#And yeah sry for not posting in a long time but I’m currently going through some CWMMP materials before diving into Denningverse

[tahiriveilasolo]

Just posting to scream this:

STOVER I SEE WHAT YOU DID THERE IN SHATTERPOINT

THAT NIGHTMARE OF WINDU??? ISN’T THAT KRIFFING BATTLE OF CORUSCANT DURING THE YUUZHAN VONG WAR???

[jojoreadwhat]

Don't build me up just to let me down | b.h. x fem!reader

a/n; okay so this isn’t this preview I posted about (still working on it but I keep getting other ideas for more pieces) I wanted to give you something to keep you on your toes. I tagged as many (tumblr has a limit, sry) from my last Ben teases as a thank you for being supportive, even when I’m all over the place. y’all are amazing ✨

prompt; fem!reader is in love with Ben and hes blind to it.

words; 2k

mentions; joe mazzello

this tale includes foul language, angst, which may lead to kisses and fluffiness.

inspiration;

You sat in the back of Rooney’s, about a block away from work with your best friend, Ben. Talking over drinks while waiting for your food to be prepared.

Venting about the three days of work you’ve endured, “I swear, if Elizabeth places another assignment on my desk. My face is going to be on the news.” You harped, taking a sip of your soda pop.

Ben chuckled at you, flashing his pearly whites behind his plump smirk. “Says the girl who can barely kill a spider.” You stuck your tongue at the stunning blonde fellow sitting across you in the booth.

“I can be a tough gal when I want to be!” Defending yourself, “Sure.” He winked at you, rolling your eyes to his words. “Just wait till 11pm, I’ll prove you wrong, alright.”

Ben nodded his head, reassuringly with sarcasm spread across his face as he reached for his phone next to him on the table, passing some time.

You and Ben have been known each other for about three years now. The both of you met during a gallery opening for a mutual friend of yours. Since then you were inseparable, especially when your schedules were obliging. Whenever Ben was back from filming movies, you were around each other. Lunches together, were hanging out, texting non-stop and even being each other’s date to any event either of you had. You went to each other for everything, talked about everything to anything. You were pretty lucky, who knew a comment on a photograph would give you, your best friend.

Still waiting on your food to be brought out, you noticed Ben was up to something as well. His plump pink lips, curling upwards as his tongue poked a bit, grazing against his top lip, making it glisten.

“And what are we smiling about Benjamin?” You broke his distraction, his green eyes meeting yours as you wiggled your eyebrows, tauntingly.

Ben’s cheeks turned a shade a red, rolling his eyes before they found yours again. “Cecilia.”

Cecilia? A new girl? You thought first.

What about Annie?

Since you’ve known Ben, he’s had a little track record for being a loose cannon. When you met, he had gotten out of a long term relationship and hasn’t had a proper girlfriend since.

In a way you were kinda okay with that, because selfishly, you were hoping it would be you.

You have a weak smile, “Ah, she sounds pretty.” Trying to keep the conversation going, hoping he wasn’t noticing the knot twisting in your stomach by the look on your face.

From the beginning, you always had feelings for Ben. You thought you were going to start dating by the way things were. That was until he opened up about his last relations and his want to stay single for a while. You respected that and that’s how the friendship came more into view.

Of course, you became too close for comfort, many would say. You had no problems with cuddles, staying each other’s beds after late nights of drinking or binge watching movies and shows. At first it was just friendly, how you guys worked. Shortly when you noticed your feelings weren’t so platonic, you didnt say anything about them, you didn’t put an end to the currents. You kept the little perks going because it made Ben feel like more than a friend.

Ben went on about Cecilia, how they met, what she looked like as he flashed his phone at you. She was pretty, just like you said about her name. All common talk and you took it as the good friend you are, listening to him gush.

“She’s really nice,” looking down at his phone, locking it up. “We have a date on Saturday night, it’s our first.”

That’s when you weren’t okay with it anymore. That same knot pulled to its limits within you. Ben and you were supposed to go out on Saturday night. He was going to be your date.

Caught up in your thoughts, your feelings, you didn’t realize the blonde fellow was still talking to you. “Y/N?” He called, looking at you weary.

“Hm?” You hummed.

“You alright, love?” Ugh, he was only making it worse. Slowly you nodded, “Yeah, um. Go on?”

He was still peering at you, strangely. “Any advice?”

He was asking you advice on his date? He never did this before, ever. What was going on? You felt overwhelmed.

Shrugging, “Just be yourself.” not sure what else to say except what you should’ve told him from the beginning. You looked down at your phone, a clear screen but it was quickest get away.

“I’ve gotta go. Elizabeth needs me.” You announced, standing up from the booth. Ben squinted his eyebrows to you, “is everything alright? Our food hasn’t come yet.” Sincerely worried by you.

You shook your head, grabbing your coat, fumbling through your purse for a few dollars. “Lunch is on me, I’m sorry, Ben.” Placing the bills on the table before you shimmied out of the booth. Without a goodbye.

“I’ll text you.” You heard Ben yell as you reached the door and on to work you went.

+

It’s been a week since Ben has heard from you. He’d text you, in the beginning he would get one worded replies to then nothing. He called you, going straight to voicemail. He drove by your apartment and no answer. Your work wasn’t much help either, saying you in meetings and such like you told them to do. He was really worried about you.

Ben sat on his sofa with a beer on the coffee table and a controller in hand as Joe and him played FIFA.

“So a week?” Joe questioned, his eyes still on the tv. “That’s really unusual of y/n.”

Ben nodded, leaning to grab a sip of his beverage, “I don’t know what happened. I last seen her for lunch and she left abrupt because of work”

Joe knew you the same amount of time Ben did since Ben introduced you two. Unlike Ben, Joe was quite aware of your crush on Ben. He had found out at a party way back when, the stares you gave Ben were a dead giveaway. He wasn’t going to let you live it down until you told him that Ben didn’t know and this was “something you needed to work out on your own.” You quoted to him.

He paused the game, “Alright?” Ben raised a brow, looking at his red headed friend for explanations.

“Let’s figure this out.” Joe said, clearing his throat after a swig of his beer. “What happened during lunch?”

Ben sat up straight now, his hands meeting in the openness of his lap. Trying to think back to the last Wednesday he seen you.

“Ehm, we talked about her job. Elizabeth was putting a lot on her plate.” He began, Joe listened carefully. He knew that wasn’t a culprit. “Go on.”

Ben closed his eyes for a second, “oh” he spoke, “I talked about an upcoming date with Cecilia.”

Joe smiled, toothlessly. “Bingo.”

Ben looked at him, confused. “What do you mean “bingo”?” Joe then placed his hand on his friends shoulder.

“It’s not for me to explain. But I know that’s a reason why she left in a hurry.” He explained, “She and I quote, has something to tell you that she needs to tell you herself. Go try and see if she’s home again.”

+

After the confusing conversation with Joe, Ben jumped into his car and headed to your apartment. Still trying to figure out what you had to explain, it was eating at him but he wasn’t going to let this go. He needed to know what was going on.

You were cooped up in living room, snuggled in a plush throw, eating popcorn and watching a marathon of the office by yourself when you heard a banging at your door. 

Spooked, you muted your tv and rised from the sofa. Slowly making your way to the door and picking up a vase.

“Y/N, open up!” It was Ben, “I know you’re in there.”

You sighed to yourself, placing the vase back where it was before heading to the door and unlocking it.

The blonde, dressed in grey joggers and hoodie that match with slippers. Stood on your front step, staring at you with his green eyes almost glowing from the little light hanging above outside.

“Hi?” You greeted, not knowing how to exactly redeem your week absence. Ben’s brows raised, like he was surprised to even hear you speak, let alone answer the door in the first place.

“Can I come in?” Asking, you looked at the ground before you nodded. Backing up with the door in front of you as he let himself in.

You closed the door after he had entered, following him to the living room. It was quiet for the most part, watching Ben looking over the screen of the tv and the current state of your living room as you were cozied up for a night in.

“Do you want something to-”

“An explanation, yes.” He commanded, then. Looking right at you now, you folded your arms in front of your chest. Closing your open sweater, tighter to you.

“There’s nothing to explain? I’ve been busy, I guess.”

Ben didn’t by it for a minute, looking at you dumbfounded, briefly. Knowing you well enough to know you were lying. “Bull shit.”

Your eyes shot up at him from his words, Ben had a potty mouth but nothing ever directed towards you. “What’s going on? Everyone seems to know more than I do.”

Raising your brow, “What do you mean?” You asked, trying to figure out what was going on compared to what you thought he was here for.”

“Joe told me you had something to say to me that needed to come from you.” Your mouth dropped, you were going to kill Joe the next time you seen him.

Immediately you pushed back your hair, stressed out by being put on the spot. “So what’s going on?” He repeated.

You bit your lip, looking down at your feet before looking up at him again, his green eyes searching every inch of you for answers through your silence. Sighing, you rolled your eyes.

“I was mad.” You began, folding your arms across your chest again, standing at the end of your couch as Ben stood almost in front of you, near the coffee table. His brows furrowed, “Why?”

“Because of your date. I didn’t want it to happen. You were supposed to hang out with me that day.” Feeling the brim of your eyes becoming moistened. Ben still had a confused look on his face, “Is that it?” His deep raspy voice asking.

You looked to the ground between you, shaking your head. “No,”

“I was more upset because it wasn’t me.” You admitted, “I wasn’t Cecilia. I wasn’t the ‘date’ you were gushing over. I’ve been pissed at every date you have,” you felt tears steaming your cheeks now, looking up at him.

“But I’ve been so in love with you, that I’ve allowed it to just hang over. Then you asked me for advice and you never do that. I knew this girl was going to be something for you if you were going all that length to impress her.”

Your hand met your mouth now, feeling the wetness of your face from crying as you spoke. Feeling relieved, scared, in disbelief that all of those words hit the air finally.

Ben didn’t say anything, he didn’t know what to say because he wasn’t sure how to explain that he’s been waiting to hear you say that all this time. He was just as in love with you, maybe even more than you could imagine. He wanted nothing more than those girls to be you, some of them were just dinner dates because his feelings were too unbearable to want to be with anyone else. So unbearable that he called off the date with Cecilia moments after you walked out of the restaurant.

You stared at Ben gazing right back at you. You thought your heart was going to explode by the minutes passing in silence. You couldn’t tell what he he was thinking right now but it was eating you alive.

“Please say something.” You muttered, still searching him. You watched as his face straightened, shaking his head. “No”

You felt your heart drop to your feet. “No?” You questioned, he gripped his bottom lip between his teeth.

“No.” He said again, getting closer to you as your eyes never left his. “Because I rather do this.”

