#Anubis does not have a jackal head he just wears one to parties

[theunvanquishedzims]

Okay, I'm making mummies the new monster du jour

We all know the story: daring adventurer and nerdy historian discover hidden treasure in a tomb, and just need to survive the undead and their curses long enough to douse themselves in holy water or whatever to sally off into the sunset with their bags of gold and live happily ever after.

What about the mummy's side?

You're dead. You've been dead for millennia, had your organs removed and rites read, been embalmed and dressed and laid to rest amid vast and well-appointed rooms chock-full of wealth. You strode into the afterlife like the king that you are, and have been reigning ever since. The river flows with milk and honey, eternal virgins attend your every physical desire, and your generosity knows no bounds as you shower endless wealth upon your adoring people.

And then...it stops. The river dries up, sour milk rotting in rivulets across the sticky bedrock. The maidens have vanished one by one, carried off by callous, disrespectful hands. The gold that once towered in piles around your palace disappeared much more quickly, not a single coin or ingot left. And your people turn on you. Not in anger, but in fear, hands clawing you, gaping mouths screaming soundlessly, bodies flattening and fading like living murals.

Anubis snatches you out of the waking nightmare, to something much worse: judgement. What? You have been judged already! Your heart weighed against a feather, the wisdom and love you so carefully curated in life keeping it light enough to guarantee your safe passage into an eternal paradise.

Except not so eternal, it seems. Robbers, he tells you. You cannot believe it. Even the bravest, most brazen, most despicably faithless dogs would not disturb your rest. Raid your tomb, yes, take your finery, yes, strip your body of its ornaments and peel the gold off the sarcophagus, perhaps, but not you. Your body in its wrappings, your organs in their jars, should be left alone. They could dump your empty bones on the floor of the pyramid and walk away with every material possession your people saw fit to entomb you with, but nothing of consequence would be taken from you in the afterlife.

They have not just taken your possessions, says Anubis. They have taken you.

Taken the sarcophagus? Surely they would remove your body to lighten the load--

They have taken you, he says.

Removed me to some lesser grave, to set up some new king in a glorious pyramid he himself could not afford to build? Tacky, and rude, but it has been done before--

They have taken you, he stresses again.

...have I fallen so far out of favor with my people, with Egypt herself, that they would strip me of my title and my rest?

Your god crouches, and looks you gently in the eyes, and says again, They have taken you.

And then he adds: You have ten days to return.

And you awake on a boat, a horrific thing of metal and smoke, surrounded by treasures packed in wooden crates and straw, admired by an endless parade of foreigners who ooh and ahh over your dead body and do not, cannot understand what they are costing you, making you their macabre trophy of the dullest hunt you can imagine.

You will teach them what a real hunt is.

(The rest of the movie is a timed horror-thriller as the hero, trapped in his own desiccated corpse, shambles around London trying to find his heart and return to Egypt, while attacked on all sides by monster hunters and grave robbers who don't understand that they're the bad guys. It is an epic struggle to stay the course and not fall into a vengeful frenzy, to keep his heart pure enough to pass the feather again, to FIND his heart in the first place.)

[hysydney]

Now you see it, now you see it again Pt 15:  silk screen

Phryne’s blouses reflect the explosion of colour and patterning that typified the 1920s with its art deco, geometric designs, and eastern and Egyptian influences. 

One of these blouses  has a cowl neck, the silk draped in soft folds at the front, petal sleeves, a set in waistband and intricate buttoning to the V-shaped back. The fabric’s pattern of olive and dark green-greys resembles polished jade or perhaps Egyptian debens, weights.

It first appears in Blood and Circuses. Phryne, Dot and Jane are clustered around the kitchen table, tasting the contents of a saucepan. There is harmony of colour both inside and out into the courtyard with gentle pinks, peaches , beige and creams, greens and khakis. It is a simple scene of domestic felicity.

The change of mood is sudden as Mr B announces the arrival of a visitor. Domestic delight is shattered immediately and a sombreness descends on the scene.

