#And just sitting through the past 9 or so hours watching my country put a man in office

[unsurebazookacore]

welp… guess I’m not coming out for the next four years either :)

[crazyqueengentlemen]

Television Watching - Effective Control Measures

Television shows have quickly become popular all over the world. Everyone seems to like recap shows because it's easy that way! People all over globe keep in touch with their favorite reality shows through TV recaps. Regions of the country countries, Browse around this site this trend is still reading. However, TV show recaps in america and Europe are already popular. Most within the spectators of a particular TV show are now watching recaps. Very much popular Television shows are now watched as recaps through larger fraction of complete viewership. This trend has purchased so much due to the popularity of some reality shows along with TV programs which individuals did not want to miss at any cost.

Therefore the campaigns of advertiser have dramatically increased over deals with 30 many. Also television is merely shown to the home television for computer instead you can watch countless videos, films, shows and programs your past world wide web.

This is often a question quite a few parents struggle with. So what will be the answer? It might be different for each family. I have a sister with three kids, ranging in ages from 14 years down to 9 yrs. She has the television on all morning in terms of kids have grown to be ready for school. Functions for it. Her kids are motivated and exactly what they to help do each and every morning before posting. In that situation functions well.

To with, a smart tv will over time of time become a "not so smart" Tv for pc. Basically, the technology of smart tv is always changing. The Smart TV hardware simply cannot be changed remain in in pace with improvements and updates to the ever changing software.

There furthermore programs for the parents on how to begin saving towards the child's future education. Chances are, anyone are this concerned with the education of one's child, may thought for a while about an individual are in order to save enough money to deliver them on the college of their choice. The great news is a person can can never start planning too real soon. In fact, the early you start, the considerably better. On Demand through tv offers several programs providing you advice by the best strategy to put aside a few dollars which pay off big time for your child down the road.

As far as softlogic tv difference between LCD and DLP is concerned, it is mainly the price, with LCD being more unaffordable. DLPs tend to obtain dimmer at extreme viewing angles; however, the display quality is excellent as with LCD. Potential distractions to buying these two technologies generally if the bulb burns out always be quite an expensive affair to replace them.

TV could be the one activity that isn't interactive. Only sit and watch, too many cases zombie away from. I understand the tube becoming a great method to relax, unwind and chill out. That's what I would do to order couple of hours following a busy weekend, then Utilised ready for bed. Exactly what my kids would do for an hour after planned. They were then ready for homework as well as the evening routine of instrument practice, chores and night time.

The possibility falling into a wrong decision for the tv aerial could be more likely lesser if an individual the right information about everything. You've just got to create becoming a shrewd buyer inevitably get greatest and most fun quality TV aerial installation that you deserve.

[a-space-to-take-a-breath]

Journal 3: Apathy & Loneliness

12-19-2023

Apathy

I have been struggling to feel anything short of apathy chopped up by brief intense bursts of emotion when I’m not around others the last month or so. It seems to be getting worse too. And I’m not sure if it’s seasonal effective disorder or what but I’ve been really struggling with executive dysfunction. My dishes have been half or not done for the last month. I will do just enough work to make them not gross, no food that could rot, make sure there’s no standing water or things that could mold and then I *REALLY* struggle to move beyond that without outside pressure. So it’s like a tidy pile of dirty dishes that shifts and moves slightly as I Theseus’ Ship my way through the pile. Incredible.

You can really copy paste that same sort of vibe onto other things: vacuuming, cleaning, dusting, laundry. All minimal effort put in to keep a safe mostly tidy living space. I don’t understand why my brain works this way. It’s not like I’ve been doing anything in my free time, I have no motivation, desire or drive to really do much. And I have a strong desire to fix these things but it’s like I have an incredible mental block every time I try to get up and do the dishes, or throw my laundry in a basket. Why? Why can’t I just fucking fold my laundry. Or run another load. Or wash some dishes while my rice cooks rather than write this stupid fucking journal entry. I’m so fucking angry with my own inability to just function like a normal person, I don’t get it.

Instead of doing most anything productive I instead sit down at my computer, stare at it for a bit. Maybe watch something for a bit, fail to get engaged, open a game, immediately feel a wave of… I’m not sure… sadness, depression, a feeling like I’m wasting my life away? What am I doing? Why am I here? What is the point of me being on this stupid fucking planet if I’m going to go work a brain dead job for 9 hours with a 1.5 hour commute both ways. Then do absolutely nothing to work against the litany of horrors that exist here? I look at my boss, my coworkers, even some of my friends and I feel overwhelming despair. Some of them seem like they are just biding their time until they die. I don’t want to be that. But how do I change? **How** do I do better? Do I sell everything I own and move to a low cost of living country? Go to work for change? Do I switch careers into non profits working for sustainability? Do I quit my job, get some roommates and throw myself into politics? I don’t know. It all feels so fraught. And there’s no easy answer. I’ve never had a mentor, never had an older person who was willing to take me under their wing in any meaningful way and truly help me. And I yearn for someone to lean on in this respect. Guidance.

Loneliness

I recently lost one of my closest friends. He’s still alive but the friendship slowly deteriorated and now snapped. I still have close friends. But I don’t have many, and they are not near me for the most part. I mentioned this in a previous entry I wrote: I am finally starting to build some level of community here in the city and I have never felt more lonely in my life. Some nights I feel like going somewhere or doing something and my entire being just rejects the idea on some visceral level. There are so many bars, movie theatres, restaurants, shops and other cool places near me. And I just struggle to even explore beyond the lens of my camera.

The era of online community separates and secludes us in ways that are insidious. There’s an illusion of easy community but it is as hard or maybe even harder to build it to a level where it fulfills to any similar level as in person community does. This is the struggle I find myself in, as I work to distance myself from virtual communities and find or build connections and community with those around me. But it comes back to the same problem as before, everyone else also works, they have their own lives and priorities. And community is often not one of them in America. Maybe it’s just becoming time for me to leave this country.

[kalembasinpoland]

Day 9: Rzeszów to Zakopane

A day of driving. But first, I did manage to take a walk around Rzeszów last night. I walked through the Rynek, past some churches and fancy looking buildings, through a park with a lighted fountain. People were sitting on benches watching the light show. Then I walked past the old palace walls before turning around and stopping in a Zabka convenience store to get some snacks. Went back to the room and went to sleep.

This morning after breakfast at the hotel we hit the ‘open’ road. I put open in quotes because the more back country are much slower than the autostrada and loaded with more traffic. You drive through town after town, crosswalk after crosswalk, speed bump after…you get the idea.

