#Anyways i watched 3 cause i hadnt seen it and i went to see 4 today

[soaringsearingphoenix]

i have decided that Po from Kung Fu Panda is ace/autistic representation

[pogaytosalad]

Heres a wip of a sequel.

Dmviolence, by jade

Hello, if youre hearing this, it probably means im dead. Either that, or im alive and just got tired of keeping this hidden. You might remember my voice from a previous recording about a takeover in sector ⬽:➻, in which id helped prevent total annihilation of the sector. At the time i was unnamed, however now you may call me Kalton. After the takeover i resigned and moved to a job at a dmv. This planet was, for some reason, in one of the most tactically advantageous locations in the galaxy. And for some reason the higher ups dedicated the whole damn planet to dmvs. Dont ask why. Now, onto the story.

I woke up, and i put on my emerald green contact lenses. Just like any other day. I put on a basic white t-shirt and a leather bomber jacket along with a pair of jean shorts. If you cant tell by now, im gay.

I live in a small apartment. By small apartment i mean a bedroom, a bathroom and a kitchen all crammed into 2 rooms. I hopped out the bedroom window onto my motorcycle. It was a diamond white motorcycle with deep red stripes along the sides and the handlebars. My pride and joy. I put on my jet black helmet and took off towards my job at the, you guessed it, dmv.

Chapter 2

I pulled up in the parking lot and took off my helmet, my blue hair a total rats nest. The doors were push doors, yet i somehow ALWAYS pulled first. I entered the dmv and went to my station. A few hours passed by and no one had come in yet, which was unusual. So naturally i decided to sit down on the floor, put in my earbuds, and enjoyed some heavy metal. A few more hours passed by, and usually by now i wouldve been yelled at by my boss. This struck me as odd so i stood up. I really wish i hadnt stood up. The place had been completely destroyed. There were drop pods crashed in through the roof and they all had the ERGON logo on them. Ergon was a multi trillion dollar pencil manufacturing company with its own military. They had previously tried to take over sector ⬽:➻ when i had been working there. I was not looking forwards to what was about to happen.

Quickly, i ducked back onto the floor before anyone saw me. There were 4 riot soldiers holding this building. This was gonna be fun. The riot soldiers are your stereotypical riot gear and police baton soldiers. But these guys had laser batons and the riot gear gave them heightened strength and speed. They also had some, dare I say, shitty energy pistols. I crawled over to one of the soldiers who wasnt being watched and broke their neck. Carefully I took the baton and the pistol. Slowly crawled my way back to my station and checked the shot count in the pistol. I had 6 shots, just enough to take care of the remaining three soldiers. I stood up quickly and shot each soldier twice in the head. First shot to open the riot helmet, second shot to kill. I vaulted over the counter and grabbed the three pistols. These things were so stupid. You couldnt even remove the clips. Once you ran out of shots, the pistol was useless. Nonetheless, i didnt have any choice. I had a laser baton and 18 total shots in 3 pistols.

Upon leaving the building, my motorcycle was one of the few things to survive. It had alot of scratches and damage, but it still worked. The helmet was shattered however. I mounted the motorcycle and took off towards the next closest dmv. Maybe id find some better gear there.

Chapter 3

Pulling up next to the second dmv i immediately noticed 3 things. 1: there was blood everywhere. 2: there were 25 soldiers here. And 3: they all had energy weapons. The reason these things are relevant is because energy weapons dont cause bloodshed. This was the result of something else. Something new i hadnt dealt with yet.

I drove up and ran over 5 of the soldiers. This was probably an incredibly bad idea, seeing as i had 18 shots, enough for 9 kills, and there were 20 soldiers left. Every single soldier turned to me and i, being the absolute genius that i am, welded the front of one of the pistols shut with the laser baton, shot it off, and threw it into thei crowd of soldiers. It exploded, releasing a shockwave of energy and disabling the soldiers. I then used the baton to cut through the riot gear and kill the soldiers. I felt like a badass. That is until a mechanical looking wolf jumped at me and started trying to rip my face off.

The wolf was a frostwolf, except it had been placed into a mechanical frame and its teeth and claws had been replaced with lasers. I tried to bash it off of me with the baton but it just bit it in two. This gave me just enough time to grab an energy pistol and shoot the wolf. It kept trying to kill me amd i wasted a whole clip on it until suddenly, the dog started to levitate in the air and got thrown aside into a wall. I got up and was instantly frozen in place. Thats when.. she walked up.

Chapter 4

The she i am reffering to is ebony. A goth/punk wannabe with light blue tear shaped eyes and black hair with purple streaks. Shes a bitch whos mind got too powerful and now she can move things without touching them. Shes been chasing me for months. Not in a murderous way. Shes just obsessed with me. Ive tried to tell her im gay but she wont listen. And now im at her mercy.

She walked up to me and kissed me on the cheek. I hated it. She looked as if she was contemplating whether or not to free me when a pod came down from the sky and crushed her. Thank god. But i honestly wouldve rathered suffered at her hand than deal with what i had to deal with next...

Out of the pod came the warden. The goddamn warden from sector ⬽:➻. Last id seen him hed been in the same situation as ebony. Crushed to death under a pod. But this time, instead of being on my side, he was here to kill me. He was huge. Like seriously huge. He was at least 8 feet tall and shaped like gaston. Whos gaston? Nobody knows these days. But its basically a way to say "extremely buff and wide". Back to the story. The warden wasnt looking very good, considering the rotten skin, obviously quickly patched together face, and muscles hanging loose out of his skin. His rotting ruined body was held together by an exoskeleton of chromium-tungsten alloy. Nothing i had was gonna cut through that. I was gonna have to get creative here..

The warden had 2 weapons, both of them were his fists. Huge gauntlets that were each about the size of a cow. Definitely bigger than his previous set. They were a golden green metal i couldnt identify. But i didnt want to get hit with one to try and find out. I ran. I ran as fast i could run into the dmv and hid. I could hear the wardens footsteps. It was as if a small earthquake happened each time he took a step.

I peeked over the desk i was hiding behind and saw him punch through the 2 desks opposite to me. It took no effort and i couldve sworn i saw him smile. Obviously i didnt. Cause he didnt have a mouth anymore. But if he did, he definitely wouldve smiled. I took a shot to get his attention and ran off towards the wall. The warden was definitely faster than i expected.

Luckily i managed to dodge the blow by a centimeter. The metal smelled of decaying flesh and popcorn. The wardens blow punched a huge hole in the wall. I hope you see where im going with this.

I ran off to another wall and we repeated this same process a number of times until the building was barely still up. I ran out the doors and threw the baton at the last of the supports, cutting through it and causing the building to collapse in on the warden. He wasnt getting out of that. I decided to search the rubble to see if i could find anything worth taking. I found a new baton, a flame rifle and a few more energy pistols.

The flame rifle was a very interesting design. The sides were painted jet black with flame decals scattered about. You could feel the heat on the inside and it made the gun warm to the touch. Comfortable to hold. Other than that though, it looked like an old fashioned 8.59mm sniper rifle. It had 4 shots remaining, so id have to use it sparingly.

I grabbed some scrap materials out of the rubble to make a holster for it and put it on my back.

The energy pistols just dangled from a keychain. The baton was simply turned off and placed through a hole in the back pockets of my shorts. I ran to my motorcycle and drove off, i needed to find out more. I had questions, and i had a sneaking suspicion that i knew where to find the answers.

I drove off again, i was dirty and there was blood on me and my bike. I probably looked like a serial killer. But i knew that if anyone was still alive, itd be jayden. They were.. well. They were a vampire. They lived in a swampland area and wore sparkly rainbow shirts and a huge sunhat. The sunhat allowed them to go outside in the sun, and they only drank coconut water. They also had a crazy amount of weaponry and used to work at ergon, before being fired for stealing weaponry. By the way, if you havent noticed by now, im using they/them to refer to jayden. Jayden doesnt have a gender. Jayden.. is kind of my crush. It probably has something to do with the fact that theyre the only person on this planet who talks to me. Other than ebony.. but ebony is... not my type i guess. Anyways, back to jayden. Jayden was on the roof of their swamp shack drinking coconut water out of a wine glass. I yelled up at them and they fell off the roof onto my back. I guess i cushioned their fall. Jayden immediately said "What do you need dear" without waiting for me to stand up, and shattered the wine glass. I informed them of the situation and asked the questions i had. Things like "what are the ergon soldiers defences like on their ships" and "how did they reanimate the warden" they had answers.

Jayden told me about the new security measures that had been put in place since id last been on an ergon ship. There was now a code for each teleportation pod and the gaurds had doubled. As for the warden, it turns out jayden was actually the first test run in reanimation sciences, and couldnt answer me because they had been unconcious in a lab when the warden was reanimated. That explained the vampire undead thing. Jayden invited me into the shack where they pulled a nail out of the floorboards and it turned into a ramp to the basement. Down in the basement? Thats where jayden kept their weapons they stole. And boy oh boy were there some interesting ones.

One that immediately caught my attention was the big rocket launcher. It had 3 barrels and each was a different colour, indicating a different effect. One was red, one was yellow, and one was green. The red barrel fired a normal explosive rocket, the yellow barrel fired an electromagnetic pulse rocket, and the green barrel fired an acidic explosive. And the launcher shrunk down to the size of an energy pistol when a button was pressed. It gathered up dirt and dust and garbage around it from the back to quickly convert into ammo but the only downside is that it would be difficult to use more than once in an area.

