#And the company just decides 'Yeah let's keep making sexy alts for her before we even include her base form'

[childofaura]

Well... Banner thoughts

1. Black Knight/Zelgius is absolutely perfect. I laughed at his “accosted by children” line and also just love that he’s CHRISTMAS-themed.

2. Dorothea...

Ok look... I very very very VERY rarely use this word because it’s either misused as all hell, or people are making an exaggeration over it.

But... I genuinely think IS is being sexist with Dorothea. In a way that’s so hurtfully ironic to her character. I hate using the word “sexist” because she’s NOT REAL, I get that, but like I honestly don’t know how else to go about it. Dorothea hasn’t even been included as a base alt in this game; She’s so far had the most alts out of any character without actually being in the game. And that’s not a BAD thing. But... Look at all her alts: Summer swimsuit alt, Plegian alt with skimpy clothing, and now her Christmas alt with a SUPER low-cut top and fishnet stockings. Like wasn’t the whole point of Dorothea’s character that she was seen as a low-class nobody who only gained value for her voice and her body? And all IS keeps doing is giving her more sexy alts BEFORE EVEN GIVING HER A BASE UNIT IN THE GAME?

And ok, let me absolutely clarify: These are just lines at the end of the day. It’s just a drawing. In the long run, I don’t give a shit and it doesn’t affect me. But in the short run... Fuck, I wish they’d be a little more balanced and less blatant with who their fan-service is for. Oh, also STOP MAKING THE THREE HOUSES UNITS MANDATORY ADDITIONS TO THE CHRISTMAS BANNER.

3. Annette. Sweetie, darling, love of my life, honey, I love you. I really do. You are precious to me.

... But you are also a Three Houses character and the fact that both you AND Dorothea are on this banner means that you’re killing the banner diversity.

(I still love you though, puddin’ ;w; )

4. Cordelia and Selena.

HRGHHHHHH.... Really mixed on this one.

On the one hand, it’s... really weird that they’re going “Haha look, it’s a Harmonic Hero” when no. It’s not. Shuddup. Also hell, could they not have made Selena the main unit? This is her “first” alt in the game (but really no it isn’t, the Easter alt is), and they decided to make Cordelia ANOTHER alt primarily. Also right on the heels of her Fates alt being added? Really? So now we have Regular Cordelia, Bridal Cordelia, Summer Cordelia, Resplendent Cordelia, Caeldori, and finally this Christmas one. Yaaaay.

But on the other hand, it’s sweet that Cordelia and Severa are finally in a Duo Heroes together. So I’ll let it slide.

5. Bruno.

Augh... I haven’t seen the art yet but Bruno is slowly stepping into Dorothea’s territory, just in the male version of it. IS, please just give us Bruno as a Legendary Hero for the next banner. Please don’t make him like Dorothea where all we’re getting is man-tiddy. Like... Do as much fan-service as you want AFTER their base unit gets added, but consider adding him first. Also maybe do the cool thing you did with Conrad where his mask is off when you check his profile.

Actually, I kind of hope he has his mask off for this banner.

All in all, I honestly hate to say it but this Christmas banner is a pass for me. I might try to free Summon for Black Knight but that’s it.

[italicwatches]

I Couldn’t Become a Hero, So I Reluctantly Decided to Get a Job - Episode 09

So last time we had actual plot stuff. Which s concerning. But for right now let’s just go in. It’s I Couldn’t Become a Hero, So I Reluctantly Decided to Get a Job, episode 09! Here we GO!

-The store…Payday! And not just normal payday, but Seara got to authorize a bonus for everyone for keeping the store afloat against Amada! And Fino is just staring at her first proper pay envelope, and YEAH! Her first human wages…She’s…She’s so damn excited…! And Raul gives her a simple piece of advice. Make sure you spend some of it on something memorable. Something you can look to and remember this day. You’ll be glad you did.

-Opening!

-Episode 09: How the Demon Lord’s Daughter Spent Her First Paycheck

-Dinner! A big group dinner for the whole gang, and Seara’s paying. She always treats the crew on payday. And Fino can’t resist going for the kid’s variety meal with free toy. That is very, very Fino. She’s a delight.

-Anyways the food arrives and Fino realizes it’s not just one toy you can get…There are 180 possible toys. And now she has one. Out of 180. …SHE MUST GET THE REMAINING 179. Or you could just, not, do that. And so Raul ends up volunteered to go take Fino shopping for all the necessities she needs…Oh, and this whole time, the mysterious man from before was listening.