First stop about an hour in was the town of Brzozów. Say that three times real fast. This town is the birthplace of my maternal great-great grandmother Matilda Wnęk Sikora. I stopped in the old cemetery and didn’t find any Wnęk graves, but I did find several Bielawski graves. That was Matylda’s grandmother’s family. Perhaps the Wnęk family came from another town in the vicinity.

Next was the town of Haczów and its famous wooden church. I visited here with Dad ten years ago. This church is a UNESCO landmark. It is one of the biggest wooden churches in Poland.

Then it was a short-ish drive to Kroscienko Wyzne where Matylda’s future husband Jan Sikora was born. Jan’s father was a servant in the manor house here. The house has been resorted and available for rent for parties, weddings, etc. However the gates were locked and I couldn’t find a way to get in to see the building.

From there was another hour or so to just past Jasło and the town of Osobnica. This is an ancestral town of fellow church musician and friend, Steven Janco I took pictures of the church. A few kilometers down the road is the ancestral home of the Budziak family in the town of Cieklin. Allen Budziak’s great grandfather was from here. He was born about a kilometer away in the next village, but there was no church there. They worshipped in Cieklin. I went to the cemetery and took pictures of the more recent Budziak graves.

Then it was the 2 and half hour ride to Zakopane. A long winding ride through the low mountains and lots of hairpins before coming to a vista that overlooks the Dunajec valley and the lake that is on the other side of the Pieniny mountains-where Trzy Korony is located.

From there 20 minutes to Zakopane and our room at the Villa Nosal on the edge of the forest. After checking in we walked 20 minutes to dinner-fondue.

Then a walk down the touristy pedestrian street. Our villa is at the top of the hill and everything was down. So for the way black we grabbed another one of those electric scooters that we used in Kraków. However, only one of the two that were on that corner had battery. So Rose and I both hopped on one and rode it back towards the villa.

Tomorrow we take the cable car up to the mountains for some hopefully clear sightseeing and short hike.

Do zo.

[losingitinjersey]

I’ve always struggled with transitions and we are currently smack dab in the middle of yet another one.  Really, this whole year has been a transition as it’s literally called Kevin’s “Transitional Year” of residency.  

We’re still in Virginia just waiting until we can move to Pennsylvania.  We need to be there by the end of June and, as you know, we started putting offers in on houses.  We’ve now submitted three offers and are about to put in on a fourth.  

For the first house we went in at $10k over asking and it went to a buyer for $51k over asking and with all inspections waived. 

For the second house we went in at $30k over asking (with a $15k appraisal difference and $5k worth of damages found from inspections covered by us).  It went to a buyer for only $5k over asking ($25k LESS than we were offering) but with all inspections waived. 

For the third house we went in at asking (with a $15k appraisal difference, and $5k worth of damages found from inspections covered by us) and we should hear back by today on that one, though we’re not hopeful given our less than competitive offer. 

We didn’t go hard on this one due to the fact that it’s at the high end of our commute length preference and we didn’t expect the house to get appraised at asking let alone anything over. 

For the next house we believe we’ll be going in at $20k over asking with the same $15k appraisal difference and $5k inspection thing.  

I’m sure once we start getting desperate we’ll have to waive inspections but given that we don’t expect to see the house until after it’s ours, an inspection sure feels like the smart thing to do.  

Even though I’ve been eating like a complete jerk, I have made it a priority to get out for at least a brisk 30 minute walk every day.  Before this week I hadn’t made it out to walk much since my maternity leave ended on December 15th because I didn’t know how to fit it in.  Since I can never get enough sleep due to babies, I didn’t want to wake up at 5 a.m. to fit in a walk before work starts at 9 a.m.  I haven’t wanted to be away from my computer during the work day so I could be as responsive as possible and be the best employee I could be, despite fellow co-workers and manager telling me work/life balance needs to be a thing.  An after work walk feels impossible due to dinner time, bath time, bed time, then cleaning up from child destruction, leaving only an hour in my day where I can sit and watch a show before going to bed at a reasonable hour because, again, lack of sleep due to bebes.  

How have I managed to walk then? Rather than insisting upon my normal 5 mile, 1.5 hour walk (I have said MANY times that a walk isn’t worth it unless it’s 5 miles), I told myself that 30 minutes is okay.  It’s better than not walking at all.  I just need to get outside and get moving.  I found a quick loop and I’m making it happen.  Only one time so far have I gotten pinged by work and felt the need to rush back so I could reply to someone about a scheduling question.�� Learning that I, too, can take a lunch break and get some sunshine and exercise has made a big difference.  

Though, despite this newfound dopamine, I’m still finding myself struggling.  I think it’s both because of this transition period where I’m constantly looking at homes and falling in love - planning out our entire lives in a house only to have it fall through.  But also because now that it seems like restrictions are lifting for covid, I’m seeing evidence of everyone getting together with friends, planning trips and living life.  For the past two years I was able to blame covid on not doing anything but now that that’s not as strong of an excuse anymore I feel extra stuck and lonely.  Even if I wanted to take a trip, I wouldn’t be able to do so due to my husband’s never-ending work schedule and my extreme lack of childcare with zero family/friend resources nearby.  All my friends with kids are on the other side of the country so I can’t even have mini playdates.  Sure, I could make friends here but we’ve had one foot out the door since moving here in April.  

I know this is just a season of life and what we get for pursuing Kevin’s medical education on the other side of the country.  I chose to have a life full of kids and I’m SO grateful I am even blessed enough to have one let alone two children, especially after all those bitter years of infertility.  Yet here I am still longing for what’s next.  I look forward to once we’ve moved to Philadelphia and get settled into a home we hopefully love.  Being only a 2.5 hour train ride to @nycnomad and a 3 hour drive to my sister’s house.  I hope that since we’ll be in PA for at least four years we’ll be able to settle in and actually make some friends.  I know what we’re experiencing isn’t forever but I’m so looking forward to Kevin having a more regular work schedule let alone when he’s an actual attending and gets 10+ weeks off a year. When our kids are older and have friends which make us friends.  I’m not saying I’m unhappy with where we’re at at all.  I absolutely adore my life and children and don’t want them to grow up at all, yet also can’t wait to be out of this currently super challenging two-year old phase.  

I’m just all over the place :) 

Some photo mentions:

Photo 4:  Erp found my tweezers and was helping me tweeze my chin hair :)

Photo 10:  This morning Erp and I put 10 pairs of socks on her :) She was quite proud of this and I’m hoping I didn’t encourage a behavior she’s going to now want to do every morning. 

Other life updates:

Finally moved Aug out of our bedroom and started sleep training.  Both awful and wonderful at the same time. 