Before you could register what he meant, Ben wrapped his hands around your face and crashed his lips upon yours. You didn’t kiss back right away, but when one hand slipped to the middle of your back. Your lips moved in sync of his, feeling warm, soft against yours. Reaching up with your hand to his neck and fingers wrapping themselves in his golden locks as your lips swell under his. Completely lost in your sense, trying to realize this wasn’t a dream you were experiencing.

Ben pulled away, still close as you felt his breath featherlight as your lips as you caught air. “You alright?”

You nodded, your hands still in his hair as you looked in his eyes, still feeling like a dream.

“As long as you keep doing that. I will be.” Ben dropped his head slightly, chuckling at your breathless words, meeting your eyes again. Before his lips met yours once again.

tag list - @chocolatekisses8 @onceuponadetectivedemigod @blitchen @fairestkillerqueenofall @deakydeacs @bamfkurt @queen-turtle-boiii @bashfulshy @prettylittlegoldfish @spicyarreagaa @jonesyaddiction @strawberry-blondie @m90schick @deadlyaffairs @ihatethespacebars @rocknrollqueenie @winters0ul @grapesondolan @chubbybunnybenny @borhapwifey @pamacs-macs @rogerinahardy1 @gaycarolz @slytherinxval @crazylittlethingcalledtina @oxuminaa @mrsobrien-stilinski @the-southernbelle @rogerina-hardy @verar1 @flapjackjackass @oofsweetgg @jessicaa-the-weirdo @shi-tmp3 @sunflower653348 @michael-is-bae @cupcake09cup @randomfandomshitposts @ashadoresbenhardy @lilpxnda @muscleshirtgamewasstrong @coincidence-ithinknots-blog @choc-chip-chick @roger-taylors-drumsticks

[the-reverse-mermaid]

Feel Again: a whump fic

Hey buddies! I’m working on my WIPs currently and i am so grateful for ur patience but i’ve also had this thing sitting in my docs for several months and I wanted to share it at last, but just a clip because..well...in whole, it’s kinda darker than my usual stuff so the whole thing may or may not be posted in the future. This is a gift for the wondrous @parkrstark​ who had a birthday recently and who is a beautiful person and talented writer <3 Enjoy, my love~

FIC INFO: around 5k words, IronDad and SpiderSon, hurt/comfort, warnings for nightmares, panic/anxiety attacks, past dehumanization; also it’s implied that Tony is Peter’s guardian bc May died...sry, i was too coward to write her ^^;

...

It’s been seven days, ten hours and fifteen minutes. 

Peter watches, blank-faced and empty-eyed, as bowl and spoon are placed in his hands. It makes Tony feel like he’s dealing with a robot, but even his robots are more lively than this. Taking Peter’s spoon, the man presses the Cheerios under the milk so that every piece of cereal will be soggy, just the way Peter likes. In times past Tony had made fun of him for the preference, and Peter had ardently defended it as the only right way to eat cereal. 

Now the memory of Old Peter echoes in the back of his mind like a glimpse of an alternate reality.

“Think you can finish all of that, buddy?” Tony asks, leaning down so he’s in Peter’s line of sight. Dulled brown eyes trail up to him, then back to the bowl and he nods, picking up the spoon. Tony breathes a sigh of relief as the kid starts to eat, chewing slowly.

He checks his phone and feels a nervous thrill at the notification there: I’m about to come down. Still want to do this? He glances at Peter before typing and sending a quick, Yes, ty.

“Hey, bud, remember that time you, me and Pep spent Saturday morning watching dumb cartoons and eating breakfast food til noon?” he begins, picking at his own cereal to seem casual about it. “I thought we could do that today, since she’s got no meetings til this afternoon. Whaddaya say?”

Peter pauses. He lifts one shoulder indifferently, but Tony can see anxiety hidden in the movement. Apathy and fear; whatever happened in the last four months stripped Peter-- lively, expressive Peter-- of all but these two emotions. They might as well have stolen Tony’s entire fortune; that loss would’ve hurt less.

Before Tony can think how to reassure him or possibly backtrack, there are footsteps in the hall and Pepper is rounding the corner with a bright smile on her face.

“Hey, guys!” she greets, pausing in the entrance of the kitchen to look them over. She’s comfortably dressed in pajama bottoms and her ‘I lost an electron’ shirt that she and Peter both own, her hair down and feet socked. It’s 10 times less intimidating than her usual business suits and high heels but still Peter squirms closer to Tony’s side and eyes her warily, choosing to look at her feet rather than her face. Pepper wilts a bit at the reception.

“Morning, hon,” Tony calls. He pushes a pleading ‘we can do this, just act normal’ into his gaze, and Pepper, bless her, seems to get the message. “We’ve got cereal over here, help yourself.”

Pepper grabs a bowl off the counter and crosses the room, her movements deliberate and nonthreatening. There’s no change from Peter, whose own bowl is sitting in his lap like something hardly worth his interest.

“Hmm,” she hums. “Cheerios are good, but mind if I add to the spread? I think we’ve got some frozen quiches around here somewhere, that sounds good to me.”

Tony smiles. “Go for it.” As soon as she walks away he nudges Peter and says quietly, “You’re okay, Pete. Nothing to be stressed about, yeah? Pep is just like me: she wouldn’t do anything to hurt you.”

For what it’s worth, the kid does relax minutely. In the interim of Pepper opening packages and using the microwave, Tony picks up the remote and turns on the TV, browsing around for something safe and feel-good before settling on Nickelodeon, which is showing some animated movie. Peter’s eyes flick up to the screen.

“Alright, I got mini-quiches and even some blueberry muffins, ” Pepper announces upon her return, both hands holding trays of said items. “Totally gourmet... And by gourmet, I mean Costco brand.”

“The best,” Tony agrees, snatching one of each as soon as she sets them down. “Which would you rather have, bud?” He turns to Peter, who is done with his cereal and is now looking at the new food. At Tony’s invitation he hesitates but points at a muffin and Tony tries not to get too excited about it as he hands one over and watches the kid begin nibbling the top. So far things seem to be going well.

Now he’s just gotta go through with the next step.

Around ten minutes in, the movie cuts to a commercial break. Tony shifts in preparation to stand up and Peter immediately follows suit, not even questioning, but carefully Tony takes the boy’s hands and holds them at arm’s length. Peter looks at him questioningly, a rare moment of eye contact.

“I’m just gonna take a bathroom break, okay, bud?” he explains. “You stay here with Pep.” He tucks Peter’s hands to his lap and stands.

Peter keens and sits up straighter, wide eyes kindling anew with anxiety. Tony feels like the worst human being on the planet, but he knows he needs to do this. He needs to help Peter do this.

“It’s just a few minutes apart,” he promises. “I’ll go straight there and back.”

“And I’ll be here with you the whole time,” Pepper chimes in. She scoots closer from the other side of the couch and puts a soothing hand on Peter’s back, easing him back into the cushions as Tony leaves the room. The man tries not to look back as he hears her quieting and comforting the boy’s whimpers. Pepper is a better people person than Tony will ever be and he knows she’ll take good care of him, but Tony’s fingers still itch with the urge to turn right back around.

As soon as he gets to the bathroom, Tony pulls up a feed of the living room on his phone via FRIDAY’s cams to watch the room he just left. On the couch, Peter is decidedly not coping as well with Pepper as he does Tony, but he isn’t having a meltdown; in fact, he’s allowing her to sit close and keep an arm wrapped around his shoulders, though his forehead remains creased in apprehension. The poor kid looks like he’s fighting with himself to be patient; his gaze is torn between watching the TV and checking the doorway for Tony’s return.

Biting his lip, Tony puts his screen away and sighs. He paces the small space, checking his watch impatiently until at last five minutes have passed.

On his way back he hears it.

The yelling.

“Peter? Peter, honey, you’re okay! Please calm down, you’re home, you’re safe-” Pepper.

His walk turns into a sprint as he rounds the corner, heart in his throat, and takes in the worrying scene before him.

Peter is curled up in a fetal position on the couch, Pepper kneeling in front of him with helplessness on her face as she tries to get his attention. Peter’s hands are pressed over his ears, his eyes clenched shut, his whole body shuddering as he rocks and cries inconsolably.

“What happened?” Tony demands.

Pepper hurries backwards so Tony can take her spot. “I don’t know what- what agitated him,” she says in a rush. There are tears in her eyes. “He just suddenly started panicking and hyperventilating and- and he won’t let me touch him, he screams if I try-”

“Don’t scream!” Peter says suddenly. Both adults’ attention snaps to him. His eyes have opened but they’re unseeing as he croaks, “Don’t scream, they- they’ll hear! Be good, be good, be good, I- I’m good- please, I’m--”

“Peter, hey,” Tony tries, carefully putting his hand on Peter’s shoulder.

At the touch, Peter flinches, his head smacking against the couch. His whispering gets more frantic. “I’ll be better! I will! I-”

“Peter, please, stop!” The man takes Peter’s face between his hands. “You’re safe. Nobody’s gonna hurt you. Can you hear me, buddy? It’s your- it’s Tony.”

Peter goes still.

“Tony,” he repeats. His face crumples slowly, lip trembling. “I miss Tony...”

The man of iron feels his heart splinter. I miss you, too, Pete. Come back to me.

“You’ve got him,” he says. “Tony’s here now. He’s got you. He’s gonna keep you safe.”

In the stillness that follows, all is quiet save the sound of Peter’s rapid breathing, but even that is slowing and evening out. His blinks several times as the storm clouds in his eyes dissipate, light returning gradually as the seconds pass. Tony’s thumb strokes away a tear still rolling down the boy’s cheek, and at last Peter focuses and looks at rather than through him.

They stare at one another for a long moment. The teen swallows and opens his mouth with a shaky inhale, a fresh sheen of tears filling his eyes.

“S-sorry… my bad,” he rasps.

Tony’s brain short-circuits for a moment, and all he can think is how unbelievable it is that the most of Peter he’s seen in so long could come as the result of such an episode. He doesn’t know whether it makes him want to laugh or cry.

He pulls himself onto the couch and gathers his kid into his arms, one hand bracing Peter’s back, the other nestling in his still-overgrown curls. Peter responds by clinging around his middle and pressing his ear to Tony’s chest, no doubt timing his breaths by the heartbeats there.

It’s only after Pepper leaves to find them a blanket that Tony sees the TV screen and the image it’s paused on. It’s an infomercial… an infomercial for obedience training. The closed captioning advertises “Don Sullivan’s Secrets To Training The Perfect Dog: order the DVD set now and get a complimentary Command Collar”.

Tony had never had strong feelings about infomercials in general but at that moment he wants nothing more than to buy every single TV station and destroy them all. Screw Don Sullivan.

He’s surprised when Peter suddenly huffs a humorless sound. “I’m pretty broken, aren’t I,” he states quietly, voice wrecked.

