#Apologies I might delete this later I just wanted to ramble

[nonbinaryeye]

Me: *describes certain ship dynamics*

Random person reblogging my post: "Actually I think that exact opposite of what you just said is better" :)

...okay, maybe make your own post about it then? Or are you hoping I will argue with you? Or realise my mistake and admit superiority of your take over mine or what...?

[chiricat]

souyuri (again)

[kate-m-art]

Gosh it's late, I shouldn't be up and might change my mind in the morning but brain just won't let it go tonight sjdjfk

I just,, I've been going back and forth about sharing these cause on the one hand I'm very emotional about them right now and happy with how the sketches turned out but on the other ajsjfk I'm Very Emotional About Them right now and harder to put stuff out I'm attached to and feel a little self conscious sharing anything heavy but sjdjkf for now I guess

Putting below the cut because,, well, dealing with grief (and also partial nudity I guess)

--------------

First set I was just rambling about it to Arin a lot but I don't know, haircuts have been getting me emotional this week. Theres a few scenarios in our different stories w emotional or significant haircuts, but Maggie's has been on my mind a lot.

Any pics I've shared with modern au Link and Maggie's family you'd see 5 kids, but they actually had 6. Their second oldest son Aster's twin (think we decided her name was Autumn, before Autumn Link was ever a thing) passed away at only a few days old. The loss was awful for both of them, even harder to navigate while still having a toddler and newborn to take care of. Maggie especially struggled with her body still trying to recover from twins. She'd usually be the one between them both to be able to stay hopeful but,, I kinda think she already had a tendency towards PPD and following months really were some of the darkest moments of the lady's life. Grateful that Link was right there for her the whole time.

And yeah, at the point she's just trying to survive, her princess-length hair isn't manageable anymore. Link's been something of a hobby stylist since his teen years, so he helps her with it. Hurts him too though, not because she isn't beautiful in his eyes, he just knows how much it used to mean to her. For as long as they've known eachother, she wouldn't let him dye or cut it and always took extra special care to keep it healthy and pretty.

It took a long time, and the pain never goes away but the two did manage to find peace eventually and keep going (bigger age gap between Aster and Ivy than any of the other kids though.)

---------------

And I guess haircuts got me thinking about visible changes and lots of feelings about these two aging together. Link doesn't always look like a rockstar, chronic illness leaves him pretty weak and frail at times. And then Maggie, I mean the lady had 6 kids, she doesn't keep the same petite pixie figure she had when they met- softer, stretchmarks and scars but- I mean just get really emotional I guess about how none of it is a turnoff for either of them. Just love each other even more deeply as time goes on. Knowing the story and sacrifice their partner's gone through for every "blemish" just makes them find each other even more beautiful then when they met

[ray-elgatodormido]

My complicated relationship with steamy stuff… Featuring poorly drawn me.

Here’s a story from my first year in high school. I was like 11-12, bear in mind that my province’s education system is unique, and I chose a special class that taught us about different civilizations. It was really cool, went to an expo and all when we learned about ancient Egypt. Precisely during the ancient Egypt subject, we ended up watching a movie about the mythology and stuff. I really don’t remember much about the movie, barely remember the plot, something about a heir to the throne wanting to kill his evil uncle and lost his eyes or whatever? What I do remember was a scene between the BBEG and his wife(?) that got a little steamy. Okay pretty steamy, not super explicit tho. I just stared wide eyed processing the information and then turned around until it was over. After class I was ranting about it not so subtly about it (being 12 n all) and I was just rather uncomfortable for a while. Then this little shit… I mean classmate (to be fair I too was a little shit) well this classmate who probably got tired of my ramblings sorta went: “Shut up! You’ll be doing that at one point too!” And I was like:

My brain had a windows restart moment. So yeah looking back that was probably the moment I realized I was some flavour of Aro/Ace. Chalked it up to my age at the time but considering my demeanour for the past couple of years, yeah…

A slightly Dirty minded Aro/Ace spec with an unhinged sense of humour. But Aro/Ace spec nonetheless.

To summarize said demeanour: I do a lot of unhinged horny comedy and try my hand at steamy pieces because it’s fun and sure I get the wild imagination here and there but I never put myself in the mix, because I get hella uncomfortable with the mere thought of it.