Jayden picked out an old shotgun. At first i didnt understand why, but then they loaded the clip. The clip was a huge drum that loaded in the bottom of the barrel. The drum was see through and inside you could see sawblades lined up side by side. When they pumped the shotgun a blade got lifted into a slot between the 2 shotgun barrels and started glowing red. When the trigger was pulled, the blade spun at high speeds and fired out of the slot, spinning along the ground like a wheel. It could cut through anything a baton could cut through and seemed to almost follow its target. The gun itself looked like an DP-12, except behind the pump, a large clear drum full of sawblades was in place. The blade sat between the barrels in place of the iron sights and got heated up by an electrical circut.

I also took a laser sword instead of my baton, it was just like the one that [3825968] had, except this one was about an inch longer. The final weapon i took was an acid thrower. It was basically just a watergun with acid in it. Ive always been partial to acidic weapons. If youve heard my other story, youd know why..

Jayden also took a submachine gun that fired freezing rounds. The rounds were essentially glorified waterballoons with liquid nitrogen in them. Though the rounds were bullet sized, enough shots from it would certainly freeze you in place. The freeze gun was about the size of the average human head, and was painted navy blue with blue saphire stripes placed along it. We both left the shack, me with my sword and jayden with a wine glass. We were ready to kick ass and put a stop to this.

We left and immediately both got flung into some trees. Guess who it was. It was ebony. Her body had been found and reanimated. I was starting to see a pattern. And now we had to fight the telekinetic who could kill us with a wave of her hand.

She was levitating. Her eyes were glowing red and her hair was floating in the air. She had a smile of someone about to rip your arms off and beat you with them. I tried to take a shot at her but my hand got knocked aside by an invisible force. So i tried the next best thing. Seduction. Fake seduction. Hopefully the whole dying and coming back from the dead thing didnt make her stop being weirdly obsessed with me.

While i faked surrender and complimented ebony and attempted to seduce her, jayden took aim of their ice gun and shot a burst at ebonys right arm. The arm froze in place and shattered. Hopefully that would lower the strength of her telekinetic abilities. It did. But only by about half. Which meant jayden got thrown into the air as i tried to discreetly unholster my acid gun. It wasnt discreet enough and the gun was knocked from my hand.

The gun flew forwards and the impact of hitting the ground set it off for a second, just enough to spray an acidic burn through her arm. Incapacitating her. Jayden ended up sneaking up behind her and impaling her through the skull with the shattered end of their wine glass. Finally ebony was dead for good.

The acid gun was busted, so we had to leave it behind. We got onto my motorcycle and took off towards my apartment building. We would need food if we were going to be traveling. An apartment complex would probably be full of foods, and alot of dead people who wouldnt care if we took some stuff.

[739337369137371082]

Hey so I found u thru the Halved Live Funnies and I gotta ask... whose Leon? What series these dudes from?

i got this ask and then forgot about it for like 2 days. anyways.

IVE ANSWERED THIS BEFORE BUT. GOD. LEON. ok so like....... long story short last year was when i first played resident evil........ bc we got a copy of re2remake in and.... jesus christ. i hyperfixated so fucking hard for the better part of a year going on into this year. and then i watched hl/vr and well. we know where that went. but now i am once again hyperfixated and now im back to where i was in like.... june of last year LMAO. but anyways i am once again going to ramble under the cut about them <3 (seriously. its very long and doesnt go much of anywhere. also spoilers)

tl/dr:

OK. SO. resident evil. the last time i answered this ask i either hadnt played some of them or just completely forgot the plot of others LOL but now upon beating/playing a large majority of them (besides 6 which i have not touched yet, and 7 is first person and im not rly interested in it rn)...... well others have said this as well but if you like cheesy b action movies you would love resident evil!!! 

the orig 1-2 are more survival horror which is what i like the most. 3 is where it starts branching into more actiony stuff but is still survival horror. but 4 and after is just like..... cheesy action stuff which is fine but not really like.... my thing. altho i do think that they are fun in a “this plot is hilariously bad” type way because i do enjoy horrible things. but people who like resident evil dont like it for the plot they like it for the characters. and for me i latched the fuck onto leon kennedy and tyrant t-00 aka mr fucking x

listen.......... you guys know me relatively well enough to know that i have a type......... and i would define leon as not really fitting under it usually because he is 1. under 6 foot 2. human and 3. very much not a villain. but something about (mostly remake) leon hits fucking different!!!!!! hes kind and means well, thinks about others constantly, looks like an actual fucking person in the in game graphics instead of being some manufactured perfect model, nice voice, etc....... i fucking care him so much. also gameplay wise i find his weapons to be more enjoyable than claires so i always end up playing his route/2nd route the most compared to hers. but i do also like claire :) shes nice and epic

i dont really like the newer leons (4 and afterwards) as much.... i mean a lot of it has to do with trauma and general “growing up” after what happened in re2 but hes just so constantly... snarky? jaded? constantly spouting lines to make him seem cool? when in my head hes very much like... a loser LMAO. i mean dont get me wrong hes a badass. he survives a fucking zombie outbreak and nearly gets murdered dozens of time. thats the definition of badass. but also you cannot change my mind that hes also a anxious loser twunk. there is literally nothing you can do to convince me he is “cool” like the games and movies want to think. this is probably heresy to re fans but this is my truth

https://youtu.be/aVZWuSfGStk?t=129

here is a vid of his cutscenes. obvious spoilers in there but you can skip around and see how cute he is. also yes in his first cutscene he is listening to butt rock. i switch between thinking hes just listening to it because nothing else is on the radio or his taste really is that terrible

also you literally CANNOT convince me that he is straight. the games try SOOOOO hard to get you to ship leon/ada or leon/claire but like...... i cannot see it. he has one of the gayest run animations i have ever seen in re2 remake and i mean... he just radiates gay trans man energy to me. also please look at this small scene from one of the animated movies where a licker jumps on top of him and he wraps his legs around its hips and lifts it off of him to not die. gay king

https://youtu.be/d-VNikxYBPw?t=9

but yes ive basically decided to ignore all characterization from re4 and onwards regarding leon at least. every leon after that is not my leon (except in special cases when im thinking about something like leon/jd from re damnation..... they did jd so dirty and they should have fucking kissed. or how cute he looked in vendetta sometimes)

ANYWAYS. MR X

so basically there are these enemies in resident evil called “tyrants” that are manufactured by the evil capitalist company umbrella that are near indestructible save for like.... rocket launchers or super heavy artillery that youre not buying at your local gun store. and in re2 one of them get sent to the police station where leon and claire are and is told to wipe out all witnesses. (i also do think that 2 or more were sent there... or at least in the area when this happened due to some very obvious plot hole stuff on each route no matter how you play, even tho the devs have come out and said that only 1 existed in the game and that each route is like “a parallel dimension” to each other. i wont go into it more than that but i choose to ignore that)

and well. when i first played it i knew of mr x but didnt like... know much about him other than that he was a monster and Tall (like 7 or 8 feet tall) and that he chased you around. that already sold me on him but then. well. you first encounter him because he lifts up an entire goddamn helicopter and then proceeds to chase you. and it was then that i knew i was in deep shit because he fucking stomped his way into my heart and never left.

mr x basically has serious Side Character Disorder where (even tho the remake made him very cool and epic and did him really well compared to nemesis in re3 remake which is an entire different can of worms) he has LITERALLY no personality or like. thoughts. or anything. hes only there to chase you around and be on screen for like 10 seconds for a couple of cutscenes and then not show up again until the very end of the game for you to fight on leons route. but god. he means so fucking much to me. 

you know how people latch onto random side characters that have no personality and essentially flesh them out more than the creators ever will? thats me with mr x. its gotten to the point where certain songs come on on my spotify and i actually get EMOTIONS or even TEARS because they remind me of him, but its not even really HIM, its the fucking ideas that ive come up with regarding him because all he ever does in game is chase you around and punch you and then die and is never brought up again

but anyways. mr x is a tall monster who chases leon and claire around in their routes but mr x is leons main monster in the game (claire has a different one). he chases leon around, literally never stops looking at him as he chases him, gets hit by an entire fucking car which then explodes BUT THEN chases him down into the sewers and into a secret underground lab just to get to him like a fucking bloodhound who, once he has the scent, will never stop chasing him

(you can see why this made me kind of insane)

just. AGHHH. the tyrants in this series get treated so dirty. i desperately want capcom to give us some sort of tyrant that can actually fucking like.... go against orders and brainwashing or whatever and actually have emotions and thoughts!!!!!!!!!! but capcom would never do anything with it cause its a rough and tough action series and people arent here to see tyrants have some sort of thought process beyond punching and killing and people only want to shoot guns at them instead of thinking about the possibilities of a tyrant that goes against its programming.

i so desperately want an au where mr x got the transmitter shot off of the side of his head (and while capcom never mentioned this ever many re2 fans have since decided that it is what feeds info/orders to him. i flip flop between thinking that it either is near controlling him and prevents free will and thought or that its just giving him orders and that hes just burying/hiding/not showing free will and thought in fear of being killed. either that or someone at umbrella is “piloting” him but also the whole point of tyrants is that theyre supposed to be smart enough to think for themselves somewhat so... eh). GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!

ive explained a bunch of this stuff in my other ask about it but just...... xleon means so much to me when it should not and will never be actually canon

anyways please play re2 remake at least, you dont have to know everything about re1 to like it, just go into it knowing that a few months ago in the mountains outside raccoon city claires brother chris and a few members on his team went to a mansion where they discovered umbrella doing shady zombie shit there. re2 remake was hyped up for years for a reason and it is really good, even if its short (altho i do appreciate short games in this day and age cause not every game needs to be like 60 plus hours long). 

maybe one day when its not late and i can actually think i will explain all this better but todays not that day <3

(EDIT: ALSO RE DAMNATION TYRANTS ARE 14 FEET TALL. AND CHASE AROUND LEON AND ACTUALLY FUCKING RUN. FUN FACT! anyways while i do think jd in that movie and leon should kiss i also want leon and a tyrant from that movie to kiss. bye)

[the-coolest-bean3]

My day at Pukkelpop 2019!!