Mr B: Mr Samson to see you, Miss Fisher, from the circus.... Oh. Should I suggest he call another time? 

Phryne: No, no, I'll see him. 

Dot: Who is he? 

Phryne: He's... ..someone I knew a long time ago.

It is not the visitor himself who engenders alarm, as Samson is as gentle as he is gigantic, as mild as he is massive.

Samson’s presence evokes memories of things past for Phryne.  Of circuses and her sister, the ever-present sense of loss, of guilt, of desire to know what happened.  The earlier scene in the kitchen reflects Phryne’s happy memories of being with her sister at the circus before she disappeared, both colours and composition - Jane and Janey’s ribboned plaits, the sepia tones.

The conversation with Samson and his request for Phryne to assist with an investigation of a suspicious death at the circus, takes them first to the veranda of Wardlow where a bunch of lavender complements Phryne’s dark purple suit jacket worn over the blouse ...

Sam: But I hear you're in the business of solving crimes. 

Phryne: I'd like to help you, Samson, but I can't. I can't go back there.

Then to City South to engage Jack’s help on a case that Phryne does not believe she can take on.  This time the coat has matching hat and feather trim.

Jack remains to be convinced of the need for his interference, having already assigned the case to the ghastly Snr Sgt Grossmith.  

But wait! Could Jack’s tie be a match for Phryne’s blouse?

Phryne, Samson and the blouse head off to take on the case without Jack’s assistance (for the time being),

and Jack decides, nonetheless, to keep a closer eye on things in the background, and has a bit of a lean (on Grossmith).

Jack: Miss Fisher was just inquiring about the carnival murder.

G’smith: Yeah, it's all in hand.

Jack: Perhaps you could use some assistance. Constable Collins, you'll be working with Senior Sergeant Grossmith.

But that’s not the end of the beautiful blouse. As Phryne decides to go undercover under the big top, we see the blouse being slowly transformed.

Phryne: Anything with feathers, fur or fins, Dot! Bring it all! 

Dot: Why the disguise, Miss? 

Phryne: Circus people are a very suspicious lot. They're not likely to tell the truth to an outsider.

The shadow of Janey’s disappearance, abduction and murder by Murdoch Foyle is a constant throughout the series. In this episode, the circus recreates the events that Phryne reveals to Samson are “never far from my mind.”  Murdoch Foyle himself lurks with intent:

And what of our Jack and his lack of interest in the case? Well, of course, he soon realises Grossmith’s duplicitous conduct, and it is he to whom Phryne reveals her guilt, in a scene as poignantly telling as it is tragic:

Phryne: It was too late. 

Jack: You were just a child. 

Phryne: It was my fault. 

Jack: No. No, I can't agree. I dismiss the charges. 

Phryne: You can't. I lost her, Jack. I lost her.

Now I know there’s a very similar blouse in Death Comes Knocking, but forensic examination has revealed it’s not the same  - similar silk chiffon fabric, but the sleeves, colour and fabric pattern are different.... So there goes that line of symmetry.

But there is another sighting...

The blouse’s second appearance is in King Memses’ Curse, as Foyle’s full narrative unfolds - his actions are the result of self-obsession and a self-proclaimed transcendence requiring sacrifices, Janey’s and Phryne’s among them.

Phryne wears the blouse with her detective trench coat throughout its occurrence in this episode.  We see it on her second visit to an academic, a former student of Foyle’s, who has agreed to help decipher the meaning of a ring and some inscriptions on two Egyptian debens, weights found on murder victims. Unbeknown to her, Rhodes is collaborating with Foyle and leading Phryne into a well-planned trap.

Rhodes’ cravat bears an uncanny similarity to the tones of the blouse, as do the decor and artefacts of his office.  The setting is harmonious rather than sinister reflecting Phryne’s ignorance of Rhodes’ complicity.

Phryne: So what's the significance of the ring? 

Rhodes: Well, Egyptians believed if your name was written down, it identified you and assured your ascendance to the afterlife. 

Phryne: And the four goddesses protected you? 

