#Andrew: no kisses but he does slap Kevin’s ass on the way by

[emry-stars-art]

Also it’s still St. Paddy’s where I am so the Irishman himself ☘️

[weelittleweasley]

Undeniable Chemistry | Archie x Reader

Prompt submitted by anon: You and Archie have had an unspoken tension between the two of you and that tension may be heightened when you are invited to a football party.

Look at that goon dance I can’t. Warnings: use of alcohol

The base rippled through the house, through all of the bodies dancing in that living room. It was the last football game of the season and those Bulldogs wanted that win to be remembered for the whole year. Everyone in the school was invited to the party, from freshmen to seniors. This was going to be a night no one forgot.

People everywhere were drinking and dancing and yelling, it was pure chaos. But chaos that everyone enjoyed. You sloppily danced along the side of your best friend, Betty, as she giggled. The two of you had not a care in the world as your girlfriends dance with you and boys flirted. However, you only wanted one boy to be flirting with you tonight--Archie Andrews.

There was always some undeniable chemistry and attraction that you had for each other ever since you became friends. Neither of you two wanted to act on it for two reasons. One, he and Veronica dated and Betty used to be in love with him. That would never end well for either of you. Two, your egos got the best of you. It was almost this bet that the two of you made; whoever caved first lost. But tonight, you were going to make sure Archie knew that you were a hot item and he better get you while you were up for grabs.

Spotting him across the room, you see him leaned up against the wall, sipping from a Bud Lite can. He talks to some Vixens, not paying attention to their drunken chatter, as he eyes you back. You can tell he’s drunk, because if he was sober, he would not be staring at you the way he is now. Archie’s eyes are droopy, filled with seduction as you can’t help but have your heart race at the mere sight of him. He must notice your discomfort as he reaches over to brush hair out of one of the Vixen’s face, her giggling as he does so. The sight of it makes your blood boil. He wants to play dirty? Well, you were about to give him dirty.

Looking around the dance floor, you spot Reggie Mantle, sipping on his beer can as he talks to Veronica. Smirking, you grab the two on them to where you and Betty are dancing and immediately try to make Archie as jealous as possible. Without hesitation, you start to grind your hips onto Reggie, Veronica laughing as Betty blushes. None of them have seen you act like this before--so openly sexual. Of course, Ronnie was all about you getting with guys, no strings attached. It used to be her thing and she was proud to see you attempt to make it yours. “Damn, okay, Y/N!” Veronica claps as you smirk, both you and Reggie grinding on each other. From behind, you know Archie is dying. Seeing you and his teammate dancing was killing him. 

Both Betty and Ronnie knew that there was something between you and Archie as they look to him to see his reaction. He just stared, his hand in a fist as you giggled, dancing with Reggie like it was nothing. “Someone’s jealous,” Betty whispers to Veronica as she nods. “Y/N, whatever you’re doing, keep doing it,” Betty says as Reggie wraps his arms around your waist.

You keep dancing with Reggie and your girlfriends, before Kevin runs up to all of you. “Guys, they are doing seven minutes in heaven. There is drama. Let’s go,” he pulls you guys to the basement as about ten people sit in a circle. Archie sits on the couch, polishing off another beer as you bite your lip. He winks at you before refocusing his attention on the game. This was one hundred percent his idea--yet another way to try and make you jealous. He was really going above and beyond; he must like you a lot.

“Alright, whose first?” Cheryl stands and asks the crowd as no one raising their hand. Everyone was way too intimidated to go hook up with someone random. People looked around the room at each other, but you just glared at Archie. You knew exactly what he was gonna do and you shook your head as if to say Don’t you dare. “I’ll go first,” he says, still keeping eye contact with you as you curl your hand into a fist out of sheer anger. “Archiekins, you wanna go first? I guess people really do change...Spin the bottle,” Cheryl tells him as Archie leans over to spin the empty beer bottle.

Turning to Veronica, you shake your head, wanting to get out of there. “It’s okay, Y/N. He’s not gonna do anything,” she coaxes you as you three walk over to the couch as the bottle starts to stop spinning. As it slows it turns, the bottle lands on Josie, a good friend of yours who also knew about your guys’ history. “Josie and Archie, that’s adorable,” Cheryl coos as your blood boils.

Josie looks up at you and your incredibly mad face as she sighs, “Yeah, no. I’m not gonna do this anymore.’ She stands up as Cheryl pushes her to Archie who has a devilish smirk on his face, him staring at you. He knew this was driving you mad. “Oh come on, Josie. Seven minutes, we can do whatever you want,” Archie teases as Josie sighs, going into the closet with him. Unable to hear the outside commentary, you run upstairs in a fury, hearing Betty calling your name. Frantically searching the party floor, you spot Reggie again, shotgunning a beer with Moose as you grab his hand. “Let’s go, pretty boy,” you tell him, bringing him downstairs to there the drama was infested.

When you get back down there, Betty and Veronica already know what plan you have in your dirty mind and they don’t dare to try and stop you. Cheryl faces you and says, “What’s this? Y/N’s new beau?” Rolling your eyes, you speak, “You want drama, Cheryl. Here is some drama.” As you say that, you grab Reggie’s face, pressing your lips against his as he immediately kisses back. He was completely into this, as he grabs your waist pulling you closer. Everyone gawks as the two of you make out in plain sight for everyone to see--some even whip out their phones, but Betty and Veronica slap them away before they get pictures you know you’ll regret. “Y/N, I never knew you had this in you!” Cheryl laughs as people holler. You ignore the comments, continuing to kiss a highly intoxicated Reggie.