(Idk if anyone actually thinks this is interesting but I haven't really processed everything that happened yesterday so I'm doing it anyway.)

So I went to Pukkelpop on sunday with my dad and the day started very rainy. Which made me really cold and annoyed ^^'

Here's a picture of me feeling like shit but wanting to look good for the picture. The first act we saw was this old punk band called Pennywise and I didn't know them at all (my dad did) so it was an interesting experience to see mosh pits and crowdsurfers for the first time. Also my dad fell on his knees and they still hurt...

I left early to go que for Girl in Red, even though I also wanted to que early for idkhow I took the chance. And I have no regrets, she started with my favourite song (Girls) and I went absolutely feral. I sang really loud and jumped and Marie kept saying stuff like 'my dudes' and 'my gays' which just made me intensely happy.

(This is a screenshot but in the actual clip you can hear me and several other gays scream the lyrics)

Sadly I left after 3 or 4 songs and I joined a few clikkies at the front of the IDKhow stage, also it's worth mentioning that at every performance I went (exept Billie) it was really easy to get to the front which really made this day a 100 times better. Dallon and Ryan were stunning and energetic as always and played some real bops and a song I hadnt heard before so idk what that was. Sad they didn't play the classics like modern day cain and boring but it's not their fault they only got an hour. This is the second time I've seen them this year and both times I lost the singing battle! Though this time I was on Dallons side so maybe I'm just not loud enough.Quick sitenote; they called themselves the cheapest band at the festival and Twenty one pilots' gay cousins which was pretty funny xD.

It dallon (btw I bought a merch from them at the merch stand, I actually wanted to buy a tøp hoodie but they were sold out unfortunately)

Then we had like 5 hours were we had nothing planned so we just walked around and ate some fries and out of boredom went to watch Billie Eillish. We did not easily get to the front though. Oh no, her fans are straight up savages. There was much pushing and other stuff and I heard later that some people fainted and some violence happened. So we went to the back but I still really enjoyed her music even though I just knew one song (wish you were gay). Also it was noticible how many hardcore fans were at the festival, for tøp, billie cavetown, which was pretty neat cause everyone sang the lyrics and you could have a good conversation with about anyone (if you're not as akward as me ^^').

(This was our view)

After a few hours of just doing nothing a dilemma struck. I could go to cavetown and be later then most tøp fans at queing or I could stand there and get a front row spot since that's the band I actually came for. I decided to go to cavetown and my dad would save me a spot since he's a big fan of the band before tøp. The cavetown concert was an absolute blast. I was there like an hour before it started and we were all sitting on the ground and about 30 minutes before it starts I look up and Robbie was on the frickin stage which just about gave me a heart attack cause most artists aren't on stage during sound check. Cause there were already a moderate amount of people he started interacting with us and partly played a few songs and he asked if we wanted to hear a new track he just made so I screamed yes and we made eye contact and I died. Then the actual thing started and he told us that this was his biggest festival crowd yet so he was a little nervous and the audience was so supportive even though he made a few little mistakes and everyone (including me) cheered so much and he constantly smiled at audience reactions which wad just so wholesome. Everyone knew the lyrics so it felt really unifying(idk if that's a word) and during boys will be bugs he told us to sing as loud as possible and we (I) did. Here's a clip of that ^^ ;

Also I may have cried during hug all your friends. The whole performance felt really personal and Robbie was so nice and so was the audience so I rate it 11/10 lemons (for some reason the ground smelled like lemons)

Then the build-op for tøp started, after cavetown I raced to the main stage where my dad was standing listening to an old punk band (Prophets of rage) which was very different from the sweet little cavetown crowd. There was lots of violent moshing and a lot of crowdsurfing and I was legitimately scared but at least I was in the front for tøp! When all the sweaty violent people left the waiting for tøp happend... which was still 75 minutes away.... while we were already walking and jumping all day... so that was fun. We stood in like row 6 and the clikkies around us were really nice so it could have been worse. Then THE moment happened, Josh walked on stage with his torch and Tyler came right after and I screamed so frikin hard and tried to jump a lot during jumpsuit but it was really closely packed. Then levitate happened and it was so great that everyone knew the lyrics so it was just some choir of rapping. I loved it. Then the popular songs happened and I kept on jumping and singing and last time I was at a tøp performance I was sitting at the sides and not standing near the front so I could litteraly not move when Tyler jumped into the crowd a fee meters away from me during morph. This guy that got me through so much was now right in front of me... it was so surreal. Later in morph Josh was with is drums in the crowd and was maybe even closer to us then Tyler was! I was truly amazed. Even on stage there was much crowd participation and they had so much energy it made me really happy.

(My view of tyler during morph)

During car radio I felt really united again cause everyone sang about something so relatable and of course screamed THAT line. Now that I think about it we screamed everything that was screamable, the jumsuit screams, that part in the hype, car radio. It was a lot of energy. Then the finale, the probably best part of the concert. Trees. The song itself, them climbing into the crowd again, the jumping and the confetti. It was just the best and I don't think I've ever been happier.

Then the firework happend and we strolled back to the hotel (a bit to fast in my opinion cause I wanted to gather confetti but my dad really wanted to leave)

This day was probably the best day of my life, music is so important to me and I got to see so many artists I love and be crazy about it with so many amazing people. My only complain is that it went by so fast the tøp performance felt like a few seconds of pure nostalgia and the entire day feels like an hour(probably the hour we had to wait between por and tøp). Congrats to anyone that actually made it through reading all my exited rambling ^^' you get a gold star or a balloon (your choice)

[troubleisfree]

this is going to be like a very long, detailed, and mostly my personal observations and notes. as it was my first time seeing neymar and the brazil nt in person, i want to remember everything i can while its still fresh. it was a very exciting and at the same time surreal experience because i see those people all the time on tv games and now there they were few feet away from me...

i took the photos and videos. i am usually pretty good at that but i guess the excitement got the better of me because they did not come out fabulous. tumblr is being stupid with not letting me upload more then one video in a post, and i wanted everything together, so i ended up putting them up on youtube.

the hotel 9/3/2018.

so first i went to the hotel (very close to where i live) on monday 9/3. as it was labor day, i was off work and at a bbq/pool party abt 10 miles from home for the day. brazil nt was scheduled to leave the hotel for their first training at 4pm so i left the party early and, after some traffic drama, made it to the hotel little after 3.40pm. there were not too many people so i had a decent view but i also moved around a bit. some of the support staff was coming out already. a few minutes later, firmino was the first i saw, he waved and went straight to the bus.

then a group of marquinhos, douglas costa, fabinho etc came out together. only marquinhos paid any attention to the fans, waving and smiling but didnt stop.

then another group, including casemiro.

then alisson came out. he was really sweet, smiled, stopped with the fans, signed stuff. interacted the most of anyone else with the fans. 

then another group - i think richarlison (idk him really), filipe luis, thiago silva. thiago was just as nice as alisson, stopped with the fans, signed stuff. he looked to me a bit shorter irl then on tv...

willian came out alone next.

at this point, it was almost 4pm, my excitement had totally built up and i was so anxious to see my boy ney. i started thinking that maybe he will get there separately cuz i hadnt seen coutinho and tite either. but there he was! coming out last with barely a minute to spare before 4pm (the timestamp on my photo is 3:58:59pm lol). he was the very last one to come out, chewing on something, with his typical swagger. he waved but didnt stop and the bus left as soon as he got on. he looked just as hot in person as on tv, the cameras dont lie lol. really handsome and very very sexy! i mean, i expected it, i have seen his photos lol but omg he looks so damn good you cant help those dirty thoughts! i felt like an absolute fangirl! this is neither here or there, but he looked to me a little bigger then i expected. just kinda...fuller?

i only took one photo of him cuz i wanted to look at him with my own eyes rather than thru the camera ;)

it was such an incredible experience seeing neymar and the rest of the guys in person so close that i was shaking after! like for real my hands were shaking, my legs were shaking. and i couldnt stop grinning for a good half an hour after. i went to the boardwalk to calm down a bit and just absorb the experience. people passing by probably thought im crazy or reading love letters on my phone or something cuz i just couldnt stop grinning but i didnt give a flying fuck what they were thinking - i had just seen neymar!

my notes and impressions:

1. OMFG I SAW NEYMAR FROM FEW FEET AWAY. just that, my brain was really way too frazzled to process any other impressions lol

the game 9/7/2018

so after some c. drama, despite my initial hopes, i had accepted that i am not going to go to the game. and then the day before i find out I AM GOING!!! i was so freaked out with excitement lol!!!

getting there was so frustrating! first i had forgot to charge my phone before leaving work so i only had like 30% which was nowhere near good enough for my plans of copious pics and vids. so i had to run into a bodega to buy a charger for the car. then for some complicated reason we had to leave from the ues and fucking DRIVE. crosstown. on a friday. at 6pm. straight thru freakin time square with its gazillion tourists. on top of rush hour. even though the schedule said 8pm, the tickets said the event starts at 7.30 and i wanted to be there early to see the warmups and at 7.02 we were still not even inside lincoln tunnel ffs! i was FUMING and ready to jump outta the car and start yelling at the other cars to get a goddamn fucking move on i got places to be people to see! just ugh. so frustrating. the only upside of taking so long to get to the stadium was that by the time we got there my phone was almost 100%...