Rhodes: Yes. Yes, most sarcophagi have the four goddesses wrapping their wings around each corner to protect the soul on its journey. And I have those translations for you. They're just notes, phrases. The first one means 'to dedicate'. And the simplest translation of the second deben is 'the girl child'. 

Phryne: To dedicate the girl child. So that's what he thinks he's been doing. 

Rhodes: Girl child, or possibly daughter.

The horrible truth then comes to her as she understands the danger in which she has left Jane at home, despite a protection squad. Still unsuspecting of Rhodes’ involvement:

Phryne: Would you mind if I use your telephone?

Once she is at home the danger is immediately realised; a household drugged, Jane missing.

She goes straight to Jack and the differences in their demeanour and character are marked in their exchange; Jack composure and reason, Phryne desperation, the horror of history repeating itself leaving her in anguish and despair:

Jack: Alright. Let’s go through the facts calmly.

Phryne: How can I be calm when the fact is we haven’t the faintest idea where Foyle’s taken her!

(NP: I wanted to give my Jack a stillness and gravitas to counter the whirlwind climate that Phryne naturally creates around her. For me, it was important for him not to be thrown or dazzled by that atmosphere and to be the stillness in that storm.)

But they scarcely have time to consider where Foyle may have taken Jane when another tragedy reveals itself. Theresa Cavalli, another former student and also former lover of Foyle’s, is found, literally, on the sacrificial alter at the local church. (Father O’Leary must eventually question Dot’s association with his parish! It is littered with corpses...)

The colours of the mosaic floors and the vaulted transept seem too to reflect the tones of Phryne’s outfit; harmony amidst chaos.

From the church back to City South, where Phryne sees the extent of the forensic attention Jack has been giving the case.  And more sepia tones backgrounding their exchanges.

Their dates of birth link Foyle’s victims, and  Foyle himself. And then Phryne too.

Phryne: My father was drunk when he registered Janey's birth, and he put the wrong date on the certificate. It should have been me Foyle took instead of Janey. It's my birthday, Jack. Midsummer's Eve, same as the others. I'm Foyle's fourth goddess. That's why he's after me. 

Jack: So all he needs now for his ascension into the afterlife is you.

Jack takes drastic action to ensure the maelstrom of Phryne’s reaction doesn’t harm her or those she loves.

Phryne: Foyle can have me, if he lets Jane go. 

Jack: You can't go and offer yourself. 

Phryne: Rhodes is the last one on Foyle's list, and he has the ring. I need to go back there. 

Jack: I won't let you. You're under arrest... For your own safety. 

Shadows and bars, so often the image of those Phryne defends, imprison her. But it is short-lived; Dot, conspiring with Hugh, releases her and she is drawn further into Foyle’s game plan.

Jack retraces Phryne’s steps from earlier that afternoon, to Rhodes’ office, its decor now quietly ominous:

Rhodes: Inspector. Come in. 

Jack: Thank you. 

Rhodes: I heard about Mr Monkton and Mr Waters. Terrible news. 

Jack: And Miss Cavalli's body was found earlier today. She was strangled. 

Rhodes: Oh. No. I'd hoped she was somewhere safe from him. 

Jack: She had a ring that Foyle was after. I believe Miss Fisher left it with you. 

Rhodes: Yes. A rare artefact from the Fifth Dynasty. The reign of King Memses. 

Jack: Given it's part of our investigation, we'll have to take it into police custody. 

Rhodes: Yes, of course. Miss Fisher left in a hurry, but I kept it safe for her, with the rest of the antiquities collection. Downstairs.

Phryne’s final visit too, seems to be shrouded in menace. There are eyes everywhere.

The camera provides a close-up of a statue of Anubis, the jackal god, god of the dead, watched over the process of mummifying people when they died.

Phryne is lead, inevitably, irrevocably, to Foyle.

Foyle: Well done, Phryne Fisher. Did you like my trail of crumbs? You can kill me now, but you'll never see your daughter or policeman alive. My fourth goddess.

