#And thinks about how she could have done better. like ���if i had woken up sooner maybe i could have saved everyone in prime 3’

[trashytracktales]

ong yes!! lando gotta loveeeee doggy and taking her against a wall!! But imagine her on top for the first time and not knowing how to ride him and him teaching him and telling her what to do! im asking this to santa !!

kill me now!!

Oh, Christmas treat | LN ⁴

💌 INSPIRED by anon ──── Why ask Santa when I'm literally right here... enjoy 💋

⤿ We're yapping about this ask.

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𐙚 summary ──── It's a quiet winter night, and Lando notices that his girlfriend seems a bit distracted. After some playful coaxing, she admits a secret desire to try something new. With his gentle guidance, they explore new paths together, each step bringing them closer.

𐙚 pairing ──── Lando Norris x she/her reader

𐙚 rating ──── explicit

𐙚 category ──── F/M

𐙚 warnings ──── 18+, mature/sexual content, established relationship, fluff & smut, descriptive language, light teasing, themes of vulnerability, unprotected sex, reader's first time on top, bit of swearing.

𐙚 word count ──── 2.5k

𐙚 date ──── Dec. 24, 2024

𐙚 a/n ──── I know this wasn’t a request per se, but I wanted to share this one-shot with you since it was already mostly ready to go. I’ve been dealing with some health issues recently and couldn't get myself to get anything done, so thank you for your patience. The rest of the requests are still on their (admittedly slow) way, but I promise they’re coming 🤞🏻 Wishing a very Merry Christmas Eve to everyone who celebrates, and who knows, I might have another little treat up my sleeve 👀

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THE DAY HAD been nothing out of the ordinary, but that was exactly what made it special.

Lando had woken up late, groggy but grinning satisfied when he caught her padding around the kitchen in fuzzy socks and an oversized sweater, humming along to Christmas songs. She loves the holiday season, because she likes it when he's home, and Lando doesn't have to be anywhere but their own apartment. That's exactly why she can't get upset when he streams with Max for hours in the night, and ends up sleeping in the next day. The simple fact that he's there is enough.

Maybe she conditioned herself to accept that, but then she sees his sleepy face and thinks she'd accept worse in order to share her mornings with him.

It's Christmas Eve, so they’d decided to bake cookies, mostly because she insisted it was a winter tradition, and Lando, ever the competitive spirit, took it as a challenge to see whose decorations would turn out better. As expected, chaos followed. By the time the cookies were ready, the kitchen looked like it had been through a snowstorm of flour and sugar. Lando had a streak of frosting on his cheek, and she had somehow ended up with sprinkles in her hair. In reality, they spent more time laughing and teasing each other than actually baking, but that was always the way it went with them.

Now, their cookies sit patiently on the counter, forgotten as the two of them relax on the couch in the living room. The Christmas tree lights glow warmly in the corner, and a cheesy holiday movie plays on the TV. They’re snuggled under a thick blanket, her legs curled up and tucked into his side. Lando’s arm drapes around her shoulders, his fingers playing lazily with her hair. It’s peaceful and comforting, but somewhere in the quiet, she feels a sudden pull in her chest.

In all the time they've been together, she never took the lead — not willingly, at least — feeling more than happy to surrender. She's been thinking about it for a long time, but she's never had the courage to do it. She doesn't feel intimidated or inhibited by her boyfriend, but rather by how it could all go wrong for both of them if she, somehow, ends up doing something she’s not supposed to.

Suddenly, her arms tighten around him, her nose nuzzling into his shirt. There’s a weight in her heart, not sadness exactly, but something tender, something raw. It makes her extra clingy, but she doesn’t say anything. She just holds him closer, hoping he won’t notice.

But Lando always notices.

His fingers pause in her hair, and his brows furrow slightly as he glances down at her. “You good, baby?” he asks, his voice soft and curious.

She hums nonchalantly, her face still buried in his chest.

“You sure?” Lando insists, his tone teasing but gentle.

The girl freezes for a moment, debating whether to brush it off, but before she can decide, he tilts her chin up with his fingers, making her look at him.

“Come on, what’s going on in that pretty head of yours, hm?” he asks, his eyes scanning hers.

Her cheeks heat under his gaze, and she sighs. “I don’t know. You just… feel extra nice to hold tonight,” she says quietly.

Lando blinks, then his grin widens, teasing again. “Didn’t know I had levels of cuddliness.”

“Oh, shut up,” she mumbles, hiding her face against his chest again.

His smile softens, and he wraps his arms around her fully, pulling her tighter against him. “Hey, you don’t wanna talk to me?”

She shakes her head and, at that, Lando stops pushing, knowing that whatever it is, she’ll come to him. Eventually. When she’s ready.

A few hours later, their movie marathon ends in a comfortable silence, the glow of the TV instantly muted by the credits rolling on the screen. Lando stretches, groaning softly as he shifts from the couch.

She gathers the blanket, folding it neatly before turning to him with a small smile.

“Bedtime?” she asks, her voice soft, almost reluctant to leave the warmth of the evening behind.

“Bedtime,” he agrees, though he watches her carefully as she heads toward the bedroom.

She moves through her usual routine, brushing her teeth and slipping into one of his hoodies, paired with sleep shorts. As she pulls back the covers and sits on the edge of the bed, he hears it again — the same quiet sigh that makes his chest tighten.

Lando leans against the doorframe, arms crossed, frowning in her direction. “Alright, that’s the second time tonight,” he says, his tone light but edged with curiosity. “Should I worry?”

“What?” she replies quickly, too quickly, as she gets ready to tuck herself under the duvet. “No, baby. It’s nothing.”

“Right,” says Lando, stepping closer, his lips curving into a mischievous grin. “If you won’t tell me, I’ll have to get it out of you another way.”

She narrows her eyes at him. “Lando…”

Before she can finish, he lunges, playfully grabbing her waist and threatening to tickle her sides. She squeals, trying to wiggle away, but his grip on her is firm.

“Last chance, I'm serious,” he warns, his laughter bubbling up as she giggles uncontrollably.

“Okay, fine, stop it!” she pleads, breathless, her face flushed.

Lando stops, pulling back just enough to sit on the edge of the bed. Then, with a gentle tug, he pulls her onto his lap. His arms wrap loosely around her waist, and he tilts his head, watching her with a mix of curiosity and concern.

“Now,” he says, happy that he managed to break her wall, “What’s going on?”

She hesitates, her cheeks turning pink as she avoids his gaze. Instead, her fingers find his curls at the back of his head, twisting them gently as she takes a deep breath. “You know, it’s not even a big deal. I’ve been thinking about something, but I just didn’t know how to bring it up.”

“Mhm,” he nods, leaning in to press a lingering kiss to her lips. It’s deep, slow, almost as if he’s trying to reassure her without words. When he pulls back, their foreheads touch, and he whispers, “You can tell me anything, you know that.”

She knows. Still, that doesn’t make it any easier. The heat rushes in her cheeks as she finally meets his eyes. “Look, I like when you’re on top. I mean, I really like it,” she says, stumbling slightly over her words. “But I was thinking, maybe, I’d like to, you know...”

Her voice trails off, and she looks away again, clearly embarrassed.

Lando blinks, letting her words sink in. His mouth opens slightly, but no sound comes out as a flush creeps up his neck. Then, a grin spreads across his face, equal parts flustered and excited.

“Yeah?” he asks, his voice soft, his hands tightening slightly on her waist. “You want to ride me, baby?”

She nods quickly, still twisting his curls nervously. “But I’ve never done it before, and I’m not sure I’d be good at it. It's just that—”

He exhales a chuckle, leaning forward to kiss her forehead. “Slow down,” he murmurs against her skin, his tone so tender that it makes her stomach flip. “You don’t have to worry about being good at it, baby. If you wat to try it, I can guide you, and we’ll see what works for us as we go.”

Her cheeks flush as she processes his reassurance, the tender way he’s looking at her making her feel bold and seen. And listened to.

She smiles, shifting on his lap, searching for some friction, and the slight brush of her core against his growing hardness has her letting out a soft gasp. Lando notices immediately, but he doesn’t say anything yet. Instead, he lets her take the lead at her own pace, on her own terms.

She shifts again, this time deliberately pressing herself against him, and the soft sound she makes has Lando’s self-control slipping. “I suppose we can try now?” he murmurs, his voice thick with heat.

She doesn’t reply — at least not with words. Instead, she grabs his hoodie, pulling it over her head in one swift motion, leaving her in nothing but her shorts. Lando’s breath catches as he takes her in, his hands immediately coming up to palm her breasts, his thumbs brushing over her hardened nipples. He's seen her naked so many times before, but somehow, every time she gets rid of her clothes she uncovers something new.

“So beautiful,” he mutters, leaning in to press open-mouthed kisses along her collarbone. She tilts her head back, giving him more access, and the heat between them builds until she pushes him gently onto the mattress.

Lando goes willingly, a grin tugging at his lips as she leans over him to kiss him again. His hands move to her hips, holding her firmly as she presses herself against him, grinding slowly. He groans into her mouth, his hands sliding lower to grip her ass, then he spreads her slightly, pushing her down against his growing length, making both of them gasp at the feeling.

Her hands trail down his chest, and she tugs at his shirt. “Off,” she breathes, and he obeys, pulling it over his head and tossing it aside. For a moment, she just looks at him, her hands tracing the defined lines of his chest.

The tension between them builds rapidly, their breaths mingling as they press closer. It doesn’t take long before she’s tugging at the waistband of her shorts, her nerves creeping back in as she pushes them down. Lando sits up slightly, watching her with darkened eyes, and when she glances at him nervously, he reaches out to stroke her thigh gently.

“You’re perfect,” he says softly, his voice full of sincerity.

Her nerves ease at his words, and when he pushes his joggers down, freeing himself, her anticipation drowns out her doubts.

He sits up fully, pulling her closer until she’s straddling him again. “Alright, love,” he murmurs, his hands steadying her hips. “Go slow, yeah? Just sit on me first. Take your time.”

She nods, biting her lip as she lines herself up with him. Slowly, she sinks down, feeling the stretch as he fills her inch by sweet inch. Her breath hitches, and Lando groans, his hands gripping her hips tighter.

“Oh, fuck,” he rasps. “You always feel so good.”

She pauses once he’s fully inside, her hands braced on his chest as she adjusts to the feeling of being so full of him. Sensing her nervousness, Lando rubs soothing circles on her hips, letting her take her time.

When she finally starts to move, lifting herself up slightly before sinking back down, a soft, shaky moan escapes her lips. Lando watches her with a mix of awe and hunger, his hands guiding her gently.

“Just like that, baby,” he encourages her, “Easy. You’re doing so well.”

Slowly but surely, she manages to build a rhythm, her movements tentative at first. But as the pleasure starts invading her senses, she becomes bolder. She opens up more, craving all of him at once. Her hands slide back to grip his thighs for support as she leans back slightly, the new angle sending sparks of pleasure through her body.

The taste of power it's rather interesting in this position, and she can’t afford to be shy anymore. Not when his cock feels so good inside her, and not when she decides how to take him.

“Fuck, Lando,” she breathes, her head tilting back.

She begins to move more rapidly on top of him, her hips following a predetermined path that she wasn't even aware of before. Lando watches her in amazement, feeling every pulse of pleasure every time she comes back for more, her walls hugging his cock so tightly that it leaves him breathless.

He groans, his hands sliding up to her waist to steady her. “That’s it, baby. Keep going. God, you’re going to make me cum so fast like this.”

The sight of her riding him, her body moving with such confidence now, nearly breaks him. Somehow, he resists the urge to thrust up into her, letting her stay in control, but his grip tightens as his restraint begins to fray.

He hears a silent cry, getting ready for every scenario in his mind, while his eyes study her frame by frame.

She whimpers, her movements becoming more erratic as the pleasure overwhelms her. “Lan,” she gasps, her voice shaky. “I can’t go—too much.”

He sits up slightly, pulling her towards him and pressing his forehead to hers. “Of course you can, baby,” he says softly, his voice steady despite the fire coursing through him. “I’m here. Just a little more, yeah? You’re doing so good.”

She feels his cock twitching inside her as she shakes her head weakly, “Lando, please…” her hands desperately clutch his shoulders, and that's when he understands what she needs from him.

Lando's hands land on her waist again, gripping at her firmly, and he starts to guide her harder on his cock while thrusting up into her simultaneously, meeting her halfway. The sudden change in rhythm makes her cry out, her nails digging into his skin.

“Yes,” she moans, her head dropping onto his shoulder as he drives her higher. “It’s so good, fuck. I’m—”

“That’s it,” he growls, his voice tinged with exhaustion. “Let go, baby. I’ve got you.”

So she does, her body trembling as the pleasure crests and crashes over her. He follows seconds later, his movements growing erratic before he stills inside her, holding her tightly against him as they both ride out their highs, breathing each other’s air. They stay tangled together, bodies still pressed close as the intensity of their orgasms fades away.

Lando brushes a strand of her hair away from her damp forehead, his lips curling into a soft smile. “You okay there?” he asks, his voice a gentle rasp.

She nods against him, her body still warm and buzzing. “Mhm, ‘m okay,” she murmurs, tilting her head up to meet his gaze.

He grins, leaning down to kiss her forehead. “You did so well, baby. Made me proud.”

She lets out a breathless laugh, her head dropping back onto his shoulder. “Cheers,” she trails off, playfully groaning. “But that was so much work. My fucking thighs are on fire.”

Lando laughs, the sound deep and rich. “Oh, you poor thing,” he teases, stroking her back soothingly.

She swats at his chest, unable to hold back her grin. “I’m serious! It’s a full-body workout being on top.”

He hums thoughtfully, his fingers lazily tracing patterns on her skin. “So what you’re saying is…” he starts, tilting his head with a mischievous glint in his eyes, “I get to be in charge again next time?”

She pulls back to look at him, her cheeks flushing, but there’s a playful sparkle in her eyes. “You won't hear me complaining,” she quips, biting her lip to suppress her laughter.

Thank you for reading!

None of my works are available for reposting on other platforms. Reblogs, likes, and comments are deeply appreciated ♥︎

© trashy track tales, 2024

[eroscomet]

Picking Up Pieces That Aren't Yours

Chapter three- Closer

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Pairing: Tara Carpenter x Fem!Reader

Warning: Explicit, Warning 18+ content, swearing, fingering (Tara receiving), kissing.

Word Count: 2.3k+

A/N: Hey, lovelies, needed to update this real bad. BEAR WITH ME YALL, this is my first like smut that I have basically officially put out there. I hope you guys enjoy it and honestly, I was very nervous to post this update but I have left you guys starved of this story for too long. Making this chapter was a rollercoaster of emotions for me, I did not know that writing smut could be so bashful or even sheepish, but it really was. Good news as well, Make it Right will have an update soon! Very nervous to put this chapter out there but it was going to happen sooner or later. By the way, for future reference, this will be a g!p reader. Just letting you guys know that. Thank you so much for all the support and this one's for you guys!

Proof read.

Minors DNI

╰┈➤ Series Masterlist

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Your head felt like it had been reeling since the moment that you and Tara were back in contact. You felt wrong for allowing her to get the better of you when she had been somewhat intoxicated. The guilt was practically eating at you because not only had you hooked up with her, you couldn’t stop thinking about it. Throughout each of your classes, every time you tried to force yourself to focus on the teacher's words or even the work in front of you, all you could think about was that night.

Your mind was plagued by all that the shorter girl had become under your touch. It felt selfish to have done such a thing and still think of her this way afterwards. No matter how long you tried to shove every image of the girl that night, heat pooled in your lower stomach. It was undeniable. Yet, every time that you had been around the girl from then on, you felt the care for her far stronger than any lust. It was easy to create a fantasy of her but when it came down to it, face to face, all you could do was want to protect her and care for her any way that you could.

“You stare a lot.” Tara said with a hum, she hadn’t even been looking up. She was instead focused on the textbook in front of her, still she felt your eyes on her.

“Ah, sorry..” You replied bashfully as you let out a small breath. Part of you wondered if she had even remembered that night. Maybe she had been angry that when she woke up, you hadn’t been there.

The thing was that when you had woken up the next morning after that night, the more you stared at her peacefully sleeping face, the more guilty you felt for having let yourself lose control. You’d spent an hour that morning, wondering what you should do before having finally settled on leaving some water bottles on her nightstand as well as some pain-killers to take when she’d wake up to a headache she would be bound to have. You didn’t know whether she’d remember, so you left a simple note saying that you had taken care of her the previous night.

“I wasn’t saying that I was bothered by it,” Tara said as her eyes flicked up to where you were sitting in front of her.

“Oh..” Was all you could think to muster up in reply. Should you ask if she remembered? Should you wait until she brings it up? You didn’t want to be a dick and make her think that she was a simple hookup and that was all.

An awkward silence fell upon the both of you as the two of you continued to study. That was until the silence was broken by Tara.

“So…” She began as she scribbled some notes into her notebook, her eyes pried away from yours at all cost, “Do you remember-”

“Yes.” You replied, not even knowing if she was asking what you were thinking she was asking. Her eyebrow had momentarily shot up at the quick reply.

“You didn’t even let me finish.” She said with a light laugh, “Unless, something’s on your mind?”

“Uh,” Your throat suddenly felt dry as you tried to think of the right words to use, “What happened a couple of nights ago..?”

“Hm.”

Her reply seemed too dry. Maybe she didn’t want to talk about it? Maybe she was in fact angry at you for having left?

“What?”

“I just..thought you didn’t remember, that’s all.”

“Of course, I do.” Your reply felt pathetic to your own ears. It left you feeling as if you were desperate. Despite your inner thoughts, a small smile played on her lips.

A silence fell upon the both of you before you had spoken up again, “I’m sorry for leaving that morning. I didn’t know if you’d want to.. I don’t know. I guess I didn’t know if you’d want to remember what had happened.”

“I’ve always thought of you too sweet, that’s why I felt a bit suspicious of it.”

“I’m not the type to do that, I promise. I just thought it was more on your end… I was confused, you know? Confused if you think it's a one-time mistake.”

“Doesn’t have to be. I mean, I don’t think it was a mistake. I’m sort of…glad it was you.”

You felt your heart almost beat out of your chest at the revelation that you hadn’t thought about. It felt like what you had heard was a part of another restless dream where Tara felt the same way about you. For a moment, you were stuck in your thoughts as you contemplated whether or not this was a dream or a joke. That was until you felt your pencil being taken from your hand as you turned your head to look over at the girl, you were sure that now you had somehow died and been sent to heaven.

The look in her eyes, she was close enough for you to count every freckle that adorned her cheeks perfectly. The way her lips had slightly twitched as if she were about to speak but instead decided not to. The two of you spent a moment staring at each other, your face drawing impossibly closer to hers. The feeling of her breath mingling against your own, her eyes darted down at your lips allowed your mind to begin wandering places. Taking action to one of those many thoughts as you shut your eyes and leaned forward into a kiss.

After feeling Tara returning your kiss, you hummed into the kiss, leaning into the touch of her hand on your cheek. You felt weak, weaker than you ever had. It felt almost helpless the way that your mind couldn’t draw any other thought but the dark haired girl kissing you. Kissing you as if she wanted you just as badly as you wanted her. Your hands felt limp, futile to every attempt of moving them to not seem awkward. It felt as if Tara had been reading your mind because her hands had grabbed yours and guided them under her shirt.

“Wait-” You managed to mutter breathlessly as you pulled away from the kiss, “Are you sure about this?”

“Still as caring as ever. Gosh, yes, L/N, I’m sure.” Tara replied with a breathless laugh, slightly shaking her head. “Must you always be so good?”

A soft smile on your lips as you felt her own on yours once again before you could’ve replied to her words. You returned the now hungrier kiss.

“There’s nothing wrong with being good.” You had mumbled against her lips as you continued to kiss her.

She hadn’t replied this time, her hands simply guiding yours further up her shirt and to the curve of her clothed breast. Your fingers had toyed with the hem of her bra, a small whine came from her in response. Her hands moving away from yours and up your own shirt, feeling out the planes of your skin. Her fingers felt persistent, whereas your own took their time and were more gentle. Unaware of the girl’s growing impatience, your hand moved to the back of her bra, carefully unclasping it. 

It had now hung loosely to her skin under her shirt, you took this as your chance to gently allow your thumbs to focus on the buds of her nipples. Immediately receiving a reaction from the girl, a soft whimper against your lips that felt all too sweet. Your mind had temporarily fled to the thought that someone else had too been in this position. You felt your gut slightly twist before pushing away the thought and allowing yourself to at least enjoy this while you can. While she had graced you with the opportunity to do so.

Your nimble fingers were quick against her buds, her breathing becoming ragged. Her mouth felt hot and wet, a reflection of your own as the kiss came to an end. Her eyes were fluttered shut as she allowed soft sighs to escape her, enjoying your touch. You’d seen and felt her back arch slightly with twitches into your touch. Her own hands had paused under your shirt, seemingly had lost its focus and purpose she’d once had with the touch. Quickly, one of your hands had left from under her shirt, moving to your lips where your tongue darted out to wet them before returning it to her nipple.

Tara’s head slightly tipped back at the newfound sensation you’d given her, your other hand moving down her abdomen to the hem of her sweatpants. You knew better than to tease the girl but you couldn’t help yourself, your fingers gently pressing against her clit over the fabric. The soft gasp that left Tara’s lips and the expression on her face made you want to examine every expression and sound she’d offer you with every touch you gave her.

“Don’t tease. Please.” She had breathed out ever-so-softly. Who were you to go against what she wanted? You wanted nothing but to please the girl of your dreams.

You were quick as you had carelessly pushed aside her notebook and text book that was on her desk. Swiftly lifting the shorter girl onto the desk, she lifted her hips slightly, giving you access to pull her sweats down. Your eyes were trained on her as you disregarded her sweatpants onto her bed. One of your hands pushed apart her legs as the other pulled aside her panties, not caring to remove them. You could hear every sweet sigh and soft whimper that escaped her mouth at your every touch, and it drove you completely insane.

A finger swiped through her folds, feeling the wet mess that she had become. You felt a surge of pride and a want– no, a need to give Tara everything she wanted. You allowed two fingers to delve past her folds and into pussy, a soft groan leaving your own lips at the tightness. A guttural moan leaving her, you watched as her head tipped back against the wall. Your fingers were quick, pumping to her every moan and obvious need with the way her hips had begun to buck against your hand. Your thumb pressing circles into her clit as your fingers continue to pump, your other hand raising her shirt to focus on her breasts as well.

With another lick of your fingers, you toyed and played with the bud of her nipple. You wanted to give her all the pleasure you knew she was deserving of. Your lips finding hers as you pulled her into a kiss, muffling her kisses that she now let out into your mouth. With the quickened pace of your fingers from each hand, you took note that it was getting harder for the girl to keep up with the kiss. You pulled away and immediately began working on peppering kisses against her neck, trying and finding her sweet spot. Your teeth grazed her neck as your mouth began to suck on the sensitive part of her neck. 

You felt her back arching into you and her body buzzing and writhing with pleasure from your touch. Taking note of how Tara was getting closer by the way her moans and breath fell relentlessly from her lips.

“Close-” She managed to say, pairing with a broken moan which only pushed you to quicken your pace.

“Shit, shit, shit- I’m cumming!” Tara’s voice cried out as she shut her eyes tightly, her body uncontrollably shaking under your touch.

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 A few minutes later and the two of you were sitting together at her dining room table eating pizza which you had ordered Tara.

“A true gentlewoman.” She said with a hum before

taking a bite of her pizza.

“Aftercare is important.” You replied with a small shrug as you took a bite of your own pizza.

“So, you're saying that you’ll stay longer?”

“Do you want me to?”

“Is that even a question?”

“Maybe you're right. I'll stay then.”

After the two of you had finished eating, you made your way back over to her room. Now, your arms wrapped around the shorter girl who buried her face into your chest. All felt calm, a stark contrast of what had happened about an hour or two earlier. You felt yourself wanting to stay in this moment, in the safety of the bubble you two created in her room. Tara was slowly falling asleep, you took it upon yourself to further soothe the girl by rubbing her back gently and pressing gentle kisses to her forehead. 

“Thank you for this.” She mumbled softly against your chest, slightly muffled.

“You don’t have to thank me, Tar.”

“Tar. I always liked when you called me that.”

“I'll forever call you that if you want me to.”

“I’d like that.”

You itched to ask the girl what all of this meant. What your relationship was like now. Is it friends? More than that, friends with benefits? Maybe…it could be something more than that as well, lovers? You pushed down the thoughts and the itch to ask, wanting to not ruin this perfect bubble the two of you have created.

“Tell me something. Anything.” Tara murmured softly

“You're soft.” It was the first thing that came to mind and the first thing that fled your mouth. A small light laugh had escaped Tara’s lips.

“What’s funny?” You asked curiously.

“It’s just that… I'm not sure I've ever been called or described that way.”

“Glad to be the first, and it’s true.”

“You're sweet.” Her words made a soft smile creep onto your face.

“Look who’s talking.”

“Oh, you're just a flatterer.”

“Can we not flatter each other?”

“I suppose so.”

“Sleep, you're tired.” Your eyes scanned the girl’s face, she was obviously a bit drained. A hand came up to gently caress her face as the other one continued to rub her back. Which had lulled her further into a sleepy state, she only nodded at your words. For the entire time that you stayed at her apartment, you held her and whispered sweet nothings that you knew she couldn’t hear in her sleep, but whispered them anyway.

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A/N: I'M NERVOUS BUT I HOPE YOU GUYS ENJOYED. Again, thank you for all the support and also look around for Make it Right chapter three coming out as well. Bear with me and this, this is my first smut published. However, I had to get it out of the way for upcoming chapters. Thank you all so much for everything, bye lovelies!

[hoshizoralone]

reflection

[suguann]

✎. you've been on the run for a while. you knew someone would come eventually—but not him.

tags. fem!reader, old west era, bounty hunter simon, size difference, size kink, implied the reader's husband is a terrible human, accidental voyeurism, period-typical sexism, masturbation [18+ only]

masterlist

You’ve been running for months, first from your husband (the phantom grip of his hand still sending an ache through your wrist) and now as a wanted conwoman for stealing the clothes from an unsuspecting cowpoke who thought he was getting lucky. You can only imagine what Mama would say about trading your ruffled skirts for grass-stained trousers and boiled-leather suspenders.

(It’s unbecoming of a respectable woman, dear. Uncouth.)

She’d probably have a lot to say if she knew everything you’ve done to survive.

You hop from one place to the next only by the mere chance someone was willing to let a helpless woman accompany them on their travels. Nearly a month has passed since being stranded in a dusty old mining town after a man and his wife dump you off and leave you behind. Washoe’s a little gritty and not welcoming unless there’s money to spend.

It’s not exactly safe, not unsafe, either, but nobody asks questions as long as you keep your head down and play the part of a mourning widow just passing through.

You know you’ve overextended your stay when you can’t leave your room during the day without worrying about a noose and the open end of a barrel meeting you outside. 

(That your husband or that gun-waving cowpoke finally found you.)

Sleep practically clings to you like a second skin, but you don’t dare close your eyes—you can’t.

This is how you end up sitting in the corner of the saloon, using the last of whatever you have in your change purse to order something strong, something your husband kept locked away, and anything else he thought women shouldn’t have a part in. 

You don’t even realize that your eyelids begin to feel heavy, steadily blurring out the flickering lantern on the wall while you wait for your drink. 

You catch yourself once or twice before your head can hit the table, rapidly blinking away the exhaustion before your eyes slide to the swinging doors.

You should stay awake. 

You need to stay awake just a little bit longer—

Your luck runs out that day. 

It’s one thing to know it’d happen eventually, and something else to realize that you make it easy for him—the man with an infamous name and a faded black bandana covering half his face—how he walked into the saloon and scooped you up (all unladylike sleepy dead weight) out of the weathered booth without a fight.

When you’d woken up to find yourself trussed up and thrown over the back of his horse, you cursed him out with every word you could think of that would make Mama clutch her skirts. Your captor ignored you, only talking to you whenever he warned you he was about to set up camp. 

“Did my husband send you?” Acknowledging him after all this time tasted like pennies on your tongue.

The man, Simon Riley, had leaned back against his bedroll and tipped the brim of his hat over his eyes. “Go the fuck to sleep.”

That was several weeks ago. 

Now, you find yourself stranded in another state that’s more green and vibrant than anything you’re familiar with, stuck with a man who refuses to answer the questions you throw at him. He doesn’t talk outside a few cursory words you greedily latch onto. Anything’s better than silence and the sound of hooves hitting earth. 

The pace he keeps you at is exhausting. You complain about it enough until he moves you in front of him, tying your hands to the saddle's horn.

“I would strongly advise you to shut that mouth for the rest of the ride unless you want me to do something about that, too.” The low growl of his voice in your ear makes the fine hairs on the back of your neck stand up, muddling your brain.

You’re distantly aware you had something to say to that, but you don’t. 

And that is really saying something.

It’s because there’s someone he needs to meet in town—an errand that lawbreakers who run their mouths aren’t allowed to go on.

This is how you end up sitting in camp alone, twirling around a knife he gave you solely for emergencies. 

(Surprise, sharp and quick through your middle, when he tosses his pocket knife into the grass beside you. “What’s to stop me from leaving?”

You could’ve sworn he rolled his eyes. “Will you?”

It doesn’t seem worth dignifying with a reply. You don’t want to travel alone, and there’s a high possibility of getting lost, finding yourself saddled up with worse company than the one you’re stuck with.

Until he evidently catches you again.)

He’s a lot nicer than you first gave him credit for—if only by a fraction—not that you know much about Simon other than what you overheard from gossip circles before you became Mrs. Thornton. Afternoons spent sipping tea laden with honey and lounging around a table full of cakes in the sun parlor while wealthy women talked behind their lace-covered hands to hide secret smiles you were too naive to understand. 

Trying not to stare at the bulge of his arms with thin pink scars—unlike the men you’re used to who got through life with a silver spoon hanging from their mouth—as he places his saddle back on his horse, you think you finally know what they smiled about.

You learn those scars also litter his torso from the time you accidentally walked upon him mid-way through putting his trousers on after washing in the river. It’d been too dark for you to see much else, and you quickly returned to camp before he could say something that would embarrass you both. 

Then, of course, tucked away into your bedroll, you can’t help wondering what the rest of him would have looked like if you had stayed a second longer. 

If his jaw is sharp or soft behind that mask he insists on wearing—that’s if he’d let you see at all. 

Simon’s always so serious that it’s often hard to determine whether he’s merely tolerating your existence until he can get rid of you or if he’s unused to traveling accompanied for so long. It’s not as if he goes out of his way to make pleasant conversation with you for you to assume otherwise.

You look off in the direction where he disappeared into the dense line of trees hours ago, wondering if you should go out looking for him (mainly because you’re hot and sticky from the humidity) despite his order to stay put. 

But after four hours turns into five, you head off, searching for something to help cool you off.

Luckily, unlike the heavily eroded lands you’re used to, there isn’t any water shortage in a place that sees rain three times a day, so it doesn’t take long to find a lake. You set your knife down on the stone-covered beach, followed by your boots, until you’re left in nothing but your undergarments. 

The water is icy cold and laps gently at your feet when you step in. You can’t find it in you to complain as the heat from the day slowly washes away the further you walk in and find a wide ledge to sit on. 

Your thoughts drift back to Simon, incessant and intruding even though you shouldn’t be thinking about him while wet and naked. And suddenly, you can picture it: his hands replacing yours as they trace along your neck. You have a feeling they’re probably rough and scarred from years of living hard and gunslinging, extracting the readily available knowledge that they’re big enough to encase your waist.

He could maneuver you around however he wants (you know this), and you feel dizzy just thinking about it.

Sighing, you sink deeper into the water while your hands smooth over the tips of your breasts and down your stomach. 

You wish you could see him without violating whatever personal preservations hide him from the rest of the world. Instead, you’re left with your imagination—the benefits of being a married woman and the little experience you have in the bedroom finally coming into play. 