Tony pushes his fingers through the scruff on the back of Peter’s neck, wishing so hard that he could turn back time. “No,” he refutes. “No, you’re not.”

Peter is quiet for a long time, so long that Tony wonders if he’s given in to the pull of post-panic-attack exhaustion and fallen asleep. But in a tired voice weighted by more sadness than any man, woman or child should ever know comes a tiny reply:

“Yes, I am.”

...

Peter has scars. A lot of them.

It’s been fifteen days since and he’s barely improved, still clinging and hesitant to speak or make eye contact with anyone other than Tony. He lets himself talk in small bursts but it’s nothing like he used to be; he can also manage up to fifteen minutes alone without having a panic attack if Tony has to shower or use the restroom. He does the same so long as Tony waits for him outside the door (within range of hearing his heartbeat).

After the disastrous separation experiment, Tony isn’t eager to push much more than that.

(Peter has scars.)

Some are thicker than others, especially on his wrists and his back; the white lines criss crossing over his form tell tale of screams long since silenced. Just seeing the marks makes Tony’s knees weak with a concoction of feelings he can’t describe-- prominently there’s horror, because he remembers how every injury was discovered and treated on that first night back and it was like Tony himself was taking a beating… and then there’s regret-guilt-anger-helplessness, because the cuts are healed now-- Peter’s healing capabilities took over soon after he got the proper nutrition and medical attention-- but poison memories are sealed inside.

If he hugs the kid a little longer than necessary after watching him get his boot cast removed and seeing the scar tissue that mars him there too, Peter doesn’t seem to mind. The kid leans into his touch more now than he ever did before.

“Alright, little shadow,” Tony says brightly as he pulls away, using the nickname that had never been more appropriate in their relationship; having a kid clinging closer than a literal shadow at all times did that to you. He glances one more time at the newly-healed foot and gets an idea. “What do you say we celebrate this cast coming off? Wanna take a walk around the compound, get some fresh air?”

Peter looks up at him through his ragged, unstyled hair, doe eyes wide but empty. Tony smooths his bangs back and the kid blinks once as if to focus. Tony can see him trying to be there, trying to care. Trying and trying and trying.

“...’kay,” he whispers, fragile. He lets Tony take his hands and help him stand.

Once he’s got them bundled up in jackets to withstand cold winds that roll off the water, Tony hiding a wrist gauntlet on the hand in his pocket (because yes, he’s that paranoid), the two of them (as one figure) step outside for the first time in-- in a while. Definitely a while.

A cool breeze follows them on their walk and Tony allows a deep breath of actual fresh air to clean out his lungs and settle in his veins. It’s not very often he gets to enjoy the benefits of living outside the city.

They end up walking along a trail that follows the Hudson and Tony decides that this actually was a good idea: the nature-y sights and sounds seem to help bring Peter to life. There’s a glimmer of contentedness in his face as he looks out over the trees and water and sky. He loosens his grip on Tony’s arm and settles for a gentle handhold. Tony looks at him sideways, feeling a swell of hope rise in his chest, right behind where his arc reactor used to be.

“It’s nice to get out, huh,” he says softly. The edges of Peter’s eyes crinkle in what might be the world’s tiniest beginning of a smile.

Other than occasionally checking that Peter’s leg isn’t hurting, Tony shuts his mouth and lets the white noise around them do its thing. He’s been talking too much lately anyway, trying to overcompensate.

They’ve been walking for almost an hour and stopped to admire a small waterfall when Peter suddenly bristles and presses himself close to Tony’s side. In paranoia, the man pulls his gauntlet hand out of his pocket and is all but ready to activate it, when all that comes around the path toward them is a wobbling toddler in a puffy coat.

They stare at him. He stares back, a gap-tooth grin on his face. “‘Ah-dy!” he says in greeting.

No, nope, I’ve definitely got my hands full being just ONE kid’s Daddy, Tony thinks worriedly, when behind the toddler appears a man who moves to scoop the boy up in his arms. The man holds the boy, who’s probably about 18-24 months old, by his feet and the kid shrieks in delight, wiggling around upside-down.

“Leaving me behind, guys?” a woman’s voice calls before a third person appears, putting her arm on her husband’s shoulder and glancing curiously at Tony and Peter. Peter hides himself behind Tony, eyes on the dirt, and Tony manages to cast them a weak smile to be polite whilst squeezing his kid’s arm reassuringly.

The man sets their kid down and he immediately spins around, looking at the waterfall. “Wa-er!” As he tottles away, Tony catches sight of the symbol on the back of his coat and does a double-take.

“Nice jacket,” he says without thinking.

He glances down at Peter. The kid has noticed too-- his eyes are locked on the symbol, expression unreadable.

The man turns around from where he and his wife are watching their toddler. He follows their gaze and laughs. It’s a tiny Spider-Man themed coat.

“Thanks! Spidey’s our family’s favorite. He saved Shannon’s life when she was pregnant with this dude,” he says, indicating his family members respectively. “The guy may not be around lately, or moved, or- whatever, there’s lot’s of theories- but... he isn’t forgotten, not for us.”

“-ah-DEE!” the little guy calls from where he and the woman have wandered, and this time he seems to be referring to his actual daddy so the man gives them an awkward little wave before walking off to catch up.

The strangers gone, Peter sags into Tony’s side. His face is still unreadable. Tony can’t think of anything to do other than wordlessly steer them down the path toward home, wondering at the heavy thought bubbles building over his kid’s head.

…

Sixteen-and-a-half days.

A strangled-sounding scream cuts through the dark and into Tony’s heart like a knife.

Tony’s startled but he isn’t surprised; startled because of the rude awakening from being asleep at the kid’s side, and the ever-terrifying possibility that something might be wrong, but not surprised in the conventional way because he’s aware that this has happened every night since the kid came off the heavy meds.

Peter is whimpering strings of ‘please’ and ‘no’, and Tony turns on the bedside lamp to see him huddled in a ball, eyes closed and budding with tears, one fist stuffed in his mouth to stifle the noise. He winces when Tony puts a hand on the side of his head.

“Peter,” Tony whispers, so tired. “Peter, bud, you’re okay. It’s just a bad dream. Open those eyes for me?”

Peter whines, but his eyes do crack open to anguished slits. He’s shaking beneath Tony’s palm, and biting down so hard on his hand that the man sees a trail of blood running down his knuckles. Tony’s other hand gently pries the fist out away from his mouth. Peter lets him.

“Hey bud,” the man greets softly, catching the kid’s gaze. Peter stills as his surrogate father rubs a thumb along his temple soothingly.

Tony smiles sadly. “What did I tell those nightmares last night, huh? My kid is off-limits; only good dreams allowed. Iron Man decrees it.”

Peter stares at him, breathing erratic as his awareness returns. He inhales sharply, an attempt to calm down, but his breath catches on a sob on the exhale. He covers his face with both hands and dissolves into fresh cries, leaning into Tony as the man takes the back of his head and pulls him close.

“Shhh,” Tony murmurs, fingers carding through the curls at Peter’s nape. “Shh, it’s okay. It’s okay. Go ahead and cry, I’m here.”

It takes some time for Peter to cry himself out. Tony doesn’t stop whispering reassurances the whole time. He can tell by the pace of the breaths beneath him that Peter’s still awake.

“You can tell me anything, Pete,” he offers gently, as he has every night. “I’m here for you.”

Peter has yet to tell Tony about what happened to him, or about the nightmares that haunt him so badly. As he comforts, Tony traces his thumb across the hollow under Peter’s eye, wiping away wetness there and remembering how the straps of a muzzle had traced the same spot in a perverse fashion not so long ago, before Iron Man had removed and destroyed the thing in disgust.

Some scars can’t be bandaged as easily as others, but for the first time in all such nights, Peter does respond.

“Mr. Stark,” he says so softly that Tony holds his breath so as to not miss anything, “Mr. Stark, I- I don’t- I just don’t understand.”

It’s in these moments, somehow, that Peter is most himself. The storms drag Peter out of his hiding place. “What don’t you understand,” the man prompts. He pulls back to see the teen’s face. His young brow is furrowed in- confusion? concentration?

Peter chews his lip for a moment before going on. “It’s like, when I was there… all I could- all I dreamed about was home. But now I’m here and I, I can’t- I’m st-still there, you know?” He meets Tony’s eyes. “What if I can’t ever really come home?” he concludes hopelessly.

Tony does unfortunately, painfully know what he’s asking about, because he has a similar trauma and it’s called Afghanistan.

“You just need time, buddy,” he says. “I know what you mean, trust me, I do. It just gets better with time.”

“Is it worth it?” Peter presses suddenly. “Am I-” His eyes trail sideways to the sheets and he swallows. “Am I even worth it?”

Tony’s jaw hardens. “That’s not even a question.”

“I-I did bad things… And, and I’m not the same.”

“You didn’t have a choice, kid. And being different? That’s not as bad as you think.”

“I’m ruining your life.”

“Peter, you are not-”

“I’m inhuman and I’m a waste of space.”

It’s the way he says it, like it’s a known fact, something he’s been drilled with and long since accepted, that really gets under Tony’s skin. He’s been pretty good at holding himself together so far, all things considered, but can’t help that he feels his own eyes stinging with tears at the sound of his kid reiterating the garbage he’s been brainwashed with.

He sits up so suddenly that Peter startles.

“I’m not really tired anymore,” he says briskly, throwing the covers off himself and trying to discreetly wipe at his eyes.

Peter pushes himself up too, eyes wide and concerned. “Mr. Stark?”

“I’m feeling like a trip to the lab, maybe a snack on the way. How ‘bout you, kid? Wanna join your old man for some late night wandering?”

Peter presses his lips together in confusion, but he nods. Tony pushes the covers back more so that the kid can get his feet on the ground before stepping out himself, the both of them slipping into their usual bracing of one another.

Apparently speaking, and now getting up, is too much deviation from the routine for Peter because in his eyes he’s slipping back into himself, expression closing off. Tony hopes he doesn’t feel embarrassed; Before-Peter would’ve been, but Now-Peter is hard to read.

FRIDAY turns on lights as they pad down the hall, already long since attuned to Tony’s nocturnal habits. A quick stop at the kitchen supplies them with a bowl of Chex mix, and then the lab doors are whooshing open and Tony’s realizing he doesn’t actually feel like tinkering. He just needed a reprieve to collect his thoughts but now he’s got Peter out of bed for no reason and it’s not healthy, he’s gonna ruin his kid, he’s a terrible guardian-

He shakes his head. One thing at a time.

“Come sit with me,” he says unnecessarily, leading a compliant Peter to the couch and settling him down with the bowl of Chex in his lap. Neither of them move to eat any of it. Tony takes a seat beside him and drums his fingers on the knee of his worn sweatpants for a long moment, looking around for something to do now that he’s brought them here.

