#And then the Jemima one is me experimenting on how creature-like I can make them

[painted-lemon]

Here are some bad Cats sketches because I haven't posted in a while

[porkchop-ao3]

A Thrill I’ve Never Known (Chapter 12)

Jemima Jones II

Reader meets a strange new member of the Van Der Linde gang and they pull off a job together! Contains criminal activity, of course.

(All chapters tagged with #ATINK and also posted on Ao3, username PorkChop)

  -

A few long days passed without another word from Dutch. He seemed satisfied enough by my willingness to help the gang make money, and he'd left the ball in my court. It was up to me to get the wheels turning on the robbery, but everyone at the camp was so busy I was starting to worry I'd never get the job done. That was until a new face walked into camp, a man I hadn't seen before but Dutch seemed to recognise. Micah, a slightly ratty looking feller with blond hair and a certain swagger about him that was complacent at best, downright arrogant at worst. Dutch pointed him in my direction first chance he got, grabbing the opportunity to pair us up on my job. 

"Hello, miss, there's certainly a lot of new faces around here. You'd think we were some kind of charity," was his very first greeting. I stood up from where I was kneeling, washing some clothes. 

"Well, I'm not a charity case, Mr, uh, Mr. Bell, was it?" I said, holding my hand out for him to shake. He looked at it for a long time before actually shaking it, and he was a little rough. 

"I've been told you've got some work for me." 

"I suppose I have, if Dutch's given you your orders, I guess we're doing this together. It's a house, quite a ways away. About halfway between here and Annesburg."

"You want me to go all the way over to Annesburg? For what, a few trinkets?" Micah scoffed and shook his head. 

"Only half way there," I cocked a brow at him. "John rode over there before, he said it looked promising. And the woman is expecting me. When she gave me that address she was under the impression I was a servant girl looking for work, she lives there with her husband and her son, my plan is to go over there and meet the family, have myself a little interview, while you–”

"While I sneak in and rob them blind, how very creative," he rolled his eyes, and I narrowed mine.

"If you'd prefer not to do this, I'm happy to wait a while until John is available. I know he's got another job going on right now, but this house ain't going anywhere."

"No, I'll do it. But I get a bigger cut than you," he pointed at me.

"Of course. I'm just a distraction, and I ain't doing this for myself anyway," I shrugged, walking away from him. "I'm gonna get changed, then we can head off now."

Micah followed me. 

"Ain't you gonna explain some of the finer details? How're we doing this, you go in the front, I go in the back, we meet up behind the stables or what?" 

"We can talk about that on the way, John sketched me a layout of the land, where everything is, I have an idea," I explained, picking up the dress Mary-Beth had lent to me once again, since I couldn't go robbing this woman wearing the clothes I'd stolen from her. I walked around the back of the girls' wagon, out of sight from the camp where I usually changed. 

"Are you going to stand there and watch me get undressed or may I have some privacy?" I asked when Micah followed me around the corner. A smirk appeared on his face.

"I don't know, I ain't opposed to watching if you're offering, darling," he sneered, looking me up and down. 

"Get out of here," I waved him off, glowering, and he turned and left with a lecherous chuckle. 

-

It took us a while to ride out there and on the way I told Micah my plan. He listened to me surprisingly attentively, only butting in to ask the occasional question; overall he seemed pretty satisfied by what I'd told him. We were going to stop our horses a fair way away from the house and I'd walk up to the front, get in the house and get settled with the family. Micah would approach only when I was inside, and he'd find a way into the house while I was speaking to them, I'd keep them occupied while he cleaned out as much as he could. Then, I'd ask to see the stables, leaving the house empty for him to finish the job. 

All going to plan, I'd leave after seeing the stables and meet Micah back at the horses, and we'd be out of there before the family even knew there was something amiss.

It was a simple plan, but I didn't do complexities when it came to these things. I wanted in and out work with little to go wrong. Micah asked me how much experience I'd had and I told him the truth; not a lot. But the experience I did have had been successful and pulled off completely on my own, and he seemed assured that I could manage what we were doing. After all, I'd just be distracting the family, having an interview, it wasn't extreme criminal activity by any means. The real work was down to him, hence why my cut would be small, he'd said. 

Fair enough, I'd said. I didn't need cash, per se. I needed weapons, and so I told him to keep his eyes peeled.