Finally, you hear the closet door swing open, followed by a “What the hell?” clearly said by Archie. You smile into the kiss as you feel Reggie being ripped away from you. “Reggie, what is your problem?” Archie fumes, pushing his friend away. Reggie just laughs and tells him to calm down. “You know damn well that I’m with Y/N!” Archie pushes as people gasp.

“Oh, that’s a lie and you know it, Archie!” you yell at him as he turns around. “You have been nothing but a jealous ass, too busy trying to make me jealous to grow a pair and ask me out. So that being said, I can kiss whoever I want,” you cross your arms as Archie rolls his eyes, grabbing your hand, guiding you outside of the party. Once you are outside, the fall breeze wraps itself around you as you push Archie. “What the hell is wrong with you!”

Archie scoffs, “Me? What the hell is wrong with you, going around kissing one o my teammates and friends? That’s just wrong!” You roll your eyes and say, “You were the one who started flirting with the River Vixens and you were the one who started seven minutes in heaven! Are you kidding me? That is just wrong! All you wanna see is a rise out of me! Well, here you go, Andrews! I surrender, you win!”

The two of you remain silent, only the sound of your breathing is heard. “So, you do like me?” Archie questions as you scoff. “Archie, I’ve liked you since we became friends this year. I know you like me too, but you keep on playing mind games with me. I can never tell if you like me or not because you do stupid st-”

Before you can finish your sentence, Archie pulls you in by your waist, kissing your lips tenderly. You relax into his arms, placing your hands on his chest. The kiss isn’t sloppy or harsh or demanding. It is sweet and kind, just like him. He pulls away, pushing his forehead against yours, “Does that clarify things?”

You softly smile. “I think I need more clarification,” you tell him as he laughs, pressing his lips on yours again.

[myblessedeyes]

Listen, I’m touch-starved and I can’t stop thinking about these Andreil headcanons, so I gotta write them out and hopefully someone else will like them as much as I do:

*This is all imagined to happen after “yes or no”s have come up less frequently when it comes to casual shows of affection because “no”s have been thoroughly proven to be respected*

Andrew getting into the habit of spreading his legs every time Neil makes a motion to sit down in their living room and any of the other foxes’s living rooms so Neil can settle on the floor between them and sometimes lean his head against his thigh and his fingers will tangle in his hair and sometimes Neil will lean his head back and sometimes he gets a kiss and other times he gets a roll of the eyes and a few times he’s gotten a slap on the forehead along with a mumbled, “Fucking junky”

After getting a “from the hips up,” Neil spending an entire morning just tracing the lines of Andrew’s spine, the curve of his waist, the bulge of his bicep, following the movement of his back’s muscles moving as he leans a little more into Neil’s chest with his eyes closed in his peace

Neil just slumping on top of Andrew’s back whenever and wherever their standing and nuzzling Andrew’s neck when he’s particularly tired and trusting that Andrew can carry him without particularly paying any mind to the stares

Does this a lot in the morning while Andrew’s fixing them their coffees

Winter is sometimes a moisture sucking monster and makes it impossible to go a day without lotion, so take the time to imagine Neil hearing the sound of dry hands rubbing together and bringing out the bottle of Bath & Body Works lotion Renee gave him for his last birthday and pouring a whole shitload on his hands, asking for Andrew’s hand and just rubbing the lotion into his hands and higher depending on the outrageous amount he poured out

Andrew Minyard walking around smelling like Japanese Cherry Blossom gives me peace alright

Limbs, everywhere:

Andrew’s leg over Neil’s shoulder as their sitting in the living room scrolling through their phones

Legs weaved together, with Andrew rubbing his foot up and down Neil’s recently shaved legs in bed while they’re doing homework

Allison “accidentally” switched his lotion for a Nair’s bottle

Neil laying on Andrew’s ass while Andrew’s reading out of his Advanced Psychology textbook out loud to help him concentrate with Neil’s hand massaging his hips and thighs after a particularly hard leg day and a “yes”

Andrew laying between Neil’s legs, head smooshed into Neil’s chest  and hands under his sweatshirt and following the outline of his back muscles as Neil watches one of Kevin’s many “assigned” Exy games to study

Neil laying across Andrew torso with one arm wrapped over his shoulder and the other around his waist with his head on his chest while Andrew smokes with the window in their bedroom open above him with a hand on his back tapping along to the rhythm of the music playing from one of their iPods

Neil in Andrew’s lap with his legs wrapped around his waist with Andrew’s hand up Neil’s basketball shorts indulging Neil (and not himself tysm) in a thigh massage

Arm over Neil’s shoulder with his hand inside his shirt

Arm around Andrew’s waist with his fingers curled around his belt loop and finger hooked inside the waist band of his jeans

