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tintinntabuli · 1 year ago

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Green Industry News July 2023

Here’s all the Green Industry News from late Spring.

rbor Masters

Kansas City-based tree care services provider Arbor Masters has merged with Jennings Tree & Lawn Care (soon to be renamed Jennings TLC: An Arbor Masters Company). The merger is Arbor Masters’ most recent expansion following their purchase of Advantage Tree Services, an Arbor Masters Company in Iowa bringing its services to six U.S. states. The merger brings Arbor Masters’ headcount to a total of 168 employees across five states.

United Land Services

United Land Services, headquartered in Jacksonville, FL has acquired Greenway Lawn & Landscape, LLC in Casselberry, FL. Terms of the transaction were not disclosed. Greenway’s executive leadership team, Sasa Popovic and JD Nixon, will continue to provide branch oversight.

Since September 2020, United has completed sixteen add-on acquisitions, grown to over 1,200 employees, and established 20+ branches across several of the fastest growing metropolitan areas in the Southeast. In addition, United has built a robust acquisition pipeline and currently has several acquisitions under letter of intent which would further enhance its presence in the region.

Bob Blandford, founder and CEO of United, said, “United’s acquisition of Greenway is another step in our long-term strategy of building density in attractive geographic markets while strengthening our ability to continue to offer high-quality landscaping services for our customers.”

Tendit Group

Tendit Group, a portfolio company of Osceola Capital, announced the acquisition of Phoenix, AZ based Legends Landscape Management (“Legends”), which significantly expands Tendit Group’s footprint and service offering in Arizona.

Founded in 2002 by Curt Peterson, Legends Landscape Management is a full-service landscape management company that specializes in landscape maintenance, irrigation system management, plant health, tree and weed management. Legend’s customer base includes property management companies, municipalities, homeowner associations, and apartment complexes.

Takeuchi

Takeuchi-US has expanded its North American dealer network with the addition of Ditch Witch® of South Louisiana (DWSLA). This location, near Baton Rouge, now carries the full line of Takeuchi excavators, compact track loaders, and wheel loaders. They will also provide equipment rentals, replacement parts, and serve as authorized Takeuchi equipment repair centers for customers throughout a multi-county area in Southern Louisiana. DWSLA also offers mobile solutions for Takeuchi sales, parts and service with a traveling sales team and equipment technicians.

Central Turf & Irrigation Supply

Central Turf & Irrigation Supply (CTIS) has announced the acquisition of two Greenleaf Turf Solutions (GTS) locations; one in PA and one in DE. The locations will continue to do business under the GTS brand, now as a division of CTIS, to ensure excellent ongoing customer service and business continuity. The two newly acquired locations will provide local Green Industry professionals with valuable resources for their business needs, while also continuing to maintain the important relationships built at the locations before the acquisition.

Triangle Chemical Company/United Turf Alliance

Triangle Chemical Company has recently joined United Turf Alliance as its newest owner. Based in Macon, GA, Triangle Chemical Company has locations in FL, GA, MS, and NC.

Triangle Chemical Company formed its turf & ornamental division in 2011. The division serves customers in the golf, lawn care, landscaping, and athletic facilities markets with eight distribution centers throughout the Southeast. Ownership in UTA will help the company continue to grow its T&O division through partnership with distributors around the country.

Mariani Landscape

Mariani Landscape has announced the acquisition of NJ-based Siciliano Landscape Company. Headquartered in Red Bank, NJ, Siciliano Landscape Company is a third-generation family-owned business long admired for their award winning design, installation and maintenance services. Siciliano is the 12th company to join Mariani’s “family of family companies.” Thirteen companies now comprise Mariani Landscape’s group of companies, offering market-leading landscaping services with local care.

Talbert Manufacturing

Talbert Manufacturing has announced it has been awarded a multiyear Sourcewell cooperative purchasing contract, #092922-TBT. The Sourcewell contract streamlines the procurement process for more than 70,000 government and education agencies as well as nonprofits in the U.S. Talbert customers can use the Sourcewell contract to purchase a wide range of trailers from lowboy lowbed to hydraulic detachable, mechanical detachable, hydraulic tail, sliding axle, tag-a-long, double drop, tilt, detachable, and more.

Customers benefit from Talbert’s Sourcewell contract by saving time normally spent on requests for proposal (RFPs) or invitations for bid (IFBs). This is because Sourcewell satisfies the bidding process by sourcing and qualifying vendors, then offering purchasing agents the ability to procure from ready-to-use, competitively solicited contracts, like Talbert, more efficiently at the best possible price.

KIOTI Tractor

KIOTI Tractor, a division of Daedong-USA, Inc., recently awarded 73 dealers across North America with 5-Paw status. Launched 15 years ago, the 5-Paw Dealer Excellence Program recognizes exemplary KIOTI dealers who provide top-quality buying experiences and premier service to their customers. Of all dealers across North America who achieved 5-Paw status, over 50 qualified as Certified 5-Paw Dealers and 20 qualified as Premier 5-Paw Dealers, which is the program’s highest possible honor.

ASV recently presented three dealers with Dealer of the Year Awards for 2022. Alberta-based Barda Equipment is the Large Market winner. CT-based Butler Equipment is the Medium Market winner, and Duffy’s Sales & Rental out of WI, is the winner of the Small Market category.

Yanmar CE

Yanmar Compact Equipment recognized three 2022 Dealer of the Year Award winners at its 2023 Dealer Meeting. Vermeer Midwest, who serves IL,IN, MI, and MO, received the Large Market award. Tennessee-based Chattanooga Tractor & Equipment was the Medium Market winner, and Hawkins-Graves, out of VA, won the Small Market category.

Jebsen & Jessen Technology – Turf & Irrigation (JJ T&I)

Jebsen & Jessen Group was honored with two prestigious awards at the Toro 2022 Partners in Excellence (PIE) Awards – the ‘Top Performer’ award and the ‘International Aftermarket APAC’ award. The Toro 2022 PIE Awards is an award ceremony that recognizes excellence and outstanding performance and accomplishments by top distributors.

The ‘Top Performer’ award was presented to JJ T&I in recognition of its outstanding performance in the areas of market growth, customer care, and financial health.

Sarina Shafiee, JJ T&I Regional After-Sales Manager, also received the ‘International Aftermarket APAC’ award, which recognizes the company’s and her commitment to performance excellence and after-sales service for its valued customers in the region.

Ewing Irrigation/Ewing Outdoor Supply

Ewing Irrigation & Landscape Supply / Ewing Outdoor Supply continues to grow its presence in TX with its newest location at 34150 US 290 Frontage Road, Hockley, TX 77447.

Ewing Hockley is the company’s 13th location in South Texas and its 41st in the state. It’s also Ewing’s first superstore in the state, featuring both the branch that just opened and a bulk materials yard scheduled to open within the next three months, Central Territory President Sean Wimble said.

Landscape Forms Landscape Forms, designer and manufacturer of high-design LED lighting, site furniture, structure, and accessories has announced an expansion of its 2020 lighting partnership with SESCO Lighting. SESCO Lighting, which is headquartered in the Greater Orlando area, represents Landscape Forms in FL, GA, AL, TN, and MS, and now has added SESCO offices in NC, SC, LA, and AR.An employee-owned business founded over 50 years ago, SESCO Lighting is the country’s largest lighting manufacturers’ representative company, with nearly 400 employees and 24 branch offices and specialty divisions that cover all aspects of a project, including lighting controls, field service, public sector and energy divisions, and distributor solutions.

Weller Brothers

Weller Brothers Landscape Professionals is planning a Des Moines, IA expansion in early Fall 2023. Weller Brothers Landscaping is in its 22nd year of business in the Sioux Falls, SD area and in its 5th year of business in Rochester, MN. In both locations, the company provides residential and commercial landscape design and maintenance services.The Des Moines branch will be managed by Matt and Anna Stadel, who are currently Landscape Production Manager and Landscape Architect, respectively, at the Rochester, MN location. The company will begin scheduling landscape design consultations in the Des Moines area in early August 2023, with plans to expand into lawn maintenance services within the following year.For the previous Green Industry News, see “Spring Has Sprung! Recent Green Industry News” Read More

#landscaping landscaper

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dirty-holy-things · 4 years ago

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Starlight

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x AFAB Reader

Rating: Mature, for adult themes.

Words: 6.0k

Chapters: 1 / 1 (?)

Warnings: Not many, as this story is honestly very soft and sweet. Story does include pregnancy.

Author’s Notes: This is set post TFATWS. This started out as purely self-indulgent, tooth-rotting kind of sweet story that I needed to get out of my head after the finale — and it quickly spiraled into a heap of excessively soft feelings and special moments. It’s in a spot where I might decide to explore this further in the future, but we’ll see. I just want Bucky to have a happy ending and all the wonderful things, okay?

Summary: Neither you or Bucky could’ve imagined a life quite like this, surrounded by your found family and countless days of sunshine. After a Memorial Day weekend trip to Louisiana to visit Sam and Sarah, the two of you finally found that ever-elusive sense of peace — and so you sank into it, building a life and a home and a future together. For all of the pain that came before, the universe now extended a kindness in the form of a perfectly happy ending.

For having grown up in a place as dull and frozen as the northeast, Louisiana was endlessly inviting and enticing — you loved the heat, loved the energy and spirit of those around you, loved living in a place where you could hear the ocean. Proof that something bigger, and more powerful, than anything occupying your world was out there; and here you were, coexisting with it. Yes, you loved your newfound life here — and you owed it all to one James Buchanan Barnes.

He had finally coaxed you out of your Brooklyn apartment one Memorial Day weekend, with an open invitation from Sam and Sarah to stay in the extra bedroom; you had been worried about the imposition, but after Bucky had put Sam on speakerphone one evening to guilt you into the visit, you finally conceded. When you packed your bag for the holiday weekend, you had no idea that you would come to love the small town within a matter of three days; but you had, and from the moment you and Bucky had touched down at JFK, you knew you were ready to go back.

You had eagerly leapt on any invitation that was extended, and one late summer evening while Sam and Bucky played with AJ and Cass in the yard, you found yourself watching them from the open window — you came to the realization that something about this moment just felt right. Like the pieces were finally coming together, after a lifetime of feeling scattered, feeling lost. Sarah picked up on the look in your eye easily, but that came as little surprise. The two of you had gotten to be good friends through the course of your visits, spending many a evening on her porch with a glass of iced tea — or wine — and she had a knack for seeing into people as it was.

She leaned back into the countertop, looking at you with a knowing smile. “You and Bucky seem happy here.”

You were startled out of your reverie, having been lost in the picturesque moment of joy in front of you; Sam was teaching AJ some boxing moves, and Bucky was wrestling with Cass, letting him win as he pinned him into the overgrown grass. Sarah’s comment had been spot on; you were certainly happier here than you had been anywhere else. “Yeah, we are happy here,” you sighed with a smile. “Things feel... right. I don’t have a better word for it, we can blame that on the wine — but yeah, things feel right.”

“Feels like home?”

Ah, yes. That was the word for it.