Closing your eyes, you picture what he might look like under those sun-weathered leathers, knowing that the broadness of his shoulders isn’t only due to his vest and holsters but also from how his job has shaped him.

Your hands travel lower, fingers brushing through the creamy, soft wetness between your legs, evidence of what Simon does to you even when he’s not around. A moan, too high and breathy, slips past your lips as you use your middle finger to circle your clit in slow, clumsy swirls from lack of practice and patience that spreads warmth through your middle despite the cold water. 

It’s good, your fingers discovering places your husband always ignored—too many nights spent with your hand under your nightgown long after he’d tucked his cock away and gone to sleep—but probably don’t compare to the ones you’ve caught yourself staring at far too many times. 

They don’t fill you nearly enough, unlike how you know Simon’s would—thick and unrelenting. Rough and long, reaching deep enough to make you breathless.

Your breath hitches from pinching the tight, sensitive peak of your nipple until you feel a slight sting, and then it slips out, a tiny thing that’s only audible to your ears—Simon—a secret you now share with the lightning bugs and crickets.

“Dirty, no good rotten—” he’d tell you for thinking such lewd thoughts about him, for sinning so easily. Maybe you are, for getting so worked up over a man who isn’t your husband (no matter how terrible a husband he may be).

A man who’s so big that he makes you feel small, the type that gives before he takes. It’s enough to make you work your hand faster—your body vibrating from the chill of the water and the ache between your trembling thighs.  

Fantasies aren’t enough to sate the deep longing in your chest. Yet you’re slipping over the edge of ecstasy before taking your next breath—all of it builds up and gradually crests inside you like the lake rippling against the shore.

Afterward, it leaves you feeling soft and blurred around the edges, a watercolor painting drying under the sun while you wait for your rapid heartbeat to slow.

You don’t realize your eyes have fallen shut until they flutter open, and you’re startled to find Simon standing at the shoreline, his chest heaving as if he ran here. 

(Though he probably did to see if you took the opportunity to leave.)

You’re glued to your spot on the rock, suddenly struck with the mortifying realization that he’d seen you come—that he possibly heard you cry out his name so intimately.

You watch him remove his hat and hang it on a branch with wide eyes. Followed by his undershirt, guns, and—

He keeps removing clothes until he’s completely naked on the shore—aside from his face that stays hidden—scars marred his chest, spreading to his collarbones and below the water as he steps into the lake and sits on another ledge across from you.

His mask makes him look more menacing, erasing any trace of softness there. And you wonder if he’s angry at you for wandering off.

"Come here." His voice is low and deep, rumbling in his chest.

You don't think he'd hurt you. If he wanted to, he would have done it by now.

At least, that’s what you’re going with to settle the nervous fluttering in your middle.

Water laps at your arms as you wade through the water, each shaky step bringing you closer until you stop before him.

"In my lap."

Your breath sticks in your throat as you do as he says, settling down onto his sturdy thighs, palms falling flat against his broad chest. That same breath comes out in one large exhale as his fingers slide along your jaw, to the nape of your neck, curling into your hair, wet and falling around your shoulders.

“Like this?” you ask, trying to ignore how breathy you sound.

He grunts, apparently in confirmation.

You don’t think you’ve ever felt so conflicted in your life—fear and arousal turning into a messy cocktail in your veins.

“Why do I always have to use a heavy hand to make you listen?”

Your lips part. Breath growing short. “I’m sorry.”

And then—

Simon pulls your head back sharply, exposing your throat.

Your body goes slack against his. Mind blissfully blank.

“No,” he says, tone flat. “But you will be.”

[withmyloveasyourgarden]

CINNAMON SWEET

STEVE HARRINGTON X F!READER

A cute little diner, friends that secretly conspire to give you and Steve the push you both need, and a planned breakfast that suddenly feels a lot more like a date - not that either of you are complaining. [Re-uploaded from my old blog]

Realistically, Steve should have known there was something going on when everyone, except you and him, suddenly couldn't make it to the breakfast that they'd all planned. 

But he hadn't really thought much of it when Max said she was teaching El how to skate or when Eddie and the rest of the kids said there was important Hellfire stuff that needed doing. 

Robin had picked up an extra shift at work and when Steve had shot her a briefly suspicious look, she had simply smirked and said something about how she needed to stop being broke and finally get a licence. Because it's not like he could drive her around forever and ‘I can't be third wheeling when you finally get a girl willing to put up with you Harrington.’

And maybe he would have put it together if he hadn't been so god damn nervous.

If there weren't butterflies in his stomach right up until he pulled up in front of your house and if his brain didn't stutter every time he thought of how it was just going to be you and him. 

He didn't fare any better when you stepped outside, the same startling grin on your face when your eyes found his that had stolen his heart the very first time he'd seen it.

There was a softness to how you were dressed that made him ache, all chunky-knit sweaters and pretty-coloured beanies, the scarf that Steve had given to you last year when you took the kids ice-skating and later you'd teasingly informed him he would never get back. 

He couldn't help but hope that he never would if it meant he kept getting to see you walk around in something of his. The feeling he got in his chest when you would catch his eyes on it - smile half hidden beneath the dark wool, hopelessly shy, and your own gaze tinged warm. 

It was one that lingered as you climbed into the car, a gust of cold wind entering with you that stirred at Steve's hair and blew the scent of spiced apple and vanilla from your body wash all around him, hands tightening around the steering wheel and teeth clamped because he was sure he would blurt out something stupid when he realised how the smell instantly brought him comfort. 

"Hey." You murmured from beside him, voice soft, still a little thick from sleep like you hadn't fully woken up yet and Steve was pretty sure he felt something in his chest melt at the sound. "Is it just us?" 

"Hey, sweetheart." He hummed without thinking, the pet name slipping too easily past his lips like it had always held a place on his tongue when he spoke about you, and he was too preoccupied with watching the road to be aware of the way you flushed in response. "Looks like it, apparently everyone else has plans that couldn't wait. S'that okay?" 

And it's not that he necessarily thought you would have a problem with it but he wanted to make sure anyway. Because you and Steve had never really done anything like this before, there was always other people around - the kids or Robin and Eddie, or any time you had spent alone together was either spent entertaining each other at work or in an alternative dimension, fighting for your lives. 

This, right here and now, felt different and the last thing he wanted was for you to feel like you had to be there if you didn't want to be. 

But then, to the boy's delight, you turned your head to grin at him, soft and warm, eyes bright. Looking every bit like you had always belonged in the passenger seat of his car, right beside him, just like this. "That's fine Steve." You told him. "It's their loss." 

**

The drive to the diner that Steve had chosen, a little bit out of the way instead of sticking to the one in town, was simultaneously never-ending and not long enough. 

An easy conversation flowed between you both. The nerves that had fluttered in your belly at the realisation it would just be the two of you slowly fading as you listened to Steve sing along to the music under his breath, only for them to then reappear with a vengeance when his hand occasionally brushed against your knee as he shifted gears. 

Each time he would withdraw his hand, cheeks tinged a soft pink, his apology a little choked sounding as he coughed to clear his throat. 

You had to pretend that the fleeting touch didn't burn you each time, that you didn't wish you could catch his fingers with yours and pull his hand back to rest on your knee instead of telling him ‘don't worry about it.’

And by the time you were unbuckling your seatbelt, nearly tumbling out of the door in your need for fresh air, there was a heady kind of tension between you. A sweet ache that made you feel permanently too warm, too giddy each time soft, brown eyes landed on yours and he smiled that same devastating smile that had labeled you a goner from the moment you had met him.

He waited for you to join him around the front of the car before he motioned towards the place with a little ta-da, his expression adorably pleased when you gave a delighted laugh before your gaze flickered to the quaint, little building, intrigued.

It didn't look like much at first glance but there was charm in its simplicity, all the decorations that they'd lovingly put in place for the season and the upcoming holiday making it feel homely and your heart undeniably happy. 

"How did you hear about this place?" You asked curiously whilst walking to the door. 

There was barely any space between you and every now and again you accidentally bumped arms or your fingers brushed, almost catching, so close to holding, but never quite. And unlike in the car, this time there was no quickly pulling away, no muttering of an apology, instead you both allowed it to happen like you were waiting to see if the other would pull away or if they'd be the one brave enough to move closer. 

But neither of you did and Steve quickly pulled you away from thoughts of if you should when he answered,

"Joyce told me. Said she used to bring Jonathan and Will here all the time because Will was convinced they did the best cinnamon waffles and hot chocolate." He grinned softly, eyes golden in the light of the sun and his expression briefly hesitant when he drew his lip between his teeth before adding. "It uh, it made me think of you."

"I remind you of waffles and hot chocolate? Is it because I'm just so sweet?" You joked. 

He shook his head with a huffed laugh, a rogue strand of hair falling into his eyes that you ached to brush away. "I wouldn't say that, well maybe, I guess?" He contradicted himself, cheeks a little flushed as he caught your amused stare, the pretty twinkle in your eyes that grew the more the boy spoke. "You mentioned that cinnamon waffles and hot chocolate was your favourite thing to have for breakfast that time we were at Robin's and– wait - shit - did I remember wrong?" 

You were stunned - a little too much so that you couldn't answer him for a moment, simply blinking at him as Steve's face grew worried. 

He brought you back with a hushed murmur of your name and you were suddenly fighting to breathe against the golden warmth flooding through your chest. 

"No, no, no, that's right." You assured him, a steadily beaming smile creeping across your face and Steve practically lit up with relief. "I just can't believe you remembered."

He snorted a little as he reached for the door and swung it open, a strong arm catching around your waist and pulling you into him to create a clear path for the elderly couple who were on their way out. 

"I remember a lot of things about you, probably more than I should." His voice was softer than you'd ever heard it and if the boy heard or even felt the way your breath hitched then he didn't say anything. Simply smiling proud and wide as the old couple thanked you, the lady cooing about 'what a cute couple you were and such lovely manners too.'

And when you finally dared to chance a look up at him he was already watching you. The tension from the car ride returning, something electric brewing in the small space between you that apparently made the boy feel bolder.  

"I did forget something today though." He mumbled, gaze a little warmer, a little flirtier, fixed on yours as he lifted his hand to tug high at your scarf, a light touch that caused his hand to barely graze the edge of your jaw and jesus christ, you couldn't fucking breathe. "Should have told you how pretty you look the moment you stepped foot in my car." 

You hadn't even realised your hands had made their way to his chest, fingers caught gently in his jacket from when you had swayed into him. But his breath was warm on your face and his nose was bumping yours and you swore there was a question in those pretty, honey eyes as they flicked from yours to your lips and slowly back. 

"I think I could maybe forgive you for taking this long." You whispered and he grinned, sticky-sweet and lovesick. 

"Yeah?" 

It was a question that you so badly wanted to answer by tilting your chin and pressing your lips to his. You wanted nothing more than to push yourself further into him, ached to feel him wrap himself around you, arms tight and mouth warm and giving under yours. 

But just as his lips brushed yours, the faintest echo of a touch, and you heard the boy's breath hitch, there was a crash from inside.

The sound of a plate shattering and cutlery hitting hardwood loud enough that the two of you jumped and stumbled apart with wide eyes. Gazes a little shy now the bubble you'd found yourselves in had been popped, allowing the world to rush around you once again. 

For a few moments you both just stood there, you nervously chewing at your lip as Steve ran a hand through his hair, musing it further than the wind had already. But then you caught the boy's eye and the laughter that bubbled out from you both sounded quiet and breathless, but real.

Happy.

And you could hardly bite back the smile when he tilted his head towards the inside of the diner and grinned. 

"After you, sweetheart." 

[cjlouwho]

Sleep Talking

(Dedicated to my niece, who wakes me up weekly with very detailed sleep discussions about roblox)

Before Buck slept over for the first time, Tommy had given him a warning.

“Sometimes I talk in my sleep,” he'd said. “It's not always, and usually only when I'm overly tired or stressed, but... just in case, wanted you to know.”

He'd given Buck the option to change his mind. He could stay in the spare room, or go home if he wanted, but Buck simply pulled him closer and told him there was nowhere else he'd rather be than right here.

Nothing happened that first night, or the next time they slept together, or even the next time.

Buck was starting to wonder if this was something from Tommy's childhood. Something he'd grown out of a long time ago, he just didn't know it.

And that's when it happened.

“I don't want those teeth,” he'd mumbled out, pushing a hand out in front of him. “No. Thank. You.”

He'd just gotten off a 48 that turned into a 52 and had barely gotten any sleep. He'd passed out as soon as his head hit the bed, and Buck sat up beside him, quietly reading a book with the lamp light on low.

Buck was a little startled at first, looking over at him with furrowed eyebrows. “What?” he'd asked, thinking for a split second that Tommy had woken up with something to say.

But when he saw Tommy's eyes shut tight, his face scrunched up in that way it did when he was annoyed, Buck knew.

He was sleep talking.

So, Buck waited. He waited to see if Tommy had anything else to say.

A couple minutes went by, and Tommy's face relaxed again, so Buck went to turn back to his book, then-

“I'd rather die then get veneers.”

Okay, so maybe he wasn't done.

“I just don't like them,” he continued, again shoving his hand out like he was pushing something away. “Take it all. Not my pearly whites.”

Buck closed his book and laid it on the nightstand, shutting off the light and scooting further into bed. As he did, Tommy turned and immediately snuggled into his side, resting his head on Buck's chest. “I go home with all teeth,” he commanded.

Buck wrapped his arms around him, pressing a kiss to the top of his head. “You'll get to keep your teeth, Babe,” he whispered. “I promise.”

“Hmph,” Tommy huffed. “Giddy up says the cowboy, I guess.”

Buck tried and failed to contain his laughter, but still he held Tommy closer as he drifted off to sleep himself. Luckily, he didn't mind the noise.

*****

“I don't care if she wants to go home. She is here, her leg is'a half mile down road. She going to hospital now stat!”

Tommy had mentioned having a difficult day at work. Buck was already at his place when he got home, food coming out of the oven and ready to eat as soon as Tommy showered and got changed.

They'd had a comfortably quiet dinner, Tommy mostly speaking about how good the food was, and asking Evan to please stay the night.

He didn't need to be convinced.

They'd fallen asleep with their naked bodies tangled together, too lazy to get out of bed and put anything back on.

If it wasn't for the fact Tommy was talking nearly directly in Buck's ear, he probably wouldn't have even woken up.

“Lady, you don't have a leg to stand on. Literally. I'm takin' you to hospital and you get help with leg.” He moved his head as though he were turning to speak to someone else, “And help with brain,” he muttered.

Buck tried to unravel himself from Tommy. Get some distance between them so he could go back to sleep without Tommy talking right in his ear. But as soon as he moved, Tommy was rolling over and wiggling around until his head laid directly over Buck's stomach. “People are so stupid,” he whispered into Buck's bellybutton. “This is a comfy sandwich though.”

*****

“Evan makes better casseroles than this.”

It was the middle of the day, and Tommy had fallen asleep on the couch. They'd spent thirty-six of the last forty-eight hours moving Buck's things into his place, and that was after Tommy had come off of a forty-eight hour shift. So, while Buck and Eddie finished eating lunch at the kitchen table, Tommy had decided to lie down and rest his eyes for a few minutes.

“This casserole tastes like sewage.”

Eddie peered into the living room, then looked over at Buck, who was eating his sandwich like nothing was happening at all.

“What's he talking about?” Eddie asked.

Buck's eyebrows furrowed. “What? Who?”

“Evan uses chicken breast. So much better than this.”

Eddie waved in Tommy's direction. “Come on, Man!”

“Oh! Yeah, he's just sleep talking. Does it when he's overly tired.”

“He... He sleep talks about your casseroles?”

Buck smiled, nodding. “He really likes them. You know, I wasn't sure if he was just telling me they were good to be nice, but he doesn't have a filter when he sleep talks so that's how I know.”

Eddie glanced at Tommy again. “Does he ever sleep talk about me?”

Buck's posture straightened and he pursed his lips. “I can't break that trust, Eddie.”

“He does!” Eddie exclaimed. “What's he say? Did he talk about Muay Thai? Because headbutting is an illegal move so technically he didn't win.”

“I said I can't break his trust,” Buck repeated, getting up to throw his trash away. “Although, if someone was losing so they made it look like they got headbutted... Well, I wouldn't know anything about it.”

“I knew it! Your man is such a sore loser, Buck.” Eddie got up and walked over to Tommy, crossing his arms over his chest as he spoke. “I spent my day off unloading boxes for you,” he whispered over him. “I could have left you alone with Buck. Everyone else made excuses but I didn't.”

“Only thing better than casserole is his soup,” Tommy said, one hand going to his stomach. “I call it sex soup, cause it goes down the throat 'n straight to my-"

“Okay,” Eddie grimaced, walking away. “I'm about to lose my lunch.”

“Did he mention sex soup?” Buck asked.

“Mhm.”

Buck nodded. “Always ends up there after casserole.” He shrugged, “It is really good soup though.”

“Ugh,” Eddie groaned. “I hate you both.”

*****

Buck learned over time that Tommy's sleep talking from being overly tired versus his sleep talking from being stressed were two very different things. Overly tired Tommy was funny, sarcastic, and a little bitchy. He was much like awake Tommy, things just made less sense and he had no filter whatsoever.

Stressed Tommy was like listening to the saddest, most angsty drama you've ever heard in your life.

“Please,” he muttered out, sounding like he was on the verge of having a breakdown. “Please, listen to me.”

Buck was mostly used to the sleep talking now, but the difference in Tommy's voice shook him awake. He knew Tommy had a bad day. It was the anniversary of his mom's death, which was already rough, but then his dad called and said he'd be coming into town. He expected Tommy to meet with him for lunch. When Tommy declined, there was a fight. Mostly on his dad's side, with Tommy sitting there and listening, becoming more and more disconnected with each word. His dad just kept going and going until Buck reached out for the phone, taking it from Tommy's hand and hanging up for him.

He'd gotten quiet after that. Withdrawn in a way Buck hadn't seen before. He was usually an open book about his life. He'd told Buck all the good and the bad, and there was a lot of bad, but something about the phone call was different.

“I don't want you,” Tommy groaned, his head moving left to right so quickly his neck made a popping sound. “I want...” his voice trailed off. Buck slowly lowered his arm over Tommy's waist, hoping that would help him rest, but it only seemed to stir him back up. His legs kicked out quickly as he turned onto his side, facing away from Buck. “You don't listen to me!” he exclaimed. It made Buck's heart race a little. He never usually shouted when he was sleep talking.

“It should have been you, not her!”

The next noise Tommy made sounded less human and more like a dog crying out in pain. His body thrashed out, his arm nearly smacking Buck on the chest.

“You always hated me,” he said, quieter this time. “I see it in the mirror.”

That was all Buck could handle. He quickly sat up and turned the lamp on. “Tommy,” he whispered. He wanted nothing more than to reach out and touch him, but he knew that was probably the worst idea at this point.

“It's not... It's not fair. It's not fair. I don't-”

“Tommy!”

Tommy's eyes shot open as he sucked in a breath of air.

He blinked a few times, eyes darting around until he met Buck's.

“Was I..?”

Buck nodded. “I think it was a nightmare though. You- I couldn't touch you.”

Tommy looked so tired, his eyes struggling to stay open even as his chest heaved. “I'm sorry.”

“You don't need to be sorry,” Buck replied, moving closer to Tommy now that he was awake. “I was just worried.”

“Was it... about him?”

“Yeah, I- I think so.”

Tommy pulled Buck close, nearly wrapping their bodies together like a pretzel. “I really hate him, Evan,” he said, voice breaking as he settled his head into the crook of Buck's neck.

Buck ran his hand up and down Tommy's back. “I know you do, Baby. I know.”

*****

There was one conversation Tommy had in his sleep more than any other, and Buck never got tired of that one.

“He's so pretty. Like a teapot.”

The things he called Buck were always different, but the overall message never changed.

“This Evan, he is love my life.”

Buck grinned. He loved when Tommy missed a word here and there.

“Nah, he won't bite you. Only me.”

Tommy let out an exasperated sigh before speaking again. “He's my special on menu. I like him and me like peanut butter and jelly. Apple jelly, duh, are you crazy?”

Another sigh, and Tommy wiggled his legs a little. “I know you drive thru, I wants fries with that. He's my chicken nugget. Love my chicken nugget.”

Buck turned to his side, pressing his body against Tommy's and wrapping an arm around him. He pressed a kiss to the back of his head. “Your chicken nugget loves you too.”

[darnell-la]

Request if you’re taking any!?

Enemies to smut. You finally cave in one night and you both settle things in bed but you’re like a massive brat not letting him dom but you give in everyone in the mansion hears then you have to deal with everyone’s comments the next day

note: young Logan Howlett can be a feral man when it comes to his women talking back. He secretly loves it, but everyone knows.

———

“Maybe if you took your claws out of your ass, you’d work better in the field!” Y/n yelled at Logan who had complained about her messing him up in recent missions they’ve had together.

“Oh, yeah? Well, maybe if didn’t worry about putting on makeup and dressing like some fuckin’ whore of the night, you could be more prepared before the mission! You barely know what we do on missions because you’re late!”

“Oh, fuck off,” y/n flipped the man off as she walked away, from the professor's room. “Fuck off? No, you fuck off! Always fuckin’ up but can’t take the consequences. I’m done working with you!” The man yelled as he followed behind her.

“Great! Maybe now I can breathe and have fun!” The young lady kept waking away from the man, having had enough of him already, and she had just woken up.

“You kill the fun! Always bitchin’ and talkin’ about me!” Logan said, making her laugh. “Ian a fan of old men, baby,” she said, now heading up the stairs. He followed.

“You sayin’ that like you’re not all over me when you’re drunk,” Logan was cocky, and she knew it. She liked it, but he pissed her off so much, she couldn’t stop arguing back.

“See how you gotta get me drunk to be on you?” Y/n said, making the man groan loudly in annoyance. She always had something to say back. He loved it but had to keep arguing.

“I could get you sober, Bub, and I know it. You fuckin’ know it,” he said, so close to her, but He had made it into her room and shut the door in his face, ignoring his true comment.

“Open the fuckin’ door,” Logan said low, still angry, but didn’t want to seem like he was begging. “Aww? Are you mad I don’t give a fuck about your scenarios with me?” Y/n fake pouted.

“They ain’t fake if you rub your ass on me anytime you get a pinch of liquor down that pretty throat of yours,” Logan was furious, yet she felt comfort from his wording. Pretty throat of yours…

“You wanna get me drunk, baby? So I can give you attention?” Y/n asked as she opened her door with a smirk to get him upset. Before the door was even fully open, he pushed through, grabbing her neck and slamming the door behind him.

“Like I said, Bub,” Logan slammed y/n against her room wall, causing a yelp to escape from her mouth. “Ion needa get you drunk to have that cunt leaking,”

Y/n would argue, but once she thought to herself and remembered he had enhanced smell, she almost wanted to shut down.

“Talkin’ all loud and big, makin’ me seem like I’m horny for you, yet, you’re soaked. Fuckin’ leaking your panties,” Logan said as his hands forced their way through her right jeans.

“So fuckin’ wet, I could end dehydration,” Logan teased her as he rubbed all over her pussy, fingers running through her slit as thumb swollen around her bud.

“Y-You can’t fuck me,” y/n was willing to bet. “At least not before I make you cum,” y/n used her strength to push Logan off. They grabbed his belt and dragged him towards the bed before pushing him down.

“No chance-“ Before he could finish, y/n gave him a well-deserved punch to his face. Logan was too surprised to realize she was pulling his jeans down. “Did you just punch me?” Logan asked, too shocked to think straight.

It was hot, yet he wanted to kill her, and by killing her, he meant her insides when he pounded into her squirming form.

“And what are you gonna do about it? Cum? Because that's what it looks like,” Y/n laughed at the man, having his cock in her hand, and the sight of him was unbelievable.

She hadn’t said one nice thing about him, yet he’s leaking am begging to release it all.

“That it-“ Before he could say anything, he stopped, freezing just as the words in his mouth. Y/n almost had all of him in her mouth. She tried to fit everything she could.

“F-F-F-“ Logan couldn’t get out as his eyes crossed and hands curled in his hair. “Mhm hmm?” She hummed in his cock, seeing how his eyes didn’t know what to do.

Y/n giggled at the man’s length as she bobbed her head, slurping him with slightly hard sucks. She couldn’t help but let out small moans and whines while she was at it.

“Fuck, pretty — Ain’t know you could get down like this — This fuckin’ good,” Logan’s breathed heavily as his hands placed in her hair. “Mhm hmm, right there, baby. Keep goin,” Logan gripped y/n’s hair to guide her.

The young lady began to slap at his arms, wanting him to later do what she wanted, but all he did was chuckle at her struggle.

“Thought you’d be gettin’ what you want?” Logan asked as he shifted on her bed and began thrusting his hips upward. “Think just because I’ll come before I stick it in that cunt, that I’ll just stop right then?”

“Oh, Bub, I can go forever. I’ll fill you up more than you could count,” the man told no lie. Y/n was angry, yet turned on that the man wanted to fill her multiple times.

“That’s it, keep gaggin’ — I’m so close,” the man growled as he looked directly into her eyes. She tried staying strong, but she ended up softening her eyes as they rolled back.

“Look so good, Bub — You always do,” he said, gaining a whine from her. “Mhm hmm, that’s it. That’s my girl,” the man chuckled, knowing she hated him, he loved him at the same time.

“Down, down,” Logan groaned, pushing y/n all the way down onto his cock, forcing his tip to graze the back of her throat as he spilled into her. Y/n cried, gagged, and scratched at the man, but took it all just how he wanted.

“C’mere, pain in my ass,” Logan pulled y/n off of him so rough, she almost slipped when he pulled her to her knees and pushed on her the bed. His cock still spilled out cum, as he wasn’t finished cumming, but he didn’t care. He needed to be in her officially.

“Stop! Let me at least-“ y/n tried pushing Logan to the side so she could get on him, but he wouldn’t allow it. “You don’t get what you want anymore. You’re gonna lay the fuck down and shut the fuck up,” Logan had gripped the girl's neck tightly to warn her to calm down.

“You’re an asshole — that cums fast,” y/n grinned, knowing he wouldn’t like her comment. “You're funny, you know?” Logan said with a soft voice but didn’t mean it in the slightest.

The strong man forced y/n on all fours before he ripped her jeans off. “Logan!” She yelled, instantly getting her face forced into the sheets. “Shut the fuck up, before I hurt you. And I know you’ll like it. You’ll like anything I give you,”

Logan slapped at the girl's ass before he ripped her panties off, taking a quick sniff with an eye roll before stuffing them in his jean's back pocket.

“Hey, those were my favorite pair!” Y/n yelled. “Thankfully, I don’t give a fuck,” the man cussed before he pushed into y/n with full force, trapping a loud scream she wanted to let out.

“Yeah, you fuckin’ slut,” Logan pulled y/n back by her hair with one hand as the other wrapped around her neck. “You fuckin’ like that, huh? Like me being an asshole? Like me using you like you mean nothing!?”

Logan snapped his hips hard, forcing her ass to clap right back into his pelvis. The noise made the situation better.

“Oh, but you are somehting, Bub. My girl. My pretty girls who’s gonna run her mouth, talk shit, and get tough a lesson,” y/n whined as her walls clenched around him.

He wanted her. She didn’t care how rude he was to her, at least she knew he wanted her.

“You know how many people are gonna laugh at you? Seeing how fucked up I have you when we leave rooms? So damn dumb, and fucked out,”

He was even willing to let people know he wanted her. She couldn’t stop pulsing around him.

“You’re gonna be my girl, and keep runnin’ that mouth. I like it. Like it so fuckin’ much, it just makes me wanna ruin this pussy even more,”

Y/n finally came with a loud cry as her body shook and gave out on her. “Thaaat’s it, baby,” Logan dragged as he kept y/n up, forcing her body to take more than she could.

“Maybe I should so then right now. Show them how fuckin’ limp you get on my dick,” Logan teased the girl as her hands scratched at her arms, needing some kind of slowed-down rhythm of his, but he wouldn’t give it.

“L-Lo,” y/n couldn’t stop her crying as another orgasm washed over her body. The man growled, feeling his cock twitch as he gave the young lady a few more slaps to her ass.

“Might wanna keep it down, baby. Don’t want them knowin’ you fuck with your enemy, eh? You should know I don’t care by now. I’ll fuck you at our meeting tomorrow,”

“T-Too much,” y/n cried all night, needing a break, but he didn’t care. She’s talked back to him too many times, started too many fights, and can’t keep her mouth closed. She’ll learn tonight.

[cryptidghostgirl]

hii i read your fic with the humanalastor! x reader where they become like partners in crime (i loved it sm)

and got an idea based off of it

what if Alastor dies first and a few years later Alastor and the reader reunite after she goes to the hotel? thought it would be kinda cute :)

A/N ngl I was thinking of doing something like this so I am very happy it is desired by the people as well. Also, we're gonna pretend that the timeline I created wouldn't make her like over a hundred years old when she died, okay? Okay.

Cover Up Pt. 2 (Alastor x Reader)

Pairing: Alastor x Reader

Warnings: Mentions of murder and blood, nothing graphic. Alastor being a depressed little bitch. Also a lot of dead bird metaphors for lost hope. Please let me know if I forgot anything.

Word Count: 1,971

Part One: Cover Up (Human!Alastor x Human!Reader)

Master Lists:

Master Lists 

Hazbin Hotel Master List

When Alastor had died, Y/n had shattered. Their years of holding one another's bloodstained hands had finally drawn to a close. They had a good run, nearly a decade before anyone caught on. His death also came with the added downside of throwing suspicion on Y/n. To say the event changed her life would be an understatement.

When Alastor had first woken up in Hell, he had mourned his loss as if she was the one who had died and not him. The allowance of such a foolish thing was short lived. He quickly realized there was no way Y/n wouldn't end up in Hell as well eventually, with her track record. He refocused his pain, his anguish into making sure he had the perfect world to serve up to her on a platter as soon as she arrived.

As the years ticked on, the little bird fluttering away in his ribcage became more and more despondent. He tried to distract himself by continuing his work, continuing his plans for her. Always for her. It worked to a certain extent but, soon it had been sixty years and she still hadn't made her arrival. It didn't matter how many overlords he killed, how many worthless souls he tortured. There was nothing that could take his mind off that.

Alastor wondered what sort of life Y/n had made for herself after his death. He wondered if she had found love again, held out hope that she hadn't. It was a selfish wish, he knew it. Alastor had always been selfish. It wasn't that he wished for her to be unhappy, just that he knew she was the only person, living or dead, out there for him. There was no hope for Alastor that wasn't Y/n and he wanted her to feel the same way about him. He didn't want to lose, to have been an idiot, to have been the one that loved more. At the same time, he didn't want her to feel that way either. It was complicated and confusing, the twists of his own logic.

Another decade and he began wondering if somehow his beloved wife had gotten into Heaven instead. He knew it was a long shot, after everything she had done but, she had also never killed anyone who didn't deserve it. Maybe there was some exception for women who killed their pursuers, when the pursuers were coming on too intensely or had ulterior motives. He wondered if she'd remarried, if she had kids. If she was still on earth, there would have to be something that was keeping her there and that was the only thing that made sense.

Eighty years, as it turned out, had been all he could take. The bird had died and its corpse had rotted, festering into anger. Not anger at Y/n no, never anger at Y/n but anger at the world, at the system of the afterlife. He became bolder, brasher, more foolish. He got caught in a bad deal.

Coming to the hotel had been a command, yes, but it had also ended up being something of a salvation for the man. In the seven years of his disappearance from the rings of Hell, there had been little to distract him from the growing hole of Y/n's absence. It was a hungry thing, a deep seated want, a controlling desire. The hotel served to fill it. Not completely, but a little. It was better than nothing. Besides, for all her violence, Y/n had always had a way of seeing the best in others, in the world around her. He was certain she would have liked Charlie if she ever got to meet her, certain the hotel would shine in his wife's eyes.

Husk and Nifty were the only two who knew. They had both met him when Alastor's focus had been the creation of a world for Y/n, it was impossible for them not to. They had both noticed how as the years had passed, he had said her name less, how he had become crueler. Not even Charlie had in inkling of an idea that Alastor might be missing something, might be unshakable heartbroken. He hid it well.

