#Another Tumblr post talks about this but I can’t find it unfortunately :(

[naughtyneganjdm]

Turn That Frown Upside Down

Summary: Billy is at home having a hard time dealing with his visions of Kessler. After trying to determine why Joe Kessler is the man that his brain conjured up, Joe reminds Billy why he's certain Billy chose him.

Characters: Billy Butcher, Joe Kessler & Hughie Campbell

AO3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/57520939

Warnings: 18+, Swearing, Smut, Slash, Mocking, Dubious Consent, Butcher banging his imaginary best friend, etc.

Notes: This is a short little smutty slash fic that was inspired by this tumblr post made by @shirley-girly. Plus, I'd like to see Joe Kessler & Billy Butcher f*ck. I'm not gonna lie. Enjoy.

“You can’t ignore me forever you know,” Joe’s voice echoed in the back of Butcher’s mind again causing Billy to groan out in frustration. “You can’t get rid of me. Not with all that fun little super cancer growing inside of you. I’m here and I’m here to stay.”

“Ignoring ya has worked so far you cunt,” Billy pinched at the bridge of his nose, scoffing as he sank further into his couch, his thighs separating when he let out a frustrated breath. There wasn’t an escape from this because Joe was always there. Always mocking him whether he wanted him there or not.

“Aw, you’re being mean to me,” Joe spoke in a condescending manner as he dropped down on the couch beside Billy, his eyebrows bouncing up in amusement. “There’s the Butcher I know and love. The bastard of the man I always knew.”

“You’re not even real,” Billy blurt out as a reminder to his vision of his friend that he had lost back in the war. Maybe it wasn’t even a reminder to Kessler as much as it was a reminder to himself. The excitement of seeing Joe Kessler was something that had brought him some of the greatest happiness he had experienced in a while. Finding out he wasn’t real? Well that was an unfortunate event. Knowing that Kessler was part of him and the darkest parts of him was worse.

“I’m as real as you are motherfucker,” Joe reached out to curl his arm around Billy’s shoulders causing him to scoff. It was strange how he could still feel the touch and presence of Joe. It felt like Joe was really there even though Billy knew he wasn’t. “I’m as real as that cancer inside of your head.”

“Fuck off you wanker,” Billy snapped when Joe poked at his temple and he swatted Joe’s hand away. It had Joe snorting, his deep rumble of a laugh drawing chills down Billy’s spine.

“You say that now, but you don’t want me to leave,” Joe suggested, sliding down in a similar position to the way that Billy was sitting on the couch beside him. A long sigh fell from Joe’s lips when he wiggled his legs back and forth. “You want me here. You know that.”

“Oi, when I say fuck off, I mean fuck off,” Billy insisted, throwing his hand up again to give Joe the middle finger. It had Joe’s nose wrinkling in amusement before he shook his head.

“See, you say one thing, but your brain thinks another,” Joe lifted his hand to point at his own head, tapping at the temple. Unhurriedly, Billy tipped his head to the side to glance over Joe. “You keep forgetting that I am you. I’m a part of you. You don’t want me to go. You want me here because you miss me.”

“You’re a cunt, Kessler. You’re not even fucking real,” Billy retorted stressing once more what he knew to be the truth. “I don’t even know why my brain picked you. Of all the people in the world. It could have been Lenny. It could have been me dad. Instead, it was fucking you.”

“You know why it’s me,” Joe suggested which had Billy shifting on the couch, his eyes narrowing when Joe’s dimples became more prominent. “You may have left me there to die, but we both know how you felt about me…”

“I…” Billy paused, a lump growing in his throat. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Yes you do,” Joe grunted, reaching up to loosen the tie around his throat. A wince fell from his throat when he adjusted his positioning on the couch again. “You focus pretty heavy on that waitress you fucked, but you were still with Becca when you did the things you did with me.”

“Shut up,” Billy sneered, his eyes narrowing at Joe from where he was smirking beside him. “Nothing happened.”

“Oh, right. Sure. Nothing happened,” Joe mocked Billy, his head nodding about before a big, wolfish smile expanded out over his features. “Is that what you try to tell yourself at night to feel better about leaving me to die or is that something you’ve truly tried to make yourself believe? Because fuck, I sure as hell have a different memory.”

“I don’t get why I’m even bothering talking to you,” Billy tried to force himself to look away from Joe who turned on the couch to keep his stare locked on Billy. Joe’s hand outstretched to lay across the back of the couch behind Billy. It had Billy’s breathing growing louder with how Joe was locked on him as if expecting him to act a certain way. “Fuck off Kessler.”

“Maybe I can help you remember,” Joe’s voice was quiet and it had Billy sucking in a sharp breath of air. “I’ll go with the first time. Maybe that will fucking help you stir some shit up in your brain. It was late at night. We were alone in the tent. Drinking. Drinking a lot…”

“Stop,” Billy demanded, his voice raising with every muscle in his body tensing up.

“I remember distinctly you talking about missing the touch of someone. How you’d wake up with your cock hard every morning. How much you missed fucking,” Joe continued and in that moment it had a breath catching in Billy’s throat when he felt Joe’s hand lowering in over his thigh. “We started swapping stories, when…”

Billy’s eyes came to a tight close when he felt the warmth of Joe’s breath lingering at the side of his face. A tremoring exhale escape his throat when Joe started kissing at his jawline toward his neck. It had Billy’s lips parting, his Adam’s apple bouncing in his throat. The sensation had Billy’s heart kickstarting in his chest and it felt like the room was spinning. Leisurely, Joe’s hand slid up further until Joe reached between Billy’s thighs cupping him firmly. Tipping his head back gave Joe room to start nipping at his flesh. The rough sensation of Joe caressing over his length had Billy holding back making a sound.

“Stop,” Billy screamed, shoving Joe back hearing his laugh fill the air when Billy knocked him away. “Enough.”

“You were uncomfortable then too. But I saw it. I saw it in the way you looked at me. The way you would watch me when we’d fucking shower. Stealing glances at my fucking dick every chance you got. Asking me to pull it out so we would have our dick measuring contests,” Joe hissed, moving forward again to grab a firm hold of Billy’s face to get him to lock in on him. “The way you followed me around like a lost fucking puppy dog, listening and doing everything I told you. You may pretend with others, but with me you couldn’t hide that fucking part of you. No, you couldn’t.”

“It was a mistake,” Billy winced surprised with the pain he actually felt from Joe’s grasp on his face.

“A mistake happens once. Not multiple times,” Joe claimed, his eyebrows furrowing when his lips pressed in closer to Billy’s. Sliding in closer to Billy, Joe’s fingers pulled apart Billy’s belt in a swift movement. Next was forcing open the button of Billy’s pants and then Joe’s rough fingertips tugged at the zipper. Instead of fighting him, Billy’s hips arched up when Joe’s fingers sank beneath the material of his pants. Once the strength of Joe’s fingers curled around his cock, Billy groaned out and closed his eyes. “Any chance we were alone, you were always crawling in beside me wanting me to play with your dick while you played with mine.”

“This isn’t real,” Billy tried to remind himself with a slur, his moan filling the air with Joe jerking him off. Grunting, Billy felt Joe releasing his face to help get the material of his pants to the bottom of his waist allowing Billy’s hard cock to bounce free from the prison it was behind.

“Tell that to your rigid fucking cock,” Joe teased Billy, hovering his lips over Billy’s. When Joe’s lips came crashing down over his, Billy didn’t fight him. In fact, he kissed him back. Hungrily. Wanting the sensation that it brought forth. Joe wasn’t gentle in the way he was stroking Billy’s manhood. Yet it had Billy thrusting his hips up toward the movements. ��It’s just like it was then. You being a little bitch, yet inside your pants you couldn’t hide your erection. Thrusting your hips up into my grasp like the thirsty little fuck that you are.”

A deep rumble of a moan escape his lips when he felt Joe biting at his bottom lip, giving it a firm tug. It was rough and after Joe did it, Billy was certain he tasted his blood in his mouth afterward, “This was always how it started off. Drinking, getting close, being bitchy and it would lead to my hand down your pants and yours down mine. Jerking each other off. And once we came you’d run off at first. Until you started wanting more. There was always that curious side to you Butcher. The one that wondered what things felt like. You were such an alpha male that you needed to have that power taken away sometimes.”

“Don’t,” Billy whined when Joe started kissing down over the side of his neck. There had been so much pain lately from the way that he was feeling that the pleasure from the hand job was welcomed. Yet, he wasn’t sure he wanted to hear this. To think about this.

“I promised you then that I wouldn’t tell anyone how you liked sucking my cock and having me do the same for you,” Joe grumbled, his nose nudging slightly at Billy’s jawline. Grasping tightly to Billy’s neck with his free hand, Joe forced Billy to tip his head back and bit at Billy’s neck having him wincing out. “Or how you would crawl into my cot sometimes to ride my cock.”

“No,” Billy tried to reach for Joe’s wrist to get him to stop.

“No? No to what Butcher? I’m part of you. And the real Joe would know the truth too,” Joe’s face scrunched up. A grunt fell from Butcher when he felt Joe tugging at his leg getting him to slide down onto the couch. Growling out, Butcher felt the strength of Joe turning him over onto his stomach. Pulling him up onto his knees. It had Butcher’s face pressing into the couch cushion when he felt the material of his pants being tugged down his thighs. “Come on Butcher. Let’s turn that frown upside down.”

“This isn’t happening,” Billy’s eyes slammed shut when he heard the sound of Joe’s belt being pulled open. There was shifting behind him, a weight change on the couch bringing him in closer to the warmth that was pressed against his bottom. Lazily opening his eyes, Billy watched Joe’s hand outstretch to reach for the drawer in the coffee table. Pushing things around had items falling to the floor before Joe grabbed a small bottle. A moment later, there was a pressure at the back of Billy’s head pushing him further into the couch. “This isn’t real.”

“Tell yourself whatever you have to make yourself feel better,” Joe’s voice rumbled from behind him with the slick sensation of the lube that had been grabbed pouring over his ass. It had Billy’s forehead clenching, his lip sucking into his mouth. “But notice you ain’t running from the idea Billy. You know just as much as I do why I was the person you conjured up.”

“Fuck,” Billy arched forward when he felt fingers prodding at his ass. It had him wincing out when he felt one finger being pushed inside of him before another working to open him up. It had been a while since he felt something like this, but he wasn’t rushing away from the idea of it. Joe wasn’t wrong. That was a part of him that he tried to push away for so long and hide. At first, Billy’s fingers dug into the material of the couch, wincing with the way that Joe’s fingers thrust inside of him. He was fighting just how much he truly wanted this. How much he needed to feel this.

“You were always my little bitch Billy,” Joe growled out, pulling his fingers from Billy’s body. There was another pop of the lid from the bottle that Joe grabbed before he was throwing it on the coffee table again. “And you loved every second of it.”

“Bloody hell,” Billy felt the fingers digging at his flesh pulling him back. Wincing out, there was a pressure at his tight hole with Joe lining himself up with Billy’s body. Groaning, Billy’s eyes squeezed shut when he felt the warmth of Joe’s cock pressing into him. It had him fighting to not make a noise. Joe was not one for subtle or taking time. In fact, the moment he thrust into Billy, he only gave him enough time to get used to the sensation of Joe before Joe’s hips were thrusting fast from behind. The sounds of flesh smacking filled the room and it had Billy humming out. “Kessler…”

“This is the Butcher I know,” Joe grunted from behind Billy, his hands bringing Billy firmly back against him while he fucked his former friend. “People would be so shocked to know that the Butcher they knew used to beg for me to fuck him in the middle of the night while pleading with me to let him come.”

“Shut up,” Butcher winced, his hand reaching back to squeeze at Joe’s flexing hip while the thrusts were forceful bouncing Butcher upwards. Keeping his eyes closed helped Billy focus on the pleasure of what it was drawing from him and he moaned out when he felt Joe’s left hand curling around him to wrap his fingers around Billy’s swollen cock. When Joe’s movements stopped it had Billy hissing out. “Keep going…”

“You want to come Butcher?” Joe leaned over Billy, biting at Billy’s earlobe before snickering. The warmth of Joe’s breath had chills running down Billy’s spine. “Then make yourself come. Fuck yourself on my cock like the bitch that you are.”

“I hate you,” Billy maintained with an angered sound after Joe pressed into the back of his head firmly burying it against the couch. Using the strength that he did have, Billy started rocking his hips backward taking Joe in. Then gradually pulled forward allowing him to pull out. It had a breath catching in Billy’s throat and with each movement Billy was able to make it stronger. At the same time, it had his hips bouncing forward toward Joe’s hand that was curled around his hard cock jerking him off. So he was getting stimulation both from his prostate and from fucking Joe’s hand.

“It sure looks like you don’t fucking hate me,” Joe’s moan was loud in Billy’s ear, the grasp Joe had on Billy’s hair growing tighter while Billy worked to fuck himself with Joe’s cock. “You always did love riding my cock Butcher. And you looked good doing it. Just like you do now. Sick and all…”

“Fuck…” Billy’s face grew hot, both of their breathing labored while Billy controlled the movements and the tempo that was set between them. He wanted it hard. He wanted it rough. He wanted to feel everything. There was a tightness in Billy’s testicles with his thighs tensing up. He was nearing an orgasm.

“That’s it, almost there,” Joe urged him on, his moans matching Billy’s with his fingers that were in Billy’s hair digging so tightly into his flesh that it felt like it would leave a mark. “Come on Butch…show your old friend just how much you hate him.”

Joe bit at Billy’s chin with Billy growling out when he felt the first line of his cum cover the couch beneath him. Keeping up with his movements, Billy rocked back against Joe until he reached the end of his orgasm. At the end, Joe took control pumping his hand furiously over Billy’s cock drawing him to moan out at the sensations it drew deep from within him.

“Uhm, Butcher,” another voice pulled Billy from the moment, drawing his head to turn to see that Hughie was standing at the door to his apartment holding onto the doorknob. Breathlessly glancing back over his shoulder, Butcher grumbled to himself when he saw that his vision of Joe was snickering and buckling his pants back together as he sat down. “I can come back if you’d like me to.”