His eyes fall on a forgotten Target bag sitting stuffed in one corner and the metaphorical light bulb goes on.

As quickly as he sat, Tony’s back on his feet. Peter’s gaze follows him as he crosses to a nearby screen, booting it on and then retrieving the items he needs from the shopping bag. He shields his activities from Peter and whispers instructions to FRIDAY before finally whirling around to look at his kid with a crazy grin. It probably seems like he’s gone crazy at this point.

“Buddy, I have one question for ya,” he states, hands raising and pausing for dramatic effect. “Have you ever played… Just Dance?”

Peter stares at him the way one might stare at a fascinating tornado. He slowly shakes his head.

Tony laughs nervously. “Uhh... me neither. But listen, after you moved in, I kind of-” ...panicked... “-sent Happy to the store to find things you might like to have around the house? Like video games? I don’t know what kids like. Happy doesn’t either. He must’ve checked the internet or something because he came home with this, and kid, can you imagine Harold Hogan in the store buying a dancing game? Now that’s an image I treasure. On behalf of his efforts, I think we should give it a go, right here, right now.”

By the time the rambling stops, Dum-E, U and Butterfingers have made their way to this corner of the lab like curious cats trying to interpret their boss’ strange behavior. Noticing their presence, Tony throws his arm out to point at Dum-E. The other two bots startle comically.

“You,” Tony declares. “You can hold a wii remote, right? You and me. Let’s dance. Pete, you’re on the tambourine. I don’t actually have a tambourine. Just keep time by knocking, like this.”

The man leans forward and raps his knuckles twice against the side of the chex mix bowl. It’s not like it’s loud, or even necessary, but it’s something to get the kid involved. Peter looks a little lost, but not in the dissociative way- more like he’s trying to figure out if he’s actually awake or if this is a weird dream he’s having. Still, Tony’s on a roll and he feels dangerously confident. Not quite confident enough to ask Peter to dance, but enough to make a fool of himself in the hopes of bringing comic relief to one of their awful nights.

Within a few minutes, FRIDAY has configured the game on Tony’s screen and the main menu music is playing through the speakers. One newly-unwrapped wii-remote is clutched in Dum-E’s claw, safety strap secured, and Tony’s using the other to flip through the menu and create player profiles.

“Okay, so…” he mutters, finally arriving at the song selection screen. “What do we have here... Gotta make sure we choose an easy one. Not for me, of course; I’m worried about dum-dum over there.”

His eye catches on a song title, and he pauses to let the sample play. At first it was just because the song is marked “Beginner Level”, but he recognizes the clip as a tune he’d once caught Peter humming as he worked on some homework. Being the privacy-respecting parental figure he is, Tony had proceeded to tease him relentlessly because One Direction? Wow, Pete, gotta say I didn’t peg you as a pre-teen girl from 2012.

Still, out of the corner of his eye, he sees Peter perk just slightly, the little dork-- and it’s enough that Tony’s pressing the ‘play’ button without further mental argument.

The screen changes to four dancers, two of which are labeled for his and Dum-E’s remotes. As the opening measures of guitar riff begin, Tony mimics the pose of the avatar on screen and peeks over his shoulder.

“I need my tambourine player,” he reminds, and though Peter’s face is twisted in an expression of intrigue, he quickly readies his knuckle against the side of the Chex bowl and starts tapping it in time with the music.

And Tony dances.

“You’re insecure… Don’t know what for. You’re turnin’ heads as you walk through the do-o-or.”

“How the crap?” Tony mutters, watching Dum-E hit every move perfectly whilst his own avatar misses several points. “How-“

“Don’t need make-up… to cover up. Bein’ the way that you are in en-uh-uh-ough.”

The graphics go crazy for the beginning of the chorus and Tony cringes, though that changes when behind him he hears a small laugh that makes his heart stutter. He doesn’t look just yet, just tries harder to wave his remote hand in time with the song with exaggerated movements.

“Baby, you light up my world like nobody else. The way that you flip your hair gets me overwhelmed-“

This is definitely written for preteen girls, he sighs internally. Still... it’s undeniably catchy. To add to the show, he starts mumble-singing out the words aloud as they scroll on-screen:

“The way you smile at the ground, it ain’t hard to tell, you don’t kno-o-ow, you don’t know you’re beautiful-”

That’s when the ‘tambourine’ beats stop. When Tony looks behind him he sees the kid shaking with silent laughter, an open-mouthed smile on his face.

He meets Tony’s eyes and for once there’s no weight of the world there. He’s just-- Peter.

It’s a sight too beautiful to describe.

“Oooh, keep trying!” the game prompts when Tony forgets to keep up. Their eyes flicker to the screen and Tony huffs.

“I’m not cut out for this follow-along stuff,” he says airily, giving up on it completely. “Tony Stark follows no one’s rules but his own.”

And with that, he slings his remote strap around U’s claw and breaks into his own freestyle moves, the ones he usually reserves for dancing in private, when he’s sleep-deprived and a little loopy. Be that as it may, Tony Stark knows he is a good dancer; he never imagined it would come in handy for a moment such as this, but heck, there’s not much he wouldn’t do if it got Peter doubling over in peels of giggles like he is right now.

When the song hits the chorus a second time, Tony grabs a screwdriver off the shelf, turning it upside-down as an impromptu microphone, and he sings the next words directly to his beaming kid:

“Peter, you light up my world like no-bo-dy else. The way that you- have- hair? Na-na-nanana-- The way you smile at the ground, it ain’t hard to tell, you don’t kno-o-ow--”

Peter goes still, a lingering smile on his face as he listens to Tony’s altered lyrics.

“-If only you saw what I can see, you'd understand why I LOVE you so PERFECTLY-- Right now I'm looking at you and I can't believe you don't know, oh oh- You don't know you're beautiful! Oh, oh-oh, Pe-ter you’re so beau-ti-ful!”

Tony breathes out, surprisingly choked up. He repeats the message as emphatically as he can, for however many times the song repeats it, his movements getting more silly and more sloppy until the music finally ends, bots trilling excitedly in the background about Dum-E’s somehow-perfect score.

He lowers himself to the ground in front of Peter, panting from exertion. The hum of menu music plays behind them but the game is forgotten.

“Peter Benjamin Parker,” Tony breathes. “You are worth… everything. The whole world. You were, you are, and you always will be.”

Peter’s eyes shine like stars. He melts into Tony’s hold when the man leans forward.

…

Peter has scars, but Peter is not his scars.

[villa-kulla]

fanfic authors’ tag game

sort of tagged by @fontainebleau22!

AO3 name: VillaKulla

Fandom(s): The Magnificent Seven 2016, previously Breaking Bad, and dipped into the Kingsman fandom on one occasion as well

Number of fics: 24

1. Fic you spent the most time on: 

Oh absolutely Waveson by a mile (or should I say ‘by a league’ lol sorrynotsorry). It started out fast and then I hit the middle section and was stumped about how to give it the vibe I wanted for like a year lol. Managed to get back on it though and power through, but I definitely made the most changes/revisions to that one (rather than my usual ‘write the whole thing out in one-shot/edit as I go/make any necessary language changes later but keep the original structure’ method)

2. Fic you spent the least time on:

I wrote Ashes in like one afternoon lol, which amazes me because of how ‘complete’ that fic feels. Also Desert Sand only took about 3 days cumulatively speaking, although I posted it over the course of a week and a half.

3. Longest fic:

Chisolm’s 7 apparently! Not sure I knew that lol but yeah makes sense, I guess that one’s almost at 100k.

4. Shortest fic: 

Pens & Swords, not sure I knew that either! Aww I’d almost forgotten about that one but yeah, that one is short and sweet in all the ways.

5. Most hits:

The Kingsman football AU I did called Out of Left Field! Surprised that one gained so much traction in such a large fandom, but it did have the benefit of lots of chapters and people putting it on their rec lists. Thank goodness they did, because it was an odd AU premise lol. Desert Sand is a close second though. That one was among the first Mag7 fics so I think it became a bit of a go-to read when the fandom was first getting started, which accounts for a lot of its hits.

6. Most kudos:

Also the Kingsman one, with Desert Sand in second

7. Most comment threads: 

Again with the Kingsman one lol

8. Fave fic you wrote: 

Probs River Grit, it feels nearest and dearest. And idk if I’d call it a favourite just because it’s so damn sad lol, but I feel like In the Pines aka the ‘super sad death fic’ honestly has some of my best writing in it haha. However depressing it was to write, I did enjoy that world and the characterizations, that’s another fic that feels ‘complete’ in a lot of ways

(also I always feel compelled to point out that Billy being the ‘unfortunately chosen one’ WAS NEVER PERSONAL OR HAD ANYTHING TO DO WITH BILLY I LOVE HIM. The whole fic started as a Fried Green Tomatoes prompt gone awry lol, and in that scenario it was Goody who made the cut lol sry Billy ilu <3 Had I intentionally set out to write a major character death fic for the heck of it, it could have gone either way between Goody or Billy. )

9. Fic you want to rewrite/expand on: 

Ooof most of mine I’d keep as is but there are a few I’d change a little. I feel like I kind of rushed Sam’s arc in Chis7 and didn’t give him a proper conclusion so I’d want to expand on his role more. Also there’s an old BrBa fic I did once where I uploaded a first part that was standalone, and then went and added a part two. But looking back it functioned way better as one part. I think I’d also scrap the ‘horse ex machina’ from Desert Sand lmao even though it felt fun at the time, but now it feels cringey (although on the plus side it’s maybe the least pretentious fic I’ve written:P

And not to STILL be lingering on the selkie AU lol, but I still think I could have made that better. I think what it needed was more Billy POV. In my mind Billy was going through a whole ‘little mermaid’ scenario of his own in that fic with wanting to be on land but conflicted about it. But I was aiming for a certain atmosphere of ‘present time only’, so I kept it to just Goody’s POV without delving into too much backstory of either character. But that had the drawback of diminishing Billy’s emotional state, so I feel like his motivations were never entirely clear to the reader. I think I could have solved that by sharply jumping time periods at the start of part 2 and telling Billy’s story in flashback from his POV. I think that would have been really cool. Who knows, maybe I’ll tweak it some day. Also with the selkie au, I hate to say it but they really had better chemistry in the seal scenes lmao.

Also not a fic, but I was once given a FMK scenario with Goody, Billy, and Vasquez, and I would like to revise my previous answers and change it to: F = Goody because he’s nonthreatening, M = Billy because we have canon evidence of him being the best husband in the world, and K = Vasquez because idk he’s a big boy and he can take it

10. Share a bit of your WIP or share a story idea that you’re planning:

I’m not currently working on any fics, although I do miss those sweet cowboys! I’d like to write something else for them but I just haven’t felt sufficiently motivated. But depending on how long this quarantine lasts, who knows lol.

likewise tagging anyone who feels like it!