We reached the house by mid afternoon and rode past it, getting a good look at the place before dismounting up the road from it. We familiarised ourselves with John's sketch of the layout, and everything checked out from what we'd seen on our pass by. With that, I declared I was ready, and Micah gave me a pat on the back.

"Good luck, Jemima Jones," he said, snorting at my alias. "Hope you get the job." 

I rolled my eyes and smirked before jogging off towards the house. I slowed to a natural stroll as I got closer, making my way up the front path and taking slow, deep breaths to calm myself. The good thing about this plan was, if I was nervous it'd look natural, since I allegedly had a job hanging on this meeting. 

I knocked on the front door and waited, fixing my hair in the reflection of the glass; I was wearing it in two plaits, not perfect but good enough. I'd done them myself and I was getting better each day. Mary-Beth had been proud. 

The door opened and a man answered, I put on my best smile and held my hand out to him. 

"Jemima Jones, pleased to meet you. I met a Mrs. Schwartz a little while ago and she told me to visit this place, it's about a job," I explained and the man nodded knowingly. He shook my hand before calling over his shoulder. 

"Lou! That lady's here!" He turned back to me. "Yes, my wife told me to expect you, come on in. I'm Geoffrey, good to meet you Miss Jones."

He led me into a formal sitting room. The house we were in wasn't hugely lavish but it was certainly the house of a family who lived comfortably. The walls were nicely wallpapered and decorated with framed photographs and artwork, the occasional taxidermy head of a deer or other poor creature. In the sitting room that was located in the middle of the house, there was a fireplace, above which a Springfield rifle sat. I eyed it up as Geoffrey urged me to take a seat on one of the two sofas that took up the middle of the space, and I hoped that Micah would notice it too whenever he was able to loot this particular room. 

Mrs. Schwartz entered the room a few moments later, carrying a tray with a teapot and a trio of teacups on it. She smiled at me and set the tray down on the ornate wooden table between the sofas before sitting down opposite me, next to her husband. 

"Miss Jones, it's very nice to see you again. I thought you weren't going to turn up!" She laughed. "Would you like some tea?" 

"Oh, yes please. I apologise for making you wait so long, I've had rather a busy week, I've moved in with my father," I explained. 

"Ah, that explains it. You know, I was beginning to feel a little uneasy about our meeting," she said, an edge to her voice that made my hair stand on end. 

"Why might that be?"

"I'm afraid my luggage went missing that day, I was starting to wonder if you might've had something to do with that. But you're here, so I realise I had nothing to worry about," she chuckled.

"I'm very sorry to hear that, and I can understand your concerns. You can't be too careful these days. I imagine it was some thug who took your case, I hear there's been more and more undesirables loitering around Valentine lately," I shook my head sadly, gratefully taking the teacup she offered to me. "Thank you." 

Over the lady's shoulder, I saw Micah peer in through the window and smirk at me. I made sure to keep my face neutral and blew on my tea. 

"Such a shame," she sighed wistfully. "Not to worry, it's only possessions."

"That's a wonderful attitude to have," I nodded. "Where's the boy you were with? How is he doing?"

"He's out in the stables, cleaning them out. Which would of course be part of your job if you began working for us," Geoffrey answered. "Louise told me you've had a lot of experience with that," he placed his hand on his wife's knee and I nodded. 

"That's right. I was somewhat of a Jack of all trades in my old job. I'd wake up early in the morning and tend to the horses, then I'd come in in time to make the family's breakfast, and in the day time I'd be childminding, cleaning and other general chores, running errands for the lady of the house, you know.”

"Well that'd be mighty helpful. Sometimes we're just desperate for another set of hands. There just ain't enough hours in the day," he chuckled, shaking his head, watching my lips as I took a sip of my tea. 

I wondered if Micah had made it into the house yet, since I hadn't heard a thing. Of course, that was a good thing, perhaps he was just extremely quiet. I hoped that was the case. 

"Now, I'd just like to explain some of the terms I had in mind," Louise said, placing her own teacup down on a saucer on the table. "You'd be living with us, I believe that's somewhat standard for your line of work?"

"It has been the case for most of my employment, yes," I nodded. 

"We have a room for you. Well… we will have. There's a small shack, uh, building out by the stables that we can make up for your comfort. We can go out and look at that later on but be warned, it's in rather a state of disrepair at the moment," she explained.