She leaned back into the countertop, looking at you with a knowing smile. “You and Bucky seem happy here.”

“Feels like home?”

Ah, yes. That was the word for it.

Your apartment in Brooklyn was nice, it was cozy and familiar, and you certainly loved it more now that it was shared with Bucky and Alpine. But when you thought about home — the brownstone wasn’t what came to mind. You thought about Louisiana, you thought about exactly where you were in this moment. You thought of cookouts filled with family, friends, and food; you thought of early morning trips to the small diner for the best biscuits and gravy to grace this earth; you thought of the many late nights spent drunkenly dancing with Bucky on the docks, while the two of you hummed off-key.

Taking a sip of your wine, you turned to look at Sarah. “Yeah, home. That’s the word.”

She nodded, her assessment having been correct. She seemed to think about her next words carefully, pausing before speaking again. “Have you two ever thought about moving here?”

You blinked in surprise to her question. “N-no, or at least, I haven’t — I mean, we have the apartment, and...” you trailed off, realizing that the only thing keeping you tied to the city was the fact that your belongings were there. You laughed, rubbing your hands across your face as the realization hit you. If this felt like home, why not make it home?

“There’s a house going up for sale down the road. You remember the Braxton’s, they were here for the Fourth of July. Her husband passed recently, so her son’s moving her in with his family, and they’re looking to sell the house.”

Your heart rate began to pick up speed as flashes of images ran through your mind — a house with Bucky, a home, one in a place where the two of you felt more at peace than you had ever believed to be possible. You thought of dinners shared in the late evening sun, mornings spent on the docks, Christmases shared with those who you considered as family — without the hassle of plane tickets. You coughed as you cleared your throat, trying to dislodge the nervousness that had settled there. “You think... d’you think that Bucky would want — would want to move?”

Sarah laughed, a bright and boisterous sound filling the kitchen that had always been brimming with love. “That man would move heaven and earth for you, if you asked. I think he’d be more than happy to move some furniture.”

***

Sarah had been right, as per usual. You had approached Bucky about it cautiously, nervously, later than night; but your nervousness proved to be for naught as he grinned at you like a kid on Christmas morning. His blue eyes burned with a sort of fire that set off butterflies in your stomach, and when he said yes, yes, yes — you felt tears prick your eyes as you realized that soon, you would be coming home, but this time, with the intention to stay.

The moving process had been easier than you expected, but of course, moving countless boxes and items of furniture was easy when your boyfriend was a super-soldier with a vibranium arm. Sam had also come along to help load the moving van, and the two of them made short work of clearing out the apartment that you had lived in for the past several years. You felt a twinge of sadness as you closed the door, knowing the memories that the walls held, but you were excited for all of the new memories to be made within the walls of your new home.

You and Bucky had bought the house down the road from Sarah; it was well-loved and meticulously maintained, having been looked after by Mr Braxton for decades. Mrs Braxton was delighted to know that the two of you would be moving in, fondly remembering the time that Bucky had spent an entire winter’s day working with Mr Braxton to repair the hot water heater; and as you signed the documents that officially made the house your home, she only asked you for two things — to keep up her husband’s garden, and to share your banana bread recipe. You agreed to both wholeheartedly and with a laugh; and as you saw Bucky smiling at you from across the room, you knew that this journey was starting off on the right foot.

As you drove up the gravel road to the house that was now called home, you couldn’t help the grin that spread across your face — the water was at your back door, the property was concealed and kept private by trees that looked perfect for climbing, and the wraparound porch offered the promise of countless nights of peace. You killed the engine and looked on at Bucky expectantly; somehow both nervous and excited.

“Y’gonna go inside, doll? Or was your plan to have us live in your car?” His cobalt-blue eyes were bright against the warm dusk of the evening, and a teasing grin worked its way onto his face.

You shrugged nonchalantly. “I figured the Tiguan would be pretty comfortable — the seats lay back —“ Your sarcastic response was quickly cut off by the feeling of Bucky’s lips against yours, soft and sweet and warm, but also holding the same sense of nervousness and trepidation that resided within your chest. Pulling back from him, you stared into those endless blue eyes that held the same depth and complexity of the ocean. “You — are you sure this is what you want?”

His hands came up to cradle your face gently; you felt the warmth of one and the coolness of another, loving the duality of the man seated next to you. “This is exactly what I’ve wanted — before I even knew what I wanted — this was it. It was always this. It was always you.”

A few hot tears rolled across your cheeks as you leaned in to kiss him, but it was only a quick peck as he quickly pulled away, unbuckling his seatbelt and hopping out of your car. He was at the driver’s side door in mere seconds, opening the door as you extricated yourself from the seatbelt. You moved to step out onto the gravel driveway, but before your feet hit the ground, Bucky’s arms had wrapped securely around you as he brought you into his chest; you laughed at the unexpected gesture, wrapping your arms around his neck as you nuzzled your head into his broad shoulders. “What’s all of this about, Mr Barnes?” You asked teasingly.

“Carrying you across the threshold,” he responded nonchalantly, but you noticed the blush creeping across his cheeks. “Bad luck not to.”

You relaxed into his strong grasp, trusting him not to let you fall — you had trusted him through everything, and this moment was no exception. He carried you up the stairs and across the porch before coming to the front door; it was just slightly ajar, as if someone hadn’t pulled it quite hard enough before leaving. But it offered the perfect opportunity for Bucky to nudge it open with his foot, not putting you down until the two of you were standing in the center of the house, looking on at this place that would now be called home. The floor creaked slightly underneath your weight as Bucky placed you down gently, and you couldn’t help but smile as you thought about the impossibility of kids trying to sneak through this old house, and the challenges the aged floorboards would certainly present.

“Welcome home, Bucky.”

“Welcome home, doll.”

***

Your first night in the house had been one full of excitement and passion. The four-bedroom house was admittedly more space than you needed, but the Braxtons had wanted the house to go to someone who was part of the community, rather than risk it being bought up by land developers; and as the two of you explored the house that was now your own, a devilish thought crept up on you.

“Y’know your superstition about carrying me across the threshold?” You asked loudly, as you leaned against the wall of what would soon become the master bedroom.

“Not a superstition,” Bucky called out from the private bathroom, as he opened every drawer and cabinet with curiosity.

“Superstition or not — I know of another one,” you teased. “It’s supposedly only right to christen every room.” You raised your eyebrows at him suggestively, winking as he caught on.

Bucky stepped towards you, quickly closing the gap between your bodies; you felt his arms wrap around you securely as he brought you into him for a desperate, needy kiss. “Well — best not to risk it. Let’s see, we’ve got our bedroom, one, two, three others, the living room, the kitchen, the laundry room, the garage —“

You cut off his rambling with an intense kiss, effectively quieting him as his attentions turned back to you and the rightful christening of your new home.

***

The two of you had been living in the small Louisiana town for almost a year now, and the house felt more and more like home with every day that passed. Your steadily-improving artwork graced the aging walls, Bucky’s socks were frequently found abandoned in the bathroom, and the garage had become the construction hub for the various household projects the two of you had taken on. Bucky’s book collection had grown to fill the built-in bookcases, and you had grown to fit the expansive kitchen you now had access to.

Sarah and her two boys had become the closest thing the two of you had ever known to family, and while Sam was not quite as consistent of a presence, he had gradually slipped into a brotherly role for Bucky. There were countless shared dinners, holidays were spent together, and you were endlessly grateful for the family that you had fumbled your way into. And when Sarah had a date one Friday evening, you and Bucky were more than willing to look after AJ and Cass, both boys being boisterous but incredibly fun and kind-hearted.

It had been an evening of pizza, video games, and nervous questions that couldn’t be asked of parents — and as you and Bucky tucked the exhausted kids into bed, well past Sarah’s set bedtime, the two of you looked on at the sleeping forms with a smile. You pulled the door of the guest bedroom closed softly, while Bucky’s strong arms wrapped around you securely as they pulled your weary form into his. You looked up into radiant blue eyes, blushing at the intensity with which he stared at you.

“That wasn’t too hard,” he commented, slowly guiding your tired bodies towards your bedroom. “Kids, I mean. I feel like we managed pretty well.”

You laughed as you tightened your grip around his narrow waist, feeling his muscles moving beneath your hands as he guided you to the bedroom. “I’m sure there’s more to kids than letting them play Mario Kart until 1AM and feeding them pizza.”

Bucky shrugged as he released you from his grasp, the two of you now securely closed within the privacy of your shared bedroom. “Sure, but you’re... good, with them. You’re good with kids — y’might be too smart for their own good, I don’t think they could ever sneak anything past you, but...”

His words trailed off nervously, and you desperately wanted to know what the end of that sentence might be. Your eyebrows raised in curiosity, hoping he’d finish that thought.

Bucky paused before getting into bed, his boxers hanging low against his well-muscled frame; your mind raced at the sight, heartbeat picking up as you felt heat rush to your cheeks. However, the comfort of bed was calling to you, neither of you used to being up so late anymore as the years had gone on. The two of you were wrapped securely within the comfort of bedsheets before Bucky spoke again, picking up the same thread of conversation that had been cut short just moments ago.

“You’d — well, what I was thinking, is you’d be a good — “

You cut him off with a kiss of sweet intensity, knowing the words on the tip of his tongue; you’d be a good mother. He didn’t need to say the words aloud for their weight and meaning to echo throughout the room. His admission of confidence and trust in you made you glow in a way that you hadn’t felt before — the thought of children had always seemed so far away, so far fetched that you hadn’t stopped and considered it as a possibility. But as you eagerly responded to Bucky’s exploratory, sensuous touch underneath the sheets, you started to wonder if that perceived impossibility may someday transform into a reality.

***

The sun was setting low against the docks, barely clinging to the skyline; and by this point in the evening, both you and Bucky were a few glasses of wine deep. Sam and Sarah had invited you over for dinner, and the quality of steaks that were grilled and the wine that was served indicated a certain level of formality that you hadn’t quite expected; your mind racing, you considered the dinner you would offer in response, not wanting to seem ungrateful for their generosity. Your thoughts of future dinners, however, were put on hold when Bucky’s cool hand came to rest upon yours before gently pulling you up and away from the table. Sam and Sarah shared a knowing look, while AJ and Cass continued to be entirely preoccupied by the food in front of them.

“Buck, what’s — what’s up?” you asked curiously, as he guided you through the yard and out onto the dock, the familiar area faintly illuminated by the warm glow of the soft and aging lights. There was a nervous look on his face, one that made you want to move forward and smooth it away with a kiss; but as you stepped into his broad frame, he grew rigid. “Bucky, is everything alright?”

He laughed, a hint of nervousness breaking through. “Better than alright, doll.”

You smiled in relief, moving to lean against the weathered wooden railing of the boat dock, trusting that his rigidity and resistance was for a reason, whatever that reason may be.