Andrew just sitting on Neil’s lap, with Neil’s head leaning against the sofa’s backrest, eyes closed as he’s soothed close to sleep, and just spending a good hour just combing back his hair, eyes staring uninhibited at the small pimples on his chin, the car lighter scars, the knife scars; one goes from his eyebrow to the bottom of his jaw, the other one crossing across to the bridge of his nose and the deepest one going from his temple to the top of his cheekbone, his thick eyebrows, his long, thick eyelashes, the soft smattering of freckles from his runs outside in the middle of summer, the line of his nose, the way the sunlight coming in contoured the sharp line of his cheekbones, the way his square jaw looked from every direction he could look at it from, his beautifully stupidly marked cupid’s bow, the small scar at the corner of his mouth from the one time his mom had slapped him hard enough to bleed when he had screamed to loud when she was stitching up a particularly painful cut, the small nicks from where his mom’s nails had cut him on his jaw and cheek from his lessons. Every single detail, Andrew making sure to memorize

Neil returning the favor and helping Andrew in his shower 

Don’t think he’d ever do it while Andrew is injured... Too vulnerable. Triggers have a tendency to rise when feeling like injuries can keep you from properly protecting yourself

Andrew taking an Anatomy class and having Neil as reference because working out had helped in making his stupid muscles become obscenely marked and having Neil naked in his bed and draped in his cotton sheets as he follows the line of the muscles he’s trying to memorize really isn’t helping but god- does it make it hard to forget just where the semitendinosus or the sartorious is and- God, does he wish he was doing this with his mouth.

he passed the course with flying colors

he would have been able to do it with the book alone

would have definitely saved him the embarrassment of having an inappropriate boner in the middle of class that’s for sure

Andrew making a habit of braiding his hair after Neil had come back from a sleep over with the girls with a pair of french braids and had really liked how they looked on him

i just really like braids and i really like the idea of Neil walking around campus with long hair and braids in his hair ok

Neil making a habit of giving him head massages when they’re sitting side by side doing shit together

It’s 4 am and this is all I can think of.

Part II

[floggingink]

Riverdale, “Chapter Fifteen: Nighthawks”

“DEATH DINER”??????

“Damn good coffee”: you know what I’ve never stopped and considered? how lovely the interior of Pop’s is. the ceiling tiles are styled with gentle Titanic fresco flower wreaths. those hanging lamps? Restaurant: Impossible wishes. the classic black-and-white floor, the framed art on the walls? he has neon letters saying “DINER” inside the diner. just to be fancy, be pretty! there’s a table by the far wall that appears to be stacked only with translucent glass flower vases, or bongs! Pop’s is a classy joint, and Pop is there 24 hours a day, dressed impeccably, like the ancient Greek god of caffeine, whipped cream topping

also he named it and insists on calling it not a diner but a “Chock’lit Shoppe,” because he is an angel

please contrast with Archie Andrews, who cannot use the toaster

Archie > Dawson: I like that he leaves Fred to pretty much clean up the mess, his well-meaning unhelpful morning thus encapsulating much of his Archibaldness

Sheriff Keller, actively avoiding Archie’s earnestness, left the job of calling Archie back to his deputy. what was the message I assume Archie hung up before he could hear? that they KNOW NOTHING?

“side exit”? what side exit?

Fifth period is AP English: “To quote that New Yorker cartoon…” Veronica and Jughead, Veronica and Jughead. Veronica also has an A in English. she reads Oscar Wilde, you know? she and Jughead get partnered together to do a report on Truman Capote, their teacher cannily scheduling them to present on the last day as the final flourish, two of her best students. except then Jughead got transferred. she got drunk that weekend

that cartoon is also from like 1993 so it must be one of those vintage bon mots Veronica drops

Hiram, buff!

Veronica is very snotty with him. it’s her prerogative, but dangerous, no?

Betty’s top knot, Veronica’s blue velvet coat

“Wait, I’m sorry, am I hearing acceptance?” Betty is a NATURAL EXECUTIVE CHEERLEADER

wait, has Jughead not been transferred yet? isn’t this a table outside Riverdale High? how is Jughead there?

Archie’s hand-made wanted poster is preposterously ineffectual and a thousand times more adorable and tragic for being so. Archie wants to help and get things happening SO MUCH that, even though all he knows about are the green eyes, he drew a picture of just a white dude in a cut-out ski mask. he went to Staples to make copies! he’s begging someone to tell him something

also how depressing a walk was it for Archie and Jughead to go to the sheriff’s office together

honestly WHAT PERSONAL INFORMATION did Fred have in his wallet besides the address on his driver’s license? which may have been revoked from his mystery DUI for all we know

“a 53 in Greendale” means a garrotting

FP...looks rough

his charges: arson, destruction of evidence, making a false confession, obstruction of justice, and something that amounts to failure to properly dispose of a human body. to be sure, FP did some crimes, so he could do some times. I hear you. however 20 years, from my years of expertise gleaned from watching Law & Order, seems more appropriate for having, say, throttled a grandma

Jughead, presumably using a key, the first almost-casualty of Archie KEEPING HIMSELF AWAKE for like the seventh night in a row

Sixth period is Intro to Film: “You’re the one who looks like a dream warrior from Nightmare on Elm Street 3.” niche, Jug

if his case goes to trial—for what?? he did all that shit! is he going to plead not guilty for something? make your case at sentencing, dude!