“What did ya see?” Billy shakily stood up, his body weak when he pulled his pants together. Hughie’s face was red, his eyes doing their best to avoid making eye contact with Billy.

“Nothing,” Hughie stammered, waving his free hand up in the air to avoid the conversation.

“Oi, don’t be a cunt,” Billy called out, noticing that his cum was covering his hand and he reached for a tissue from the coffee table. “Tell me what you saw.”

“Well, you were on the couch…” Hughie pointed in the area of the couch, it had an amused expression over Joe’s face while he kept his hazel eyes locked on Billy. “You were humping what looked like the air while jerking off.”

“Oh,” Billy adjusted his clothing and sat down on the couch attempting to catch his breath.

Billy could have been embarrassed that Hughie found him in a fairly sexual position, but it wasn’t the worst position someone found him in so there was no reason to feel bad about it. He knew Hughie had seen worse, so it was what it was.

“Was I supposed to see something else?” Hughie stepped into the apartment, cautiously closing the door.

“Like what?” Billy cleared his throat, shrugging his shoulders when Hughie moved across the room to sit on the coffee table before him. “What are you doing?”

“Sitting,” Hughie was quick to respond, his face scrunching up in confusion.

“There is a spot next to me,” Billy looked to the couch to see that the cushions were covered in his seed. Hughie made a disgusted face when Billy snatched another tissue to clean things up. “It’s not like it’s the worst thing you’d ever had happen to ya. Sitting in a bit of cum.”

“Right…” Hughie shifted uneasily on the coffee table before Billy. Tossing the tissue at the garbage, Billy missed by a long shot and grunted. “So you like the ass thing with the fingers. Annie has been trying to get me into the pegging thing. Started with one finger, worked her way to two, but…”

“I don’t need to hear about starlight fingering your asshole,” Billy was disgusted, scoffing out and waving his hand in the air.

“I just figured since you like ass play maybe you could give me some tips,” Hughie rambled when Billy groaned and got up from the couch. “You were using your fingers there and…”

“The boy has no idea how much you like ass play,” Joe snickered from behind Billy and it had Billy tensing up. “How do you think he would feel to know that you like being fucked in the ass by your imaginary fucking friend.”

“Shut up you wanker,” Billy retorted hearing Joe snort when Hughie went pale. Realizing that Hughie thought he was talking to him, Billy threw his hand up in the air and tried to think quickly of something. “If you like it. Do it. If you don’t. Don’t. It’s not that hard. It’s just a few fingers in your ass. How hard can it be?”

“Smooth,” Joe joked, stretching his legs out from where he was seated on the couch. There was a sense of arrogance flooding over his features and Billy realized there was no getting rid of this part of him. But Joe was right, he wasn’t sure he wanted him to go. After what just happened, Billy knew there was a part of him that he would have to start embracing and accepting. It didn’t mean he would tell anyone about it. He was fucking nuts after all. But there was a reason he picked Joe. As fucked up as it was, the answer was always right there for him to see.

[midnightsilver]

Tips for Spn Artists posting on Tumblr 😄👍🏻

I see a lot of new artists posting Spn art and it can be a struggle to get your art out there. Or you might be new to Tumblr and not sure how best to put yourself forward.

I post Spn art and do a lot of bangs when my health permits. And I have picked up some tips that I have found helpful for posting art tumblr 😄 so I thought I would share.

Please feel free to take any of these points or leave them as suits you!

✨Personalise your header and icon. Bots will often make posts with popular tags and stolen art, to try and gain followers before throwing out the spam links, but some clues the account is a bot is not having personalised headers and icons, not having a long history of posts (more than a few days), and not talking about their art or fandom. So make sure you don’t look like a bot 😄

✨Interact with accounts you enjoy. Like, comment and reblog your favourite accounts and they will likely return the favour and you will get more followers. The first way your post gets noticed is by your followers. Interacting isn’t always easy if one is an introvert or doesn’t have much time for social media, but do what you can where you can.

✨If don’t have many followers then the next best thing is to use tags more. People follow key tags to find new posts from blogs they are not aware of. I recommend using the ‘Spn fanart’ tag on all your art posts. Also be sure to include: common ship names, the character names, and key words like: cute, funny, angst, angel, wings, etc 👍🏻 😄 this will help people find your posts, so be sure to tag consistently!

✨Make a personal art tag, it could be ‘your name art’ or something as wacky as you like. But tag all your art with it! If someone sees your art post out in the Spn fanart tags and they like it, they can click your art tag to see the rest of your art posts.

✨Don’t include links to outside webpages unless absolutely necessary. If you are posting for a bang, reblog the bang master post for the story which has the links to ao3, but then make your own art post and only link to the tumblr master post. Tumblr often hides posts with links to outside webpages (so that the porn bots sending you to spam websites get minimised, but unfortunately this also minimises links to ao3 or shops 😔). Links to another post inside of tumblr are ok tho! So to keep your art post from being hidden from searches, only link back to the master tumblr post with the story info. If people want to read the story they can follow the ao3 link from there. But it’s better that they actually get to see your art (the ‘advert’ for the story) in the first place so that they know it exists!

Also keep this info in mind if you are linking to your shop or your other socials. Your direct followers will see your shop posts but because of the external links the post might be hidden from searches. Consider doing a mix of posts with direct shop links and ones that get the info out there but link back to a pinned tumblr post or bio post with the outside link.

✨Don’t crowd your art. Many people view tumblr on mobile so your pictures will look small. People can’t really see the details if you put 2 images side by side. Put one image on each line and consider making some cropped images to show close up details of your favourite bits. You need to catch people as they are quickly scrolling past, so be sure that you make it easy for them to see what you are offering.

✨And finally don’t be afraid to do reblogs. It isn’t rude to reblog your own work, it’s helpful. Dashboards can get very busy and even if people follow you, your post might be burried a long way down if they don’t get back online multiple times a day. Reblogs will give them a chance to see what they missed. As long as you are not posting on the hour every hour, most people appreciate 2 or 3 reblogs at different times to save them having to scrolled back for days! 😄 and don’t forget that tumblr is multinational. Time zone reblogs can be helpful.

✨oh I forgot one more thing! Don’t put yourself down! No piece of art is perfect! Ever! But Michelangelo doesn’t start off by apologising that the statue of David is out of proportion. And neither should you! Let your work shine where it shines and don’t bury it in put-downs before you even give others the chance to enjoy its triumphs! You deserve better and so do they!

Those are the main points my friends. If you have any other helpful tips that you want to share, feel free to reblog this and add on points. We were all new to this hellsite (affectionate) at some point. And life is already hard for us struggling artists so whatever we can do to help each other is a good thing 💛

Stay awesome my friends, and happy Arting 🙌🏼😄

[cleminthewriter]

Angel Au By Wyverns

Hi Clemin here, this is an au of the Sitcom Au where everything is the same but Alex is an Angel by @wyvnspng, but they were unable to post it to tumblr so they asked me if i could.

Notes from Wyverns:

"This is an AU of the Sitcom AU! Very vague and brief mention of domestic violence at the start. Clyde just thinks about it in a paragraph. Skip the second paragraph if that makes you uncomfortable.

I quickly skimmed through it so sorry if there’s spelling or grammatical errors!"

------

Humans are a really odd species. Clyde knows this quite well. They’re weak, and tasty, and they like to live in big groups. You’d think that they’d all go extinct by now, but they’re thriving.

Despite their weakness, humans are cruel. They’re mean, even to their own kind. Sometimes they’re mean to their own partners, which confuses Clyde. It could never be cruel to its partner, so it doesn’t understand. Maybe it never will.

Clyde has been around humans for a long time. It has seen many different humans in its lifetime, many of which it has eaten. It has spent many hours of its life watching the short-lived creatures live lives of their own.

The humans it’s watching right now are very busy. There’s lots of them, all hanging out in one of their buildings. Despite the late time, the building is loud and bright, and the humans within are filled with energy. Clyde knows that humans are diurnal, so this is just another oddity to add to the ever growing list.

Every now and then, a few humans trail out of the gathering, where they will return to their cars and leave. Clyde would hunt these ones, but it is not faster than a car, so there is little point. Boredly, it continues to wait. Hopefully soon one would decide to leave on foot…

..

Clyde is really bored. And a little hungry. Maybe it should find something else to eat. Mind made up, it climbs onto the fence of the house it was perched upon, being careful to prevent the humans gathered in the house across the street from spotting it.

It makes its way across fences, moving in random directions, just going wherever it feels like going. It avoids the buildings with humans in them, careful to remain hidden.

It continues like this for a little bit, before making its way onto a wetter fence, where it promptly slips off and lands onto the floor with a crash. It landed on its tail, and the spikes dig uncomfortably into its back.

Clyde reorients itself and sits up, flicking its tail out of its back. It’s not injured, but the onesie it stole now features holes in the back, which, excluding the ones that are supposed to be there, is unfortunate.

What is less unfortunate is that nobody was around to witness its slip up (a distant part of Clyde freaks out, but it’s far too distant to notice). It’d have to pay more attention to what it’s doing.

Clyde manoeuvres itself so that it’s standing upright, when it turns around to face the house, only it wasn’t a house that it ended up facing. Clyde almost flinched, briefly panicking thanks to the jumpscare, before a warm calmness swept over it.

Somehow a human had managed to sneak up to it, and was standing in front of it. Clyde stood there for a second, motionless, as it looked the ‘human’ up and down. Clyde had seen and eaten many humans, and it could tell that this definitely wasn’t one. They looked like one, and if Clyde didn’t know any better, it definitely would have been fooled. But there’s something off about this thing. Clyde can’t exactly pinpoint what is off about them, but it knows it’s something.

“Hello? Is everything alright?” Clyde twitched slightly as the thing talked. They seemed unsure of their words, but didn’t add anything else. Clyde wanted to open up, and let this old friend of its know what was troubling it. It wanted to ask them for help recovering its partner, because it knows that they are trustworthy, and that they can help.

Clyde feels a little freaked out, but it’s struggling to focus on that over the intense calm that seems to have swept over it. It has no idea what this thing is doing to it, let alone how they are doing whatever it is.

Clyde refuses to answer their question.

Their faces (face. They only have one. It doesn’t know why that feels wrong.) twitched, and Clyde has no idea what that means, but they offer it a hand. “Would you like to come inside? I just made a sandwich, you can have it if you’d like,” Clyde is compelled to take their hand, which it does without hesitation. It’s a little disappointed when nothing happens.

The thing leads it into the house, and Clyde follows easily, almost in a daze. It’s quickly sat down on a couch and a sandwich is placed in its claws. It takes a bite. The thing sits next to it. “You tore your outfit a little. Would it be okay if I patched it up for you?” Clyde doesn’t really care what this thing does so long as they let it go. (It feels guilty for accusing its friend of something like that.)

Clyde rotated its body slightly, continuing to just eat the sandwich. The overwhelming calmness had receded somewhat, which is significantly more comforting than when it was there. The thing behind it shuffled around a little before patching up the holes that had been torn open when it fell.

“Why are you doing this?” Clyde asked, referring to the whole situation. Why did they kidnap it? Why did they make it calm? Why did they give it a sandwich? It is so confused, and it has no answers for its questions.

“Why? Well, i’m pretty sure She wanted us to meet, but i’m not sure what She wants me to do with you? She is pretty cryptic with this stuff,” Clyde has no idea what any of that is supposed to mean. Who is She? How does She know about it? All Clyde got was more questions.

The thing moved away, and Clyde looked back at them. “All done, sorry about the falling thing,” The thing apologised, which made little sense. Was this a trap? But how could they have known that Clyde would have come that way?

“Who are you?” It shifted to that it was facing the thing, which was putting away a small box that likely contained the stuff they used to sew up Clyde's onesie.

“Oh, yeah, my name’s Alex,” They replied, sitting back onto the couch. “What about you?”

“..Clyde,” It said, moving its head to look forward again.

“Nice to meet you, Clyde,” Alex stated, “I look forward to our continued friendship.”

Clyde was convinced that this was a nightmare.

[edwardianmumbo]

Verbal Terminology in Autistic Tumblr Survey Results

After quite a long while (and for that I apologise) I’ve finished the results of a survey about the descriptivist uses of the terms Nonverbal/Non-Speaking and Semiverbal/Semi-Speaking in Tumblr’s Autism Community. This survey was originally intended to cover more, and just be a fun side project that unfortunately ended up with many flaws throughout the whole process. I'll go into specifics more at the end in the “Further Notes” section!

All that to say, I heavily implore you to do your own research and listen to others outside of this survey about these terms. Admittedly I think this survey is best taken as a small peek into how a very small group of people currently use these terms, in a fun non-informational survey format. (Also this was my first time doing image ids, so well i tried my best they might be really bad and for that i apologise in advance!!)

Demographic Questions

[image id: a bar graph called “What Would You Call Yourself” with the options going top to bottom the graph says Nonverbal at 16 (3.5%), Semiverbal at 118 (25.9%), Someone Who temporarily Loses Speech or Temporarily Can’t Talk at 308 (67.7%), Verbal or At allistic Level at 171 (37.6%), and Hyperverbal at 95 (20.9%) end id]

First things first I looked at the different ways survey respondents identified personally, and at a base level we can see most people said they had varying speech levels. The next highest given types overall were Semiverbal and Speaking Autistics, with Nonverbal being the least used term among survey participants. Due to this being multiple choice I also looked at what group of responses where most common:

[image id: a bar graph of Unique Term Use Types. The highest is Temporary Only at 141 respondents. The next Highest is VT (Verbal and Temporary) at 60, followed closely by Verbal Only at 59. The rest in order of highest to lowest is Semiverbal Only at 41, ST (Semiverbal and Temporary) at 33, TH (Temporary and Hyperverbal) at 29, Other Combinations at 21, VTH (Verbal, Hyperverbal, and Temporary) at 19, Hyperverbal Only at 18, SVT and STH and VH are all tied at 8, SV (Semiverbal and Verbal) at 6, and finally Nonverbal Only at 4 respondents. end id]

This graph more clearly shows that a majority of responders would consider their verbal speech levels to change, but only a minority of that group also considers themself Semi or Non-Verbal. You can all also see how a majority of responders considered themself either as just temporarily losing speech or a combination group using the Verbal option, which highlights a potential bias in the future questions. (Also the other section is for all combinations that got under 1% of respondents individually!)