"But don't worry, we will prepare that for your arrival and ensure that it's to your satisfaction," Geoffrey added. I felt a touch of guilt at that, suddenly they were being very kind, behaviour that was so unlike what I'd witnessed at the train station. 

I pulled myself together and pushed on. This needed doing for the sake of the gang, the people who'd taken care of me.

"That's most generous," I said. 

The three of us spoke for a while, discussing my 'experience'. I mainly just spoke about the sorts of things I did anyway when I lived in a home, the cooking and the cleaning, general maintenance. It was easy, too easy, the pair of them were eating out of my hand and seemed genuinely pleased at the prospect of having me working for them. I had a constant level of guilt in the back of my mind but I kept to it, knowing that Micah was somewhere in the house, cleaning them out. These people were well off, anyway, they wouldn't miss the stuff. Right? 

By the time we had all finished our tea, I was certain that Micah would've had enough time to explore the rest of the house. So I placed my teacup down and smiled at my two hosts. 

"Well, may I see the stables? And the room I'd be staying in?" I asked and they both nodded. 

"Of course! But like I said, your room needs a lot of work so don't let it put you off!" Louise said, rising to her feet and gesturing for me to follow. Geoffrey was right behind me, following me through the house; through the kitchen and out a side door.

"Oh, I'm sure it's no worse than my previous lodgings," I laughed. 

We crossed the grounds to the paddock, heading through to the stables. The boy was in there, just like they'd said, and he was shovelling manure into a wheelbarrow. He looked up upon our arrival, greeting us wordlessly with a nod. Louise walked over to him, putting her hand on his shoulder and guiding him over to Geoffrey and I. 

"Sam, say hello to Jemima," she said, and the boy looked up at me and gave me a little wave. Louise smacked his arm sharply. "Say hello, boy!"

"H-hello," he stammered. Louise gave a tight lipped smile and sent him on his way again.

"Sorry about him. He don't talk much, getting two words outta him is like blood from a stone," she sighed, shaking her head. "Anyway, these are the stables… got a few horses as you can see, so you'll have your work cut out."

I looked around and counted a total of six. They were all very nice horses, a couple of them were Turkomans, though I spotted a Thoroughbred and an Arabian too. I nodded and let out an impressed sound. 

"These are lovely horses, ma'am."

"Yes, well, Geoffrey's brother used to race them. He's no longer with us, but we inherited them and now they're just… well. They're wasted on us," she admitted. 

"You ever thought of selling them?" I asked. 

"Yes, numerous times," Geoffrey admitted. "But I think my brother would turn in his grave."

"I see," I nodded. 

"We're hoping Sam will grow up interested in riding. Would you like that, son? Riding these horses one day?" Louise called over to him. 

"Sure," he shrugged, less than enthused, continuing with his job. 

"Well, I suppose they're worth keeping, then," she laughed awkwardly. "Anyway, I apologise for my rudeness but I have an errand to run, so I best be off. Sam, you're coming with me."

"I haven't finished," he protested. 

"Then you should've worked quicker! You can finish when you get back. Come on," she hissed, then turned to me, mouthing an apology. "It's been lovely speaking, Jemima. I can safely say I'd be happy to have you. I will leave the finer details with my husband." 

She approached me and shook my hand, giving it a squeeze. 

"Thank you, Mrs. Schwartz," I nodded. 

"You're most welcome. Sam!" 

Then she was leaving the stables, heading off the property with her son on her heels. I was relieved that she didn't go back to the house, not knowing how far Micah had gotten. I looked back at Geoffrey when they were gone to see him staring at me, a little smile on his lips. 

"So did I get the job?" I asked, making him chuckle. He took a couple of steps towards me and I resisted my instinct to back away. 

"You certainly did, Miss Jones," his voice had changed, lowered. 

"Alright, well I sure am glad. Should I, uh, come over on Monday to start, or?" 

"We ain't even discussed payment yet," he pointed out, but the look in his eye suggested that was the last thing on his mind. "You're mighty pretty, Jemima. Lovely name, too. Jemima Jones. Rolls right off the tongue." 

I laughed nervously. 

"I'm glad the wife's gone. Means I can discuss some of the terms I've had in mind," he said, reaching his hand up to grasp my chin. He leaned in and I jolted backwards. 

"I'm sorry Mr. Schwartz, I think you've misunderstood," I exclaimed. He took my hand in both of his. 