You watched as Bucky took a deep, and incredibly anxious breath. Your heart started to race as you looked on at the tall, pacing man, unsure of what could be unsettling him like this. He spoke quietly and slowly, the weight of his words quickly bringing you into the gravity of the moment. “From the time I was sixteen and taking a girl on my first date, I had imagined what this moment would be like. When I joined the military, that moment I had imagined, it changed — I started to think of all of the formalities, of asking my girl’s father and hoping that my rank proved to be something he would respect, and that I was someone he could entrust his daughter to.”

You felt your heart race, although your mind was racing along even faster, a faint but hopeful feeling growing within your chest as you hung on his every word.

“But then things went wrong, so horribly, awfully wrong — so wrong that I could never forgive myself for what had happened, for what I had done, for what I had become. I was — I was a monster —“

It was at this point his voice cracked, as did your dedication to any emotional reservation; you reached out towards the man pacing in front of you on the docks, but were unsure of what to do next. He allowed your hands to come to rest on his waist as he continued to speak, his eyes staying locked on you as he paused to steady himself.

“For so long, I was the Winter Soldier. And even after that, for so long, I was fighting for redemption — I was fighting to... to become someone that was worth all the saving. I knew that I wanted to be better, I wanted to be more, I wanted to be the kind of person that someone like you could love.”

“I do love you, Bucky, all of you. I always have and I always will,” You whispered softly in response, the crashing of the waves threatening to drown out your words. “There’s nothing I love more in this life than you.”

Bucky smiled, although his bottom lip trembled slightly. “I had been so worried that the universe would — would punish me for what I was. I was worried that I would never... never get the opportunity to be loved again. But you —“ His voice cracked once again, and you saw the intensity of emotion playing out on his face as he blinked rapidly and pursed his soft, pink lips together. “You loved me, even after I told you everything, and — and you didn’t run away. And even after that, for years I went to sleep every night worried that this might be it, that it might’ve been my last day with you. But you stayed, and every new morning I got with you felt like a miracle.”

You shook your head slowly, tears rolling hotly down your face as you thought of all the mornings you had shared, never knowing the fear and relief that had been playing out behind those blue eyes. “Of course I stayed, Buck — I always will.”

He took another deep breath, trying to calm himself before speaking again. “I know that now. And — and I want to spend every day waking up next to you, I want to spend every day being loved by someone as incredible as you.” He paused, before sticking his hands into the pockets of his black denim jacket and fidgeting. “Sixteen year old Buck, twenty-two year old Buck, hell, even the Buck you met all those years ago never could’ve imagined this life, or this moment right here, but it’s exactly what it was meant to be. It was always meant to be me and you, doll, and that’s what I always want it to be. And with that —“

The world slowed down around you as Bucky gently grabbed your shaking hand, the warmth of his gentle grip radiating through you. In this moment, you were fairly sure that the waves had stopped crashing, the wind had stopped blowing, everything in the world coming to a quiet and peaceful standstill as you watched him sink down onto one knee. Your breathing had stopped, your whole heart felt as though it had stopped — and you appreciated the universe pausing for just one moment, allowing you to commit this entire scene to memory. Looking down at the man kneeling in front of you, Bucky’s eyes looked brighter and clearer than you had ever seen, even with the few tears that threatened to spill.

He continued to hold your hand, anchoring himself to you, as his other hand disappeared into his jacket pocket to retrieve a small black box; the velvet looked soft and darker than the night, and it was accented with a delicate gold thread that formed an intricate B upon the top. The beautiful box, resting against the cool vibranium of his palm, matched so perfectly that you were sure this had been intentional. Bucky stared up at you as though you had hung the stars in the sky above, and he grinned as he opened the box that held his promise of the future, of an unconditional and unending love.

“Would you do me the extraordinary honor of spending every day with me? Will you marry me?”

His voice rang clear and true across the water, and you didn’t need a single second to think of your answer — you launched yourself into his arms, laughing and crying to the point where you couldn’t speak a word, simply overflowing with happiness and love. Bucky’s arms wrapped around you, lifting you upwards as he stood up from the weathered grey wood of the dock; as he spun you around, you saw a look of sheer joy and adoration on the face of the man you had come to know and love. Setting you down gently, his hands never strayed from your side as he smiled at you expectantly. “So’s that a yes?”

You laughed as you nodded eagerly, realizing that the word had actually never been spoken — your voice shook with tears as you answered his question. “Yes, yes, yes — yes, Bucky, god, yes —“

Somehow his smile grew even wider and brighter; the sun had slipped below the horizon, but the two of you illuminated the scene with joy as Bucky took your trembling hand into his. The ring looked so small within the expanse of his broad hands, but as he slipped it onto your ring finger, it was perfect. Everything about it was perfect. “Oh,” you sighed softly, staring at the exquisite piece that graced your hand. “Bucky, this is — this is so beautiful —“

“Yeah?” He beamed at your praise. “It’s, uh, it’s pretty special — d’you want me to tell you about it?”

You nodded, still in shock and awe as you looked on at your hand.

“The band, it’s — well, it’s vibranium. It’s the strongest thing I know, next to you. And — it’s almost like it’s a part of me, y’know?” He shrugged his shoulder, and you watched the way the metal of his arm gleamed in the light. The band was thin, delicate, but as you now knew, it was also incredibly strong. “And the diamond, th’middle one, it was my mother’s.”

You felt another hot wave of tears rushing against you, crashing like the same waves that surrounded you. The stone was beautifully cut, the emerald shape highlighting the brilliant fire that somehow burned within the stone, and knowing the significance of it only served to make it even more perfect. “How — how did you—?”

Bucky laughed, his hands still holding onto yours. “Took a lot of work to get that back to me, but that’s a story for another day.” He moved your hand slowly and softly, admiring the way the diamond caught the low light of the bulbs above. “Fits perfect.”

“How’d you pull that off?” You asked, a hint of a tease behind your genuine curiosity.

Bucky laughed, the baritone of it echoing through your chest. “I might’ve... borrowed, one of your rings for a bit.”

“Ahh, so that’s where my mother’s ring had gone,” you mused, the smile on your face feeling as though it was permanent at this point. “I thought I was losing my mind when it turned back up in my jewelry box.”

“That was me,” Bucky admitted with a look of chagrin. “It was hard to keep that from you, I saw how worried you were — but I think it was worth it in the end, don’tcha think?”

“Absolutely,” you giggled, looking down again to admire the impossibly beautiful ring; you’d get to look at it every day, you’d get to have Bucky by your side every day. “Bucky, god, I love you so much —“ Overwhelmed by a tidal wave of emotions, you anchored yourself to him before leaning in for a kiss; his hands snaked around your back as he pinned you against his broad and muscled chest, and as you kissed him with fervor you tasted something unmistakeable on his lips. You pulled away from him reluctantly, and saw that a few tears had escaped to roll down his cheeks. You swiped the last one away with the pad of your thumb, before leaning in for one more soft kiss.

The faint sound of clapping made its way to you, carried along by the warm summer breeze, and both you and Bucky turned to see what had become your family grinning and cheering from the porch. The two of you laughed, the moment overflowing with joy, and he clasped your hand securely in his as he guided you off the dock and back to the excited onlookers.

Sarah was crying unabashedly as she pulled you in for a hug, and you wrapped your arms tightly around the woman who had become your best friend, your sister. “I’ve gotta see the ring,” she said eagerly as she pulled away from your hug. You felt heat rushing to your cheeks as you extended your left hand for her to see the ring. One eyebrow shot up as a grin spread across her face. “Damn, Bucky, you did good!”

He was quickly pulled into Sarah’s arms for an embrace, and he relaxed into the contact in a way that he never would have just a few years ago. Sam clapped Bucky on the shoulder, an easy smile on his face as he turned to look at you. “You sure this is the one you want?” Sam asked with a laugh, shaking Bucky by the shoulder.

You nodded, still smiling — you hadn’t stopped and you were sure your cheeks would be aching for days to come. “Yeah, I’m sure.”

AJ and Cass ran up to Bucky as they crashed into him for a hug, and he laughed as the wind was knocked out of him. “So, if you’re Uncle Bucky, does that mean we’re gonna get an aunt now?” AJ asked curiously.

Bucky nodded, the two of you sharing a soft and happy glance.

Cass spoke up next, having a question of his own. “Can we get some cousins too?”

The adults laughed at Cass’s genuine and hopeful question. You grinned on at Bucky, thinking of the sound of small footsteps running across your home’s creaking floorboards; you mussed Cass’s hair before pulling him into a hug. “One thing at a time, alright buddy?”

***

The wedding was small, but still bigger and more important than anything you had ever done in your life. Your backyard had been decorated by Sarah, having been filled with flowers and soft, sheer fabrics — it was transformed into something simple but ethereal. The weather held out, despite the brief shower that morning, and it was a perfectly balmy and breezy day. The wedding was attended by Mrs Braxton and her children, the librarian that Bucky had befriended, and the other community members that the two of you had come to love, and who had come to love you right back. You and Sarah had prepared the food for the celebration the day before, frequently having to chase Sam and Bucky out of the kitchen as they tried to steal a taste of something. The music for the evening was played from an old stereo that occasionally crackled with static, but it was just right.

Bucky waited for you by the sparkling water in a button-down with the sleeves rolled up, and you had fixed up an ivory gown that had been found while perusing a secondhand store. Sam walked you down the aisle, staying strong and steady as your heart raced and your knees wobbled; AJ and Cass stood next to Bucky, having excitedly agreed to being groomsmen after Bucky had bribed them with a pizza. The air was warm, but the collective feeling of all the love contained here, in your backyard, was more comforting than any sunny day or roaring fire could ever hope to be. Bucky bit his lip as he watched you walk towards him, one tear slipping down his clean-shaven cheek despite his best efforts to remain cool and collected. Sarah and Sam stood next to you after you had placed your shaking hands into Bucky’s equally-excited and nervous ones, and your eyes never left one another until that long-awaited line was spoken — “Mr Barnes, you may kiss your bride.”

It was the most perfect, tender, soul-shattering kiss, and the whistles and cheers faded into the background as if it were only you and Bucky here standing against the setting sun. He was all you needed, but in this moment, as the two of you walked down the aisle hand in hand, you looked on at the scene before you and realized you didn’t have only what you needed. You had everything you wanted.

***

Or so you had thought.

Your house was filled with love, no hidden cracks or crevasses escaping the happiness that emanated from the two of you, but it still needed something.

That something came along a few years later, and you could hardly contain your excitement when you dragged Bucky to the couch before presenting him with a hastily-wrapped box. He looked confused as he stared at the item you had eagerly thrust into his hands. “Is there a holiday or something I forgot about? I’m sorry doll, I’ll make it up to you.”

You just shook your head, the excitement and butterflies rendering you silent. You watched as Bucky carefully unwrapped the box, a curious look on his face as he bit his lower lip. The lid came off, and Bucky sat there with the box in hand, completely frozen for several minutes.

Hand shaking like a leaf in a storm, he grabbed the item before turning to face you, tears running down his face in rivulets as he looked on at you with unabashed hope. “R-really?”