When we drink from these sacred cups, you and I will leave this mortal life in peace and full knowledge. First you, Miss Fisher. Your limbs will grow heavy but your mind will calm. And I will help you cross over to the other side as swiftly as I can... And you too will lie beside your sister, for all time.

Jack and Jane combine forces to release themselves from entombment just in time to foil Foyle, and catch the flagging Phryne, semi-conscious from Foyle’s toxic draught.

So that’s it for the blouse, as we next see Phryne recovered and ready to host her birthday party in one of the most ravishing of gowns.

And as Phryne prepares to celebrate her birthday party, Jack slips into something more comfortable  - a lean, a matching tie and a glass of champers.

[asylum-miniatures]

Entry 15 - A proper explanation is required

session 15, part 1, disco electric boogaloo

Last time we had to end a fight part way through.  After nearly an hour setting up, we resumed, with sim the rhino, vex, a large earth elemental tackling Anubis/set.  Yurian was backing up her girl, two guards moved in and one became useless due to the famine aura.  Ocelot had gone to investigate a secret door while a small earth elemental tires to stop the last ghoul from killing the captain unconscious on the floor while draspher looked on.

Yurian decides to use her scheming wits and the rooms reflective properties to super-blast Anubis with a bouncing shot.  The dm asks her for a into roll.  She gets a 1.

What was supposed to happen was that the bolt would bounce off the ceiling and floor blasting him around 16 time, who knows maybe even kill her in the process.  Instead she hits the magical epicentre of the reflective spells.  The room lights up like a rave, hitting everyone in the room for 21 damage.  At least the ghoul died, but the captain is dying again and we’re all looking worse for wear.

Drashpher starts dragging the captain out and ocelot starts waving me over.  Just as draspher finishes dragging her, vex channels a healing surge, fixing most of the damage but missing the captain.  He gets to healing her with his wand while I dash over to ocelot and the door.  While I run open and start to get the door open he decides to distract Anubis with a smoke bomb.  The main group are all covered by the cloud.  just as I get the door open, Anubis turns to us.  He problems that this smoke does nothing to a creature like him, and I get a blow, reducing me to low hp.  Yurian has her turn.  due to the cover, she can’t see me, she decides to go with her initial plan, blast him with a lightning bolt.  I am at very low hp at this point.  I can’t convince her not to shoot out of character, and I fail my reflex save this time.  I am the only one around the table who doesn’t have/seem to have a death wish, and I’m about to die. DM – roll for your shadow clone This saves me.  Just as I open the door a lightning bolt smashes into my last shadow clone.  The good news is I don’t need the toilet, either kind, anymore.  Ocelot pushes my babbling screaming form aside, and pulls open the door.  He sees a rune circle, and in the middle a sword in sheath, bound in chains and covered in seals.  He goes to grab and run, but his hand goes straight through it.  The bound sword that’s supposed to stop the feast of dust is gone.

Part two, explanations and exposition

Anubis sees this and screams in rage, vanishing in a cloud of dust.  Sayid comes in (having been freed by draspher and takes one look at ocelot still trying to grab the illusion and he just drops to his knees a broken man.  I make my way over to yurian, and angrily demand to be healed, especially after the damage she did.  I get promptly ignored as she goes past me to investigate what's going on with the sword.  She identifies the runes as a permanent image, but the sword is one of the oblivion keys. Jaune – how can a sword be a key.  What kind of an idiot uses a giant key as a weapon Ocelot – what about a keyblade Jaune – that’s a dumb idea Draspher – what if it’s just a sword that sometimes works like a key Jaune – maybe it’s always a key, and when you stick it in someone you unlock their death

These keys supposedly were set up to seal away several very powerful demons.

As vex comes over her paladin aura helps sayid pull himself back together.  We finally start asking him what's going on.  Sayid explains that his family have been guarding the blade for generations, each one keeping one of the four demons of something sealed away.  He doesn’t know when the sword was taken, the only other person who knew about was his son, whome he had been training to take his place some day. The disease is this demons signature curse, he must have gotten free when all this started.  Also of note is that the son had been falling in with a distrust-worthy foreign trader.  The same trader who slept around the brothel, the one reported to have been one of the first locations of the disease the symptoms fist and the girls from the brothel had the symptoms first.