[stinkyweasley]

Ungovernable. Chapter Two. // Sweetpea x OC.

Pairing: Sweet Pea x Eleanor Fenn

Genre: Gang, future smut, angst, slow burn

Word count: 1.2k lol

Rating: PG-13 future parts may be rated R or NC-17

Warnings: swearing, underaged drinking, underaged drug use, abuse, stalking, harassment.

A/N: sry for posting late and lol pissed that i had to upload this twice.

School is bullshit no matter where you live, my first day at Southside High was a huge blow. I definitely befriended some younger serpents though, and thankfully I was "protected" by the serpents.

Apparently there's another gang but they're considered the Ghoulies, and they're all drug heads and really fucked up. I knew about more gangs, but according to Fangs and Sweet pea, these guys are insane.

I'm not surprised though, Riverdale is not an exception. Every place has the crew with some fucked up people.

On my second day, I got some back talk from this outsider who goes to the school, saying they know I wasn't a real serpent and how I shouldn't be sitting and hanging out with the Serpents, let alone be wearing one of the jackets.

Toni said to ignore it, outcasts try and pick on everyone but back out when they get shit on for being a dickhead.

The teachers here are stupid, not as bad as the last place I was, at least these ones can get a word out in the class. My mother may be an uptight bitch but she used all her money on herself, so I ended up going to trash schools anyways.

Southside High is a bit of an upgrade since my last school you couldn't even hang out anywhere besides outside or in the classrooms during school hours.

A lot of pregnant teens ran around the school, stupid guys with no brains would knock up chicks in the bathrooms, janitor closets. No one really went to the lunch room either considering someone was probably getting fingered under the table.

I had a few friends, I usually hung out with the stoners, or the kids that skipped everyday.

It was currently 5am in the morning on Friday, I was taking The Beast for a morning walk, I seen him at the Wyrm and he was so cute I needed him. My dad says he's the first task when becoming a serpent, to take care of Hotdog. Which is really rude because he's a cute pup, if you don't smell his breathe.

The moon was very much still shining and I was wearing some black sweatpants with a cropped t-shirt with a thin sweater overtop.

Clearing my head is probably the hardest thing for me to do, so Hotdog and I usually walk to a park and sit at it and play with a ball together and then walk home. The first real joy in my life for the longest time.

I've always had a soft spot for dogs growing up, never being allowed to have one when living with my mother because she couldn't stand the dogs being on the furniture. Why get a dog if they can't sit with you? I tried to even convince her to let me get a cat, but she told me she was allergic. Allergies? You can take a allergy pill for that. No use explaining that to her though.

I'm not surprised my mother suddenly turned on me, her new husband has always been talking badly about me, suspecting that I am going to get into trouble and end up in jail or worse dead. In his eyes you could do anything and you were a danger. Fucking dickhead. When you got home you let Hotdog in and grabbed your phone and a pack of cigs off the kitchen table and sat on the front steps.

Turning on your phone while taking a drag from your cigarette you checked your emails and texts, seeing a text from a random number, you didn't bother to look at the message you decided to check your emails. Clicking through them you noticed an email from an old flame, it read "I miss you sweetheart." Quickly deleting the email and blocking the email address you looked at your Instagram notifications. Didn't realize a picture of that local restaurant in Riverdale would receive so many likes?

Taking a long drag and blowing it out you finally looked at the unknown number, the numbers area code wasn't Riverdale so the message confused you. "I see you." You were never one to be spooked often, but the fact that you had only given your number out to your new friends disturbed you.

Putting your cig out you ran into the trailer seeing you had an hour to get ready for school. It was Friday but you told Toni you'd meet her at Pops and get coffee before classes.

Rushing out of the house, avoiding a hug from your dad and running over to hotdog to give him a kiss on the head, yelling goodbye and walking in the direction to Pops, put your ear buds in your ears and clicking shuffle in your music.

Your boots shuffle down the road while you lightly bob your head to the tunes playing in your ears. You could see down the road that Toni had just pulled into the parking lot, with Fangs and Sweetpea next to her, Fangs ended up turning around and yelling your name, causing you to pause your music and shoving your earbuds and phone into your the pocket of your jacket.

"Hey Dracula," you smiled ruffling Fang's hair and shoving Pea's side, causing him to turn at you and scowl. Toni looked in your direction and grabbed your hand pulling you away from the boys and dragging you into the building and shoving you into the window seat.

"El, your fit is so cute," Toni said while Fangs and Pea joined you guys at the table. "Yeah El, so so cute," Fangs said mimicking Toni.

"Fangs, shove it." Toni said while glaring at him. When the waiter came over to the table we all ordered. Having about 20 minutes before we needed to be at the school, Toni and Fangs were usually on time and I usually stayed back with Pea since I dont give a fuck about school.

Basically chugging my coffee, I listened to the conversation that was happening in front of me. Feeling a vibration in my pocket I pulled out my phone and seen that it was the same number from earlier, but the message said "Bitch." Shaking my head and putting my phone back in my pocket I downed the rest of the hot liquid. Toni and Fangs announced they were gonna head to the school and I should catch a ride with Pea, which I have done before which isn't anything new.

After they pulled out of the lot, it was usually awkward with me and Pea, ever since yesterday during lunch he's been acting weird with me. "What were you listening to?" he asked me which brought me out of my daze. "I seen you walking and you looked like the song was really good." He said.

Pulling out my phone I looked at my Spotify, "uhh, you probably wouldn't like it, honestly." I told him, but before I could even finish my sentence, he moved from across from me and sat next to me in the booth.

"Lemme listen, I wont judge." He admitted. Rolling my eyes I pulled my headphones out of my pocket and handed him one ear and put the other one in my ear before I played Dancer in the Dark by Chase Atlantic. He looked at me with skeptical eyes before turning away and listening to the song.

"Dancing with the devil?" he repeated from the song when it ended. I nodded before looking at the time and insisted that it was Friday and we shouldn't be an hour late again. He nodded his head and pulled out his wallet and putting down a 10 before we left and hopped on his bike before heading to the school. 

[rickybowensfever]

LOVE SICK (friends to lovers)

WELCOME ZACH AND KYLIE TO THE WORLD. 

I read a book recently (Kiss Cam by Kiara London) that was the Friends to Lovers trope and this one scene didn't show up, so I decided to add new characters and write this scene myself but now it's a short story.

MEET THE CHARACTERS

Zach Perez - High school senior, Spiderman stan, low key, hopless romantic

Kylie Daniels - Also a senior in high school, basically she's a vsco girl, has been best friends with Zach since Kindergarten

Angela Perez - Zach's mother, RN, single parent  

Emily Perez - Zach's sister, currently in med school, 23 years old

Photo Credit: Brandon Woelfel photography. Jess and Gabriel Conte. I do not own the rights to this photo.

SUNDAY NIGHT

Zach is startled awake by a knock on his door, he hears his sisters voice, "Zach? I made some dinner if you're hungry"

"Thanks, I'll be right there" he mutters through the pillow his face is currently in.

"Are you feeling ok? You usually only nap when you're sick" she asked him suspiciously.

"I'm fine. I'm coming" he replied, slowly getting up from his bed.

He couldn't get the conversation from a couple hours ago to stop replaying in his head.

EARLIER...

As they sit on Zach's couch as the credits roll from the movie they just finished watching, Zach takes Kylie's hands in his and looks straight into her eyes.

"Ky...there's something I've been meaning to talk to you about" Zach tells her.

Kylie rolls her eyes at him. "Yeah, I figured since you never want to watch movies and you've been avoiding me all week. Talk" she declares.

Zach trembles as he tries to get the words out. "Uh-um.."

Kylie starts getting annoyed with him and taps her hand on her knee indicating for him to talk.

Zach takes a deep breath, closes his eyes, and opens them back up.

"I know we're best friends and you've always said you want nothing more. But, I can't help it anymore. You're my dream girl and I've just been trying to find someone that will replace my feelings for you. But, I haven't felt the same toward a girl I've dated. That's why Amber and I broke up, I don't love her. I love you, Kylie".

Kylie quickly lets go of his hands and her head falls into her face.

"Zach, I can't. You know we can't" she tells him aggressively, grabbing her purse, keys and starts putting on her UGG boots.

"It just won't work. You're my best friend and I don't want to lose that" she croaks as tears start to run down her face.

"Sorry" she mumbles and heads for the door.

Zach stays in his position on the couch and watches her as she slams the front door.    

Zach shakes his head and walks down the spiral staircase to the kitchen for dinner.

"There you are. It's going to get cold if you don't eat it now" Emily told her little brother.

Zach grabs the plate of Penne pasta with tomato sauce his sister prepared for him and sits at the breakfast bar, quietly picking at his food.

"Ooh, Em. Thank you so much for making dinner. It smells great! I'll take some to work. Long shift tonight"

"Mom, it's really nothing. I don't mind!" Emily exclaimed.

Angela took the pasta dish and started scooping some into a Tupperware container.

"Zach" his mother called his name and studied him. "You've been awfully quiet. Is everything okay?" she asked.

Zach nodded. "Yep, just a little tired," he replied.

"Alright" she said and pressed the lid onto the container.

"I have to go now. I'll be home around noon tomorrow. Call the hospital if you need anything"

"Will do!" Emily said. Zach nodded.

Angela kissed her children, took her bags and scurried to the door.

Zach pushed his plate to the center of the table. "Em. Sorry, but I'm not really hungry".

Emily frowned at her little brother. "Okay. This is the last time I'll ask. Are you alright?"

"Yeah. I'm really just tired" he lied. Kylie's words kept replaying in his head.

Zach, I can't. You know we can't.

He couldn't concentrate on anything.

Later that night, Zach sat in bed thinking. He should've known better. There's no way he could go to school the next day. It would be awkward and Kylie would be really cold toward him.

MONDAY MORNING

Zach wakes up the next morning too embarrassed to face an irritated Kylie at school.

His mom went into work at midnight and won't be home until the afternoon.

He hasn't been sick all year, so it should be fine if he stays home.

He dials his mother's number and starts coughing into the speaker as he hears her pick up.

"Zach? Is everything ok?"

"Mom..." he says in a raspy voice and sniffles.

"Are you okay?" she asks, now hearing the concern in her voice.

" I feel really sick. I barely slept last night and I think I have a fever. Can I stay home from school?" he says and starts coughing again.

"Oh, of course. I knew something was wrong last night before I left. I'll let Em know. You just get some rest, drink fluids and there's a thermometer and some Advil in the medicine cabinet in the hall bathroom. I'll be home around noon" his mother declares.

"Thanks. Love you" he says into the phone and ends the call.

Yes!  Zach whispers to himself.

Zach lies his head down onto his pillow and begins to text his friend, Dominick who he and Kylie carpool to school with.