He held up an impossibly small onesie, the words ‘My daddy is my favorite Superhero’ printed in bright, colorful letters. You nodded, grinning as the tears rolled down your face. You were swiftly pulled into Bucky’s lap, his arms cradling you against him securely, and he couldn’t do anything but hold onto you and cry.

Shoulders heaving, he looked up at you before planting a tear-stained kiss on your forehead. “Thank you,” he whispered to you, clinging to you tightly. “Thank you,” he sighed, but this one wasn’t for you — this was for the universe and the kindness it had extended, kindness he never imagined he could deserve.

***

The delivery was interesting, to say the least. Bucky had run through the house like a madman, coming to screeching halts and occasionally crashing into something as he tried to gather the hospital bags and anything else he thought you might need. He was an absolute terror on the road, but you knew that any police officer so bold as to try and stop him would simply walk away upon seeing the erratic and nervous look on Bucky’s face.

He somehow managed to calm down when you made it into the hospital bed; Bucky was here for you, he loved you, and was going to do absolutely anything that you asked of him. He never complained or winced when you gripped his hand so tightly that you thought you might pop a tendon; and he never left your side, whispering sweet words of love and encouragement through every tough moment.

And finally, after one more push, the room was filled with the piercing and beautiful cries that the two of you had been waiting to hear for months. Bucky looked on at you in absolute shock and wonder, as the doctor brought the baby to rest upon your chest.

“Congratulations, Mr and Mrs Barnes. It’s a girl.”

The two of you had decided to wait, knowing that the only thing that mattered was that your child made it earthbound safely.

“She has your eyes, Buck,” you whispered, as her tiny fist wrapped around your pinky finger. Bucky was silent and crying, unable to do anything else. Slowly, ever so slowly, his hands moved from the edge of the bed up to where your daughter was resting against your shoulder. As he got closer, he pulled back a bit, before regaining his courage and moving forward again. “D’you want to hold her?”

His eyes flashed with fear and trepidation; how could he hold something so sweet and so small and so new? How could he have made anything so innocent and perfect?

You shifted up in the bed, before grabbing Bucky’s hand and guiding it towards you. You eased the small bundle into his arms, and watched as his eyes grew impossibly large, like a deer in the headlights. You could see the emotions swirling within him as he brought her closer to his face, his finger coming up to gently stroke his daughter’s soft cheek. “Hi, sweetheart,” he whispered, voice cracking. “It’s — well, you don’t know me yet, but I’m your daddy. I love you so much, and I’m s-so lucky to have you and your mom. I can’t wait for you to see how amazing she is...”

He eventually moved to sit in the armchair next to your bed, and you drifted off to sleep as Bucky continued his one-sided conversation with his daughter. She was quick to follow you to sleep, and the poor nurse who offered to take her so Bucky could rest as well was subjected to a look that would shake anyone to their core. Your daughter slept on his chest that night, his head drooping against his shoulder as he held her close, and he only let her go when you were awake and asking for her.

The drive home was incredibly cautious, quite unlike the drive to the hospital, and as you stepped through the front door of your home, you smiled at the sight of Bucky managing multiple duffle bags, a baby carrier, and your McDonalds bag. He placed all of the items down gently, not wanting to wake the baby; he wrapped his arms around you, pulling you and your daughter into his chest. Sighing contentedly, he kissed the top of your head.

“It’s a good life, Bucky Barnes.”

You could feel the smile on his face as he kissed you once more. “It is now. I love you, sweetheart.”

“I love you too, Buck.”

#bucky barnes #bucky x you #bucky x reader #bucky fanfic #sebastian stan #tfatws #the falcon and the winter soldier

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thedeviltohisangel · 4 years ago

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The Only Good I’ve Ever Done

During the five years he was blipped away, he thought about the snippets of his life that he would miss the most. The moments that he never appreciated enough. The moments that were so fleeting that he never got to expound upon. Plenty of them involved his family. Times on the fishing boat that he didn’t realize would keep him alive in his adult years. Holding his nephews for the first time and learning there was so much more to life and legacy. But so many also involved her.

masterlist is my url/writing

accepting requests for this pairing

There were a few things about Louisiana that Sam knew would never change. They would always have the best seafood. His sister and nephews would always be there. And he would always hold his breath waiting to run into Leila.

They kept in contact while he was deployed. Spotty phone calls and fuzzy video calls sustained them but Sam cherished the letters she sent him more than anything. It was as if each stroke of her pen captured a bit of her heart that she sent away to be with him. Everyone teased him about how he was whipped for this girl. Asked him why he came out to this hellscape if he had such a beautiful woman at home waiting for him. He never answered because he didn’t think they would get it. He was here because he had a lot to prove. Prove to his parents that he could be responsible and mature. Prove to Leila and her family that he could keep her safe and provide for her. Prove to himself he deserved her.

When he was selected for the Falcon program, their communication slowed and slowed until it stopped altogether. He was pulling long hours and participating in highly classified missions and he didn’t know how to balance it. Leila still sent him letters even though he stopped writing back. He read them and felt numb. After so long, she stopped writing too. Every stroke of her pen broke her heart. She didn’t have anything left to give. She stopped visiting his sister and parents. Stopped looking at the houses for sale in the paper. Stopped looking at the bridal magazines in the waiting area of the doctor’s office. Her mom told her that sometimes people grow apart. Tried to help her rationalize Sam’s sudden disinterest. Her father told her that he had been right all along. That Sam was just some boy, not ready to be a man. That she deserved better. Leila held onto the hope that when he came back, she could look him in the eyes and talk to him and everything would be better. That they just needed to see each other again and it would all be okay. He would be hers again.

But his end date came and went. She heard nothing from him. Didn’t see him around town. When she found the courage to ask Sarah, she broke the news Sam wasn’t moving back to Louisiana. And she felt the nail in the coffin go right through her chest.

Sam thought about her when he watched Riley fall from the sky. Thought about her when he jumped out of the building in DC. Thought about her when he was locked in a cell on the Raft. He thought of her when he was snapped away and when he was snapped back and he had never known just how temporary life was than he did in those five years.

And now he stood on a dock in Louisiana and there were seagulls and old friends and she was there. She was smiling and laughing and he didn’t even know how to say hello to her.

She had heard Sam was back in town. She had been actively avoiding anywhere she thought he might be but there he was. A part of her could have guessed this was where they would ultimately cross paths. His family had so much history here. If there was anywhere for him to feel grounded, it would be at this dock.

It was also very clear that he was not going to come up and talk to her. At least not anytime soon. And if she wanted to have a conversation with him, after the years without one, she would have to be the one to initiate it.

“Hi, Sam Wilson.” There was no use in being nervous about it. No use in beating around the bush or pretending that they didn’t have the history that they did. She no longer held any resentment towards him. There had been too many years since then and too many astronomical events for him to hold her hostage. Since the last time she heard from him, she had loved others and lost others and learned how to grieve and how to cope and why her mother always told her the most important thing to be is resilient.

“Hey. I saw you over there and I was gonna-”

“You weren’t. That’s why I did,” she said with a smile. He was different. She could tell in just the handful of words they had exchanged. But he was still Sam. Maybe just a little rougher around the edges.

“If I didn’t know how to be with you Leila, I certainly don’t know how to be around you now.” He figured she deserved honesty after all these years. Besides, he had lost his chance with her long ago. There was no use in trying to save face or act suaver than he was.

“Well, if you’re here long enough we can try to figure it out. Try to find our inner second graders and go back to the simpler times,” she teased. Sam smiled and felt warm at the thought. Sometimes, people were meant to be in your life. You don’t always know how or why but you know you can’t live fully without them. She was one of those people to him. He was one of those people to her. It’d be worth the awkwardness to find some sense of rhythm and belonging again.

“Okay then let’s start simple. I’m here to work on the boat and brought some stuff for dinner if you have the time.” It sounded easy enough. Harmless enough. Two people catching up. There was a lot of that going around since they all had been snapped back. “Unless there’s someone in your life and doing that would be weird cause all the ladies here would certainly spread that around town.” She looked down at her shoes with a sad smile.

“There is but there isn’t. It’s a long story,” she replied.

“I have a lot of long stories too,” he shared. Without thinking, he reached for her hand and she met him halfway. Just the simple act made her feel safe and secure. Made her feel more protected than she had in years. Like she didn’t need to look over her shoulder in fear because he would be behind her. “Come on.”

She followed him to the old Wilson family boat and stood still for a moment once her feet landed on deck. It had been so long since she had stepped foot on the vessel, years of memories rushing back at her. She found her way down into the galley and smiled as she thought about the times with Sam where they had taken full advantage of the privacy being below deck brought them. As kids they had pretended it was pirate ship. As teenagers it was place to steal kisses and exploring touches. As young adults it had been sharing beers and learning about physical intimacy. “During those five years, Sarah let displaced persons live here. The marina felt like a real community again. Like it did back when we were little.” Leila paused at the corkboard with pictures and let her fingers brush the polaroid of her that was pinned there.

“She hasn’t mentioned that to me,” Sam replied as he emptied the paper bag of food onto the tiny table tucked into the corner.

“I’m sure you’ve both had more than enough to catch up on.” She slid into the chair he pulled out for her and took a nervous sip of a water bottle. “Thanks for the food,” she said with a smile as she popped a piece of shrimp into her mouth.

“It’s your favorite place. It’d be sacrilege to eat it without you.”

“It’s weird. The things you still remember about someone after time apart. The things you didn’t know you remembered until you saw them again.” She avoided his gaze when she looked up and saw how soft his eyes were as they landed on her. He had caused her nothing but pain and heartbreak since she had seen him last. He didn’t deserve her forgiveness. Didn’t deserve a second chance with her heart. Didn’t deserve to look at her like he loved her.

“You said there was someone,” Sam asked, clearing his throat. He couldn’t spend another second with her, falling in love all over again, if there was someone waiting for her at home.

“I was engaged. Pre-blip. He...dusted while we were on vacation. Everyone else came back…” she paused and wiped a tear from her cheek. “I assume he’s happier wherever he is and doesn’t want to come back to me.” In her eyes, it was exactly what Sam had done. Gotten a taste of life without her and decided it was the one he preferred to live. Sam reached for her hand across the table but she pulled it out of his reach.

“I’m sorry.” For what he did or her fiance did, he wasn’t sure.

“Don’t be. I’m tired of everyone feeling sorry for me. I should be used to being alone by now.” She dropped her head into her hands with a sad chuckle. “I didn’t take you up on your offer to be snarky or rehash the past. I’m sorry.”

Now it was his turn. “Don’t be. What I did all those years ago. Not writing you back. Not calling when I got to DC-”

“I can’t relive it, Sam.” It was still too raw. Too real. Too ever present in the back of her mind that she barely survived it the first time, let alone talking it out with him a second time.

“I was scared. Scared of the fact that we had a real future together and real plans and a real chance of making it in this world. I was scared back then and I can’t be scared now. Not anymore.” If he didn’t say what he needed to, wanted to, he would never be able to live with himself. Not with all the loss he had suffered. “And when I watched my partner fall from the sky I was even more scared of not having those things. Of depriving you of your chance to have them. I knew I was committed to a life of service and that there’d be times when I had to put you second and I didn’t want to make that choice.”