We slept the night there.  Which is to say sim and yurian slept in sims collection of firs, draspher spent two hours in the morning in a sleep roll thanks to the ring of sustenance, the captain spent the night in sayids son’s bed, I spent the night in sayids bed and sayid spent the night restlessly, both with the burden of failing his duty and unable to relax while I spooned him in his own bed.

The dm has us roll fortitude rolls, and we all fail our saves.  The next day we wake up and go down for breakfast.  We are all properly parinoid after the failed fort roll.  Sim decided that sayid is probably distrustworthy, or at least something might have happened to the food since he was gone and the ghoul was staying here.  she decideds to stealthily cast a purify food and water spell to nutrilize the poison.  she rolls a 1.

sayid - what are you doing sim - ....cleansing the food...... sayid - oh good idea, carry on

after draspher starts getting parinoid, wanting to roll to make us eat first incase it is poisioned.  After much depate we can't decide whether or not ro roll initative or to syncronise eathing.

Ocleot - I love that our party goes 3, 2 ,1 eat

We all go to eat but find it revolting.  We’ve ended up with the same curse that is affecting the town.  What's more, this takes place every time we eat or drink, giving us the fatigued condition.  One of the party is wearing something that provides constant nutriment.  Draspher will have the condition constantly re-applied, and once again the dm has to swear he did not make this campaign, he just found a path and ran with it.  Once we finish we discuss the situation.  The only cure we have is the white spring water, but it’s not permanent.  We’d have to find the demon and finish him, but the water will do for now while we figure things out.  Problem is the guards have still got the compound in lockdown.  Our best hope is the letter from sayid that ocelot had found before, and the unconscious captain.  We make a makeshift stretcher for her, and sim and sayid take each side.  We set off to the compound, to see what we can negotiate.

Part three, it’s a jackal

We head off, vex and I in front, sim and sayid carrying the captain behind us, Dwain carrying fumbles to the side of them, ocelot and yurian  behind them and draspher right at the back.  The dm initially questioned that we left the sorcerer right at the back again after what happened last time.  At this point we’ve decided to stop fighting the inevitable and let fate have him.  As we head through town we notice a commotion by some of the tents set around town.  We make our way over, and we find six jackals surrounding a half collapse tent.  Inside is a woman's body being defended by a child with a stick.  We roll imitative and draspher charges ahead from the back of the group to the front.  he decides the best course of action is an immediate fireball Dm – roll wisdom Draspher – I thought you weren't doing that anymore? Dm - I'm not, just roll [gets a 0, again] Dm - ….... Draspher – I don't know how that happened What the dm was trying to warn him about was that there are several other tents all dotted around the first tent, a fireball would easily set fire to them Draspher – ok, I cast burning hands then Jaune – your 20' away Draspher – yeah, I should be in range Jaune – it's a 15' cone Draspher – yeah, I'm in range Jaune – your 20' away Draspher – yeah, I should be able to catch them with the edge of it Jaune – it's a 15' cone This went on for a while until we finally pulled out my copy of the rulebook and showed him exactly what squares it covers.  for some reason he could not understand what a 15' cone actually was.  So as a last action he just uses ghost sounds to make it sound like a dragon roared next to them.  That might have worked against normal jackals, but there was something off about these ones.  All the roar did was draw their attention to us.  I then get a stern gaze of disapproval from vex when I suggest we both back off and leave draspher to it.