Even now as he entered the lobby intent on finding Charlie in order to discuss some of the decor on the upper floors, he made sure his smile was firmly fixed in place. A smile was the strongest weapon a person or demon could have, the strongest disguise. He made sure he was never without one.

"So you just arrived today?" he heard Charlie saying as he began to make his way down the stairs.

He could see her by the door, talking to a demon whom her position obscured from his vision. A new guest. Internally, Alastor sighed. This was throwing a wrench into his plans for the day.

"Yeah I... it's all so confusing here. Wonderful in a way, don't get me wrong but... when I heard about your hotel, it seemed safe."

The unknown demon's voice was soft, it pulled at his heart strings. The corpse of the bird was a puppet at its familiarity. It was a sickening feeling, the dead body of his hope being pulled up and twitched around for another's unknowing amusement. Alastor nearly faltered, hesitating on the last step.

"So are you actually interested in redemption?" Charlie asked, sounding downcast.

"Well, I'm not really sure yet. Is that okay? I mean, I just got here today and... either way, I love the idea of your hotel and I want to help. I could work as a maid? Or I'm a pretty good cook? My husband always said so anyways. I'm sort of trying to find someone too so... What I'm trying to say is that I could work until I've figured it out, if that is alright with you?"

Charlie hummed in thought as Alastor began to cross the room, heading straight for the pair.

"It's a bit unorthodox but, I suppose. We could always use another helping hand."

"Really!?" the stranger exclaimed, "Oh thank you!"

Alastor was over Charlie's shoulder practically now. She shifted on her feet, allowing Alastor to at last see the person she was talking to.

"So, what's your name?"

The demon opened her mouth to speak but, before a word could leave her lips, she was interrupted by a static filled voice. It brought back memories, hurt her heart to hear.

"Y/n."

There was no doubt about it. Even in her new demon form, Alastor knew. It was the curl of her hair, it was the brightness of her eyes, the way she held herself. She looked up at him with wide eyes.

"When did you get here?" Charlie asked in confusion as she turned to the side, turning the pair into a group of three all facing one another, "Also, you know her? Oh my gosh, wait. Are you okay? I don't think I've ever seen you not smiling before."

Neither payed the princess any mind, each absorbed in one another's eyes. Y/n took a sutering half step forwards, her mouth slightly open.

"Alastor?"

It was barley more than a whisper. She took another step towards him, then yet another. Lifting her hand, she gently cupped it around his cheek. Instinctively, the Radio Demon leaned into the touch.

"It really is you... isn't it."

Alastor pulled Y/n into his arms, wrapping her in his frame and resting his chin on the top of her head. Y/n was frozen in shock for a moment before she returned the gesture, balling her fists in to the back of his coat.

"Wow. You guys really know each other." Charlie mumbled to herself, eyes wide.

The pair pulled apart, Alastor still holding Y/n's waist as Y/n held his coat. She looked up at him, disbelief etched into her features, her sentiments reflected back to her in Alastor's own face.

"I thought..." he mumbled, raising a hand and tucking a stray strand of hair behind her ear, "I thought I'd never see you again."

Y/n laughed tearfully.

"Me too."

"Where have you been? What happened? What... what took you so long?"

"If I had known I was coming to you, I would have died way sooner. I lived, Al. That's what happened. I only just got here today."

"I know, I heard, but what... what kept you?"

Y/n heard the tremor in his voice, the fear. She looked up at him, eyes narrowed.

"Are you jealous?"

Alastor's eyes flicked to the side momentarily. One of his ears twitched. It might have been nearly ninety years since they had last seen one another, they might've looked completely different and had whole lives the other wasn't in, but it felt like they had just seen one another yesterday.

"Oh, you so are!" Y/n teased brightly.

"Y/n."

"Yeah, yeah. It's just dumb is all, especially now I know you've been here all along."

"So tell me."

Y/n had always loved his insistence. It was what kept Alastor to his code, kept him to her, kept him him. She smiled once again.

"Soooo..." Charlie stepped in, her hands behind her back, "Either of you want to explain?"

Both Alastor and Y/n at last turned to look at her. He was smiling again, Charlie noticed. Not the normal ear to ear grin, teeth bared, she was used to. Something smaller, something softer. They released one another, only for Alastor to immediately drape an arm over Y/n's shoulders. It almost seemed like each feared the other would vanish into thin air if they weren't physically touching. She reached a hand up, gently holding his hand where it hung off her shoulder, keeping him to her.

"Charlie, this is my darling, lovely wife."

Y/n shoved him playfully and he smiled down at her.

"You're married!?"

"Yes." Y/n nodded, "We are. Have been for what, like one hundred years now?"

"So what kept you?" Alastor asked again and Y/n sighed.

"You really aren't going to let this go, are you?"

He shook his head. Y/n slipped out from under Alastor's arm, taking both his hands in hers. Her fingers traced his knuckles, the lines of his bones beneath the surface of his skin. Her eyes watched their hands, she sighed.

"After... well, Al, you died burying a body. It was hard for people not to know. I..."

"You got caught? You went to jail?" Alastor interrupted, his smile having fallen once again.

Y/n laughed slightly under her breath.

"No, heart. I stopped my own work but, the whole world knew of yours. I thought that... it was so dumb! I thought that... if I was alive, then so was the real version of you in some way. Not the true crime, vandalized version, but the person I knew."

Alastor lifted her face to his, his hand lingering under her chin.

"You were always secretly quite the romantic, weren't you."

"Oh hush you."

"Make me."

Y/n cheeks suddenly flushed bright red.

"Okay!" Charlie interrupted, laughing nervously, "Okay, well, I'm happy for... this, um, Alastor! Why don't you show Y/n around?"

"With pleasure."

Alastor leaned down, kissing Y/n gently. Her hand was half raised to burry itself in his hair when he pulled away, smirking in response to Y/n's irritated glare. Linking arms with her, he began leading Y/n to the staircase.

"I must say, I rather like this new look of yours." he hummed placidly.

"You're not half bad yourself deer boy, if a little cocky."

"I was always cocky. That's what you liked about me."

"Wrong. It's only one of the things I love about you."

----

Next Part -> Cover Up pt. 3

[inkdrinkerworld]

hello!! could you write about spencer catching sunshine reader during a sad time? like perhaps reader has very rarely shown spencer what she gets like when shes sad, so when he catches her, she is stubborn at first and doesn't want to open up, but eventually eases into it? thank you :))

Cw: mentions of parents venting to their kids, being sad

Wc: 1.4k

You’re not sure what you'd done to deserve a day like today exactly, only that you’d woken up and from the very first moment you’d had a hard time of it.

Your planned outfit had a stain, you forgot to make extra dinner to have for lunch, you cut your ankle shaving and then your mom called.

Calls with her have a habit of being fifty fifty. It can either be a good call, or it can be a call where she uses you as a sounding board for all her negative thoughts, worries and despite the many times you’ve told her to stop, she hasn’t.

It’s safe to say by the time you walk into work you don’t even have the energy to smile- you’re using it all not to cry.

Not even your back up outfit is working it's magic- a green top with brown pants, your favourite outfit to feel like a hobbit.

Emily calls you into the round table room as soon as you walk in, giving you a little more reason to avoid Spencer’s curious gaze.

Spencer doesn’t really take into account just how bad your mood is till you volunteer to stay in Quantico with Penelope rather than go out in the field.

“Y/n?” He touches your elbow gently as the rest of the team go for their bags. It’s just you and him in the round table room and your hands shake from holding back tears.

Spencer hasn’t ever seen you this upset, sure during a case you’re mad at the things you guys read and uncover, but this is a different type of upset and Spencer doesn’t really know what to do with it.

He just knows he wants to make it better.

“Yeah Spence?” You try to keep your voice even, knowing he’ll only worry more and the case needs his worry more than you do.

“What’s going on? You haven’t looked up at me once and you keep scrunching your nose. You also haven’t smiled since you got here.” He’s a profiler to his core, but this is just you and him, of course he’d notice everything.

You shrug, scrunching your nose again. “The case isn’t exactly something to be happy about, is it?”

Spencer knows what you’re trying to do, but you don’t get the tone right for anger- you just sound defeated.

“Either way, you and Penelope have a knack for smiling through it and you haven’t even tried once.” Ever soft, ever tender are the words that escape him.

He bends his knees a little, chasing your eyes. “What is it?” Spencer’s thumb strokes the inside of your wrist, wanting nothing more than to help.

“Spencer, can we talk about it when the case is over?” You can feel the pressure of the tears behind your eyes and you don’t want to cry here.

Not where anyone can see.

You’d much rather do it at home, where you can curl up under your blanket and sob until you lose your voice.

“Alright, but we will talk; yeah?” You nod and Spencer squeezes your forearm, a firm and soothing pressure on your skin.

The case takes a day and a half to wrap up, and you’re barely holding it together- Penelope lent you her favourite unicorn desk pal for the entire case and also her fluffy pen.

“I’m sorry, babe. You’ll feel better once this is over and you can have a good cry.” She says, your head on her shoulder as you wait for your team to come back.

You nod, “How badly do you think Spencer will react if I start crying now?” Your throat is tight with emotion- honestly you’re not sure if it’s just from your previous day or also the exhaustion of working into the next evening.

“Oh, pretty bad,” she says and you chuckle, a few tears rolling freely down your face. “But I think he’ll be more worried.”

Before you can say anything, there’s a knock on Penelope’s door and you already know who it is- only Spencer knocks. You wipe away the tears hoping that will be enough to hide them from Spencer- it likely won’t be.

“See you tomorrow Pen,” you say, gathering your things and opening the door.

Spencer looks more tired than you expected and you have to assume you don’t look so rested either.

“You’re back,” he nods, taking your satchel bag from you and reaching for your hand.

“What’s wrong?” He murmurs, leading you to a secluded spot in the hall. Spencer doesn’t say it, but your eyes bare all your emotions even if your face is neutral. They’re red and they’ve got a sad look about them, just completely and utterly exhausted. Spencer wants to help any way he can.

You debate how you should start, if you should just tell him about your bad day from beginning to end or if you should just tell him about your weird relationship with your mother and let him fill in the blanks from there.

You decide it wouldn’t be fair to Spencer because he never had you guessing when he’s sharing things so you won’t do it to him.

“Um,” you can already feel the pressure building behind your eyes again. “Yesterday was off to a terrible start, nothing was going quite right from the moment my feet hit the floor.”

Spencer nods, listening quietly as you wring your hands tightly. He takes them easily, holding them in his own and stroking the skin on the back of your hand.

“Then my mom called which could really go either way, and I had to listen to her complain about my dad and every other thing in her life and it gives me a lot of anxiety hearing some of the things and she just wouldn’t stop.”

Your tears are rolling freely now and Spencer pulls you to his chest, fear of germs be damned.

He quiets his own feelings about you crying and about the way you sound recounting your day.

“She just says these things like I’m supposed to be the one to fix them and I can’t and she’s mad that I can’t and it just messes with me sometimes.”

Spencer can deduce what you’re too kind to say- it isn’t your fault or your problem and you shouldn’t be made to feel like it’s your responsibility to make it right.

Your hands shake against Spencer’s back and he sighs, squeezing you just a bit tighter.

“I’m sorry,” his hands coast up and down your back, massaging at the nape of your neck when he reaches there. “I’m sorry she puts it on you, and I know that you’re aware it isn’t your problem to solve but you can’t help that either. Maybe over time she’ll come to realise that you can’t solve all of the things she tells you.”

You nod, trying to stop hiccuping against him. “M’sorry about your shirt Spence.” He laughs, nose in your hair as he holds you.

“It’s okay,” you sniffle harshly trying to clear your sinus. “Want to come over and watch Lord of The Rings?” This wouldn’t be the first time you’ve been there- you’ve spent nights there after drinks with the team and movie nights just the two of you.

All the same it’s a shocking proposal from Spencer right after a case, you know he likes to decompress in his own way.

You gasp, leaning back from his arms a little. It’s hard to miss the care displayed so clearly in his gaze. It’s harder to fight the urge to kiss him. “The extended versions?” Spencer notes that you’ve a little more spark in your tone, a little more life in your eyes.

“Yeah, I think we can make it through the entire trilogy if we hurry.” There’s a grin on his lips as he says it.

“Spencer, don’t play with me here. We’re talking serious business.” He laughs, hiking your bag higher on his shoulder as he watches you wipe your tears.

“I’m not playing. Is your go-bag full or do you want to stop by your place on the way to mine?” He hopes secretly that you don’t have your own sleep clothes, it’s a selfish want to see you in one of his shirts or even a cardigan.

“I have clothes, we can go straight there. And you’re driving, you have all the maps in your head with the shortest routes.”

Spencer nods, like he was ever going to make you drive. “Plus you’re a hazard on the road, absolute chaos behind a wheel.”

Spencer feels his chest lighten when your laugh explodes from you, loud and so like yourself as you wait for the elevator to open.

[russellsppttemplates]

More Dad!Lando, please! How about a colicky Fraiser, a frazzled yn and dad Lando to rh rescue?

Cw: mentions baby's colic, postpartum recovery from c-section

"It's okay, my love, you're okay, mummy is right here", you cooed as you changed Fraser's nappy, "nearly done and then you can feel better hopefully", you sighed, finishing it and rubbing the baby's tummy like you remembered the nurses teaching you how to do in the hospital.

You weren't even sure what time it was, having decided against staying in your bedroom and moving to the nursery so Lando could rest. Even though Fraser slept with you and not in the nursery, you still had all the furniture in there for once you made the transition and right now it was proving to be useful, even if it didn't have a clock anywhere in sight and the lack of sleep was catching up to you.

"I know it hurts, I'm sorry, my love, mummy's doing the best she can - good, good, let all of that wind out", you smiled a little before he started crying again, "Oh, baby, let's have a cuddle", you lowered your top, letting him feel your skin on his after you unbuttoned the top of his babygrow.

The cold bed next to Lando let him know you hadn't been in the bedroom for quite some time, making him stand up and look for you, heading to the nursery since Fraser wasn't in his cot either. The sight before him pulled on his heartstrings. First, because his wife and snuggling your baby, another little one you were blessed enough to bring to the world, and even if you didn't believe it sometimes, the way you looked mothering his children was his favourite - you were the best mummy for them. Second, however, it pulled on his heartstrings because it was noticeable how much it was taking a toll on you. You still looked beautiful - that would never be a question - but he couldn't help but notice the dropped shoulders, the way your movements were still slow and needing you to think before moving a certain way so it wouldn't hurt, and how frazzled you looked.

"Hey, you two", Lando cooed, getting your attention as you bounced the baby around, "would you like daddy's help?", he mused.

Your nod was all he needed to scoop the baby boy and settle him in your chest, rubbing his back as he seemed to nestle into his father's naked chest, "you're not a happy little guy, are you? Is your tummy giving you trouble, Fraser?", Lando cooed as the cries didn't quite settle.

"He was fussing so much and I didn't want to wake you, so we moved here", you explained the reason why you didn't stay in the bedroom as usual.

"You should've woken me up, love, but it's okay, I'm here now", Lando smiled, kissing your forehead softly, "maybe some massages will help? You can lay on mummy and daddy can rub your tummy", he suggested.

"I did them for a bit, but he looked like he needed some comforting too", you mumbled.

You sat on the big chair, shuffling the pillows to make yourself comfortable before Lando set Fraser on your torso, his head nestled over your boobs as his father undid the rest of his babygrow, his fingers starting to massage his belly and slowly working all that was bothering him out, "you like being in mummy's chest, don't you?", Lando smiled, "daddy likes it too, but you've all but stolen it from me these days - it's okay though", he attempted to break a smile on your tired features.

Soon enough, Fraser settled down, falling asleep on Lando's chest once he got him back to snuggle into it, swaying from side so side was you did the same, sandwiching you son between you per your husband's request, "no one is alone in this, darling", he said as he pulled you to hug his waist.

(Thank you for sending this in ✨️)

[chaniceroses]

Bad Boys Ride or Die (Armando x Reader): Part One

Another day... another morning. Time seems to be passing you by without allowing you to catch up and you feel as if your life is slowly running its course. It’s been about an hour since you have woken up but since the sun is always aligned with your window before work, that’s how you knew it was time to get up and get ready. The birds chirping, neighbors mowing their yard and arguing. A continuous cycle that you sometimes wish would end. You laid there in your soft, silky sheet until you heard a knock at your door. Getting up, putting on your cheetah print robe, you slipped on your house shoes and walked over to your door.

“Who is it?” You asked, holding on to the door knob.

“It’s us, who else would it be?”, a familiar voice answered with a slight chuckle.

You sighed while unlocking the door, opening it to see two black males standing there making eye-contact. They were the ones “training” you for the detective spot.

“What do you guys want? You know this can’t be an everyday routine, right?”You laughed walking away towards your open kitchen. 

“Make sure you shut my door and lock it, I don’t need anyone else barging in.” You continued leaning against your counter-table.

“Get used to it y/n. Since we are training you, and you are going to be with us all of the time…we might as well hang over each other's houses and be friends.”,Mike answered taking a seat

“Mike, we haven’t done any training”. She’s basically a tag-along.” Marcus replied looking through his phone.

“Tag-along? Please don’t get me started..”, you scoffed looking at Marcus and then at Mike.

You stared into Mike’s dark brown eyes, while examining his body features. Mike Lowery is his name, a tall light-skinned black male with a goatee mustache, smooth skin-texture, soft plump lips, ears that kind of sticks out with a tiny earring that brings out his face. 

“Imma guess that you like what you see.”Mike smiled, walking up towards you. He towered over you. It made you feel some kind of way but then again nothing at all. You turned to look at Marcus, to see him shaking his head into his hands. 

“Hmm…no.”, you laughed, patting him on his chest and then walking towards your bedroom. “Give me an hour and then we can head out.”

“Forty-five minutes since you just pulled that bullshit.”, Mike replied sitting down next to Marcus while he laughed .

“Two words for you…Married. Man.”, Marcus recalled pointing to the ring that was on his finger.

“You’re right.”

You could hear their conversation the whole time however, you didn’t pay attention because there were other things on your mind regarding your job. You know it isn’t time to choose just yet and to make a decision that could change your life and your relationship with your “partners”, however you also know that the sand is slowly slipping. 

Time had passed and you were heading out when you noticed your living room window was slightly opened, you stared at it for a moment then walked over to shut it and left. Before you knew it, you were in the backseat of Marcus’s and Mike’s car on the way to work. This was their way of getting to know you better, training you and “being generous”.  However, the ride to the precinct slowly had put you in a trance, reminding you of your last conversation between you and Captain Howard before he was murdered…

“Captain!!!” You yelled walking up towards him. “Anything for me to do, check up on, investigate ... .alone”, you whispered, moving your focus from him to Marcus and Mike. Conrad Howard was his name and he was the one who had partnered you with Marcus and Mike since he considered them to be“ experienced” in what they do.

“What are you talking about y/n?”he asked, raising one of his eyebrows while folding his arms.

“Heyyyyy! Captain… what do you think about-” before Mike could finish his sentence, he was interrupted by Howard putting his finger up to Mike.

“Did he just-”

“He did.”, Marcus sighed looking at Mike, you and then at Captain

“I was just wondering…if you had any files that needed to be looked at. Or maybe if I need to go somewhere and investigate…something.”, you pleaded.

“I have one file that needs to be-”

“No Cap that wouldn’t be necessary. We can go to the range and practice our shots and ride around to ensure that everyone is safe.”Mike interrupted, looking at you and Marcus.

“I actually have some files to look at myself, Mike.”, Marcus shrugged, walking off towards his desk.

You looked at Mike and watched as he looked at you, then at Captain and left.

“He’s a guy who loves action. He’ll be okay however, I want to talk to you though, Walk with me?”Howard suggested pointing towards the hallway.

“Sure what’s up?”, you asked, keeping up the pace that he was leading.

“I was wondering if you have decided what you wanted to do. With your position here. I know that you don’t need the training but you know it's “protocols”. It’s not me.”, he explained looking through the papers that he was carrying.

You were taking in what he was saying. You entered the portal about a month ago since you came from a different district, however the point still stands. Different opportunities have been thrown at you when it comes to your career and where you are right now, since you’ve been in the game for years. You would think it would be easier however now it has left you stuck. Leaving the precinct and becoming an international agent, stay and be a detective or retire and finally have a family with someone you love, decisions…decisions.

“I haven’t decided yet, so many options and personal things to think about.”, you replied, walking at the same rhythm as your boss.

“Listen…between you and I. Go with what you think is the worst.”, he replied, stopping in his tracks.

“Excuse me?” you replied confusingly tilting your head.

  “You wouldn’t be confused with what you wanted to do, if it was the best option. So go with what you are avoiding.”, he answered, looking up at you through his glasses.

“Not to take advice from you, noted.”, you thought, turning your focus towards the meeting that was happening down the hallway.

“Look, it may not make sense right now but later it will. Trust me.”, he reassured walking towards the room that a meeting was happening in.

“We’re a huge family here. Even if we hate each other’s guts. And with Mike and Marcus… They like you, and I can tell that they’ve somewhat gotten attached to you…which never happens. So ignore the things that are said especially with whatever comes out of Mike’s mouth.”, He continued pointing at you then walking into the meeting.

You watched as Captain walked into the meeting while waving the files that he was looking at earlier.

 “They like me.”, you mocked, while turning around. “They don’t even know me.” you laughed walking back towards your desk.

You must’ve gotten lost in your thoughts because when you looked forward. Marcus was turned around in his passenger seat looking right at you.

“I’m sorry?”, you asked, looking at Marcus to Mike and back at Marcus.

“What do you have planned today?”Marcus asked, looking at you with confusion across his face.

“Um, I have office work that I need to catch up on. I guess I can do that today.”, you replied, grabbing your phone from your purse.

“Office work?”Mike and Marcus replied in unison. Pure disgust crawled across their faces. You thought to yourself if you said something wrong, or maybe if it was your body expression. 

“You’re telling me that you don’t want to get in any action. Hurt people ... .fight!”Mike yelled, paying attention to the road while also taking quick glances at me through the rearview mirror.

“Mike, not everyone loves violence but y/n you should want to get some type of action..y’know. Office work. Really?”Marcus added, looking at the pedestrians going on about their day.

“I mean, if I can avoid it then yeah, I wouldn’t want to deal with it but of course sometimes it just comes my way.”, you replied scanning through downloads on your phone.

“See…I’m not the only person that attracts danger.”Mike laughed while looking at Marcus.

The rest of the ride was pretty chill besides Mike and Marcus arguing over past events with Mike dating Marcus' sister and operations that nearly blew up in their faces and their sex life. After what felt like forever,  you made it to the precinct and were instantly met by the loud voices of cops everywhere and a huge meeting happening down the hallway.

You, Marcus and Mike stared at each other confusingly, trying to figure out what was going on until a police officer came up to stop in front of you.

“They’ve been in there for hours, no one knows what’s going on.”, the cop said, staring at Marcus and Mike and then back down the hallway.

You stared at the people that were in there, making eye-contact with someone who was sitting at the head of the table.

“I’m sure it's nothing. I’m going to my desk.”, you replied, turning to Marcus and Mike and then leaving. You knew it wasn’t just “ nothing” because since Captain Howard was killed barely anyone has used that meeting room unless there was a hostage situation, or something between those lines. However, there were people from different districts in there and paper was scattered everywhere. Everyone seemed obnoxious and worried.

After a couple twists and turns down the hallway, you made it to your desk and flopped down onto your seat to be greeted by paperwork that needed to be looked through.

“What is all this?”, you whispered, opening one of the files and looking through them.

Before you knew it, all you saw was a stack of papers flying across your face onto the table. You looked up in shock to see Mike standing there with a smile across his face.

“You said you wanted files so there you go.”Mike laughed standing behind you.

“What do you want Mike? Because I am not about to look through all of those files, I'd rather be around Marcus all day and listen to him complain about his sex-life.”, you replied sitting down at your desk.

“That’s not what you said earlier.” Mike replied.

“How do you even know that? Mike, you've been telling y/n about my sex life?”, Marcus snapped getting up from his desk.

“Hell no. I-”

“I was in the back of the car. Earlier… when you guys picked me up after coming to my house which has been everyday for the last month.” you interrupted straightening up the files.

“Oh.” Marcus replied, covering his mouth. “I mean that shouldn’t even be a problem, Mike and I go over each other’s places all of the time.” he continued looking at Mike and then back at you.

“Hold up, how did you guys even know where I lived?” you asked leaning back into your chair while making direct eye-contact with them.

You watched as Mike leaned against your desk, gave Marcus a “really” look and then back at you.

“You’re smarter than that so we’re going to pretend you didn’t just ask that question…okay sweetie.”, he replied in disappointment while looking at you.

“That was a blonde moment.”, you thought to yourself. “Well guys thank you for bringing me here but I have work to do.”, you continued pushing Mike’s files to the side.

“I guess I'll grab these and put them back on my desk then.”, he stated grabbing them and putting them on top of his table.

Marcus and Mike caught the social cues that you were giving them and started analyzing the paperwork that was on their desk. They were cool people to be around. Fun and wild but also annoying and extremely obnoxious. They made you nervous due to not being able to know their next move. You scanned across the room and watched how every single person lived their lives. Some looked completely stressed, others looked as if they hadn't slept in months and the rest seemed to be taking each day slowly.

You brought your eyes towards Mike to see him typing things into his computer. You watched how his veins showed through his hands and the way his shirt compressed onto his body. You turned to look at Marcus with his eyes already piercing into yours. He was staring the whole time.

“What?”, you asked looking back at him. You watched as he shrugged you off and went back to work.

The rest of the morning was filled with everyone trying to figure out what the meeting is about, and flashbacks of your last conversation with Captain Howard. You’ve only been in Miami for a couple months now after leaving from a different precinct, and very little has occurred. This will be a long year.

[flemingsfreckles]

Better Boyfriend than Him pt.2 (18+)

Jessie Fleming x Reader

Read Part 1

Preview: You can’t stop thinking about Jessie after she proves she’s better in bed than your current boyfriend. You decide to tell her. (Inspired by the song Boyfriend by Dove Cameron)

Warnings: SMUT (18+) frat boy Jessie vibes, oral sex (r receiving), strap on sex (r receiving), masturbation, tit sucking, hickeys, swearing, very small mention to sex with men, the whole 9 yards folks.

WC: 6.0k

A/N: my plan was to end this series here but if there’s enough requests I can try and continue it, I just might need some suggestions/guidance on where to take it.

You couldn’t stop thinking about Jessie. Specifically you couldn’t stop thinking about how good she had been able to make you feel, how good it had felt to have her fingers deep inside of you, how her tongue felt on your nipples and on your clit, how it felt being under her gaze. She had been so attentive to you, paying attention to every movement and noise you made. How she had been able to make you come undone so easily with just her touch. The sights and sounds of your night together wouldn’t leave your mind.

She was in your mind all day every day, even when you were sleeping. You had woken up more days than not the past week with your core throbbing and a wet spot forming on your underwear. In an attempt to push her from your mind you’d either take a cold shower or throw on your shoes and gone for a run, punishing yourself for the thoughts.

Today was different, you were so tired of the cold showers and the running, but once again you had woken up after vividly dreaming of Jessie holding your legs open as she worked her tongue against you.

It’s not like she’d know, you thought, she’d have no idea, there’s no harm to it. You reached down, pushing your shorts and underwear off, you could feel the way the fabric clung to you for a second, your wetness holding it every so slightly. Abandoning your lower half temporarily you moved both hands up to your chest, letting your fingers gently graze over your nipples. Trying your best to copy what Jessie had done to you, you gently drew circles, feeling them harden under your touch, it felt good but not as good as when she did it. You placed your thumb in your mouth, wetting it before returning it to your nipple, a better sensation as your spit allowed your thumb to glide closer to the movements of Jessie’s tongue.

You closed your eyes, picturing Jessie straddling your waist, her weight holding your hips down as her rough fingertips played with you. You continued to play with your chest, a mixture of pinching, rolling, teasing, until you had had enough and you could feel the arousal between your legs begin to seep onto the bed sheet below you.

You let your right hand slide down your stomach, moving two fingers to collect your wetness, dragging it up toward your clit. Your fingers stayed against your clit and you began circling it, only applying the slightest bit of pressure. You were trying your best to mimic Jessie’s tongue, her tongue was warm, wet, and had mastered the art of pleasure, your fingers had not.

You had done this before, you knew you could eventually get yourself off just rubbing your clit, but that felt so boring after your night with Jessie. You were desperately missing the suction her lips had provided alongside her tongue, something you couldn’t replicate on your own.

You missed her fingers too. You moved your other hand down from your chest, your ring and middle finger finding the opening of your pussy and sliding them in. You felt yourself clench around your fingers in the same way you had Jessie’s. You continue pushing them in until you’re completely inside. Attempting to mimic Jessie movements you just start with curling your fingers, leaving them buried inside of you. It feels good, a small pressure building inside your stomach. You looked down at your hands, wishing you were looking back at Jessie’s brown eyes, her messy hair, her hands gripping onto your thighs. Just picturing her has your walls clenching tighter on your fingers. You let out a moan at the thought of her.

The previous shame you felt about fantasizing about your best friend while you touched yourself was long gone, you kept your eyes closed, imagining your hands were hers, trying to remember the feeling of her body weight on yours. Imagination running wild you couldn’t stop yourself from imagining her, now naked in your fantasy, being the one thrusting her fingers into you. You pictured the small sheen of sweat covering her face and chest, the feeling of her toned body under your hands, the way she’d look down at you, holding herself above your body as she pleased you. Picturing your name falling from her lips in a moan as she fucked you was all you needed to push yourself over the edge.

You felt your orgasm come over you, a small whimper coming from your mouth as you bit down hard on your bottom lip. You pull your fingers off of your clit before you become too sensitive. You gently remove your fingers, feeling a wet trail connecting your fingers to your pussy, you wipe your fingers off on the inside of your thigh, deciding you’ll shower anyway before starting the day. Your orgasm was good, but nowhere near as satisfying as the one Jessie had been able to pull from you. You desperately wanted to feel that again.

You stay laying down in bed, catching your breath only to be brought completely out of your fantasy as your phone begins to ring on the nightstand next to you. Rolling your eyes at the irony, it’s Jessie’s face and name staring back at you.

“What’s up?” You answer overthinking how you usually would answer the phone when she called.

“Are you alright?” She questions you.

“Yeah why?”

“You sound out of breath, what are you doing?”

“Um,” you think for a second, it’s not like you could tell her you had just finished masturbating to the thought of her, “ I’m working out.”

“In your apartment?” You cursed yourself for giving her your location.

“Yeah.” The line goes quiet for a second.

“Oh gross, did you just finish having sex with him?! Is that why you’re out of breath? I thought you ended it.” Jessie whispers into the phone, thinking your ex-boyfriend was potentially laying next to you within earshot.

“I am, I did. I did end it.”

“Are you already fucking someone else?” You note a twinge of jealousy in her voice.

“Oh my god Jessie, no there’s no one else here.”

“Oh a little solo action then?” You can practically hear the teasing look on her face, how both of her eyebrows would be raised, her lips in a small smirk. When you don’t respond immediately she lets out a small laugh and in a mixture of embarrassment and annoyance floods your body. You hate that she figured it out, you also hated that she had laughed. You impulsively press the red button, hanging up on her before tossing your phone to the side and letting out a frustrated groan.

You realize that maybe you should’ve kept lying, hanging up just gave Jessie the confirmation that she had called you while you were touching yourself.

Looking down you’re still naked, your fingers and thigh still slightly covered in your own slick. The embarrassment and slight shame came creeping back in and you quickly grabbed the sheet covering yourself up. You feel the phone vibrate reaching over to look at what she had sent.

Jessie 🦖: When you’re done thinking of how good I fucked you, wash your hands and then call me back.

You: You wish I was thinking of you.

You do as she says and pull yourself from the bed and go into the bathroom to wipe off the remaining arousal between your legs and wash your hands. You throw on a clean pair of panties and grab a pair of sweatpants from your closet. Picking up your phone you click her contact to redial her.