I’m writing a scene where it’s gay.: Jughead needs a hug, Archie. get over there. get over there with your big shoulders

Betty’s gray sweater with the lace Peter Pan collar and her pink almost-pencil skirt is unacceptably good

Veronica also has a vanity mirror table, but just with three white honkin’ mirrors set in a semicircle

the female gaze: Archie feels comfortable opening the door without a shirt on? of course he does. what if it had been the killer? then the killer would have truly known what he was up against

Summer + Blair = Veronica: can you believe it’s the second episode of the second season and until now no in-universe character has suggested plonking Archie down in front of A COUNSELOR OF SOME SORT

Mayor McCoy’s bodycon dresses are always slinky yet pragmatic and she always looks great

she JUST SLIGHTLY flicks her eyes down Jughead, whom she’s heartily sick of

Jughead starts to stammer, his physiological reaction when pitching ideas to beautiful women in power

why is the mayor “all for” closing Pop’s? to put it all behind Riverdale as quickly as possible?

Jughead doubts it: is Jughead being a little hard on his dad’s public defender? they’re shockingly overworked and underpaid

“YOU REMEMBER THIS MOMENT”

Betty’s face: hooooooo, what? oh god

Gay.: Midge Klump’s immaculate leather jacket is from H&M and is gay. her incredible mussy, shaggy lesbian haircut is gay, her watercolor blouse is soft femme, and the way she tosses herself against the locker is just very gay

“the Klumpster”

anything, any scenario, and I mean ANYTHING that means I can both look at Reggie AND hear about jingle-jangle has my full-throttled unambiguous endorsement. Reggie sells jingle-jangle? OF COURSE HE DOES!!!!! remember in the pilot when he asked Archie what kind of performance-enhancing drugs he was taking? WE WERE ROBBED OF AN ENTIRE SEASON OF REGGIE POTENTIALLY SELLING JINGLE-JANGLE

“What’s on your mind, Andrews? Girl trouble? Scabies? Why’re you seeking guidance from Ms. Burble?”

“You look like my nuts after football practice.” PLEASE go after Jughead again!!!!!!!

jingle-jangle is apparently like a miraculous All-Purpose Lysol drug that keeps you awake, keeps you focused, and gives you a hard-on

Reggie slaps Archie’s ass when he walks away, because of course he does

Betty would be the one to say something like “We can’t let the terrorists win” when talking about something like a diner closing

Veronica was rich: Serendipity 3 is on East 60th Street and is the home of the Golden Opulence Sundae, which you must order two days in advance. it is covered in Amedei Porcelana syrup, dessert caviar, and edible gold leaf, and costs $1,000. this is why Marie Antoinette was beheaded and I want one

little Betty did ballet and ice skating

ah, retro Betty, settled on the wrong boy

Betty met Kevin for the first time at Pop’s!

GOOD JUGHEAD KISSING GOOD HAIR JUGHEAD GOOD

Hiram brought Veronica yellow roses, for friendship

Betty and Kevin seeing the Hiram Lodge of myth for the first time, Kevin privately surprised at how much of a snack he is

I’ve forgotten why Hiram was in prison. what is Veronica’s ur-beef with him again? that he bought the drive-in land? oh and Ethel’s dad almost killed himself I guess

Serpent Daddy’s real gang name is Tall Boy, so I will continue to call him Serpent Daddy

he is tolerantly amused at Jughead’s suggestion that they just break FP out of jail

a “snake handler” is someone who is independently invested in the wellbeing of the Serpents and fixes their problems. is Betty a snake handler? discuss

Cheryl and Josie have a metallic choker apiece

Cheryl calls Betty and Veronica “Humpty and Dumpty,” because she has released her past

“But, really, Veronica, were they ever yours?” Cheryl did sort of sign them over under emotional duress, would be a questionable transfer in court, say

“The answer is a double-cherry-on-top no.”

What damn high school in America: a long-faced, kinda fly-looking jock to Archie’s immediate right stares at him during the zoom-in after Weatherbee’s announcement about Ms. Grundy, because his whole class knows they were FUCKING

there needs to be a game of Secrets and Sin toward the end of each season, just so the regular kids at Riverdale can get fully briefed on this one handful of kids’ operatic problems

Mr. Andrews felt no emotion at hearing that Ms. Grundy was killed, he is humoring his son

Penny Peabody is GREAT. I love her voice, her bangs, her filing system, her diminutive Serpent tattoo, and her 80’s bad bitch shoulder pads

time served, that’s what I’m talking about!!!

she also kind of looks like she wants to take a bite out of Jughead

Alice is still very COOL towards Archie. why doesn’t she like Archie? because she delights in not liking anyone. it’s okay

“Fine. I’ll reach out to my ghoulish friend.”

also part of Betty’s pink & gray outfit is a pair of sky-blue Chucks

Alice had to say “You’ll love this,” otherwise Veronica’s rage at hearing “anonymous buyer” would have not been self-aware enough for this show

there’s that gold octopus I liked

Veronica just kept that letter in her purse in case she got worked up!!!

oof I like her sort of 40’s naval-inspired skirt

HERMIONE IS STONE-COLD

Cheryl gets one of the most fantastic lines outside of Clue: “Hobo. Bride of hobo. Welcome to Thistlehouse. Mother’s in the conservatory.”

that blouse? that blouse, Cheryl? yes, Cheryl

the conservatory is apparently the greenhouse from Practical Magic, the greatest cinematic house of all time

Best costume bit: PENELOPE IN A TURBAN

and like a white lace nightie and kimono? yes, Penelope

I’m sitting here trying to see what they’re doing at the table and it looks like Penelope is just stirring tea like a Disney witch, surrounded by long-stemmed candles (lit), stoppered vials, some sort of decorative toucan, and tiny cauldrons full of herbs

Cheryl does have a point in that she like, was living with a killer

of course Penelope wants to watch FP get electrocuted, because she is a Stephen King villain

“If they weren’t literally an orphan and a widow, I would do it.” luckily Jughead you have the best girlfriend ever

MISSED YOU, OVER-ENTHUSIASTIC CORONER

Archie unknowingly paying Reggie back for the black eye? he should’ve just covered with that

okay but Reggie knows what he’s doing so all this indignity on his part is a bit misguided

I like that the only person so far truly feeling in their gut that these two crimes are connected is the town doofus, and he is right

“ChugMo”???