I downloaded TikTok and am obsessed with all the cleaning and organizing videos which amazingly inspires me to continuously stay on top of deep cleaning my house.  Unexpected outcome of that app. 

Currently in the middle of watching Inventing Anna and loving it (no spoilers please, I’m avoiding all Googling).   Before this I watched The Woman in the House Across the Street from the Girl in the Window and Ozark season four, both of which I’d recommend!  

[its-nebula]

Locked Room Lovin'

Rantaro x Fem!Reader

Warning: NSFW

Thank goodness that your day was almost over. You couldn’t wait to rush out and go home, take a load off. Working in a library might not be that difficult, but it sure was repetitive. You were just so incredibly bored, and now it would be your off day. You yawned as you started to do your closing activities, namely, checking in all the books that had been returned, earlier in the day.

You scanned every bar code that you saw absent-mindedly, thinking instead about how you would be able to collapse on your bed and sleep as soon as you walked through the door.

The library was nearly empty at this time of night; go figure, it was 8:30 on a Saturday. The only people still looming around were the usual book-worms that would more than likely be gone by the time the lights turned off. You’ve worked at the library long enough to know and recognize some of them by name, though you rarely ever interacted with them.

“Okay, S/O! I’ll see you Monday afternoon, I’m getting out of here.” Your boss told you, and you politely nodded. “If you need something, don’t call. My kitties need attending to, and especially Mr. Whiskers, he’s been feeling a little frisky lately.”

“Riiiight....uh, see you Monday.” You waved to her, and she sashayed out of the library doors. Not long after she exited, the other people in the library started to exit as well. 9:00 was growing near, and you couldn’t wait until you were the only one left. After the last person you saw bid you a good night, you sighed of relief. All you had to do was put the books back in their respective places, and you could begin true relaxation.

Humming loudly to yourself, you pushed the book cart around, knowing exactly where each and every one should go. 

“GAH-!” You jumped in surprise as you saw a green haired gentleman sitting down in one of the beanbags, his nose stuck in a book. He seemed to be focusing pretty hard, until he glanced up at you. You recognized him as Rantaro, and he took off the headphones he was wearing. 

“Rantaro, you s-scared me.” You held your chest, chuckling lightly. “I thought there was nobody else left in the library.”

“I see that it’s already 9:00. Guess I’ve overstayed my welcome.”

“Oh, you’re fine! You can probably stay here until I’ve finished up.”

“No, no, I wouldn’t want to intrude more than I already have. Besides, I think I’m done for tonight anyways.” He started to get off the bean bag, stretching his legs in the process. He ran a hand through his hair, then looked at you. “I could help you put those up, if you so desire. I wouldn’t want you to stay longer than you have to.”

“Oh, Rantaro, you don’t have to do that!”

“It’s really no problem, Miss L/N. I need something to take my mind off things. Besides, we wouldn’t really want you to overwork those pretty little fingers of yours, would we?” He didn’t wait for an answer as he grabbed about half of the books that were left on your cart.

“I...suppose not.” You were honestly too tired to argue, and plus an extra hand never hurt.

The two of you put the books away, and surprisingly, he didn’t even need your help. After all was said and done, he looked at you with a smile on his face.

“That wasn’t too bad, right? If it’s not too much trouble, can I ask for one favor?”

“Knock yourself out.”

“That room behind the counter, that’s where you keep the books you’re about to give away, right? Would you mind if I took a couple of your fairytale books?”

“Go ahead.” You shrugged, searching for you card so that you could lock up for the night. “Be careful, it automatically locks from the outside.”

“I’ll be careful.” He turns around and disappears into the room, as you finally find you keycard. Happily wearing it around your neck, you went into most of the other rooms in the library to turn the lights off. As you went back to where the storage room was, you could see Rantaro excitedly picking up books; more than he looked like he could carry. He had one foot in the door, trying to keep it open.

“Do you need some help?” You offered, holding the door open for him. 

“Thanks, I couldn’t-” He wasn’t able to see past the large stacks of books, and he collided with the wall, causing him to fall, with books of varying sizes raining down on him. He rubbed his head, laughing nervously to himself. You couldn’t help but laugh as you offered a hand to help him up, moving away from the door.

As you started helping him pick the books up, you couldn’t help but hear the sound of the door shutting behind you. Your eyes widening, you quickly whipped around to see that the metal door had completely shut. You wiggled the useless doorknob in an attempt to get it open. “Shit! I think we’re locked in!” You exclaimed, slamming yourself against the door.

“Woah there, calm down.” Rantaro grabbed your shoulders, stopping you from ramming your body against the door. “Can’t you call your boss?”

“My boss... is busy.” You rolled your eyes. You looked away defeatedly, covering your face with your hands. “She’s going to kill me when she finds us in the morning...”

“Hey now, Miss L/N, what about the authorities?” 

“She would absolutely kill me if there was a big gaping whole where the door should be when she gets here. She doesn’t get here until 10:00, and she’d yell at me because she’d be held liable so early in the morning, and...”

“Okay, calm down.” He put a hand on your shoulder, and all you could do was slide down along the wall out of embarrassment. 

“I’m sorry Rantaro, now you’re going to be stuck here with me all night... I feel so bad...”

“At least I’m stuck here with the Librarian’s pretty assistant.” He smirked at how you seemed to get flustered, sitting down next to you. “Well, Miss L/N we might as well get to know each other.”

“...you can start by calling me by my first name.” You looked at him. “S/O.” It could be worse, you realized. If you were stuck with anybody, you were glad it was the admittedly hot guy you’d regularly seen around the library.

“I’m sure I don’t have to introduce myself by now. The name’s Rantaro Amami.”

You yawned, rubbing your eyes.

“Well, I’m not already boring you, am I?”

“No, no! It’s just that I’ve been here since like 2, and your voice is just very calming to me.” The words just came out of your mouth, and you realized what you said. “Sorry! I didn’t mean for that to sound weird!”

He chuckled. “I get that a lot, it’s fine. If you need to sleep, I totally understand.”

“No! I’ll be fine for a while, I swear.”

“Mhmm~... Well, suit yourself.”

The next couple of hours or so were exclusively spent on you and Rantaro getting to know each other better. The two of you shared anything that you could think of. You told him all about how you came to be a library’s assistant, and how you’ve been working there for a quite a while. You told stories about your boss, who was increasingly diving more into “crazy cat lady territory” everyday. Rantaro shared stories about his adventures that he went on. He listed off all the countries he’d visited, and the countries he had left to visit. He solemnly explained the story about his sisters, and how he just wanted to find them so badly.