-Cut to the apartments and trying to pick through catalogs and form a plan…And Fino is being very unintentionally sexy and Raul is breaking. Alas, poor Raul. Also the first thing Fino wants is a way to deal with cockroaches. They’re the WORST, far more devilish than anything in the demon wood GOD THERE’S ONE NOW! It was just a cicada. And as it escapes, Fino realizes she ended up clinging to Raul at some point and this just got weird. …Deep breaths, you two. Focus.

-New day! Out in town! And they run into Elza and Lam-chan. And it totally looks like a date, much to everyone’s amusement. Also, their plan is the 100 gold shop to start with the bare basics. Good plan. Fino will conquer the world of shopping!

-Hard cut to Fino looking like a nervous wreck at the thought of being a customer for the first time. Poor thing. And she ends up with a member card for the dollar store and shit this kid is so damn excited. It’s adorable. And she’s just all giddy at the idea of this cycle she’s entered. She helps people find the magic items they want. For her work, she gets paid, and some of that money comes from the hard-earned currency their customers spent. She takes that pay, and uses it to buy the things she needs and wants…Some of which very well may have been made by her customers. And some of it, by people who she’s never even met, but still made this useful or fun or tasty thing that’s now hers. It’s just…Amazing, the way humans work together so eagerly and freely, you know?

-…Damn, Fino is a bright spot in a dark world.

-And Raul’s spent a lot of time since Fino entered his life, figuring himself out…But having been raised in human society, the very idea of this broad-scale cooperation is…I mean, he’d never even considered it that way before. And when you stack it up like that…He thought his life had no purpose, that his job was pointless if he wasn’t being a hero, slaying and capturing monsters to help stop the Demon Lord…But in the end, it’s all part of making the world a little better, isn’t it?

-We will be pointedly ignoring how this sentiment doesn’t hold so well in our world due to the near-total prominence of companies doing some pretty evil shit with their wealth, because dammit, I want to hold onto Fino’s enthusiasm and optimism just a little.

-And thus it becomes a day of more shopping! And to really feed all of that enthusiasm, Raul takes Fino to the open-air market…Where she nearly runs right out into the street when she takes a wrong turn and Raul has to save her. You two are lucky that wasn’t an isekai truck! You could have both ended up…in…a fantasy world…running on video game logic…

-…Oh.

-Right.

-…Carry on, then.

-Also Fino’s suddenly feeling Things around Raul and doesn’t know what to do with those. It really doesn’t help when a jewelry vendor really pushes some lovey-dovey stuff for the young man and his girlfriend. And is Fino going to figure out what that means yet? Nope, because Raul is too busy getting all nervous…

-And then geeking out over a fuckin’ gorgeous sword being sold by a vendor. Man, he loved to admire the earlier models back in school, and this is even better! And this is a quality vintage one that they’re selling for only 100,000, when they used to go for two million! Also Fino has wandered off back to that jewelry vendor. Oh man, it’s so tempting to splurge on the sword…Fino, what do you think? …Fino? Where did she…

-She got lost and gets yanked into a doorway. Oh no!

-Raul goes hunting and seeking…And ends up running right into Fino! In a pretty dress? It seems a shopkeep was just very aggressive in getting her into something cute and Raul’s brain just cracks at seeing her all dressed up.

-And she finds herself super wanting to know what he thinks about the outfit and being super excited at the thought that he likes them…And Raul has that “Was my friend always this cute?” moment. And a polaroid photographer even snaps a photo of the happy couple…

-And then it comes out that Fino basically spent her whole paycheck on mostly useful nicknacks. And now she has no food money. …Shit. The market is a terrifying force!

-And that stall is making crepessssss. …Fine, you get a crepe. Eat up, Fino. And of course she’s all super excited and it’s soooo good and just kiss already you two goofballs. And then, she has him close his eyes…! Wait, is she going to…?

-No, she just got him a little gift, a thing to remember this day, and thank him for always being there for her. And now they’re both all blushy and what did she get him? A cellphone charm! Made with the hair of a hero who nearly slew the demon lord, but was struck down! Of course. That’s Fino.

-Eventually they’re headed back home, when Raul stops to get a drink…Only for Fino to scream?! She manages to force them to back off by the time he gets to her, but…

-Oh.

-Fuck.

-The forces, human and demon alike, that want her to take the throne and restart the war. It was a pair of out-of-work heroes. That want her to throw the world back into chaos, so they have a purpose again…

-…FUCK.

-Credits.

Well…That’s not what I expected. And yet, it makes all too much sense.

Capitalism makes villains of us all.