Pop should NOT be walking around saying “I thought I’d be doing this until the day I die”

I FUCKING LOVE Betty’s not even “positive attitude” or “determination,” it’s like a physiological inability to accept defeat. I think the last time she accepted defeat was when Cheryl told her she wasn’t making the cheerleading squad

Cheryl in a Gil Elvgren lingerie set checking herself out in a compact mirror is...powerful

her locker emanates a red light, like the Moulin Rouge?

she has a photograph, I think, of herself

I’ve seen Brick like thirty times: Betty first closes the door very loudly on purpose

Cheryl’s expression at Betty’s threat is everyone’s expression

my knee-jerk superego wanted to be like, Is this kind of harsh, Betty? but like...this is Betty. or this is Riverdale Betty. she’s chaotic good and this is what she needs to achieve her goals. that she does it in a pink cardigan says really everything you need to know. like Archie fucking up trying to make toast for his dad

she’s also kind of tall and has her mother’s left eyebrow, which is cute

Gay?!: Cheryl regroups with commendable speed, respecting who won this round, definite admiration for the game

HOW INTERESTING IS JUGHEAD AND VERONICA

this must be after Betty told Jughead that Cheryl was going to testify, so Jughead was like, THANK GOD, WHO IS BETTY, and felt so much love that he had to go make someone else feel better, because Jughead is a sweetheart

Jughead eats: he takes one of the individually boxed cupcakes presumably left for Veronica by Hiram

“He made an effort.” did he, Jug? he wanted to get on your good side to get your read on a murder. because he knew what you needed to see. oh, Jug. oh, Jughead

“I’m not going to presume what lies in your father’s heart.” JUUUUUGGGGGGGG

Jughead still says his dad is going away for 20 years so maybe this is before Betty talked to him and he’s just being nice!!!!!!!! or he’s not getting his hopes up. let me have this

“Thank you, Jughead. Sorry I broke into your dad’s trailer.”

I REALLY didn’t think Ms. Grundy’s ex was real. but she did have a gun! I don’t know, Christ, I don’t know anymore

Cheryl’s a psychopath: I like the implied scene where Cheryl went home and was like, Mother, I’m testifying for FP Jones, and Penelope was like, You’re doing what? and Cheryl was like, SILENTLY AND WITH MY BLESSING MOTHER

FP sitting there with his mouth opening is everyone

his court-appointed attorney doesn’t understand how this is happening but he’ll take it

“FP’s guilt has been blown out of proportion to satiate what my father’s suicide denied us.”

Cheryl’s sheaths: wait, it’s THIS dress! this dress, Cheryl!!!!!

Cheryl’s pins: Jughead gave her her spider pin back???? to say thank you!!!!

okay what is like the DA’s story here, that FP OUT OF NOWHERE, or for money no one can prove he ever received, did a shit load of dirty work for Clifford Blossom? there were NO extenuating circumstances? like, that’s okay with you?

okay, oh Jesus, Betty raises The Eyebrow at Cheryl on the stand, which I don’t even think was part of the deal!, but Cheryl IMMEDIATELY perjures herself, even though it’s not actually a lie because it’s what actually happened but she doesn’t know that, to get the result Betty wants

Betty is in a textured pink sweater now (with a Peter Pan collar) and Jughead is back in that heavy green knit from the third episode holy moly!!!!!!!

“Is that extenuating enough? Say when.”

Cheryl’s cut-out blousey dress is like Velma Kelly murderess chic, murder me Cheryl

Jughead pulled his hat off, he was so flipping relieved

honestly when he hugged his dad it was so pure, sad, and good, it was so good

Jughead’s fucking long fucking arms can never just hug someone, they like wrap around you and reposition again and again to find the perfect sweet spot

the incredible costume change into the retro waiter stuff

“You’re a fiend, mother.”

does Veronica give them the wrong milkshakes or did they decide to swap? Questions

Cheryl is back in her red velvet leg warmer and red sling-backs

Fwoopy hair is the best hair: JOSIE’S BRAID?

Betty took a page out of Toby Zeigler’s book and just announced that the Pussycats had already accepted the gig

the 2001 Josie and the Pussycats movie was a masterpiece: Valerie has “a norovirus,” so Cheryl gets to sing (like Josie is a Vixen now) “Milkshake” on top of the roof, which Pop’s is probably not insured for

MELODY GETS A LINE

Archie VERY BRAVELY showed up to Pop’s again out of support for Betty and Veronica

Hermione’s shimmery blouse

Hiram is just so handsome. SO handsome, soap opera handsome

Serpent Daddy and another long-haired hooligan and a third fairly chiseled young man enter to show that the Serpents support their local businesses

Every triangle has three corners, every triangle has three sides: what’s up with the finger on Betty’s chin!!!! is he slowing her down??? is it a bossy thing??? what’s up!!! what’s up Jug!!!!!

they disgust Cheryl

“Honor your promise to me.”