“And... that’s why I come to the library every day. Read up on the cultures and traditions of the countries I have yet to visit and any things I should be cautious of. That’s what I do.”

“I admire how determined you seem to be.” You told him with a reassuring smile. You squeezed his shoulder, and he looked back at you with a sad gaze. “I’m positive you’ll find them one day.”

“Thank you, S/O. Talking to you...it actually helps a lot.” He looked away. “Well, I’ve run out of things to talk about now. Any suggestions?”

You shrugged, resting your head on his shoulder. “It doesn’t matter to me. Being in here with you... I’m strangely comfortable. You’re such an easy person to talk to.”

A few minutes of silence passed. The two of you just enjoyed each other’s company, before you felt Rantaro’s hand on your chin. He turned your head towards his, and before you could process what was going on, the two of you were entangled in a sweet kiss. You closed your eyes, lazily kissing back and wrapping your arms around his neck. 

The two of you stayed like that for a couple minutes, before you pulled apart. Your faces were within centimeters of each other, and you could hear him quietly laughing.

“What’s so funny?”

“I guess I have a confession to make. I’ve wanted to do that to the Librarian’s pretty assistant for a while.”

Your eyes widened. “You have?”

“Call it a stupid crush, but there’s always just been something about you, S/O. I’ve always wanted to get to know you on a more... personal level.” He runs a hand across your thigh, and you giggle sleepily. You connect your lips with is once again, your fingers getting tangled in his now messy hair.

You positioned yourselves so that you were sitting on top of Rantaro’s lap. You deepened the kiss, enjoying how his hands were squeezing your hips, trying to pull you closer towards him. As sleepy as you were, you were enjoying this immensely.

His lips parted from yours, and kisses peppered your jawline, all the way down to your neck and your collarbone. He held you in place as you drowsily giggled from the sensation. You could feel his breath against your skin as he stopped, and you couldn’t help but noticed his hands had reached a little higher on your back. “Are you sure you want to do this...? I can tell you’re tired and all, and- oh.”

Rantaro watched as you slipped your shirt off, throwing it to the side. Admittedly, he’d been getting a little tired too, but if anything woke him up, it was that. He smirked at you, taking the opportunity to take his own shirt off. “Well, I do love a woman who knows what she wants.”

“Shut up and kiss me...” You groaned before connecting your lips to his once more, not hesitating to stick your tongue straight into his mouth. You smiled in the kiss as his hands reached up to undo the straps of your bra, slipping it off with ease. You bucked your hips into his, causing him moan out loud. You could feel how hard it was getting, and it turned you on so much.

He bit his lip whenever you threw your bottoms to the side. His hands were free to explore your body now, and he took full advantage of that. He felt how soft your breasts felt in his hands, he felt how sensitive your nipples seemed to be. He did the honor of sucking on one of your buds, while his hand traveled to your lower half. Already, he could feel the heat radiating off you. 

He took off his jeans and boxers, and you could feel just how hard his dick was in your hands. “Why don’t you put those pretty little fingers of yours to work?” He asked breathlessly. You happily obliged, stroking him and watching as eyes rolled into the back of his head, not able to contain the groans that escaped his lips. Leaning in, you sloppily kissed his neck, and all he could do is grab tightly onto your ass, refraining himself from cumming. 

Finally, he couldn’t take it anymore. He practically rushed and fought to get your undergarments off, and repositioned you so that you were sitting on top of his lap, himself lined up at your entrance. Rantaro held onto your hips, and he licked his lips as he asked for one last confirmation. “S-S/O... are you sure this is what you want?”

“Rantaro...” You whispered into his ear. “Give it to me.”

He guided you so you easily slid onto his throbbing erection, and you kissed him as you moaned into his mouth. You two got into a slow , but steady rhythm, as you moved in a way that made him repeatedly hit exactly the right spot. He bit your lower lip as you moved back and forth, up and down.

“You feel so damn good...” He closed his eyes. You noticed he was even drooling a little between every grunt and moan. You were about to reach your own climax, as evidenced of the increasing volume in your sounds.

“Rantaaaro~” You whined, throwing your head back. “I’m gonna-” You didn’t have time to finish your sentence as you had your climax.

Rantaro’s body stiffened as that happened, especially as your walls tightened around him as he could feel himself pulsating. Squeezing his eyes shut, he let out a long sigh as he reached his orgasm as well. Letting go of your body, he collapsed on the floor. You slowly crawled beside him, feeling happy, satisfied, and more than ever, exhausted.

“You should probably sleep now.” He whispered to you as he reached for his shirt. “I’ll wake you up if anybody comes.”

“Mmmm~” You put on his shirt, beaming drowsily at him. He wrapped his arms around your waist, kissing the back of your neck. “Thank you for an amazing night, S/O.”

You woke up to Rantaro’s light snoring, as he was still holding you close. You were about to go back to sleep, but you noticed the door was slightly cracked open, and there was a note next to you.

“Dear S/O,

Next time, consider calling before you indulge in intercourse with one of our loyal patrons!”

Rolling your eyes, you smiled knowing that you would almost certainly be yelled at as soon as you walked through the door. But that was a problem for the future. For now, all you wanted was to go back to sleep in Rantaro’s loving arms. And that’s exactly what you did.

[topsytervy]

Rented ~ Rafe Cameron

Blurb: Rafe decides to pay your brother Barry to rent you as his date for midsummers and it turns into something a little more.

Word Count: 4,516

Warnings: mentions of drugs, mentions of drinking, swearing, canon Rafe in the beginning, age gap (16 and 19), probably spelling errors, kind of horribly written towards the end, i think that’s all.