“It wasn’t your choice to make. You took that choice away from me,” she responded with a new fire residing inside of her. She had never got the chance to have this fight with Sam. Her spirit had been waiting long enough.

“You’re right. I made the choice to give us a clean break-”

“Clean? Were you high on gunpowder over there?” She slid off the chair angrily and grabbed her purse from where she had tossed it. Her appetite was gone. Her elation at sharing a meal with Sam Wilson was gone.

“Don’t walk away from this. We owe it to ourselves to have this out. End things for good!” he called after her as he followed her onto the deck of the boat.

“I hate you, Sam! I hated you everyday for years and even when others came along I hated you for making it impossible to move on! I hate you for being you and I hate myself even more for still loving you!” she jabbed her finger in his direction then promptly deflated.

“I never hated you, Leila. I never stopped being in love with you.” He wanted to kiss her. Crush her against him and never let her go. Promise her that he was ready to settle down and give her the life they had dreamt about together all those years ago. He took a step and she held up a hand to stop him.

“If you take another step, you have to understand what it means.” Sam grabbed her hand and pressed his lips to her palm. Kissed the tip of every finger and held it to his chest.

“It means I will never break another promise to you. Means you’re my forever and you have my heart for the rest of time. It means I will never put you second ever again and will spend the rest of my days earning your trust and forgiveness.” She stepped forward but kept her hand right where it was.

“Kiss me,” she whispered. And he did. It was softer than the reunion kisses of his dreams. His fingers were threaded in her hair, her eyelashes brushing against the top of his cheekbones as she leaned against him to try and get closer, closer, closer. Her hands were softer against his cheeks than he thinks he deserves. They held him with care. A delicate nature that had been removed from his life since the last time he held her like this. Leila’s toes stretched her upwards until Sam read her cue and gripped her thighs so she could jump and be his height. “Keep your hands above my waist.”

“What?” he asked dizzily as he pulled away but nipped at her jaw.

“You still have a lot of trust and forgiveness to earn,” she teased as she unhooked her legs from his waist and landed on her own two feet.

“Damn do you know how to wrap a man around your finger.” He pulled her in for a searing kiss. But he couldn’t help his mind wandering to her fiance. The man who abandoned her in some far corner of the world. Sam wanted to find him and...and maybe his anger at himself now had a different target after all these years. “Do you have a ride home?” he asked tenderly as he swayed with her in his arms.

“Are you offering to fly me back?” she asked jokingly but also seriously. She’d say yes if he offered.

“No. I wish I could but the men in camo don’t trust me outside the base.” She pouted and it punched him in the gut. “Soon. I’ll make it work, figure something out.” The following moment of peaceful silence and companionship was interrupted by his phone ringing in his pocket.

“Real work or superhero work?” she asked as he looked at it with a furrowed brow.

“Both. Just need a minute and then...then…” It kept ringing and ringing, he couldn’t get a thought out.

“I’ll go clean downstairs. Don’t take too long.” She kissed his cheek, dragging her hand down his arm before twining their fingers briefly, Sam not letting her escape his grasp until she got too far away to hold onto. He knew he kept putting this on his plate. His normal missions as Falcon. The Flag Smashers. The house and the boat. All of them felt like a weight on his soul but Leila...Leila felt like she lifted it. When she was around, he felt like he could breathe again. He was doing his best to juggle everything and he hoped, and prayed, none of them fell from his grasp. Not again. Not this time.

#sam wilson #anthony mackie #falcon #the falcon #sam wilson fanfiction #falcon fanfiction #the falcon fanfiction #tfatws #the falcon and the winter soldier #falcon and winter soldier #avengers #captain america #marvel fanfiction #marvel #avengers fanfiction #captain america fanfiction #sam wilson x reader

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azspot · 4 years ago

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After the Civil War ended white racial violence against now freed Black people erupted in Memphis (1866), New Orleans (1866, 1874, 1895 and 1900), Tennessee again in 1868, Mississippi (1871), Louisiana (1873), Alabama (1874), South Carolina (1876 and 1898), and Atlanta, Georgia (1906). During the 1866 riots in Memphis and New Orleans as many as 100 Black men and women were murdered. In Colfax, Louisiana, a white militia murdered as many as 150 Black men in 1873. In 1898, a white mob in Wilmington, North Carolina overthrew an interracial elected government. Rioters destroyed Black-owned property and businesses and killed as many as 300 people.

As the National Memorial for Peace and Justice in Montgomery, Alabama documents, between the end of Reconstruction in 1877 and 1950, racial terrorism led by groups like the Ku Klux Klan, including former Confederate soldiers, swept through the South to enforce Jim Crow segregation, protect unfair labor relations, and deny African Americans the right to vote. There were over 4,000 lynchings in twelve Southern states. An estimated six million Black people eventually fled north and west to escape the South’s terrorist regime.

Again, racist violence was not confined to the South. In 1910, after Jack Johnson, the defending heavyweight champion and an African-American defeated James J. Jeffries, a white former champion, anti-Black riots broke out in Atlanta, Cincinnati, Chicago, Columbus, Houston, Lo Angeles, New Orleans, New York, Philadelphia, and St. Louis. During and after World War I, as African Americans moved north to escape racist violence in the South and to find newly opening factory jobs, they were attacked in Chester, Pennsylvania, East St. Louis, Illinois, Omaha, Nebraska, Wilmington, Delaware, New York, and Chicago. White mobs destroyed hundreds of black homes and businesses on Chicago’s South Side. Over 1,000 Black families were left homeless. The worst white mob violence was in Tulsa, Oklahoma in 1921 where white rioters, many deputized by local police, attacked and destroyed homes and businesses in the Greenwood District, a prosperous Black community. The Tulsa massacre is considered the worst incident of racial violence in United States history.

White attacks on Black people erupted again during World War II as African Americans challenged segregation in jobs and housing. Whites rioted against Black workers and families in Beaumont, Texas, Mobile, Alabama, Detroit and Los Angeles. After the war there were a number of anti-Black, anti-integration riots in the Chicago metropolitan area. The Chicago Commission on Human Relations recorded over 350 serious attacks on Black families trying to move into what had been white Chicago neighborhoods between 1945 and 1950 alone, while Chicago Police Department reportedly did not intervene to stop the violence. In Cicero, a Chicago suburb, 4,000 whites attacked an apartment building where a Black family lived in 1951.

During the Civil Rights movement Black and white activists were repeatedly assaulted and a number were murdered, including Rev. George Lee and Lamar Smith in Mississippi in 1955, Herbert Lee in Mississippi in 1961, William Lewis Moore in Georgia in 1963, Medgar Evers in Mississippi in 1963. James Chaney, Andrew Goodman, and Michael Schwerner in Neshoba County, Mississippi in June 1964, Jimmie Lee Jackson, Rev. James Reeb and Viola Gregg Liuzzo in Alabama in 1965, Samuel Ephesians Hammond Jr., Delano Herman Middleton and Henry Ezekial Smith in South Carolina in 1968, and the Reverend Martin Luther King, Jr. on April 4, 1968 in Memphis, Tennessee. In the 1970s, efforts to racially integrate schools in Boston and Brooklyn led to attacks on school buses.

In December 1986, Michael Griffith was chased onto a highway by a white mob after his car broke down near their Howard Beach, Queens neighborhood in New York City. Griffith was struck and killed by a car. In August 1989, Yusef Hawkins was shot to death after being attacked by a white mob in Bensonhurst Brooklyn in New York City. Hawkins had gone to Bensonhurt to inquire about a used car that was for sale. In August 1997, Brooklyn police tortured Abner Louima in their precinct house.

The advent of the cellphone camera finally exposed the extent of police and vigilante violence to a broader (meaning white) public, and the Black Lives Matter movement demanded that we “Say Their Names”: Ahmaud Arbery (Georgia); Sandra Bland (Texas); Michael Brown (Missouri); Eleanor Bumpus (New York); Philando Castile (Minnesota); George Floyd (Minnesota); Eric Garner (New York); Freddie Gray (Baltimore); Trayvon Martin (Florida); David McAtee (Kentucky); Tony McDade (Florida); Laquan McDonald (Chicago); Tamir Rice (Cleveland); and Breonna Taylor (Kentucky).

#history #violence

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ratingtheframe · 4 years ago

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Lights, camera, lockdown! All the films I watched at home this November.

Last month, the UK went on a one month down lockdown, causing cinemas to shut and new releases to be put on hold.

In fact, Christopher Nolan’s Tenet was the only multi million dollar film to be released this year. It’s painful to think that Dune was supposed to be released almost two weeks from now and that we have to wait several months to see the sci fi film hit screens. Despite the post poned releases and closing of cinema chains, there are still some great films I hadn’t seen and used last month as an opportunity to look into them. Even though I didn’t see as much as I did in October, the quality of the films I managed to see this month is high.

His House (2020) as seen on Netflix

Starting off reasonably well with this horror brought to you by Netflix that centers the life around two immigrants and a spirit haunting the new lives they’re trying to build in the UK. It’s certainly a new perspective that I haven’t seen in horror and definitely isn’t a film for the fainted hearted for some of the scenes in this are genuinely terrifying. The overall message was thought provoking and poignant as it sort of spoke for those who’ve lost their lives attempting to seek asylum and those whoa are still struggling to find a new home.

His House is available to watch on Netflix. Score: 9/10

Nobody Sleeps in the Woods Tonight (2020) as seen on Netflix

Definitely one of the most surprisingly good films I watched this month, Nobody Sleeps in the Woods Tonight is a classic Netflix horror from Poland. The film follows a group of Polish teenagers addicted to social media who are sent to a camp to curb their addiction. However, when on a hike through the woods, one of the teens goes missing and without a phone to call for help, the kids are forced to face two grotesque monsters feeding upon humans. From start to finish, this film was highly entertaining and had a good structure to it. There were no gimmicks or cliches and it’s definitely a film I’d recommend to just about anyone.

Nobody Sleeps in the Woods Tonight is available to watch on Netflix.

Score: 10/10

The Ring (2002) as seen on BBC iPlayer

Gore Verbinski’s (A Cure for Wellness, Pirates of the Caribbean) infamous horror is a cult classic and must watch for scary movie fans. Usually horror films can be too gimmicky and borderline cringey without an ounce of substance to them. However, The Ring is surprisingly good in that it possesses a deep narrative with three dimensional characters, good acting and wonderful direction. When a journalist’s (Naomi Watts) niece dies in unknown circumstances, she embarks on a journey to discover a horrifying tape that if watched, kills you in a week’s time. The box office sales for this film speaks for itself seeing as the film made nearly $130 million when it was released back in 2002. The Ring is certainly not for the faint hearted, so if horror isn’t your thing, I’d advise you stay well away from it.