Alice is thrilled Pop’s is such a thriving hive of degeneracy

Certified pedigree: “Yeah, no, I fucking bought it.”

OF COURSE HERMIONE WAS COVERING FOR THAT SHIT

Please protect Betty: I like how everyone is like, Betty, you did it. you did all this. this is what did you, thank you. thank you for being the one who did this

the Blossom corpse: ��I have a present for you.” they watch the snuff film

Cheryl’s hair: Cheryl’s top knot!

Andre is tasty but we all know Smithers is dead

Jughead went home early to make some sandwiches, which is #lifegoals, but FP really should know better by now how NOT to get Jughead to do something. it’s not by being cryptic. you have to say right-out, “She’s done X, son. She will steal your skin. She stole that woman’s skin.”

Mädchen Amick, MÄDCHEN AMICK: “You do know several drug deals went down here tonight.”

Alice is so vicious with Betty, Alice is gold

Dilton Doiley is a canonically great dancer: PSYCHO DILTON IS BACK BABY!

Archie with a gun is single-handedly the most dangerous idea anyone has ever had. I’m already in mourning for the innocent person he’s going to shoot

apparently one ingests jingle-jangle through a Pixy Stix

I hope the staging of this scene is a callback to the incomparable opening of Zodiac

These students are legally children: OKAY WHY WERE THESE CHILDREN BLOWN AWAY THOUGH

God bless Moose: RIP you bicurious boy!!!!!!!

I officially have zero theories as to what is going on, I am back to being Archie

NEXT WEEK: “THE BLOODLETTING”??????????

[ravenvsfox]

Can you do Jeaneil or Mattneil bc my heart does not have enough rare pair content to go on? Please?

you poor deprived kiddo let me give u some mattneil to keep u warm

SEND ME A SHIP AND I’LL TELL YOU…

who is more likely to hurt the other?

ok here’s the scoop: matt doesn’t know how to hurt someone :/ he was born that way :/ it’s medically proven :// 

Neil on the other hand......... like he doesn’t take care of himself and he doesn’t understand social cues and like. it hurts matt’s heart. he just wants neil whole and happy and neil makes rash decisions and lies/doesn’t let matt in at first and that cuts pretty deep

who is emotionally stronger?

mmmmm hard to say bc they’re both p resilient from the shit they’ve been through but matt’s shit just happens to be more manageable?? like if you put matt in neil’s headspace idk if he could do it. but like in the series, matt is an emotional pillar of strength, neil’s safe harbour etc, he’s fought rlly hard to get the peace of mind that he has 

who is physically stronger?

dude matt could benchpress two neil’s stacked on top of each other....... he can and will carry neil home on his back..... he’s like 7 feet tall

who is more likely to break a bone? 

neeeeeil as always my accident prone kiddaroo. Matt has a bit of trouble organizing his long fuckin limbs sometimes but his centre of balance is good. plus he doesn’t have those pesky yakuza members on his ass

who knows best what to say to upset the other? 

r u srs matt would never in his life purposefully upset neil where would he even start he’d be like ‘uh. neil.. you. uhh-- what is that? ur natural hair colour?? like something that beautiful could occur in nature am i... am i right’

meanwhile neil is an emotionally unstable drama queen who canonically distances himself and flings insults to keep people safe so like. yeah he might dick things up bc he’s in the habit of alienation & doing things alone

who is most likely to apologize first after an argument? 

matt would bc he doesn’t like conflict and he’s very very gentle with neil. he understands neil’s past (and quite frankly doesn’t give a shit about where neil’s from or the laws he’s broken) and he understands that things go south for a reason. neil has bad days that are. rlly bad. and matt’s not perfect but like. he’ll make space for neil to come home to. he’ll make sure the first thing neil hears is sorry and i love you and we’re better than this 

who treats who’s wounds more often? 

please.. who do u think....... 

remember when matt went completely blood-drained pale & furious when neil got hurt? remember when he punched kevin in his face for letting anyone touch neil?? if u don’t think he’d try to hold neil together at the seams idk what to tell you

who is in constant need of comfort? 

neil has nightmares and a multitude of triggers and matt spends a lot of time trying to stand between neil and the rest of the world, just in case. neil tries pretty hard to ignore the bad memories under his skin, but they poke out like splinters and matt happens to be really good with tweezers

who gets more jealous? 

like I think it might actually be neil?? in a weird, nebulous, unidentifiable by even himself kind of way. Matt means so much to him, like. he’s the first person who looked at him and didn’t even try to look away, just accepted him into his family w/o blinking. neil still doesn’t understand romance, and he doesn’t ever think that matt would like ‘cheat’ on him or w/e. but he knows the wriggly feeling when matt can’t be around for whatever reason. he’s jealous of people who have matt’s time and attention tbh bc it feels so amazing when HE has itbut also if a person tries to touch neil matt will be very >:(

who’s most likely to walk out on the other? 

no

who will propose? 

ohohohooo it’s SO matt

he’s always wanted to lock that down tbh he’s the kind of guy that sees you, loves you, plans a life w you in his head every time you laugh

5 years down the line he proposes and neil is like ‘i guess ya w/e anyway when r u gonna transfer to my team i wanna play exy w you’ and matt cries

who has the most difficult parents?