So yeah. Uh… Yes

[nativegirltapes]

dunno if you want to move on from the angel x drew break up storyline, but this is in my mind, so feel free to ignore anyways lolol... do you think drew or angel would've texted each other during the break up, or pure no contact? plus, do you think any of them would ever go public with the drama (like that madeline girl with cc and ice spice), cuz i lowkey feel like odessa would begin posting some sneaky mean things... maybe it's just my inner hater speaking, sorry. luv ur writing!!

no girl i am always down to talk about literally anything, moving on is not in my vocabulary 😇

i don’t think there would be much contact, esp from angel’s side because she’s so stubborn and she can’t think of anything she wants to say that isn’t mean or hurtful. if she were to message drew during the break up it wouldn’t be productive, it would just be rambling and mean jabs at odessa and drew himself here and there.

but i feel like drew would occasionally call, sometimes angel answers and sometimes she doesn’t. he just wants to make sure she’s okay, and that she’s still taking care of herself. & i feel like there’s that awkwardness of drew not fully apologizing for his actions/what he said through the phone, that they both chose to ignore because they don’t want to have the tough conversation that maybe an actual breakup is what’s best for right now. they’re both so attached to each other.

& in terms of them bringing the drama to the public, i don’t think drew would at all. that’s a given though obviously, his old ass doesn’t even know how to DM. but i feel like angel might manically post story times about the drew and odessa drama on her tiktok without name dropping. but later delete them after feeling stupid…..

[desire-turns-to-ashes]

Oh my, my, my!!!!!! Hi! I was terrified at the possibility that you might not be you? I'm so happy you read and replied to my message, thank you for not finding it annoying. I really wanted to talk to you, but my shyness wouldn't let me!!! Let’s be brave together!!! 😊Did I make you blush!?☺️ A thousand apologies, I just wanted to express my pure sincerity to you.❤️

I have so many questions to ask, but you don't need to answer if you don't want to, okay? I have two in mind right now, and I hope you don't mind. The first one is: will Edwin ever meet Thomas' father at some point? And the second is: would Thomas do anything for Edwin?

These are the questions I have at the moment. Thank you again for reading and replying, and you don’t need to delete the post. I wouldn’t mind, but if you want to, that’s okay. I’m looking forward to more about them soon! Please don’t feel pressured! The anticipation is so strong! You deserve all the praise for this beautiful work of art!

Hugs to you 💕

Omg I absolutely don’t find it annoying!! You’re my first ask so it was super exciting 😂 you’re very sweet!! Consider myself appreciated 😂💛💛

Ask away!! Omg I LOVE talking about my fic!! I have no one to talk to about it so any questions you have I am more than happy to answer!! 😂

Also putting this under “read more” because it got a little long!! Sorry for rambling 🙈

So to answer your questions, at the moment I don’t have any plans for Desire to make an appearance, sorry to disappoint. But if they did meet Edwin though I feel like Desire would love Edwin’s bitchy personality but ultimately find him a little too vanilla for their son. (But honestly, Thomas needs mellowing out a bit).

I also don’t think Desire has been too involved in Thomas’ life at all, so a meeting between them and Edwin isn’t particularly urgent. Thomas has also constantly been trying to make them proud but it never works out for him and he usually just makes it worse or they just don’t care about his actions… Thomas just craves attention! But now that Edwin’s in his life he’s finally getting all the attention he’s desperately been looking for!! ☺️

Interesting that you’ve asked about Thomas doing “anything” for Edwin! Because this is a conversation that will appear in a later chapter and it’ll have a pretty important impact on the direction of the story and their relationship 😈 but that’s all I’ll say 😂😂 I’m mostly heading towards Thomas being absolutely smitten with this boy so he will eventually do anything for Edwin anyway! Even if he doesn’t realise he would straight away 😂😂

Anyway, thank you so much again for your lovely ask!! You can tell I don’t talk much about this story with people because I have LOADS to say 😂😂 Since replying to your last ask as well I’ve been considering posting some bonus information on here, will try and use the tag “my fic” if I do… no promises but keep an eye out in case I add anything in future because I’ve got a lot of ideas that never made it into the actual story that I really want to share 🥰🥰

Thank you so much again for such sweet words!! I hope you have the best week ever!! 💛💛

[jackerscracker]

Howdy to the people who are actually reading this!!!