"I understand perfectly well. You work for me and my wife, serving us however necessary. Don't worry, I'll make sure it's pleasurable for you too." 

"I'm not comfortable with this, this ain't part of the deal," I backed away, but he drew me in by my waist. I went to shove him away, pushing at his chest with both hands. Fucker wasn't letting go. My leg twitched, I was ready to plow it into his groin, but before I could;

"Get your filthy hands off of my wife," Micah appeared in the doorway. My head darted towards him and Geoffrey let me go, holding his hands up. 

"I didn't realise you were married, Mrs. Jones," 

Neither did I, I thought.

"Come on, Jemima, let's get out of here," Micah stepped forwards, grabbing onto my arm and pulling me towards the door. 

"Hold on," Geoffrey called out. "We uh… we could work out some sort of deal, Mr. Jones." 

"You better not be suggesting I sell my woman to you," Micah growled. 

"You make it sound so vulgar, sir," Geoffrey chuckled anxiously. 

"I'm sorry, friend, but this lady here," Micah wrapped his arm around me, pulling me up against him and burying his face in my hair, inhaling deeply and loudly. It took all of my control not to screw my face up in disgust. "Is all mine." 

The dirty laugh that Micah did right in my ear made my skin crawl, but he led me out of there so it was all shadowed by relief. He didn't release me until we were far away from the stables and leaving the property. I wanted to chew him out for his actions, but no matter how I went to phrase it, he'd still helped me.

I fell back on trusty defensiveness. "I could've taken care of that myself, you didn't have to make such a scene." 

"But that wouldn't've been half as fun, now, would it?" He questioned, mounting his horse, which was holding heaving saddlebags. 

"I guess I should thank you," I said, leaving it at that. "How'd it go at your end?"

"Very, very well. You did good, picking this little job out. It'll make Dutch real happy."

"Good," I nodded, keeping my face straight when I really wanted to smile. 

[nancypullen]

So Far, So Good

I have no beef with November.  She showed up right on time and brought some lovely chilly weather with her.  She’s sprinkling her colorful magic all over the trees and generally being delightful.  Unfortunately she is also the gateway to holiday food and I’m like a junkie who’s been clean for a year but I’m ready to score a casserole.  I eat a very healthy balance for ten months and then *BOOM*  the Butterball turkeys show up at Kroger and all bets are off.  I wish I could buy willpower.  Sadly, I can’t even say that I fight temptation, oh no, I jump in with both feet and create the temptation.  On Saturday the mister and I were running errands...Lowe’s, Kroger, Tractor Supply for donkey corn to keep the deer in our yard during hunting season, the usual.  I told him that we needed to swing into the library parking lot because I had a couple of books on hold.  Were these volumes to entertain or expand my mind? No. They will only expand my thighs.

Come on.  You can’t tell me that that doesn’t look like fun!  Last week I baked cookies.  I hadn’t baked anything in forever because we don’t need it hanging around the house.  But I had an excuse.  I had swapped cat sitting duties with a neighbor (Willie’s other mom).  They were out of town for a few days in September and I dutifully went over and got the mail, fed her cats twice a day, scooped litter, let them out in the morning and back in for dinner, and gave them love.  In turn, when we went up to Maine she came over and scooped litter, fed our kitties wet food once a day, brought in the mail, etc.  She even took our garbage can to the curb and brought it back in.  They left town again just before we returned from our trip but had a relative house sitting.  They returned last week.   She’d given me a restaurant gift card as a thank you for watching their kitties, so I did the same but also used my gratitude as an excuse to make my favorite fall cookie - gingersnaps!  I figured I’d take a batch over with the gift card so they’d have dinner and dessert. Pulling that bottle of molasses out of the top cupboard felt like a homecoming. I uncovered the ol’ KitchenAid mixer and had one of the best afternoons I’d had in ages.  Playing music, baking cookies, and watching leaves flutter to the ground through the kitchen window - it just doesn’t get much better than that.  Of course I kept a baker’s dozen on a plate for us and they were gone in no time.  The floodgates are open. I did it.  I sabotaged myself.  And I loved every minute of it.  Please do not suggest that I could enjoy the same magical experience by whipping up a batch of bran muffins or tofu brownies.  That’s just crazy talk. Bustling around the kitchen and filling the house with delicious aromas - it’s such simple comfort.  My sister and I have had conversations recently about how, now more than ever, it’s important to keep sweetness and simplicity in our lives.  I actively seek out the whimsical side of life - enchanting art, silly poems, looking for clouds shaped like animals, all of it.  I’m drawn to fairy tales and their illustrations. I love a happy ending.  Remember when I mentioned that I’d picked up a watercolor by Maine artist Marvin Jacobs?  I didn’t choose a seascape or a harbor painting.  I picked this guy.