“That was quick.”

“I was already done when you called me.”

“Then why’d you hang up?”

“I don’t know, I just did.” You knew why you hung up, you just weren’t interested in admitting it to her.

“What are you doing right now, besides dreaming of me?”

“Holy shit if I knew you and your ego were going to be insufferable afterwards, I would’ve kept my legs shut.” Her ego had always been big around her talents in bed, it was just more annoying now that you knew they were as good as she had claimed and that she could directly tease you about it.

“Okay but seriously what are you doing? Can we go get coffee before class?” You both had a chemistry class at 11, you would always walk together and frequently would stop at a coffee shop before. Jessie claimed it was the only thing that kept her awake during the lecture.

“Yeah, I can meet you in like 30 minutes. I need to shower.”

“Okay well I’m already on my way to yours I’ll be there in five.”

“Alright see you then.” You hopped back out of bed, moving back into your bathroom, stripping and turning on the shower.

Turning off the water you reached for your towel wrapping it around yourself and then headed back into your bedroom. Even though you knew she was coming over it startled you to see Jessie sitting on your bed on her phone. She’s wearing a tight white t-shirt, the sleeves of the shirt sitting tightly against her bicep, her legs covered by a pair of gray wash jeans. She raises her head toward you hearing the bathroom door open. You didn’t miss how her eyes moved up and down your body as if she was checking you out.

“Hi.”

“Hey, just give me like 15 minutes and then we can head out.” You tell her, expecting her to get up and move to the living room to let you finish getting ready. Except she doesn’t move, she remains in place on your bed.

“Get out so I can get ready.” Realizing she wasn’t taking the hint you decide to be blunt with her.

“Oh come on, nothing I haven’t seen, or touched, before” She rolls her eyes at you but respecting your wishes she pushes herself off the bed, giving you one last look up and down before she walks out.

Trying your best to ignore the fact that she seemed to be checking you out, you drop your towel and throw on a pair of jeans and a black crewneck. Not wanting to bother with your hair you leave it as is and walk out to the living room. Jessie stands up moving toward the door to put on her shoes, you follow doing the same, grabbing your backpack and keys before you both head out the door.

The trip to the coffee shop felt normal, you were almost able to forget that the girl sitting across from you had made your legs shake around her head. You sat and complained to each other about school, discussed plans for the weekend, what you planned to cook for dinner that week, pointless conversations, but it was easy. It was like it had always been and that felt like a relief to you for once. Jessie did her typical attempt to try and get you to miss class, asking a ton of questions right before you had to leave the coffee shop in hopes of distracting you enough you’d forget you both had to go, and as always it failed as you looked at your watch and stood up to leave.

Lecture was boring today, it usually was on the more mundane side but today your professor had put on a documentary. He said he wanted to give everyone’s mind a break from reading lecture slides and while you were grateful that you didn’t have to be taking notes, you would’ve preferred to just stay home and watch the documentary on the couch instead of in uncomfortable lecture hall seating. Today was also a day you might have preferred the lecture, it would’ve kept your mind occupied instead of letting it wander, thinking again of the inappropriate acts committed between you and the girl sitting to your left.

The more you think about her the more restless in your seat you get. Feeling unusually bold you pulled a piece of paper from your notebook and grabbed a pen.

You scribbled out the words, ‘You weren’t wrong earlier’ and slid the piece of paper over to Jessie.

You watch from the corner of your eye as she reads it and turns to you, confusion written on her face. You turn to her but don’t do anything besides look back at her. When you don’t give her any clarification she grabs the pen from your hand and writes back, sliding the paper over.

‘What does that mean?’ For a second you debate writing ‘never mind’, backing out, but you figure fuck it why not you still had another half an hour of class to go, might as well make it entertaining for yourself.

‘When you said I was thinking of you’ you passed back the paper and pen.

Jessie reads it and writes again, ‘what?’ You have to hold back a laugh, for as big of a game as Jessie talked, the poor girl was oblivious sometimes.

‘I was thinking of you this morning’ you wrote before crossing it out, you may as well be more direct since Jessie wasn’t picking up any context clues. ‘This morning when I was touching myself, I was thinking about you.’

You take a deep breath and slide the paper over to her. The second you feel her start to grab the paper, the butterflies start in your stomach. You don’t turn to see her reaction this time, you stare forward at the screen, acting as if you were fascinated by what was being shown. In your peripheral vision you see her read the note and her head snaps in your direction. She’s staring into the side of your head, refusing to give in, you keep your eyes locked on the movie. She leans forward trying to get you to look at her, you refuse again turning your head away from her slightly. You feel a sharp pain in your shin, now you turn toward her as Jessie has resorted to kicking you to get your attention.

She points to the paper where your confession was written. You look down at the paper then back up to her. Her expression is hard to read, she looks confused but also has a smug look on her face, she raises her eyebrows and gives a small shake of her head, you can tell she wants you to explain yourself. You just shrug at her instead, you’re thankful the lights are dimmed or she’d be able to see the blush on your cheeks.

She grabs the pen and writes quickly, shoving the paper back in your direction. ‘Tell me what I was doing in your fantasy’ You're shocked by her request, not expecting her to ask for the details. You hesitate, feeling shy about fully exposing your dirty thoughts to her.

‘You were on top of me, playing with my nipples, eating me out, using your fingers on me’ you passed back the paper. Jessie reads it and you watch as she adjusts in her seat, looking a little restless herself. She begins writing.

‘Anything else?’ It’s like she knew you were holding back some of the details from her.

Jessie had numerous times before told you about her nights with other girls, she’d talk about the toys she had, the handcuffs, the blindfold, the vibrator, and you wouldn’t mind using those, but what crept into your fantasy that morning was the idea of her fucking you with a strap-on.. You’d heard her gloat before about how good she was with it, the idea was never something you had thought about but this morning when you were picturing her on top of you, your own fingers inside your pussy, you wished it was her thrusting into you with the toy instead of your fingers.

‘I might’ve thought about you using toys.’ Crossing out the word toys you change it to read ‘I might’ve thought about you using your strap’ You couldn’t believe you were sitting in your lecture hall writing these things on a simple piece of notebook paper, surrounded by a hundred other students.

Jessie starts to write back as the lights in the lecture hall are suddenly clicked back on to full strength. Being too caught up in your note passing both of you had failed to see the credits on the documentary start rolling across the screen.

You look at Jessie, you now see that she’s sporting a matching blush, she's looking right back at you, hand still holding the pen that was writing. Breaking the eye contact you look to see what she had written ‘I can make that happen, I just bought a new one that we’

Looking back up she’s still looking at you. You’re unsure of what to say, nerves coming back stronger now that the lights were on, you felt more exposed. Thankfully Jessie breaks the silence.

“So, back to my place?” Her eyes look you up and down again as she had earlier back at your apartment.

You nod rapidly at her, grabbing the pen from her hand and throwing it into your bag along with your notebook, you zip up the pockets. “Yes.”

Jessie is already standing waiting for you as you pack up, you watch as she takes the note and folds it carefully sticking it into her back pocket. You stand up, following her out of the auditorium. Neither of you say anything on the walk back to her place, you’re thankful she doesn’t live far.

Once you’re both through the door you take off your backpacks, tossing them to the side, the second yours leaves your hand Jessie is pressing you against the wall. Her hands are holding your waist tightly, her hips pressing firmly into yours, her face just millimeters from yours.

“Are you sure?” The same words she had used before she fucked you last time come from her lips.

“Please.” You beg her, you had been so needy for her you didn’t care you were begging, if you needed to beg to get her to fuck you that’s what you’d do. You grab the back of her neck and pull her in. Not wasting any time with soft kisses, your tongue is already moving against hers.

You continue to make out, loving the feeling of her pinning you to the door. Jessie’s teeth close around your bottom lip as she pulls away, biting it gently before releasing it with a pop. Your hands move to the bottom of her shirt and for once it’s you asking if you can undress her instead. She gives you the okay and you pull her shirt up and over her head, you toss it and it lands on top of your backpack. You take a second to admire her figure, she was an athlete and worked out often but you had never taken the time to appreciate the muscles of her shoulders, arms, and abdomen.

While you’re admiring her, Jessie’s hands reach for the bottom of your crewneck, pulling it up, you lift your arms helping her remove it.

“No bra?” Jessie’s eyes are wide as she had been expecting you to have a bra still covering your chest. You looked down, you had briefly forgotten that you decided against wearing a bra this morning, the thick crew neck provided you enough coverage. Jessie’s hands come up, grabbing your chest with a squeeze before dropping her head to place her lips around your nipple. She sucks, much rougher than she had the first time, you throw your head back accidentally slamming it into the door. Hearing the sound of you smacking your head Jessie releases the suction on your nipple and looks up at you.

“You alright?”

“Yeah it just felt good.” You clarify “your mouth, not hitting my head.”

“I figured.” She doesn’t put her mouth back where you desperately want it, instead her hands are wrapping around you grasping onto your thighs just below your ass.

“Jump.” She says to you and you do, she picks you up, wrapping your legs around her torso she begins to move you away from the door. She walks you back to her bedroom, attaching her lips to your neck as you move through the hallway. You feel her start to suck, you were normally one to protest anyone leaving marks on you but her warm tongue and lips felt so good you moaned instead of telling her off.

Bending down she places your back onto her bed, her lips continue to trail across your neck, a mix of gentle sucking, licking, and kissing has you arching your back into her touch. Her hands move from your thighs up to your ass giving it a hard squeeze.

“Jessie just fuck me already”

“I’m getting there, have some patience.” She scolds you for being so impatient. “Take your pants off, leave your panties on, I’ll be right back.”

She pulls herself off of you, moving over to a drawer in her dresser. You watch as she pulls out a dildo, a harness, and a bottle of lube. She messes around with the harness for a minute, attaching the dildo to it. Remembering what she asked, your hands move to the button of your jeans, you unbutton and start to remove them as Jessie turns back to you, harness in hand. She makes her way back over placing the harness and lube onto the bed. Her hands come to grip your inner thighs she spreads your legs, eyes staring at your core where the obvious wet spot was showing through your light gray boyshorts.

“Fuck you’re already so wet.”

“I know, I’ve been like this everyday since you fucked me.”

“Jesus.” Her tongue runs across her lips, pulling the bottom one in between her teeth.

Her hands come up to the elastic on your underwear, her fingers curling around and starting to pull down showing how wet you truly were. Once she removed your panties from around your ankles her hands came back up to your inner thigh, she spread them further this time, fully exposing your dripping core to her. Instead of moving to put on the harness like you expected, she moved to lay down, her face settled between your thighs. You grabbed the hair on top of her head, sitting up slightly, your hand holding her in place not letting her mouth reach you.

“What are you doing?” You asked. She looked up at you.

“I’m eating you out?” She phrased it as if she was questioning what she was doing. Her eyes looked from your face down to your pussy and back up.

“I thought we were using the strap.” You used the hand not holding her hair to point to where it sat on the bed.

“We are” she reassures you. “I’m still going to warm you up. It’s not going to feel good if I just shove it in.”

“Oh,” Now you feel silly for questioning what she was doing.

“Lay back down.” You do as she says, relaxing back against the pillows. You’re engulfed in the smell of her, her pillows and sheets covered in her scent. You loosen your grip on her head, letting her lips make contact with you. She starts by just kissing across you, moving from the inside of one thigh, across to the other, keeping the pressure light as she would place her lips on your clit.

You let her tease you, not wanting to question her actions anymore. She continued with the soft kisses passing back and forth across your core until you felt her tongue dip between your folds unexpectedly. You let out a soft moan as her tongue drags from your entrance up to your clit. She moves her lips to surround it, sucking gently and using her tongue to trace circles around the sensitive bud.

“Oh fuck Jess.” You had thought about moaning her name in your fantasies, may as well turn them into a reality. This time you watch her reaction to you moaning her name, she rolls her eyes back and lets out a groan against your heat. Her tongue continues pleasuring you, so much better than your fingers had that morning. Nothing felt as good as her tongue. It wasn’t long before your legs were shaking and your grip on her hair became so tight your fingers were starting to hurt. A string of moans mixed in with Jessie’s name falls from your mouth, she continues sucking, working you through your orgasm before you push her off.

She sits up, using her thumb to clear her chin, the same way she did before, sucking your wetness off her finger. She leans over you, bringing her lips to yours. Being able to taste yourself on her lips had you ready for round two.

“See how good you taste?” Jessie breathes as she pulls away from the kiss. She’s hovering over you, her breathing is heavy, her eyes dark, the way she had you caged to the bed was incredibly dominant but made you feel so safe. You just nod your head at her question.

“So fucking good.” Jessie says quietly, more to herself than to you, as she moves off of you. She stands next to the bed, bending over and kissing you quickly before her hands move to her jeans. She undoes them and they slide down her thighs, leaving her standing in a light blue pair of tight boxers. You swear you can see a wet spot between her legs, a slightly darker blue. Before you can confirm, she reaches for the harness, bending down to put her feet through it, pulling it up to rest around her hips.

“Um, do you want me to put a condom on it?” When you look at her like she’s crazy for asking she explains.

“It’s clean, I always clean them, I just usually offer with different partners if they’re more comfortable, but this one is also brand new so… up to you.” For once, she’s the one who looks flustered and new to this, it’s a nice change, reminding you that it’s still just Jessie, your friend, who, while often a smooth talker, can also be a complete dork.

“No I’m good without it.”

Your stomach fluttered with anticipation as she climbed back on the bed. You couldn’t help but stare at the toy. It was realistically shaped, clear in color, it was thick and relatively long but nothing unrealistic. You were thankful Jessie had picked reasonably, not choosing to get the largest cock she could find.

She found herself settled between your thighs again, she reached over grabbing the small bottle of lube opening it and dripping some onto the head of the toy.

“You’re probably wet enough but better safe than sorry right?” She gives you a shy smile seeing you were watching her hand spread the lube down the shaft. Once she’s done she wipes the extra on the back of her thigh and shifts closer to you. One hand grasps the strap by the base, the other supporting her body weight next to you.

She moved the head of the strap between your folds, collecting some of your own wetness on the tip. She repeats the action a few times before stopping with the tip sitting against your entrance. You feel her begin to push it slowly, letting you adjust to the familiar and yet completely different feeling of her entering you. You watch as her eyes bounce between where she was inside of you and up to your eyes and face, checking your facial expressions with every movement.

She moves her hand from her strap, no longer needing the guidance, she grabs your thigh, pulling it up and around her waist. You get the hint bringing both of your legs to wrap about her back, allowing her to move to be on top of you instead of sitting up. She fully pushes into you until her hips flush with yours. You let out a shaky breath, not even realizing you had been holding it in. You had done this before with men but the girth of Jessie’s cock was stretching you in a new way.

“Are you okay?” Noticing the change in your breathing, Jessie checks making sure you’re comfortable.

“Yeah just give me a second. You’re well endowed compared to my previous partners.” You wink at her. Jessie stays where she is, not moving her hips, holding herself above you. She kisses you and you can’t help but think about how intimate this feels, it spreads a warm tingle throughout your body. She’s patient, not nagging asking if you’re ready yet, not rolling her eyes waiting, not thrusting just to see your reaction, all things your previous partners had done. She just waits, occupying herself with trailing kissing down your neck and across your collarbones.

“You can move.” After what felt like an hour but was probably only a minute or two, the stretching feeling subsides and now just a dull ache of need remains.

Jessie picks up her head from where she was leaving hickeys on your chest, hovering above you again. She slowly moves her hips back before pushing back in. She gives a few more test thrusts, not wanting to rush and hurt you.

You see her eyes studying your face and wanting to give her the confidence that she wasn’t going to hurt you, you pull her in by the neck like you're going to kiss her, only turning your head away and putting your lips to her ear.

“Fuck me like you mean it Jessie.” You softly say into her ear, gently biting in an attempt to get her riled up.

Your words and actions work as Jessie drops to her forearms from her hands, dipping her head into the space between your head and shoulder. She curses into your skin before attaching her lips to your neck. Her hips begin thrusting fast and hard against yours, the sound of skin slapping echoing in the room. The change in pace is just what you needed. Feeling her pull nearly all the way out before slamming back into you filling you back up. Every time her hips meet yours the strap bumps against your clit giving you even more pleasure.

With each thrust into you, a different noise leaves your mouth it's a mix of groans, moans, whimpers, along with curses and cries of her name. Your arms are wrapped around her, nails gently scratching at her back. Jessie is also moaning, her face right next yours meaning you heard every noise she made even if she tried to hide it.

You feel the build up, this time is different, coming from a place that feels deeper in your stomach.

“I’m going to cum.” You manage to get out between all the other noises you were making.

“Me too” you’re surprised to hear Jessie admit. Your surprise doesn’t last long as your mind goes blank as your orgasm crashes down. All you can think of is how good she feels inside of you. You feel yourself clenching tightly around Jessie’s cock as she continues to thrust quickly into you. Your legs shaking again, feeling tired wrapped around Jessie.

She gives one last hard thrust before she moans your name into your neck, something she hadn’t done before. Hearing your name fall from her lips was new and incredibly attractive. Jessie kept her cock fully inside of you grinding her hips against yours, giving her the stimulation she needed to work through her orgasm. Her grinding got progressively slower until she came to a stop. Nothing filled the previously loud bedroom but the sound of you both breathing heavily.

Jessie pressed herself up onto her hands, you feel as the sweat you both had worked up causes your skin to stick briefly. She leaves her hips against yours. Her cheeks are red and you’re sure yours are too. She’s smiling down at you, her shoulders moving up and down with every breath. You reach up with one hand, pushing her baby hairs back and out of her face.

“You alright?” It was your turn to ask her for once.

“I’m so good, that’s never happened before. Are you good?” The smile on her face doesn’t leave.

“What hasn’t happened before?” You ignore her asking if you’re good, more concerned about what she meant.

“I’ve never cum from using the strap on someone. Like it turns me on but then I usually have to use a vibrator or need something else, that just happened.” She shakes her head in disbelief of what had just occurred.

“Must be the new strap.” You said looking up at her.

“Or it’s you.” She quickly responds. She looks down to where the two of you are still connected. Your eyes follow her. “Are you good with me pulling out?”

“Yeah go ahead.” You try to relax, your pussy still tight around her. A small noise slips out of your mouth as she pulls back slowly. Once she’s fully out you feel yourself clench around nothing, missing the feeling of her inside of you. Jessie slides off the bed and moves into her bathroom. You hear the water run for a second. She comes back a few seconds later with a washcloth in hand. She holds it out almost as if she’s going to give it to you but doesn’t fully extend her arm.

“Are you good if I clean you up? The lube can be pretty sticky. Or you can do it yourself if you’re more comfortable.”

“Yeah that’s fine Jess.” You let your legs fall back open and she uses the washcloth to wipe you down, her movements are extra gentle as you shift away from her unintentionally when she grazes over your clit, still sensitive from your two orgasms.

“Sorry.” She apologizes. She wipes the inside of your thighs last before she turns her attention to the mess between her own legs. She loosens the straps of the harness, letting it fall to the floor. She reaches for the waistband of her boxers before pausing and looking at you. You can tell she seems hesitant to take them off under your watch.

“I won’t look, I promise.” You turn away slightly, looking at the ceiling. You can hear her moving around. A minute later you feel the bed dip beside you. She pulls the blanket up covering herself and then covering you as well. You roll over to face her, keeping your eyes even with hers, the blanket was covering her but still not wanting to make her uncomfortable.

You shift closer to her. Not close enough that you can touch her, not wanting to make her uncomfortable, but close enough that you can feel the heat radiating off her skin. Not saying anything, she grabs your hand pulling you toward her, she drapes your arm across her waist, your head coming to rest on her chest as her arm wraps over your shoulder, her fingers gently scratching on your back. You let out a sigh and feel her do the same. You didn’t know what this meant for you and her but just being here, your head on her chest, listening to her heartbeat, felt like everything you’d ever need.

[naughtyneganjdm]

Love's Second Chance: A Holiday Reunion - Chapter 12

Summary: A lot weighs heavy on Joel's mind making him unable to sleep. Roaming around the apartment, he talks to Y/N and they open up to one another with Negan overhearing their discussion. What Negan suggests to help both of them feel better surprises them.

Characters: Joel Miller, the reader (OC) & Negan Smith

AO3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/60501985/chapters/156209020

Warnings: 18+, swearing, angst, smut, this chapter is pure filth, SPOILERS AHEAD DO NOT READ IF YOU DO NOT WANT TO BE SPOILED. MMF Threesome, two men kissing, heavy touching between two men, dirty talking, unprotected ps in v, etc.

Notes: This is a longer chapter. It's filthy. It explores parts of all three of the main characters. Literally. So yeah, enjoy!

Sleeping was once again damn near impossible for Joel. Making it back to the apartment, you would have thought he would have been exhausted. Physically? He was. Mentally? He couldn’t shut his brain the fuck down. All he kept thinking about was his past. The pain and negative thoughts. About his mistakes and all the things he had done wrong.

Earlier he checked in on the children and came downstairs to sit by the large glass panel windows. He didn’t know how long ago he had pulled up a chair and just sat there staring out at the city lights. Everything seemed so small down below. It made him think about his dreams when he was a kid. All he knew was that he was counting on either football or his musical career to lead him. Instead, life fell to shit.

Back when he was younger, this was the kind of life he dreamt of. Feeling special. Having a big home that only people could dream of having and being able to go anywhere he wanted in the world without worrying about money.

“Can’t sleep?” a voice beckoned him to look back over his shoulder. Standing behind him was Y/N who looked like she had just woken up. Her eyes appeared tired while she stood before him in her red plaid pajama pants and a white tank top. Shaking his head, Joel pushed his seat back and turned in it to stare out at her. “You stole my look.”

“Kind of,” Joel sighed looking down at what he was wearing. Instead of having red plaid, his pajamas were plaid green and he also had the white tank top on. “Did I wake you up?”

“Well you were being incredibly loud,” she joked, reaching for a chair to pull it up beside Joel. Keeping it close, she lowered down into the seat and yawned. “I woke up and I just couldn’t fall back asleep. No matter how much I tried.”

“I have that problem lately a lot too,” Joel explained, sitting forward in the chair to get closer to the glass to look down at the people below. By this time of night he could hardly make out anything down there. There was a faint glow from stray lights that illuminated the street, but just barely. “My brain just wants to torture me with all my thoughts.”

“You wanna talk about it?” she offered, her eyes staring out at him which he saw from the corner of his. Instead of looking at her, he lowered his head and exhaled loudly. “I’m always here if you need to talk. You know that.”

“It’s hard to talk to you,” Joel confessed, reaching up to stroke over the back of his neck. Half of his woes, if not more were all in relation to her and he didn’t think it was fair throwing that all on her again. “You know how I feel about you.”

“That’s what this is about?” she spoke softly, not showing any signs of being angry with him over it.

“Some of it,” he was honest, shaking his head about and leaning back in the chair to keep his eyes on the city. “For some reason, I keep thinking about everything I did wrong. What led us to…this.”

“This right here?” she threw her finger up to circle it as if suggesting the apartment they were in.

“No,” Joel smirked, shaking his head about. “I mean how the two of us are. With me alone. And you with Negan,” Joel lowered his voice not wanting to wake anyone else up to hear what they were talking about. “I had to work really hard to push you away like I did.”

“Joel…” she said his name, dragging it out. Stopping to think about what she wanted to say, she shifted in the seat and licked her lips. “I uh…I wish I knew what I could say to make you feel better. The last thing I want is you feeling miserable.”

“It’s not your responsibility to make me feel better,” Joel retorted with a weak smile, his dark eyes finally looking over at her. In the small amount of light, they could see each other but not much more than that. “It never was.”

A shuddering breath escaped her lips with Joel’s eyes tearing over and he shrugged, “I never realized everything you did to make sure that I was okay. Constantly. You were always there doing your best to make me happy. But that was never your job Y/N. You were supposed to be my partner in life. You weren’t supposed to lift me up. My emotions aren’t your responsibility. They never were.”

Hearing that from Joel left her speechless. That was never something Joel had ever said to her, so she didn’t know how to respond. Folding his arms in front of his chest, Joel stretched his legs out further and went back to looking at the city.

“Do you know how many times I dreamt of a life like this?” Joel spoke almost regrettably when he thought back on his past. “I wanted to be rich so bad. To have power. Have people look at me like I was something special. I would have killed for this kind of life.”

“I think everyone dreams of a life like this,” she mused, rubbing her hands in over her knees. “I know I thought about it too. I thought I was going to be a big name. Someone everyone knew the name of. I was going to travel and show what the world was really like. The good, the bad. I wanted to live in the city…”

A smile tugged at her tired features and she stood up from the chair to look out at the city, “I never dreamt of a place this big. But a flat in the city? God, that would have been amazing. Maybe having my studio workshop area inside of my apartment? That was it for me.”

“I really thought I was going to be something, y’know?” Joel snorted, shaking his head. Back when he was in high school he really did believe that he was going to make it big. It wasn’t even a question in his mind. He was that fucking sure of himself. “I was so arrogant. I thought I was better than most people. I was stubborn and I knew that if anyone could achieve something, it was me. I was gonna ride the football career as much as I could, use my connections to get me into the music business.”

“You were good enough,” she corrected Joel who rolled his eyes. Hearing him talk down about his talents was nothing something she was going to allow him to do. “You were.”

“I wasn’t,” Joel chuckled, his head shaking in disbelief. “Football maybe could have gotten me all the way through college. But I don’t think I could have made it to the big leagues. My arm was good, but it wasn’t that good.”

“Well now that’s just bullshit,” she claimed, reaching up to smack at Joel’s chest with the back of her hand. “I know for a fact that your arm was amazing. Think about all the scouts that came out just for you. They all wanted you. I think a lot of them told you that you probably didn’t even have to stay in school that long because you were that good.”

“You’d say anything to make me feel better,” Joel suggested with a long exhale. That was just the kind of person that she was.

“Why would I need to lie about things Joel?” she inquired, a sense of curiosity flooding her body. Sure, she could lie, but right now she was just going off of facts. When they were young, everyone thought Joel was going to be a big name. “What do I gain from lying to you right now?”

“You get to be on my good side?” Joel joked, a wicked smirk tugging at his features. Looking over at her, his right eyebrow arched and it made her smile. “Lord knows you don’t want to get on my bad side.”

“I’ve been there and I’m still here,” she reminded him, grabbing a firm hold of his shoulder to give it a squeeze.

“You shouldn’t have had to see that side of me,” Joel frowned, reaching up to place his hand in over hers. Squeezing it firmly, Joel took his time to think about everything he put her through. “I never wanted you to see the darkest parts of me. You were the light in my life that brought me joy. The fact that I ever let it get that bad…”

“It’s the past,” she interrupted him, not wanting to have him get upset, but it was really too late for that.

“But it effected the future,” Joel admitted, urging her to lower her hand. Pushing forward in the seat, Joel rest his elbows over his knees and shook his head. “I didn’t mean to have all this anger grow inside of me. I knew I was capable of being awful. It was there my whole life. And when my parents died…I did what I thought was right. I put Tommy first. And then when you got pregnant, I put you and Elizabeth first too. I did the right thing. There shouldn’t have been any anger inside of me for doing what was right.”

“I think it’s alright to be disappointed,” she tried to give him an excuse and Joel scoffed, standing up from the chair and moving in beside her to stand in front of the window. “I think anyone in your position would have felt the same.”

“No they wouldn’t,” Joel denied, his hands settling at his hips while he rocked back and forth on his feet. “I could have been facing this all alone. But I wasn’t. I had you. You never left my side. Not once. I had a family that loved me. I was lucky. Some people have this kind of shit happen and they have to take on the world alone. Without help. But not me. I had a support system. I had someone who loved me. Someone who saw the best in me even when I didn’t see the best in myself…”

It looked like she wanted to say something, but instead she just lowered her head making Joel’s chest hurt at the sight of it, “I’m sorry. You were always my strength and I let you down. I let everyone down.”

“No you didn’t,” she refused to hear that, turning to face Joel from where she was standing. “I think your parents would be very proud of the man that you became.”

“I was even mad at them for dying Y/N,” Joel informed her with a disgusted shake of his head. “I was so angry at them for dying and forcing me to live the life that I did. I mean, you’d think I’d be mad at them for all the shit before in being parents that were never very present in my life in the first place. But no. I was mad at them for leaving me to take care of everything without them.”

“It was a traumatic thing for an eighteen year old boy to go through,” she defended his actions once more and it had Joel shaking his head. “You had the world in your hands and it was taken from you.”

“No it wasn’t,” Joel corrected her, a broken breath falling from his lips when he looked to her. “I had the world in my hands with you, Ellie and Peter. I just never saw it because I thought the world was this big shiny idea of something more.”

Really he should have just shut up and kept his thoughts to himself. He knew that this kind of talk upset her. Especially since she loved him so much in the past and he did what he had.

“I’m sorry that I let you down,” Joel apologized, a lump growing in his throat. “I wish that right now I could say that I was proud of my life, the things that I’ve done, but I’m not. The only thing I have that I was ever proud of was you and those children. Other than that? I’m a nothing.”

“You shouldn’t be thinking like that,” she stressed doing her best to keep her emotions to herself. “You don’t have to keep apologizing to me.”

“Yes, I do,” Joel groaned, his head dropping down with the tension he was feeling. “It’s annoying because all these voices I hear in my head tell me what a mistake I made. I know nothing will fix what I’ve done. More than anything, I’m angry at myself for my actions. I wish I could say that I made your life better, but I’m an overall disappointment.”

“You’re not,” she assured him, lifting her hand to try to get him to hush his thoughts. “You can’t feed your mind with that shit.”

God, he wanted to say so much to her to fix things, but he knew that no matter what he said they never would be right. There was nothing he could do in order to make up for the decisions he made. Because he let all of the good fall to shit. That was his own fault.

“You deserved this kind of life Joel,” she expressed how she felt, throwing her hand out toward the city. “Both you and Negan were so dedicated to your skills. I wanted the best for both of you. I always did. You both were the two people who deserved this kind of future more than anyone.”

“We both deserved this kind of life,” Joel proposed brushing his fingers through his messy hair. “And we could have done it if I wasn’t such a fucking dick. Instead I was lazy, angry and so depressed about the life I couldn’t have. Maybe if I would have actually tried instead of being bitter about everything, I could have achieved things. Instead we’re here and I made you miserable for years by being…a dick.”

“You two talk like you’re at the end of your life,” a voice spoke up causing both of them to jump. Looking back, Joel reached out for the light that was beside him to turn it on. Behind them was Negan sitting on the couch with his arms stretched out on the back of it bringing attention to his naked chest. Standing up, Negan adjusted the waistband of his gray sweatpants and shrugged his shoulders. “Why do you think your dreams are impossible? You’re not dead.”

“It’s more complicated than that Negan,” Joel grunted wondering how long Negan had been sitting there. How the hell did they not hear him come into the room with the two of them talking? It offended him that Negan had just sat there listening to them to begin with.

“How?” Negan lowered down onto the arm of the couch and waved his hand about in the air. “You’re only nearing forty Joel. You haven’t even reach the middle of your life,” Negan stressed his words, his eyes looking between both Y/N and Joel. There was a seriousness behind the intensity of his hazel eyes. “There is still so much time to do so much more, but it’s like you’ve both given up at the idea of it.”

“No one wants an almost forty year old man to play football for them Negan. That’s an end of a career, not the start of one. Plus, I haven’t thrown a football in years,” Joel declared with a scoff having Negan smile and shake his head dramatically. Brushing his fingers through his messy hair, Negan exhaled loudly and tossed his hands up.

“Yeah, football is out of the question. That’s not what I mean,” Negan agreed with Joel, tapping on his thighs to consider what he wanted to say next. “But that doesn’t mean you have to give up your musical career. Start playing again. Play the guitar. Get out to a local bar. Sing. Get your music out there. Even if you start small, it’s you getting to live the life that you wanted. You can be ninety and still play music Joel. You’ve got your hands. You’ve got your voice. You have the musical talent. Life is what you fucking make of it. You’re not dead.”