anyway, finally at 7.25pm we got there and thru all the checks etc (my joke of a miniature purse was shown as an example to another girl with a slightly bigger purse and praised by security for being perfect size which pissed me off because of their dumbass rules it had is smaller then my regular WALLET ffs and it barely even fits my phone so in no way is it a ‘perfect size’ except maybe for dolls or tiny aliens. but they had the stupid clear bag / tiny purse rule in effect and all i cared at that point was getting in so whatever. still, fucking terrorists. obviously also for more important reasons than just being the cause of my having to have a tiny purse but yeah fucking terrorists). 

the stadium was buzzing already. apparently the 7.30 start was for the warmups so perfect for me. this was the view from our seats.

when we got to our seats, the usa team was out already. and the canarinho was interacting with fans. and then brazil came out. 

ney was warming up with coutinho

after stretches, he did some practice shooting. this one didnt go in.

after that the team went back inside and the canarinho came behind the barriers to interact with the fans (photo below especially taken for a.)

time for the teams to come out. for some reason the tunnel was on my side of the stadium but the benches were on the other side and they lined up there for the anthems. (again, for a.)

then the us anthem and, since we dont do things here on a small scale, the flag rolled out was the size of the whole stadium lol

in the first half neymar was playing in front of me. in the beginning of the game i took a few photos and then i stopped because i wanted to watch the game and see with my own eyes not concentrate on the phone... still, here they are

here is the penalty. i didnt catch it go in because i was looking at it happening rather then my phone. i also removed the sound cuz there was screaming when it went in lol. it was a VERY soft penalty btw...

my notes and impressions:

1. it was a friendly so not surprisingly, it was not an edge-of-your-seat game. still brazil dominated the crap out of the usa team. the difference in class and quality was glaringly obvious.

2. it was strange not supporting my country’s team. but only when i thought about it. otherwise my soccering heart belongs to brazil 100%, without a doubt.

3. watching a game live vs tv: both have pros and cons. again, after watching every week on tv, seeing these guys live in person is simply incredible. just absolutely surreal. like, they are moving, running, kicking right in front of you. you can hear the ball being kicked. feel the tension. see what they are doing without the ball. watch their interactions away from the camera. feel the power of the crowd. its just so much more immersive. at the same time, watching at home the curated game content is... convenient. you get closeups. you get facts from the commentators. your bathroom is nearby (i did carefully time my liquid intake that day to avoid venturing into stadium bathrooms and thank god it worked lol). so imo, watching a game on tv is not really that much worse then watching it live. i always felt like i am getting a completely filtered version on tv and it is filtered but it is not horrible. yes, you are missing out on stuff but its not a total loss.

4. the stadium was about 40% full, 32k of 82k capacity. but it felt more like 2/3, probably because on the other side many sections were not even open so most everyone attending was spread out in one long side and the two goal sides.

5. brazil fans were out strong! i’d say about 70% of the people were brazil fans, and of those about 90% had on brazil jerseys. yellow galore lol. the usa fans were constantly chanting but when the brazil fans decided to make the effort they drowned them out easily and completely!

6. the usa fans were in the section behind one of the goals. throughout most of the game i thought oh cute they are constantly singing their hearts out supporting their clearly outplayed loosing team. then they did iceland’s viking chant. yes, it is a cool chant but its iceland’s. idk why so many have been plagiarizing it! first portugal did it in the wc, then i saw another, and now the american outlaws (the usa ultras)... let iceland have its thing people. i did not appreciate it but no big deal. BUT then they did something that pissed me off - few minutes before neymar was substituted in the 80 min they chanted fuck neymar. i was not best pleased to say the least! lick sweaty balls jealous motherfuckers!

7. we did a wave that went around the stadium like 4 times!

8. there was a small group of 13-14yo girls right behind us that whenever ney touched the ball or looked our way screamed ‘neymaaaarrr, neymaaaaarrrrrrrr, vaiiiiiii, vai neymaaaaaaarrrrrrrr’. one girl in particular was especially shrill and vociferous in her dedication to ney. no sense of decorum whatsoever lol. my bf was smirking at me and was like why dont you go sit with them. i on the other hand was thinking that while i wouldnt go sit with them, if some of my tumblr girls were here.... well those girls wouldnt even know what hit them!

9. i would definitely go to a game again! 

10. while the seats we had were really good, i wish there was an option to be even closer and still see the whole pitch. then again, for me it would probably only qualify as ‘close enough’ if im allowed to run along the sidelines lol. but then i wont really be able to watch the game. (hey maybe i can hang from the skycam hahaaaa!). yes, i am a neymar fan but i am also a fan of the game so i want both. i did not have any input in the choice of these seats but i think it was a good trade off - the closest where you can both see the guys and actual game. if i have to pick the tickets for the next game (hopefully i will go again some time!), i would be tempted by the lower levels but the barriers are pretty high so... i would probably go for the same - second level first row.

11. there was a guy sitting next to me with his date and he was trying to be all knowledgeable and impress the girl but half the stuff he was telling her was wrong lol! he kept pointing to douglas costa and telling her its firmino. i was cracking myself up listening to him talk complete bullshit but with such grand authority about technical game stuff.

12. at some point a loose ball ended up into the stands, some guy caught it, and 2 min later security came to take it away from him :/ why not let the guy just keep the ball?!? stupid. if it was me, i’d have made a fuss, maybe pretended that it hit me in the face and threatened to sue the stadium cuz they have not ensured the spectators’ safety or some such crap lol. see if they dont let me keep it to avoid a lawsuit.

13. the canarinho (for a.) - he was really great! interacting with the fans, dancing, hugging fans. really a fantastic mascot and absolute joy to watch! during the halftime he was out on the pitch, doing keepie uppies (in those shoes too!!! showing his brazilianness lol), and kicking balls into the stands

14. i was totally impressed by neymar. it was just so obvious how good he is and no, not because i am biased, which i admittedly am. i expected him to be good, duh, but to see it so clearly was amazing. he is not a fluke, he is the real deal. he stands out among even such quality peers as the rest of brazil nt! just something in the way he interacts with the ball, the way he moves, ‘sees’ his teammates without looking, turns on a dime, does the unexpected. i dont think he ‘thinks’ or ‘calculates’ at all his moves or that it is just a lot of practice, i think it is pure instinct in the moment, i.e. phenomenal natural talent. even though this was not one of his greatest games for sure, he just looked... special and different from the rest. most of the brazil players were displaying their clearly high quality but there is just something unique in the way neymar plays. even if you dont know who he is, what teams are playing, anything at all, you’d still pick him out and know that there is something extraordinary about this guy. if you unfocus your eyes so you see just all same yellow shirt figures, you would still be able to pick out which one is neymar. he did a bit of his skills and tricks and of course i wished he had done more. what i took away from watching him play live was that, in this average game, he looked as good playing live as he has in the past when i have watched his great games on tv. i dont know why. but watching neymar play live was an experience of its own. it felt like his average ‘live’ performance is as good as his great ‘tv’. i cant even imagine what it would be like watching one of his great performances live. while i dont feel im loosing so much watching games on tv vs live as mentioned above, i definitely feel that watching neymar in particular play live is on another level and im missing out when i watch him on tv instead of live. he is absolutely worth the price of admission. i was so disappointed in him for his wc antics but thats in the past now, and i have been reminded how right it feels to be his fan, not just for the nice things he does for kids/charity, his fun personality (and lets not forget the good looks, and oh boy they are SO GOOD lol) but his undeniably outstanding talent on the pitch. his game is just incredible. i hope he keeps healthy. i hope he gets his temper under control not just for a few games but for good. and i pray he always has the freedom to shine like he rightfully can. i am rooting for him to get the appreciation and acknowledgement he deserves, unadulterated by behavioral issues or personal drama.

ok, imma stop now. this post is huge, even by my standards. 

[anarchistbitch]

HIIIIII I AM FINALLY FREE FROM THE HELL THAT WE REGULARLY REFER TO AS COLLEGE ALSO HAPPY PRIDE MONTH

briefly(3 weeks and 5 days to be precise) but anyway, im tired, there's one class that idk if im gonna fail but im just glad to be done with it for now

how have you been?? ive been thinking of talking to you for such a long while uuuggghhhh but n e ways, i hope youre doing great and send you tons and tons of hugs to make up for the time i've been gone

i'd tell you im gonna read the sxf manga rn but ive got so many things on my list and i havent progressed with any of them bc ive been gaming, there's kinnporsche, and cutie pie, and semantic error, an endless list of books, so many fics too, my three weeks and 5 days are not going to be enough for sure

yeah, s2 was way more messy, but well, it's fictional and enjoyable to watch, benedict i felt was 2 seconds away from jumping him but theyre cowards so i wasnt expecting it

did you end up finishing cbaw?? 👀 btw, im gonna watch fire island tonight bc of you reblogging so many things about it cause i hadnt heard of it at all

i havent read a single thing ugh, idk if i mentioned that i was reading vermillion bird but i havent even continued that one, even tho i watched the donghua and it was good as hell, at this point i wont even login to goodreads cause ill be too ashamed to see the 0/4

i didnt even know there was a semantic error novel lmao, i started the manhua and might watch the la soon but that might is quite stretched

i was reading the lady needs a break or something like that, ive seen so many variations of its english name, it's about this girl that has been reencarnated so many times, remembering every single life and is just done with life and wants to laze around but her plan keeps getting spoiled by her being unable to ignore situations that she sees as unfair or generally disagrees with as well as other plot reasons, i wouldnt say it's high literature or whatever but ive enjoyed reading it despite several moments where i just feel unimpressed lmao

smzs was fantastic, 100/10, so much fun :'3 i wanna watch it with my friends sometime soon but theyre still in classes so it's gonna have to wait

hearstopper ahhhh it was great and i cant wait to see what alice meant exactly with big asexual plans, need me that rep

did you hear about the bts hiatus-not-hiatus?? thoughts on that??? honestly i think they said it wasnt really a separation to bring down the chaos somewhat bc everyone was already crying their eyes out, i feel they went "sheesh" and backed up a bit lmao on a serious note tho im glad theyre taking a break, recently after the announcement i saw two reels that just made me get out of the saddened state, one was about how the op hoped somewhere in the multiverse jk got to live his childhood and the other one was that one time they realized they could go home directly after the shoot, they really have sacrificed so much of their time to this and it's heartbreaking bc yeh, it's their dream but it does not replace family and friends

also, i cant with the memes about joe biden being sold to bts, i think of them and laugh randomly through the day

and yes, i want to tattoo jin's speech in my forehead bc i need to remember it more often