I just want to say that it’s not okay to rent out your friends or family members without their consent or just in general so...don’t be Barry. Also, google told me age of consent in North Carolina is 16 but THIS IS A WORK OF FICTION. I DO NOT CONDONE A RELATIONSHIP WHERE ONE (OR MORE) OF THE PEOPLE IN A RELATIONSHIP IS A MINOR AND THE OTHER (OR OTHERS) IS AN ADULT. I DO NOT CONDONE IT AND DO NOT RECOMMEND IT. THIS IS PURELY FICTION AND FOR THE STORY.

~~~~~

Being Barrys younger sister sucked ass. 

He was your legal guardian until you were 18 and he couldn't care less about your well-being if you were being honest. It was well-known that Barry was your brother after all the times he dragged you home from somewhere or constantly called you, telling you to get home. If you opted for turning off your phone, he'd come looking for you or offer someone a gram at half-price if they brought you home.

There was the one time you were at the chateau late one night and he told you that if you weren’t home by 10, you'd be sleeping outside cause he wasn’t going to get up to unlock the door.

JJ dropped you off at 10:01 and, sure enough, a blanket and pillow were sitting on the porch for you. When JJ stopped by later to drop off your phone that you left behind on accident, he saw you sleeping on the ground and took a crowbar to your window.

JJ seemed to be the only one who liked you for you. 

Most of the time when people approached you and became your friend, they did it because they thought that being your friend meant discounted coke. 

It didn't. Frankly, Barry didn’t want you sticking your nose in his little empire. You minded your business and he minded his for the most part.

JJ was probably the first real friend you had. It was very simple of how the friendship formed, he saw someone push you, and he punched them. Why? You don’t know. That was just JJ Maybank for you. 

You repaid the favor the next day when a girl poured her water on him and you broke her nose for him. He laughed as you passed him your sweatshirt so he could dry himself off before you were dragged to the office.

You had also tried convincing Barry to stop selling to Luke Maybank but Barry just said "money is money. I’m not turning away a paying customer just so your little boyfriend can be happy. My happiness comes first. How do you think I feed you?"

8th grade was a wild year.

The first time you ever met Rafe was when he was a senior in high school and you were a freshman.

There was a kegger on the beach and you were on keeping JJ under control duty like every other time. It was a well-known fact around that you could talk JJ down from a fight and keep him from pounding people’s faces in. After all, you liked to avoid conflict and would rather have problems talked out rather than fought out.

So it was no shock when Topper, Kelce, and Rafe showed up and stood in front of you guys for their beers, you had a hand on JJs shoulder and shooting him a glance.

Thankfully, you got through filling their cups without any words said and the party went smoothly for the most part until Topper and JJ got a bit too close to each other.

All you remember is coming back from the bathroom and being dragged to where JJ currently had Topped in a headlock.

"Yo, Y/N! Get your boy off of him!" Rafe had yelled at you. 

You rolled your eyes and flipped him off before rushing over to the two boys.

 You grabbed JJs bicep and leaned in close to him so he could hear you. "J, he's had enough. Let him go." 

JJ hesitated before releasing Topper who immediately had Rafe and Kelce by his side.

Rafe glared at JJ before turning to you. "You better keep your bitch under control before he ends up like his dad."

Your grip tightened on JJ as you held him back from pouncing again. JJ spat some blood into the sand and you handed him to John B before walking over to the older boy.

"You better watch your mouth Rafe before it gets you in trouble." You said evenly.

"Oh really? What? You gonna call your coke dealer brother to come fuck me up?" He practically spat in your face.

You didn’t say anything, just drew back your fist and let it connect with his nose.

"No. I'll do it myself." You hissed, leaning down so only he would hear you as he held his nose.

And that was your first-ever direct interaction meeting with Rafe Cameron. 

It sucked ass and you would’ve thought you two would’ve killed each other the next time you two met.

Except, you didn’t kill each other.

You were so adjusted to him coming in and out of the trailer for coke that you were unfazed when you walked out of your bedroom to see Rafe handing Barry money, a smirk present on his lips as he walked past you and out the door.

"Wow. Kooky cokehead seemed real happy this time. What? You give him a 25% off coupon for his next purchase." You joked, flopping down on the couch.

"No. He left empty-handed. And 200 bucks poorer." Barry grinned, counting out the money.

You furrowed your eyebrows in confusion. Why on God's green earth would Rafe fork over 200 dollars only to leave empty-handed?

"Guess who's going to midsummer’s as Rafe Cameron’s date?" Barry looked at you with a smile.

Your eyes widened as you stood up. "You rented me to Rafe Cameron without my consent! I'm 16! He's 19!"

"Legal age of consent is 16 here. Besides, it’s not like he asked to fuck you. He just needed a date to midsummers and he wanted to take you." Barry explained, walking towards his room. 

"Jokes on you! The only dress I have is from 5th grade!" 

"Jokes on you cause country clubs gonna be taking care of your wardrobe for the night!" 

You let out a yell of frustration before turning around and walking put the door, hopping onto your bike, and booking it to the beach.

You ditched your bike at the bike rack and ran down the beach searching for your friends. You let pit a breath when you saw Kie and Pope sitting on the sand. 

"Hey Y/N/N. You look like you've seen a ghost. What’s up?" Pope asked once you were close enough. 

"Where's JB and JJ?" You panted, slightly out of breath from running across the sand. 

Kie nodded out towards the water and you watched as JJ surfed a wave with John B. You crossed your arms and watched your two friends make their way back to shore. JJ grinned as he approached you, surfboard under his arm, shaking his hair and causing water droplets to hit your exposed arm.

"Look who finally showed up." The blonde laughed, slinging his arm around you.

"Sorry, I was held up for a few extra minutes because Barry decided that he'd rent me out to Rafe Cameron for Midsummers!" You told him, voice getting louder and angrier with each word you spoke.

"Please tell me that’s a joke." John B looked at you.

"I wish it fucking was! Rafe stopped by, gave Barry 200 bucks to rent me for a night, and then walked out." 

"That’s crazy," JJ said, surfboard long forgotten in the sand.

You opened your mouth to speak but were cut off by a familiar and unwelcomed voice.

"Hey, Y/N. Haven’t seen you in a bit." 

You and your friends turned to face Rafe, feelings JJs arm tighten around your shoulders.

"You saw me an hour ago tops."

Rafe smirked, hands in his pockets. "I just wanted to let you know that I made an appointment for you to get your measurements taken for your dress. It’s over on the mainland at 11:00 tomorrow."

"What’s the name of the place and I'll take her to the appointment?" Kie crossed her arms over her chest as she spoke.

Rafe shot her a glance before looking back at you. "I’m picking you up at about 9:30 so be ready."

"Hey, jackass. Kie said she would take her. Just tell her the name of the joint." JJ took his arm from around you and took a step towards Rafe 

"Y/N/N, your bitch needs to be put in check," Rafe told you calmly as he looked into your eyes.

You grabbed JJs wrist as he went to lunge and looked at Rafe. "One moment, please. I need to converse with my friends."

Rafe watched you lazily as you tugged your friends away from the older boy. 

"This is really bad timing considering we're in the middle of finding 400 mill," JJ whispered.

"Kie, you gotta stay here and help Pope keep JJ and John B put of trouble and help him reason with them." You told her. 

"And leave you alone with the Kook prince?" John B looked at you like you were crazy.