“I don’t know if you noticed, but I have a hard time playing in front of people,” Joel reminded Negan of how he was which had Negan roll his eyes. “Not all of us are outgoing, charismatic folks that people are just drawn to.”

“I’m very introverted,” Negan corrected Joel with a shake of his head. “I just fake it. All the time. Do you think I always feel like smiling? I put on a show because it’s better than letting my thoughts, my emotions…my stress get to me. I’m a showman through and through, but that doesn’t mean I don’t feel strange when the world is fucking eyeballing me.”

Both Joel and Y/N went silent at Negan’s confession. That was never really something that either one of them considered.

“Listening to the both of you is hard. You can play music until the day you die Joel Miller. And Y/N, you can take photos and write just the same. You both think that I’ve made this perfect life for myself,” Negan began, his hand placing in over the center of his naked chest. “I’m nearing forty and my career is over. I put everything into my body. My body is the only thing that I can use in my life. And I’m broken. My knee is a fucking mess. After this next season? I don’t know what direction my life is fucking going in and that scares me. That scares me so much. But both of you? You don’t see the potential that you have. Your dreams? They are all achievable. Talking like there are no other options in life is sad because I’ve never seen two people with so much fucking potential in their life and it’s like you both gave up.”

“Fuck,” Joel grumbled under his breath, his chest aching at the lecture that they both just received from Negan.

“Negan,” Y/N frowned noticing that Negan appeared to be somewhat emotional himself, but he was hiding it behind a strong façade.

“Hey, let’s not make this about me. I just wanted to make a point,” Negan slurred realizing that both of them had a hard time looking at him after what he reminded them. “Joel, I haven’t heard you play your music in a very long time, but after tonight? I know you still have music in your heart. It made you happy. I’m sure you still play great.”

“He’s right. There is nothing to be ashamed of in terms of your music. You’re good,” Y/N added to the conversation with Negan throwing his hand out toward her. “I know what you sound like and I think people would love to learn music from you and hear what you have inside of you.”

“What happened to Joel Miller, the arrogant son of a bitch that I knew when I was younger?” Negan snorted, folding his arms out in front of his chest. “That guy loved having the attention on him. Fuck, he ate it up. He knew he was talented and he didn’t have to question it.”

“Life,” Joel simply answered with a grunt which had Negan rolling his eyes. “I hate the world Negan.”

“You hate yourself,” Negan offered up, his eyes slowly rising up from the ground where he was looking. “I know the feeling all too well. So don’t try to bullshit me. If you love your music, if it means something to you, don’t let it go. Even if you start fucking small, the world isn’t over. You don’t know if you have tomorrow, so start now. Go out. Play your music. Give it a shot. Even if you only make it to small dive bars. Who cares? At least you sort of lived your dream. It’s better than nothing. And now it’s even better because you have a built in support system behind you to lift you up.”

“It’s not that easy,” Joel grunted, resting his hands on his hips in frustration.

“But it fucking is,” Negan shot back, the lines in his forehead growing. “And Y/N, you love taking photos. There isn’t a reason you shouldn’t have that camera in your hands twenty four fucking seven. Take photos. And write. Write about whatever the fuck you want because someone out there is going to want to listen. I promise you. You’re both still so young with so much fucking potential. You just don’t give yourselves a fucking break. And maybe it’s time that you do.”

Smirking, Y/N lowered her head finding what Negan was saying to be inspirational in a sense, but she knew that Joel was upset, “What are you? An inspirational speaker now?”

“Maybe,” Negan’s eyes locked back onto Joel, standing up and moving across the room to step before him. “If people listened to me, well maybe there is a chance that they just might be happy. And that’s a scary fucking thought. Isn’t it?”

“Life came easy to you Negan,” Joel fought back, his eyes narrowing at the idea that Negan thought things in life were that simple.

“It did?” Negan muttered, his jaw flexing in disbelief. “I must have missed that bit because life has been really fucking hard for the most part. I had an abusive father growing up that pretended to be a good dad. I…” Negan paused, his Adam’s apple bouncing in his throat and his words coming to a slow pause. Suddenly the emphasis he had on things died down when he looked between Joel and Y/N again. “I lost touch with my best friends. I got injured doing what I do best. I lost the love of my life and my career is ending because I’m hurt and I could become crippled if I get hurt again. I’m pushing it just going one more season. So does that really sound easy to you?”

Joel’s lips parted, a huff coming out instead of words with Joel lowering his head to look down at the ground in embarrassment with what Negan just threw out in front of Joel, “Where my life succeeded, yours did not. Vice versa. Which is why I say if you want something in life, you gotta go for it. We don’t know when our life is gonna fucking end. So take advantage of it before it’s too late. And work out whatever the hell is going on between the two of you.”

“There’s nothing…” Y/N went to speak up with Negan holding his finger up to silence them. Turning off the light, Negan reached for both of their wrists to tug them over toward the bedroom that he shared with Y/N. Closing the door, Negan turned on the lamp and headed over toward the seat at the corner of the room to drop down. “There is nothing going on between the two of us Negan.”

“She’s with you,” Joel stressed watching Negan reach out to snatch the Santa hat that was on the nightstand. Putting it on, Negan stretched out his long legs and shrugged.

“I know,” Negan nodded, stroking his fingers over the side of his face. “I am not worried about that.”

“Of course you aren’t,” Joel scoffed, shaking his head and heading over toward the dresser to rest his weight back against it. “Why would you be worried?”

“You’re cranky as fuck,” Negan chuckled, his dimples becoming more prominent when an amused smile tugged at his handsome features. “If it’s gonna make the two of you happy, kiss and make up. I don’t give a fuck.”

“We’re together,” Y/N turned on her heel, pointing from her chest to Negan. “I told Joel that. He knows that I want to be with you.”

“I know you do too,” Negan assured her with a nod, caressing down over the side of his neck. “I however told you that I understand that you love Joel. I fucking get it. I loved and still love Lucille. That shit is never gonna change. We can’t help that in life sometimes we love multiple people. And just because we lost them doesn’t mean we don’t care about them. I won’t get mad at you for having feelings for Joel and if the two of you are gonna kiss, I’d really prefer to be around for it.”

“Now you’re just being a prick,” Joel hissed at Negan, his brow line growing more tense and his glare becoming angry. “It’s not funny.”

“Do I look…” Negan paused realizing that he was smiling, “Yes. I’m smiling, but I’m not trying to be funny here. I know that you heard the conversation earlier about her dream and if she wants to, I’m okay with the three of us…you know.”

“Oh fuck. Not again,” Y/N lifted her hand to cover her eyes trying to shake off the feeling she was having. “I’m dreaming again. That makes complete sense here.”

“Nope. Not dreaming,” Negan stood up from the chair he was seated in. Standing between Y/N and Joel, Negan outstretched his hands grabbing both their wrists to pull them closer toward him. “I just think it’s okay for you two to enjoy each other still even if you’re not together. Your brain wanted this. So who am I to turn away this for you?”

“I think maybe you are reading the situation wrong,” she was unsure of where this was headed with Negan’s nose wrinkling in amusement. “I told you about the dream because I don’t want to keep things from you.”

“And I don’t want to keep things from you either,” Negan promised bringing Joel in closer to her. How firmly Negan was holding onto Joel’s wrist had Joel scoffing. “I’m okay with a threesome. If it makes you happy, why not?”

“Aren’t you going to ask if I’m okay with a threesome?” Joel spoke up in a bit of a disapproving tone making Negan chuckle when he looked between the two of them. “Why is that funny?”

“Nothing, you’re just right. You’re the curve ball here. I understand that she has feelings for you. It doesn’t bother me because I know she cares about me too. Deep in her mind, she wants both of us but feels guilty for wanting that,” Negan explained, letting go of her wrist to palm in over the side of her face to get her to look at him. “You have been with Joel and you’ve been with me. You’ve never had a threesome. What’s better than being pampered by two men that are head over heels in love with you?”

Stammering to find words, Y/N didn’t know what to say. Maybe she should have been mad, but instead she found herself laughing when the top of the Santa hat fell over Negan’s eyes. Blowing it out of his face, Negan gave a big cheesy smile and then dragged his tongue out over his bottom lip.

“As long as Joel promises not to fucking kill me when it’s my turn, I think we’re good,” Negan asserted lowering his hand to gently urge Y/N forward toward Joel. “I don’t have a problem with all of this. Joel is the only person I would be okay with.”

“I don’t get your fucking issue Ne…” Joel’s words came to a halt with the pressure of Negan leading Joel down to Y/N to force the two of them to kiss. A gasp vibrated against his lips and Joel pulled back seeing Negan smirking. Shaking his head, Negan’s thumb swept in over her jaw with his fingers curling around her neck to turn her to him. Claiming her lips in a passionate kiss, Negan started to kiss her over and over again. Watching her eyes close with a slow flutter, Joel felt a bout of jealousy flooding his veins. Starting to kiss at her jawline, Joel pressed his body in closer to hers, his hands settling at her hips.

“Holy shit,” Y/N pulled away from the both of them feeling her pulse hammering in her head. “This is just like my dream. The children are upstairs for fuck’s sake.”

“Then we’ll be quiet,” Negan headed over toward the door to lock it for her. “It’s a big apartment. They are all the way across the apartment on the second floor. We’ll hear someone if they come down here.”

“They both had the television on,” Joel explained to Y/N who was surprised to hear Joel defending this. “They aren’t going to hear anything.”

“Thatta boy,” Negan pat Joel on the shoulders and then headed over toward the bed to drop down on the bottom of it. Pulling himself to the edge, Negan braced his weight on his hands and motioned for the two of them to move toward one another. “I like watching. So go ahead.”

“I don’t want to lose you,” Y/N whispered which had an ache growing at the center of Joel’s chest. That was something she was genuinely worried about and she meant it.

“You’re not going to,” Negan promised her, holding out his hand to have her squeeze at it. “I’m here. No matter what happens. I’m not leaving your life. You have me back in your life and that’s not going to change.”

“Are you going to look at me differently?” Y/N turned her head to look at Joel who thought about this whole thing. Being with her in any fashion was good enough for him. It meant that she still cared about him. Still wanted him in her life.

“I could never,” Joel grumbled under his breath knowing that he was going to have to fight his demons here. Especially when she was with Negan. There was a jealousy there, but in this moment he was going to have to figure it out. Get his shit together. There was a lot to consider in the moment. But his first thought was this whole threesome thing. The windows were wide open with no blinds or curtains to hide them. “Do you really want the lights on for this?”

“Fuck yes,” Negan stated with a proud breath. “I want to see everything.”

“You’re in New York City. People know you’re here now. They have to. Photographers with their cameras,” Joel started to ramble having Negan bob his head about. Huffing out, Negan got up from the bed and headed over to the large window side of the room. Pushing his hands into his pants, Negan got the material down to the bottom of his hips along with his boxer briefs. All Joel saw was Negan’s ass, but it was enough for Negan to make a point. Throwing his hands up in the air, Negan wiggled his hips a bit and it had Joel groaning outwardly. “You are still so very much Negan.”

“Yes, I fucking am,” Negan boasted proudly, pulling his pants back up over his hips and turning to face the two of them. Y/N’s face was flushed over with her shaking her head and Joel was staring out at him blankly. “I’m a baseball player. And we are pretty fucking high up. If someone has a lens that fucking good, then good for them. But in the city, there are bigger, better celebrities to go after. No one is going to be taking photos of us at two in the morning having sex. I fucking promise you.”

“How is your dick not all over the internet?” Joel scoffed, pointing down toward Negan’s groin.

“Well, I was married,” Negan reminded Joel, tossing his hand up in the air with a huff. “Pretty sure that Lucille didn’t want a video of us screwing all over the internet. And like I told you, I’m just a fucking baseball player. You want to see their cocks, you walk into the locker room after or before a game. It’s not that hard. You know that. You were on a sports team in high school. You saw a lotta cock.”

“Good God, we are so different,” Joel pointed out to Y/N who now seemed to have amusement with the things that Negan was saying. “How you love the both of us…”

“Is crazy because she’s too good for the both of us, but she does,” Negan interrupted Joel, stepping closer to the both of them. “So why don’t we take advantage of it, enjoy tonight and let this happen? I want this. You both want this. And that’s okay.”

Stepping in behind Y/N, Negan settled his hands at her hips. Nuzzling his nose in against the side of her neck had her tipping her head back against his shoulder. Just the sensation of that alone had her pulse jumping in her throat. Peppering wet kisses over her flesh, Negan bit faintly eliciting a moan from her lips.

Lifting his left hand, Negan reached for Joel tugging him forward by the material of his tank top. Stepping in closer, Joel trapped Y/N between both him and Negan having her breath catch in her throat. The heat from their bodies radiated against hers. It felt good. It had her body trembling. She felt small between the two of them.

Sweeping his fingers in over the side of her face, Joel’s eyelids grew heavy. An innocence lingered in her eyes and features. Reminding Joel of when they were younger and they were together for the first time. Lowering down, Joel brought their lips together in a slow, gentle kiss. This was a lot to get used to all at once. With each caress of his lips, the kiss grew stronger with her breathing getting louder.

“That’s it,” Negan slurred against her flesh, grasping her chin firmly between his fingers to get her to turn her head so it brought their lips together. Even though he was okay with sharing, Negan wanted to make it clear that’s what they were going to be doing. Joel could get some of the attention, but not all of it. Focusing on her bottom lip with wet kisses, Negan used his other palm to caress up in over her abdomen toward her breast. A tremoring exhale had him sucking in a sharp breath of air getting excited at how innocent she seemed in all of this. “If you ever get uncomfortable, just tell us and we will stop.”

Nodding gave both Joel and Negan the permission they needed to continue. Even if things felt fast, she knew that she would never ask them to stop. This was something her mind had been thinking about even in her dreams. An occasion where she could be between the two men that she loved without judgement? It felt too good to turn away.

Dropping her left hand back, she palmed in over the side of Negan’s body while her right traced up over the lengths of Joel’s abdomen toward his chest. Sucking in a sharp breath of air, Joel couldn’t help but notice the desire in Negan’s eyes for the woman that was between them. Reaching his hands around Y/N, Joel squeezed firmly over her bottom. It had her pressing up onto her toes, gasping and falling in closer against his chest. It gave Negan the opportunity to move in behind her, pressing his groin in over her bottom. It had her eyes closing tightly, her lips falling agape. It felt like liquid lava was running through her veins with the room spinning around. Hovering his lips in over hers, Joel loved the way her breathing grew louder with her shaking against him. Pressing faint kisses at her lips, Joel allowed his mouth to trail down over her jawline toward her neck. When he reached her shoulder, Joel lifted his head and locked eyes with Negan.

“You know what?” Negan took one step back, his chest rising and falling heavily. It had Y/N looking back over her shoulder at him, worried what was happening. “Go on. I really would like to watch.”

Trying to avoid the instructions that were being spat at him, Joel curled his arm around Y/N’s waist to pull her flush against him. It had her right arm hooking around his shoulders while her fingers from her left hand sank into his thick, dark hair. Just the way she was looking at him with her pupils dilated drove Joel crazy with want for the woman in his arms.

“Touch her Joel,” Negan spoke moving to grab Joel’s wrist helping him to caress up and over the length of her back before down again. Just from that alone it had her eyes closing tightly once more. “Let’s make this thing as sensual as possible. Not just fucking. We could fuck any time. But this? It means something.”

Bringing their lips together in a slow, unhurried kiss had her clinging tighter to Joel. Stroking his fingers down over the lengths of her back again and then allowing them to drag back up over her shoulders had her whimpering against his mouth. Each kiss he pressed over her lips grew stronger, the passion lighting a fiery want inside the both of them. Beside them, Negan stepped forward his hand pressing in against both of the small of their backs bringing their bodies closer together. Growling against Y/N’s flesh triggered her to pull away just slightly to give a tiny smile. Instead of bitching, Joel listened to Negan. Touching her in the ways that he was instructing him. Wanting this whole thing to indeed be special for Y/N. Stealing kiss after kiss from her had her lips parting to Joel. Brushing his tongue out against hers led her to tip up on her toes, eager to be closer to him. Even though they had been together many times, Joel still loved the way that her body reacted to his.

Stepping in behind Y/N again, Negan’s fingers hooked loosely into the bottom of her tank top having her lean back into him. Tugging up the material, Negan stopped at her lower abdomen, using one of his hands to caress his rough fingertips across it. Nuzzling his nose against the side of her neck, Negan nipped faintly at her skin getting tiny whines to fall from her, “You are so fucking beautiful.”

Y/N’s eyes fluttered to a close. Her breaths becoming more desperate which encouraged Joel to help Negan lift the material up under her breasts. Carefully lowering to his knees, Joel’s mouth covered her lower abdomen. Starting at the area just above her belly button. A sharp exhale escaped her throat when Joel tenderly nipped at her flesh. Trailing his kisses down further led to him pampering her skin at the area right below her navel. Grasping tightly to her hips kept her in place. With Negan’s arm hooked around her mid abdomen and Joel grasping to her hips, she wasn’t going anywhere. They had her where they wanted her. Shivers flooded her body, muted moans following with the way Joel was cherishing her abdomen with the warmth of his kisses and with Negan kissing at the side of her neck. Pushing his hand up enough under her tank top, Negan’s fingers cupped at the swell of her breast.

“Here we go,” Negan stammered, urging her arms up so he could pull the material of her tank top from her body to reveal her breasts with a bounce. Joel’s dark eyes watched the movements, the length of his tongue dragging a line up her body. Tossing the material aside, Negan’s arm wrapped around her upper half pulling her back to him. Dragging his hand across both her breasts, Negan buried his nose against the side of her neck again and growled. “You feel good, right?”

Squeezing her breast in his palm, Negan tested the flesh before circling the pad of his thumb in over her nipple. Repeated circular movements had it turning into a tight bud and it made him release an amused rumble as he pinched softly at it.

“So good,” she purred with Negan now kissing at her jawline. Continuing to caress at her breasts elicited her breathing to become broken.

Humming, Negan started to kiss at the side of her neck and back behind her ear. Joel’s kisses started to rise up over the lengths of her abdomen, his facial hair scratching slightly at her body. Wet caresses of Joel’s mouth pressed between the valley of her breasts. It was hard to focus on one thing from either Joel or Negan. Between them, Y/N felt like the world was spinning around her. Matching Joel’s movements, when Joel came up, Negan’s palm pressed down over her abdomen. Sinking his hand beneath the material of her pajama pants had her hips arching up toward Negan’s touch. Crying out, her breathing became labored with the flick of Joel’s tongue at her nipple in tiny, circular motions. Taking the nipple into his mouth, Joel’s suckled faintly at the flesh before teasing it again with his tongue. Instinctively her body arched forward, her hips wanting to meet the touch of Negan’s hand between her thighs and her upper half wanting to continue to be pampered by Joel.

“Let’s get you down on the bed darlin’,” Negan stammered pulling his hand from her pants having her shuddering back against him. A wet sound escaped Joel’s lips with him tipping his head back, pulling his mouth from her breast. The warmth of his breath still lingered over her skin and she knew that she was already a hot mess from this alone.

Helping to lead her over toward the bed, Negan grabbed a hold of her hand squeezing his fingers around hers. Getting her to the bottom of the bed had the backs of her knees hitting the mattress getting her to lower down with Negan standing before her. Helping to lower her body back against the bed, Negan hooked his arms firmly underneath her knees. Pulling her right to the edge of the bed had her gasping, her eyes locking with his. There was something in the way that he was looking at her that caused her heart to pound inside of her chest. Hooking his fingers into the waistband of her panties and pajama pants, Negan unhurriedly pulled them down her legs. Lifting her hips to help him made Negan smirk, his dimples becoming more prominent when he dropped the material aside. His eyes were drinking her in, while he stood at the bottom of the bed looking over her naked form. Stepping away from the bed, Negan adjusted his gray sweat pants causing her eyes to lower to gaze upon the incredible v line over Negan’s hips. His pants were hanging low, his breathing heavy emphasizing the lines of his body. Just the sight of that alone had her mouth watering.

“Waiting on you Joel,” Negan wiggled his finger, motioning Joel to follow him toward the bed. Laying down beside her on the right, Negan made sure that she was comfortable when his fingertips swept in over the area right below her belly button. Hovering his mouth over hers, Negan snickered when her fingers slid in over the back of his neck and sank into his messy hair. “You are in for a hell of a night.”

Putting one knee on the bed, Joel caught Negan’s attention when Negan stole a kiss from Y/N’s lips. Negan’s hazel eyes watched Joel’s movements as Joel lowered himself down at the left side of Y/N’s body. Drawing circles with his rough fingertips over Y/N’s body, Negan nibbled at her bottom lip. Sucking faintly at the flesh had her whimpering into his mouth.

Bracing himself, Negan leaned in over her body starting to trail kisses from her shoulder toward the center of her chest. Joining Negan, Joel’s palm settled at the inside of her thigh dragging up toward her warmth. Her senses were set ablaze between the both of them. Joel’s brown eyes were hooked on hers drinking her in as she laid between the two of them. Tipping her head back, a quiet moan escaped her parted lips with Negan’s mouth covering her breast. Twisting his tongue around the nipple resulted in her lifting her upper back toward him. Suckling and nipping at the flesh prompted her breath to go broken now with Joel’s hand caressing in over her core.

“Look at me,” Joel ordered in a quiet slur, his eyelids growing heavy with longing. “Do you like being spoiled like this?”

“Yes,” she panted, licking her lips when Joel’s lips claimed hers, kissing her with a hunger that took her breath away. The wet popping sound of Negan’s mouth leaving her breast had her whining, but it was short lasted when he kissed across her chest to the other one to cover her breast with continued heated kisses.

Right now? All Joel could focus on was pleasing her because if he thought deeply about this, there was a chance that he wouldn’t be able to do this.

Circling her clit with his rough fingertips, Joel was slow wanting to build up the pleasure. By the way that she was kissing him, Joel knew that Y/N was doing her best to stay quiet. The sounds she was making and the way she was clinging to him fueled Joel more than he ever expected it to. Putting a stronger pressure over her sensitive bundle of nerves had her hips arching up toward Joel’s caress wanting to meet his touch.

“Good girl,” Negan slurred, his mouth sliding up over the side of her neck to kiss at her jawline. Biting faintly at her chin, Negan got her to turn toward him to bring their lips together in a passionate sweep. Brushing his tongue against hers, Negan felt the bed dipping with Joel adjusting his positioning.

An involuntary whine followed with the loss of contact from Joel’s fingers. Getting on his knees at the bottom of the bed, Joel pushed apart her legs settling himself between her thighs. Squeezing at the fleshy part of her thighs had her tremoring at his touch. As his breath lingered over her sensitive folds, it had her arching up toward him drawing out a hum of approval from Joel’s throat.

“You have always had the prettiest pussy,” Joel whispered, allowing his fingertips to draw a line over the length of her sex. Negan’s large palm was caressing at the swell of her breast, his kisses covering the side of her neck. Lifting her head, she was trying to focus, but her eyelids were growing heavy with the overflow of sensations both of them were causing inside of her. Right now she was a trembling mess beneath the both of them. Licking his lips, Joel’s kisses started at her inner thigh while his finger traced a line down over her sex and back up. Circling her clit and then lowering down again. Purring out, her fingers sank into Negan’s hair at the back of his neck with is mouth taking her breast into it again. Leaving tiny bites at her skin, Joel wet his lips and tipped his head back. Shuffling his body, Joel bent forward dragging the length of his tongue across her entrance.

“Joel,” she cried out, her hips bouncing upward toward the warmth of his mouth. Grasping her face between his thumb and index finger, Negan forced her eyes to meet his and it made him smile. Every muscle in her body was tensing up with the slurping sounds of Joel suckling at her folds. Squirming beneath them, she knew that her natural instinct was to focus on Joel, but Negan wanted to see her reaction to what was happening. Dragging his thumb across her bottom lip elicited a wolfish smile over Negan’s lips.

“You are so fucking beautiful,” Negan growled, lowering down enough to hungrily kiss her. His tongue caressing at hers again and again, showing his dominance in the way that he kissed her.

Gazing up, Joel swallowed down hard at the sight of them kissing. There was so much passion and chemistry between the two of them with the way that they kissed. It had jealousy eating away at him with how visible close they clearly were. Pulling away slowly, Negan suckled faintly at her bottom lip, his eyes slowly lowering to hook with Joel’s.

“Get to it pretty boy,” Negan outstretched his hand, curling his finger underneath Joel’s chin. Getting Joel to tip his head back had Joel sucking in a sharp breath of air. “Y’know what? Nah. Let’s build up the longing. You gave her a taste. Make her beg for it. I think there needs to be a build up. Don’t you?”

Muttering something under his breath, Negan pushed himself up on the bed and got off it moving over toward the chair to sit down in it. Staring out at the two of them, Negan took notice of the way Y/N was breathing and she looked desperate to have him back.

“Why don’t the two of you kiss for a while?” Negan suggested, adjusting the Santa hat that he was wearing, palming across the length of his chest. “Then show her what you can do with that mouth Mr. Miller.”

“Negan,” she spoke his name, wiggling her fingers out in hopes to bring him back but before she could Joel was crawling in over her covering her with his weight. It surprised her with him lowering between her thighs listening to Negan’s suggestion. Joel’s arm curled around her waist pulling her in closer to him and it had her gasping out. Stroking her fingers down over the side of his face, she saw that his eyelids were heavy and his pupils were dilated. “You’re okay with this?”

“Yeah,” Joel whispered teasing his lips over hers just barely. It had her eyes fluttering to a close and it made Joel smile. Bringing their lips together, Joel never truly thought they would be able to be close like this again when she turned him down after he admitted his love to her at the school. Negan was right, they were both uncomfortable and needed to loosen up before they could truly be relaxed enough to do something like this. “You want this?”

“I think so,” she nibbled at Joel’s bottom lip, sinking her fingers into Joel’s messy hair getting him to look at her. Was there absolute certainty in her mind that she wanted this? Not exactly, but her mind had dreamt about it so it must have been something that she wanted. “I love both of you.”

With a nod, Joel stole another kiss from her with his fingers sliding down over the side of her neck to caress at her flesh. Trailing her kisses off over his jaw, Joel lifted his head allowing her room to kiss down over his neck. No one knew his body quite like she did. Every kiss was meticulous causing a chill to flood throughout his veins. In the distance, Joel caught the expression that was over Negan’s face while he watched the two of them. There was a lump growing in his throat at the idea of being watched. Why did he like it?

Taking his attention from Negan, Y/N pulled Joel back into a kiss that was nervous. It was delicate, slow. Allowing her to control the kiss at first, Joel knew that it was his job to make her realize that he was okay with this. That she could be comfortable with him here. Deepening the kiss, the caress of Joel’s lips grew more fervent. Hungrier. His hands caressed down over the sides of her body with him trapping her beneath his weight.

“I love you,” Joel whispered against her lips, hovering them just over hers. A shuddering exhale escaped her lips leaving Joel’s head buzzing with the feelings that he was experiencing. “So much.”

Movement was heard and Joel felt the warmth of a hand pressing in over his shoulder, “On your knees.”

Shakily doing as he was told, Joel was careful in the way he got up to his knees over Y/N. Even though he was tense, having Y/N’s eyes on him like she did took his breath away. There was something hypnotic about the way she was breathing while she was beneath him fully naked. The warmth of Negan’s body pressed in behind him. Biting down on his bottom lip, Joel felt Negan tugging at the bottom of Joel’s tank top.

“You’re the one wearing the most,” Negan pointed out, the warmth of his breath lingering over the side of Joel’s neck.

Cussing out, a breath caught in Joel’s throat when the bed dipped. Y/N was pressing up on her hands with Negan unhurriedly pulling the material up his abdomen. Sloppy kisses were being pressed over the flesh that was slowly being revealed to her. Palming in over the back of her head, Joel’s eyes came to a tight close. The warmth of Negan’s breath was at the side of his neck. Between the sensation of that and the way that Y/N was kissing at his flesh, it had Joel shuddering between them.

“Good boy,” Negan rasped, his nose nuzzling in against Joel’s jawline having Joel suck in a sharp breath of air. Reaching Joel’s arms, Negan tugged at the material. “Lift your arms.”

Lazily, Joel did what he was told and let Negan get his shirt from him and toss it onto the floor. Grunting, Negan’s fingers grabbed a tight hold of Joel’s jaw causing him to fall back against Negan’s chest. Doting kisses were still being pressed over his abdomen from Y/N who was now leaving small nibbles at his flesh.

“It doesn’t hurt to listen sometimes, does it?” Negan growled, his large palm sliding across the length of Joel’s chest. A chill flooded down Joel’s spine with the sensation of Negan caressing over his body and down over his abdomen. There was a rush flooding his veins when he felt Negan palm across his chest once more, having his heart skip a beat. “The benefits could be good if you give some orders a chance.”

Confusion flooded his veins with Negan moving away from him realizing that what Negan had done left goosebumps over his arms. Focusing elsewhere, Joel brought his eyes back to Y/N who was tugging at the knot in his pajama pants.

“On your knees sweetheart,” Negan gave her the same order, getting behind her on the bed once again trapping her between the two of them. Caressing his hands up over her sides had her resting her head back against Negan’s shoulder. Voraciously kissing over the side of her neck had Y/N reaching her fingers up to tug at Negan’s hair knocking the Santa hat from his head. “I want the both of you to enjoy this.”

Grasping her jaw in his fingers, Joel brought her lips to his just enough to affectionately kiss her. Flattening his palm out between the valley of her breasts, Joel teased her with his rough fingertips. Surrounding her breast with his palm, Joel tested the flesh in his grasp. A muted cry fell from her lips and it had Negan smiling, his eyelids heavy with want.

“Feel good?” Negan confirmed, his hand curling around the front of her body and sliding between her thighs. Palming in over her mound, Negan was gentle in the way he caressed at her flesh. It had her hips bouncing forward toward his touch. There was already a warmth pooling at her body from what the men had worked her up to earlier.

“Yes,” she panted with Negan’s other hand urging her to turn her head to him enough so he could kiss her. With parted lips, she eagerly allowed the warmth of Negan’s tongue to sweep against hers. Returning the gesture, she sucked faintly at Negan’s tongue eliciting a moan from him.

Starting to kiss down over her shoulder, Joel’s lips covered her breast again. Nibbling, suckling and teasing the flesh with sweeps of his tongue. Negan’s fingers connecting with Y/N’s sensitive bundle of nerves had her purring out in pure ecstasy. The sound that came from her throat drew heat right to Joel’s cock and he groaned against her flesh having her bounce forward toward him.

“You like being pampered, don’t you?” Negan mused, the circular motions of his fingers over her clit growing in strength. Nipping at her jaw had her whimpering out. The warmth of Joel’s hands caressing down over her hips followed, sliding lazily around to her bottom to squeeze the flesh in his grasp. Desperately meeting Joel’s mouth in a wet kiss, she moaned into his mouth in attempts to keep herself quiet. Dragging his lips over her jawline, Negan hummed and smiled. “That’s it.”

With a shuddering breath, Y/N pulled her mouth from Joel’s to drop her forehead against Joel’s shoulder. Dropping his hand down, Negan squeezed at the fleshy part of her thigh while his caress continued over her most intimate parts.

“Closer,” Negan mouthed, his hazel eyes locking with Joel’s. Tipping his head to the side, Joel wondered just how much closer they could all get. Rolling his eyes, Negan lifted his hand that wasn’t between her thighs. Hooking his arm around Joel, Negan got him to move closer having Joel’s naked chest pressed up against hers. Kissing over her earlobe, Negan nipped at the flesh and growled. “Touch him.”

Huffing out, Joel felt the firm smack of Negan’s hand over his ass before Negan’s hand returned to her thigh to squeeze at it. Truthfully? Joel didn’t know how to respond to that, but there wasn’t enough time for him to. Nudging her thighs further apart with his knee, Negan had her gasping out. Shakily bracing her hands over Joel’s abdomen, she listened to Negan palming in over Joel’s chest. Tipping down she kissed at the center of it having Joel tip his head back. There was a fire flooding Joel’s veins with his heart hammering in his chest. Lifting his fingers to his lips, Negan took his own fingers into his mouth. That allowed Joel to take advantage, dropping his hand between her thighs to discover that she was soaked.