I use he/him pronouns plus a few neopronouns

I have a typing quirk where I replace f with ph for words that start with f (not used in intro posts for readability reasons)

I currently take requests! Just put an ask in my inbox that’s simple and related to the fandoms mentioned on this blog or an animal of sorts! Please don’t dm me a request that will make me uncomfortable

I am a very nervous person so if I don’t respond to a message you send me it’s 99/100 times not your fault. Talking to people just stresses me out a lot

I’m a fictionkin/copinglink, I haven’t quite figured out which but something in that category

My art style can be very inconsistent at times and is out of my control so I apologize in advance if you’re disappointed with a request

I have a disability that can get in the way of deadlines and requests

If we are mutuals I don’t mind if you ask for discord or roblox user in dms answer might depend tho :3

My other blogs:

@scythedaily (daily scythe doodles)

@jackers-reblogs (reblogs only)

@brokerling-adventures (pictures of my broker plushy)

@smiling-god-in-a-suit (Zazriel oc askblog)

DNI: basic dni, vizipop supporters, zionists, terfs, proshipers

If you’re under 13 please do not follow me I feel uncomfortable with anyone younger than that interacting with me

If you don’t like me or how I run things on my blog, remember the block button exists for a reason. No reason to cause problems and hate in my inbox, it will be deleted

List of tags I use:

Jacks’s thoughts (random text post. Yes it’s grammatically incorrect on purpose)

Jacks serioused once (this is important not a joke)

Jacks lore drop (information about me)

Jacks speaks (inbox answers)

Jacks drafts (posts from draft box or random thing I found in it)

Jacks screams (me rambling about something)

Jacks read list (things I want to read)

Jacks art (art tag)

Jacks life (things from my day)

Jacks favs (posts I rlly like)

Jacks quick pull (info I might need later)

Jacks harassing blogs (a reblog of an ask I sent a blog or responding to one. Not on the reblog blog for easier organization)

Jacks songs (music I’ve made)

Some of these are only here for archived use for myself and are no longer in-use

Links:

https://bsky.app/profile/jackerscrackers.bsky.social

https://en.pronouns.page/@JackersCrackers

https://pronouns.cc/@Jackerscrackers

https://jackscoolzone.straw.page/

Main persona:

[backjustforberena]

https://www.tumblr.com/backjustforberena/756740655261302784/things-that-make-me-think-during-the-2x4-scene?source=share

I really appreciate your analysis.

Additionally, I can point out that, unlike in the books, Alyn knows Corlys is his father in the series, which significantly changes his dynamic with Rhaenys. He likely grew up concealing his identity, aware that his father’s wife is a dragonrider. He might have believed that the only reason nothing happened to him (i.e., no one demanded his and his brother's heads) was because no one knew, especially Rhaenys. However, he later discovers that she not only knows about Corlys cheating on her but she also knows the identity of the result of this affair. And yet, Rhaenys is remarkably polite in her approach. She even acknowledges Alyn's merit in saving Corlys’s life. This must be disorienting for Alyn, who likely grew up fearing that Rhaenys could be a threat. How many noblewomen, especially princesses, would treat their husband's illegitimate child so generously if they met him?

And in general I feel great sadness for Rhaenys: a mother whose children have died, who had to mourn alone, and likely couldn't grieve as she wanted because she had to remain steadfast and strong while ruling Driftmark. Once she can let her guard down because her husband returns, she finds herself thrust into a war, with a grandson killed and the fear of losing someone else dear to her—and we know from the deleted scene with Baela that she says she can't bear another loss. On the other hand, an old wound reopens, possibly in an even more painful way, because knowing that your husband has a child with another woman, when your own children have died, must be even worse.

(thank you for reading this and i apologize for my english ❤️)

Thank you! That's love to hear. I like rambling about little scenes and line readings so to hear people read them is always heartwarming.

I really like the characterisation of Alyn and Addam. There are, obviously, huge differences from the book but I can see why they are done and I am in agreement with them. Some of them are just confirming things (like confirming - and having no doubt - that these are Corlys's sons and that he knows and that they know) but others are larger leaps and changes to canon (like ages and making Alyn a sailor and having him save Corlys's life). It creates a richer framework to then work from.