Z: Sick with a fever staying home sry

D: Damn alright. I'll just pick up Kylie then. Feel better bro

Z: thanks

Zach leans over to the radiator by his bed and places his forehead up to the furnace to fake a fever.

Then, he hears a knock on his door and his older sister, Emily walks into his room and he lies back in his bed, letting out a train of coughs.

Emily winces as she hears her brother coughing.

"Hey, Mom called and said you're feeling sick?" she asks him.

"Yeah, I think I have a fever" he mumbled.

She takes the back of her hand and feels his forehead.

"Oh wow. You're burning. Let me take your temp" she says as she shows him the thermometer in her hand and places it in his ear and waits for it to beep.

Once the thermometer beeps, she reads it to her brother. "Yikes. 101.2 I have to leave for my internship at the hospital. I'll be back around dinner time. Text if anything changes or if you need anything. I knew something was up last night. You were really not acting like yourself. Get some rest and drink plenty of fluids. I'll bring up some Advil and water before I leave" she says in a strict tone.

"Thanks" he says.

"I'll be right back" she says and exits her brothers room.

Zach rolls over to his side and within minutes, trying to go back to sleep. He hears Emily's footsteps in his room and feels extra weight as she places a cold rag on his forehead and quietly leaves his room, closing the door.

"Hey, I left some Advil and this should help bring your fever down. Get some rest, feel better" she whispers and exits her little brothers room.

Once she's left, he grabs his phone and takes a selfie of himself to post to his Instagram story with sick emoji attached, so Kylie will see it.

Then, he falls back to sleep. Setting an alarm for 11:30am so he'll be ready for is mom to get home.

Kylie's POV

"He's definitely faking, Dom!" she exclaims as she shoves her phone in his face showing the photo of Zach on his Instagram story.

"Dunno. He looks pretty sick to me" Dominick says and shrugs.

"No, he didn't want to face me after last night. He said he loves me!" she exclaimed.

This makes Dominick start cackling and he shakes his head.

"Girl, you're oblivious. He's been in love with you since kindergarten" he tells her.

This makes Kylie roll her eyes, she slams her hand on her knee and says,"I'm flattered, but it won't work. It'll only change our friendship and I don't want that" she explained.

Dominick just nods his head as he puts his car in park in the school parking lot. "Suit yourself" he tells her.

Kylie reads Dominick's current text message from Zach in the cafeteria for lunch.

Dude, can you get my homework? I'm prob gonna miss a couple of days.

"That's it!" Kylie exclaims. "I'm going straight over to his house after school, he was fine last night. He's definitely faking!" she says, getting angry at the fact that Zach is skipping just to ignore her.

"Eh, I don't know. I think he's actually sick. I don't know why you're so hung up about this" Dominick says and shrugs as he bites into his turkey sandwich.

Kylie grabs Dominick's phone out of his hands and starts to text Zach.

Man. How sick are you? Kylie writes.

Pretty sick. I feel like shit, think I have the flu or somethin Zach writes back.

Kylie's face is bright red as she silently reads Zach's text message.

"The flu, he says!" she scoffs and throws her hands in the air.

"We'll see about this" she says.

Dominick just shakes his head, rolling his eyes and yanked his phone from her hands.

Around 11:30 am, Zach's alarm goes off.

He feels strange. Fatigued, a killer headache, chills and his body is aching all over. He takes the rag that is dangling from his forehead and places it beside him on his bed.

He presses the back of his hand to his forehead and feels his fever is still lingering from this morning. He notices he's gotten warmer and grabs the nearest thermometer, places it in his ear until it beeps.

"102.0″ it reads.

Fuck. He whispers and lets out a groan. He didn't mean to actually get sick.

Then, he turns on his XBox to watch Netflix on his TV and chooses the animated movie, Spider-man: Into The Spider-verse and takes another photo for his Instagram story. This time of the Netflix screen loading while he's clearly lying in bed.

      Moments later, he hears the sound of front door shut, his mother dropping her keys on the counter and her footsteps as she heads up to his bedroom.

As she opens the door, Zach turns his head towards the door and lets out a few coughs.

"Hey sweetie. Feeling any better?" his mother asks.

"No" he groans. "Fever's up and I can't stop coughing″

"Aww" she says as she feels his forehead for herself.

"Ooh, yeah. You're burning. The cold rag must not have helped, then?" she asks him.

He just nods.

"Alright. Well I'll grab a new one. Have you ate? You want some toast?"

"Uh, sure" he says in a yawn.

Minutes go by, Zach's mother comes back to his room with a glass of water, a plate with toast and opens the Advil bottle sitting on his nightstand.

She hands him two Advil and a glass of water. "Take this, now" she demands. "I don't want you to get any worse" her voice strict now.

Zach nods, sits up in bed and takes the Advil and washes it down with the water. Then, lies back in bed covering himself in his dark gray fleece blanket and comforter.

"I'm going to get some rest. Work kicked my ass today.  I'll come check on you later. Love you" she says and kisses his hot forehead.

About an hour later, Zach wakes up shivering and a coughing fit ensues. He glances at his phone that is lighting up on his nightstand and grabs it, lying back in bed. The phone reveals an Instagram message notification from Kylie.

Kylierosexo replied to your story

hope you're feeling better 💞

Zach scoffs and drifts back to sleep.

...

Later, Zach wakes up to muffled voices from downstairs.

"Hey, Ky! Thank you so much for bringing his homework by"

Zach swore he was getting delirious. There was no way Kylie was there.

His plan had worked.

"Yeah, he's upstairs, in bed. Try not to get too close, he has been running a high fever all day. Poor thing".

Then, he hears footsteps and his door opens.

"Hey..." she whispers.

Zach lets out a train of coughs and lets out a "Hi" in between them.

"What happened? You were completely fine last night" she asks, glaring at his flushed face with a hand on her hip.

Zach shrugged. "Got sick overnight. I feel like shit " he mumbled.

Kylie takes the back of her hand and feels his warm forehead.

Kylie frowns. "Aw, you are sick".

Zach looks at her confused.

"Why? You didn't believe me?" he barked.

Caught off guard, Kylie stumbles on her words, "Oh, no I believe you now. I thought it was just a little unexpected. That's all".

Zach rolls his eyes and only says, "Cool".

"Zach... I'm sorry I didn't believe you"

"Whatever. What are you actually doing here?" Zach asks her in a frustrated tone meanwhile another coughing fit breaks out.

Kylie winces.

"Aw. Do you need anything?" she asks with a pout.

"Yeah, I need you to tell me why you're here" he demands.

"Zach, you're being a dick" Kylie tells him, raising her eyebrows.

"First, because I'm a GOOD friend and I saw your Instagram stories and I wanted to check on you to see if you were doing okay. Second, I wanted to talk ...about...yesterday" she tells him, hovering over his bed.

"Sorry. I didn't mean to be a dick. I just really feel super sick.  My whole body fucking aches and this fever is kicking my ass. What did you wanna talk about? I heard you loud and clear. Just friends" he says as he tries to make himself more comfortable in his bed.

"Zach. We've been best friends for thirteen years now. I love our friendship and I don't want to mess it up. I'm scared" she says gently to the boy with bright pink cheeks.

He groans and clears his throat.

"I'm delirious right now. So I'm sorry for whatever dumb shit I say. But are you trying to tell me something?" he asks, looking up at her with his brown, glassy eyes.

Kylie smiles and nods. She sits on the edge of the boys bed and runs her hand through his wet hair, full of sweat and kisses his forehead.

"Yes, silly. I love you too and I'm very sorry for the way I acted. I really shouldn't have stormed out like that. Our friendship is so special. But, I would also make a great girlfriend" she says and flips her hair.

Zach lets out a laugh that turns into a coughing fit.      

"I think so too. I'm sorry I was mean to you" he apologized.

"Oh, you're fine. I'm used to it. You being mean to me" she said humorously.

"Ugh, seriously? You're going to roast me while I'm on my deathbed? Thanks, a lot" he replied.  

Kylie laughed at him "Oh, you're so dramatic. You just have a cold"

"Yeah, a cold that is probably going to kill me" Zach declared while frowning at her.

"So...am I your girlfriend now?" she asked with puppy eyes.

"Oh. Ky. We're going to have to discuss this when I don't have an 102 degree fever. Cause right now I want to say hell yeah. But, I need to consult healthy me, first"

"Alright that's fair" she said then got silent and looked around the room.

"Uh.. you can come cuddle if you want? But it's cool if you don't" Zach finally said.

Kylie smiled. "I would like that. Just don't get me sick"

"No promises" Zach said, pulling her onto the bed with him, lying his warm head on her chest.

They resumed the rest of the movie and Zach instantly fell asleep.

      Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed Zach and Kylie and want more, give me some prompts or requests!

This story is on Wattpad if you want to see the photos that go with it. https://www.wattpad.com/story/197077634-love-sick-friends-to-lovers-sickfic

[koolkvat-blog]

       hello  loves  ,   what’s  up  !   i’m  super  excited  to  be  here  &  to  finally  play  my  precious girl  ,   jade aka kool kat   .   i’m  LOLA  ,   use  she / her prounouns  ,   i am NINETEEN  ,   &   i  am  currently  in  the  gmt + 1 timezone  which  means  yes  ,  my  ass should’ve  been  awake  for  intro  posting  but  i  don’t  know  what  time  management  is  and  ended  up  swamped  w/  work  ,  so  !   everything   you  need  to  know  about  about  miss  kat  is  under  the  cut  ,   &  i’m  rlly  thrilled  to  be  apart  of  such  a  wonderful  rp  with  such  gorgeous  muses  .  corniness over  ––   if  you’re  looking  to  plot  sumn  out  ,   just  hit  that   ♥︎    &   i’ll  make  my  way  on  over  to  ur  dms  ,  or  feel  free  to  add  me  up   on  discord  which  i’ll  give  in im’s  if  anybody’s  interested  !   ♡♡♡         tw  :   family issues  ,  body image issues  &  drug mention  ( not  explicit ) . 

001 . SYNOPSIS  . FULL     NAME  .      jade        kikuchi . NICKNAMES  .      kool kat    . AGE  .      twenty - one . DATE     OF     BIRTH  .      twenty  -  seventh     of     september   ,     1993      /     libra . PLACE     OF     BIRTH  .      harajuku ,   tokyo ,     japan .         GENDER  .       cisgender     female . SEXUALITY  .     (  closeted  )  pansexual  . NATIONALITY  .      japanese  ,  now  american  too  after  successfully  gaining  citizenship  . ETHNICITY  .      asian  . OCCUPATION  .       fashion designer at katz designz      ,     former  fashion  design  and  journalist  student  back  in  her  original  timeline  . PLAYLIST  .      here  !  (  +  )     charismatic , enthusiastic , warm , energetic , adventurous , compassionate , animated . (  -  )     deceptive ,  independent ,  emotional , territorial , ambitious , impulsive , temperamental , insecure , sarcastic .  