“You really do want this, don’t you?” Joel’s voice was deeper, his finger circling her entrance before sinking into her with a wet sound. Unhurried thrusts of his thick digit followed having her biting at his flesh. Inserting another finger, Joel took his time thrusting them inside of her. The slight stretch had her tremoring between them. “You’re so fucking wet.”

“Look at you,” Negan’s hand grasped firmly to her jaw, pulling her back against him. Hissing out, she yearned for the touch of Negan’s lips over hers. Claiming her as his while Joel’s mouth was at the side of her neck. Rewarding her with a kiss, Negan sucked tenderly at her tongue pulling away just enough to tease her. “You’re shaking.”

Pressing forward, Negan bucked his hips against her bottom causing her to whine, “You feel that?”

“Yes,” she panted, doing her best to not buckle over in pleasure with what she was feeling. Dropping her hand back behind her, she palmed over the front of Negan’s sweatpants having him moan in her ear. Unhurriedly Negan bucked his hips up against her palm allowing her to stroke over his body through the material to the best of her ability. “Please…”

“What do you want?” Negan snickered, reaching for Joel to pull him forward so he could kiss Y/N to a sweet surrender. Using her other hand, Y/N reached between them to palm over Joel’s groin getting him to grunt against her lips. The vibration of it against her flesh felt incredible. It was hard to keep herself from being loud since she knew the situation that they were in. Deep plunges of Joel’s fingers inside of her had her rocking her hips against the movements wanting to feel more of what he was doing. “See, it’s okay to listen to your dreams sometimes.”

Joel had gone back to kiss her and Negan’s kisses were pressing over her jawline getting closer to her lips. The warmth of Negan’s mouth near his had Joel backing slightly, his Adam’s apple bouncing in his throat when Y/N started to kiss Negan. Boldly leaning forward Joel greedily stole her back for another kiss which had Negan snickering as Negan kissed at the corner of her mouth. Negan’s tongue brushed out against her flesh causing her to whimper. Whether they were meaning to or not, all of their mouths collided in the kiss that they were sharing. Maybe Joel should have pulled back, but it didn’t feel wrong. Their kisses grew in strength, sharing Y/N and their lips colliding on occasion. Their breathing matched, broken and loud.

“Fuck,” Joel groaned. His forehead falling forward against Negan’s when her fingers curled around Joel’s girthy shaft through the material of his thin pajama pants. Instinctively her lips kissed over Joel’s jawline and he felt his heart jumping in his chest with how close he was to Negan in the moment of his vulnerability. Closing his eyes, Joel moaned when Negan dropped his head down, nudging his nose slightly against the other side of Joel’s neck. Wincing, Negan’s lips kissing over the side of Joel’s neck had a rush flooding through Joel’s veins. There was a vast difference between the two. Negan’s short beard scratched at his flesh while they both seemed to have their way with Joel. Quickening the motions of his fingers inside of Y/N had her falling in against his chest and Joel moaned again when he felt the walls of her tight canal clenching around his fingers.

“That’s it,” Negan knew by the sounds she was making that she was about to come. Joining Joel, Negan’s fingers circled her clitoris until she was a shaking mess between the both of them with the two working together to bring her to her first orgasm. “Good girl.”

Licking his lips, Joel didn’t know how to feel about what was happening. When he thought he was having a threesome with Y/N he didn’t think him nor Negan would be getting anywhere near one another but they might as well have kissed several times with how they were both kissing Y/N. Plus, there was that moment Negan kissed his neck. The bad thing is that Joel didn’t hate it, but his brain kept telling him that he should have.

“Get on your hands and knees at the center of the bed sweetheart,” Negan playfully smacked her ass having her whimper. Tremors still filled her body and Negan helped adjust her the way he wanted with her head at the bottom of the bed near Joel. Grabbing the Santa hat that was on the bed, Negan put it back on, adjusting it quickly before moving in behind Y/N. Caressing over her hips, Negan smirked and bobbed his head arrogantly.

“Are you going to wear that stupid hat still?” Joel stammered, caressing over Y/N’s shoulders when she went back to kissing over his lower abdomen.

“Fuck yeah I am,” Negan snickered, his chest rising and falling with his breathing growing heavier. “I’m fucking Santa Claus tonight and I’m delivering presents. So why the fuck not?”

Rolling his eyes, Joel cleared his throat when Negan palmed in over the front of his gray sweatpants drawing attention to the tent in them, “And now, I’m gonna give myself a gift and eat out this beautiful pussy.”

Excitement flooded her body when Negan got comfortable behind her squeezing and caressing at her fleshy bottom. Groaning out, Joel’s head dropped back when she started stroking at his erection through the material of his pajama pants again. Dropping his head, Joel swept his hand in over her face to keep the hair out of her eyes with her fingers hooking into the waistband of Joel’s pants. Taking them down with his boxers had the material pooling at Joel’s ankles.

Groaning out, Joel’s cock bounced in her face with her fingers swiftly curling around his girthy cock. Strokes of her hand over his flesh, teased the skin back and forth over his sensitive tip. Joel’s brow line creased when she pulled the flesh back so she could take him between her wet lips. Rolling his eyes back, Joel hissed out and licked his lips.

The damp heat around his rigid length felt amazing with her dedicated strokes of her tongue over the ridges of the tip, “Fuck…”

With a smirk, Negan pressed forward to start kissing at the back of Y/N’s thighs. Adjusting her legs, Negan pushed at her cheeks so he could get a better look at her tight hole. Dragging his tongue along the length of her sex had her crying out which had Joel’s hands tremoring while he stroked his fingers at her scalp.

Moaning against her flesh had her whimpering again and that’s when Negan started lapping at her body. His tongue prodding and flicking at her entrance, his fingers connecting with her clitoris to tease over her already sensitive clit. Doing her best to stay steady on her hand that was bracing her weight, Y/N continued to give Joel a blowjob finding it hard to focus with the way that Negan was pleasuring her.

Slurping, wet sounds came from both her and Negan while they pleasured the person before them. Wincing out, Joel sank his fingers tighter into her hair with her pulling her mouth away when Negan started plunging his fingers into her. Pumping them into her, Negan licked his wet lips and cussed out.

“You have the prettiest pussy,” Negan complimented her with a hum, dropping forward to flick his tongue against her hole again. His eyes closing tightly to focus on the sounds she was making when he did it. Feasting on her body had her rocking back against his movements with her hand still caressing over Joel’s saliva covered cock. “Fuck…”

“My turn,” Joel suggested stepping away from Y/N. Leaning back on his knees, Negan wiped at his mouth with the back of his hand. Giving a single nod, Negan got up from the bed. Laying down on the bed, Joel urged her to crawl in over his shoulders with her hands balancing herself on the bed. Hooking his arms around her thighs brought her down closer to him so he could suckle at her clit eliciting another cry from her. Hooking his arms in place made sure that she couldn’t move much while he had his way with her.

Varying between using his tongue and his mouth, Joel hungrily pleasured her finding himself fueled with the way that she was trying so hard to be quiet, but she wasn’t doing a very good job with it. Her thighs were tremoring in his grasp, her hips rocking against his movements. Having both Joel and Negan worshiping her body like this was not something she was expecting. It had her on cloud nine, her body hot and shaking.

“You’re so fucking pretty,” Negan grasped her jaw between his thumb and index finger. Tipping her head back, he gave her a big wolfish smile. Leaning down, Negan captured her lips in another kiss that took her breath away with each caress of his lips over hers. Sweeping his thumb across her wet bottom lip when their kiss broke apart had Negan snickering. Dragging his fingers down over the side of her neck, he reached down to pinch at her hard nipple inducing a whine from her. Using his free hand, Negan pushed at the front of his sweatpants and black boxer briefs. Lazily pulling at the material had his cock springing free from the restrictive material when he just got the material right below the base of his cock. Firmly curling his fingers around his lengthy cock, Negan stepped before her with her wetting her lips at the sight of it. “Come here beautiful.”

Allowing Negan to bring her closer to him, she happily accepted him into her mouth with him cautiously thrusting his hips back and forth to sink his body into her throat. Taking his time to make sure that she was comfortable with the motions. Having Joel’s head buried between her thighs and Negan’s cock in her mouth was nothing she ever expected to have, but she liked it. And it fueled her to both pleasure Negan and rock her hips against Joel’s mouth. A raspy moan escaped Negan’s throat, with him caressing over her back. Squeezing at Negan’s hips, she pulled his pants and boxer briefs just under his ass. Cupping his testicles tenderly, she slurped and lapped at his body with her tongue having his hisses growing more frequent.

Cussing out in pleasure, Negan felt her fingers sinking into his hips when Joel got her to moan against his flesh. Twitching, Negan bit at his bottom lip and hummed. Her hands swept around to Negan’s ass to squeeze at his small bottom.

“Joel,” she forced herself away from Negan’s cock, crying out with the way Joel was feasting on her body. Her lips were wet, leaving a line of spit from the tip of Negan’s cock to her mouth. “Christ. You never…”

Closing her eyes shut tightly, her body trembled at what Joel was doing. As of their last few sex sessions, he wasn’t usually this focused on pleasuring her and it had her feeling euphoric from what he was doing, “Ah, well now he has something to prove…”

Joel was relentless with his motions sending waves of pleasure throughout her entire body. Dropping her head against Negan’s lower abdomen had an amused rumble escaping his throat. There was the wet sound of Joel sucking at her throbbing clit before sweeping his tongue around it. His thick fingers were plunging into her body, matching the motions of his tongue. Euphoria was spreading out through her body from her fingers to her toes, her face burying against Negan’s naked hip while he stroked his fingers over the back of her neck.

Dropping his head back on the bed, Joel’s lips were wet with his dark eyes full of lust and want for the woman over him, “Hook your arms around me.”

Listening to Negan, she gasped when he easily pulled her up from Joel and laid her down beside Joel. Pushing open her thighs, Negan laid between them. Curling his arm around one of them, he pushed at her other thigh allowing her to open herself up to him. Bracing his left arm across her lower abdomen locked her in place. Stroking his fingers from her clit to her entrance and then back again had her hips arching upwards.

A rumble of an amused sound fell from Negan and Joel rolled onto his side to caress over the lengths of her abdomen with is mouth surrounding her breast again, “You wanna show Joel our new trick?”

A wicked smirk pulled at Negan’s handsome features, rubbing his cheek against the inside of her thighs. The rough sensation of his short beard pressing over her skin had her hips arching up toward him. Circling his fingers around her entrance, Negan lowered his mouth down to start circling his tongue over her clit. Taking his time to press his fingers into her had her whimpering. Closing his eyes, Negan seemed to genuinely enjoy pleasuring her with his mouth suctioning at her flesh. Thrusting his fingers just the right way had Negan hitting her g-spot like he had done before having a fire growing at the pit of her belly. After two orgasms? Everything was sensitive. And she didn’t know how she’d make it through the sex part if this was how they kept up at everything.

The weight of the bed adjusted with Joel moving around to the bottom of the bed with Negan. Peppering kisses over her lower abdomen, Joel surprisingly enjoyed the wet sounds that Negan’s fingers were making inside of her with her hips rocking up toward him.

“You wanna share?” Negan slurred, pulling his mouth away from her body. Not allowing Joel an answer, Negan sank his fingers into Joel’s hair to pull him closer to her core. Pressing wet, hot kisses against her clit while Negan’s fingers continued to firmly thrust into her had her cooing out. Taking turns, they would both lap at her body with their tongues and sucking at her sensitive folds. Lifting his head while Joel was pleasuring her, Negan took notice of her body shaking, her fingers curled tightly around the comforter so much so that her knuckles were turning white. “Almost there baby.”

Shudders filled her entire body with her reaching for a pillow to cover her face to muffle her cries when Negan’s fingers were forced from her body when he got her to squirt. Moaning out himself, Negan felt an incredible ache at his cock. Joel’s eyes seemed surprised with his hand stroking down over his chest.

Getting up on his knees, Joel pulled her hips closer to him, his fingers pressing into her swiftly thrusting them inside of her having her arching up toward him with her still shaking. Hitting the same spots that Negan had been prodding away at had her rocking her hips against his fingers. Joel was determined, his breathing loud.

“A little bit more,” Negan trailed his fingers down between her breasts over her lower abdomen and then back again. Hissing out, Joel felt his cock twitch when the wet sound of another orgasm flooding from her body was felt. “Hot, right? We only recently just learned she was capable of this.”

“Fuck me,” she felt like the room was spinning around her with her pulling the pillow from her face. How her heart was pounding in her chest had her breathless and she shook her head. “Are you two trying to kill me? Do you not want me around tomorrow or…?”

“Don’t be dramatic,” Negan hushed her with an amused expression when Joel laid in over her, bracing himself on his left hand. Stroking over his cock with his right, Joel teased the swollen tip over her clitoris having her whimper. Lowering down beside Y/N Negan stroked his fingers over her jawline getting her to look at him. “I want to see the look on your face when he enters you.”

Quickly kissing her, Negan looked down to watch Joel line his rigid cock up with her seeping entrance. With a smack forward of Joel’s hips, it had her head tipping back with her eyes still locked on Negan’s. Clicking his tongue at the top of his mouth, Negan let out an amused rumble of a sound with Joel lowering in over her. Hooking his arm under her shoulders, Joel brought her closer to him with his head burying against the side of her neck that Negan wasn’t at.

The bed squeaked with the thrusts Joel was making inside of her, her winces filling the air. Leaning across, Negan’s mouth covered hers with his tongue brushing against hers. Humming when he pulled away, Negan got up to his knees and his hand settled in over Joel’s lower back.

“Slow it down,” Negan instructed causing Joel to grunt and look back over his shoulder at Negan. “Draw it out. Deep plunges.”

“I know how to have sex Negan,” Joel suggested with Negan dramatically bobbing his head about.

“I agree. I know you do. But we wanna drag this out. You’re gonna wear her out and she’s right. We’re gonna dehydrate her and she’s gonna be face down sleeping in this bed tomorrow. Let’s go for a more sensual experience instead of fucking,” Negan explained, his hazel eyes locked with Joel’s dark eyes. Sliding his palm in over Joel’s ass, Negan squeezed just at the bottom of it getting Joel to flex his hips up. “Slow pull back.”

Guiding Joel’s thrusts had Joel lowering his forehead against Y/N’s with her arms hooking around Joel’s shoulders. Strangely enough Joel liked the way Negan caressed over his back while his body moved over hers.

“Thatta boy,” Negan stood from the bed watching the two of them closely. Kicking out of his pants, Negan stroked at his swollen cock. “Don’t be greedy Joel. You gotta learn to share.”

Biting back the smart remark that he wanted to make, Joel pulled his hips away from her and laid in beside her. An indescribable ache overwhelmed her with the empty feeling. Wincing, Joel felt his cock resting against his lower abdomen and loosely wrapped his fingers around it to stroke over it slightly.

“Alright beautiful,” Negan breathed, crawling in over her and bracing his weight over his palms. The top of the Santa hat fell in over his eyes again making Negan laugh. Blowing, he tried to get it out of his face, but Y/N reached up to pull it from his head revealing the messy hair beneath. “Making things less festive…”

Getting comfortable between her thighs, Negan urged her to wrap her legs around his waist, “Hook your ankles…”

Doing as she was told, a shuddering breath fell from her throat with the closeness of Negan pressing in over her bracing his weight on his left hand. Leading his manhood to her entrance, Negan took his time sinking into her with his hazel eyes locked on hers. Parting her lips, she did her best to keep her eyes locked on his. Palming in over the side of her face, Negan’s hips would push forward before pulling back almost to the tip before forward again. It was incredibly deep penetration having her whimpering with every thrust he made. Their eyes were locked with them focused solely on one another with Negan stealing small kisses.

“Negan,” she cooed out, her hands palming up and over the lengths of his chest having him moaning with his movements.

Pulling himself up into a seated position, Joel cleared his throat noticing how desperate she was to have Negan close. He’d be lying if he said he didn’t see the bond between the two of them, “We need better sharing positions…”

An amused rumble fell from Negan with him nodding. Giving her a quick kiss, Negan got to his knees dragging his cock from her tight canal with a grunt. It allowed her to shakily sit up reaching out to stroke both her hands over their cocks. Urging them forward had the two of them close with her dropping down to take Joel’s cock into her mouth before going to Negan’s. Switching between the both of them had Joel bracing some of his weight against Negan.

“Fuck,” Joel moaned, his head burying against Negan’s shoulder. Biting at the flesh had Negan hissing out, his back arching with his chest pushing out closer to Joel. Negan lowered his head pressing faint kisses at Joel’s jawline. Closing his eyes, Joel tipped his head back enjoying the way it felt. Breathlessly, Joel placed his hand in over the center of Negan’s chest. How did this keep happening? Knowing that it should have been Y/N they were focusing on, Joel turned his body. Sitting down at the top of the bed, Joel braced his back against the headboard. Wiggling his fingers to direct her to him, Joel helped her lower herself down over his length after she crawled in over him with his hand settling at her lower back. “You feel so good.”

Beyond Y/N, Negan stayed there as if considering what Joel had just done, his eyebrow arching in amusement. Nodding his head, Negan moved on the bed getting on his knees behind Y/N. Palming in over her breasts while she rocked her hips over Joel had her breathing loud.

“Do you like the way he feels inside of you?” Negan slurred, pressing kisses against the side of her face. Grasping firmly to her hips, Negan helped her bounce her hips over Joel’s length, biting at her jawline. Joel’s eyebrows were furrowed locked on the movements that her body was making over his. Bracing his left hand against the headboard beside Joel’s head, Negan pulled her hips up from Joel’s length having Joel’s cock hit his stomach with a smack. Leading himself back into her, Negan started rolling his hips from behind her having her breasts bounce in Joel’s face. The warmth of her surrounding him felt incredible with Negan nuzzling his nose in against the side of her neck. The soft smacks of his balls smacking up against her clit had her purring out. “Do you like daddy inside of you?”

Hearing Negan call himself daddy had Joel smirking and he lifted up to start kissing in over the side of Y/N’s neck. Now it felt like a competition again. Of which one was better. Y/N’s head was tipped back against Negan’s shoulder in euphoria. Flexing his bicep around her waist, Joel pulled her from Negan and led her back over him. Guiding her down to fill herself completely had her whimpering out, bracing her hands against Joel’s chest while Negan continued to kiss at the side of her neck.

Meeting her with his thrusts upward with every roll of her hips had her panting out Joel’s name. Licking her lips with her eyes closed, she hooked her arm around her to jerk Negan off. Having Negan’s lips parting, his moans muted against the side of her neck.

“Do you feel good?” Joel breathed knowing that he was letting himself get fired up. Negan didn’t see this as a competition. God he was so fucking stupid. This was supposed to be them focusing on her and by the sounds she was making it was clear she was loving this. Not seeing or believing there was anything wrong between them because Joel promised her it would be fine.

“So good,” she responded in a faint moan with her trying to hold back her cries. They both were so different that it brought forth a contrasting sensation each time they switched.

“You wanna come?” Negan growled, his fingers dropping between her thighs to circle her clit allowing the right amount of friction with her grinding against his fingers with every upward movement she made over Joel’s thick cock. Between the both of them she was a hot mess. They were stretching her and filling her in the ways only they could drawing everything out. “Go on baby…come around Joel’s cock.”

Loud pants fell from her throat with her hips tremoring over Joel’s. The contractions of her tight walls clamping to his cock from her orgasm had Joel’s head resting against the center of her chest. His moans were faint and he wasn’t quite as verbal as Negan, but as he nuzzled his nose against her chest he felt like this was the closest they’d been in a long time.

“Come here,” Negan hooked his arm around her waist, pulling her from Joel again with her back against his chest. Throwing his legs over the side of the bed, Negan let her sit in his lap for a moment bracing her hands against his thighs. Smacking faintly at her bottom, Negan got her to lift her hips up and slowly lower herself down over his cock having her whine when he filled her completely. “Take your time. Catch your breath. I just like the way it feels being inside of you.”

Sitting up, Joel urged Y/N’s face to turn toward him with him curling his finger underneath her chin. Having her weakly kiss him back made him wonder if they were truly going to wear her out for tomorrow. This was about making her feel good and they were doing just that.

Placing her feet on the ground, she grasped tightly to Negan’s thighs starting to rock herself back against Negan before forward. It drew only a small amount of his cock out of her, but it felt good. They both left her with addictive ache that she wasn’t ready to lose. Once Negan filled her fully again, she circled her hips over his in a circular motion. It had Negan’s eyelids growing heavy, his lips parting to allow the inexplicable moan that wanted to escape his lips out.

“Nothing feels better than being inside of you,” Negan alerted her, nuzzling his nose against the back of her neck. Suddenly feeling left out again, Joel smirked and curled his fingers around Negan’s neck, pulling him down to the bed. Wincing, Negan stared up at Joel with Joel’s thumb pressing over the fleshy part of Negan’s throat. Loud smacks were filling the air with her now bouncing steadily back and then forward over Negan’s cock. They both looked watching Negan’s cock disappearing into her time and time again. Her arousal coating the length of it.

“You’re a pain in the ass,” Joel mouthed, his dark eyes locked on Negan’s. An amused breath fell from Negan’s throat followed by a moan. Trying to look up, Negan wanted to continue to watch Y/N’s movements over his body but Joel kept him down. “She sure does know how to ride your cock, doesn’t she? Gets drunk off of it. Like nothing feels better than you being inside of her.”

“You’d know,” Negan commented, his breathing labored with his eyes coming to a tight close with how good it felt with Y/N doing what she was. Using his body in the ways that felt good to her. Speaking quietly, Negan sucked in a sharp breath with Joel’s grasp around his throat tightening. “Either kiss me or kick my ass because you wanna do one of the two.”

“Fuck you Negan,” Joel growled lifting his hand from Negan’s throat to smack at the side of Negan’s face. Shock flooded Negan’s eyes with his breathing intensifying.

“You little shit,” Negan lifted up, stealing an angry kiss from Joel’s lips. Part of Joel wanted to pull away, but he didn’t. Instead he kissed Negan back, with the two of them fighting for dominance over the kiss. It was a foreign sensation, with Negan moaning against his mouth. Negan’s lips parted and instinctively Joel teased his tongue in against Negan’s who eagerly sucked faintly at it. Moaning, Joel felt an ache at his cock realizing this was turning out to be vastly different than he originally thought it was going to be. Unhurriedly, he pulled back nipping at Negan’s bottom lip with the movement. Humming, Joel dragged his thumb out across Negan’s bottom lip and shook his head. Patting Negan on the side of the face, Joel smirked and then lifted up to reach for Y/N. Pulling her from Negan’s cock had her whining. She had built a confident, steady pace attempting to reach a moment of bliss for the both of them, but Joel stole that from her.

Urging her back up onto the bed. Joel got her onto her knees and moved in behind her. Entering her in a fluid movement, Joel’s head tipped back and his throat flexed with slow, steady movements. It had her bouncing forward with every thrust. Negan was still laid stretched out across the bed in front of her. His cock twitching while it rest against his lower abdomen. “Fuck me.”

Stretching out his lengthy body, Negan felt Y/N lowering down enough to kiss over his abdomen while Joel’s thrusts continued behind her, “You okay?”

“Peachy,” Negan licked his lips, snatching the Santa hat that she had pulled off him earlier putting it back on. Stroking over her face, Negan cherished her features lifting up to steal a few kisses from her. “I love you. So fucking much.”

“Mmm…I love you too,” she hummed, sucking tenderly at his bottom lip. Closing her eyes, she lowered her upper half resting it over Negan’s chest, her fingers curling around Negan’s manhood caressing over it slowly. Pressing her down, Joel’s hips smacked up against her bottom, his winces filling the air with his movements.

Reaching around with her free hand, Y/N urged Joel’s hips to smack up against her harder. Turning her head, her mouth met Joel’s lips with his tongue brushing out against hers. Instead of saying anything, his breathing grew more broken, his hand shakily reaching out to grab a hold of Negan’s. Burying his nose against the side of her neck, Joel released a faint moan, his hips slowing down but growing in strength. Closing her eyes, she winced with every thrust feeling the throbbing of Joel inside of her. With a final grunt, Joel nipped at her chin with his eyes slamming shut.

“Thatta boy,” Negan rumbled patting Joel on the side of the face. Carefully drawing his hips back, Joel grunted when his cock pulled from her warmth. Tipping his head down, he watched some of his come dripping from her body and smirked. Feeling his body aching as well, Negan got up to his feet at the bottom of the bed. Working carefully, he turned her onto her back pulling her right to the edge. Getting on his knees, he grabbed a hold of one of her thighs, pushing her legs open just enough to lead his aching cock back into her. “How do you feel? Good?”

“Yes,” she panted with Joel sliding in beside her to caress over the lengths of her abdomen, squeezing and palming at her breasts as they bounced with Negan’s thrusts.

“That’s exactly what we wanted,” Negan slurred with a weak smile, plunging his cock into her. The bed was squeaking with the thrusts he was making, his head tipping back showing that the prominent vein at the side of his neck was bulging. Having Negan moaning like he was drew a fire through her veins again. Being the reason for a man to make those sounds was amazing. Lowering down in over her, Negan curled his hand around the back of her neck to get her to lift her head up so she could kiss him. Humming against her lips, Negan’s thrusts started to grow stronger with her cries getting louder. “I just want you happy. That’s all I’ve ever wanted.”

“Negan,” she palmed up over Negan’s chest, her fingers teasing through the dark curls of hair that covered his skin. Tipping her head back allowed Joel the room to kiss her again. Stretching his arm around, Joel’s fingers curled around the back of Negan’s thigh urging him to move faster.

“Fuck,” Negan bit down on his bottom lip, pressing in closer to her wanting to make this more personal with the ending. A small nudge of Joel’s nose against the side of Negan’s face drew him to turn his head toward Joel. This time Joel’s lips claimed his with her moan following as Negan’s thrusts grew stronger with the swollen tip of his cock hitting her in all the right places. Parting his lips, Negan allowed Joel’s tongue to brush against his once. They all shared kisses with Negan’s moans growing raspier. Negan’s hips started to falter, his forehead pressing to hers when the first line of his come filled her. Again and again he smacked up against her having her clinging to him, her whispered praises being pressed against his ear.

“Keep going,” she pled clinging tightly to him when his thrusts quickened, her hips eagerly rocking up to meet his movements. With a final cry, her nails dug into Negan’s shoulders, his eyes rolling back when he pulled his body from hers with a wet sound. Dropping at the other side of her, they all laid there staring up at the ceiling trying to catch their breath.

“That was…” Joel finally broke the silence lowering his hand to hook his fingers with hers. “Highly unexpected.”

With a laugh, Negan rolled onto his side and loosely wrapped his arm around Y/N’s body. Nuzzling his nose against the side of her neck, Negan deposited loving kisses over her jawline and sighed, “But very nice.”

“I’m just going to be feeling it for days,” she alerted them, her breathing still labored. Turning on his side too, Joel caressed over her inner thigh, his kisses pressing in over her shoulder. The ache was strong, but one she quite liked. Lifting her head, she felt the warmth of their release spilling from her body and she licked her lips. “I’m going to need some Gatorade.”

Snorting, Negan couldn’t help but laugh causing the other two to laugh as well, “We need to clean you up.”

“Hey,” Joel called out, snatching Negan’s wrist firmly with his fingers before Negan could get up from the bed. “Why waste tissue when you can use your mouth?”

“Joel,” she breathed out his name catching the smirk that Negan gave. With a half nod, Negan lowered himself back between her thighs again having her exhaling loudly. Placing her thigh over his shoulder, Negan tenderly pressed two fingers back inside of her coating the walls of her spent body with their release. Lazily dragging them out from inside of her, Negan lifted his fingers and saw Joel eyeing them over.

“You first,” Negan looked to his fingers that were coated in their fluids, a wicked expression flooding his features. Joel’s dark eyes narrowed, but instead of backing down he lifted up to drag his tongue over the length of Negan’s fingers. Taking Negan’s fingers into his mouth, Joel sucked them clean and heard Negan’s moan follow.

A cry fell from her lips when Negan’s head lowered between her thighs with Negan’s mouth and tongue lapping at her body. Involuntarily her body shook against him. Everything was sensitive, but she couldn’t deny that it still felt good. Negan was doing just as he was instructed by Joel and her eyes squeezed shut tightly.  

“You crazy son of a bitch,” Joel hooked his fingers into Negan’s hair pulling his head up. Tugging him up, Joel dragged his tongue out over Negan’s lips. A loud exhale fell from Y/N’s throat, a weak smile forming at her lips. Over and over again Joel kissed Negan tasting himself along with the others on his mouth.

“Goddamn,” she blurt out having Joel pull his mouth from Negan’s with a wet sound.

“Don’t pretend you don’t like it,” Negan scoffed with a laugh, lowering his head enough to nip at the flesh right below her navel.

“Oh, I’m all for it. I’m just waiting to wake up now,” she brushed her fingers through Negan’s wet hair. “I always thought the two of you might have had something going on when we were younger, but…”

“We never did anything,” Joel spoke up firmly having both Negan and Y/N look at him with an odd expression when he interrupted her thought process. “I’m…straight.”

“Right, me too,” Negan snickered, his right eyebrow arching in amusement. The tone of his voice was layered with sarcasm. Giving Joel a wink, Negan started to pull himself up from the bed. “Whatever you say buddy.”  

“We just got lost in a moment,” Joel reasoned, feeling a sense of panic flooding his veins. “I don’t sleep with men. I haven’t.”

“Hey,” Y/N hushed Joel, outstretching her hand to palm in over the side of his face. “It’s okay. I don’t mind. It was hot. And you both clearly liked it.”  

“I’ll be right back, I’m going to get something to clean up,” Negan dipped in to press a lingering kiss over Y/N’s lips. Brushing his tongue against hers had her purring out. The taste of their arousal still lingered over Negan’s lips and it made her moan.

Heading to the bathroom left Joel alone with Y/N. Pulling himself up into a seated position, Joel looked toward the bathroom and cleared his throat, “It’s okay Joel. We all enjoyed each other. That’s all that matters.”

“I just haven’t…” Joel tried to defend himself again and she silenced him, sweeping her thumb across his bottom lip.

“We’re all close. It was a passionate moment and it’s okay. I’m happy that we all shared that together. It made me happy.”

“You’re not gonna look at me different?” Joel spoke almost in a whisper, his southern accent growing deeper.

“Are you going to look at me different?” she repeated the question with Joel shaking his head slowly. “Then of course not.”

“I uh…” Joel brushed his messy hair out of his face and nodded toward the bathroom. “I’ll be right back.”

Getting up to his feet, Joel gave her a wink and left her to herself laying at the center of the bed. Truly, she looked happy. It was a first for her and he knew that. Being between two men? That was something completely different and she seemed to be living off the high from it all.

“Hey,” Joel spoke quietly, closing the door somewhat behind him when he entered the bathroom. At the sink, Negan lifted his head and his eyes met Joel’s in the mirror. “I uh…”

“Don’t worry about it,” Negan shook his head, washing up and reaching for a few things. “I know you’re supposed to hate me so after tonight you’re gonna go back to your old self. Don’t let my queer brain make your straight one feel uncomfortable.”

“You’re the first guy I kissed,” Joel stammered with Negan going to walk back out to the bedroom. “Okay? I’ve only been with women. This is…weird for me.”

“It’s normal Joel. People have sex. Sex feels good,” Negan stepped forward, his hazel eyes looking down upon Joel as if trying to read him. “And that’s what just happened. We did what felt good. No labels. No dumb shit. Fuck, it was just three people aiming to feel good. Don’t make it more than it is.”

Silence followed. Negan waited for Joel to say something, but when he didn’t, Negan just chuckled to himself and shook his head. Moving around Joel, Negan went to head back into the bedroom.