The fight begins in earnest.  Yurian got a bless spell off and Vex charged up and started taking on the three to the right, killing one instantly and drawing the other two to her while I moved to flank with her.  Dwain decides to jump right in and start clawing up one on the left while draspher decides to start with the big guns and summons a bison to flan the one Dwain went after.  The rest hang back, with ocelot contributing by helping shoot two on the right and one on the left.  It around this point vex notices one of the jackals she's fighting doesn't seem quite right.  I think it's mostly to do with the smoke/dust coming from its nostrils.  It then opens up with a sand blast breath attack that's aimed for vex and myself.  I luckily dodge, but vex isn't so luck and takes the hit, getting disorientated and unable to see next turn.  I move in (the first jackal died) to flank this sand and draspher starts giggling to himself about the plan he has Draspher - I summon a squid! [Table is silent] Jaune – you can't do that Draspher – yes I can Jaune – no, you can't summon a water creature on land Draspher – oh [DM breaks down laughing and nearly falls off his chair] So as a group we have to explain that a. water creatures won't summon out on land, b. this game rule is regardless of any real-life occurrences and c. you just tried to summon a water breathing sea creature to the middle of a desert.  He then changes it to a frog (say what you will about appropriate environment, at least it can move and breath) and it goes to attack the other dust breathing dog.

With the paladin distracted the dog decides to go for the guy who just stabbed it in the back.  In one bite it rips through half my health, knocks my con down 2 points and my cha by 1 point.  I do what I think any brave adventurer would do in this situation.  I turn tail and run to yurian for healing.  I promptly get a clip around the ear, she's ticked I'd forgotten she can heal me at a distance.  She quickly regretted that action when she actually examined me.  It turns out these dust jackal things can inflict instant bubonic plague upon with their bites.  That’s right, I'd managed to lose half my health and get the black death.  She, and everyone else in the party, now no longer wish to touch me.

Vex gets pretty annoyed at this, and decides to take her frustration out on the dust jackal.  it does not survive this, and the second decides this really isn't worth it.  It's pretty fast, and gets virtually out of sight within a round.  Doesn't stop ocelot from pulling out his rifle and sticking a bullet straight into its ass as it ran.  I think the DM only allowed this a. because he rolled high for it, and b. he was just happy he used his rifle for once.

we make our way over to the kid.  during the fight draspher at one point tired to save the kid, and when he didn't come he uses a charm person spell to get him to come along (both a creative and good way to use a spell, so thumbs up from me draspher) and I guess he left an impression on the kid.  he goes to his moms body and removes the amulet, offering it to draspher.  he then immediately tries to offer the kid the +1 chainmail he got from the first ghoul (he had looted the body without telling us).  as a group, we are of all disgusted at this.  I think nearly everyone at that table had a plan to steal the shirt back, and in a couple of cases steal the pendent off him.  the kid doesn't take it/draspher changes his mind and gets to examine his new pendent.

A bit of backdoor.  when we first made our characters draspher had (and still has) a bit of a thing about unusual magic items, particularly in unique (not necessary effective) ways.  he initially wanted to spend almost all his gold on a pendent of adaptability, but the dm didn't want him to a. spend so much on one item and b. waste the gold that's supposed to be used to round him out on one gimmicky item.  needless to say when he identifies the amulet as said pendent of adaptability he needs a new set of trousers.  we decide to take the kid with us and see what happens. We finished the session there.  draspher left me a cure disease potion on the floor and backed off so I'm good on that front.  now the only thing we have to worry about is what happens when we finally get to the white water base.

Our dm also told us about his plans for the game.  after this we're going to have a side session so to speak.  we've been playing this group over a year, so he's going to give us a chance to play something else.  He's going to give us sheets initially, then mix we can mix things up, that way we can get a party role before we customise and try to fill that role, rather than just everyone coming along with a mash-match sheets that don't blend well.  it's still related to the overarching plot, and later we can mix up who we play as based on the mission, e.g. one mission might need a rogue, another a cleric, another a really good fighter etc.   This will also give some of us a chance to retire characters on a better note.  Yurian really has been getting sick of doing nothing every combat, but she's ended up with a couple of important plot hooks stuck in her.