[image id: A pie chart pf praticapent’s age groups. The highest at 56% is 18-29 year olds, with 13-17 place at 38.2%. The rest have the percents cut off but in order are 30-29, Under 13, and then 40+ year olds. End id]

Most responders fell in the age ranges of 13-29. This seems to follow general Tumblr trends after a quick search, but possibly leans a few years younger then the general user base. The lack of older adults taking the survey is unfortunate as some of these terms have been around for a while, and it’s always a plus to get an all ages response on surveys like these.

[image id: A pie chart titled “Where did you find the survey”, The top choice being “Another Tumblr Blog” at 59.1%, and the 2nd “Nd Culture Is” at 37.1%. You can see the slices for “From Someone I Know” and various Other Responses in the pie chart, with the other responses blurred out in the index sheet. end id]

This graph is admittedly a bit worthless, as I made it before deciding where I was going to post the survey to, so a decent amount of people, both those who selected “Another Blog” or Other mentioned getting it straight from the og post or a reblog of it. So needless to say i wasn’t quite exact enough by what i meant in this question (which was to see how far it spread vs any bias from just my “in-group” so to say), but it does does imply that that the survey didn’t make it far from the groups I posted it in. Which is expected with how little "promoting" was done during the survey period.

NonVerbal / NonSpeaking

[image id: a multiple bar graph showcasing the correlation between how responders self identified vs how they define Nonverbal. Going from top to bottom is The Fully Always option chosen by 3 from Nonverbal Only, Masking with no chosen responses, Little to No Speech at 2 from Nonverbal and other Terms Users, Allow Temporary at 9 from Nonverbal and other Term Users plus 7 from Nonverbal and Temporary and an intentional Nonverbal Only Responder, then All Above with 1 Nonverbal and Temporary plus a Nonverbal Plus Response, Followed lastly by Other Definitions with no responses. End id]

Before going over this data I want to reiterate that the survey had very few nonverbal people taking it, so this data is not going to be all possibly not even most, nonspeaking people’s option on defining those terms. Next The N Plus section on the graph includes the N and T groups as well as other responders who marked themself with more than just the Nonverbal role. That said it seems that the greater community tends to lean towards the “Someone who has periods or is always not able to speak and/or can't speak well” option, and well quite a few nonverbal autistics agree, there’s a group especially among those who only consider themselves nonverbal who prefer defining it as those who always can’t speak fully ever. This matches with trends i’ve personally seen in the nonverbal tags of nonverbal people preferring definitions that centre on the lack of verbalness, even completely or most of the time vs speaking autistics using more broader terms, but again with such a lack of nonspeaking people involved there is no solid reliability to the data.

SemiVerbal / SemiSpeaking

[image id: a multiple bar graph showcasing the correlation between how respondents self identified vs how they define Semiverbal. Going from top to bottom is Partly All with 8 from Semiverbal Only plus 7 Semiverbal and Temp and 10 from Semiverbal Plus, Next is Inbetween with 24 from Semiverbal Only and 42 from Semiverbal and Temp plus 53 from Semiverbal Plus, Lose Speech has 5 from Semiverbal Only plus 6 from Semiverbal and Temp and 8 from Semiverbal Plus,All Above with 2 from both Semiverbal and Temp plus Semiverbal Only, Context-Based with no responses, and finally Other with 1 from Semiverbal Only plus 2 from Semiverbal and Temp and 3 from Semiverbal Plus. end id]

Like The Nonverbal Section, The S Plus section on the graph includes the S and T groups as well as other responders who marked themself with more than just the Semiverbal role. Otherwise, from this graph we see an overall trend of including anybody “between nonverbal and verbal” regardless of how the respondents identified themself. There also seems to be less of a disconnect between those who are semiverbal vs the greater community when compared to the results of Nonverbal, although whether that is a bias of the survey or a general trend is hard to tell. Most respondents who chose Other seem to have given either an all of the above answer (which I might have manually included???) or mentioned a definition using the idea of always struggling with speech but at different levels.

Further Notes

One thing I really wish I had done was involve more nonverbal and semiverbal people in the whole process of making this, i think looking back there’s definitely moments were you could tell this was made by a speaking autistic and I really didn’t do nearly enough to include and uplift the voices of those who this survey was literally about. In a similar vein I forgot about pretty much every non-autistic community who uses these terms, but also didn’t make it clear enough that it was unintentional, leaving not only countless voices unheard but accidentally ostracising those whose voices are equally as important as what this survey managed to cover.

Alongside that I was very unclear in what some questions meant to the point even future-me wasn’t sure what the data was for, plus I bit off much more than I could chew, making for a messy at best survey experience. As such survey taker’s might notice not every question was given space here, and that is simply because I couldn't process the data in a timely manner.

I did however let people opt-in to sharing further notes about how they use these terms and will share some of those under the read more with no individual commentary so as to let people speak fully for themselves:

There is a gap in the language available to describe autistic difficulties with speech. Verbal should describe the ability to use language, written or spoken, but in the context of neurodivergency almost always describes speech only. Non-speaking would be a more appropriate term and would free up nonverbal as a term for autistics who struggle with written and spoken English (as in syntax or language in general, not spelling). This has been talked about in high support need circles but is not mainstream.

I think we should look to the wheelchair users for language design, specifically the differences with the language around full time wheelchair user and ambulatory/part time wheelchair user

i wish mostly speaking people would find other ways of explaining their experiences without using nonverbal/nonspeaking people's language. we already have a much harder time communicating and when our language is taken or used in different ways that makes people confused about the meaning and they assume that the experience of mostly speaking people is the same as mostly or fully nonverbal/nonspeaking people. when actually the overall experience is very different

I am not sure exactly where I fit within being verbal but losing speech and struggling to speak almost always, or if I am semiverbal. I think the lines between all of these terms can be blurry, but I think it's bad how verbal autistics who lose speech occasionally (and often talk about being able to push through this and force themselves to speak - which is how I feel almost all the time) have taken these terms which makes it very hard to find content from people whose experiences with speech are similar to mine or who are nonverbal. I think it's connected to how in general lower support needs autistics take most of the space in the autistic community and it can feel isolating for people like me who are higher support needs.

And well this survey was about English specifically, I want to share what this survey respondent said about how the terms work in their language and how that affects their usage of these terms:

third of all: the alternatives to that, such as "losing speech", "having verbal shutdown", or "going mute"... simply do not work in some languages. and as proof, let me show you my beautiful native language, that being ukrainian!

"losing speech" = our word for speech equals our word for talk. when losing speech, i CAN talk - but not by using my voice.

"verbal shutdown" = our word for shutdown is not being used in the same way as in english and there is no good alternatives.

"going mute" = our word for mute has a very long and complicated and problematic history, and is not something most people would be comfortable saying!

so, that means that i am left with absolutely no phrases to use in my language - because the only one, that being "going/becoming non-verbal" which is translatable and has the same meaning - is not an option anymore.

[hecateisalesbian]

The Pride of June: Aromantic

Todays art piece (bottom) was created by @zedleaked. Please go check out their blog and show support!

Scroll to the bottom for a message from our Tumblr User!

The Aromantic Flag is the Flag used to describe someone who experiences little to no romantic attraction. This IS NOT the same as asexual. Someone who is Aromantic can still feel the desire to have sexual relationships.

Fun History Fact: They first recorded use of the word Aromantic was said as joke by someone trying to explain they have no desire to be in a relationship

Tumblr User: @zedleaked, and @boilinghotsoupandcrackers (who is aroace)

Media characters: Lilith Clawthrone from The Owl House is aroace, Peridot from Steven Universe is aroace, Percival King from Epithet Erased is asexual and implied aromantic, Howie Honeyglow from Epithet Erased is aroace, Kusuo Saiki from the Disastrous Life of Saiki K is aroace. Unfortunately, aromantic people are very underrepresented and aroace representation in general is very limited. It can be seen that there aren’t any characters in media yet that are alloaro [people who can feel sexual attraction but not romantic attraction] which is a little unfortunate, we can only hope by spreading awareness about aromanticism that one day we may be represented more in media. (Written by @zedleaked)

Why the colors? Green and light green represents the aromantic spectrum, White represents platonic love and friendships, and Gray and black represents the spectrum of different sexualities

Where can I find the calendar? The calendar is my pinned post on my blog @hecateisalesbian! This will be occurring all throughout June, and tags such as #The Pride of June and #PoJ Project can be used to find my post

Special Message

”What does being aromantic mean: Aromantic is an umbrella term for people who do not feel romantic attraction or do not feel it most of the time. Romantic attraction is the desire to have a romantic interaction with another and potentially be in a romantic relationship with another. Aromantic people can be asexual at the same time or can just be standalone aromantic.

Fun history fact: The term aromantic started being used in 2005. There was an aromantic community formed on the AVEN: The Asexual Visibility & Education Network which was a community centred around asexuality. Guess these two really do go hand in hand!

Personal Experience: To break the professional language for a sec, figuring out whether you are aromantic or not is hard, especially if you are not asexual as well. When I was figuring myself out I often found that I never really developed crushes on others and that made me feel weird since romance is so mainstream and talked about and for some reason I don’t feel these weird butterflies in my stomach or something? I guess I’m just weirdo! Sure, I can find people attractive and cute but I didn’t feel that romantic feeling. As a kid I would try and just scan other kids in my class to try and figure out if they’d be a good partner. I didn’t know that there had to be some kind of feeling to get in a relationship with someone. I just thought people would go ‘hey this person is nice and cute, I will be their partner!’ but that’s definitely not how it works. I would find it hard to differentiate romantic and platonic love because I mean… love is love…? I mean some would say romantic love is doing stuff like cuddling, holding hands, kissing, hugging… but you can also do that platonically, right? There’s just that extra step in romantic love that I just can’t see because I can’t experience that extra step. There are moments where I think I feel love but I realise that at the time I was just really eager to be their friend as I get very excited when meeting someone like me but if I really thought about if I would be in a romantic relationship with that person… the answer would probably be no. Some aromantics can feel lonely as they can’t feel romantic love and they don’t have the desire to devote their life to a person, but remember that you still have those platonic relationships and they can be just as strong if not stronger than romantic ones, nothing is better than hanging out with a really awesome friend. If you believe you’re on the aromantic spectrum but are unsure, try doing some research for yourself as there are many terms under the umbrella that may fit you! Demiromantic for example is when you only feel romantic love when close to someone or grey-romantic is when you feel fluctuating levels of romantic love but as a whole barely experience it”.

[i-can-even-burn-salad]

Till Death

[ID: The title of the story, till death, written in light green, brush-stroke letters over a photo of a blonde woman in black clothing, walking through a dense forest, facing away from the viewer. All other images are divider lines, showing four small brass bells. End ID]

Her garment covered him like a soft green blanket. It didn’t keep him warm, because there was no warmth to keep, but it made him feel a bit safer. One tiny barrier between his broken body and the teeth of the forest, but perhaps it was enough. Perhaps she was going to stay with him until it was over.

📖 Synopsis

Finnian is a wandering healer down on his luck. When one of his patients dies, the village turns against him, beating him half to death and abandoning him for thirst and scavengers to finish what they started.

Eilis lives deep in the forest, hiding from the world. When she finds him, impaled on a tree and barely alive, she can‘t leave him to his fate, even if it means upending the peaceful life she has built for herself.

As Finnian slowly recovers, days filled with quiet companionship make the prospect of him staying less daunting than either of them had expected. But he carries too many scars, and Eilis too many secrets, threatening to destroy their fragile relationship as the shadows of the past draw closer. When everything falls apart, will they save each other, or will the price be too high?

📖 About

Genre: Dark Fantasy Love Story

POV: Third person past tense, dual POV

Wordcount: 110k

Status: final_final_v2_thisone.doc

Content Warnings: Graphic depictions of violence, gore and rape, including, graphic eye/hand trauma, attempted hanging, strong deathwish, insects, animal attacks, torture (whipping, strangulation, cutting, flaying, burns, broken bones), forced to watch, self-sacrifice, abusive marriage & childhood trauma

Vibes: left for dead / falling leaves / “please don’t leave me” / crows on the branches / making fire (the novel) / sweet berries / small touches / “i'm sorry” / the chiming of bells / a stubborn goat / unreliable magic / the smell of honey and milk / “don’t hurt her”

Moodboard | Playlist | Lego Finn & Eilis!! :D | Printed Version | "Advertisment" | Locket | Another Ad | The Black One

AU: Forsaken - Forgiven - Forever

Custom artwork links below, contain spoilers as well as sketchy violence and gore <3

Left for Dead | Despair | Worry | Compliance | Forced to Watch | No other Way | The Wheel | Happy End

📖 Cast

Finnian

As a healer who cannot use his magic to heal, Finnian has spent the last fifteen years barely scraping by. He hates his profession, he hates people, and most of all, he hates himself. Unfortunately for him, someone else hates him just as much.

Eilis

Deep inside the forest, in a little hut with only her ducks and goats for company, Eilis is hiding from her past. She can’t trust, she can’t speak — but she also can’t turn the wounded stranger away, even if it means risking her heart.

📖 Tags

There aren’t many, because I have yet to think of a tag for the two protagonists. The only tag I am currently using is #wip: till death, for tag games and ask answers talking about this wip.

I don’t know what genre to call it — it does not quite fit the common cornerstones of Dark Fantasy, or Dark Romance, but oh boy, it definitely is dark.

It won’t be posted on Tumblr, instead arriving directly as ebook, because I am just done dealing with this site.

As of Aug 20th, the first draft is done at 110k words! Now I'll bother my friends, let it rest for a few weeks, then edit it. Fingers crossed!

It's out! Download the ebook here.