"I’ll be fine. I'll bring pepper spray." You reassured them.

They all looked at each other before sighing and nodding.

Before you could leave, JJ grabbed your wrist. "If things get weird, send me an SOS and I'll be there ASAP. Even if I have to paddle my way to the mainland." 

You nodded and made your way towards Rafe. "Just don’t try to engage in a conversation with me right away. Unless it’s 10 AM or I've had caffeine, I don’t talk in the mornings." You informed the older boy.

"I'll see you then, angel." Rafe sent you a wink before turning to walk away.

You caught JJs arm, knowing your best friend was close to tackling the kook boy into the sand to pound his face in.

JJ turned to you, leaning in close to your ear to speak. "I’m serious. First red flag, you call or text me. I highly doubt consent is a word in Rafe Cameron’s dictionary."

****

You saw Rafe more in the 4 days leading up to midsummers than you had in a year and you’d be lying if you said you hated it.

The first day was the day you needed your measurements taken. The dress had already been picked out and you ignored the fact that the tailor said that it was about time you two came because he was ready to put it back on the rack after day 3 of holding it.

You stood there, completely out of your comfort zone as measurements were taken and jotted down onto a notepad. 

"How quickly can you get the dress altered?" Rafe asked from the couch, watching the process.

"Depends Mr. Cameron. How quickly do you need it?" The tailor responded.

Rafe rubbed his face, groaning. "Let’s see. Four- four and a half days and that’s counting today. We're coming back to the island on the day of midsummers to pick everything else up, today is just a looking day. So, three days." 

The tailor nodded. "We can do that. We'll make it a top priority."

Rafe nodded before his eyes met with yours. 

The tailor exited the room for something and that’s when you spoke. "A looking day?"

"Yeah. Browse through the jewelry and heels and anything else necessary for midsummers." He glanced down to where you were fiddling with your fingers and immediately pulled out his phone. "And a manicure. Might as well throw in a pedicure." 

"Rafe," you said. He didn’t look up from his phone, probably looking at nail salons nearby. "Rafe." You tried again and still nothing. You sighed before walking over to him. "Rafe!" You went to snatch his phone but he caught your wrist. 

"I heard you the first time now what?" He hissed.

You wrenched your wrist away from him. "How could I know when you didn’t even pay me a glance? At least acknowledge me so I know you heard me and then I wouldn't keep saying your name and get on with what I need to say." You huffed.

"Maybe I like it when you say my name." He smirked.

You rolled your eyes as you felt your face heat up, praying that he either would mistake it for a sudden sunburn or would just ignore it.

"What did you want to say?" He asked, stretching out a bit.

"I’m not wearing heels. I can barely walk in my sneakers without breaking a bone. How the hell am I supposed to do heels?" 

Rafe sat there for a few seconds, chewing on his lip before sighing. "What are your thoughts on little miss perfect?"

"Who?"

"My sister. Sarah. Little miss perfect." Rafe rolled his eyes.

You shrugged. You never really even talked to Sarah except for the whole 'get your friend of my boyfriend' fiasco at the boneyard that one night, but that was more towards Kie than you.

"Tomorrow, she’s teaching you how to walk in heels. Even if I have to hold a gun to her head." Rafe finished as the tailor walked back in.

You grimaced at his choice of words as the tailor reassured Rafe that he would get started right away on the dress and make sure it was perfect for the event. 

Rafe smiled, thanked the man for his time, and then beckoned you to follow him out the door. You shot the tailor a smile and a thank you before following Rafe out the door.

"You hungry?" He asked once you both were out on the street. 

You shrugged once again, shoving your hands into your pockets.

Rafe sighed. "You know, you're going to have to talk to me. Like civil, full sentences, classy conversation." 

"I do know how to be civil Rafe. After all, I haven’t swung on quite yet but depending on how the rest of the day goes, maybe that will change." You answered him before looking at his face, "Is that enough sentences for you?"  

You saw him hold back a smile before training his blue eyes on you. "Just answer the question. You hungry or not?"

You smiled. "I guess I could eat."

"Then let’s go eat then get your nails done."

The second day was nothing completely insane. All you did, was sit about until Rafe dropped by, which was the shortest amount of time you spent with him in those four days. Only being with him for an hour that day for literally no reason. 

"Get dressed. We're going out." He told you when you answered the door.

You sighed, looking down at your pajamas.  "But I’m comfy."

Rafe smiled, shaking his head. "Seriously, come on. Let’s get dinner at the Wreck and then eat it at the beach or something." 

“Was this in the itinerary?”

“Not in the slightest but I’m bored and I’m sure you are too.”

You pursed your lips before nodding. "Alright." 

"That didn’t take much convincing." He commented.

"Well, your offering dinner so I’m not gonna say no." 

"You sure that’s all it is."

You looked back to see Rafe’s signature smirk on his face.

"Don’t let it go to your head, Cameron." 

Rafe rolled his eyes before pushing you in the direction of your room. "Go get dressed. I don’t want anyone else seeing you in your pajamas."

You rolled your eyes with a small smile before walking into your room, leaving Rafe in the hallway.

The evening on the third day was Sarah teaching you how to successfully walk in heels without you ending up in the hospital. 

"Why the hell are these so tall?" You asked, looking up at Sarah and Rafe who sat on the couch.

"Good question. Why are they so tall, Sarah? I said to teach her how to walk in heels, not break her ankles before midsummers." Rafe looked at his younger sister.

"You wanted her to learn how to walk in heels, those are heels. I don’t know what else you expected Rafe." Sarah shot at her brother.

"I don't know, something that still has her feet somewhat horizontal to the ground, not diagonal." Rafe glared at her.

"Then you should’ve bought heels for her to practice in."

"Oh, so it’s my fault?" 

"Yeah. Yeah, it is." 

Rafe didn’t respond, just stood up and stormed out of the room, slamming the door behind him. Sarah rolled her eyes before turning her attention back to you.

"Okay, I might have a pair that’s an inch shorter." 

"Bring them out."

You ended up spending the night at the Camerons that night, much to the pogues displeasure.

You just got done brushing your teeth and were laying on Sarah’s bed in a pair of her pajamas when Sarah spoke up.

"So, John B…" 

You shot your head up from the book you found in her room that looked somewhat interesting.

"What about John B?" 

"What’s he like? You know, besides a surfer dude and a felon."

You raised an eyebrow. "What the hell are you on about?"

"He seems… I don’t know… not boring. Not bland. So much better than this life." Sarah sighed, flopping onto her back, arms stretched out.

"Barf in my mouth." You rolled your eyes.

"What? You've never looked at someone and felt a smile tug at your lips for no reason or they look at you and you feel like you are the most gorgeous person in the world. They give you a rush of adrenaline or… or make your head all cloudy."

"Oh my god. You barely even know John B. He's like every other teenage guy. Disgusting, horny, and hungry." You answered. 

Sarah sat up. "That’s the thing. We hung out the entire day today. That’s why I told Rafe to have you come over in the evening. Because I was gone all day."

"So you asked me to spend the night to talk about one of my best friends so you can get in his pants. You've got Topper." You rolled your eyes, getting up from the bed.

"No." She grabbed my wrist. "I think I really like him. He takes me away from the bubble wrap. It’s exciting, the life you guys live. Topper doesn’t take me away from the bubble wrap. If anything, he adds more. When I kissed John B-"