Score: 9/10

Misery (1990) as seen on Netflix

Stephen King’s Misery is turned into an unsettling thriller starring Kathy Bates and James Caan. Author Paul Sheldon (James Caan) ends up getting caught in a snow storm, that seems his car veer off the road, leaving him in a critical state. However, a seemingly caring and selfless woman, Annie (Kathy Bates) takes him in, using her work as a nurse to care for him. It turns out that Annie is a super fan of Paul’s work and the care she has for him soon turns nasty and sadistic, leaving Paul in a panicked state for he is in the middle of nowhere with a practical psychopath. I wouldn’t say Misery is one of best adaptations of King’s novels. There are better pieces of work by Stephen King that have been made into movies such as IT, The Green Mile and 1922. The pace was quite slow and the fact that it took place in only one settling detracted from the progression of the film. However, it’s entertaining, well cast and had a decent story to it.

Score: 7/10

Drive (2011) as seen on Amazon Prime

Drive is 1000% one of the best films I’ve seen this year, in my entire life in fact. It’s incredibly bold, ambitious, vivid, subtle and heart wrenching at moments. A stunt driver (Ryan Gosling) is torn between the world of crime he partakes in and the love he has for a young woman (Carey Mulligan) that lives in the apartment next door to his. The subtlety and sensitivity that both Gosling and Mulligan brought to this film was so pure and authentic to their characters, whilst bringing an underlying sadness to the entirety of the film. By the end of the film you want to cry but aren’t sure why and these sorts of films are rare to find. The sound track and SFX in this are unreal, again adding to the confirmation that this film is one of a kind.

Score: 12/10

Time (2020) as seen on Amazon Prime

I was delighted to see Amazon Prime had put this straight onto their service seeing as I’d missed out on Time during the London Film Festival two months ago. This is one of the most moving and deep pieces of work I’ve seen this year. Time is a documentary filmed over 20 years that details the life of a woman trying to seek justice for her husband who was put in prison for life for armed robbery. Not only is she fighting for her husband, but also her four sons, two of which weren’t even born when their father was put away in jail. Fox Rich lives in Louisiana, one of America’s toughest states when it comes to the criminal justice system. Sentences are of some of the highest in the entire country and are especially harsher to people of colour. Fox and her husband took the fatal and desperate decision to rob a bank in a bid to support their business and family. This drastic choice took Fox’s husband away from his family and for 2 decades, Fox spent time trying to get her husband out of jail. The thing that moved me the most about this documentary was her sons; four beautiful, smart and driven men who grew up without a father. It made me wonder how proud Fox must be of her kids and to see her fight for her husband and remain loyal to him is enough love to last two lifetimes.

Time is available to watch on Amazon Prime now.

Score: 10/10

The Departed (2006) as seen on DVD

Throughout this two and a half hour film I was wondering how they had managed to get Leonardo DiCaprio, Matt Damon, Jack Nicholson, Alec Baldwin and Mark Wahlberg to do a film together. And the answer is that this epic and high profile movie was directed by the infamous Martin Scorsese. It’s a mystery why I hadn’t seen this film sooner, seeing as it was a huge hit during its release making a staggering $291 million worldwide during its release. This is definitely DiCaprio’s best film (next to Revolutionary Road and The Revenant) and his performance was incredibly punchy and strong throughout. Everyone in this film was top class and the dialogue fitted well with each character with a natural story progression throughout. A top notch, Hollywood, must watch film.

Score: 10/10

Murder by Numbers (2002) as seen on Amazon Prime

One of Ryan Gosling’s earliest films follows two high school students committing a sadistic murder simply to see just how it feels. Detective Cassie Mayweather (Sandra Bullock) is put on the case to solve the murder and quickly pieces the case together, leading her to Richard Haywood (Ryan Gosling) and Justin Pendleton (Michael Pitt) two students at the same high school. I wouldn’t say this film was bad, however the ending played a big part in the overall quality of the film. It had a good pace and characters, however the ending definitely let down the film for it was rushed and unaligned to the rest of the film. Ryan Gosling’s performance at the tender age of 22 was pretty decent and definitely stated to everyone else his ability as an actor for years to come.

Score: 7/10

All Good Things (2010) as seen on Amazon Prime

As you can tell by now, I went on a Ryan Gosling whip this month. All Good Things is the true story of David Marks (Ryan Gosling), whose wife Katie (Kirsten Dunst) disappears and still to this day, has never been found. Marks was the prime suspect in the disappearance case but was never found guilty and lives a free man. Even though the story was interesting and the performances good, the fact this is a Weinstein Company Film made it hard to watch, especially with the totally unnecessary nudity and sex scenes that put Kirsten Dunst at its forefront. The film lacked a clear resolution and was left completely open ended like the case of Katie Marks, which is understandable, however not when it comes to making a good film.

Score: 6/10

Borat (2006) as seen on Amazon Prime

After finding the second Borat film to be highly entertaining, I decided to watch the first one and was certainly not left disappointed. The first Borat film introduces us to Kazakstan reporter Borat Sagdiyev (Sacha Baron Cohen) and his first visit to America, whilst taking in all the americanisms to report back to his own country. Soon his pursuit turns to Pamela Anderson whose doing a book signing across in California. The comedy has many jaw dropping moments and sees Cohen above and beyond the boundaries of comedy to bring the character of Borat to life.

Score: 10/10

Boy Erased (2018) as seen on Sky Cinema

If there’s one film worth watching on this list, it’d be Joel Edgerton’s Boy Erased. This film is the product of a real understanding of film language and the ability to make a beautiful and heart felt story. Edgerton is a well known actor, but has taken time to go behind the camera as well as in front of it in this Golden Globe nominated picture starring the likes of Lucas Hedges, Russell Crowe, Nicole Kidman, Troye Sivan, Xavier Dolan and Joe Alwyn. Like HELLO if that cast isn’t making you immediately turn off this site right now to find Boy Erased, then I don’t know what will. The film based on a true story follows Jared Eamons (Lucas Hedges) and his time spent at a gay conversion centre with fellow homosexuals Gary (Troye Sivan) and Jon (Xavier Dolan). Jared’s father (Russell Crowe) is a pastor he and his wife (Nicole Kidman) take their religion rather seriously, which is why Jared has been forced to seek help for his sexuality. It’s a hard concept to swallow, especially in this day and age when most parents, religious or not, are starting to become more acceptable of their children’s sexuality. This film exposes the reality beyond that and how some parents feel their child is damaged by something completely normal and feel the need to seek help for it. Boy Erased is made with sensitivity and beautiful acting from an a class cast. All round, it’s a perfect film.

Score: 11/10

The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo (2009) as seen on Amazon Prime

I was a little confused starting this film to see it in Swedish, as I thought I was watching the David Fincher film of the same title. However, The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo was original a book and the first adapation of it for film was directed by Niels Arden Oplev, two years before Fincher made his version, starring Rooney Mara and Daniel Craig. However, the fact that this version was in Swedish didn’t detract from the thrilling story spun onto screen. The three hour movie follows a journalist whose been hired to solve the mystery of a missing girl who is part of a high profile family. A young female hacker who once hacked the journalist and practically ruined his career, joins him along the way and the pair of them uncover a long string of untold secrets that see blood being split amongst numerous women. It’s one of the best thrillers I’ve ever seen and a must watch if you enjoyed Fincher’s version.

Score: 10/10

Still Alice (2014) as seen on DVD

A highly anticipated film on my part, Still Alice is an arresting and moving film about a mother struggling with on set Alzheimers. Julianne Moore scooped up a Best Actress Award at the Academy Awards in 2015, a Golden Globe and a BAFTA for her performance as Dr Alice Howland and her battle with Alzheimers at the age of 50. Kristen Stewart plays her daughter and Alec Baldwin her husband and their performances are equal to Julianne Moore’s. Overall, this was a touching piece that had soooo much depth to it and yet carried a satisfying simplicity throughout it.

Score: 10/10

Enemy (2013) as seen on DVD

I heard about Enemy’s synopsis via a YouTube video and was throughly excited to watch it on hearing it was directed by Denis Villeneuve, a master director when it comes to thrillers and sci fi films. Even though Enemy was difficult to fully interpret, I still enjoyed the story and performance Jake Gyllenhaal brought to the table as a man who meets another man that looks exactly like him. There’s some pure mind fuckery that plays throughout the film as you’re left questioning who is this other man or if there are even two men at all. If anything, it’s an exploration of a man having a double life, wrapped up in some sinister secrets and tied between two women. All of Denis Villeneuve’s work is exceptional and Enemy is no different. A must watch for thriller lovers.

Score: 10/10

A Star is Born (2018) as seen on DVD

Bradley Cooper’s A Star is Born certainly wins the award for making me cry the most this month. The last version I saw of this film starred Judy Garland and James Mason and was centred around a musical actress and the rocky relationship she had with her actor husband. That 1954 version possessed a lot of brilliance and it was easy to compare it to the more modern version starring Bradley Cooper and Lady Gaga. Who would’ve thought these two could be such an authentic on screen couple? The songs, the lyrics and the acting that these two brought to this picture was on another level, it was incredible from start to finish. Obviously the fact that this film had been done 4 times before honed the quality of the film, however Bradley Cooper’s direction and ability to bring out the best in Lady Gaga definitely makes this version of A Star is Born the best one yet. This directorial debut was nominated for 8 Academy Awards including Best Picture and Lady Gaga was handed the award for Best Music for a motion picture. Warning: you will cry whilst watching this or at least afterwards.

Score: 12/10

Sorry to Bother You (2018) as seen on Netflix

Netflix certainly came through this month when it put Boots Riley’s fanatical dark comedy Sorry to Bother You on its streaming service. It’s honestly like nothing I’ve ever seen before and the innuendo and hidden messages within this film make it something that you can watch several times and never get bored of. Cassius Green (Lakeith Stanfield) gets a job as a telemarketer who gets promoted to a “power caller” and through pride and greed, ends up abandoning his ideologies and friends completely. The film speaks for the gentrification of Oakland, California and capitalistic society we live in today. There are many hidden messages amongst the film that at first are hard to decipher, but soon you realise these messages are as clear as day within our own society. Lakeith Stanfield stars alongside Tessa Thompson, Steve Yeun and Armie Hammer, not a cast you’d usually put together but one that certainly worked. Sorry to Bother You is highly entertaining and will definitely make you laugh out loud at points and have you questioning your laughter right after.

Score: 10/10

The Florida Project (2017) as seen on DVD

I’m starting to think that films made between 2017 and 2018 are some of the best ever made and the Florida Project falls into that. I heard about this film through one of my favourite actors and was glad for the recommendation as this film is one of the best I’ve seen all year. The colours and character dynamics are strong and vivid throughout, as we follow the lives of people living on an apartment complex whilst speaking for the child poverty that plagues American society today. Willem Dafoe, who plays the complex’s handy man and security guard, even earned himself a Best Supporting Actor Award at the 2018 Academy Awards.