[tornrose24]

GREETINGS, NERDS! IT'S YOUR BOY, BILL CIPHER! I HAVE POSSESSED THE BODY OF TORNROSE24 FOR THIS POST IN REGARDS TO MY ROLE IN THAT DISNEY CHANNEL THEMED RESIDENT EVIL VILLAGE AU!

So you likely saw those drawings of that Resident Evil Village Au (hilarious, I know) and are wondering ‘but I want to know more about Bill. Why is his human form some old dude that wouldn’t be useable for a Tumblr sexyman contest? WHERE’S MORE INFORMATION ABOUT BILL AND HOW DID HE TAKE OVER THE PINES?! AND HOW IS HE COMPARABLE TO EVELINE WHEN HE IS FAR SUPERIOR?!’ Well worry not, nerds, for I shall tell you MY side of things:

MY TIME IN THE VILLAGE:

-See, I grew up in that dumb village. The so called ‘Father Belos’ implanted a cadou at me at a young age. I was a massive success, of course, and he decided to make me part of his so-called ‘family.’ As for my real, biological family? Well… the less you know the better. Other than that their remains are somewhere in the surrounding woods.

–FYI, his REAL name is Philip and his big goal is trying to get his big bro back. He already tried the cloning gig and it didn’t work. And he thought he could use MY body to get Caleb back?! Ha! Fat chance, dingus!

-So I was given power and prestige for a time. I had my own lab where I inserted cadou into SEVERAL people and got a few henchmen out of the deal. Meanwhile, I had fun screwing with everyone’s minds and visiting them in their dreams thanks to some good old mental astral projection and what not. (And helping to get rid of anyone unwanted…. Fun times!)

-Those four other lords? They’re losers. I can’t believe they are meant to be my ‘siblings’ as ‘Father’ puts it.

-Oh, but I’ve visited their minds and know their fears! One has nightmares about losing her hunky husband and baby girl. One has nightmares about ‘what could have been,’ being alone, and having guilt issues. One is worried she’ll lose control of her mutation and kill everyone. The other… eh, just typical ‘always rejected by my family’ and weirdly about platypuses for some reason. (That’s the one I go to the most when I want to be amused).

-Ah yes, their heirs… my ‘nieces.’ My personal favorite is Meteora–what an adorable little hellspawn! She tried biting me several times and it’s a ticklish kind of painful! Also she’s already making the best demonic faces and crawling up walls! I hope for the best for her!

–I decided to be funny and visit the girls’ nightmares. Metora is a baby, so there’s not much in her little brain, besides worrying about getting separated from her parents. The others though? One is worried about causing pain to her family and friends and blames herself for it. Another is afraid that Belos is going to find out about ‘the big plan’ (which I won’t spoil, of course). The last one just wants a normal life.

-So I wasn’t too keen on being an underling and tried to take over the village with MY underlings. Unfortunately, the other lords managed to turn on me, my henchmen were dead, and **** brains decided to punish me. He couldn’t kill me himself, so he injected something that would make me age faster than that decaying apple you refused to eat as a kid, instead of aging slowly like the others. (Oh, I wonder if Belos told the two losers who adopted the girls who got injected with cadou that they might age slowly like they will? They will be so PISSED considering those girls still have their biological families around. I think it’s HILARIOUS! Or I don’t know, maybe they aren’t aging slowly. Getting a cadou is the dumbest lottery scam ever.)

–And how did ‘Daddy’ get rid of me? Well Fordsy was visiting the village and I managed to sweet-talk him into taking me home with him. Belos was all too glad to be rid of me.

–What? Was there anything between me and Ford? MIND YOUR DAMN BUSINESS! I’m not telling you anything!

MY TIME WITH THE PINES–

-What a dumbass! Ford took me to his house while his family was there! So I quickly got most of them under my control with the exception of his brother and great-nephew. (Eh, it was easy–I just used a little infection on them). Stan managed to get Dipper away, but little did he know that I infected the boy with something.

–See, as much as I enjoyed having my own ‘family’ I needed to ditch my rapidly aging husk and get a new one. Dipper was initially my best candidate, but I had the others trick several young men and boys into getting to the house so I can infect them and get my new body. Unfortunately, all the bastards died–they weren’t compatible. Meanwhile, I was using my favorite projection as a disguise–a certain triangle form that you all love and want to kiss (you disgusting freaks! I know you love me, but I don’t want EVERYONE’S SALIVA all over me at the same time! One at a time, please!)

–So Dipper realized what was happening to him and–wanting to get his family back–snuck onto the grounds. It was around this time that Heart-Cheeks and her friend, Beauty Mark were tricked into coming to the Pines residence. (I think they were on a summer vacation). I had the Pines snatch Beauty Mark away and they helped me infect him while I left Heart-Cheeks at their mercy.

–Speaking of which, would Mabel count as my ‘daughter?’ I’m sure my nieces would have loved her. Especially that really preppy-happy one.

-Knowing my time was short, I sped up the infection in Dipper and I did it a little too fast because he was starting to crystalize while trying to help Heart-Cheeks. I had better success with Beauty Mark.

–Unfortunately that ASSHOLE Stan eventually came to save his family and teamed up with Heart-Cheeks. Also, Dipper managed to make a serum that Heart-Cheeks used against me and cut off my ability to create illusions and get in people’s head. I. WAS. PISSED!

–Well, the joke’s on her. I left that infection in Beauty Mark, but changed it up a bit. Let’s just say that if Belos knew what it was that I put into the boy, he would immediately get the kid and use him for his ultimate scheme.

-Unfortunately, I DIED. Calcified into dust when Heart-Cheeks smashed me to bits, with some help from some military-looking people. And yes–Stan dealt the final blow. Asshole.

-And I’m now stuck in the Megamycete’s consciousness/realm/whatever you want to call it thanks to the connection some of us share with it. The only way I can have any fun is to give those losers nightmares. Last I heard, the Pines family was freed from my control, Dipper's body went back to normal, and all my victims managed to escape... WHAT KIND OF–?! I wanted violence and trauma, damnit!

-Ah well. Heart-Cheeks will have to deal with Belos and my four ‘siblings’ soon enough.

–Well, looks like my connection is failing and I’ll lose control of this idiot’s body soon. Hope you had fun reading this, because I’m thinking of possessing YOU next. Also, tell your Mom I said hi–I hope you took that DNA test like my canon self suggested.

[xojennyboo]

A/N: Another update!!! I can’t apologize enough for not posting consistently. I’ll try to do better but unfortunately life gets in the way. I hope you enjoy this small update. Please continue to read, vote, and suggest what you want to read. Please follow me here and on tumblr, I use the same username. Enjoy!

When you're truly in love with a person, it feels like time stands still. You feel like you're on cloud nine and no one can tell you otherwise. You will go out of your way to protect the one you love and to fight for that love. Relationships aren't easy, they're complicated. They go through different phases and experiences some good and some bad, hoping that in the long run things will end up being okay.

Your relationship with your boyfriend Harry has been a rollercoaster for the past couple of years. Thankfully, most of your moments are good. When things do end up getting bad though, it was a habit to get it resolved that same day or the following day. Unfortunately, right now, you and Harry were having a fight and weren't speaking to each other.

It all started when he decided to take you to an after party for the Grammy's. You were definitely star struck by the many celebrities that were attending. at this point in your relationship, you understood the role Harry played in these events. He was loved and liked by many, and you were fortunate to call him yours and know him in ways that no one else did.

One thing you had to get accustomed to was how friendly Harry was .it wasn't a bad thing, you never thought it was, but it was difficult at times when Harry didn't realize when someone was being excessively friendly or flirty. That's exactly what had happened that night. There were drinks involved, too many for your liking. There was a specific celebrity who was all over Harry. Many knew about your relationship with Harry, it wasn't a big surprise. But the nerve of this person was getting to you.

That night you felt disrespected and neglected throughout the entirety of the event. You smiled when you had to and took photographs when needed. You stayed in the background and watched the love of your life shine. You couldn't help but feel rage when she would put her arms around him or whisper in his ear. You just wanted to grab her ponytail and yank her across the room. But you held back, not wanting to create A scene.

Your face expressed everything to Harry though. The many times he would scan his surroundings in search for you told him he had fucked up. But for the time being, he had a lot of alcohol in his system to fully grasp anything. He would just catch your eye and give you a small smile, smiling back to not raise any suspicion. By the time you got home, you helped Harry out of his suit and tucked him in. Inside you were very upset. You couldn't sleep at all that night, deciding to stay in the living room and watch your favorite comfort show the rest of the night.

The following morning you started cleaning the apartment, which was occasionally something you did when you were upset. it was definitely a give away to Harry. He woke up that morning with a minor headache. He was very thankful to find 2 painkillers with a glass of water on the nightstand. He took them and got up to start his day. He thought about the night he had, hanging out with his peers and having a blast. What had made it special was having you by his side. Once he was done showering, he went downstairs and saw you excessively cleaning. We’re talking micro cleaning, where you would clean everything from the cabinets or reorganize everything. "Hey, good morning love", you hear him say as you cleaned the sink. "Morning", your back was facing him. He furrowed his eyebrows in confusion at your tone of voice and actions.

"Is everything alright?", he stepped closer to you your body stiffening a bit. You simply shrug your shoulder at his question not caring how bratty you were being. "Y/n, honey talk to me", he stepped closer, his hands placed on your shoulders. You flinched away from him, walking away from him and into the living room leaving him appalled. "Y/n", he followed you, not leaving the matter. You didn't respond. You hear him sigh in frustration behind you, your behavior ticking him off. "So, are you just giving me the silent treatment all day?", his voice going up in volume compared to his gentler one used a few minutes ago.

Again, you didn't answer. You grabbed the cushions from the sofa and fluffed them, not paying him any mind. "Well, when you stop acting like A bratty child, Ill be in the room", he says, starting to walk away. "Now you know now it feels", you say. He stops in his tracks and turns around. "What on earth are you talking about?", he frustratingly says. You roll your eyes annoyed at his cluelessness. You knew that he remembers everything, even when drunk. "Last night, you ignored me all night. Too busy with your friend to even notice", you yell, your fury just coming out at this point. "My friend? What are you on about", he says back.

"Harry don't play dumb with me. I know you remember everything from last night. did you not realize she was all over you, pushing me to the side”, your hand moving as you yelled at him. "You were too drunk to even bother to go talk to me. Do you know how fucking stupid I felt watching my boyfriend getting touched excessively by someone else!!”, your eyes stinging from the tears threatening to spill out. "I looked at you the whole night to make sure you were alright. You smiled back!', he defends himself. "You don't fucking get it Harry”, you slop down on the sofa, attempting to control your shaky hands. "What is there to get!! You knew what you signed up for when we got together. You knew the baggage", he says. You didn't bother saying anything just standing up and storming into your room, locking the door so he wouldn't come in. You were so tired physically and emotionally, that you didn't realize when you had fallen asleep.

Harry's POV:

We hadn't spoken in 3 days. This has been the longest fight we’ve ever had. That night was a bit blurry, and I do remember y/n being distant. I guess I had too much alcohol in my system to realize that she was all over me. I do feel like an asshole but something in me didn't want to reason with her. The day of our fight I had stormed out of the apartment after y/n locked herself in our room. I had a writing session with Tom that day. He eventually told me what had happened. He basically scolded me for being a dickhead to y/n. I felt like such an idiot.

I let things cool down a bit. Y/n still wasn't talking to me, but we slept in the same bed every night and she still included me in dinners, breakfasts, and lunches. She was keeping her distance. So today I woke up early to go on a run. On my way back I went to a nearby flower shop and bought a bouquet of her favorite flowers. I also picked us up some breakfast from our favorite breakfast spot around the corner. I also got her favorite coffee. Luckily the walk back home wasn't long, arriving in 5 minutes.

When i got in, I heard the shower on, she was awake. I set the table really quick and placed the bouquet right in the middle of the table. By the time I was finished she was done getting ready and walking in the kitchen. She abruptly stopped, looking at the scene in front of her. "What's all this?", she asks, stepping closer to the table to look at everything. Her eyes instantly lit up when she saw the flowers. "I am an idiot and I'm sorry", I say, cautiously walking towards her, she didn't back away, a good thing. I place my hands on her shoulders, her body relaxing against my touch. Her back was facing me as she looked at the table once again.

"Please forgive me", I whispered. She didn't say anything for a couple of seconds. She let out a sigh as she turns around in my hold looking up to me. Looking into her eyes I take a glance of the pain that I had caused her. We’ve gone through thick and thin together, gone through small arguments which were always fixed right away. I love her deeply and we shared a special bond together. I should've taken a closer look at how she felt and understood where she was coming from.

Y/n embraces me in a tight hug. Tears sting my eyes as I hear her cry. I hated hearing and seeing her cry, especially when I was the cause of it. "I'm so sorry my love. Please don't cry", I say, kissing the top of her head. I cup her face, seeing her red puffy eyes. I wipe them with my thumbs, placing small kisses all over her face which causes her to laugh. "I'm such an idiot. I love you so much y/n " I say placing a gentle kiss on her lips. "I love you too", she finally breaks her silence causing a huge smile to break out on my face. "Does this mean I'm forgiven?”, I ask hopeful. "Mmm, yes, but you have a lot of making up to do", she says, sitting on the chair to start eating her breakfast.

"I will do anything for you. You're too important to me. I don't want to lose you", I seriously say. She looks at me with adoration. "You won't lose me Harry", she quietly says. "I will always be here for you", she says, taking a hold of my hand across the table. "I love you", those three beautiful words filling up my heart with so much joy.

For the remainder of the breakfast, we talked over our days apart. Her laughter filled the room, her eyes shining bright with light. I couldn't keep my eyes off of her. She was captivating in every sense of the word. "Why do you keep looking at me like that?", she interrupted my trance. "You're beautiful", I tell her. She stayed silent, a small blush appearing on her face. "I love the way you blush every time I compliment you”, I say, standing up and walking towards her on the opposite side of the table.

“The way your body reacts to my words, my touch”, I say leaning into her body and closer to her ear as I let my words settle. I can feel her chest rising and falling against mine. I love feeling her body, her touch.