😒 

who initiates hand-holding when they’re out in public? 

matt what a sweetie I bet he tries to hold hands w neil when they’re jogging like... hun that ain’t gonna work but I appreciate the gesture

neil is so blown away by casual intimacy he ends up staring at their linked fingers the whole time they’re walking anywhere and almost running into shit

who comes up for the other all the time? 

matt talks about neil 24/7 soooo

who hogs the blankets? 

here’s the thing,, neil doesn’t even have the opportunity to hog the blankets before matt’s in there tucking him in and holding him close and giving him foot massages and shit

like if neil has an excess of anything it’s bc matt gave it to him

who gets more sad? 

this question is so weird for tfc bc like they all are yo this is a book about mistreated young adults so

like yeah neil struggles more with being okay with his reflection and the way his skin is all fraying and ripped like old fabric at the tender age of 19 and the twisty feeling of having been viscerally relieved by his father’s death and the years of trauma under his belt from a litany of abusers 

but matt has a drug problem that sent his life all over the place like shotgun fire and a parent that didn’t know how to be a parent, and friends that died young and got hurt and taken away and that can be really fucking sad too

who is better at cheering the other up? 

matt can flash a smile and put in a movie and calmly list every single thing that looks bright about neil’s future and it’s amazing how much that helps?? neil cheers matt up by being utterly oblivious about how to cheer him up though. awkward shoulder pats and inappropriately timed kisses and matt’s like :))) thanks u loser

who’s the one that playfully slaps the other all the time after they make silly jokes?

it’s not so much that neil makes silly jokes, but he does say wildly inappropriate things/roasts anyone w a pulse and matt’s reactions are either A) thrilled, laughing, go get ‘em babe B) ‘holy... shit.... can he say that?? can u say that babe?’ C) (gentle slap) ‘can u.. calm down damn’

who is more streetwise?

uhhh neil from the. you know. street. but matt can definitely handle himself, and he spent some time in underground party scenes and trying to like live when his dad was preoccupied so he knows his way around bits and pieces of the real world (andrew would disagree)

who is more wise?

i get the feeling that neil is lowkey smarter than most ppl know?? (distractingly 80% of the shit that comes out of his mouth is exy jargon or insults) he’s capable enough to keep his head down, do some calculations, and survive

matt is smart, and he thrives socially, but he can be a little tiny bit naive sometimes

who’s the shyest? 

like I guess neil bc his true colours are buried under 8 feet of fabrication, and matt’s an upfront lovely guy

who boasts about the other more? 

look. matt loves neil so much. he tells the story of his rising from the ashes of his former life and becoming an exy star like it’s the plot of his favourite movie. he tells everyone about neil being scouted. he tells everyone when he says yes to his proposal. like he’s in line at sobey’s telling the cashier about neil’s talent and his pretty eyes

who sits on who’s lap?

again like.... logistically it’s gotta be neil, and also emotionally it’s gotta be neil

he deserves some lap sitting tbh

[ravenvsfox]

Can you make a couples post about Kevin and thea please make it up as you go along if you have to, please. I love your writing and ideas.

thank you lovely, i’ll try my best bc they’re so good

SEND ME A SHIP AND I’LL TELL YOU…

who is more likely to hurt the other?

I think kevin is an ~idiot and he’d probably say something thoughtless about Thea’s form 

I also think that he canonically abandoned her without a single fucking word when he left the ravens and that a lot of her anger after that comes from hurt

I think they’re both pretty damaged and susceptible to hurt tbh, but kevin doesn’t seem to understand when he’s hurting people

who is emotionally stronger?

proooooobs thea I mean. she braved the nest and came out the other side with her head on straight. she did not for a second let kevin fuckin day get to her. she’s still soft on the inside, and exy’s become kind of a coping mechanism in a lot of ways, but she’s less obviously fucked up by the moriyamas then kevin is (simply bc she was less important to them yikes)

who is physically stronger?

THEA BOYYYYY this isn’t even up for debate!!!!! neil describes her as being built like a tank, she’s an unstoppable fucking powerhouse on the court, we’re talking serena williams’ body type, just like.. immovable and gorgeous. kevin is so shaken he’s in love w her muscles..... he wants to be knocked to the fucking floor by her....... she fires a ball into his helmet so hard that it cracks and he pops a boner

who is more likely to break a bone? 

hilarious im gonna say the boy w the infamously broken hand 

who knows best what to say to upset the other? 

good question I have no fucking clue they can both be dicks if the situation calls for it

I’m going to say that thea knows what to say to give kevin mad cold shoulder and she can smoke him out in a SECOND if he’s being a dick like she knows when to ignore him and when to back him into a corner

but kevin tends to be unnecessarily rude more often. he’s mean bc he knows that it gets results. thea does not tolerate him bringing this attitude home w him

who is most likely to apologize first after an argument? 

neither? bitch?? if both of them believe they’re right there are gonna be exactly zero (0) sorry’s

I do think they’re probably softer w each other when they’re one on one and I’d be willing to bet that their arguments end with kevin explaining things to death and thea listening and narrowing her eyes a lot and holding the front of his shirt bc she’s mad but she still wants contact and they kiss and make up w out actually ever saying the words

who treats who’s wounds more often? 