You looked at her. "Wait. What? Listen I like Topper about as much as I like brussel sprouts but I don’t think he deserves his girlfriend kissing another dude before she gets the balls to break up with him." 

"It just happened. And it felt...amazing. I felt breathless like I was on cloud 9." She smiled, ignoring the last bit.

"I'm sure you did. I’m gonna go get some water." You excused yourself.

"Wait." She called.

You turned to look at the blonde and she chucked a pair of heels at you. "Put those on and walk downstairs."

You rolled your eyes before slipping the shoes onto your feet and proceeding put of her room.

Rafe was in the kitchen, snacking on some chips while he was scrolling through his phone. His head shot up when he heard the sound of heels on the stairs. 

He looked towards the entrance of the kitchen and smiled when he saw you enter. 

"You look ridiculous wearing pajamas and heels." He commented. 

You feigned offense, staring at the older boy. "You mean this isn't fashionable? I call it sleeping chic." You did a twirl and Rafe chuckled.

"You know what? It looks wonderful." Rafe placed his arms on the table and leaned forward, watching your every move.

"Your sister threw them at me before I came downstairs. I assume for me to practice but, not to toot my own horn, I think I’m getting the hang of walking in them."

"Go ahead and toot your horn cause if you waltzed up to me at a party the same way you did coming into the kitchen, I would've thought you've been wearing heels your entire life." 

"Why thank you." You grinned, opening the fridge and grabbing a bottle of water. 

You walked over to the island and slid into the seat next to Rafe, opening the bottle before taking a drink.

"You know something, Rafe?" 

"Hmm."

"I haven’t hated spending these past few days with you. You're surprisingly not that annoying." 

Rafe sent you a smile. "Yeah?" 

You nodded, looking at him.

"I haven’t hated spending these days with you either." He nudged you with his shoulder.

You stood up as you grabbed your water before placing a hand on his shoulder.  "See you tomorrow."

"Yep. Don’t forget we’re going to the mainland tomorrow to pick up everything." He cleared his throat.

You nodded and said goodnight before heading back upstairs and into Sarah’s room, shutting the door behind you.

The night of midsummer was hectic. You and Rafe quickly went to the mainland to pick up the dress, heels, and accessories before grabbing some lunch.

It wasn’t long before you asked Rafe to drop you off at Kie’s to get ready. You had a shower before Kie and her mom helped you get ready, her mom gushing about how Rafe will drop dead when he sees you.

You were blushing bright red at the thought as Kie rolled her eyes before you quickly excused yourself so you could change into your dress and pull on your heels that were picked up earlier that day. Rafe insisted on getting you a necklace but you declined once you saw the price tag, telling him you had a nice pair of earrings and a bracelet at home you could wear that you'd ask Kie to pick up.

After Kiara’s mom took pictures, you were at the event, completely out of your element as you tried to find Rafe which was weirdly difficult considering his height.

You heard a low whistle and whipped around, tensing slightly before relaxing. Rafe stood there in a baby blue suit, a small smile on his face as he looked at you.

"You look stunning, Y/N." He complimented.

You felt your cheeks heating up again as you spoke. "Thanks. You look rather dashing yourself."

His smile grew before he offered you his arm. "Shall we mingle?"

You linked your arm through his. "If we have to."

****

After half an hour of mingling and Rafe getting you both a drink, Rafe set down his empty glass. 

"Let’s dance, angel." 

You sighed, slightly flushing at the nickname this time around, before finishing off your drink and setting down the glass. You followed Rafe onto the dance floor and placed your hands on his shoulders as his own went to your waist.

You two swayed side to side, a silence hanging over the two of you for a bit before you broke it.

"Why me?" 

"Hmm." 

"Why did you pay Barry to rent me for a night when any kook girl here would’ve gone with you and it wouldn’t have cost you anything?" You asked quietly.

You saw Rafe swallow before answering. "I...I…don't really know.” He lied, feeling his breathing pick up slightly.

"Rafe. Breathe." You told him.

He did as you said before looking around, his eyes narrowing. 

"I'll be right back." He muttered, removing his arms from your waist and starting to walk away.

"Rafe," You said, grabbing his wrist.

He turned to look at you before turning back to where his eyes were previously looking, chewing on his bottom lip in thought.

You followed his gaze to see JJ looking at you, concern written on your best friend’s face. 

"Leave him alone, Rafe. He’s not doing anything. Just….lets keep dancing." 

Rafe’s eyes went back to yours and he nodded slowly.

You mouthed a quick I’m fine to JJ before putting your hands back on Rafe’s shoulders. 

"Can I tell you something? Well, a couple of things." 

You nodded.

"Well, for starters, I've been trying to get off coke."

"That’s great, Rafe." You grinned, squeezing his shoulders with your hands.

"It’s hard. But I find it easier to not think about getting high when...um...you're with me." Rafe admitted, feeling his cheeks getting hot.

You felt your breathing pick up and tried your best to keep it under control. "Really?" You breathed out.

He nodded before taking his hands off your waist and reaching into his pocket. "I know you said no to me getting you that one necklace but here. I picked this up when you were at the nail salon that day we were getting your dress altered." 

Rafe handed you a little box and you could practically feel the nervousness radiating off of him as you took it in your own shaking hands. Rafe, for the first time in ages, felt shy in front of a girl and scared of being rejected.

You opened the box to see a little necklace resting in the box, the word angel attached to it. 

"How much was it?" You asked, not wanting him to spend any more money on you than he needed to for this event.

Too late though.

Rafe scratched the back of his neck as he looked down. "I’d rather not answer that question."

Your eyes widened and you smacked his chest. "Rafe Cameron!" You whispered harshly before putting it back in his hands. "I can't accept and keep that. I already planned on giving you the dress and heels back and paying you back for the manicure and pedicure. I can’t keep this in good conscience just because I agreed to be your date tonight. You don’t have to give me a present, you already paid Barry and bought this shit."

Rafe licked his lips as he looked around before looking back towards you. "I shouldn’t have paid Barry unless I was renting Barry, I should've paid you. I technically should've just asked you without paying but I was nervous and I was scared. I knew Barry would let me take you out for the right price and I took advantage of it. It’s just- I caught feelings for you somehow in the last month okay. Like actual feelings and I- I think you're-"

"An angel. Your angel." You finished for him.

Rafe nodded sheepishly before shoving the box back into his pocket. "I always turned to coke for comfort and I feel like when I’m with you, I don’t need to turn to coke for that comfort. I can turn to you. I’m sorry. It’s stupid, I'll just go." 

Rafe turned around but you grabbed him yet again. "It’s not stupid." You whispered before pressing your lips to his.

Rafe was surprised for a second before he kissed back, his hands coming up to cup your face.

After you two pulled away, Rafe smiled. "Does this mean you'll take the necklace?"

You nodded before reaching into his pocket and pulling out the box. 

"Can you?" You asked, gesturing towards the box.

"I would love to." He said, taking the necklace in his hands and placing it around your neck, doing the clasp in the back. 

"Told you she would catch feelings in those four days," Pope stated as he looked at JJ.

JJ clenched his jaw before turning away. "I gotta go find Sarah."