Y/N POV:

His words were captivating you in ways unimaginable, your breathing picking up in pace as he whispered in your ear. You feel his fingers trace against your arm, goosebumps forming on your skin due to his touch. this felt so erotic. “I want you, y/n”, he kisses against your ear. “I want you in ways I cannot explain myself”, he confesses, his kisses moving against your face, small pecks leading towards your lips. “Be mine y/n. Let me show you how much I love you. You’re the only one. My one and only. The only woman I want to spend every minute of everyday with”, tears now spilling from your eyes. “Don’t cry my love. Please. Let me make it better”, he says, his lips centimeters away from yours. “Y-yes”, you whispered. Without other words he connected your lips together and kissed you with so much passion. His hands cupping your face, deepening the passionate kiss, taking your breath away. Your hands rose up towards the back of his head, fingers intertwining with his curls, pulling him closer to you, as if that were even possible.

He moaned against your lips as you tugged on his hair. His kissed down to your chin and down to your neck, nipping at the skin making you moan. “Harry”, you whisper, his face buried against your neck as his hands explored every inch of your body. His hands reached your ass, tapping it as a signal to jump up. You did as instructed, as your legs wrapped around his waist, hands cupping your thighs as he led you through the apartment. He led you towards the bedroom, where he plopped you against the mattress. He didn’t waist any time removing your clothes and his, leaving you both naked in seconds. “Goodness you’re such a goddess”, he kissed down your body, leaving wet kisses and licks against it, your body reacting to every action he made. He kissed down your navel until he reached, you’re aching core. You let out a gasp once his tongue made contact with your clit.

"Mmm. You taste so good", he mumbles against your core. His tongue circles your clit and moves down to your wet entrance. His hands gently placed on your waist, your hands reaching down to intertwine with his, gripping them tightly as his tongue explored your aching pussy. Your hips moved to the rhythm of his

Tongue his nose pressing against your clit. "Oh, fuck H-Harry. Feels so good", you moan out, the sensation of his tongue licking you becoming too much. Harry placed small longing kisses against your clit, before kissing up your body again and attaching his lips to yours in a needy kiss.

“I can never get enough of you, do you know that?", he mumbles against your lips. “Me too Harry", you gasp as he sucks on your neck leaving a small red bruise. "I need you. Now.", you say to him, wrapping your legs around his waist bringing him closer to you. Quickly, he positions himself in front of you and slowly inserts himself in you making you both moan in unison. "Always ready for my cock aren't you baby", he moans against your ear, thrusting with each word. "Yes, yes. Always ready", you moan back, his rhythm picking up.

All you could hear as you close your eyes was the sound of skin slapping skin .it was the most erotic sound ever and you couldn't get enough of it. The feeling of him inside you felt heavenly .it was the perfect fit, the perfect size. Harry always made you feel loved and desired. He knew the kinks you were into and was always opened to trying new things with you. He always made you cum whenever you had sex, which was such a turn on. He also enjoyed leaving marks on you and vice versa. it was to remind you both of your want and desire for one another.

His grunts against your ear brought you back to reality. He was close, feeling his muscles tense along his back as your hands roamed down it, reaching his butt and squeezing it lightly causing both of you to laugh. "Let me ride you", you say, his movements slowing down listening to your words. Without giving it a second thought he flipped you both over positioning you on top. You take ahold of his hard wet cock and slide onto him, both your heads falling back at the feeling of your wetness against one another. His body tenses as you slowly ride his cock, moving up and down, your hands placed on top of each of his pecs.

"You look amazing riding me honey", he says, taking ahold of your waist. You felt your orgasm coming and you start riding him faster and harder, his hips meeting you halfway. "Fucking hell baby, I'm gonna cum", he moans, taking control of your movements and thrusting upwards into you, your head falling back at the intensity of his thrusts. "Oh fuck!", you moan loudly and soon you came and let your orgasm take over your body riding out your high. Harry came soon after. After the intense organ you both had, you cuddled in each others' arms and talked about the most random things. You hated fighting with Harry, but you loved him, nonetheless. He was yours through and through and you were his until the end.

[lifeascaty]

I've been away from tumblr for a few months. In October 2021, my Dad was diagnosed with Stage 4 neuroendocrine pancreatic cancer. I felt like my whole world was falling apart. He already followed me on tumblr, so I filled my feed with things he would like so he had something new and interesting (or a cute cat) to see every day. (I was already posting a lot for him, but now my queue was entirely for him.) It was a small thing, but I wanted to do anything to help make him smile or distract him. As it was a neuroendocrine cancer, there were treatment options, and soon he was back to living life as if nothing was wrong. But I still kept my queue running for him. In November 2023, a scan was misread. They told my Dad his cancer was responding well to treatment, and he wouldn't need any more nuclear medicine for two years. Unfortunately, this mistake meant my Dad passed away on January 26th 2024. There's no question that this is the worst thing to ever happen to me. My Dad is the person I am/was closest to in the whole world. I've never felt pain like this. I don't know what to do with my tumblr now. I've had it for over a decade, but I've been posting for my Dad for so long that it feels wrong to post without him. I know that's silly. I just miss him so much.

I'm going to post the eulogy I wrote for him below the cut. I don't expect anyone to read it, but I want it to exist somewhere online. I'm really proud of it. It has mistakes - repetitions of words etc. - but I also think it's the best thing I've ever written, because it's about my Dad.

As a professional writer, I’ve felt a lot of pressure to write a eulogy that does my Dad justice. The problem is, I don’t think that’s possible. Especially without him here to give me notes. My Dad has always given me his opinion on my writing at whatever stage it was at, bouncing ideas back and forth with me and arguing over intricate punctuation but, on this occasion, he can’t. I hope he’d like this anyway.

I could talk forever about my Dad. There are so many things I want to tell people about him, about his love and excitement for the world and his joy in getting to live each day. To quote Marcus Aurelius, as my Dad often did, “When you arise in the morning, think of what a precious privilege it is to be alive – to breathe, to think, to enjoy, to love.” This sentiment defined him, really.

My Dad and I have so much in common. We traded books back and forth. He introduced me to his favourite shows and I showed him mine. He showed me his favourite movies from when he was growing up, and we were always first in line to see new releases at the Odeon in Wrexham. I would spend hours hanging out on the couch in his study as he worked and played music, talking me through his love and admiration of various songs and bands, like Led Zeppelin, Genesis, The Jam, The Smiths. We talked a mile a minute over dinner, always excited to share whatever new thing we’d learned that day. We experimented with various recipes and he gave me my love of cooking. We debated politics constantly, always talked about what was in the news, forwarded interesting posts and memes to each other across multiple social media platforms. Even when I lived on another continent we were in contact with each other every day, keeping track of our respective timezones so we could always find time to talk.

My heart aches every time I read a news article about some interesting new archaeological finding or a new discovery in space, because I want to share it with him. There are so many movies we planned to see, upcoming TV shows we wanted to watch, books we were waiting to be released.

I want to talk to him about the new Taylor Swift album and the Grammys she just won. As some of you may know, my Dad was a Swiftie – he was in the top 0.5% of Taylor Swift Spotify listeners last year. He was a fan of her before I was, often falling asleep to her 1989 album on international flights. He bought us tickets to see her Eras Tour together this summer and we were so excited. I can’t describe the pain I felt when last month he told me that I’d have to go and enjoy it without him. Because he should be here to see it with me. He loved stained glass – even taking classes and making his own artwork. He promised to teach me this summer, and now I’ll have to do it without him. But I’ll still do it. Like I’ll still go to the Eras concert – because it’s what he would have wanted, and because it keeps his memory alive.

I recognise how lucky I am that he is my Dad. So many things had to happen to make it so. Various ancestors had to meet and have children. My parents needed to be born, needed to both decide to go to the same university, needed some anonymous admin person to assign them both to the same university halls where they would ultimately meet. All so that one day I would come in to being and he would be my Dad. The chances of that happening, for everything to have gone right, are so infinitesimally small. And yet they happened. How miraculous is that?

I am who I am because of him. As a young man, he reviewed books for The Oxford Times and Interzone, a Sci-Fi and Fantasy magazine. (He was particularly proud to interview Terry Pratchett, his favourite author, and have his quote used on Pratchett’s books for years to come). He fell in love with stories and storytelling, a love that he passed down to me. Without him, I don’t know if I would have become a screenwriter and author. Storytelling is such a huge part of me, and I don’t know who I’d be without it, and without him. 

There are so many big, impressive things that my Dad did and achieved through his lifetime, but the things that make up a life are the smaller moments. My parents dancing around his study to God Only Knows by The Beach Boys. His love of all our cats across the years and his special relationship with each of them. The time we went out into the garden, on a freezing cold night in November, to watch the Leonids – shooting stars – falling brightly through the atmosphere. Picking me up from Gobowen station every time I came back from London or undergrad, no matter how late my train was. His specific way of stacking the dishwasher that only I could emulate. Summer holidays swimming in the pool, eating ice cream together, and marvelling over his tan.

The problem with loving my Dad so much is that it’s incredibly painful now he’s gone. One of his favourite Marvel TV shows, Wandavision, had the line “what is grief, if not love persevering?” There is so much grief because there has always been so much love between us. And I am thankful for that. Thankful for him, and everything he has done to build a beautiful life for our family.

My Dad’s last words were beautiful. Something we often said to each other, from childhood to adulthood, was “I love you more than the moon, and the stars, and the wide, wide world”. I started saying it to him, none of us knowing the end was hurtling so quickly towards us. He smiled as I began to say the familiar words, and as my Mum and brother joined in, so did he, still smiling as he said “and the wide, wide world”. And that was it.

'To reference Marcus Aurelius once more, he talks in Meditations about how just a day–just a minute–of happiness, of perfection, of peace, is enough. The same goes for the people we love. That we ever had my Dad in the first place is a wonderful thing, something to be so grateful for. Whatever comes after, whatever fortune has in store for us in the future? It can’t change that. What happens next matters less because of the wonderfulness of having had my Dad at all.'

He is my best friend. He will always be my best friend. Whatever happened, I knew he would look after me. That he loved me and cared for me and that with him I was safe. He would look after our family, always. And he did. Even now we’re discovering things he did and put in place to make sure we were okay.

I know I need to stop talking, although, as I said at the beginning, I could talk forever about my Dad. I will finish with a quote from Terry Pratchett: “No one is finally dead until the ripples they cause in the world die away.” Hopefully my Dad will live forever.

[x-on-the-calendar-business]

ryan ross iceberg (tier 7)

tier 1, tier 2, tier 3, tier 4, tier 5, tier 6, tier 8

deep waters:

light up skechers fancam:

this is a fancam made by twitter user fleetwood_wac. the background song is skechers by dripreport, and i think it was a tiktok song? (i don’t have tiktok) in 2020/2021, it became famous on ryan ross stan twitter. i don’t think the original tweet is still up, but aryn has it in this reply.

side note, if you weren’t on ryan ross stan twitter in 2020, you were sorely missing out.

go figure. to late honey:

this is a quote from one of ryan’s livejournal posts from july 3, 2005. it’s SO iconic.

zrosswald:

this refers to ryan/z berg/alex greenwald. i think it’s meant to refer more to their friendship; the golden trio, if you will. however, i’m sure there are people who genuinely ship them all together, just like rydan.

they have been a tight group for a while, as z and alex both played with the young veins some. also, ryan and alex made appearances at z’s prom events.

eta: as i suspected, this is definitely a real ship.

here's a tumblr post explaining the ship dynamics a bit more. this blog has a lot of zrosswald content if you're interested!

kale:

on thanksgiving of 2011, ryan tweeted this:

in 2021, it became a meme in the ryan stan twitter community, and people tagged gordan ramsay in the tweet, asking his opinion on ryan’s cooking.

first male model for mac:

the story goes that in the fever era, the makeup company mac offered ryan a spot to be their first male model. unfortunately, he declined. according to the comments on a livejournal post i found, ryan discussed this in a 2006 spin magazine interview [i]. there were scans of the interview, but sadly, they’re not available, like most pictures on lj. it hasn’t been archived either.

the same commenter says that article doesn’t specifically mention mac, though. mac did offer ryan free products, but he doesn’t say if he accepted them [i].

so, it’s unsure if ryan was offered to be mac’s male model (unless there’s another source i’ve missed) or another brand’s. either way he turned it down. my guess is that the mac idea came from the fact that he used mac’s products back then.

beef with pete wentz:

after the split, brendon got pete in the divorce.

in a MTV interview that ryan did in 2009, it says “…he wishes Urie and Smith well and still considers them both to be his friends…The same cannot be said, however, about his former boss -- Decaydance Records honcho/ Fall Out Boy bassist Pete Wentz -- who seems to have clearly aligned himself with the Urie/Smith camp following the split" [ii].

in the same interview, ryan specifically says:

"I haven't spoken to him in a while, since this happened. I guess I've been meaning to call him back. He called me, but I've missed a lot of phone calls this week," Ross said. "We're not sure [whether Ross' and Walker's new band will be on Wentz's Decaydance Records]. I'll have to talk to him, but obviously from what's happening online, I think he's ... he's written a lot about them. I don't know if they're working together on their stuff. I'm not really sure, but it's been awhile since we've spoken. It's strange. It's kind of weird" [ii].

the author of the article speculates that ryan and pete’s friendship is over [ii]. i can’t find the source for this, nor can i remember what the specific comments were, but i swear that pete did make some shady comments about ryan at one point.

however, it does seem that their relationship is not on negative terms currently. in 2016, pete tweeted this and this about ryan [iii] [iv]. also, this year (2023), pete mentioned ryan in a video fall out boy posted of pete reviewing his old fashion! you can watch it here:

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Fall Out Boy (@falloutboy)

i’m also going to link an article i found that chronicles ryan and pete’s entire relationship, which is an interesting read (although i get the feeling they’re a little biased against ryan…).

ryan’s pet turtles:

i can’t find the post or comment, but on a lj post, ryan commented “this reminds me of when my dad ran over my pet turtles with the lawn mower. thanks.”