FEVER BY ENHYPEN WAS A MOMENT, it's so fucking good, i think i said in my last ask but i really like their vampire/supernatural concept

i am eagerly awaiting holland's bl, idk what it's about but i hope it wrecks me

did you finish the god of highschool??? it's so fucking good and well, halfway through i BAWLED, damn i wanna rewatch it now, i LOVE the fight scenes and the op makes me wanna stand up and start kicking stuff

heavy by yonaka is so SEXY, makes me think of like a noir movie heroine

re:gooey by glass animal yeeeees indeed, it's just perfect for that, and i though more brownies buuuuuuuut chocolate deserts exactly 😌

sxf does not dissapoint EVER lmao, it's comedy gold and yeah, yuri pls chill, and the thing about anya's performance at school is just agh, cause, i dont remember if it's canon or if it was just an analysis i saw floating around on here, about her having lied about her age and it would add so much bc she's trying her best and i seriously understand trying your best and still not seeing the results you'd hope for and if she's younger then she's already doing so damn good for her age, not to mention that she was in a shitty af orphanage for who knows how long, i cant imagine she got good education there, so yeah it's comedy gold but it has so much heart, what a great show :'3

KJSDHJFSGJFG THE THING ABOUT MIKA SHOVING HIS FINGERS IN SOMEONE'S MOUTH SJHJSFHJFH THAT WAS SOMETHING OK BUT IM NOT GONNA SPOIL YOU BUT LIKE THAT WAS SOMETHING

ok i can be normal now(lie) djkfhjsdhfjd look, i, sdjkhsjfhd, it's something alright, and with context it's so fucking different but still kfhkdsf i cant wait for you to watch/read it, the manga has so many scenes that make me put my phone down to breathe and it's art style doesnt help, in the anime they look softer

and yes i think of you often <3 hope you're eating well and resting enough!

-M<3

i know ive done this many times, but id like to begin answering by apologizing for the delay[ik u said its okay but its fine if u were frustrated]

i really wish i couldve answered this a few weeks earlier because i wanted to wish you the happiest pride month with better months to come!! i hope it still holds true

BUT ALSO HELL YEAH WOOOO FREE FROM COLLEGEEEE!!!!

i do hope that class went well[on that note, smth similar happened to one of my subjects: long story short, it wasnt fine for a bit but now its fine-ish, if it was the same for u i hope it continues to be well and then better💗💗💗💗]

i have been well!!! ive been in good health but how have you been!!! i hope you see cats , and ice cream trucks/ or little convenience stores with reasonably priced ice creams and chocolates!!![if u hate both maybe drinks? u strike me as a fanta person] ive been thinking of ways to talk to u too!! but it istg tumblr has some agenda against me cause it glitches so weird!! truly home of phobia😔[NOW SEE,, if i posted this during pride month i couldve also landed a joke about "during pride month??". truly my own enemies art mine own actions]. i am hugging u rn so if you feel warm rn thats me!! and if u feel cold in ur hands thats me holding ur hand with my ice cold hands hehe[im distantly related to mbj. sorry🧊🧊<-ice demon emoji for hearts<3]

i have so much to get through and its very ❕❕❕❕❕[<-overwhleming] so im taking everything as slow as possible but i am watching a few things rn like cutie pie and sxf so i get u. but also do tell me ur thoughts on everything regardless!! i like knowing what u think!! [also on cutie pie: idk if u started but i did and i think its a pretty good show and i think u'd like it 🤗 ]

bro i totally thought that benedict was gonna join in and s2 would be those 3 navigating a queer poly relationship in s2 while dealing with societal rules and "decorum" as it was in the 1800s

i did not finish the cbaw kdrama[im kinda abandoning all the shows ive left in the middle and coming back to them fresh in a year or around that time ]

re: fire island. i aim to inspire😔

oh goodreads isnt even that social but boy does it bully you hfksjksf[changed my reading goal to 1 book and now im 1200% done<3<3 beat the system<3 or beat up the system<3]

by the sounds of it she needs a break sheesh. high literature is fake ,if its doesnt bring u joy in some sort of way approach it like a snake[with care and curiosity] and i will check it out[in the future!!]

ive rewatched smzs so many times it really doesnt get old🥰 hope u and ur friends get to see it while eating smth really good!![personal rec is soup cuz im a soup fanatic!][also teeny tiny story but i once watched a show when i was younger and very impressionable ,and one character mentioned hating soup and i was like "ykw i will also hate soup now" and i felt horrible for like a week after that cuz i love soup!! moral of the story: soup is about warmth and love and also a form of rebellion against the deep nihilism engraved in society]

whats ur favourite soup? mine is sweet corn soup cause i used to have it a lot as a kid! and rn i favour egg drop!

heartstopper ahhhh!! i wanna see what they meant by big asexual plans too!!

bts does need a hiatus just for like letting ppl get into the know about what all they done -bbmas, run bts, bon voyage, beyond the screen , in the soop, literally all the concerts, not including solo work and so much more . and its been 9 years since theyve debuted and like namjoon said its hard to improve or grow urself in a field of constant expectations, so if they go to paris or a museum im glad they want to share it as well yk?

writing this in small cause even though i mean this genuinely i also feel a bit cringe😭so like ik theyve sacrificed a lot , not a little ,a lot and even though theyve reached a level of success that is quite hard to achieve without real talent and a lot of support, i do wonder what wouldve happened in another world if they didnt decide to pursue their current career. and yk. i hope theyre happy in both. also i hope in another world we wouldve crossed paths a little closer, m.

hope joe robinette can finally pay those student loans😢 and gets to live his best reverse harem explicit lemon 100k wip wattpad fanfic<3

ooooh wait if i also tattoo it on my brain😳😳 we'll have matching tattoos😳

i dont follow enhypen but yes it was a MOMENT i remember the first time i heard fever i was like "waiiiiittt a sec"

NOTE: above image is supposed to represent my enthusiasm about the song and nothing else. thank u for ur time

wait didnt holland release a song for it!!! im listening to it rn and its a freaking bop!!!

i couldnt start the god of highschool (￣ ‘i ￣;) but bro . bro why did it make u cry. bro answer me [<- person who is even more motivated to start it once they have enough time]

oooh i do like noir movie heroine!! and also . thats kinda a spot on vibe??

dude i kinda made a mistake associating that song with brownies/desserts cuz now whenever i hear that song im hungryyyy

anya! is ! such ! a ! cool ! character! the thing is idk if shes actually younger than six but if she is then she is technically performing better than any average child at that age would be[when i was six we already started multiplication and also at six i had an impulse to lick window cause of hansel and gretel<3] and shes just so near and dear to my heart💗💗 and also theres this thing about loid being an exemplary spy , but still fatherhood being his toughest mission like iktr

mika shoving his fingers in someones mouth is a spoiler therefore implying major plot significance got ya😊👍🏾

i might actually read the manga before the anime cause im a sucker for cool art [love animation too but as i said , im kinning a snail for the next few months<3 ]

i think of u quite often and hope ur well safe and have lots of food!!!

a song rec: every pore by tamino

love, kit

idk if u wanted to know and i feel. a bit weird about sharing this at all but the main reason for not answering this in so long is cause im in a weird headspace. which haha i mean who isnt right? but a lot of things changed in two months and like i can feel im in that stage you are right before a huge burnout and im trying to not? burnout? and my support system rn isnt the best rn and yea. im doing less than ok but just above being crushed. hopefully it passes and also hope this never happens in mine or anyones life again lol

making u read that might have u bummed out but if u read that [firstly sorry] [and secondly just, thank u for sending that first ask at all<3][my good bitch what do you want for your birthday][i think of u everyday lol][and also these last few months ive learnt to say i love you more freely without it being some huge moment at all, so i'd like to say: i love you. i truly do. idc that we've never seen each other. if u ever feel lonely just know that im rooting for u forever][💗💗💗💗💗]

[diaryofsecrecy]

It has been the most exhausting year of my entire life and I will be surprised if I ever top it...

Brent was having a hard time adjusting to the altitude when we 1st came out here, (July 8th 2020) But as time went on he got better as expected. Then suddenly he got worse and worse, Eventually he lost the job that he got because he was calling out so often throwing up and experiencing extreme nausea.  Because of covid, the doctors were booked for weeks (new patient) so it was just kind of a waiting game until we finally decided to just go to the ER.  They did a full blood panel and decided that he needs to see a GI doctor because everything else is normal. So, That was booked 2 weeks out and he was sent home with nausea medication for one week...

Of course we were going to try to buy or rent so I was freaking out about money and working as much as I possibly could... But then I too had to go to the emergency Room because I had extreme abdominal pain resulting in an emergency appendectomy😖

The day after my surgery, I am home, when my dad comes in with my older sister.