“Get over here you little shit,” Joel hissed pulling Negan back, having him stumbling back to him. Taking advantage of the taller, skinnier man before him, Joel grabbed a firm hold of Negan by the jaw. His other hand wrapped around Negan’s middle. Forcing him to look in the mirror, Joel shook his head. Pressing himself against Negan’s back, Joel could hear Negan’s breathing loud. “I’m in love with her.”

“And so am I,” Negan stressed wincing when Joel nuzzled his nose in against the side of Negan’s neck. Closing his eyes, Negan sucked in a sharp breath of air with Joel kissing at his skin. Tiny bites were placed over the area and it had Negan moaning. “Just because you love her doesn’t mean you can’t want someone to pound your tight ass.”

“I think you’re confusing yourself with me,” Joel’s hips bucked up against Negan drawing Negan to hiss out firmly. “If anyone was going to fuck someone in the ass, I reckon it would be me. I’m the alpha between the two of us.”

“You scream bottom Joel Miller,” Negan was quick to reverse the hold that Joel had on him. Forcing Joel face down on the counter of the bathroom had Joel grunting out. Palming down over Joel’s back, Negan took his time to squeeze at Joel’s fleshy bottom. “The man who has to be in control of everything, all the time. You’re screaming for someone to take that control from you.”

“We know you’re the one desperate to put my dick in your mouth,” Joel slurred eliciting a laugh from Negan who nodded.

“Well, I guess I’m the dick sucker and the butt fucker in the situation,” Negan released Joel allowing him to stand up. Heading for the door, he stopped and shrugged his shoulders. “This is hypothetically speaking of course.”

Leaving him alone in the bathroom had Joel’s heart pounding away inside of his chest. Was that flirting between the two of them? Let alone, how could he even respond to what happened between them tonight. He did hate Negan. And part of him did have negative feelings toward Negan. Did this all really happen just because of a heat of the moment kind of thing?

Gathering himself, he counted down from a number and then headed back into the bedroom. By now Negan and Y/N were laying at the center of the bed. The light was turned off and the only light filtering through was from the outside. Negan had finally taken off that silly fucking hat and Y/N was drawing circles over his chest while they whispered about something.

“Do you want me to leave?” Joel wondered swallowing down hard with Y/N shaking her head. Extending her hand out toward Joel, she grasped his fingers in hers and led him to lay back down. Cuddling his head in at the back of her neck, Joel deposited a kiss and appreciated her allowing him to hold her.

A lot of thoughts were running wild through Joel’s head as he stroked his thumb over the back of her hand. What did this mean for them? What did the future hold for their relationship? And so many other things. Even though he was comfortable and the most at ease he had been in a long time, he couldn’t sleep.

“Joel?” Y/N whispered after what felt like a very long time after they had laid down to sleep. “Are you awake?”

“Uh huh,” Joel was quiet, lifting his head to see that Negan’s chest was rising and falling showing that he was asleep.

“Did you slap Negan when I had my back turned?” she looked over her shoulder at Joel who gave a sheepish smile.

“I did,” Joel didn’t lie, his eyebrows bouncing up when she let out a laugh.

“I thought so,” she snickered, pulling his hand up to press a kiss over the back of it. “Smooth Mr. Miller. Very smooth.”

“I’ve wanted to smack that man for a very long time,” Joel admitted, pressing a lingering kiss against her temple. “This was just the first time I took advantage of it.”

Another quiet chuckle was heard from her with him cuddling back in from behind her. Wrapping her up in his arms, Joel wondered if this whole threesome thing would be doable. More than anything he had a lot of questions. And hopefully they would all be answered very soon. Just right now, he was going to enjoy feeling good for the first time in a very long time.

----

Tags: @chainsawsangel @fancypeacepersona @violent-darkness @negansbestie @elegantfanficluv

@sanctuaryforthelost @dead-of-niight @dilfsandmartinis @jennydehavilland

[doctorwhoandfairytaillover]

Loving Arms (4)

Summary: The children of Viserys I from his wife Alicent Hightower had always been lacking in affection from their parents. They simply didn't realize how much until their widowed aunt was brought into their lives. (AU where Alicent has an older sister and her kids get the love that they deserve, takes place some time after the Driftmark event)

Part IV: Changes must be made

|| Loving Arms Masterlist ||

A/N: There were so many ways that I wanted this chapter to go, but I think this was as good as I was going to get it. Please leave a comment and let me know what y'all thought. 😊

BTW: I have tagged everyone that asked, but some weren't working for some reason

For quite some time, Aegon was used to being harshly woken in the morning and dragged to different lessons or things that he absolutely despised attending because it was the expectation. Curtains would be pulled open quickly, further bothering his morning as light would seep into his eyes and making his head pound with pulsing pain from drinking quite a bit the night before.

His mother, grandfather, or perhaps the septa would harshly pull him from his bed, tell him off for his previous behavior and that he was shaming not just himself, but his family by his actions. It was all things that he had heard and experienced more times than he could count.

A routine that he had lived for so many years that he had lost track at what point did it begin.

So it was certainly a complete shock to wake up slowly one morning, the soft feeling of someone playing with his hair was what had stirred his sleep addled mind. His room was still fairly dark, the curtains had not been drawn and there were no servants or other attendants milling about his room. His bleary eyes slowly focused in to see that his lovely muña was the only one in the room.

"Did you sleep well, sweet boy?" she asked softly while combing her fingers through his hair. "I figured that we might try a different way of going about your morning since I heard that you imbibed quite a bit."

She sat on the edge of his bed and had such a tender look of affection as she stared at him that it overwhelmed Aegon to see it. Instead of answering, he hid his face in her skirts and gripped the fabric of her dress between his hands. Kneading the material in his hands and whimpering softly.

There was no reproach from his sweet muña and she shushed him softly, petting his tangled locks.

"Oh Aegon," she whispered. "I am sure that your head hurts, but we must start the day. There is quite a bit that must be done."

He snuggled into her lap and peeked an eye to look at her, "Must I?"

She laughed gently, "Yes, you must."

She turned to the side table by his bed and carefully picked up the teapot that was placed there by the servants to pour some tea into his teacup. "Here, sit up a little."

Begrudgingly Aegon sat up against the headboard of his bed and pushed back his hair away from his face, rubbing at his eyes in exhaustion.

"I made sure to add a bit of honey to your tea this time," she smiled. "I thought a bit of sweetness would be a nice way to start the day before we break fast."

"Thank you," he whispered. He took his light purple teacup with gentle care and blew softly on the steaming liquid, humming in delight when he managed a small sip. "It tastes better, thank you muña."

"You are welcome," she said as she picked up her own teacup and drank her tea silently beside him.

It was quiet.

Aegon wasn't used to soft mornings like this one.

To hear the distant clatter of life outside the walls of the Keep.

The gentle birdsong as they also greeted a new day.

The quiet hums of his muña, whose smile hadn't left despite the fact that he wasn't even ready for his lessons.

Even with his hesitance to become too comfortable, Aegon hoped that he could more mornings like this one.

"Muña?" he called out softly. "It is not that I don't appreciate this change of pace, but what stirred all of this?"

"I heard amongst the grapevine that your mornings were quite the chaotic events" she said gently. "That it was quite the spectacle to be present when the eldest prince was put in his place or so I had heard."

His face burned in shame and he looked at the dregs left at the bottom of his cup. Because even though he appeared aloof and uncaring to others, it was humiliating to go through it.

He just didn't know how to change what he was doing, when every day felt like a burden.

When his limbs felt like lead, his head would hurt from all the letters that would swim on the page, and as if his heart would pound out of his chest as nothing that his tutors said made any sense to him.

"It seemed to me," she said quietly and carefully lifted his chin to look her in the eye. "It seemed that everyone around you had failed to help you. Or was I mistaken?"

Tears pooled in his lavender eyes and shook his head, swallowing the lump that was stuck in his throat.

"I know there will be quite a bit of backlash, but I have relieved all of your current tutors from service and have sent word to a few that we will see if they fare any better" she said. "Would that be alright with you? Trying things a little differently?"

He quickly but carefully set his teacup beside him, practically leaping into her lap and wrapped his arms around her tightly. His sobs wracked his body and made it difficult to speak.

"H - how? H - how is it that y - you can s - see ME?!" he cried. "H - how? When my own m -mother cannot?"

She only held him tighter and rubbed his back softly, "Because I know what it is like to go through life never being seen by those we cry out to the most."

He could only cry.

And she held him in her arms for quite some time, letting him cry even when his nose ran and stained her dress. It took a long time until his breaths merely shuddered as the last of his tears dried and he let himself be held.

Slowly he sat up and wiped at his nose, "I think that I would like a bath now."

"I will have someone come up and draw the water for you," she said wiping his stray tears away. "I have someone that I need to speak with soon, go and look for your siblings. Spend some time together, I have made the arrangements so that you are not interrupted."

With that she leisurely stood up and brushed her skirts from any wrinkles. He sat back on his bed and watched her.

"Where will you be going, muña? May we come along?"

"No Aegon, it is probably best that you and your siblings not come with me today. I do not think it would be appropriate for you all to witness me stir up more trouble than is necessary."

"Trouble?" he tilted his head confused.

"Heaps of trouble and hopefully I will not need any help getting out of it" she laughed. "But knowing my big mouth, there will be times that I cross the line."

"I don't know if I like where this will go" he said. "Please take care, muña."

"I will do my best, Aegon" she said. "But do not worry and I will be back as soon as I am able."

---------------------

"My lady, I must tell you once again that the King does not wish to have any visitors at this time," the guard said with his gaze forward.

"And I will tell YOU again Ser, that if you do not tell the King that I wish to speak to him about an urgent matter, that you are stripped of your post and tongue" she smiled.

The guard trembled in his place but remained firm in keeping his gaze forward.

"My lady, please -"

"What seems to be going on here?"

Their gazes darted to King Viserys standing by his partially opened door, he looked between them expectantly.

"Good brother, how lovely to see you" she said with a saccharine smile. "I was telling this kind ser that I needed a word with you, but it seems that you were preocuppied."

"Nonsense, I have time to speak with my good sister. Come in (Y/N), don't dawdle by the door."

Walking by the guard, she curtsied sarcastically and followed Viserys into the room, only to stand by the door itself as her gaze looked over the massively detailed city that he was constructing.

"This is.... quite the project that you have here, Viserys."

"I have been making it for a long time, I would hope that it looks impressive for all the effort that I put into it" he chuckled, while working on another portion of the city. "But tell me, what brought you here that needed you to threaten that poor young man?"

"I will be blunt Viserys, were you in a drunken stupor when you agreed that Aegon and Halaena should be married? This kingdom follows the faith of the Seven and despite the brutish ways of your ancestors, they should not be married."

His expression hardened and he stopped what he was doing.

"Your Father and Alicent made quite a few points and I saw no harm in them," he said. "If you have any qualms bring it up to either of them."

"But you are King," she stated. "A decision like this cannot be made without your say, so yes there is a few things that you could do to make sure that this marriage doesn't happen."

"We must all do things that are our duty even if we are not fond of them, I am sure that with time they will find it agreeable" he waved it off.

"And you are the speaker of such things?" she scoffed. "Here you hide away from your own children and wife, it is hypocritical to say that they will one day find it agreeable when you can't stand to be in their presence."

"That isn't true!"

"Then explain it to me Viserys! You say that we must all do things that we are not fond of and because of duty, but those children are suffering because of it!" she yelled. "You wanted an heir! Now you have plenty and cannot even spare them a moment of your time or care!"

"My children want for nothing! They are princes and princess of this realm, they have never gone hungry and more things than they could ever want!" he argued. "In time they will learn to grin and bear it, because there are others that would love to be in their place!"

"With parents like theirs, it is punishment enough!"

"Silence! You have said enough!"

"No Viserys, I haven't!" she rushed forward and stood toe to toe with the man. "If I must forfeit my life here, I will do all in my power to ensure that those children have someone fight on their behalf!"

Viserys was practically shaking in anger, but her eyes had a look in them that made the man turn away. "See yourself out, (Y/N)."

"No."

He looked at her in disbelief, "No?"

"No" she echoed. "Until you concede, I will not."

"I am King, I could have you thrown in a cell for this insolence!"

"All I see is a weak man, there is no King here."

It was unnerving how she stared at him, Viserys was used to grown men trembling at his word and groveling for forgiveness at his feet. People pleading that he would find mercy in his heart for them and not following through with his threats.

Yet his good sister refused to back down

His legs shook as he sat down and tried to keep his gaze on her.

"What would you have me do? I have already agreed."

"Allow me to find good matches for the children and that I may have say in what must be done for them" she said simply.

"That is asking for too much, (Y/N)."

"Oh it is merely the start, Viserys."

"What else is there?" he asked.

"We will have many more things to discuss," she smiled. "I hope you are comfortable because changes must be made."

[megalony]

She's Not Here

This is a new Evan Buckley imagine which will have a follow up. I had a few different ideas about this theme and suddenly got inspired. I hope you will all like it, let me know what you think.

Taglist: @lunaticspoem@sj-thefanthefan@hellsdragon@im-an-adult-ish@crazylittlethingg@allauraleigh@onceuponadetectivedemigod@ceres27@avyannadawn@sleepylunarwolf@coverupps@justagirlthatlovedtoread @musicistheway @avada-kedavra-bitch-187 @luula @missdreamofendless @bradleybeachbabe @woderfulkawaii  @amberpanda99 @daggersquadphantom @marvel-and-chicago-fan @angryknightstatesmantrash @minjix @lyjen @kmc1989 @itsmytimetoodream @noonenuts @hiireadstuff @ashie-babie @classyunknownlover @jayyeahthatsme @sp1ritssz @dumb-fawkin-bitch @oliverstarksbae @gimatida @heart-35 @supernaturalstilinski @stefansalvatoresgf @kyky9103 @wutheringhearts2275 @gay4hotmilfs @itshamleth @gillybear17 @chaoticnosleepinfluencer @gs29 @wh0reforsmutstuff @mel-vaz @natashamea18

Evan Buckley Masterlist

Summary: While Evan is on a long weekend at work, (Y/n) takes their girls out with their family. Things don't go to plan when something happens to one of their daughters.

Enjoy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Evan wasn't looking forward to this weekend.

With Hen off on holiday with her family, two new probie's transferred to a different station house that needed them and the local weather warnings going crazy, Evan was hauled in for the weekend. Once he arrived at work today, he would be staying at the station all day Friday, Saturday and Sunday without coming home and he didn't even know what time he was due to finish on Sunday night.

The whole weekend would be spent living at the station with the team and getting what sleep he could in the bunker room. And only God knew how many callouts Evan was going to see this weekend.

Evan wasn't ready for such a long stretch of shifts without coming home. The longest shift he had done was two full days away from home and a while back he did five days in a row, but he had come home to sleep during the night so he at least saw his family; somewhat.

Evan didn't want the balance to shift the wrong way where he lived at the station and visited his home.

He wanted to stay right where he was, laid in bed with his wife in his arms and his daughters close by in their rooms.

A smile wormed its way onto Evan's face when he felt (Y/n) murmur something softly into his chest. He shuffled closer and buried his lips against the top of her head in her hair. His fingers ran up and down her back like feathers tickling over her skin and he felt the way it made her shiver.

He could feel (Y/n)'s lips pressing into his chest, silently letting him know that she was awake too. His body clock had woken him a little while before his alarm and (Y/n) always woke up whenever she felt Evan awake beside her. She didn't sleep well without him which was another reason Evan wasn't too happy about being away from home for two nights and three days.

He would come home to a sleep-deprived wife.

Her fingertips tickled along his back but it was her lips that caught Evan's attention and livened him up. Wet, hollow kisses pressed up his sternum in a slow trail as she tilted her head back until her chin pressed into his chest and she could shimmy up the bed a little. They usually woke up with (Y/n) halfway down the bed and Evan with his head bashing the headboard. He was over six foot so moving an inch down the bed caused his feet to dangle out the bed, something he hated.

The feel of (Y/n)'s lips pressing to his neck made him take in a deep breath but when she grazed her teeth along his skin, he growled into her hair.

This was a better morning wake up than he had a few days ago. He wondered why he dreamt he had been drowning until he realised he had been laid on his back with (Y/n) sprawled out on his chest, making it hard to breathe.

Evan liked mornings like these the best when they woke up before the alarm went off and had time together. He used to be a morning person before he got married. Having (Y/n) in the bed changed his ideals and made it hard to get up now.

And when there was no kids in the bed with them, mornings like this got even better.

"Do you have to go soon?" (Y/n) muttered the words quietly against his neck, her voice laced with sleep but her actions proved she was wide awake.

"Hm, I've got time."

(Y/n)'s eyes shot open and a gasp tumbled past her lips when the arm around her waist tightened and his palm pressed flat against her lower back so he could flip them over. He rolled her onto her back, muffling her quiet laugh as he moved to kneel between her legs. Evan's hands planted down on the pillow either side of her head, caging her in beneath him like she was his prey and his teeth flashed in a sharp grin that looked animalistic.

She brought her hands up to cup his face, smoothing her thumbs over his cheekbones as he leaned down to press a kiss to her lips.

"This has to go," Evan muttered the words quietly against her lips, drinking in the taste of them until he was positively drunk and (Y/n) was gasping against his mouth. His hands moved down to her sides as his weight shifted to rest on his knees so he could scrunch up the bottom of her shirt that clung to her curves like a second skin that left very little to the imagination.

He didn't have to say anything for (Y/n) to lean up so he could slowly peel it off and her grin made his heart jump.

He threw the small, flimsy material down on the floor and gave the cover a nudge until it fell off his back and crumpled to the bottom of the bed. He was starting to burn up already, they didn't need any extra layers covering them.

While he took a moment to admire the view in front of him, (Y/n) took her chance to scrape her nails agonisingly slow over his skin, starting from his abdomen and she worked her way up until her hands were curved around his neck. Her fingers tickled the small hairs at the back of his neck and she sat up to meet him in the middle, moulding her chest against his before she pulled his lips down to hers.

(Y/n) could feel the fever behind his kiss and the way his fingertips dug bruisingly into her hips when she pushed her chest up against him just to irritate him and goad him further.

When she pulled back, (Y/n) sucked his lower lip between her teeth and gave a small tug until she could feel the growl deep within his chest, rumbling through into her own.

"Baby," Evan's groan was deep and the word was a warning.

He didn't have a lot of time before the alarm was going to go off and he didn't like being teased.

Her fingertips slid away from the back of his neck and trailed their way back down the middle of his chest, covering every square inch that she could. Her plump lips left Evan's and moved towards his razor sharp jaw and when she could feel him starting to quiver beneath her, she started to kiss down his neck.

The moment her teeth grazed against the junction between his neck and shoulder, about to leave a mark, Evan suddenly clenched her wrists in a tight grip and leaned his weight onto her again. He pushed her down on the bed and fell forward until his chest slammed into hers and her hands were pinned down on the mattress. Evan tried to keep some of his weight pushed back on his legs and his elbows so he didn't crush his wife beneath him, but he could still feel every crevace of her moulded up against him.

"Hmm, my turn." There was something demanding and authorative in his voice that was not to be messed with and all (Y/n) could do was turn to jelly beneath his touch.

She barely had chance to gasp before Evan smothered her mouth with his and let his tongue explore past her lips.

Wet, panting kisses were peppered along her neck and down the middle of her throat so every time she gasped or swallowed, Evan could feel each movement. He let go of her hands and moved his fingertips across her sides and down the dips and curves to that special area just above her hips where (Y/n) was ticklish. He loved the way her stomach would pull in and she would jump against his touch when all he had to do was lightly trace the pad of his finger along her skin and it had her gasping and laughing beneath him.

"We won't be needing these any more." He hooked his fingers into the top of her underwear and shuffled back on his knees to remove them when (Y/n) lifted her legs.

(Y/n) grinned up at him as he threw the dark red lace to the floor, adding it to the growing pile of clothes. But she let her eyes fall down to watch him roll his boxers past his knees so he could kick them onto the floor. When they were off, (Y/n) sat up and looped her arms back round his neck, desperate to be as close as possible.

"Do you have to leave us for three whole days, Evan?" She knew exactly what kind of reaction she got from using his name and as expected, something burned deeper and darker in his eyes.

She felt his hand move and his arm wrapped like an iron bar around her back just above her bum so he could reel her in and pull her closer. He held her so close and tight that he lifted her up from her bed and she had to shuffle her weight onto the back of her legs to stay tall against him like this. Her hands dug tightly into his shoulders to steady herself, but a silent gasp left her lips when his other hand dug lovingly into the underside of her thigh.

(Y/n) felt her back hit the headboard and her knees coiled up as Evan shifted forward so he was leaning on her chest and kneeled between her spread legs. He looked- and acted- like he always had always belonged there between her thighs, and he always would.

"It's not by choice, baby, I'd much rather stay right here," His voice was gruff and thick but he barely got the last word out before he crashed his lips against hers in a silent battle. He dug his nails tighter into her thigh and moved her leg to hook it around his hip so he could brace his hand on the wall behind the bed. The last thing he wanted was to put all of his weight onto (Y/n) or give her bruises down her spine from the wooden headboard.

"Your alarm," (Y/n) panted against his lips, barely feeling able to speak from how close Evan's lips were hovering over hers. Swallowing up her words and getting ready to attack her lips again. "If the girls hear it, they'll come in here."

(Y/n) knew three out of their four girls would barge into their bedroom if they heard Evan's alarm go off. Usually they would wait for one of their parents to wake them up, but if they happened to hear the alarm, they would know it was time to get up. And they would bustle their way in without knocking or caring at all.

"We've got ten minutes," He muttered back, dragging her lower lip between his teeth as something darkened in his eyes. "Think you can stay quiet, baby?"

Evan leaned down and buried his face in the crook of (Y/n)'s neck, panting against her skin as he flapped his left hand out to turn off his alarm that was now blaring out. His lips curved into a grin when he felt (Y/n) shudder against him as he parted his lips and sank his teeth down into the soft flesh.

"It's starting." (Y/n) mumbled, carding her fingers through Evan's hair as he paused to try and strain his ears.

Evie was crying. Footsteps were crashing about in the next room; Lois was awake. Two out of four of their girls were awake and if Evie was crying, then Minnie would certainly wake up. And if Lois was getting up, she would undoubtedly go into Ellie's room and wake her up too.

"I'll get the baby," (Y/n) cupped Evan's face in her hands so she could peck his lips again. But she didn't get to move far before Evan nudged her back against the bed an gave her thigh a squeeze.

"No, she's mine until I have to leave," With a lasting kiss to her lips and his teeth nipped at the corner of her mouth, Evan pulled away and clambered off the bed.

Evan wanted to help get the girls up and ready for school. He would eat breakfast with his family, take Lois and Ellie to school and then head to the station and wait for the chaos to ensue and the weekend to drag out into a year.

He snapped his pants back over his hips, stretched his arms above his head and left the room to head over into the nursery.

As expected, the one year old was sat up in her cot, tears traced down her face and her hair a mess of curls sticking up at all angles like she had been electrocuted.

"Hi," A grin curved onto Evan's lips and he flashed his teeth as he stretched his arms out to pick Evie up. "Morning baby girl. Come here, you can get ready with daddy, hm?"

Evan loved the way Evie snuggled into his bare chest and tucked her face into his neck. Her small hand curled up into a fist and settled over Evan's chest as her cries instantly ceased at having some contact. Evan swayed from side to side as he pressed his lips down on her temple, making kissing noises until Evie gurgled and squealed.

She couldn't speak yet, she had only just turned one last month. But she was forever making a round of strange noises, and high-pitch squeals was one of her new favourite things to do.

Evie let out a particularly loud squeal as Evan turned around to look across at the small bed on the other side of the room. He looked down at his youngest with raised brows and made a similar noise of excitement just to see his daughter grin.

He let his eyes drift over to the bed and he bent down beside it, reaching a hand out to card his fingers through Minnie's hair as she started to wake up.

"Mornin' little mouse, you gonna get up with me today?"

Her tired, toothy grin made Evan's heart leap in his chest and he smiled brightly when she sat up and held her arms out expectingly. Her head tilted back and she pursed her lips until Evan gave her a kiss and curled his free arm around her so he had one girl in each arm.

He lifted Minnie up, cuddled her for a few seconds, then gently set her down to her feet and let her hold his hand while he made sure Evie was settled on his hip.

Evan could feel the heartache gnawing away at his chest already. Leaving them this morning was going to be near impossible.

"Evan!"

He looked down and shared a look with Minnie as they wandered out the nursery and looked into the hall. Their eyes landed on (Y/n) and Evan bit his lip at the sight, unable to tear his gaze away. She was stood leaning against their bedroom door, one arm crossed over her chest and one knee bent forward, exposing her thighs to his prying gaze.

It was clear (Y/n) had grabbed the closest piece of clothing she could so she was somewhat decent in front of the girls. She was stood in one of Evan's shirt and it was clear to his perceptive gaze that she wasn't wearing a bra or any underwear. And he grinned triumphantly when he noticed her hair was skewed and stuck up at all angles, giving away their morning activity.

Moving her hand, (Y/n) shook her phone from side to side, silently beckoning Evan over to her so he could see what had her looking rather unimpressed and unsettled.

He walked over until he was stood in front of her and raked his eyes up and down her body a few more times until (Y/n) nudged him and held the phone out. Evan leaned down and narrowed his eyes, bouncing Evie on his hip while Minnie started to tug on his hand and slouch up against his leg.

*Hey, Just giving you and Buck a heads up. Mum and dad are coming into town this weekend and they want to spend time with us and the girls. Sorry in advance. XXX

A groan tumbled past Evan's lips and he tilted his head back as he closed his eyes and tried to take a normal breath.

Great. Their parents were coming into town, unannounced, or at least unannounced to Evan. They never told him when they were coming down in case he made plans or tried not to spend much time with them. He and (Y/n)were civil for the sake of the girls, but needless to say, his parents weren't in the girl's lives very much.

Not like Bobby and Athena. At least they were always there for Evan, their daughter, and all four girls. They made Evan glad every day that they were his in-laws and his kids had one set of decent, reliable and loving grandparents.

"You're going to work- for the whole weekend, I'm gonna be stuck with them, not you." (Y/n) bit her lip to hide her smile when Evan looked down at her with those puppy dog eyes.

She wanted to be annoyed with him. She wanted to be angry that he had wormed his way out of this without even having to try. He was working days and nights this weekend, he wasn't coming home until Sunday night so he would likely have one night with his parents before they left. (Y/n) could only presume they were down for the weekend, their trips didn't usually last very long.

(Y/n) and Maddie were going to be the ones entertaining Margaret and Phillip all weekend and being around them while Evan got out of it because of his job.

"I… I'll talk to Bobby, see if I can come back any earlier on Sunday. Baby I am sorry."

Bobby was understanding. He knew Evan's relationship with his parents was very strained and he knew (Y/n) didn't have the best relationship with them either. He might be obliged to let Evan come home Sunday afternoon, he was pulling a lot of overtime this weekend alone because they were short staffed.

(Y/n) folded her arms back over her chest but nodded all the same. She knew it wasn't Evan's fault and they couldn't do very much about it now.

"Morning dad."

Evan's eyes widened and he looked over his shoulder when Lois ran up from behind him and smacked her hand down on his bum before running past him. Her laughter could be heard down the hall as she bolted to the stairs and zoomed down so Evan couldn't get her back.

"Oi!"

"Morning daddy," He tilted his head down towards Ellie when she scurried up next to Minnie and wrapped around his leg. She looked up at him with those big doe eyes that all the girls inherited from (Y/n). Just one look from any of Evan's girls would turn his knees to jelly and make him cave in to just about anything.

"Hi baby. Your gran and grandad are coming down to see you this weekend." He couldn't get his hand free from Minnie's viper grip so Evan settled on leaning over to kiss Ellie's forehead.

"Nanny Nash?" Minnie asked with a wide grin that started to fade when Evan grimaced and shook his head.

Athena was the favourite. She was the grandparent all the girls clung to and wanted to look after them. Whenever Evan's parents came to town, his girls were never enthusiastic or best pleased, and he understood completely. He would choose Bobby and Athena over his own parents every time.

"Oh, grumpy gran?" Ellie murmured quietly with a deflated spirit even as her dad rolled his eyes and her mum laughed.

Evan dreaded to think what was going to happen while he worked away this weekend. What chaos was he going to come home to?

***

"Can we go in the book store?" Lois tilted her head to the right and leaned her cheek on (Y/n)'s arm, staying as close to her mum's side as she could manage.

"Sure, we can go on the way back."

(Y/n) glanced her eyes around their little group and when she looked to the left, she found Maddie smiling tiredly at her.

The weekend seemed to be dragging by as slow as they had ever known it, the minutes dragged into hours and the hours never seemed to pass into days. All day yesterday, Maddie and her parents had spent the day at (Y/n)'s home with the girls. Playing games, catching up and having takeaway for tea. The day had lasted longer than any of them expected.

Since it was Sunday and Maddie and (Y/n) both agreed they didn't want to be shut in the house, they came out. They had left Phillip to his own devices and he said he would probably pop by the station to see Evan and Chimney. While Margaret went with all the girls to the shopping centre for the morning.

It wasn't as bad as (Y/n) expected, Margaret was trying her best to get on with the girls and show an interest in them and that was all she was asking for.

It would have been nice if Athena wasn't working this weekend. She could of joined them and made it a bit more bearable, but (Y/n) had Maddie. The two had the same kind of bond that Maddie had with Evan, for all intents and purposes they were sisters and they stuck together when her parents were around.

"Do you like reading books too?" Margaret looked down at Ellie. The six year old was walking between her and (Y/n), keeping hold of the pram so she didn't get lost in the crowds.

Margaret had offered to hold her hand but Ellie politely declined. She would rather cling to the pram or walk slightly ahead of the group since she was the fast walker out of them all.

"I like when daddy reads to me, he does the funny voices." Ellie pushed her glasses further up her nose and leaned to look up at her mum when (Y/n) slowed down.

Reaching into the bag hanging beneath the pram, (Y/n) found a pre-mixed bottle and gave it a shake before she leaned forwards. She rested her arms on the pram handle and kept walking at a slow pace while she rolled up the blanket covering Evie. She set the bottle on top of the blanket so she didn't have to hold it to feed Evie.

It was an easy trick (Y/n) had learnt early on with the girls that saved a lot of time and effort. Evie was one, she was able enough to sit and take her bottle with it angled down to her and she was starting to hold it herself now too.

"I can feed her if you like."

"No, she's fine." (Y/n) hummed quietly, smiling down at her little girl before she looked around.

It was calming to have Maddie and Margaret with her, it meant (Y/n) didn't have to keep worrying and keeping hold of the girls and make sure they all weren't wandering off or hanging behind. Ellie was on her right near Margaret, Lois was on her left with Maddie on her other side and Minnie was holding Maddie's hand.

(Y/n) would have been a little more relaxed if they had the other pram with them that held both Evie and Minnie. She knew Minnie got tired easily and liked to be carried, the other pram was easier so she didn't grow tired or wander off or walk slow. But they couldn't fit it in the car with them today.

"Shall we go in here?" Maddie pointed to the clothes shop on her left and when they all nodded, the group steered through the crowd and into the store.

The shopping centre wasn't as busy today with it being a Sunday and it was good not to be caught in a crowd or around people pushing and shoving to get past. But this shop in particular looked to be lively and bustling with people hovering around and trying on different items.

Turning to her left, Lois tugged on Maddie's sleeve and leaned closer to her aunt before she pointed towards the escalator.

"Can we look at the Disney stuff?"

It was no secret that Lois and Maddie had a connection. She was the eldest of all Evan's daughters. Maddie had brought Evan up and she had been so thrilled when he had his first child. She was always round to take Lois out and spend some one to one time with her. Then as the other girls were born, she took them all out.

But Maddie and Lois usually ended up picking matching clothes from the stores, like the Disney shirts they always chose in the adult and children's section. Or the matching family pyjamas they came home with last time they went out.

"Of couse, we need some new tops, don't we?" Maddie grinned down at her and moved so Minnie could stand next to (Y/n) while she and Lois made a beeline for the escalator.

