#And this is proof of that LOL I swear this is entirely unserious and I'm not having a mid-life crisis

[whysamwhy123]

Soooooo would it now be completely inappropriate and in poor taste if I went back and finished that ridiculous crackfic I memed myself into starting where Daniel tries to hit on CJ?

He's all like ''You know, I think it's disgusting, the way your husband treats you. You're a strong, independent woman and I respect that! You should be allowed to do whatever you want - likemeforinstance - and also, everyone always tells me I'm real mature for my age, wise beyond my years. I can make you feel like you're 22 again, and I totally don't have mommy issues if that's what you're worried about and - ''

And CJ's thoroughly unimpressed by all of this, but then Miro shows up and bitches her out for cavorting with a younger man behind his back and she's just like done with his shit, so she grabs Daniel by the collar and drags him away and makes him her rebound boytoy.

CJ regales Daniel with stories of all the things she's done, places she's lived, all her crazy life experiences, and Daniel's just like ''Woooooow, that's all so interesting - so, anyway, there's these new shoes I really want, will you buy them for me, mommy, pleeeease?!'' 🥺

And he has to watch his back every week at work because Miro's always skulking about menacingly and all of Daniel's friends are like ''Dude, what are you doing? This is obviously a bad idea,'' and Daniel simply tells them they don't understand, man.

Also, maybe Daniel and Hook catfight over her because I think that would be funny? Hook: *scratches Daniel with his nails* ''I deserve her more - I'm also hot and flexible!'' Daniel: *pulls Hook's hair* ''I need her! You don't need a sugar mama, you're already rich!''

Daniel to Miro - ''Hey, what's up, man? Just wanted to say thanks - your alimony payments are really helping me with the rent. Also, since I call your ex-wife 'mommy', does that make you my ex-dad?'' *gets strangled up against the nearest wall*