002 . AESTHETIC  .      wheatgrass  smoothies , 90′s  anime  with  subtitles  , chanel  no. 5, speeding  on  a  desert  road  with  the  windows  down ,  painting  your  toenails  on  the  dashboard ,  neon  prints ,  cat  lazing  on  a  balcony  in  the  sun , black  lace ,  japanese  horror  films  ,  sour  cocktails  with  sugar  around  the  rim , half - smoked  cigarettes ,  stacks  of  fashion  magazines , long  hair  hastily  dyed  different  colours in  a  motel  bathroom ,  thrift  stores   .

003. INFORMATION  .

tl;dr : a flighty, inattentive adventurer: a follower of whims; personable and sociable but lacks the skills to maintain relationships because she’s entirely (and perhaps too) career focused, checks her horoscope daily and entirely relies on the stars when concerning relationships, epitome of a britney spears / gwen stefani stan back in the 2000′s, still owns a (bedazzled) flip phone, collector of vintage fashion (chanel, elle, juicy couture etc.) a subscriber to the Leonardo Da Vinci sleeping method; catch her at 2 am making soufflés or buying plane tickets to shiwei so she can really experience the culture: will tell you she loves you ten minutes after first introduction because she’s high: kind of unintentionally insensitive to those she doesn’t know and closed off but in like a cool, lovable way. 

•    heads up im running on like 5 hrs sleep so sry when this inevitably derails ! ok sweet let’s get into this . 

•    so as aforementioned this is jade kukichi, aka, kool kat. she was dubbed that by her friends due to her unique fashion style and sense of dress, and it’s stuck. lbr nobody other than her friends can use that term so if you do, she’s just going to stare at u for a quick sec before saying ‘it’s jade’. 

•    born in harajuku, tokyo to a cardiothoracic surgeon of a father and a politician of a mother, jade grew up traveling the world and becoming flighty af, never thinking she was going to make long - term friends and kinda being okay with that. 

•    her family has never stayed in one place for very long, though her aging parents eventually settled into a permanent residence in the us around the time she turned sixteen, not soon enough for jade to break the habit of wandering, but thankfully quick enough for her to meet the bratz girls who were just as adventurous and fun - loving as she. she's spent much of her teen life jumping from place to place wherever her interests are that moment, collecting people along the way, but to find friends was the only thing she was missing. jade has a brilliant mind, but she lacks patience and follow through. she needs guidance or she'll jump from idea to idea, job to job, whim to whim.

•    ngl, jade pretty much hated her home life. her parents were an overbearing presence in her life, her mother wanting jade to be a proper lady who also went into a profession like theirs (entirely serious and stifling when it came to creativity, doctor, politician, lawyer etc.) while jade herself wanted to check out the latest trends and go to the mall w her friends – so she turned all of her focus and energy into getting good grades in everything she wanted to do in the hopes that she could be the most successful fashion designer, then leaving town forever. 

•    like she spent 7 yrs in high school graduating w honours but she barely knew what was happening in 9/10 of her classes and sometimes she just slept through classes and then wing her exams which she miraculously did well at. it was just not a good idea to send jade to a public school at 11 after being in boarding school for the rest of her life and then never really enforce any rules :~\ she has trouble with that kind of thing.. as in making logical choices instead of saying "YEAH lets go watch american psycho and smoke weed!" skipping chemistry to do just that 

•    she loves fun and values doing what makes her happy over most things. it's hard to pin her down and she spends most of her life chasing after ideas that don't really follow any sort of conscious order, bc she’s really got that ‘i’ve got dreams and i’m gonna do everything in my power to achieve them’ personality. 

•    according to bratz canon she’s worked as literally everything ? she’s one of those insufferable people who r just. good everything ig and that’s just how it is on this bitch of an earth. jade’s been a photographer, a song - writer and bass player in a rock band (shout out to bratz rock angelz the best movie w the best soundtrack ever), a student studying fashion design, a fashion columnist, a quickly fired nanny, and many other things in between. 

•    so when she appears in toonsville she’s kind of out of it that she’s not doing something w her skills and sets up her own business which she loves ? being her own boss suits her fine (for now) because she’s got a Real Job and she's actually trying rly hard so she can fulfill her dreams !! like suck it mom nd dad haha !!!

•    jade has a lot of weird feelings TM about her body and her looks and struggles a lot with her self confidence :~( she had a shit time at school with boys saying she was too thin and she compensated by acting like she didn't like anyone at all for a while and now she thinks she isn't good enough for anyone when rly she is a cinnamon bun too good for this world too pure 

•    best friend ever she is so good at being a friend if u text her at 3am to go out or cry on her shoulder shes ready to go at 3:15 even if she was sleeping w lots of snacks and treats and love!!! she is sooo extroverted around those she’s comfortable w, she gains so much energy from being around people and she loves being nice and being around ppl she likes 

•    she becomes the mom of groups pretty easily (hence why she’s the leader of the bratz) bc she bottles up most of her own problems to help ppl with theirs!! which is toxic yea but she puts people first always so !! plz help her poor repressed soul!! rip kool kat.. 

•    still super into the stuff of her time so like.. she loves the x files and bad reality tv shows (i want to be a hilton) and reads gossip magazines on the reg because she enjoys that stuff! also very into girl groups.. ginger spice / posh spice is an eternal mood.  

•    anyway yes sweet adult-child of 21 (she is in denial about that tho like she doesn't want to be childish) who is v nice v kind v loyal v baked a lot of time, v passionate v silly. idk what i'm doin hope u like it < 3

004. WANTED CONNECTIONS . 

friends / best friends / ride or dies . jade genuinely loves people, loves talking to strangers and getting into intense conversations with people she’s only just met, learning other people’s way of life and bettering herself for getting. she is, however, incredibly blunt and has never once minced words to keep from hurting someone’s feelings or to ease them into a situation. she’d much rather have a one-time conversation with a stranger than make long lasting relationships. she has three very close friends –  to the point of co - dependence –  and honestly, she’d rather spend all of her time doing things she loves such as her hobbies, sticking her nose into the latest vogue, or searching for cute collars and treats for her cat mica w them instead of making new friends. she's also FUN and she'd be happy to go on crazy road trips or buy out a movie theater for a day or anything that she thinks will her buds happy. she's traveled all over, so she’s v well read and cultured. she loves people but she hates complication and won't deal with any sort of emotional labor. she wants to live in the moment and expects everyone in her life to do so as well. just be chill, y'all. 

frenemies / enemies /  rivals  . please be her enemy, she needs people to antagonize shdhshd. she grew up pretty much affluent so she’s pretty spoiled even if she doesn’t want to admit it, and that rebellious side of her hasn’t died down yet. despite the fact that she is wealthy and in good community standing, she has a hard time letting go of childish grudges. in general she’s got a lot of suppressed feelings and ready to fight everyone who hurts her friends – like an irritated cat – so, honestly, come at her ? she is sometimes a little fickle and flighty and a unintentionally stuck up when it comes to art / fashion and she has definitely said the wrong thing at the wrong time and pissed the wrong people off, she can’t stand anyone underestimating her or thinking she’s dumb bc she’s interested in fashion. like gtfo !

ex’s , fwb’s , possible love interests .  jade is fairly fluid romantically and is the type of person who hates labels but also just wants to be cherished and called cute pet names lowkey. she loves a lot and gives a lot to her relationships, but typically doesn't want to commit to anything important. she’s gone from one disastrous relationship to another, ending up with a boyfriend who constantly ridiculed her image that was essentially the catalyst for her cutting off romantic ties, quite a recent wound before she found herself on the island actually. worst thing is tht she’s convinced herself that she’s been the problem in these relationships –  that she turns good people bad or that she is too much for people to deal with, she’s not sure what the issue is and she doesn’t really want to know. so…. fuck everything amirite ? anyway, she’s a strong independent woman who don’t need no (wo)man. 

etc . pls give me people jade can give a makeover to, people she shares an apartment w on the island, people who think fashion is girly and vapid.. creatives who love what she’s doing, anything tbh << 3

[grammarkid]

creator meme

rules: it’s time to love yourselves! choose your 5 favorite works you’ve created this past year (fics, art, edits, etc!) and link them below to reflect on the amazing things you’ve brought into the world in 2017. tag as many writers/artists/etc as you want (fan or original!) so we can spread the love and link each other to awesome works.

i was tagged to do this by @thequeenofnationalcity, but like, they already know that i hardly ever post anything? so i’m sry but this whole list is basically going to be my fav fics from this year that haven’t been/may not be posted lmao 

but hey here we go anyway

1. sweet, salty, spicy, sweet (kimberly/trini) of all three of my trimberly fics, i’m p sure the first one is still my fav?? idk why. i guess bc it was just so fun to write their characters for the first time. (also, there was less pressure bc nobody knew i was writing it lmao) but yeah the first part’s rly where my heart lies as far as the whole series goes 

2. wonder by wonder (kara/diana) rn this is basically 40k words of kara teaching diana about the world in modern day national city and eventually helping her debut as wonder woman, but it has a lot of emotional depth and deals with a lot of kara’s struggles as a refugee on earth and then, yeah, ofc they fall in love, but it’s cute?? i love it so much?? & i love them together so much?? i legit cannot wait to finish this fic.

3. these small hours (kara/lena) um.. human au, currently 60k words.. kara is ex-military, struggling to adapt to civilian life again. she meets lena through a temporary job and, long story short, lena offers her a new job running an animal sanctuary!! it’s rly an exploration of how kara heals through working with the animals (and krypto’s in it!) & there are lots of butch kara moments (and, later on, kinda some gender-nonconforming kara moments) and also allusions to canon and omg, i swear i’ve put so many ppl from arrow/the flash in here it’s insane, but i love this fic with all of me and even if i never post it, it’ll probably still be one of my absolute favorites.

4. isn’t this the reason why you came? (kara/caitlin) lmaoo ok so this one was p much just for fun, but basically it’s another human au where national city and central city are neighboring cities, and kara gets all of cat’s daily coffee orders from c.c. jitters instead of noonan’s. caitlin & iris are both baristas there and caitlin is p much like a human version of killer frost and she flirts with kara relentlessly but kara is.. well, kara and she doesn’t catch on. it’s basically an extended flirting marathon where kara is just a stuttering mess for ~15-20k words and it’s hilarious and it’s all mine and i love it to death.