 It’s so important to keep sweetness in your life, otherwise the daily news will drag you under.  Be aware, be informed, work diligently for change, but leave room for lightness.   I’m saying all of this so that you’ll know why my heart cracked open and I cried when my sister sent a box full of joy straight to my mailbox.  Seems that she caught wind of a woman clearing out some treasures and she picked up a batch of Royal Albert Beatrix Potter figurines for a song!  She picked out three for me as a surprise and I can’t tell you how happy my heart is when I look at my kitchen window sill.

Jemima Puddleduck,  Mrs. Rabbit & Bunnies, and Old Mr. Brown.  Oh, my heart!  My sister told me that she knew I needed the Mrs. Bunny figure because she’s cuddling her two babies - like my two babies! 

Add to that the reminder that my Grandma Ethel called me Cuddlebunny, sewed bunny patches on my jeans during the summer that I chased her sheep and named all of her chickens, and I’m a puddle.  My sister and I love Beatrix Potter’s sweet (there’s that word again) stories and illustrations.  When the mister and I went to London I scoured the stalls on Portobello Road to find an old Beatrix Potter illustration to bring home and frame.  It hangs in the sweetest room in our house, the grandgirl’s room!

Can you imagine what it meant to me to open that box from my sister?  That was a box of love, my friends.  Now I need to add to my collection.  My sister is a fan of Hunca Munca, the busy little mouse.  She kept this figurine and said she identified with it.  I think she’s spot on.  I’ll have to look for more Hunca Munca for her.

I think we both agree that something about these little statues reminds us of time spent in Weiser.  Being at our grandparents little pink house was paradise.  My sister stayed at Grandma’s elbow, watching her sew and cook.  I stuck to her like glue outside learning about her chickens and flowers.  Her gardens were so lush.  Once when I was pretending to be outlaw Belle Starr, western rule-breaker and heartbreaker, I used one of her giant snowball bushes for my hideout.  It was so big and full that I could crawl under the lowest boughs and sit up inside.  It was beautiful and smelled good, just the sort of spot Belle would choose.  We were always so carefree in Weiser - my brother and I taught the sheep to play hide ‘n seek (really!).  If you’ve never seen a sheep hide behind a tree and peek out at you, you haven’t lived.  We named chickens after characters from Robin Hood.  My Grandpa Carl thought I was a hoot.  He spoiled me and I was his favorite.  Turns out that every one of his grandkids could say the same.  We were so safe and loved on their patch of Idaho.   I tried to put plenty of magic and whimsy into my kids’ childhoods.  They probably aren’t even aware that some of their silliest thoughts were planted there early.  I’ll bet when they see birds lined up on a wire and their first thought is “bird meeting” they don’t remember the dialogue I’d make up when we saw things like this -

Bird meeting!  #1 on the agenda is cat location...new orange tabby moved in on corner of Elm and Oak, so be aware.  Worm of the Month award goes to Maurice for the whopper he pulled out of a garden on May 5th. Way to go!  Congratulations to Stanley and Mary on hatching 4 eggs last Wednesday. That’s a lot of mouths to feed, so if anyone has extra bugs, slugs, or worms let them know. You get the idea.  They were little, Mom was just rambling at a red light, but I’ll bet that BIRD MEETING pops into their heads when they a feathered gathering.  Besides, when you anthropomorphize creatures I think kids are less likely to harm them and more likely to empathize. Whimsy with a purpose. Wow.  I apologize.  This blog post is all over the place and as usual I had no plan.  I just sit down at the laptop and empty my brain.  It’s therapy for me and a sleep aid for you. Win-win! On that note I will wrap this up and go dance around the kitchen with a broom.  I used panko when making last night’s eggplant dinner and based on the crunch I heard under my slippers this morning I didn’t sweep it all up.  Your assignment for today is to seek out sweetness.  When you find it, hold on to it.  Take it like a vitamin every day for a healthy soul.   Have a cookie too, can’t hurt might help. XOXO