I think in the nest you’ve gotta take care of each other, so they both learn to sit the other down and hold gentle hands to the injured person’s sternum to keep them down, and they sit and wrap gauze. it’s v intimate. they probably did it for the first time when thea was playing for the ravens and kevin had yet to debut on the raven line, and there was enough of an age difference between them that it was pretty innocent. thea was overworked and hit for her trouble and kevin came up bc he was terribly impressed by her and a little bit in love and he dabbed at her cuts like the clumsy 17 year old that he was

who is in constant need of comfort? 

it’s mutual bc their pasts are mutual, but I’m willing to bet that it’s kevin who wakes up sweating and crying, & thea knows how to give enough distance and turn on the lights so he remembers where he’s not. He was in shackles for longer. he still kinda hates himself sometimes. thea strokes the chess piece on his cheek and tells him that he checked riko straight to hell

who gets more jealous? 

shit man idk?? neither of them really have room for anything in their lives other than exy and each other (and reluctant connection w teammates/family) so there’s not a lot of jealousy fodder. and they’re never gonna be jealous of the other person caring more about exy than them bc like. that’s understood. if I had to guess I might say thea’s jealous of the world falling all over themselves to get a glimpse at Kevin Day you know

who’s most likely to walk out on the other? 

I hate to say either bc they’re a really good match and I feel like they’d bounce back really easily, but it’s possible that they fade away from each other when they’re getting their footing on their respective teams. thea can feel herself getting distracted and she pulls out. kevin shows up like???? >:( and they make up on the spot

who will propose? 

probably kevin bc he does the math and realizes that thea is the best thing that’s ever happened to him in his LIFE. he’s probably 10 shots of vodka deep and he looks up suddenly like :O wait a second she’s perfect??? how do I keep her? and nicky has to be like dude.. have u heard of marriage..... it’s nifty and it’s been legal for you straight people for a bajillion years

who has the most difficult parents?

i know literally nothing about thea’s parents but considering jean’s family was a shitty mess that got caught up in the moriyamas I’m assuming most or all of the ravens are in similar situations?? they play for.... the mafia.....

so unless they’re saints, they’re definitely not better than david wymack can I get an amen

who initiates hand-holding when they’re out in public? 

im trying to picture them holding hands........ I think they would in a like... come here! hurry ur ass up! kind of way like thea spends all her time dragging kevin’s oblivious ass around

who comes up for the other all the time? 

considering neither of them mentioned each other or their relationship for like two books........ idk

i bet you in an easier world it would be kevin though. (my gf is beautiful and strong. she could obliterate u w one swing of her racquet. she wears pretty pastels on her face. i want to kiss her)

who hogs the blankets? 

don’t tell but kevin’s obsessed w feeling coddled and warm and I’m willing to bet that he hogs both the blankets and the woman until thea is also bundled up. i hope they learn to cuddle. I bet they’re rlly bad at it at first but it gets easier and more constant over time

who gets more sad? 

again like. I know v little about thea’s background but if she’s in the nest she’s in deep shit. the both of them were assets that had their lives manipulated out of their own hands. kevin’s wound is open and thea’s is poorly sewn up and neither of them are doctors tbh it takes time and professional help until thea can take her old jersey number off of her necklace and replace it with a chess piece pendant (3 guesses which one)

who is better at cheering the other up? 

they’re reeeally bad at this tbh both of them are like ‘uhhhh... don’t cry.. please..rlly.. stop’ spoilers it’s bc they’ve never been properly comforted themselves :))))

BUT as time goes on kevin starts clumsily recreating things the foxes have said to him and it’s really sweet, and thea can be v mellow when they’re alone together, so she’ll take his bad hand and massage the tension out of it, and smooth his hair back and tell him what an idiot he’s being but like.. fondly

who’s the one that playfully slaps the other all the time after they make silly jokes?

nope

who is more streetwise?

I still know nothing about thea but I’m willing to bet that it’s her bc she’s been out in the world for longer?? idk where she was before evermore but she’s already building a life for herself after it when we meet her. kevin’s fresh out of it. he’s messed up but he was messed up indoors under lock and key. all he has now is a little experience from columbia and from watching andrew

who is more wise?

tough to say? I get the feeling that thea knows better than kevin? idky she just..... knows

he’s oblivious at best tbh he knows obscure facts and exy exy exy. thea does too but she also has that practicality and survival baked into her. she seems sharp to me

who’s the shyest? 

not really shy so much as unwilling to show mmmmm anything about themselves until they’re in deep. Thea comes in and orders neil out of the room the first time she meets him ! like she has every right to be pissed but she doesn’t seem stressed that she’ll be disobeyed or come across as rude. I think she’s familiar with being listened to. kev has that sickly media personality and a seven layer cake of repression underneath that so..

pick ur poison. they’re both mostly bravado anyway

who boasts about the other more? 

again, in a perfect world, kevin’s bragging about thea

but as is thea gets all these questions about kevin in interviews and she’s like “hi we’re here to talk about me” but if they ask the right question she’ll get this sly smile and drop them some subliminal messaging type hints about their relationship and move on

kevin’s more sputtery and obvious about thea. she’s his weakness

who sits on who’s lap?

I bet it’s both bc kevin’s obsessed w thea’s thighs on either side of his lap & her weight on top of him and thea likes how pliant and focused kevin gets when he’s looking down at her