Score: 10/10

Eternal Sunshine of a Spotless Mind (2014) as seen on DVD

Usually I’d pass on a Charlie Kaufman film, seeing as they make no sense, however I felt that it was time I delved into this cult classic starring Kate Winslet, Jim Carrey, Kirsten Dunst, Mark Ruffalo and Elijah Wood. It’s a really well made film with a clear and distinct message to it that’s represented in some phenomenal filmmaking techniques. The plot line of this film follows a man trying to erase a past lover and his memories of her get wiped away physically before your eyes on screen. This film is certainly a conversation starter and one I’d recommend to just about anyone.

Score: 9/10

Moonrise Kingdom (2012) as seen on DVD

Wes Anderson’s wonderful mind is depicted in this endearing narrative about two children running away from home. This has to one of Wes Anderson’s most iconic films and next to The Grand Budapest Hotel, it’s definitely one of the films you think of when you think of Anderson’s work. His work is known for having well rounded stories, beautiful shots and A List casts, with Moonrise Kingdom being no expection as Anderson manages to squeeze Bruce Willis, Edward Norton, Bill Murray, Frances McDormand, Jason Schwartzman, Harvey Kietel and a young Lucas Hedges into this film. If you’ve seen any of Wes Anderson’s work and not Moonrise Kingdom, get on it now. No, seriously, now.

Score: 10/10

Jarhead (2005) as seen on DVD

Sam Mendes’ war film starring Jake Gyllenhaal and Jamie Foxx translates the lives of US soldiers in Iraq onto screen and the brain washing their government has done to boost the importance of the US military and the service soldiers are doing to their country. Jake Gyllenhaal’s execution in this film is a reflection of his ability as a great actor. He always has this patient and gritty approach to his work that makes him addicting to watch on screen. There’s an entire video on YouTube about Jake Gyllenhaal’s eyes and the way they communicate his emotions on screen. This is certainly present in Jarhead, as the anger, frustration, disappointment and despair is held within Jake Gyllenhaal’s eyes throughout. Jarhead was originally a memoir written by a US solider named Anthony Swofford. The only thing I wasn’t a fan of was the open ended resolution to the film and the stagnant progression of Jake Gyllenhaal’s character. He literally didn’t achieve anything, which I suppose is the point of the film and how the honour that soldiers who went to Iraq were supposed to feel, is more of a fantasy than a reality.

Score: 9/10

Silence (2016) as seen on BBC iPlayer

This film was truly summit else and a refreshing turn on genre from highly acclaimed filmmaker, Martin Scorsese. Silence certainly proved that he has the ability to be more sensitive with his films and can tells stories outside his usual New York mobster type movies. The film tracks the journey of two Portuguese missionaries (Andrew Garfield and Adam Driver) in the 17th Century who go to Japan looking for one of their mentors (Liam Neeson). However in this era, Christians faced persecution in Japan and were practically slaughtered for not following the country’s religion of Buddhism. The priests’ journey is perilous and heart rendering as they are forced to abandon their own religion in order to save their own lives and the lives of others. Despite the film being just over 160 minutes, it’s an inspiring story and one that is told in a tactful way. To believe this is a film is quite hard, as the accuracy of it makes it closer to reality than just a film itself.

Score: 8/10

Lynn + Lucy (2019) as seen on BBC iPlayer

This film recently came out in UK cinemas and was put onto BBC iPlayer due to lockdown. I found it to be interesting and enjoyed the new perspective it gave to quite a simple story. Lynn and Lucy have been friends for almost their entire lives, and when Lucy’s baby boy dies in unexplained circumstances, it drives a wedge between her relationship with Lynn, as people in their neighbourhood accuse her of being a child murderer. Eventually, Lynn stats to believe the rumours herself, leaving her best friend behind and favouring the opinions of those who hardly know her. A great debut and British film, Lynn + Lucy is profound story of friendship.

Score: 8/10

Revolutionary Road (2008) as seen on Netflix

Revolutionary Road has a metric score of 60% on Rotten Tomatoes, which I find quite offensive as the film nearly falls into the “thanks but no thanks” category of films. Directed by Sam Mendes and starring Kate Winslet alongside Leonardo DiCaprio, I don’t see what’s not to like. I only clocked halfway through the film why DiCaprio had been cast with Kate Winslet (Titanic, duh) and it made their on screen chemistry more prominent for me. I always say this about EVERY SINGLE Leonardo DiCaprio film I watch, but his performance in this was unreeeaaal. His character went somewhere intense and never returned, making the hardship on screen 10 times more powerful. There’s a scene where him and Winslet’s character are in a full blown argument and DiCaprio’s rage was on another level. Incredibly authentic and honest, Revolutionary Road showcases a wonderful example of when two masterful actors come together to make something great.

Score: 10/10

Hillbilly Elegy (2020) as seen on Netflix

Hillbilly Elegy recently got torn to shreds by critics as it was released on Netflix the other week, and I half agree with what most are saying about it, but also feel there’s unnecessary criticisms about this film. The film is based on a memoir of a Yale Law student, J.D Vance (Gabriel Basso) who comes from rough beginnings and ends up building the life he so desired from a young age. His mother (Amy Adams) is a destructive drug addict who’s moods change frequently so that she’s constantly at war with her own mother (Glenn Close) and two children (Haley Bennett and Gabriel Basso). The story follows J.D’s return to his home town to claim his mother from a hospital after she over dosed on heroin. The only problem is, he has an interview with a law firm from Washington the following morning and has to choose between taking care of his mother and landing his dream job. Sounds pretty intriguing, right? And it truly is. The film is laced with conflict and great performances from everyone, however critics have blasted this film with hate, saying that it doesn’t ring true to the entire American experience of living in poverty, without healthcare and enough money to bring food to the table. The fact that J.D made it to Harvard and now works for a successful enterprise somehow detracts from his struggle as a child, which I think is complete BS. I think this film should be taken for more face value than as a political story. It’s a straight talking, rags to riches tale that proves with hard work and dedication, you can transform your struggles into success. One critic had the audacity to say that “Selling out your origins is a kind of white trash cosplay because you were lucky enough to get out”. The irony of this is that the critic herself is white and it suggests had JD been a person of colour, it’d made a better film, which isn’t the kind of world where I want to live in when stories of people of colour are used as poverty porn rather than something to enjoy or learn from. My only criticism of this film would be the pace of conflict within the film and how things went from 0-100 waaay too quickly. This can happen in real life, but on screen it tends to look sloppy and rushed.

Score: 9/10

And that’s it! A rather short list for this month, but as the year draws to a close, I’m just really excited for the new films hopefully hitting screens next year. Seen you soon!

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londontantric-blog1 · 4 years ago

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Sex, Drugs, and Rock

The area that is now known as Turkey played a major role in the Mystery Religions. The use of drugs to create "religious" experiences was developed to a fine art by various occult fraternal mystery religion groups in the Turkey area. The Assassins from where we get the word hashish controlled parts of Turkey and Lebanon in Medieval times. They used drugs to gain the allegiance of their recruits. Some of the most powerful figures for the Illuminati have been Turks. The Grand Orient has had some powerful figures in Turkey. For instance, at the Masonic Congress of all the Grand Orients' (that's European Freemasonry- although several American presidents have been members of European Freemasonry) Grand Lodges, Bou Achmed came from Turkey. The Grand Lodge of Asia was represented by Sebeyck-Kadir from Asia. Bou Achmed took a big role in the Grand Orient's decisions.

As an aside, let me explain one example of the power of the Grand Orient in America. The Grand Orient was originally strong in Louisiana but spread itself to many other US. locations. Garfield, a very powerful man in the Grand Orient, managed to become US. President because the political process got deadlocked at the convention and the Masons suggested him as a compromise candidate. Although Garfield was an extremely powerful Mason, had been perhaps the youngest general in the US. Army during the Civil War, the Illuminati ordered him shot after he had served about a year in office as President. Garfield was reported by an eye-witness to Satanic rituals to have participated in the cannibalistic rites of Satanism done to gain the spiritual power of the eaten person. The Grand Orient Freemasonry has been linked to other orders of Freemasonry that are also called Rosicrucians. Pope John XXIII joined a Rosicrucian group that had links to European Freemasonry when he was in Turkey.

While the secret Grand Orient Freemasonry was very strong in Turkey in spite of its small numbers, the regular American Freemasonry granted a dispensation for a Masonic Lodge to operate in Smyrna, Turkey in May, 1863 but the charters were withdrawn on Aug. 27, 1880. However, it is interesting that of all the Turkish cities, Smyrna was definitely the best place for Freemasonry to gain recruits. Men like Achmed Pasha and many of the other Pasha family have been leaders within Freemasonry and the Illuminati. Achmed Pasha was a Satanist and had a large harem. Mehmet Talaat Pasha (1872-1921) was a Freemason and part of the Turkish revolution of 1908. He was the leader of the Young Turks, which was a joint project of the Sufis and the Frankist Satanists. (The type of Satanism led by the Frank family has had connections to Turkey for hundreds of years.) Mehmet Talaat Pasha was the Grand Master of the Grand Orient of Turkey. He was held the political position in Turkey of grand vizier of Turkey (1917-18). Another Turkish Pasha was part of the Turkish royalty running Egypt when Egypt was part of the Ottoman Empire. His name was Khedive Ismail Pasha and he was Grand Master of the Grand Lodge of Egypt. It was this Turk, Khedive Ismail Pasha, who gave the famous Obelisk to the United States. This Obelisk was called Cleopatra's Needle and was originally erected in the city of the sun, Heliopolis, about 1500 B.C. The Obelisk is a representation of a human penis, because sun worship, worship of regeneration (sex) and worship of the sun god Satan were all tied together. Masons helped with the moving of the obelisk, and its dedication when it arrived in New York City. Large obelisks have been erected by Masons in New York, Washington D.C., Paris, the Vatican, and London. (If my memory serves me correct Berlin received one too at one time.)" (1)

Notice the importance of Smyrna as a source of Freemasonry here. That is where the Onassis family has operated potion-pushing or altered consciousness drugs for millennia.

Sometimes, when my tiny head is spinning with disinfotainment and other artifacts of the mediasphere, I try to think what archaeologists and social historians 2,000 years from now might make of our particular little epoch. How, for instance, would they parse the word "drug"?

Is a "drug dealer" a pharmacist or a petty criminal? When we talk about "reasonably priced drugs for seniors," are we discussing marijuana or Lipitor {or Levitra}? What would they make of the fact that the last four American administrations have declared a "war on drugs" while taking money from drug companies?

Why is it bad when residents of Colombia build mansions from profits on the sale of drugs, but it's good when residents of Newport, R.I., do the same thing? When one person cannot live without "lifesaving drugs," we express great sympathy, unless that person is a "drug addict," in which case we may even throw him in jail. When a mood-altering drug is sold in pill form in stores, it's called an antidepressant and hailed as a medical breakthrough. When a mood-altering drug is sold on the streets, it's called felony drug trafficking and subject to stiff criminal penalties. see here london tantric

Because we are native speakers of Americanadianese, we can wend our way through the contradictions. We know that the bad drugs are the ones the cause euphoria and impair judgment, unless the drug is alcohol, but that's not ever called a drug, so there's no confusion there. We know that the good drugs are the ones that cure diseases or relieve symptoms, except sometimes the good drugs are ineffective or even counterproductive in achieving those goals.