To my knowledge, my older sister was diagnosed paranoid schizofrantic. She has been Homeless for the last 11 years,  And on drugs.  She recently was beaten so badly that she was left with several brain injuries on top of it all, And while she was healing at the hospital somehow they didn't notice her walk out.  We were just about to get her placed somewhere safe...And they lost her.

Anyhow dad walks in with my sister who I guess called him from a coffee shop when they told her that she couldn't sleep there anymore (after a month of being missing again) Dad had to go back to work so then it was me & her for the next 2 days, As you can imagine, not the rest I needed post surgery... then, I had to go back into the hospital because something wasn't right. I was there for 3 more days, 2 days alone because ben was so sick that it was worse with him being there than me sitting by myself in pain and nausea of my own.

Fast forward a few more months, tragic accidents led to 2 separate deaths of my parents dogs. Both events I happen to be present, so get blamed & am no longer welcome at mom & dads.

(Still healing from sugury, brent still very sick)

We get an apartment, and I start working as a nanny for my aunt twice a week while working at Massage Envy the other 5 days.

At this point, I am tired. I am horney, and lonely, and Absolutely. Fucking. Miserable.

I am begging ben to keep up with drs. but he has lost hope of getting better, and I have no way of helping him when I am already worn too thin.

After 9, Long, long months, he eventually, with my consistent pushing, nagging, most likely not always kind remarks, he finds out his hormones are completely off, which I knew would be the case, his dick hadnt worked for the last 3 years properly..

Anyway. He blames his addiction medication rather than continuing dr. Appointments... he gets on testosterone with an outside company(pay out of pocket kind of subscription company...rather than checking insurance, or figuring out what causes low testosterone and fixing that first). I was working and had no influence in any of those choices that effect us both as they have for at least 2 years. He hasnt touched me for so, so, long.

Month 3 of his medication that seems to be working (only reason I know is there was a ton of porn in my google history, he had declined all advances, except the rare, 3 times he allowed a blowjob then left immediately after for the gym or literally anything else rather than make it romantic at all.)

Month 4, he forgets to make a payment at all, so now we owe $250 rather than the normal $100. His meds get sent, then FedEx loses the package all together so, he is sick and I am house sitting in a dream home, alone for 2 weeks straight that originally was going to be our getaway to focus on Us.

At this point, brent and I havnt slept in the same bed for 2 months. At first cause he says I'm mean and he wants to not be near me, but now its cause hes "more comfortable out in the living room..."

A month ago when we last had a conversation about our relationship he said he wants space and a break from me all together. I'm too much.

I am the problem..?

When trying to understand what he means, he shuts down the connvo, saying he cant talk about it anymore. It's been 30 days since we have made any verbal progress. Our fighting has stopped though, and I'll tell you why...

Rewind 1 week before house sitting;

1 week after brent and I had an awful fight where he told me we should take a break, I stay at my parents & My mom offers for me to join them at a graduation party of a kid I used to babysit.

We were sitting in the back of the dining room, out of the way, when I saw someone i slightly recognized in the hallway. Not sure from where, but he was the kind of guy that you couldnt stop looking at. He was clearly into fitness, his shirt couldnt hide the muscular features he had been perfecting either, despite him dressing nothing out of the ordinary. He had beautiful ink crawling up his leg, an artform that would only mean something to someone who is more spiritually awake. But more noticable about anything was that smile.

God that smile. His face was scruffy, as if he had been away, but regardless, the smile he had influenced his entire ora. His eyes smiled, his walk... smiled. He had some kind of thing about him that was a physical draw I had never known for myself before. Dont get me wrong, i have been woo'd by many men so far in my life, from all stages in life, but This one was just, different. He was making his way around the room, & I could hear his voice over my mom who's talking beside me. I had literally been blocked out by my ever wondering thoughts of this random stranger whom felt familiar.

Then, he was there, at our table?

He was so easy to talk to, not even sure how we started now, but all I know is I was not nervous despite my very physical attraction to him.

He spoke of traveling, and adventures hes been on. This guy had a whole other life in the military at one point and now was traveling, working for a company that sends him around the US.

This guy had Hope's and dreams and somehow we got to talking about that kind of thing at a graduation party?

When I left that day, I thought about him. Not just him specifically, but men like him. Had I chosen Brent wrongfully? Does brent even like who I am anymore, what does he want going forward in his own life? How do I even fit into that? He understands my need for adventure but his actions say that he doesnt want to come along. My mind was loopy after that because for the first real time I questioned, what if there was someone who wanted to see the world,  Who liked my sad music, and my emotions being in everything I do? What if there was a women more interested in the simple home life, having a couple dogs and living a small, comfortable life? Are we doing one another a disservice by occupying oneanother's lives? How could I ever bring that up with Brent at all without making him feel so inadiquite after a year of terrible sickness and defeat?

Well, when I went to that big, gorgeous dream home the following week to house sit for 2 weeks... begging him to come see me, I grew weak from overthinking. I cried, I cried so much the first 3 days.

I cried from a place of such sadness, anger, bitterness, defeat, they were so strong. My mind was cloudy, drunk, stoned, tired.... I found myself writing a suicide letter.

My plan was to disappear, I knew I'd find a firearm in the home & allow someone to find my remains eventually in the hills where I'd walk far enough.

I prepared by cleaning the litterbox, laying out several bowls of water for the dog and cat, and watered all the plants heavily. I transfered brent all the money in my bank accounts, and as I waited for the sheets to come out of the dryer I balled my eyes out, reading the last conversations I had had with my family members. I thought to myself how the kids would take it, what different life choices they would make having been close with someone before their passing. At this point, I needed something, but I needed it from someone who doesnt know me in my life right now, but the me that was worth saving. The me I still recognized.

I called an old friend from 2nd grade. Hadnt talked to her in years and years, didnt known her life, her schedual, her name(which had been changed). But she talked me down. She saved my fucking life. It took a person who knew my soul years ago, to remind me I am not alone.

I dont blame my parents, or who I thought would be my future husband. I had talked with my aunt earlier that day and she couldnt see it either. I had become this fake shell of a person and it took considering an actual murder of myself to make me see that if I continued this path, I would die eventually and nobody in my life would ever see me preparing for it.

That night, I invited a complete stranger over and we fucked like rabbits. 4 times. He got to do things he'd never done before, and I begged him to. Sounds cold, sounds unapologetically disgusting that I'd do something like that, but quite frankly, I FUCKING needed it. I needed someone to see me, even if he didnt see my current life nor care about me as a person... he saw, touched, kissed, sucked and ate me up. For the first time in at least 2 years, i felt satisfaction when I walked him to the door and watched his car drive away.

It was like a sigh of relief, an inch I could not reach for the longest time, gone. Finally.

The following days, brent began putting in more effort. It has been 3 weeks and I'd say he has been kinder to me than he had in a while (probably the lack of testosterone) but also, I havnt seen much of him in general. From his point of view, it is all fine. Hes getting the space he needed, I'm being nicer since I quit massage Envy, and things are looking up....

But that is because he doesnt See Me.

My suisidal thoughts subsided after my long conversation with Scout. & that night I called my cousin as well, and learned he too had been in my shoes before. He said something that stuck with me.

If everyone has an expiration date on their life already, and we don't know when it is, you're to the point that you're life is so invaluable that youd kill yourself than flee your life and make one you want. Dont care about the people youd hurt, because suicide is just as careless as abandoning them all indefinitely.

He was so right, it put things into perspective, gave me a freedom I felt I was waiting to gain permission for.

Five days later, I noticed He had written me 5 before, on the day I had truly planned to end my current life..

He had written me at 12am, what would someone like him, a gorgeous, beefed out, big thinker, high energy, go getter be doing messaging me, a tired women who was 300lbs a year ago, (still working on getting to a normal size) and completely at a crossroads with existance.

I entertained the connvo a tad, and honestly forgot about it for a few days as I figured no way he could be serious.

He triple messaged me, and asked for my personal contact info to have real conversation?

Hesitantly, and wildly excited to even just flirt for a moment with someone who is literally everything I fantasize when I'm alone everynight....

Our conversation immediately took off. In directions I hadnt expected at all what so ever. He told me he had to admit he felt drawn to me, like he had known me in another life. That he doesnt expect me to get it, but I did. We talked about things that only my sister and I can relate to on a spirituality standard and it changed me in that instant. Suddenly i realize, I wasn't broken, I was just misunderstood. & that there are people in this world that See Me even when I am not trying. Not many, and it takes a specific Kind of person, but they do exist and when you meet them, you cant ignore it. It is as if they stain you with remembrance.

As the sexually hungry humans we are, not only did we find that morality, values, future goals coexist, but also our importance of intimacy. Not just lust and sex, well, yes that too, uff did those conversations get so, fucking, hot, but the interactions of intimacy and how they make a person whole.

I opened up to him about Brent, and where I am at in life, asking he please oversee my unfaithfulness, but that I am loyal at heart. He says with such pain in his voice how he too in a parallel position simultaneously, however, he married her 7 years ago.

Ugh.

So now I get to choose. Do I chose mortality, say no, brent and the other women deserve to understand the severity of sex, love and passion, and if they chose not to then we will leave before we act on our mutual attraction....? Or, do we say hell with it and give in to serendipity moments that our hearts crave so badly, take on the consequences and move forward. Sigh. If only there was a guideline for complicated.