“i went to high school with ryan:”

i have two sources for this, and i’m not sure of which one is the original. however, this one is the one i remember seeing first (around 2014).

on tumblr, someone sent in an ask saying essentially the same thing, also in 2014.

i know that both are referring to the same thing; i’m just not sure if the first pic is based on the ask, or if the ask is based on the image. either way, the sentiment is the same.

honestly, i don’t think this story is true. still funny nonetheless

hot girls eating pizza:

this is another one i cannot find a source for anywhere (not even a tweet mentioning it), even though i was able to in the past. i apologize.

but i’m pretty sure that what this is about is a tweet/social media post in which he referred to hot girls eating pizza.

if anyone has a source or more information on this one though, please let me know!!

(i was going to dm the creator of one of the icebergs i referenced to ask her, but twitter won’t allow me to send dms to someone who doesn’t follow me unless i pay for twitter blue. i’m committed to explaining this iceberg but not enough to give elon musk my money i fear)

sent to an island:

in an alternative press interview from 2018, z said that on christmas eve, she shipped ryan off to an island to clear his head. ryan says, “true story” [v].

kate moss playboy:

in the following picture from ryan’s instagram, you can see a kate moss playboy on the table.

hentai:

in the fever era, panic did interviews for a japanese magazine. someone ran ryan’s portion through an image translation, and it brought back something about hentai.

eta: update, twitter user givememallce bought the actual magazine from japan and provided us with translations of this image and the questions the band was answering! they also included the answers from the rest of the band if you're curious about those [vi]. so the biggest shoutout to them and their service.

fake wedding with z:

in 2009, ryan and z pretended to be married. ryan tweeted a picture of z with a wedding ring, called her his wife, and also tweeted a quote of her calling him “the best husband ever” [vii].

later, he tweeted that his wife left in the middle of the night. he then had a revelation:

the best part is that all of these events took place within a single day.

here’s the masterpost with all the details:

not actually 5’11:

this is a conspiracy that ryan is lying about his height.

one piece of evidence was that brendon is 5’9, meaning ryan would be 2 inches taller than him. however, in a lot of photos they look to be relatively the same height.

the other piece is that multiple fans who have met ryan said that compared to their own heights, he can’t be 5’11. i don’t have specific sources of people saying that, but i know it was discourse on twitter at one point.

next is the final entry in the iceberg, where we get into the most obscure stuff the iceberg has to offer and finish this thing up.

tier 8

references:

[i] https://bandfandom-ref.livejournal.com/133181.html

[ii] https://www.mtv.com/news/1fedpk/exclusive-ryan-ross-talks-about-leaving-panic-at-the-disco

[iii] https://twitter.com/petewentz/status/794988164901261312

[iv] https://twitter.com/petewentz/status/795025751930114048

[v] https://www.altpress.com/ryan-ross-z-berg-the-bad-list/

[vi] https://twitter.com/GIVEMEMALlCE/status/1695649402663363028

[vii] https://pathetic-at-the-disco.tumblr.com/post/180912208431/ryan-ross-and-z-bergs-wedding-masterpost

[1moreff-creator]

People do intro posts here right-

Hello! I’m 1moreff-creator (nickname: FF, hope it's not confusing), and I’m your

Local Min Jeung Kinnie!

(Art from Danganronpa Despair Time's "Sleepy" MV)

I mostly do analysis posts and theories, but I occasionally post jokes and comics (with official sprites, I can’t draw to save my life), and the FF in my name is technically supposed to stand for “fanfic”, so I may live up to my name at some point and post one of those. I like to highlight words on my posts a lot, you may have noticed :p

I go by they/them. Aro/Ace.

Currently obsessed with DRDT, but you can talk to me about the mainline Danganronpa games, Heartless Deceit, Project: Eden’s Garden, Another and Another 2. Since I technically consider this multi-fandom, you can also ask me about BNHA (I love 1-B if you're interested), DbD (though I’m not sure what there is to talk about there), and FNaF. Yes, I’m well versed in the lore. No, I am not insane. Hopefully.

I recently made a full length video analyzing the David MV. You can find the two hour forty minutes thing in that link.

I also have an interest in Milgram, and have a sideblog about it: 1moremilgram-enjoyer. Speaking of Milgram, I'm writing a DRDT - Milgram crossover AU, you can find the links to everything under the cut.

If you want a better idea of what I usually do, here’s some of the posts I’m most proud of under the cut!

-Mai Akasaki Analysis. Extremely long, but probably my most well researched and well put together post. This thing is 15k words and half the length of the LGI script-

-DRDT Chapter 2 Murder Method Theory (Eden!Culprit Levi!Accomplice). After a long back and forth with thebadjoe, here’s the theory on the chapter 2 murder I came up with during the hiatus! Murder method and all. Pretty much outdated, unfortunately, as it doesn't seem to work anymore.

-The construction of the DRDT Chapter 2 Murder Method Theory (THREAD). This is the aforementioned thread of the back and forth I had with thebadjoe. Not really necessary to read if you’ve already read the summary above.

-Theory on the [REDACTED FOR DRDT CH 2 SPOILERS] method (THREAD). A thread on that other thing that happened in CH 2 of DRDT which only miraculously didn't end up with anyone dead. Featuring venus-is-thinking, accirax and thebadjoe all throwing out theories on the method.

-DRDT Reactions to "I fucked your mom last night". (Comic) Because for some reason Tumblr decided this should be my post with the most notes.

...

-Proving MonoTVid canon with LGI. what who said that.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

DRDT - Milgram Crossover:

>Undercover

>Voice Lines

>Levi First Trial

>Arturo First Trial

[mistress-ofmagic]

Around the Realms in 80 days - Chapter 19

Pairing: Reader x Loki

Story summary: You have fallen through a portal during the convergence into Asgard and come face to face with Thor, and his brother Loki. With no way to return, you must travel with the two men and their hoard of asgardian soldiers to get back home. Things get from bad to worse when you have to share a tent with the god of mischief himself.

Notes: 'Ey up! Phew, this chapter felt strangely frustrating to write at times, it wasn't always doing what I wanted it to do! I know I promised the fire realm this chapter but the words sort of wanted to do their own thing instead! Also a lot of this is not proof read (very sorry for some inevitable grammar and spelling errors). Am I posting this now instead of waiting so I can claim I actually uploaded this month? Yes? Anyway I hope you enjoy the next chapter!

Read this story on a03!

find all parts to this story on Tumblr here

“Okay guys, get into your positions we’re going to have a practice of the elbow grip…”

You groaned inwardly, hating every second of your current predicament. 

T minus 1 day until your trip to the fire-realm, and Stark had decided to shove you into a corporate self-defence class to probably make himself feel better about sending you to your doom the very next day. 

Unfortunately, the rest of the avengers were not around today, out and about doing what you could only assume was top secret avenger business.

Which meant, of course, that no one was available to babysit Loki, so, in a classic move that completely coincided with your luck so far, Loki was joining you on the self-defence course. 

To be fair, Loki seemed to be enjoying this even less than you did, mumbling every so often under his breath about “idiotic mortals” and sending deathly looks at poor old Darren doing the training. 

Darren, in his defence, was a pretty formidable guy. You don’t get to be security for Stark for nothing mind you, but you doubted he had ever had to face an extremely pissed off Asgardian warrior god with a hatred for humans who would rather be doing literally anything else than a self-defence class. 

It was pretty demeaning, which is probably why Stark had rubbed his hands with glee like a cartoon villain when he had told Loki he was going to have to spend the best part of his day doing this. 

Loki had argued that he could just stay in his room or do some training of his own, but Stark insisted that because no one was around to check he wasn’t “coming up with a nefarious plan to take over the world” every now and then, he had to stay under your watchful eye. Loki had then glared at you like this was your fault, and had been in a foul mood all day.

While Loki sulked next to you and passed the odd comment about Darren’s defence methods, you were talking vigilant notes. If you had any hope in literal hell that you were going to survive this, it was better to follow Darrens suggestions. Lest you have another troll incident which you hoped to avoid at all costs. 

The rest of your group split up into twos to practice some of Darrens moves.

You got up and stretched.

“Okay, stand up.” 

“No.”

You had expected this response, but is still made you roll your eyes.  He continued to sprawl across the plastic chair, legs wide open and eyes dark as he stared at you, irritated and bored. 

“Come on, I want to practice on you.”

“You can’t give me commands, little mortal.” He leaned forward and narrowed his eyes. An intimidating look for someone who didn’t know him. 

You narrowed your eyes back as you stared down at him.

“Have you finished threatening me? I really want to practice and no one else will partner with you. Believe me, I asked.” You mumbled the last bit under your breath. 

“This is pointless.” He said, for the 18th time that morning.

“For you maybe!” You spoke as loud as you could without attracting too much attention from the rest of the group.

“For me though, this could be a matter of life and death! It’s okay for you lot, you’re all trained in this sort of shit! The most combat training I’ve had is fighting people off for the last profiteroles at the buffet table on New Years Eve!” 

“You do jabber on about such tosh.” 

You ignored him and continued, 

“I could literally die in the next few days Loki. And you’re not even going to give me this chance to at least try and learn some simple manoeuvres that could help me?” You sounded dangerously close to whiney. 

“Norns above, stop screeching.”  He sighed and, to your surprise, stood up. 

 “I could teach you far greater techniques than these to maim an opponent.”

“Well I haven’t got time to learn about taking over a planet today. Let’s just learn some of these helpful grips.” 

You took your placements in front of each other. God he was tall. You suddenly felt a bit nervous standing like this in front of each other. He was also looking at you rather menacingly which wasn’t helping. 

“Stop looking at me like that.”

“Like what?”

“Like…you’re about to kill me.”

“Ah, if that were only possible.” He grinned at you.

You glared at him, unamused. 

“If someone is going to attack you they’re not going to be smiling and joyful.” 

“Well…okay, fine. Just…okay.” 

You looked at him, nervously.

“Are you going to get on with this?” He asked, exasperated. 

“Okay, I’m going to grab you by the elbow now.”

“Don’t announce to your assailant what you are going to do.”

‘I know that, I’m just warning you so you don’t freak out on me.”

You tried to picture in your mind what Darren had been telling you about the grips. If you hold onto someone between the elbow and bicep it’s going to be harder for them to swing at you. Bonus points if you could do it from a “four o’clock position” where they would have to twist in order to get you, giving you a couple of seconds to get away.

You stepped forward to grab ahold of just above his elbows, eyeing him suspiciously and not trusting he wouldn’t fight you back. 

“Well?” He raised an eyebrow.

You placed your hands tentatively on his (rather large) biceps and had to fight the embarrassing temptation not to squeeze them just to feel them under your hands. 

You cleared your throat and practiced the restraint. 

“Okay!” You smiled happily, getting a feel for how to do a simple restraint should it be needed. “Now let’s practice the other grips. You grip my wrists and i’ll get out of it.”  

He rolled his eyes but did what you suggested and took ahold of your wrists.  

When you realised you were basically holding hands with Loki of Asgard, your brain malfunctioned slightly. A sudden dizziness came over you and you felt like giggling like a school girl. Trying desperately not to concentrate on how his cool, slender fingers felt around your wrist you instead tried to focus on remembering how to get out of his hold. 

Unfortunately, the ridiculousness of the situation was taking ahold of you and you were feeling ready to give in to the fit of giggles threatening to overtake you. 

Loki frowned at you. 

“What has overcome you, girl?” 

“Nothing.” You cleared your throat and attempted to act like a serious person.  

You practiced swinging your arms back and twisting them, forcing him to let go of his grip on you. 

“That works!”  You looked up at him and smiled. 

For a brief second, you thought you saw Loki’s stern features soften slightly when you did so, but perhaps you imagined it. 

“I feel like you’re not gripping very hard.” You frowned. “Can you take a firmer gasp of my arm please?” 

Loki tutted, “If I take too strong of a hold, I’ll break your arm you silly chit.” 

“Well okay, don’t do that. Just make it a bit of a challenge for me so that it will be more realistic to when I face the enemies.” 

In a rare moment, Loki actually used your name “You’re not going to be going in and picking a fight with the fire demons.” His face twisted into a smile and you guessed he was imagining that scenario.

“That didn’t stop me from nearly ending up as a light snack for a troll last time.” 

“Look, I- Thor and the others will make sure you are unharmed. Just do what you do best, be observant and pick up on things the rest of them seem to miss about what is going on. There should hopefully be no need for you to engage in any combat.”

“Well I…” You shifted uncomfortably at his surprisingly kind words “I… could engage in combat if I wanted to.” You shot him a glare at the (correct) insinuation. 

“And a fierce warrior you would be, but the best form of defence is to not be in a compromising situation in the first place. Always take an opportunity to leave or hide, despite what idiots such as my brother may say, there is no honour in running headfirst in a battle you are going to loose if you have a chance to get away.”

You mulled on his words. Perhaps running away and hiding sounded much more your style anyway. 

Darren called everyone to listen again. He started talking about a more complex manoeuvre, how to get out if someone strangles you from behind. He demonstrated on a poor volunteer, showing how to pull their arms down, drop their weight and unravel themselves of the hold. 

Oh god, being held in a chokehold by the god of mischief felt a lot scarier than just getting out of grips. You gave a side glance to see how Loki was taking the news. His face gave nothing away. 

You couldn’t decide if he was going to relish the opportunity to strangle you or if he was going to be grossed out by being that close to you. Darren got you back into two’s to practice the move. 

“Okay listen, can you like be nice please? When you’re doing this?” 

Loki gave you a blank look.  

“Like when you, you know, strangle me, can you not actually strangle me please.”

Loki smirked and cocked an eyebrow salaciously.  

“Oh? You’d like that wouldn’t you?”

Embarrassingly, you felt your face heat up.

“N…no” You spluttered. “Stop being a perv and choke me.” 

“Never thought I’d hear you utter those words to me little mortal.” He continued to grin in an annoying way and got into position, wrapping his arm around your throat suspiciously quickly.

“Ugh. I think I prefer you threatening to kill me than flirting with me.” You lied out loud, hiding the strange feeling in your stomach that had started to arise. 

What was that feeling? 