Street dealers do not finance experimental trials on the effectiveness of the drugs they sell. Drug companies do, but they fudge the results. Street dealers have a small feedback loop because customers can tell pretty quickly whether they're loaded or not. Drug companies have a long feedback loop because human beings can't instantly tell whether their cholesterol is being lowered or their blood thinned or their insulin production stimulated. A drug with a long feedback loop is clearly more profitable than one with a short feedback loop because the dealer can keep an ineffective drug on the shelves much longer.

Interestingly, the people who sell ineffective drugs are generally said to have made "honest mistakes." If a street dealer sold you an ineffective drug, you could take five of your friends and go back and have a brisk conversation with him. If a behind-the-counter dealer sold you an ineffective drug, you'd have to hire a lawyer and file a lawsuit and maybe, maybe, 10 years later you'd get some money, although probably you'd be dead by then.

Street dealers don't have patents on their drugs, which means that they'll always have plenty of competition. Drug companies do have patents, so they can set their prices without worrying about market economics. And when their patents run out, they can put out a drug with a slightly different formulation, promote it like mad and sell the new drug in a monopolistic setting {With government mandated market support in order to manage the 'money-trees' while building bureaucracy.}. You have to wonder when street dealers are going to come up with Cocaine XR or LSD Reditabs.

Since the street dealer works in a competitive atmosphere, he has to keep his prices relatively low. In order to increase his profitability, he can "step on" his product, that is, dilute it. It would be unwise for a drug company to adulterate its product, but since it owns a monopoly, it can set prices artificially high and achieve the same profitability levels. A street dealer who knowingly poisons his clientele is called "the scum of the earth." A drug corporation that knowingly poisons its clientele is called "a tobacco company." People who sell illegal drugs often rot in jail for 20 or 30 years. People who sell legal drugs are often forced to attend tedious daylong board meetings. People who take illegal drugs are called "losers." People who take legal drugs are called "everyone in America."

Glad I'm not an archaeologist in 4040; my brain would ache a whole lot.

One pill makes you larger, and one pill puts you in jail, and please do not operate heavy machinery with the ones that mother gives you. {My ex-roommate was being told to apply for his old job as a forklift truck operator while being given drugs for Schizophrenia which he did not have. He was no liar and could not expose a potential employer to the insurance risks or his fellow employees to the life threat this would entail. Many drugs people use are impairing their driving prowess, and there are laws to take away their license that go unenforced.}

Driving that train, high on ethyl 4-1-piperidinecarboxylate.

Homeopathy:

It is a wonderful thing to have the Joy of Learning and to make a career that you find is related to your studies. There are so many ways to get a Doctor label and thus claim expertise in the many fields and disciplines which we have broken knowledge into. Some of this is counter to real expertise and much of it just sets people apart from knowledge and each other. But people are also being segmented into classes within the hierarchy of government backed by and for elites in all so many ways. Medicine has been one of their more dastardly tools alongside religion. This next little factoid reminds me of how Edward Gibbon almost died because the British Medical system would not approve vaccinations through use of scabs as had been done by the likes of Paracelsus or others in antiquity and which was approved in the France of his era.

"When the Cholera epidemic reached England, it provided another opportunity to compare homeopathic treatment with the conventional methods of the day. Regular allopathic medicine yielded a mortality rate of 59 percent compared to only 16 percent for the Homeopaths. (2) When these statistics were collected, the information was so startling that a medical commission was sent to the London Homeopathic Hospital to check the records. Though the data were duly verified, it was decided not to make them public, and the facts were not released until a hundred years later." (3)

The formation of the American Medical Association is a major issue against alternative healing or real care for people. In the late 19th Century as these issues were becoming apparent there were many who knew that the allopaths or medical doctors selling laudanum and the like were actually the 'Killing-trade'. There are signs that stress management (don't fret - sweat or exercise) and the connectiveness to the 'all' around us are again making a play to be considered in health maintenance. Vitamins and supplements are able to prove to even the most duped person receiving medical care that they work and yet some doctor's groups and the governments that back them still disqualify doctors who advise their usage.

Academics are subject to a 'Knowledge Filter' (Berkeley Law Professor - Johnson) or Literary Theory (UBC English Professor Graham Good) and the outright suppression of creative or thoughtful and meaningful potentials. (4) The concept of Bucky Fuller called 'the observer of the observed' and his more detailed 'creative realization' is part of what operates as we 'project' upon reality. For example the things we see are actually a mixture of fields of energy from the dross and less excited to the highly excited or vibrational energy inside the atomic structures. One way of visualizing this includes an aura, which is the field of energy not usually visible but associated with the solar body and integrative centers called chakras. Perhaps we could contemplate a time when all people had the ability to see or sense auras. In our socially normed 'projections' that include telling our children certain things do not exist, we have lost the conscious integration or incorporation of these fields of reality.

Psychic surgeons in the Philippines and Brazil have had their energy measured during operations at the same vibration rate of 7.8 cycles. It started me thinking about how we can alter our state and how others might perceive us in these altered states. Clearly if anyone could see all the spaces between our electrons and the nuclei or between the different atoms and molecules we wouldn't seem solid by a long shot. Thus these surgeons who use no utensils would be able to energize the infected or diseased body part or tumor to remove it at an altered vibration level. There have been solid documentaries with such credible support as X-rays before a San Francisco businessman had such a tumor removed and X-rays a year later showing it hadn't returned. In the end you must decide who has the most to gain from the arguments and whether or not you want to actualize your own potential. Once you do a few things the debunkers say are impossible - then a smile will come to your face; and the intellectual conflict loses all import.

String Theory knows about the harmonic forces that are less than solid which somehow combine to make what we perceive as a solid. The astrophysicists now have told us that 95% of the universe is 'Dark Matter' or 'Dark Energy' - so get with it before you are invisible and don't know it! Just kidding! We fear that which we cannot fully comprehend and our experts or priests and doctors include many enablers of our fears. We even allow fear to pre-empt love; which is ironic because at the end of our lives it's not the fears or the differences that matter the most but whether we loved and allowed ourselves to be loved as much as possible.

"Every new perception of knowledge is always based either directly or indirectly on older knowledge. InteliTapping allows us to connect with the oldest, yet most complete source of knowledge." (5)

Nature produced a show on the origins of music and the biological and archetypal impact it has had on our evolution and emotional wherewithal. Along with reed instruments from as long ago as 60,000 years that obviously show sophisticated development of technology, they had the cave operas of those who rubbed and drummed on stalactites. They posited that the tree-swinging hominid that like the Sumatran Gibbon co-ordinates community for protection through territorial chants, is not so much less aware as most of our great Lockean influenced academics seem to be. These animals also learned what plants are dangerous and what plants alter your spiritual consciousness. You can see it when your puppy goes outside for the first time and chews on some grass to settle its tummy. Our genes contain a lot of information or the ability to tap-in to much knowledge. The buzz you get from 'weed' is the buzz coming from your Thalami and Third Eye or Pineal gland that has a crystal radio receiver and grains or crystalline structures. Crystalline structures like quartz were known to be useful in the Lost Chord of the Druids and more ancient shamans. There are magnificent quartz caves in Central America and other places that would have been used by early hominids for a certainty.

The Best Body Language - Sex:

Long before Tantra or Bhakti Yoga there were many things ancients probably learned from intercourse, even more than most people do today. Today we have drugs like Viagra to enhance the longevity of the sexual encounter. The Mayans have natural drug for this. There are so many things which keep us busy or deflect us from spiritual insight as is noted in many Eastern systems which refer to the 'busy-mind' or samsara and the illusion of Maya.

Second degree Wiccan students who have advanced through a rigorous training in esoteric knowledge begin a quest that many would regard as perverse pursuit of pleasure and self-gratification. The partners are often involved in other committed relationships. When a man and a woman who are interested in spiritual growth combine to experience the Tantric or Bhakti (Yoga) or ritualistic growth potential to free more than just their personal self or ego to reach the heights of spiritual or psychic possibilities; who can say what is real and what is imagined. This effort to commune with spirit is termed 'working partners' and the allies or guides is who they really seek to merge or work with. The imagination is undoubtedly a part of the dynamic. It isn't necessary for them to care for each other in the way lovers do. I have not done this 'work'.

Many people talk about 'soulmates' or 'dual flames' and the words become mere shadows of the real potential. At the same time sex is a dirty 'word', and act, in much of society.

What can a writer say to convey the essence of all these things?

If I absolve myself from the challenge of integrating these concepts, rituals and soulful realities I would simply say trust your soul and know that wherever you may go you will find something more than whatever you thought was real to begin with.

If I talk about 'la petite mort' or empathic attunements with the soul of the partner that allows the self to disintegrate and become part of something larger than one person; and almost dissolve in the vastness of spirit - it will only seem like prose and poetry. The phrase 'la petite mort' or 'the little death' can in fact lead to a Kundalini type experience which can cause death.

Of course, one can wax eloquent and carry on at length about any of their hopes and desires. The essence of a great working partner most probably has little to do with these aspirations and more to do with the way the soul interpenetrates all people. The glimpses of insight gained through empathy and love with those who shared my needs are special to me and will forever stay in the part of my soul (if there is such a part) that cherishes all we were and hungers for what we could have been.

To deprecate the witch who 'draws down the moon' into their partner on the path to worship of things no one can fully know is the stuff of fearful and insecure people. That kind of bigotry without actual experience is rampant in all areas of society. It is truly just the tip of the proverbial iceberg when one contemplates all the ways mankind has developed to separate himself from what we are collectively and what god truly wishes for us to realize. No amount of constant seeking or obsession with these pursuits will ever get a man any closer to his soul than what he was while in his mother's womb.

The joy and creativity of the challenge to know is as great a gift as our maker can give us - except perhaps the acquiescence to the soul within the loved one you are blessed to have the chance to know and share your life with. In the moment of creation each day as we grow and learn to be, we are forever drawn by some force that seeks greater harmony and purpose for all energy.

Many (if not most) people think the 24 hour orgasm is like alien abductions but the EEG and other ways of measuring physical responses would convince them otherwise. A similar number of people find the misuse of Tantric Yoga by the likes of Crowley and Hubbard is tantamount to whatever is evil in man. I say they are right, but that is not the fault of Tantric Yoga. These techniques are very seductive and in some ways the participants would choose to have the experience even if they knew a great deal about it because it is a sad truism that Masters and Johnson or Kinsey are right. They say a full third of women never have an orgasm through intercourse.

Many people seldom enjoy sex and some significant number of the rest of us are in varying stages of poor to decent ability and openness to what great learning sex can provide. It could be said that our sexual relations are a good barometer of the state of society. I favour sex education and all the opportunities and responsibilities that go with the natural and soulful functions of the act. It is easy to understand why some people are hesitant to have strangers teach their loved ones about sex. But Father Leo Booth is right when he notes that parents who repress their children or foist suppressive behavior upon them are just as guilty of abuse.

#london tantric

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