Alyn makes sense to me. It makes sense that he is the way he is and responds the way he does to both Corlys, and Rhaenys, and his brother. So, I've really enjoyed that and watching that.

He absolutely grew up concealing his identity; we've seen him shaving his head to get rid of his white hair so that no one can identify him through that. That's likely a rigid part of his routine - a physical act of denying his blood day after day. And whether that's because of risk, because of his own feelings, because of rumour or any idea of being grasping or showing off or nepotism, I don't know. Either way, it's pulling away from any scenario in which people could say he was Corlys's son or something similar.

And then we have Rhaenys's role in all of this. Everyone would know Rhaenys's reputation. Driftmark is where she rules. And she rules it without Corlys for a chunks at a time: she's not an unfamiliar sight at the docks, I think we can assume that much, from seeing her in that environment, and the insinuation of repeated behaviour like talking to captains or bringing Corlys lunch. She is a dragonrider, she is fearsome, she was almost Queen. That's got to come with something of a mythos too. You can imagine Alyn ducking away, keeping his distance. Something that gets harder as he climbs through the ranks and becomes part of the Fleet and into Corlys's orbit, resulting in this confrontation at the docks.

I think he doesn't know what to make of her and he is scared of her or what the introduction could lead to. I'm convinced she's not what he was expecting. I think she represents all of his insecurities as much as he represents some of hers. I don't know if he'd really identify her as generous. Or even polite. The interaction isn't that long and for half of it, there's no idea that Alyn knows that Rhaenys knows. She doesn't "acknowledge Alyn's merit" to him, only the facts: "I’m given to understand my lord husband owes you his life." - but, saying all of that, of course, it's hardly hell and fire and fury and a woman scorned. She isn't unkind.

[...] in general I feel great sadness for Rhaenys

Oh, gosh, I don't! I mean, I do. For all the reasons you say and all the heartache and heartbreaks and tragedies that plagued her life. My heart hurts for her. But I don't look at her and see someone to be sad about. To pity or to victimise or feel sorrow about. My first reaction is to just admire her. Because she never let any of that stuff define her.

She did exactly what she wanted to do and she made her choices and she made them without pressure from anyone or by force or out of desperation. Even if the choice came from a situation beyond her control or due to events not going how she would have wished, she carved out a path for herself and she owned it. No one forced her hand. If it brought her sadness then it brought her sadness but it was hers to control and hers to carry. She never faltered or stumbled. She just got on with it. And I find that sort of grace and self-ownership extraordinary.

This is a woman who has gone through loss after loss and it didn't break her. She's had things taken from her, had people let her down, had judgement and harshness and her hands tied and she's still out there, getting on with things, and she's not turned malicious or bloodthirsty or volatile. She's had moments of bitterness, and certainly moments of cynicism, but she's not been turned sour: she still carried hope. There's so much honour and loyalty and love for her to give. And that is there right until the end. She's never lost herself or been desperate or been anything but formidable.

She was who she wanted to be, rather than what others might have made her. And she takes those fears and losses and they propel her, rather than defeat her. She was never a broken woman, a woman scorned, a hysterical woman, a woman easily dismissed or controlled. She was indomitable.

[gladiators-spark]

I know I should've made this earlier but like, idk. anyway, welcome to my blog! :D

I just listed some things about my blog that I want others to know, along with some stuff 'bout myself lol (might update later in the future)

__________________________________________

★ as stated in my description, I'm an artist and a writer! however, I'm not very experienced in either fields so I apologize if it's not very good, but I'm learning as much as I can!

★ I don't take NSFW requests. I'm not very interested in that type of subject, so please don't send me anything similar to that. if you do send that, it'll just be deleted.

★ I mostly post (and reblog) transformers, and I'm still fairly new to the concept of drawing and writing them so expect my content to be a bit off-putting in a sense lol

★ I'll say it now; Bumblebee is my all time favorite. so, expect most of my content to mainly surround him as he's the main reason I got into transformers in the first place lmfao. and I know he's overrated in terms of favorite characters in the franchise and that's cool, we all have our preferences and opinions

★ you can call me anything you'd like! as long as it is nothing rude or vulgar of sorts or similar.

★ if you'd like, you can reach out to me via my DMs or request inbox if you ever want to talk!