Definitely not the time to be exploring it, so you pushed it deep down. 

You pushed his arm down from your neck, pushed your weight down slightly to try and put him off balance and span out of the hold quickly. The manoeuvre worked, you were able to spin out, but you doubted it would be that easy against an opponent who was actually trying to murder you. 

“Not bad.” Loki stated. 

You narrowed your eyes at him, “you’re being soft on me, which I know is what I asked you to do. I just feel like, in reality I’m not going to have a chance.” You said, sadly. 

“Absolutely not. Loki of Asgard is never soft.” He said, rigidly. 

“Did you just refer to yourself in the 3rd person?” You snorted. 

Before he had time to reply, Darren had called you back in. He demonstrated a few other techniques such as what to do if someone grabs your hair (lean into them rather than pulling away from them) or bites you (lean in and try and activate their gag reflex by pushing their face to your arm) but for obvious reasons you didn’t try and practice those with your partner. 

By the time the training was over, it was nearly dinner time and your stomach was starting to squeeze as the evening drew in; knowing that it wouldn’t be long until you were on your way to fire realm. 

As you made your way to the kitchen with Loki, he seemed to notice you were feeling worried. 

“Come, let us eat a hearty meal and get a good nights sleep to prepare for tomorrow. You have faced new ventures in the past and have always ended up fine. This is nothing that you haven’t already come across.”

You tried to shake yourself out of your slump.

“This is true. Nothing could be worse than coming across you.” You gave him a light, friendly bump to the arm as you walked next to him. 

Loki looked down at his arm and then you, giving you a strange look. By his stiff reaction, it seemed he was not used to playful shoves. Maybe that was an earth thing, you mused. 

“No, probably not.” He agreed with you, slowly. 

There was an awkward pause, and before you could open your mouth to explain you were bantering with him, Loki said, “excuse me.” And walked off in the other direction. 

“I was joking!” You called after him, but he didn’t look back.

“Bloody sensitive gods.” You muttered, making a mental note to remember that Loki might not always understand earth humour. 

Taking a deep breath, you headed to the kitchen alone. 

                                                                    ***

You stood at the strange, raised pattern on the ground where you had been thrown out when you had arrived back on earth through the Bifrost.  

The plan was to go back to Agard very briefly to meet the Asgardians joining you on your trip and then travel to the fire realm one one of their crafts. The Avengers were staying back, and continuing to look into the wormhole openings across Earth. You were pretty sure Natasha was on her way to Havana right now, while you prepared yourself to go to hell. 

Some people have all the luck. 

“Ready Latte?” Thor gave you a friendly clap on the shoulder that nearly bowled you over.

“Ready as I’ll ever be I suppose.” You sighed. 

Your phone buzzed in your pocket and you stole a quick glance. 

    Oliver: Hope your trip goes okay! Make sure you come back alive so we can check out more of New Yorks art ;) 

You smiled in spite of yourself and quickly formulated a response. 

   You: Wow, maybe now i’ll reconsider my decision to move in with the fire demons. 

You briefly caught Loki looking at you as you looked up from your phone and gave him a small smile which he barely returned. Since the incident after the course yesterday, you hadn’t spoke to him much; that evening he came in very late and then was up early again before you had chance to speak to him properly. What irritated you was that when he did speak, he was eerily polite but brief. He seemed distant somehow, and you were starting to think you preferred an outwardly annoyed Loki to a quiet and detached one. 

You looked up at Thor.

“So when are we setting off?” 

“Momentarily, just waiting for Stark to activate the - “

As he spoke, the pattern started admitting a blue glow, shooting straight up into the atmosphere. 

“Is this any good for the Earths ozone layer?” You asked, watching the tube of light hesitantly, knowing you were going to have to step into it and deal with the sea-sickness that accompanied travelling like that.

“Here we go!” Thor made like he was about to push you in again.

“Ah! Not this time, I’m going to enter it myself.” 

Thor chucked “As you wish my lady” and he stepped into the light. 

You thought you might be able to see him travel up the light, like being sucked up pneumatic tube, but in less than a blink of an eye he was gone. 

“You go next, I’ll follow you in.” Loki nodded at you.

“Okay.” You breathed. You closed your eyes and took a deep breath and stepped into the tunnel. 

It was just as awful as you remembered it to be, although this time you were prepared at least. You kept your eyes shut and concentrated not not being sick as you flew through the vortex. 

After what felt like a lot longer than it actually was, you arrived into Heimdall’s keep. Loki was quick to follow in behind you, but you didn’t pay too much attention, placing your hands on your knees and taking some deep breaths. 

“Does that ever get easier?” You choked. 

“Welcome back.” A deep voice spoke in front of you. 

You realised you were staring at a pair of brown boots, standing either side of a large silver point of a sword. You let your eyes draw up slowly as you stood to your height, following the ornate armour up to the golden eyes of the gatekeeper. 

You eyeballed him a little suspiciously, having never really felt you could trust the all seeing God ever since he seemed to refuse to come and pick you up and take you home when you first arrived. 

If you thought about it, really this whole thing was his fault, and you nearly opened your mouth to tell him so when - 

“Latte!” A joyful voice sounded from the entrance. 

“Fandral, Volstagg!” You grinned, happy to see your Asgardian pals.

You quickly walked towards them and Volstagg brought you into a bear hug that nearly squeezed the wind out of you, resulting in a very strange and unintentional yelp on your behalf.

Jesus, you had forgotten how accidentally rough the Asgardians could be.

Loki’s voice cut across the room. 

“Volstagg, you forget your strength, you are going to kill the mortal before we even arrive in Muspelhein.” 

Oh we’re back to “the mortal” are we? 

You turned to him, as he scowled at the scene before him. 

Loki did talk to you that night on the balcony about how being in Asgard was pretty difficult for him and he high key hated being there a lot of the time. All of three minuets had you been back in the realm and he was already resorting to his old tendencies. 

“Loki. Don’t you have somewhere else to be?” Fandral quipped. 

“Does he have to come along with us? Surely we’d be more effective without him.” Volstagg asked Thor.

You still felt kind of bad from touching a nerve yesterday, and you knew that being here probably sucked even more for him than it did for you. You considered sticking up for him but thought that it would piss him off more if a lowly mortal jumped to his defence, and might actually embarrass the guy. 

And there’s only so much sympathy you can harbour for someone who just called you “the mortal.” 

Loki rolled his eyes “Oh? You seem to be forgetting the countless times I saved you miserable cretins from certain death, usually by your own idiotic fault because you are all too impertinent to actually think about the danger of situations before you leap head first into them.” 

Before one of them could reply, Thor attempted to placate the situation.

“My friends, let us not forget Loki’s great wit which has helped us through many a battle. We are going to need all the brains we can to deal with Surtur.” Thors stated, grimly.  “Come, let’s not waste anymore time, we shouldn’t stay for too long lest face the wrath of my fathers temper.”  

Thor ushered you out onto rainbow road, but not before you snuck another glance at Heimdall who, disconcertingly, was looking at you back. 

“Ah!” Thor blocked your view of the Golden-eyed God and you looked round to see what he was exclaiming at. 

There were some horses waiting for your party, you assumed they were there to take you to the docks where you would then fly to the fire realm. 

“Can we Bifrost our way to the fire realm?” You asked. 

Fandral laughed uncertainly, “I have never heard the Bifrost be used as a verb.” 

You stared at him blankly. 

“But in any case, it is considered rude to blast our way into another realm, people tend not to take, er, too kindly to us showing up like that unannounced.”

“Not that that’s ever stoped us before.” Volstagg chortled. 

“Other realms have historically been rather touchy about Asgard having a way to travel through the realms so easily when they do not. It’s more polite to arrive through the proper way.” 

You supposed that made sense, it would be kind of annoying seeing another realm flash it’s fancy cool technology you couldn’t use every time it showed up. Sort of like seeing your annoying cousin turn up in their new car every Christmas. 

“Let’s move hastily.” Thor reminded you all again. 

Looking up, you quickly realised you were reminded about having to face riding horses again. Not a feat you had taken quickly to last time. In fact, you were pretty confident your horse riding days were over. 

“I can just walk.” You suggested, pulling a face at the huge beast that stood in front of you. 

Had you ever really thought about how much bigger these horses were compared to the horses on Earth?

Thor laughed heartily as he pulled himself up onto the horse. 

“Don’t worry my lady, you can ride with me.” Fandral winked at you as he offered you his hand. “We can catch up on our way over.” 

Fandral had a way of making even the most innocent things sound dirty. It was also weirdly comforting to see he was still back on his flirting bullshit. 

“There will be no catching up.” Loki stated, apparently already on his horse as he rode over to be slightly closer to you.  “The girl can ride with me. I would not want to subject her to your frivolous ways so early in our escapade.”

You considered referring to Loki as “the boy” but thought better of it incase he got his horse to kick you clean off the rainbow bridge and straight into space. 

“I really could just walk.” You shuffled not wanting to embarrass yourself as you tried to get up.

“Nonsense.” 

Having gotten a little bit closer with Loki, and spending a lot of time bickering with him, often made you forget how strong he really was; that he really was an Asgardian God capable of things beyond your imagination. 

But times like this, when he reached down with one hand and pulled you up and in front of him on the horse, you remembered his true strength. 

“Holy shit.” You grabbed onto something to steady yourself after the ground had just disappeared from under your feet. 

Realising too late you had, in fact, grabbed onto Loki’s knees, you let go as if you had dropped a hot potato. 

Loki snorted under his breath at you. 

“Shut up, you know I hate it when you do things like that.” You muttered back.

It felt strange, sitting like this on a horse with Loki again. As your party rode up to the top of the rainbow bridge (far, far faster than you would have liked) you realised you were rather happy you were riding with Loki, rather than Fandral. 

An odd change, given that the last time you were here and had to share a horse with the god behind you, you would rather have been literally anywhere else. You felt more relaxed this time, like you could even lean back against him. You didn’t though, of course. 

It didn’t take long to make your way up the bridge and towards the docks, where around 4 other Asgardian soldiers where there to greet you. You recognised the lady, the one that had come in and shouted at Loki for cutting her hair off once.

“Are we a bit thin on numbers?” You asked Loki behind you.

“Best not to go into Muspelhein with too many people, they will think we are coming to attack.”

“Sif! Hogun!” Thor jumped down from his horse in a very cool, swift movement that would have inevitable ended with you falling on your face if you attempted it. 

“We should leave.” The man Thor had identified has Hogun spoke. 

Loki leapt down from behind you as you started at the floor, looking forward to your descent even less than getting on the bloody thing.

 “Need some help?’ Loki shot you a shit-eating grin. 

You glared at him but nodded. 

He gave you a hand to help yourself down, which was quite a considerable jump.

“Very gallant of you.” You snarked. 

“I’m always gallant.” 

“I see why they call you the God of lies.”

Loki chucked lightly and you felt your heart soar. This was the friendliest he had been all day.

Mortified at the feeling you quickly distracted yourself by looking at your new method of transport, a sort of space-ship thing.

Without having much to go on with your limited experience of spaceships, this one seemed fairly small, and from what you could see if the inside, probably wouldn’t fit any more people than you had in your party, which was just as well. It was a silver/gray on the outside, and had some steps leading up to the seating area inside and you could just make out what you presumed to be the control area at the front. 

You followed Thor onto the ship and instantly felt drawn to the large glass front of the space craft, allowing you to see out into the space in front of you. 

“This is so…strange, it’s like I’m playing an arcade game or something.” You spoke out loud to yourself.

You blinked heavily a couple of times, as if you were trying to orient yourself to the surrealism of the current situation. Without thinking you looked around to remark about how strange this all was, before remembering that this was completely normal to your present company. A pang of loneliness hit you briefly, remembering how difficult it was to relate to most of the current people in your life. 

Sighing you took a place in the seating area of the ship, as Hogan stood at the controls. Once everyone was on, the steps rose back up into the ships floor and a metal sheath lowered to seal you in. 

Loki sat himself down next to you but you barley noticed, trying to take everything in. 

“Do you have the stone?” 

“Hm?” You didn’t comprehend his words. 

Loki tutted. “The stone I gave you, do you have it?”

“Uh, yeah.” You reached into your pocket and found it still sitting there. You pretty much always had it on you.

“Good.” Loki sighed, and sat back in his seat. 

You however, stayed on edge listening carefully to the clanking of metal as the ship started to set off. 

“Woah…” You whispered more to yourself, as you watched the stars pass by the window at the front of the ship. 

You stole a quick look at Loki next to you, and to your surprise you found him looking back at you, as if he had been watching you.

He blinked at you, rather ungracefully for Loki, and looked upwards.

You smirked to yourself, knowing that you had caught him out, but the satisfaction was only short lived as you took a deep breath, preparing yourself for the next part of your adventure. 

A/N: Woo! What did you think? All of your comments mean the world to me and are keeping me going as I struggle with gallbladder attacks rn!

Taglist:

@creationsbyme  @kikster606  @slytherinintj13  @th0rswh0res  @huntress-artemiss  @jannieka394 @stefffrs  @misswimberly @thedistractedagglomeration  @yoongissidebitchh  @purplekitten30 @mischief2sarawr  @johnmurphys-sass 

@lonadane  @imalovernotahater @lokisgoodgirl  @laliceee @dlwrish  @paetonnn  @lovelysizzlingbluebird @reas-writing 

[thearvariblues]

Yet another silly VegasPete idea I might write in the future, but I probably won’t, so I need to get it out of my system at least in the form of a tumblr post

Vegas finds out the way to recovery is long and fucking boring.

No matter how much Porsche begs him to help, Vegas simply can’t help him run the minor family (and let’s be honest, he doesn’t want to, not really). He’s still kinda weak, gets tired easily... So it’s up to Pete to keep Porsche from getting himself killed.

But it’s not fair to expect Pete to do that, and close Vegas’ secret deals that keep them fed, and do all the chores. And Vegas can’t deal with Porsche or the deals right now, he’s way too fucking exhausted for that, but he can deal with the chores. Slowly, sometimes painfully, but he can do it. And the doctors said that he shouldn’t be just sitting around anyway.

