#And then I was like Tuvok definitely extra prides himself on his control because of his experiences as a child having to really /work/ at it
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And I don’t want your pity - I just want somebody near me.
#T'Kona means (according to the website I skimmed) 'go from this place alone' or 'leave and never return'#WE DID IT FOLKS!!! WE GOT MITSKI!!!#everyone's favorite character can have a lil Mitski as a treat#thinking about Tuvok being kinda traumatized after the events of Repression where he got his mind messed with without his knowledge#and wanting to talk to someone about it but he doesn't have anyone he thinks would understand...not /really/...#Janeway would be understanding and kind and listen to him but she wouldn't /understand/ - she's human - she doesn't know#what a mind means to a Vulcan - how violating and frightening that loss of control is (especially under such terrifying circumstances -#being kidnapped and also made to forget it) Tuvok prides himself on his control and having that taken away...AAA!?#And then I was like Tuvok definitely extra prides himself on his control because of his experiences as a child having to really /work/ at it#and knowing the cost of losing it#I think being sent the Vulcan monastery was both a necessary thing and a traumatic experience - the kid was BANISHED from his home#so it was essentially 'go to the monastery or be out on the streets' so he kind of HAD to go and it was necessary bc Vulcans do HAVE to#control their emotions but also DAMN. Imagine being a teenager and your dad just says 'You have to go#and don't come back until you're better.' and it's REALLY either go live in this strange new place or die I guess#teenaged Tuvok is shown as being angry/impulsive which makes sense for the situation but I wonder if later on into his stay that anger fades#and he's left with sorrow and guilt and mixed emotions about what happened#in my mind the Vulcan monk that's in charge of him writes to Tuvok's father about his progress and Tuvok occasionally meekly asks if#his father wants to see him - does his father want him to come home? What did his father say? First with anger then trying not to care then#one day he cries a little and admits that he wants to see his father#When Tuvok comes home his father asks only once if Tuvok harbors any ill will towards him for sending him away#and Tuvok hesitates before saying 'No. It was necessary.' and his father nods.#'Good. Then you have indeed fully controlled your emotions.'#and Tuvok sort of glows with the praise and sort of feels...uncomfortable. unsatisfied? He still feels...bad. about what happened.#Then he swiftly takes that 'bad' feeling and shoves it as deep down as he possibly can and locks it up and throws away the key#and resolves to never ever examine it.#Anyway...headcanon that Vulcan eyes turn yellowish when they cry#Tuvok art#Tuvok#st voyager#st voyager art
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