"What do you want to look at, baby?" (Y/n) darted her eyes between Ellie and Minnie. She knew Minnie didn't really care, she was just happy to be scouting round looking at all the pretty things whereas Ellie and Lois had preferences.

"Blankets?" Ellie whispered before she took the lead towards the right side of the shop on the ground floor.

They had homeware at the back of the store and Ellie loved collecting new fluffy blankets and pillows to snuggle into. She had more pillows on her bed to the point she could barely fit in her bed anymore.

"Come on- Minnie no this way,"

(Y/n)'s eyes switched between Ellie who was already disappearing out of sight, and Minnie who was aiming for the escalator. She wanted to follow Maddie and Lois. She had a nose for all the Disney items and Minnie Mouse was her favourite, obviously.

"I'll get her, we can find her something upstairs to match those little ears." With a hand on (Y/n)'s shoulder, Margaret smiled at her before she aimed after the three year old.

Since Evan found a pair of Minnie Mouse ears and a bright red bow sewn onto a headband, Minnie had scarcely taken them off. She wore them almost every day. She was so used to Evan calling her his 'little mouse' that if he said her name, she now thought she was in trouble. Evan barely called the girls by their names anymore, they each had their own petname with him and they all loved it.

Leaning forward, (Y/n) took the half-finished bottle from Evie and placed it back in the bag hanging beneath the pram. She was asleep.

For the past few weeks, whenever Evan did a night shift and came home, he and Evie would have a power nap after dinner. And Minnie usually fell asleep with them too.

After wandering around for a few minutes, Ellie found a dark grey teddy fleece blanket that felt like a cloud. She held it up towards (Y/n) and grinned. "Can we get this one?" She looped it around her shoulders as soon as (Y/n) nodded and wore it like a cape.

(Y/n) knew what would happen with that blanket. Ellie wouldn't let any of her sisters use it. She had a thing about blankets or pillows being washed, the fluffy ones always felt crimped and deflated after being washed. So Ellie would keep the blanket out of reach of others so it wouldn't have to be put in the washer.

"Let's go see what's upstairs."

Ellie led the way towards the back of the store and pushed the button for the lift, standing dutifully beside the pram while they waited.

"When's daddy coming home?"

"I'm not sure, sometime tonight I think, baby. He might be home for tea." She hadn't heard from Evan since last night when he rang to talk to the girls before they went to bed. (Y/n) knew her husband and dad had been busy this weekend and she knew Evan would be in need of some sleep when he finally came home. She didn't want to message him and bother him when he was busy, it would be better to just wait and be surprised when he finally came home.

When the lift opened, (Y/n) followed Ellie and let her lead the way between clothes racks and shelves stocked with various jumpers and shirts and bottoms. They passed the boys section and moved towards the other side where there was a large corner dedicated to Disney items.

They found Maddie and Lois easily. The two were stood with a few clothes draped over Maddie's arm and Lois's pigtails shook from side to side when she tilted her head left to right.

"What have you girls found?" (Y/n) folded her arms over the pram handle and leaned forward, clicking her spine into place. She smiled softly at them as Lois held out the shirt that she found which Maddie had got the matching adult one to. It was a pale grey short-sleeved shirt with the Disney castle painted on the front in baby blue and had Tinkerbell in the top left corner.

"We found you one too." Lois held a matching shirt out towards Ellie who brightened up and gingerly took the top.

She moved to stand closer to Maddie and looked along the rack with Lois to see what other designs they had. While (Y/n) looked around for her mother in law.

"Where's Minnie?"

Margaret was slowly approaching their group, her handbag slung down on her elbow instead of her shoulder. She had a tired smile on her face and a onesie in her hand that (Y/n) could only presume was meant for Evie. But she didn't have Minnie clinging to her arm or pulling her in the other direction or showing her around.

"She's- oh, she's wandered again." Looking to her right, Margaret's tired smile softened somewhat and she turned to backtrack the way she had just come from. She hadn't been holding Minnie's hand because the toddler was always pulling this way and that. It was easier to follow Minnie around or let her trail behind her than keep hold of her hand all the time.

"She was with mum a moment ago." Maddie smiled and did a quick scan of their surroundings. "I'm sure she's found something she wants."

There weren't many people up on this floor, the shop had been much busier downstairs in the adult section which was good for the girls. They could roam around up here without getting in the way or bumping into people.

(Y/n) nodded, but she could feel her smile fading when she watched Margaret walk back over to them, empty-handed and without a smile.

"She… she was just here."

A shudder tore through (Y/n)'s blood and she locked eyes with Maddie who started to bite down on her lip, all traces of a smile gone from her face. Minnie wasn't the kind of child to wander far. She was a nervous child by nature, she didn't like being far from her family, but she was likely to talk to strangers. The first time she went to the station to meet Evan's team, she talked to anyone and everyone and followed them around.

If people were friendly with her, she assumed they were nice and safe to be around.

Without saying anything, (Y/n) reached out and deadlocked her hand around Ellie's nimble fingers. She tugged the six year old into her side when she noticed Maddie take Lois's hand out of instinct and fright. She left the pram next to her sister in law and strode off, Ellie rushing at her side.

"Minnie? Minnie, baby come here."

"Minnie… Minnie?" Ellie raised her voice and sniffed, pushing her glasses further up her nose as she leaned to look for her sister. But she felt her mum pull her back to her side. She wasn't having any of the girls stray further than arms-length away from her until Minnie was back at her side.

They scoured around the shop, looking behind racks, peering through clothes on hangers to see if Minnie was weaving through the garments or trying to play hide and seek. But she never liked that game. She feared no one would find her if she found a good hiding spot.

They circled around the teddies, looked through the empty fitting room and looped past the escalator and back towards Maddie.

Maddie was stood with her arm around Lois and the pushchair in front of her, near the escalator. She had a store worker in front of her. This didn't look good.

"-She's three and she's wandered off."

"I can't find her up here, I'm checking downstairs." (Y/n) didn't believe for a second that Minnie would go down that escalator on her own, nor would she get into a lift without one of her sisters or her mum or auntie with her. But she wasn't up here, and (Y/n) couldn't do constant circles up here, praying her daughter would pop out of thin air.

She clenched Ellie's hand tighter and grabbed the pram with her other hand, steering towards the lift while Maddie and Lois went down the escalator together.

"Minnie?"

(Y/n) could feel tears burning in her eyes when she watched Maddie and Lois burn through the crowds and scatter around the shop. She watched Margaret go towards the entrance of the shop and grab the security guard and that only escalated (Y/n)'s panic.

Minnie wouldn't leave without them. She wouldn't walk out of here alone, but (Y/n) didn't know if her toddler would leave with anyone else. She wouldn't just leave them willingly, would she?

"Mum?" Fright flooded through Ellie's voice and she leaned her head on (Y/n)'s arm and stared up at her.

When (Y/n) noticed the tears falling behind Ellie's glasses, she gulped harshly and pulled on her hand. "Do not let go of me." She instructed before they set off into a sprint, looking anywhere and everywhere they could.

Ellie grabbed the pram with her free hand to steady herself as she stumbled beside her mum, trying to look for her little sister. Tears blurred her eyes and she sniffed. None of her sisters had ever gone missing before. They had never wandered or come close to being lost, ever.

By the time they looped back to the entrance after two rounds of scouting round the ground floor, (Y/n) could barely breathe.

They checked all the racks, all the shelves and units Minnie could hide in or behind. They stopped people to ask if they had seen a toddler matching Minnie's description, but no one had seen her. Some women trailed behind (Y/n), calling out Minnie's name and trying to help locate her, but it was becoming apparent that Minnie was no longer in this store.

The checkouts had ceased operation, all staff encouraging people to stop and group together in the middle of the store so Minnie couldn't hide behind people if she was still here. Workers scattered through the shop to look for her and security weren't letting people in or out of the shop without being talked to and checked first.

"She isn't here." Shallow, rumbling breaths passed through (Y/n)'s lips and she let a few tears trace down her face.

Evie was stirring in the pram from all the rushing about and the sudden commotion. Ellie was now whimpering into (Y/n)'s arm. Lois was crying and clutching Maddie like she thought she was going to become lost too. Maddie was fighting off tears of panic and Margaret was shaking, unable to talk at all.

"Come and stand out here, away from the commotion. My colleagues aren't allowing anyone in or out, if she's still in there they will find her soon." The security guard moved his hand to Maddie's shoulder and kindly motioned for them to follow him. They couldn't stand in the doorway and talk when panic was growing inside the shop and the bustle was getting louder.

(Y/n) could feel her stomach churning and she knew in a few minutes, if her daughter wasn't back in her arms, she was going to be sick.

Her legs turned to jelly as she shuffled away from the shop and out into the centre of the mall. Her eyes scanned around rapidly but she couldn't keep in focus. All she wanted was to look for her daughter. She just wanted to see Minnie wearing her headband, bounding her way, crying out for her or laughing.

(Y/n) couldn't make sense of the people passing by. Anyone with a pushchair, she tried to move closer to and check to make sure they hadn't strapped her daughter in them. She watched women walk past, holding tighter to their child's hands as if they could sense the looming panic.

"She's not here." It was the only thing that (Y/n) could process.

Her daughter wasn't here. She wasn't in the shop. She wasn't anywhere in their sights. She had disappeared and no one had noticed. No one had stopped her or anyone around her. They let her walk right past them. Where had she gone?

"Can you show me a recent picture and describe what she was wearing? We'll get an announcement out and put security on every exit, just to be safe."

"Um…" A look passed between (Y/n) and Maddie before Maddie got out her phone and scrolled through for a picture of Minnie. She had thousands of pictures of her nieces, it wouldn't be hard to find a recent one. "S-she's wearing a purple dress, with white flowers, and white tights. Red shoes,"

"Her headband," Lois looked from her aunt to her mum. They would spot Minnie from a mile away with her headband.

"Yes! It's a Minnie Mouse headband, big black ears and a pink bow in the centre, s-she wouldn't take that off."

"Does she have any nicknames she might respond to?"

"Um… her dad calls her little mouse…" (Y/n) couldn't think of any other nicknames they used for her. Evan had so many petnames for the girls, but that was the only one he seemed to use for Minnie, and (Y/n) either called her by her name or baby. She didn't use many other terms that Minnie would respond to.

"Shop's clear."

Those two words crackled through the security guard's radio pinned to his shoulder and it made (Y/n)'s blood go cold. She barely heard Margaret whimper that she was going to look round for her. She couldn't feel Ellie sobbing into her arm or Maddie gripping her elbow tightly.

All (Y/n) could feel was the way her ribs were aching with each breath she took like they had splintered and were puncturing into her lungs. Each thud of her heartbeat had her chest aching and make her skin prickle with heat and droplets of cold sweat. She could feel her head pounding and pulsing, her knees going weak and her throat closing up as her stomach did summersaults.

She wasn't in the store. She had gotten out into the shopping centre. She could be out of the centre already. She could be in somebody's car, walking down the street, getting into a taxi or on the bus. Minnie could be on her way out of their lives by now.

No one was helping fast enough.

"I'm calling 911, I'll get Josh on the line and get him to set up contact with Athena."

Maddie squeezed (Y/n)'s shoulder and took a few steps away towards the seating area in front of them. She sat Lois down beside her and curved her arm around her eldest niece, tucking her under her arm like a bird offering her protection beneath her wing. Even as she got her phone from her bag, Maddie could feel her sister in law staring at her. Checking Lois wasn't about to disappear too.

Clenching Ellie's hand tightly in hers, (Y/n) went numb as she walked over to Maddie. An air of calmness surrounded her as if she had left her body behind. She sat Ellie down next to Lois and moved the pram behind them before she turned and took a few steps away.

When the security guard reached out for her, she shook her head and pulled away. She didn't want touch or help or comfort. She wanted her daughter back in her arms.

She didn't feel or see herself moving until her phone was in her hand and the dialling tone was suddenly ringing in her ear.

Her body cringed and pulled inwards when a tanoid announcement roared through the air like shockwaves rippling through the sky. Minnie's description. Her age, her height, her clothes and hair and headband, all circulating through the speakers. Asking anyone to find her, approach her and take her to the nearest security or safety point.

"Hello?"

Bobby. She had called her dad. Of course she had. She didn't know whether Evan was out on a call or getting a shower or busy doing inventory. He might not have his phone to hand whereas her dad was more likely to answer.

"Dad, is Evan with you?" Her voice came out so quiet and meek that (Y/n) barely recognised it as her own. She could hear the wobble in her words and the way her voice cracked like it was glass heating up and fracturing into pieces.

"Yeah, we're just about to sit down for dinner. Why, what's wrong?"

"Oh God…"

She couldn't say it. She couldn't say what was wrong or what was running through her head. All she could do was lean forwards like she was going to be sick with one arm around her stomach and the other clenching her phone tight.

Tears streamed down her face, her vision blurred and her throat felt like it was swelling up as she gasped and wheezed down the line.

"(Y/n)… (Y/n) honey, calm down." His words did nothing to alleviate the panic in (Y/n)'s heart and she couldn't stop crying now she had started. "Buck, we've got a situation."

"Baby, it's me. What's going on?"

"Minnie's gone."

"What?"

What the Hell did that mean? Where had she gone? What were they doing- where were they? How had she gone, was she hurt, run off, taken, fallen down somewhere, stuck in a taxi or on the bus or somewhere away from them? What did that mean?

(Y/n) rattled her hand through her hair but she had to wind her arm back around her stomach again. The pressure felt good, it felt calming and grounding to have that touch and try to prevent herself from being sick.

"We- we're all in the shopping centre… she went with your mum and Maddie but she's disappeared. Evan we can't find her anywhere, security haven't seen her… M-Maddie's calling the police… I d- I don't know what to do."

She pulled the phone away from her ear so she could wipe her sleeve beneath her eyes and nose. She was suddenly glad that her back was turned to the girls, she didn't like them seeing her cry.

"Fuck! Oh shit… look, I'm gonna come down there now, okay? I- I'll get down to you, if you find her before I get there call me. You hear anything you call me. Try not to panic, sweetheart, she- she might have wandered off after someone, look what she was like at the Christmas party."

Evan felt like the world was crashing down around him.

His little girl wouldn't just wander off without anyone. She didn't follow after people or run away or stray far from whoever she was out with. And she was only three, she wouldn't do this on purpose to cause a scene or create panic or because she thought this was a funny game to play.

His free hand slammed down on the table so hard and fast everyone froze. Hen stopped serving up lunch, people began to put down their plates as slowly as they could manage, and all eyes landed on Evan.

He turned to look over at Bobby, and realising that he still had Bobby's phone, he handed it over with (Y/n) still on the line. "Call Athena."

His voice turned raspy and his blue eyes darkened as tears pooled on his lashes and his face began to turn a very worrying shade of red. He pushed his chair back and scrambled to turn around, even as Eddie reached out to stop him and Bobby rushed from the table. His daughter was crying on the phone and Evan was trying to leave. No one was telling him what was happening.

"Buck!"

He shrugged off Eddie's touch and bolted from the table, checking his pockets for his phone and his wallet. He needed to find his keys from his locker and leave. He had to get down there and get in that shopping centre. Evan needed to scout round every inch of that building. Every corner, every crevace, every hidden crook and cranny, he needed to look round them all.

He needed to watch and search every person who tried to leave and every car needed to be stopped and checked.

"Buck what's going on?"

"One of my daughters is missing."

[theoldsports]

Moody.

Coriolanus Snow x Reader | 3.3k words

depression, arguing, manipulation/toxic marriage, fucking each other over, possessiveness. it’s tamer than some of my others in an objective sense, but emphasizes dark thoughts and internal monologue.

requests always open! thanks for your kindnesses. i think this one is more experimental than the others. the objective here was to show how both of them mimic regular human feelings because they know they should, but it’s a poor pantomime. two sickos with nothing else but each other <3 i think i am going to call these works the Truculent series.

Coriolanus grew cold fast and did not tolerate heat well. He only slept only in his underclothes and wore heavy layers at the first sight of winter. His alarmingly fair complexion meant excessive sun wasn’t in the cards. In spite of his name, his scrappy build wasn’t meant to cut through harsh January terrain either. His nails chipped at labor, and his mind grew uneasy at laziness.

The world was tough on Coriolanus and he was tough right back on the word.

There was little Coriolanus was designed to do. Many people were strong, or smart, or wealthy, or drop-dead-gorgeous, or violent, or talented. There was something about every person Coriolanus could think of that made them stand out. He could easily categorized people by them. Here was the group of people known for their beautiful voices; here, those who could benchpress four-hundred pounds… Coriolanus could not be quantified like that.

Coriolanus Snow had to take what was left, like a runt. He was only good at two things: enduring and controlling. Since those were the only options leftover for him, Coriolanus became the best at them both. When, like Coriolanus, one has been gifted such shitty talents and nothing else, they have to figure out how to use them well enough to win against everyone with a better gift. Eventually, he realized his talents were not the ability to endure and the ability to control, but actually the ability to win. Eventually, he won so much, Coriolanus forgot there was ever a time when he lost (most days).

(The days he didn’t forget were the Bad Days).

Coriolanus felt like he couldn’t get out of bed on the Bad Days when the crushing weight of his failures and his ego landed across his chest. He told himself he was done with love after Lucy Gray. Disgusting Lucy Gray, a name he never wanted to even think again. He thought he would marry someone he hated and be done with love.

But junkies and addicts quit every Monday anyway.

Once he found [Y/N] again after their childhood together, there was no quitting. He knew it was bad for him, so he married what was bad for him to make sure he had an endless supply. How he hated that familiar feeling of obsession, the feeling of being so desperate that he had to rely on something other than himself. Somehow, he would have to sustain the feeling without losing his girl like an idiot. Marriage was likely the thing to steel their attempt at a bond.

Upon waking up to the alarm that morning, Coriolanus knew this was one of those Bad Days. Maybe it was the weather, the stress of Games. First year as head Gamemaker had almost driven Coriolanus mad under the pressure to succeed. He reached over to turn off the clock that buzzed painfully at six in the morning every day ending with a Y.

“Coryo…” [Y/N] mumbled, hearing him stir beside her. The sound must have woken her. She tossed an arm over his chest.

“‘Mornin’, Darling,” Coriolanus replied, wishing he were dead.

[Y/N] immediately picked up on the flatness of his tone, but she knew better than to push him too far. “All good?” She asked.

Coriolanus grumbled passively. He rarely did anything passively. Coriolanus grabbed the hand over his chest and dragged it up to the side of his face to rest it there, but only after he had kissed [Y/N] palm.

“You’re affectionate this morning.”

“I just missed you. I’ve been busy.” He said dismissively, pressing his face further into her hand.

“Well, thanks, dear, but don’t you have work?” [Y/N] asked. She propped her chin up on his shoulder to stare at him inquisitively. This attitude was odd. First thing in the morning during Games seasons, she got a kiss on the forehead and then Coriolanus was gone for a run and a shower and out til nightfall, barring special occasions.

“Don’t you?”

“Not til early evening today. Normally, you’re up and out of here first thing on a Tuesday morning,” [Y/N] told him, as she rubbed from his cheek to the side of his throat gently. She dragged her hand up his face to rest on his worried forehead. “You sick, or something?”

“No.” Coriolanus replied weakly. He closed his eyes again. He couldn’t face the legendary blunder he had made at work. Coriolanus had allowed his aides to code the program for the arena wrong. The open water was nowhere near as deep as was needed for the aquatic muttations. It was causing all sorts of trouble. The Games would end too fast if he didn’t do something, yet the stress of thinking of reaching across the nightstand for his Communicuff was paralyzing.

“You sure? You don’t feel feverish,” She confirmed. [Y/N] sat up to press her lips to his forehead just in case her cold hands had misread his temperature. “I can call the doctor, though.”

“[Y/N], stop. I’m fine.” Coriolanus lied harshly. He tried to sit up, but his psychological anguish made him feel like vomiting.

“Call in. Stay here.” She suggested, watching his weak movement to sit up.

“I’m head Gamemaker, I don’t get to call in. I need to go for a run’n I’ll be fine.”

[Y/N] raised an eyebrow. “So you aren’t currently fine? Because you said—“

“I know what the fuck I said, okay?” Coriolanus barked. “Wanna recap anything else, or can I go?”

Sharply, [Y/N] scooted away from him to the other side of the bed. His moods were hardly predictable. She sighed. “Fine,” She said, averting her eyes to her hands like a scolded girl. “I was merely concerned that you—“

Coriolanus scoffed at her and shakily stood up from the bed. He quickly stepped into the closet and stepped joggers and a wifebeater. [Y/N] hoped he would grab a jacket as well; the weather was much too cold for mid summer. The Capitol itself got disproportionately cold often. She didn’t say anything out loud, though. “Get off my ass. Can’t you sit there and be grateful for once? With all that I do for you?Fucking hell.” Coriolanus said. He did not so much as look back at her as he stormed out of the bedroom.

[Y/N] could not understand what she had done wrong. The only things she had were provided through Coriolanus or simply the man himself. Once Coriolanus was presumed out of earshot, [Y/N] dropped her head into her hands and cried. Not tears of frustration or anger, but tears of self-pity that her one lifeline had yelled at her like that.

—

By the time Coriolanus returned from his run, it appeared his wife had gone out for the day. Strange since she usually capitalized on the extra sleep if she was not working downtown with Capitol News until evening shift. Since their reckless young adulthood of media stunts, Coriolanus had watched [Y/N] grow a stifling love for spectacle. With his support and their shared deranged name recognition, she had quickly risen from an editor, to a correspondent (brief. He had helped her but her way up and out of that position) to Associate Head of Programming for Capitol News. It helped to have his wife steer both their media narratives from the inside.

Except for when she was mad at him.

Coriolanus wiped the sweat off his brow in the shower as he thought. There was no doubt in his mind that [Y/N] was going to run some sort of primetime bulletin that made him look a fool during his Games coverage that night. It was bad enough that Lucky Flickerman was beginning to look like botox had gotten better of him, in addition to Coriolanus’ own fuck up with the muttations. Fact of the matter was that viewership was down and [Y/N] was going to make it worse. She was going to make his Bad Day worse and he knew it.

He could feel his heart rate racing as he stood under the shower’s cold stream. His equally cold blue eyes glanced across the bathroom at the clock. Six-fifty AM. Realistically, he need to be into the Gameroom by no later than eight-thirty, but it frustrated him to be in later than eight. In roughly an hour, how could he perform the maximum amount of damage control? Coriolanus’ head began to ache at the thought.

She had never run that harsh of a piece on him before, but it was a Bad Day, and no doubt she was angry with him for his attitude. [Y/N] was capable of a great many horrible things. Wouldn’t Coriolanus himself want to sting somebody back who he had known was pissy with him?

When he exited the shower, Coriolanus rushed to dress himself. [Y/N] said she wasn’t working until late. But where, then, had she gone? With all the thinking about his own feelings, he hadn’t considered that conundrum.

—

Coriolanus called her secretary, a boring woman with a name neither man nor wife could recall. According to that woman, [Y/N] had not gone early to work. He rang Tigris. Tigris said [Y/N] had not been over unless she was lying which Coriolanus wouldn’t put past her. The Plinths swear they had not encountered her.

Coriolanus stared down at his datapad of phone numbers. He refrained from calling all of their friends because he didn’t want to to exude the panic he was starting to feel for letting his wife run away. None of her belongings seemed out of place. Her suitcase was present in the back of their closet. Still, Coriolanus was terrified in the back of his mind that his wife had finally left him. A year and half was a dreadful lifespan for a marriage in his opinion. [Y/N] was not getting away that easily.

However, his watch told him it was eight and the Games weren’t going to run themselves.

Throughout the day, Coriolanus could not get his heart rate to settle. It made him feel ill. So ill, in fact, that he couldn’t keep down most of breakfast, or all of lunch. He skipped dinner all together. Who was [Y/N] to up and leave him like that?

The slight rational segment of his brain told him to walk it back, but the rest of his brain paid no mind. Coriolanus had nothing going for him other than gut instincts and his gut instincts now were implying something was fundamentally wrong.

Coriolanus’ decision-making was way off of its game at work. Coriolanus, for ratings, could not allow the Hunger Games to end on a Tuesday night. Somehow, he would have to create obstacles to last the four remaining tributes til Friday. He didn’t much like those odds. He was going to cave and hand in his resignation before the end of the day, he was certain.

Though, at eight in the evening, the primetime announcement or chiron that Coriolanus was a shitty husband or a murderer never cut through his broadcast to make his Day irreparably Bad. Nor did it at eight-thirty, or even nine. Coriolanus felt shaky. Maybe with relief for his reputation, maybe because he had nothing in his system.

If nothing had aired at Coriolanus’ expense on TV, had something happened to [Y/N] while he was on his run, or later? Was this some rebel attempt to bring the head Gamemaker to his knees? An attempt from a bitter rival to play games with him? Coriolanus frowned. Many things could have happened to his wife between six in the morning and nine at night. Coriolanus could barely stand up as it was. He clocked out and summoned his driver as quick as he could.

The second Coriolanus’ key entered the lock, he started shouting with the energy he had left. The door had yet to even close behind him. “[Y/N]! [Y/N], my love! Are you here?” Coriolanus pushed open every cabinet and closet on his way to the bedroom. Empty. He checked the closet - her suitcase remained. Coriolanus had called her office on his way home. She had not shown up for work. Unheard of.

Coriolanus ran through every room of the townhouse shouting [Y/N]’s name over and over until he felt hoarse. He could only imagine what the neighbors thought. Then he saw the attic door open.

The door remained open, but the stairs to the attic had snapped back up halfway and gotten jammed. “Coryo!” He heard [Y/N] yell faintly from upstairs.

“Darling, are you… in the attic?” Coriolanus shouted back cautiously under the open door. He watched as [Y/N]’s tearstained face peered around the edges of the attic door. It was really her. Not a Jabberjay, not a setup. Coriolanus exhaled for what felt like the first time all day. “Let me come up. I’ll come to you. Hold on!” Coriolanus’ finally left behind the Bad Day as he leapt into action. Protecting his wife was his job before Gamemaker, or any other obligation. Anyone in the Capitol would remember their vows, or her smashing cake into his face much to his dismay. Marriage was socially his most binding contract of all. Coriolanus did not take contractional obligations lightly.

Coriolanus had not realized that his wife was so delicate and helpless as to get stuck in the attic. She needed him more than he thought. His heart swelled with pride. Coriolanus grabbed a broomstick and hooked the hinge in the stairs. He yanked with all his strength until the ladder descended. Quickly, he dropped a large sack of rice from the kitchen counter over the bottom step in hopes it would weight the stairs down and he took off up them.

“[Y/N], are you alright?” Coriolanus asked, popping his head through the attic door

There on the unfinished attic floor sat [Y/N], bundled up in her thin teddy she had been wearing when Coriolanus left. She had only that and a too-short blanket Tigris had crocheted as a child. There was very little in the attic at all. Some of the Grandma’am’s belongings in clear glass bins and whatever surviving relics had carried on from their post-war childhoods.

It was clear [Y/N] had been crying. “I thought you would come back.” She sniffled.

Coriolanus urgently climbed the rest of the way up the ladder and sat carefully down beside [Y/N], wrapping her in his long arms possessively. “I thought something happened to you,” Also, that you tried to leave me. “You’re freezing… How long have you been up here?”

“Since you went on your run.”

“Shit… All that time?”

[Y/N] thought her tears had long since stopped, but seeing Coriolanus appear upset about ignoring her all day made her want his attention more. She wanted him to feel bad.

The tears started flowing the second his arms were looped around her waist. [Y/N] rested her head on Coriolanus’s shoulder heavily. “Coryo, you just left. I come up here all the time to think and I didn’t think it would—“

The blonde man’s heart softened at the sight of her. “Darling, Darling, shh, don’t cry,” Coriolanus combed his hand through sobbing [Y/N]’s hair. “You’re okay. I’m here now.”

Coriolanus felt like he was able to play the role of comforter and protector nobly tonight in a way he had recently felt inadequate at. With ease, he draped her legs across his lap and adjusted her arms around his neck so that her body was completely supported by his. She clung to him like a desperate child. The skin-to-skin contact was most appreciated by Coriolanus after the Day he’d had. Coriolanus excitedly drew a breathe from her neck, taking in her scent.

[Y/N] sobbed dramatically into Coriolanus’ dress shirt, but he pretended not to care like a good husband. “I’m sorry. I c-couldn’t—couldn’t get down. I th-thought you would come get me. I shout-ted for you,” she played up her tears. [Y/N] played up everything for attention; they both knew that. But the situation was mutually beneficial for people that liked attention so damn much. “You didn’t hear me.” You never hear me.

“Oh, Princess…” Coriolanus rubbed his hands up and down her arms, hoping it would warm her up. He pulled away from her regrettably and stripped off his blazer. He wrapped it around her shoulders and pulled it carefully in front of her. He knew [Y/N] would like the gesture. Now, Coriolanus did not say I’m sorry. It was not his fault that [Y/N] had fled to the attic. He did instead try to make good from now forward. “I was so worried, I started to think something happened to you. I wanted to give you space, but then I didn’t hear from you all day. I’m relieved to know the only monster that got you was the attic,” Coriolanus leaned into her neck to kiss her in his favorite place. “You sat up here in all this junk and dust today; how are you still so stunning?”

[Y/N] laughed through a wet sniffle as Coriolanus searingly kissed her neck. “I didn’t know I’d worried you this much.” She muttered.

“I didn’t know I’d upset you this much,” Coriolanus agreed. That was as close to I’m sorry as she was going to get. “What did you do up here all day?”

“W-Went through some boxes. Found your old uniform.” [Y/N] smiled back.

“My Peacekeeper uniform?” Coriolanus asked in surprise. He hoped that she had not found anything else, if there was anything more scathing up in the attic.

“Mhm,” she affirmed. [Y/N] stood shakily from the floor, snot dripping from her nose. Snot, which she knew better than to wipe on the sleeve of his blazer. She followed where the beams were in the floor nimbly so she didn’t put her foot through the ceiling below her. [Y/N] collected a decently sized metal crate with a handle on it. PRIVATE SNOW, CORIOLANUS B. was stamped on top of the dusty, dented metal. She carried it back to Coriolanus and sat down with it in front of him.

“I didn’t go through everything in here, that felt intrusive, but I did pull this out,” they both knew that was a lie and that she had absolutely gone through every item, but Coriolanus let her keep going without cutting in. [Y/N] decided she would still let him explain the history behind every item he wanted to share anyway.

When she shook the long gray-blue jacket out of the box, something happened that hadn’t happened last time she took the jacket out. “Coriolanus, what’s this?” [Y/N] asked, plucking a bulky chain off the floor that had tumbled from the coat’s breast pocket.

“Ah, I’d forgotten where those went. Dog tags from my time in Twelve.” Coriolanus said.

“I still have my father’s. You were like a real soldier then, huh?”

“Peacekeeper.” Coriolanus corrected.

“Yes, Peacekeeper.” [Y/N] agreed quietly.

[Y/N] held the two identical pendants in her hands.

SNOW, CORIOLANUS

CITADEL, CAPITOL

4147769218S 12

O NEG

CREMATE

His entire identity all on two pieces of nickel. While she squinted at the embossed metal, Coriolanus leaned forward across the box that had once held his entire world and grabbed the chain she was holding as well as her hands. [Y/N]’s red weepy eyes met his crystal clear blue ones. “Would you like them?”

“You don’t want to keep them?”

“Certainly not. My name right there on your chest? That’s preferable to them sitting in a dusty box forever. People will know who you belong to if you wander off like this again. ‘Know you’re not, hm, like… up for finders-keepers.” Coriolanus shifted them out of [Y/N]’s hands and dropped the chain around her neck as if it were the finest gold necklace he had ever purchased her.

Coriolanus put that box up in the attic because he had not wanted to think about it ever again. Above all, though, Coriolanus Snow was an opportunistic man and he put those dog tags on [Y/N] just like he had Lucy Gray because he knew this move was flattering. If it worked once, it would work again. Sickeningly, he pulled out the same words he had used before too: “There. All mine.”

“All yours.” [Y/N] replied.

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