5. i look so damn good on you (kara/iris) lmaoooo wait wait ok!!!! so, basically this started out as a counterpart piece to the kara/caitlin fic where kara ended up with iris instead, but a lot of it changed while i was working on it, so in this one kara is like super ripped and she’s also into music, and alex forces her into an open mic gig at jitters and iris is just like a hot mess over this random girl who is visiting from national city bc she’s got muscles for days and a really sweet smile and she can also sing???? lol idk what to tell u.. like, this was just for me and only me soo sry

yeah, that’s basically what i did with 2017 lmao wow

[katyaton]

These Things Are Fun Lets Give It a Go

Tagged by the lovely @mygeekcorner​ !!! 

RULES: answer all questions, add one question of your own and tag as many people as there are questions. (…. yeah not doing that one sry)

tagging: Whoever wants to do it!!! I’d love to get to know people better :) I’m also shy and would like to tag more but don’t want to overstep my bounds. @dreamsinteacups @rollertoasteroflife @booksncupcakes @ramigo and @totallynotanobody and @nakedpasta (you last two can just tell me in person if you want, haha)

1.      coke or pepsi: Coke!!! Drinking Pepsi where I live is basically blasphemy. 

2.      disney or dreamworks:  Both excel at different things. Hard to pick just one, really. Depends on my mood. 

3.      coffee or tea: I feel like by now most of you know, but Tea all day everyday. 

4.      books or movies: books

5.      windows or mac: windows…. I have so many issues with macs i swear the computers can sense my fear.

6.      dc or marvel: Gotta go with marvel. Their universe and interwoven story lines are A+.

7.      xbox or playstation: Playstation - it’s what I grew up with as a kid.

8.      dragon age or mass effect: neither. don’t play them.

9.      night owl or early riser: Night owl

10.  cards or chess: Cards - I feel like there are a lot more games you can play with them.

11.  chocolate or vanilla: Chocolate!

12.  vans or converse: Converse I suppose

13.  lavellan, trevelyan, cadash, or adaar: ????

14.  fluff or angst: I need a healthy dose of both. It also depends on my mood, but I have to say that i’m slightly partial to angst. 

15.  beach or forest: Beach if I had to choose.  

16.  dogs or cats: Cats!!

17.  clear skies or rain: Definitely rain

18.  cooking or eating out: Eating out can be fun, but i’m also cheap and really like to stay inside, so probably cooking more 

19. Spicy food or mild food: I like a bit of spice on things, but overall most of my food is on the milder side. 

20.  halloween/samhain or solstice/yule/christmas: Halloween is good but I love the atmosphere surrounding Christmas and just the general good cheer and attitude. 

21.  would you rather forever be a little too cold or a little too hot: Where I live is super hot so I’d have to say cold. Also, when you’re cold you can always put on more layers. There’s only so many things you can take off when you’re too hot.

22.  if you could have a superpower, what would it be: I’ve been adamant about this for several years. I would choose teleportation. Just think how much money you’d save? No more plane tickets, no more paying for cars/car insurance…. You’d also never be late to anything, ever and your commute time would be zero! And if a bad guy is near you you can just teleport away!

23.  animation or live action: Depends on the subject matter. If it’s more fantasy I’d say animation. If it’s more entrenched in drama I’d say live action.

24.  paragon or renegade: ????

25.  baths or showers: showers  

26.  team cap or team ironman:  I love them both dearly but I have to say I’m partial to Cap. He’s just so pure and good.

27.  fantasy or sci-fi: I really love both, but I think I ere on the side of fantasy

28. do you have three or four  favourite quotes? if so what are they:

“I want that” (via Napoleon Dynamite)

“Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You.”  (Dr. Seuss)

“Words are, in my not-so-humble opinion, our most inexhaustible source of magic. Capable of both inflicting injury, and remedying it.”

(J.K Rowling…. this was actually my senior quote in my year book)

29.  youtube or netflix: netflix

30.  harry potter or percy jackson: Harry potter, however I really also love Percy Jackson as well. They’re both good boys. 

31.  when you feel accomplished: when i finish reading a 150,000 + fanfic in 1-2 days. 

32.  star wars or star trek: star trek.

33.  paperback books or hardback books: Paper back only because it’s less expensive. I understand that hardbacks are superior though.

34. horror or rom-com: Probably horror, although it can’t be one of those super cheap horrors that rely on jump scare or whatever. It needs to be legit and interesting. 

35.  to live in a world without literature or music: What would be the point to life???

36.  pastel colours or dark colours: Pastels

37.  tv shows or movies: shows - you stay with the characters longer and there’s more time for character development and complicated plots.

38.  city or countryside: City. I like the country for like… a few days, but then after that I get really board. As much of an introvert as I am I still need things going on around me to be happy.

39.  if any other zodiac sign could describe you, what would it be: Don’t get me started on this pseudo-psychology….. (*whispers* prob a virgo)

40.  if you could only listen to one album for the rest of your life what would it be: Oh god this is hard. I don’t really listen to albums, mostly just individual songs that I like. If I had to pick one, though, at this point I’d choose Hamilton. 

41.  cinema or theatre: cinema simply because I rarely, if ever, go the to theatre. I know I enjoy it, but it just happens so rarely that I can’t really compare the two.

42.  if you could be any fictional character’s best friend, who’d you be: Yuuri Katsuki or Kuroko Tetsuya. I feel like with both we’d get along really, really well.

43.  smiling or smirking: Smiling. Smirking has a rather negative connotation, no?

44.  are you an ‘all or nothing’ type or are you more consistent: Consistent

45.  playlists or your whole library on shuffle: Playlists. If I shuffle things I always end up skiping until it gets to the song I actually want. 

46.  travelling or staying at home: Traveling, but it can’t be 24/7. I definitely need time to recharge at home once in a while.

47.  books or fanfiction: Both are great, but tbh like most of us I have only really read fanfic recently. I have a few published books that I’m currently trying to get through, though!

48.  If you could live in a fantasy world, what world would it be: Probably Harry Potter, but only if I was a witch. Having magic would solve so many of my problems!

49. your favorite cartoon: It’s kinda up for debate whether it’s an anime or cartoon, but I’m calling it a cartoon made in the anime style simply because it’s not Japanese made. Avatar the last airbender/Legend of Korra

50.  name the weirdest five songs on your itunes, current or past: Hmmmm ok here’s what I came up with

Chum Drum Bedrum Ok I love this song so much. The singer completely describes how I am as a person: hella awkward, long and lanky, and flowy. He represents me on so many levels. 

2-1 by Imogen Heap Not a lot of people know about this song but I find it so intriguing and interesting. Definitely not everyone’s cup of tea, though. 

Wide Eyed by Animal Collective This song is what it sounds like if you're on LSD, I imagine. 

Five Night’s at Freddy’s Song 1 This song is very strange - it’s based off of a horror computer game - but you have to admit it’s jammin.

Seaboard Rise 49 Literally heard this song at a music museum and it’s the most lit keyboard song you will ever hear I guarantee it!!!

51. mountains or plains: mountains

52. favorite anime (or tv show if you don’t watch anime): Yuri on ice (of course), Death Note, Death Parade, Kuroko no Basket, Ouran High School Host Club, and Erased. (sorry couldn’t pick just one!)

53. which social media platform are you most like yourself on: Tumblr in terms of personality I suppose, but since I try to not post everything about my life on here there are a lot of things missing that don’t really come through. I’d say facebook simply because almost everything about me is uploaded on there, by one person or another. I’ve had my facebook since I was in 7th grade, so it’s really documents my life almost. I’m not really into any other social media other than those two. So in conclusion, tumblr in terms of personality, facebook in terms of being able to open up more about my life.

54. What are some of your passions: I am in love with the brain. I think that it is akin to the deep ocean or the universe - there are so many things we do not understand about it. It also houses our personality, every thought, memory, emotion. Every little nuance that makes us human. Yet it really is just a collection of water, lipids, proteins, and neurotransmitters, yet somehow in all of that we have developed a complex sense of self. Are our personalities really separate entities, or are they just a complex construct that our advanced brains have superimposed to make sense of the chaotic word that we live in??? Basically I want to research some sort of neuroscience/biopsychology related field. 

I also love genetics for similar reasons… I find it fascinating that some sort of elemental coding for our functioning lives inside us. 

I’ve also found a new passion for writing as of late :)

[janovec]

1, 2, 3, 8, 10, 11, 35, 59, 65 for the music asks!

hello!!!!!!!!! sorry it took me a while to find the post again but here we go!!!!! thank you sm for asking!!!!!!!! also fyi a lot of these are probs gonna be emo shit bc my entire music library is pop punk ngl

1. A Song you’re ashamed of liking

tbh i think good girls by 5sos is a bop it’s the only thing i like by them

2. Favourite lyrics

shit um “i know the world’s a broken bone but melt your headaches call it home” has always been one that’s stuck with me “excuse us while we sing to the sky” “what a catch” “it was marvelous to know you, and it’s never really through. crazy business this, this life we live in. can’t complain about the time we’re given. with so little to be sure of in this world.” “we had a moment. a marvelous moment” “this was just a moment in the woods, shimmering and lovely and sad, leave the moment just be glad for the moment that we had, any moment is a moment when you’re in the woods” sondheim loves his moments lmao

3. Favourite band/artist 

Fall Out Boy sry bt it

8. Latest song that made you cry

tbh like what a catch donnie played while i was walking home and i got emotional

10. If you could see any band/artist live, who would it be

11. What song/album/band/artist always brings back memories for you

shit so many songs, anything that brings me back to 8th grade (ex: just so you know by jesse mccartney, marianas trench, call me maybe, glad you came) but also teen idle by marina and the diamonds, good morning sunshine, hey jude, closer (takes me back to welcome week lmao), end of an era, unsteady, anything from my favorite musicals/shows i worked on yeah idk tons of songs but those are just ones that always elicit really vivid memories from me when i hear them

35. A heart wrenching song

jeez um leave your lover by sam smith and drop in the ocean by ron pope idk those are so mainstream but they always get me or for me personally good to you by marianas trench and almost lover bc they both have a lot of history 

59. A song you love with a colour in the title

jet pack blues - fall out boy 

65. A song that you think everyone should listen to 

jeez i’m listing 4 sry this is why i can never make good mixed CDs bc i just want to include everything to share

Ghost - Mystery Skulls (i’ve never played it for someone and had them tell me they didn’t like it)

Never Let it Die - Watsky (more people need to listen to Watsky)

Back to the Earth - Jason Mraz (when i first listened to it i was so in love and i played it for my roommate so many times and just felt the ~good vibes~ wash over me. currently trying to learn this for my uke)

20 Dollar Nose Bleed - Fall Out Boy (one of my absolute favorite songs also i needed to include a fob rec lmao)

sorry this is so fuckign long lmao i’m trash!!!!!!!! thank you for asking and pls lmk if you actually listen to any of these songs or if you share any memories about any of the songs i listed that i have history w/ because i’d love to swap stories that’d be so cool to see how diff songs have diff meanings to diff people!!!