Last night, as the 5 nights before, we talked for hours on the phone. His voice makes me smile every, damn, time. Perhaps because it's new and exciting, or maybe I just love to hear him go on his tangents of loving yourself despite the bad in life. I Want him. I want him when I wake, &when I go to sleep. I do not want a life without him& it saddens me to know our timing is incorrect. He asked her for a divorce a year ago, but has sat comfortably as I have despite the horror because weve both been too busy, too tired, too... afraid that life will always be lonely. Last night, he said to me, Elise, I love you. I avoided it several times but when he said it two more times, I couldnt keep it any longer to myself, Jackson, I really do Love you as well. It's scary, and faster than I'd ever say it to anyone. But I know it to be true because I Feel it. I want his love so badly. I want him to live life along side of me because with a person like him, I'd be a better me.

I am absolutely terrified. My life, my home, my family, dogs, my 5 year relationship, the unborn children brent and I have named, and the houses we'd have... all gone?

Running away with a man who says hes going to leave his wife is absolutely stupid. I'd be an idiot to think I am enough to get him through that fear of change, yet he gives me strength to want to try, so maybe I do, Him?

Ugh my brain being pulled in many ways. My heart having been in pieces so many times now doesnt know who to go to or why. I know for certain I love Brent, is this a self gratifying moment To push me back to him? Is this the devil bringing two lost people together to ruin four people at once?or is this Fate. Fate that has seen both of us individually loosing ourselves in a life we didnt want and has brought us together to lean on one another, temporarily not?

Suppose time will tell.

Last two days he has been working a ton, and told me that tomorrow he has something he needs to talk to me about.

I assume it isnt good. I assume it is the first put off of many, because, I know I want to do the same. Part of me says I should block him right now, because lust, and attraction, both mentally and physically like that couldnt make a women addicted and that's a no good addiction when he has a women in his house with his last name. 😔

[motherofkittens94]

tagged by @greyjoysea and @staryjoy 

GOT PREFERENCES

Do you watch the episodes when they air? usually not being a brit who doesnt have hbo  i watch like a day or two later when it airs on sky Atlantic  or on now  tv the first three i watched on dvd from a friend who had the boxset it was when we were sharing a house walked in  the logue one  Morning and she watching it and its that bit where the mountain cuts off the horses head and im like what the hell are you watching ?? i just woke up i wasnt expecting violence this early in the morning ? and then sat down and watched it with her and im like and watched the whole rest of season   one and im like what the hell is this show  ??  ....is there more ?? btw my brother said he got half way through season one and said it  was boring im like season ones the best ?? and hes like oh i dont enjoy  historical drama im not interested in medieval history and im like face palm he thinks this is historical and he also doesnt like history wtf i mean  how am  i related to this fool but yeah thats tangent  and i told him get to ep nine so he could see ned stark beheading he said maybe but if i agreed to watch stranger things with him lol :/ 

How often do you rewatch it? Do you rewatch it from season one? ive re watched all the way  it through a few times but usually would only watch my fav episodes ive seen the red wedding so many times though because wed always watch it with some friend whos just getting into and hasnt seen that one yet so we can see their reaction 

Do you rewatch the previous episode before the next one airs? Not usually on each  occasion but my aunt and uncle always do so when i watch with them i do  

Do you eat anything while watching? if so, what do you eat? not usually a proper meal but  i might have snack like crisps or popcorn unless its a glory scene 

One character that everyone seems to like that you don’t care much for hmm cersei ?? and i didnt lime petyr baelish much but he seemed popular at least among my friends  but i do agree he shouldnt had a better death scene they took all the cleverness out of him and though i hadnt liked him it was a shame in a way like the couldnt find way him to go down in a clever interesyting way so they had to dumb him right down  book pb wouldnt get caught like that people like show euron apparently me  hmm not show much to put it nicely also ave mixed feelings about stannis book book and show wise and i like jon but hes not the ultimate  hyped favourite like he is with a lot of people and perfer theon to him tbh 

Your 3 favourite pairings Throbb theonsa jon ygritte jaime brienne thats four but theres two theons so 

Favourite scene: robb getting crowded any scene where theon smiles  theons monologue  theon and sansa hug jon and sansa arya sansa hug jon and ygritte kissing on the wall jaime jumping to save brienne theons speeches both tyrions speeches both but the one in season one was really funny tyrion dragging the chair across the room when everyone is is science idk that cracked  me up bronn duelling for tyrion the one where Catelyn announces to everyone that (she thinks)  tyrion tried to kill bran cause that was the first ep id seen thats the bit that got me hooked  theon getting back up and fighting that ironborn guy pdrick saving tyrion  and i still maintain that viserys had the best death also not to be a basic bitch but that first time dany does her fire thing in season one i was #stunned 

One character you wish got more appreciation: theon duh #nomoredickjokes2018 but also meera and jojen too i suppose  and shireen and sansa and they could've (shouldve) done more with myrcella and tommen   and brienne too was underused and gendry also idk if if i like the way the tried to iron the grey parts out of tyrion and jon  and bran i wish they done brans story better and wed have got that tree scene with theon also as a disabled gal  certain comments some people make about uselessness of bran sometimes make me uncomfy tbh 

Fanfic or nah? i usually only read theon based ones and thats usually just theon robb theon sansa or sometimes theon jeyne p cause i cant do bolton heavy stuff im a whimp  but i read the occasion jon / ygritte or jaime / brienne and once i tried theon jon  but i wasnt sold soz :/ i read theon ygritte once as well  that actualy worked surprising well and theon domeric .. aha  thats mine  and @blueagia s baby  

but i guess id be open to others maybe 

Favourite quote:  from just the show ?  meeras some people will always need help that doesnt mean theyre not worth helping  also tyrions death is so final but life is full of possibilities and   mind needs books as a sword needs a whetstone if it is to keep its edge. That's why I read so much Jon Snow also sansas not a killer .. not yet anyway sansa - or maybe hell give me yours theons sy he is is theon greyjoy again also i like that quote about theons smile but obvi thats not in the show bronns this is bronn son of .. you wouldnt know him  just because it was funny 

Do you avoid spoilers? :  i do because im a blabber if i know id tell everyone omg this happens and that - i dont do on purpose really not with the intention of spoiling it for people  i just blurt it out like  i ruined he Rains of Castamere for someone once by saying oh is this one where robb dies ? and i didnt realise she hadnt seen it  yet and shes like robb dies :( :( and im  like oh umm i meant ...  rob - ert baratheon obviously ! haha whoops and i told someone else about jofferys death because shed said she seen it all  but she said later  i wish joffrey would die and  i was lil tipsey then so im like  .. but he does die ? youve seen it right? in season 4 ? hes poisoned ?  at his wedding ? to Margaery?? and shes like ....thanks beth ..... turns outs shed only  seen season 1-3 whoops again but hey i was drunk  that time so i  now avoid spoilers to avoid spoiling people and when i read the books my then housemates told me not to tell them what was different in case they wanted to read the books later on and didnt want me to spill and i did try to keep to it but i blabbed a few things tbh 

Favourite house words: We do not sow greyjoys ftw 

One character you’d bring back from the dead: ygritte shireen  robb maybe catelyn  and hoder !!

One character you’d kill, or kill sooner than they were killed balon greyjoy also ramsay but i wouldve done  it differently and theon shouldve been there or at least known about it also randyll tarly like fuck that guy ive seen people defending him and im like no offense but you are serious me and a friend had a bet on the boltons i bet against roose dying and he bet against ramsay dying we both lost lmao 

Direwolves or dragons? Dragons 

Which was more satisfying: Ramsay dying or Joffrey dying? hmm i actually joffrey probably because it was more unexpected i didnt see it coming i didnt think hed die  -i wanted ramsay to die and i wanted to like ramsay dying  and wished i had liked it more but it wasnt  done  the way i wanted it and it seemed so obvious like it wasnt a shock like joffrey dying was  i think in a way they over did ramster and just ran out f things fro him to do that he hadnt already like i was like hmm sewating nevously what can we do now ...err  kill your dad! kill a baby! kill  a stark  kill .. jon snow ...??  aye fuck it get rid of guy ay 

 i liked season six   better than season 7 or 5 but it made me lol in a way cause it seemed like they went ok ok you didnt like it last time when we killed all the women we heard you! we did ! weve changed things yes  so how about this instead ...   the woman kill everyone ! yea ? you like that ? we good now ?  sweet as ! put more women killing eveyone into season 7 dave we on the money 

Wildlings or the dothraki? Wildlings

Favourite lannister?  Tyrion but jaimes growing on me 

Favourite stark? i think sansa tbh 

Would you rather be able to be resurrected anytime, but gain scars and all like Beric, or become a faceless man? Resurrect any time like Beric

Would you rather have the rebellion tv show or the conquest tv show?  id pefer Rebellion but id watch a conquest show i think 

tagging @saltwaterwoods @whiteladyofrohann  @unamatta  @wedonnotcare @faller1344 @starkrysis @iladylittlefinger if you want to :) 

[exotahu]

The Bronycon 2017 big text post!

This is the longest thing I ever write but here is my of the 2017 Bronycon.

Lets get to it. 