★ know that I may not be very active here as I have personal matters I'm involved with

★ I don't mind any pronouns used for me but I'd prefer she/her/hers just to keep it simple :)

★ I also post random shit here besides transformers lmao

★ I ramble in the tags of my posts, a lot

★ in hindsight I should have put this here earlier but I always forgot, so here’s the tags I put under my posts before and after April 1st

-complete art; sparked art

-sketches/traditional; scratched art

-frames of art/wips; progressive art

-colored in sketches; mended art

-random shit I say; prattles

[thisgoldendream]

This will be a difficult post. I never was a “big” blog by any means, and following my hiatus for nearly two years, the number of people who will see this is limited. My blog was highly niche after all. I also never wanted pity or to stir the pot. And I’ve always been scared of what kind of attention it’d draw.

But I feel this might be… necessary catharsis. There was a main reason, and some others I decided to do this.  I need to say why.

Apologies in advance for incoherence, and just how stupid it sounds... I do not profess myself a writer nor the best with words. It will be rambling. But I’ll try to explain the best I can because I finally need to.

I’ve had drafts about a particular vile situation sitting by that I hesitated to say anything on, since I’ve found keeping silent and pretending everything is okay and remaining unperturbed is what is typically the best course of action when dealing with trolls. And I’d rather settle things privately. Which I tried. Several times to no avail. But … silence only benefits abusers.

The primary reason is a situation that has been, mindbogglingly, having gone on for six years. All identifying information will be redacted. Many of the blogs do not exist anymore. I’ve also archived quite a bit so if this individual does cause me more strife, I will no longer have any mercy.

Many years ago there was an acquaintance—all they deserve to be called--I encountered on this site who’d message me. They’d be active on tumblr all day, and get a lot of anons flooding the dash, and once I saw them getting harassed by one and defended them. Thing is, after that I started to receive such messages from a mysterious anon and they’d complain about getting them on discord -right after- I’d get the message so it was obvious they were the perpetrator. Easy solution was to block the anon. (Those messages...somehow led to some other individual dogpiling me, but I’ll focus on the primary can of worms). Their dms were… odd and sent a lot of unsolicited fics and bragging about real life milestones that they’d end up contradicting months later. I and others who were exposed to it chalked it up to them being harmless and maybe lonely. Some of it was a bit amusing.

Eventually their many lies and penchant for drama led them to be banned from a discord and I blocked them on this site. One would hope most people take a hint at that and leave well enough alone and move on.

Not this person. Despite seemingly moving onto other things, they… keep coming back. With sock puppet after sock puppet after sock puppet.

In 2018 I noticed a blog re-blogging one of my gifs with a name that sounded vaguely familiar; it was one of this person’s many, many RP blogs. A musical-focused one. This was after I had translated Toma’s route in Library Cross and they were doing their typical talk to themselves on anon thing—having apparently watched my translation they acted like they played it, and apparently didn’t get the actual gist of what happened in the route or what the game was even like, which frustrated me. I messaged them correcting them and asked them to stop and they deleted the post and left a guilt trip message about “going through a hard time,” a pattern they always continue with when caught. To illicit pity and make the victim feel bad for them.

But what really sickened me was an “OC” of theirs I saw, using the same name I go by—Erika--that looked horrifically just like the picture I once foolishly posted in a discord they had been in, and well. It made me sick. I don’t know what to call it except pseudo skin walking and obscenely creepy.

Needless to say it greatly demotivated me from posting translations, scans, and other such things I really enjoyed sharing.

Now I confided in only two people who knew full extent of what this person’s about. But this was beyond that. I blocked just about any adjacent account of theirs I could find – discovering just how many sock puppets and fake identities they had – their disturbing preoccupation with pregnancy often a tell and hoped that’d be the end of it after privately calling them out.

For my own peace of mind I started using analytics on my blog to try to identify when this particular person and this person alone might show up; observe a pattern. I once again naively thought they’d get the hint and that all the blocks would work. In time, I pretty much narrowed down who they were. And they weren’t from the country they say they’re from, surprise to no one.

A good opportunity came about in 2020 when I was encouraged to join an otome translation group … something I’d thought about but was too timid to do, and just worried because of the previous treatment and attitudes towards characters I like on here; the more “problematic” ones lol. The rules were to work on the project you were once a week and I could be involved with Otome and enjoy playing Amnesia World alongside while translating lines. It was a win-win in a way, even if I wasn’t active on my blog.

