a room full of people holding their breath as they waited for a young babe to open her eyes. When she did, one could not imagine the sighs of relief or the tears that flowed from her anxious parent’s eyes -- yet it was quickly choked by the confusion that followed in her silence. With their mouths agape and their eyes wide with apprehension, they had thought that there might be something terribly wrong with her. In what way, they did not know -- perhaps she lacked the Saints blessing, perhaps she bore the Kovrov’s curse. Many of their newborns had been cursed before, so why should this one be any different? Oh, but she was so different. She did not cry out, nor did she wail as babies often do, choosing instead to allow her eyes to roam the room. Never had the people felt so scrutinized under the analytical gaze of a babe who had been born not but two minutes ago. Even then it seemed as if she knew this was to be her legacy: leaving her people wanting and waiting -- breathless and bowing to her without quite knowing why. Never had the Kovrov household been so proud, for they knew that prodigy had risen in their midst. It was there in her gaze, in her breath, in the very curl of her lips as she finally blessed them with a wail that sounded almost, almost like a mockery of laughter. Never had the Kovrov household fallen in love with the sound of ruination so quickly.

The love affair began with the tenacity she exhibited in her private classes. Her tutors were left speechless in the face of her uninhibited shrewdness, were left in tears at her ability to strip them to their most depraved of states, laying barren their sins with little chance for reconciliation or repentance. One tutor, in particular, had begged her for mercy -- kneeling with hands clasped as if they were at the altar of a Saint. She had laughed outright, the sound as pure as crystal meeting crystal, as resounding as a tolling of bells. But Saints are known for their virtue, their forgiveness, their righteousness. The little Kovrov girl had none, for such virtues were nothing more than plagues that besought all people, that made them as weak as they were fallible. From a young age all she wished to do was transcend those who believed they were above her -- wretched, daft creatures that they were. They were ignorant in their misconceptions, damning themselves with their self-imposed ignorance. Men who believed that she wanted nothing more than to be courted, wooed, and wed. Woman who believed that she was competition, something to be sneered at and gossiped about. People who saw her as nothing more than a slip of a girl whose words were knives and whose gaze could rival the snow-topped mountains that the druskelle dwell in. They saw what they wanted to -- blinding themselves more effectively than if the Darkling himself had taken their sight -- and in that she would orchestrate, time and time again, their demise.

It began with her mentor, a courtier who was held in high esteem by all. Her father had arranged their partnership, in the false hope that it would bloom into something more. In the whispers that carried around the court, they had expected much the same too. For, what else was to be expected when a bright eyed woman, whose smile could warm the loftiest peaks if she so wished, took company with one of the most debonair bachelors of the high society? But what utter misfortune befell the woman -- the most untimely of deaths, the most undeserving and wretched of fates. Little did they know that it had been she who had advised him to take a skiff into the Unsea and bring the king, his beloved son, to bring him the treasure that the ports often lavished in. For me, she had whispered in his ear with a batting of her lashes, for me. Upon those two words, his death was orchestrated and upon those two words had her ascension been promised. The simpering sympathy and heartfelt reverence that accompanied her in the wake of her “beloved’s” death carried her into the arms of the queen. Little did the ditz of a woman know that within the warmth of her arms she held a snake who was all too ready to shed its skin if it meant she could stand closer to the throne.

The queen was more than willing to tend to the nonexistent wounds that the Kovrov woman pretended to weep over. With the charity that the queen would give, Arisha had no problem asking for a little bit more. Then the day came that the queen begged the other woman to put her wits to use, to be the sound mind that would whisper in her husband’s ear. In the king’s ear. So, upon a silver platter, she was given the chance to stand behind the throne, her words carrying the weight of lives and lives lost upon each syllable. They all see her as nothing more than a voice as meaningless as a ghosts -- an echo of opinion, meant to placate the king’s ego. The people of Ravka lay themselves at the foot of the throne and look up to the king, but they do not note the hands that hold the crown and place it upon his brow. They do not know the woman that decides their fate. But someday soon, they will know that she is their beginning and their end. She is their sovereign and their lord. Too long has Ravka turned a blind eye to the ghost whose fingers linger on the throne, whose words could break nations and put an end to dynastic lines. All hail the king, for the queen shall soon take his bloodied throne.

CONNECTIONS

ADRIK VAHKROV: He is the knight upon a chessboard -- an invaluable piece that is meant to serve those who are superior to him. Being the naive man that he is, he believes that she, like him, is another piece on the board. A piece only meant to be moved by those above them. But he does not see that she is not content with being a knight, a pawn, nor a bishop. Arisha is content only when she is the player of the game, a position that the likes of he and his kind -- the unnatural ilk he keeps company with -- shall never know. However, she is as shrewd as she is contemptuous, which is why only she knows the valuable of having a knight in her pocket. The Darkling thinks himself untouchable, but she knows the value of being underestimated. It is only a matter of time before the only contender left for the throne is the one who stands behind it.

ARINA ZAHKAROV: There are those who might mistake her for a Grisha lover, what with how much time she spends watching them, learning their crafts and trades. Her fascination with a singular Grisha, however, is unparalleled. How she longs to make this red-haired vixen her pet, to make her construct and disassemble people the way she does with acids and iodine. The dialogue that often occurs between the two women is almost as fascinating as the relationship itself -- what with Arisha’s biting wit and Arina’s quiet, yet cutting retorts. They are almost fun in a way that chatting with other courtiers rarely is. It is not to say that Arisha considers her an equal, for no Grisha could ever be in her eyes. Yet there is something to be valued in whatever relationship they may have, and it is note likely to be one that Arisha will let go of any time soon.

DARYA VORONOV: She knows that the other woman watches her -- and she suspects that she knows why. Jealousy, likely. Perhaps even suspicion for reasons that Darya herself is not likely to understand. It is with the same suspicion that a newborn bird greets the open maw of a snake, such an avian is wary, yes, but what good does it do when the snake already has you swallowed whole? Arisha does not pay her much mind, but is ever watchful of the way that Darya seems to redden whenever she bends to murmur into Anton’s ear. She wonders what might happen when Darya is forced to call her queen as she murmurs much more lewd things into her future husband’s ear. But, again, what is a poor simpleton bird to do when staring into the eyes of a snake with its jaws wide open?

ARISHA IS PORTRAYED BY SHANINA SHAIK & IS OPEN.

#lsrpg #literate rp #bio rp #new rp #fantasy rpg #open #openf #f #a #aristocracy #arisha #arishabio

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