Thursday:

We met at Bill's house so we could travel down in two groups, since we had too many people to fit in one car. (8 of us, Me, Andrew, Justin and Ethan in one car, Kyle, Bill, Nick and Josh in another.) We managed to pretty much stay together and stopped at the same gas station together. It was the good-hot dog speedway. They only had two left and everyone looked at me like I was crazy for wanting gas station hot dogs. I ate those two and asked if they had any more. They totally did. I intended to eat a couple more but NOPE. Everybody else decided to try the gas station hotdogs and doubled up. Oh well, it was kinda funny. The next stop was Baltimore. There was crazy construction in the city, atleast around our hotel. Slowed us down a bit. Justin really had to use the bathroom, so he jumped out of the car in still traffic and went into a nearby subway rather than waiting until we got to the hotel. As soon as he did, traffic moved, like we thought it would. It was easy to direct him from there to the hotel though. They had the special keys, but there wasn't a wifi password this year. I'm a Marriott member so I got free wifi anyway though. We hung around for a bit and went to get our badges. Went pretty quick for us basic pass holders, only like 45 minutes. Not bad at all. Deposited our con things at the hotel. Went to Dick's Last Resort. Nick decided he wanted to arm wrestle me for some reason. I won. Of course the waiter saw this so he challenged me. I lost pretty quick, he was large. Might have been better had I not planted my elbow on the goddamn laminated menu, but what can you do? The funniest part was when he brought our drinks, he brought one. Left the others at the station thingy. I got up and got just mine. Then everyone else slowly did it. It was funny. Managed to place a Pokemon on the gym there too. Didn't last that long but was nice anyway. Then we went to Fells Point. Everybody went to a ramen shop but I decided to go to the bar trot early. I was the only one to actually sign up for it in our group. The original company running the bar trot apparently closed. I didn't know there wasn't to be one until a month before, and then I noticed a new company doing it but it was definitely very last minute for them. There were only two bars participating, neither of them being the admiral, which seemed kinda lame. However the Admiral, being awesome as it as, participated ANYWAY. They had the themed drink including the Great and Powerful Trixie. Drank a fuckton of it. They also had a Pinkie Pie and Applejack themed drink that I saw. Then the bartender made a Rainbow Dash drink by combining them all. It was fuckin' awesome. We then went to the Soundgarden because apparently it's just right there and back to the hotel for bed.

 Friday:

 I got up relatively early, think I actually got almost 8 hours of sleep. Decided to bring my bad Derpy cosplay. Product of a 3$ costume store clearance wing/ear/tail set and a shirt photo transfer. I actually went to opening ceremonies because A. I woke up for it on time, B. I didn't want to just book it to the vendor hall.  It was neat, maybe I'll try to do opening ceremonies again. After that, I got to meet up with a group of people from a Scisetdaily (a really cute Sciset tumblr askblog thingy) discord server I joined, which was really cool. We hung out and ate some con food before we split off to do other things. I went to the vendor hall at this point and wandered. Bought one of the cool engraved lighters. It has Princess Luna on it. I also got some 4de plushies (Specifically Fluttershy and Trixie), a fantastic JoJo shirt and some a couple Cutie Corral plushies. Specifically the comic universe reverse world princesses. Apparently its their last year doing cons : (. Comics hadn't been set up yet so I held off on that. Then I bought an absolutely adorable Derpy playmat. Also I got to see something neat. The MyLittleTies booth had A VR demo for the occulus rift where you could wander around Ponyville. It was really cool, even though I had to take my glasses off I could still see well enough for it to be cool. And yes I totally want an occulus rift for this reason.... Sad my computer won't support it. It was sort of disorienting, but I'm sure if I used VR more, I'd get used to it. After this I went to the hotel and deposited my things and headed to the Fursuit photoshoot with a couple friends. Next was the CMC VA panel which was cool. I like the VA panels. I kinda just wandered around again after that before going back to the main hall. I was going to watch the comic creators panel, but the adjacent room had a tesla coil set up and i really wanted to watch them go. Ultimately ended up watching the tesla coils go cause I needed to charge my phone and that is where an outlet was. Caught the end of the comic panel though. I hate when two panels I want to see conflict. Ate some more con food and did a bunch of wandering. Went back to the hotel and switched to a normal shirt and prepped for bronypalooza. Hung out in the other room and played some splatoon2. Really wanted to see Vylet. His set was fuckin awesome. Other acts were really cool too. A lot more electronic music than usual for that early in the night. Then I did something different. Rather than stay at the palooza, I met up with everyone and went to the Anthology 6 panel. Fuckin hysterical. Everyone else went back to the hotel and I went back to the palooza to catch Silva Hound's set. Then went back to the hotel and went to sleep.

 Saturday: Decided last minute to bring my Chrysalis cosplay. Ran into the guy I met at an Otakon a few years back, which was cool. I went to the vendor hall first. The comic booth had a box of variant covers for 5$ each. I dropped 60$ on comics. Then I found a Madoka playmat. I also got Bill to grab a movie playmat for me when they went to the vendor hall day 1. I got like 3 mats. I mostly just wandered and observed. Saw a dakimakura that was real funny bud I didn't want to drop 100 at that time. It was a cartoon-y chrysalis laying on a fuzzy pink background and that fuzzy pink background was Fluffllepuff. Next I got to meet up with the cool people from the internet again and we went to the Kelly Sheridan and Kyle Rideout panel as one big group. I thought of a q&a question but by that point the line was to infinity and I knew there was no way, perhaps another time. Once that ended I grabbed some food and went to the crystal arena. Bill and Josh wanted to see how the game had changed and see what the game was like now. They were running a novice tournament that was 10$ you got a deck to play with and two packs and at the end. It was neat learning the game again. It sounds like it really became good. They streamlined it a lot. Went to another fursuit photoshoot. Then we went back and got ready for palooza. I stayed the entire time this time. Really liked Michelle Creber and BlackGryph0n’s set. Chilled out and sat for one of the acts with Andrew and Ethan, needed to save my legs which were super sore. It was fantastic. Got to see Garnika, he's probably my favorite of all the regular artists there. I bought one of his shirts. Although I heard this might have been his last Bronycon? Infinite sadness if thats true. This is about when Kyle and Josh showed up. I also got a message that the fire alarm went off at the hotel. Everybody there had a clusterfuck, Justin slept through it. Turns out someone was vaping or smoking or some nonsense. then Andrew and Ethan returned in time for the end of Garnika's set and Alex S. Was a great time.

 Sunday: Waking up was a bit rough since I hadnt gotten to bed until like 330-4. I wanted to go the VA panel but it was at 10 am (Goddamn who DOES that) but I was way to tired to get out of bed on time. I caught the end of it though! Then I went to the vendor hall. I was trying to avoid buying prints, but guess what. Bought so many goddamn prints. Again. Fuck. Oh well. I've tetris'd my walls before and I can totes do it again. Was trying to buy other neat things. I did too. I got a lazer etched geode slice and an edge lit acrylic pane. I really just hung out in the vendor hall with various people and looked at things. Also Nick got me a commission from an artist named Baron Engle. It's Lapis and Peridot as ponies in his style. Really fucking cool. Also bought another glass. Fluttershy this time. Was hoping one of the bands was gonna be at the Bronypalooza table but they weren't. Also had a print ordered to be shipped to me cause one of the print places printer broke. (There are certain booths that will sell art on behalf of the artists that can't be there.) Also bought a little digital nametag thing. It's pretty cool. I gotta get a cord to hook it up to the computer though. Wandered the con a little bit then deposited stuff at the hotel. We went to closing ceremonies after that. Ran into Garnika on the way there which was neat. Before it started we were playing music and everyone was just kinda goofing around. Closing ceremonies were cool. They said they were short 219 from their 33000 charity goal. So they asked the crowd if they could do that and SO MANY people got up to give them money (myself included). Turns out they made like 1200 $ They were then 10 short from 34k, and someone gave them 10$ We got our annual group photo and then headed to the Inner Harbor for some food and to play some Pokemon Go. Went to Bubba Gump's Shrimp Co. Place remains to be fucking fanstastic. Shrimpers Heaven is the best. While we waited for a table we managed to find a whole bunch of cool pokemon, Even did a Machamp raid. Found a fuckin Sandshew, Totodile and Mantine as well. Those are all things I've never seen around here ever. The Bronycon gym was blue so we couldn't do it yet decided to try later. I also evolved my first Gyrados. I decided to do it down there because that's where I essentially started my game. Went around an played some more Pokemon after dinner. The bronycon gym had changed but unfortunately the game broke real hard, we managed to get it down after a half hour of error-ing out a game crashes. Then we should have had it but it turned yellow in the clusterfuck. And no one had it in them to stand there for another half hour of broken game to beat one Blissey. We went back the next day but it had once again turned blue so we never got on it. Then we all went back to the hotel and watched the newest Rick and Morty while packing. Got our shit together and slept.

 Monday: We got up and hung out before loading vehicles. Checkout and hotel exiting was pretty easy. Decided to hang around in the inner harbor for a bit. Got lunch at an Irish pub in the pavilion. Yay for pub burgers and vodka cranberries! Then went to do a raid. A bunch of us went to get ice cream, but I went to the bigass Barnes and Noble instead. I had been looking for the Daring Do books at the con but no one had them. Barnes and Noble had one of the ones I was missing. After all that we walked back and headed out. We tried to stay together but traffic was nonsensical so it was hard. Unfortunately a rock flew up and cracked Kyle's windshield. Minor but still annoying. We  met up one last time in Wilkes-Barre at a Sheetz. I got some 2 for a dollar hot dogs and they were not good. After hanging out some they left about 15 minutes before us. We thought it'd be funny if we managed to pass them since they had such a ridiculously long head start and guess what? We totally did. It was funny. Got home after that.

 Overall:

             It was a good fucking time. Usually is. Bought some neat stuff. Got to meet some cool people from the internet. (Honestly, if any of y'all are reading this, even though it wasn't for that long at any given point you were all cool to meet and hang out with. I hope we get to again sometime.) It's honestly been a while since I've done that. It's funny, despite having done this the last 5 years, I don't feel at all burned out. Though next year, I think I'm going to do something different for my usual con photography. I'm going to shoot everything in black and white. (I accidentally left my camera in black and white mode for my first shot) I want to see how that makes things different.  

 (Also as always my memory is pretty butthole, and I essentially wrote this twice, so there might be errors and things I missed or got in the wrong order.)