In 2021 I saw suspicious IPs once again on my blog… and lo and behold saw some blank blog follow me which I sadly grew dubious of because of that person’s endless sock puppets. I snapped and messaged them to leave me alone once again and they denied it and once again said “they were going through a hard time,” and rambled about how they were “healing,” and said they wouldn’t bother me again.

Natural a lying liar lies, and they came back in the summer as the analytics warned me. I set my blog to login only and hid it from search engines and blocked any blank blogs that tried to follow.

I rarely logged back in on tumblr until fall of 2022, and I saw much to my happiness … some people still were liking some of my old stuff so I thought of keeping it around as a warehouse of sorts or if I ever felt like posting again.

But in early February… the same documented IPs from 2021 were on my page. Again. I blocked a blank blog, set it to private, and the next day a new one followed me again. With a similar title to my own this time? Yeah, I’ve had enough.

I’m not this person’s only victim. They infect and repeatedly act like this in just about every fandom they’ve moved onto. But I only feel comfortable telling my story.

I wised up and have kept many, many receipts and archives beyond what I have here. You’ve hurt a lot of people. And to that individual, now that I have nothing to lose and you can’t steal my content any more. If you do interact with this, you will be revealing yourself--because I will dump all I have. I was kind enough to not post identifying info but I will not be any longer. None of this is tagged with anything identifying or relevant to fandoms, either. So if you interact or come back, I will no longer have lenience...you deserve none.

My final say on this is, since it’s obvious there’s mental illness involved, I feel it’s imperative I state that I have much empathy for people struggling with mental illness. I have my own turbulent struggles with anxiety and depression. It isn’t fun. There are probably very few who DON’T struggle.

However, I draw the line malignant people who use it as a shield to excuse their harmful actions, then try to manipulate their victims.

In the sincerest way possible, go outside and get actual help.

I’ve gone to therapy to try to overcome my struggles and social anxiety. The most powerful thing I was told that my past of bullying haunted me like a shadow and to go forth with my head held high and be myself. But this affair...sadly taught me some people are out to get you.

Also... to anyone who read this, this is very, very abnormal behavior and not likely to happen to you.

Typing all this, trying to explain it...hurt my brain. I can’t even make sense of it.

---

Beyond… freeing myself from the aforementioned situation, there were other reasons I just don’t feel like continuing anymore.

Fall of 2020 and into 2021 was an incredibly hard time personally for me. I went through three really difficult losses. I haven’t really felt like the same person since. Despite therapy and grief groups...it really doesn’t feel like something you can talk about. Because from my experience, confiding in people about the trauma... reminded them of their own personal struggles. It’s been a very lonely road.

And fandom now… I just feel I don’t belong in it. At least, in the west… since I was young I always found solace in my nerdy hobbies and chiefly viewed it as entertainment. Not something to strive for in reality. When I was a kid, “don’t do what you see on TV” was common sense. “Videogames make people violent” was baseless fear-mongering. Articles in gaming magazines about Christians decrying Pokémon as satanic and churches in the south destroying merch. Ridiculous. But it seems now—especially born from this site, it seems we’ve come full circle. “If you like villains you support it IRL,” this sort of sentiment seems so widespread… and the same meme and meme format posted over, and over again, recycled and reused, from fandom to fandom, same premise. And the energy people put onto things they dislike versus what they actually love is something I’ll never understand.

This platform is very good for hosting all forms of media, much better than twitter for longhand writers and translations. But ...I despise it, how its staff ignores countless abuse reports, lets malefactors do whatever they want, and get away with it. Twitter has its own massive host of problems, but at least the phone number authentication and account lockouts slow it some.

In the past, I loved fandom for transformative works. People creating beautiful arts, writings, and ideas.  The more ideas and diverse, the better. Not the same opinion ...or headcanon spread as fact to the point it’s accepted as canon, over and over again. And when people are afraid to create things for fear of being harassed or having something other than the “popular” fandom opinion, it becomes a stagnant echo chamber.