Lives saved – 5.5, the Girl being mauled by his commander, the crazy homeless person that almost burnt, the nun we healed (.5), the captain, sayid and the kid

Lives killed – 6, the one guy we pulled up to stab, the civilian that got shot (she went at him with a knife), the broken armed escapee that got shot, the city guard (he only had 2 days left till retirement) and the other two guards

Vexes Harem – 2.25, the Girl being mauled by her commander, the nun and a librarian who was really a ghoul

Times Drilled over by Draspher – 3, he convinced me there was a dragon in the desert, got me glued to the ground with a crazy infected woman ready to beat me to death and now refuses to heal me

Times Draper got drilled over (both his own and others fault) - 30, his adhesive spittle keep breaking (2), I knocked him out (his own fault), he got assaulted by an air elemental and no-one cared, nearly killed by demon breath, his spider webs did nothing (15), the dog that fell to its death, the earth elementals that did nothing (3), the medium earth elemental critical that did nothing, the fireball, the 15' cone that can't go 20', the dragon roar (got the jackals attention) and the squid

Jaunes brave advances towards future victory - 5, when jess attacked in the night, the barn, the demons, the fear from Anubis and running from the dust jackal

[janusfranc15]

What an epic premise!

Okay, I'm making mummies the new monster du jour

We all know the story: daring adventurer and nerdy historian discover hidden treasure in a tomb, and just need to survive the undead and their curses long enough to douse themselves in holy water or whatever to sally off into the sunset with their bags of gold and live happily ever after.

What about the mummy's side?

You're dead. You've been dead for millennia, had your organs removed and rites read, been embalmed and dressed and laid to rest amid vast and well-appointed rooms chock-full of wealth. You strode into the afterlife like the king that you are, and have been reigning ever since. The river flows with milk and honey, eternal virgins attend your every physical desire, and your generosity knows no bounds as you shower endless wealth upon your adoring people.

And then...it stops. The river dries up, sour milk rotting in rivulets across the sticky bedrock. The maidens have vanished one by one, carried off by callous, disrespectful hands. The gold that once towered in piles around your palace disappeared much more quickly, not a single coin or ingot left. And your people turn on you. Not in anger, but in fear, hands clawing you, gaping mouths screaming soundlessly, bodies flattening and fading like living murals.

Anubis snatches you out of the waking nightmare, to something much worse: judgement. What? You have been judged already! Your heart weighed against a feather, the wisdom and love you so carefully curated in life keeping it light enough to guarantee your safe passage into an eternal paradise.

Except not so eternal, it seems. Robbers, he tells you. You cannot believe it. Even the bravest, most brazen, most despicably faithless dogs would not disturb your rest. Raid your tomb, yes, take your finery, yes, strip your body of its ornaments and peel the gold off the sarcophagus, perhaps, but not you. Your body in its wrappings, your organs in their jars, should be left alone. They could dump your empty bones on the floor of the pyramid and walk away with every material possession your people saw fit to entomb you with, but nothing of consequence would be taken from you in the afterlife.

They have not just taken your possessions, says Anubis. They have taken you.

Taken the sarcophagus? Surely they would remove your body to lighten the load--

They have taken you, he says.

Removed me to some lesser grave, to set up some new king in a glorious pyramid he himself could not afford to build? Tacky, and rude, but it has been done before--

They have taken you, he stresses again.

...have I fallen so far out of favor with my people, with Egypt herself, that they would strip me of my title and my rest?

Your god crouches, and looks you gently in the eyes, and says again, They have taken you.

And then he adds: You have ten days to return.

And you awake on a boat, a horrific thing of metal and smoke, surrounded by treasures packed in wooden crates and straw, admired by an endless parade of foreigners who ooh and ahh over your dead body and do not, cannot understand what they are costing you, making you their macabre trophy of the dullest hunt you can imagine.

You will teach them what a real hunt is.

(The rest of the movie is a timed horror-thriller as the hero, trapped in his own desiccated corpse, shambles around London trying to find his heart and return to Egypt, while attacked on all sides by monster hunters and grave robbers who don't understand that they're the bad guys. It is an epic struggle to stay the course and not fall into a vengeful frenzy, to keep his heart pure enough to pass the feather again, to FIND his heart in the first place.)