So, Vegas Theerapanyakul, the fearsome heir of the minor family, gets turned into a housewife... and finds out he’s kind of enjoying it, even. It’s almost relaxing in a way. Helps him calm his mind. And it makes him feel good that he can take care of Pete like Pete deserves. It makes him feel good that he can do something else than just cook (though Pete assures him that cooking is more then enough).

He does the dishes, sweeps and mops the floors, does the laundry (though there are... unfortunate accidents), the dusting... even cleans the bathroom without a single word of complaint. And he sings to himself, terribly and off-key, but Pete still finds it utterly adorable.

Vegas is taking his new duties seriously. So seriously he even keeps finding tips and tricks all around the internet. (Pete feels like he really needs to start easing Vegas back into the mafia life because this is getting out of hand. Vegas has started talking about gardening!) It’s all going quite well.

And then one day, Vegas basically reinvents mustard gas. Luckily, it happens when Pete is at home, and Pete knows what’s happening right away, because some gangs just don’t play fair and Pete is a good bodyguard and Chan’s training was extremely thorough. So he saves the situation and proceeds too yell at Vegas because “You fucking idiot, you could have gotten yourself killed!”

“But it was a hack–” Vegas tries weakly.

“There’s a reason why we don’t try every stupid hack we see on Instagram, Vegas!”

“It wasn’t on Instagram!” Vegas protests. “It was on TikTok! Macau sent it to me, and he said hia, you GOTTA try this one, believe– Oh, that little shit!”

And that, kids, is how Macau gets grounded (”You can’t ground me, phi, I’m not your child!” “Would you prefer it if I shipped you off to the main family to take care of you?!”), Vegas gets grounded too (”You can’t ground me, Pete, I’m literally your boyfriend.” “Fucking WATCH ME, Vegas!”), and TikTok gets permanently banned in the household, making poor Macau the uncoolest teenager ever.

[magicshopaholic]

hey, do you read fic at all? i was wondering if you had any recs, i feel like i don't see you interact with fic a lot on here! i love your stories, so wondered what are your favorite authors too :]

Hello! The short answer to this is yes, but it comes with the caveat that I haven’t read much lately, primarily because I have no time but also because now that my characters are getting more and more fleshed out with every fic, reading other fanfic feels like my members are cheating on their OCs 😕 (I read this really good Namjoon fic where he met the reader at a party, and spent a whole week imagining Namjoon cheating on Kaya with that Y/N and it kind of killed me)

Having said that, I still do read fics when I can, definitely those that don’t interfere in my head with my OCs. I’m joining collabs and book clubs as much as I can so that I read more; but in the meantime I’d love to recommend some of my favourite fics and authors to you and any other readers:

(Please read the warnings on each fic before proceeding)

1. Poetry of the Stars by @jjiimin: This is the best fic I have read my entire life (barring one legendary series in the HP fandom - iykyk) and I honestly have nothing else to say about it. Riley has unfortunately deactivated her Tumblr account but I’m so glad I got to tell her how incredible her story was before she did so, so this is my number one. It’s 25K+ words iirc and was one of the first fics I read in the fandom and I just read it all in one go because I couldn’t stop.

(Also a favourite is Irresistible by the same author but I unfortunately don’t have a link to it)

2. @sahmfanficbts: There’s no fic mentioned here because I recommend Sam’s entire masterlist. She’s one of my all time favourite authors in the fandom and I have read and will read every single BTS fic she ever posts. Every fic is so immersive and every character is so deeply developed that they just stay with me and I find myself thinking about them at random times. Just beautiful, fantastic writing.

3. The Rich Man’s Crochet Club series by @kpopfanfictrash: Funny, quippy dialogue is my absolute favourite thing and this series has some of the best combination of humour and heart. Shanna’s works are pretty popular so you may have already checked this one out but I’m gonna recommend it anyway. (I remember coming on anon to gush about it because I was shy af, but I absolutely loved it, Shanna :))

4. Four Seven Eight by @jiminrings: This is the one I’ve read most recently and I’ve had it in my drafts since then so that I don’t forget to write a review because it deserves a great one. So here’s my apology to Hannah for taking so long to do it 🤓 but this is an amazing series, full of angst and hope and has my recommendation for sure.

5. For The Crown by @chimknj: I don’t read mxm fics, particularly mxm smut, but there was no way on earth I was going to pass on this one. Gina and I share an obsession with A Song of Ice and Fire (and I mean OBSESSION - we talk about it 24x7) and the premise of this fic was so compelling and so exciting to discuss that the only thing better than that was actually reading it. The way Gina has written this - I was transported to Westeros instantly. Everything is subtle and nuanced and I found myself connecting with every single character (also Kingsguard!Namjoon was not something I knew I needed). Idk if she’s planning on writing future parts but if she is… fuck, I’m so excited I can’t even talk about it.

6. A Silent Heart Still Beats by @akinnie75: This is another fic I have in my drafts because its review deserves my entire attention. It deals with some difficult topics but is so sad yet hopeful. The OC is such a beautiful character inside and out and this doesn’t usually happen to me with fics, but she actually changed my life and taught me how to rise above, be compassionate and forgive. I won’t give away anymore but this is just a gorgeous, gorgeous fic.

7. Just Practice by @lamourche: I can’t BELIEVE I’ve finally found this fic again!!! I read it once and then lost it (now I realise it’s because the author has seemingly removed their masterlist) but I’d commented on it from my main blog. It is one of my favourite fics of all time: it reads like a college indie movie or like a Sally Rooney novel. I was crying at the end but I couldn’t even put my finger on what it was which just meant that it was the entire vibe of the story rather than a specific scene. It breaks my heart that I’ll never get to read this again but the author has all my appreciation and gratitude for writing it.

These are some recs off the top of my head that have stayed with me and I’ll probably add to this if I think of more. A huge thank you to all these authors for their wonderful work - and thanks to you too, anon, for the question. It felt great to go back to old fics and give a shout out to such talented writers <3

[that-one-queer-poc]

3 8 & 11 for the ask game? hope ur doing okay :)

GOOD LIRD I DIDNT SEE THIS TILL NOW . SORRY :3

i’m putting the summary response first so you know what im talking abt, so this world has 6 types of genetic magic and 5 skill levels for each, there’s the typical air water fire earth, then there’s light, and then there’s a type that can use the first most basic skill level for the other 5. <- those guys are oppressed and genocided, also sort of the light ppl but to a lesser extent. it mainly takes place on an underwater island, that was sunken by magic users during a civil war ABOUT the oppression, unfortunately it was blamed on the oppressed and they were all killed unless they escaped the island.

so the main character of the actual story lives 2 some centuries after that war, the magic racism is still alive and well and it’s getting kinda worse for the light ppl. but holy shit she finds out that she’s half light person!?!??!11?!?11!?? (bc of how the genetics works light is the only magic that someone can have alongside another, she has fire + light) so she tries to hide it from everybody while learning abt her new magic and she realizes she’s been propagandized her whole life. and then there’s conveniently someone from the genocided magic group and he’s from the surface, and she escapes w him back to the surface and (this is where it gets hazyish) joins the rebellion . and also meets her mom who she thought was dead or something. yeag 👍🏽

ANYWAYS motifs. i have no clue how well i’ll execute them but our main girl is not a fan of living underwater so the water is gonna represent death and discomfort and a lack of belonging and such, while the sun (and all other above ground things) are gonna be life and joy and natural beauty. the island is also called sunora and the land it’s off the coast of is monalia, something something sun and moon. and main girls name is solana bc i’m sooo subtle. but it’s gonna be so fun writing her experiencing all that stuff for the first time :3

so the worldbuilding. glaringly obviously atla inspired, also the lost city of atlantis i guess. i promise i’m cooking guys. but also i saw a tumblr post a while ago i can’t find it anymore but it said if you need words for your fiction just take words that describe it and mismatch them. i do NOT remember how i got what i got but it kinda fits the vibes so i’d say it worked. the names of the magic are bowamagia (water, blue) doremagia (earth, green) wiramagia (air, gray) filamagia (fire, red) chromagia (light, gold) and poleamagia (all, purple) also the colors associated w that magic are the color of the users eyes. so solana has heterochromia. bc i am smart and big brained

[tellthemeerkatsitsfine]

I’ve had Cabin Pressure saved on my phone for fucking ages by now. I downloaded it back in early July, I think. I had the idea that I had gone through most of my list of things to watch/listen to, and I wanted some new long-running audio thing. I asked people what they thought I should pick, and had multiple recommendations for this show Cabin Pressure, which is not long-running, people just said it’s good and only 13 hours so I should do that first. I didn’t know much about it, I knew that John Finnemore is one of those guys who was Footlights and Radio 4 so probably does the kind of vaguely pretentious humour that I like, so I downloaded it and figured that once I finish everything else on the list, I’ll quickly do the 13 hours of Cabin Pressure before starting some new long-running thing.

…That was months ago. It’s now mid-November, because I kept getting recommended other things. I did a Lee & Herring rabbit hole, followed by going through a whole bunch of Stewart Lee things that I didn’t get to last year when I just did his TV shows + DVDs. A similar thing with Josie Long, when I got my ahdns on a bunch of her stuff that went beyond her recorded shows that I heard/watched last year. There was a bunch of Robin Ince stuff and Michael Legge stuff. There were lots of recordings from the 2023 Edinburgh Festival throughout August. Then there was Alan Partridge, I listened to From the Oasthouse and liked it so much that I had to listen to all three of his audiobooks before I could move on from that. Turns out I missed out on a lot by only doing the TV/radio things + movie on the first go of that stuff years ago, the books and podcasts are better.

There have been other things too. I kept finding more stuff, to add to my “Comedy --> New” working folder on my phone, with the folder labeled “Cabin Pressure” always there at the top, never touched. But this week, I finally finished everything else in that folder, and all the episodes on my podcast app and in my Downloads folder on my laptop, and opened up this new thing.

I realized I’d been expected it to be a show about people trapped in an airplane after a crash or something – some sort of horror scenario like that. So I was surprised to learn it’s just a sitcom about airline pilots flying planes, and I had to retrace my steps to work out where I got my expectation. I think it came from the fact that the only thing I’ve seen John Finnemore do was be the guy who flew the escape pod in Avenue 5, so I guess I just assumed anything he does with flying is a dystopia.

I’m now two episodes in, and it’s not a dystopian nightmare. It’s Butternut Cabbagepatch and Peter Manion from The Thick of It being sarcastic at each other, and it’s great. It makes me almost nostalgic, the way it so perfectly captures the essence of the Radio 4 sitcom, of the sort that my dad used to often play in the car when I was a kid. Biting, sarcastic characters all talking with perfect diction and dry wit being sardonically annoyed about things. A bit like The Department too (which is another example of how I think this the exact type of slightly pretentious humour that you get when you combine Footlights with Radio 4). I love that shit.

Unfortunately, however, I’ve been sidetracked again. I’ve heard a few things of Nish Kumar’s recent stand-up, some of which can be seen in a post that’s been going around Tumblr, where he thanks Russell Brand for never making anything of value that is now ruined by the recent news. I think the version that got filmed actually didn’t mention Arthur, but in some other versions, he has said he specifically appreciates that the Arthur remake was shit so it’s not like anyone’s out there saying “Oh no, I can’t watch the Arthur remake anymore.” I hope the fact that he didn’t mention it on NextUp doesn’t mean he’s cut that line entirely, because I think it’s a good example.

I haven’t seen the Arthur remake. But I have seen Arthur, several times, when I was quite young. To be honest I don’t remember a lot about it, except that it had a main character who was kind of a dick, with a dry-witted sarcastic butler who at one point said “I’ll alert the media” when Arthur said he was going to take a bath. I remember that part because it became a running joke in my family for years and years. It still is, actually. Ever since I was a kid, my family will say “I’ll alert the media” to each other as a way to sarcastically suggest that whatever they’re doing isn’t that important.

When I was a teenager, I used to write a parody newspaper that would publish an edition during every family reunion, because that’s the type of annoying teenager I was (I say, as though I don’t now have a blog for writing similarly annoying things). I remember that one time, at such a gathering, my father told me he was going to take a bath. “I’ll alert the media!” I said, very pleased to have had an excuse to use that reference in its original context. As soon as I said it, I realized I was the media, and considered myself alerted. So I wrote an article in the family newspaper called “Your Very Local News – What Is Going on in Your Bathroom Right Now” about how my father was taking a bath, and the whole thing was a joke about how the media has to be alerted when people take baths, and it was a reference to a movie that no one in the family besides my parents/brother and I had seen. I was about to write that that’s the sort of annoying teenager I used to be, but actually, I stand by that, I think it was hilarious.

Anyway. I haven’t actually seen that movie since I was young. I remember so little about it. I know it stars Dudley Moore. I remember my dad first got me interested in it by telling me it stars one of the Beyond the Fringe guys, since I loved the Beyond the Fringe CD that he used to play in the car a lot (when he wasn’t playing mildly pretentious Radio 4 sitcoms, or his Goon Show tapes – you can see how my childhood influenced my current interests). I remember finding it very funny.

So, when I heard Nish Kumar fairly recently mention the Arthur remake (for anyone who doesn’t know, the original movie is from 1981, while in 2011 Russell Brand starred in a remake, I have never seen that remake and have no desire to do so), it made me think I should re-watch that original movie. Then I listened to two episodes of Cabin Pressure, where one of the main characters is named Arthur, and every time they say his name it makes me think I should watch Arthur.

So the upshot is that I have downloaded the (original) Arthur movie and I’m going to watch that. But I will get back to Cabin Pressure soon! That show is definitely going in the folder of Britcom that I’ll give my dad for Christmas this year, as I’ve spent the last few years repaying him for raising me on this stuff by giving him back a stream of more comedy than he could ever watch or hear (don’t worry, I’ll get him a proper gift too). I am, to be honest, surprising myself a bit by how much I’m enjoying it.

In the meantime, though, I’ll let you all know if the Arthur movie is any good now that I’m over the age of about ten. Some things I enjoyed when I was ten have really held up, and some very much have not.