And although I found translating for the otome group was nice…I noticed from the spreadsheet I was the only one signing in and working on it for over a year when I was on the project. And once the related project ended up being canceled due to localization, I asked what about the one I was working on… and received no reply. From anyone. I gave it two weeks. Nothing. Being ignored like that… stung. I never felt like I was terribly welcome and that confirmed it.

I’m tired. I’ll probably always enjoy otome, but I think from now on… I’ll do it quietly and on my own. Without judgment for liking the “wrong” fictional pixel men. Because that’s what it is. I just find it so...trite. I’m tired of being walked all over, I’m tired of being afraid what to say, and I know every time an empty blog followed being yet another one of that person’s alts was no way to go. That’s on me. I feel guilty for any innocents I blocked in the process suspecting it was that person... but it messed me up.

If there wasn’t a space for what I liked, I wanted to carve out one—but I don’t have that energy anymore. Provide something for other fans if they liked it. share what I love and have fun. Have some camaraderie…I truly enjoyed that. And especially to those I could call friends sand ramble with in dms without fear, gush about, really you’re the MVPS. It was a lot of fun. I will cherish it… but I could not continue. And I never wanted to burden anyone. Because none of this makes any sense to me. Sorry…

I’ve always wanted to lift others up and encourage others. Even if someone likes a character I don’t, or pairing if they’re nice—there must be something to it I can’t see, whatever floats their boat. These things...really shouldn't be a big deal. Let people enjoy what they enjoy. And others who give someone grief for it… and haunt tags, or belittle you for your hobbies aren’t worth your time. It reeks of insecurity. After all, nobody on tumblr dot com or twitter are an “educator” or superior for having an opinion on videogames. And numbers don’t matter; sure the validation can provide a buzz, but at the end of the day, it’s social media. ...What you enjoy that does.

So to end on a positive note… because I don’t want my optimism to die completely.

Find whatever you like and people who like the same thing, and make them your people. May your creativity flow ever freely. Nothing is more powerful than your own interpretation of the canon, than your own experience with it.

To roughly quote one of my favorite games of all times, “as long as you’re not doing anything wrong and nobody is getting hurt, you should just live proudly in the open.”

Edit: The only reason I’m leaving this and my one past blog title up as placeholders is because honestly. Since tumblr does nothing to limit someone from creating endless blogs and dodging blocks/reports/bans, I wouldn’t have put it past them to well, try to get the blog names. This person since then has tried to add me on Discord twice (which I didn’t... give out) in the previous year a month apart. I just want to move on.

[sordideuphemism]

Self-Analysis and the World's Horniest Website

I'm feeling rambly, so apologies in advance for the topics being all over the road, but I wanted to share this on tumblr, the World's Horniest Website™.

A little while ago, I had a conversation with a dear friend about being ADHD & pan & perhaps a little autistic (which I have not bothered to find out for sure), and how it relates to my romantic life. I told her that for me, there is very little to differentiate 'good friendship' and 'romance'. To summarize: "I may SEEM like a flirt, but I'm just very into everyone. BUUUUUT... also I'm always flirting. That's how I intersect with people. I find out what they like, we talk about it, they find out what I like, etc, we get to know each other."

It's like the old line about "joking, unless the answer is yes." I'm... not joking. If I'm into someone I'm into someone. And I'm into nearly everyone. (Just because I'm pan doesn't mean I'm a slut! Yes, I *am* a slut, but that has nothing to do with my being pan!) This doesn't mean I'm promiscuous, and I don't make moves on friends - I've learned that very few folks out there are as 'casual' about physical touch as I am.

(Snuggling is great! Even just draping over each other and occupying each other's space while doing something completely unrelated - reading, homework, watching videos, etc. Too many people equate that with full-on intercourse, so eh.)

She joked with me that these kind of conversations sometimes hit too close to home, and made her feel attacked. I joked back that this was the difference between us. She sees 'attack' where I see 'oooh, a challenger'.

Anyway. Thought I'd share. Felt cute vulnerable, might delete later.

[vodika-vibes]

(I’m not super easy to intimidate, but I’m small, and if a 6 foot+ tall guy took a step in my direction, I’m gonna take a couple steps back as a precaution lol I wouldn’t mind if you tagged me in everything if you want! I don’t want to miss anything! It might take me a little to get to everything else that’s not Shadow Squad, though, just because they’re my favorite and I sometimes have trouble switching from one storyline/topic to another. But yes yes definitely tag me in all things Shadow Squad, please! 🫶 I’ve thought about giving up typing on my phone lol I’d be able to type my replies faster for sure)

["I'm pretty sure that medical beds are made uncomfortable so people will stop getting hurt," Go says with a small smile, "It doesn't work, of course." He gently smooths his hand over your hair, "And my punishment is wholly my fault. I knew that there was a chance that you could get hurt, and I lost my shit anyway. I'm a big guy, love. Me threatening a medic is..." He sighs, "Riff was right for giving me the punishment. I need to find the medic and apologize later."

Go frowns as you start rambling about what-ifs. "Hey now. None of that. Maybe's won't do anything but drive you insane. If you had been anywhere else, you could have been injured far worse. What's that thing the Jedi say, about the will of the Force or whatever? You were where you were meant to be. And yes, you are. But it's cute, so I wasn't going to say anything."]

“The least they could do is get pillows that aren’t completely flat. I feel the mattress under my head. There’s no cushion from this piece of flimsi disguised as a pillow.” I pout. “I guess I can see that… I know I’d be scared to death if you threatened me. But, I’m the lucky one that can say I know you would never. And you’re more of my protector. I feel safe when you’re near.”

I smile for a moment then sigh. “You’re right, but sometimes I just can’t help it. The thoughts just come and don’t want to leave me alone.” A small pink blush creeps into my cheeks and I bring my hands to hide my face. “Do you compliment on purpose just because you can still fluster me?” I give him a teasing, questioning look through my fingers.

-💋 anon

Lol, for now I'll just tag you in Shadow Squad stuff, rather than overwhelming you with my other things. But if you do ever want to read them, I keep my masterlist updated. And I've accidentally deleted answers that I've typed multiple times. I wish there was an undo button on my phone.

"Well, I'm glad you feel safe near me." Go replies with a small smile, "I don't generally want to scare people, after all." He would offer you a better pillow, but he was pretty sure that if he did, it would get thrown out...and he would get thrown out as well.

"What can I say, love. I like seeing you blush." Go says with a wicked grin crossing his face, "You always look so adorable when I make you blush." He pauses, and then his grin grows, "Well, not just adorable, but I'll be nice since you're hurt, and not tell you what's on my mind."

[smashing-cookies-archives]

could you guys actually tag your ship posts with ship tags??

nothing personal but i keep seeing espresso x eclair stuff when searching for fanart of either, and i wont lie im Personally not a fan of it and i dont want to see it

but literally no one tags a single thing of them shipped with a ship tag

as i said Nothing Personal if you ship them but the least you could do is tag ship posts with ship tags (eg. ship names like i dunno espressclair or espresso x eclair, etc etc) not only can people block tags they dont wanna see but Doesn’t It Make It More Convenient And Able To Reach More People If You Tag Ships

if i came off rude at all in this post i apologize lol, but im tired of seeing ships i cant block bc no one is tagging them with ship tags

Also this isn’t just about them, i’d rather people tag ship art with ship tags of any ships, I merely talked about them and used them as an example bc that’s all i’ve been seeing lately

[self-shipyard]

I'm awake and really drowsy so... Mmmm husband time

Gh.iaccio... My wonderful fictional husband... The most handsome man in the world... My sweet ice pop...

Like, no matter what I can't ever get over the fact that I got to marry such a wonderful man, he's filled my heart with so much love and happiness and I want to do nothing but shower him in all of my affection and love

Those lips I want to cover in many sweet kisses, those eyes I want to gaze into like I'm looking into the December night sky, those hands I want to hold and protect in my own, those cheeks I want to caress and pepper in kisses, that voice I want to listen to talk about all of his passions and thoughts

That man I want to see feeling all of the love and happiness in the world

Just-!!

God I love him!! I love him so much I could just sob 😭😭🥺🥺🥺😖💕💕💕

[roseverdict]

hi quick question does a person with any care for their fellow people at all respond to "hey remember that time i blamed you for something and you kept saying you were innocent? yeah i found proof you were innocent so i'm genuinely sorry about that" with a haughty "just another apology you owe me, i suppose" under their breath??? ASKING FOR ME

[chocolatecakecas]

.