~~~~~

[sfb123]

Sapere Aude - Part 9

Book: The Royal Heir

Pairing: King Liam Rys x Queen Riley Brooks

All characters belong to Pixelberry.

Catch Up Here

Series Description: I developed a theory of what I think will happen in TRH Book 4, and I was encouraged by some very lovely people to turn my theory into a fic, so here it is. Basically, Riley is recruited to join the Via Imperii, this series will follow her as she joins them to try and bring them down from the inside, and all of the drama and bombshells she learns along the way. Sapere Aude is Latin for “dare to know” it seemed like an appropriate title.

Rating: PG-13 Adult language, allusions to smut (but nothing graphic), discussions of death, conspiracy, blackmail, and other adult themes.

Warning: The Royal Heir Book 3 Spoilers all over the place.

Word Count: 2,655

A/N: Before I dive in, a little bit of unpleasant business to address. As you may know, there is another writer that is also working on a Via Imperii themed fic. We had been working together to make sure our stories didn’t overlap to the point of plagiarism, sharing ideas and pre-reading each others work. That partnership was abruptly, and unbeknownst to me, put to a halt this week (3/28/21). She has not read this chapter, and I have not read any of hers past her chapter 9 (which I don’t think I ever saw the final version of, so let’s safely say chapter 8). I just wanted to put that out there in the universe, I don’t want any previous approvals or conversations to be implied or carried over into work I have not, and will not, see. No ill will, it is what it is, I just want to make sure that nobody is misrepresenting anyone’s involvement in anything. 

HUGE shout out to my hype squad, @jessiembruno & @txemrn. It’s no secret that I haven’t been feeling to great about myself lately, and they’ve been so great about talking me through it and encouraging me to keep going. 

As always, shout out to @twinkleallnight for my amazing, and updated, moodboard!

Tags: I think my tags actually got figured out, so tags are below, but not in the comments as I usually do. If you don’t get the tag, let me know (which is a weird thing to say, because you might not even be seeing this).

Riley stood at the stove, scrambling eggs, when she suddenly felt Liam’s arms wrap around her as he kissed her neck. “Good morning, love. You’re up early.” He said in between kisses. 

“Hey you.” She shut off the burner and turned in his arms, reaching up to cup his cheek. “How are you feeling?” She looked at him with worry in her eyes. 

“I’m...past the worst of it, thanks to you.” He kissed her softly on the lips. “I’m just ready to move forward and come up with a plan to end all of this. Then I can deal with everything else.”

“You don’t have to bottle it all up until this is over, Liam. You can talk to me.”

“I know, you’ve more than proven that to me.” He winked, a slight smirk on his face. “Taking them down is how I need to work through it. It seems as though a majority of the struggles we have faced have been at the hands of the Via Imperii. Getting my revenge and eliminating them will be a cathartic, healing experience. It needs to happen for the country, and for my own piece of mind.”  

She nodded and pulled out of his embrace, taking his hand and walking him toward the island. “Good, that’s what we’ll do then. Sit and I’ll get a plate together for you. I need to fill you in on the rest before everyone gets here.”

“Everyone?” He asked as he watched her walk back to the stove and put two plates together. 

“I texted Maxwell this morning, he’s going to come back with Drake so that he can work with us on a plan. He’s already had time to process his dad’s shittyness, so you and Drake won’t have to do all the heavy lifting while dealing with your news.” She placed a plate down in front of him and sat down.

Liam looked at her confused, “Why would Drake still be processing my news? You told him the other day, didn’t you?”

Riley took a deep breath, there was so much she didn’t get a chance to tell Liam the night before. She would have to get through it all now. He had to be completely filled in before Drake and Maxwell arrived. “Not your news, Liam. I had some for him too.”

Riley filled Liam in on the rest of the information she had learned that weekend. Treading lightly when he spoke about Eleanor, making sure not to refer to as his mother, she would simply say ‘she’ and Liam understood. Liam sat there, pushing his own pain aside so he could focus on the task at hand, while also being there for Drake. He knew Drake, and he knew that he was likely feeling a similar storm of emotions, but being the selfless kind hearted soul Liam knew he was, he wasn’t dealing with any of that. Instead, Drake was keeping himself busy by taking care of his friends, just like he had his whole life.

After breakfast, Liam rescheduled his and Riley’s meetings and commitments for the day so that they could focus on the task at hand. Eleanor had her lessons, Drake planned on dropping her off in the Great Room when they arrived at the palace, giving them a couple of hours to talk. Liam and Riley finished getting ready for the day, and headed into the living room just in time to hear the knock on the door. Liam answered. 

Maxwell was the first to enter, bounding in and raising his arms over his head “The party is here.” He walked up to Riley and gave her their secret handshake before pulling her into a hug. 

Drake entered and Liam shut the door behind him. They turned to face each other, and nodded in silent understanding. Liam extended his hand and Drake took it in a handshake that was quickly, and mutually, pulled into a hug. They stayed like that for several moments speaking to each other in hushed tones that only the two of them could hear. 

After a few moments, Maxwell spoke up. “Hey, how come you guys never hug me like that?”

“Maxwell!” Riley yelled in a hushed tone as she elbowed him in the side, making a rapid throat cutting gesture when he looked at her, signaling that he should leave it alone. 

They finally pulled away, clearing their throats as they separated. Drake walked up to Riley, giving her a hug, as Liam approached Maxwell and shook his hand.

“Let’s sit, there’s a lot to go over.” Liam signaled toward the couch as he approached Riley, wrapping an arm around her waist.

Riley gave Liam a reassuring look. “Should we get Bastien in here as well? He should be a part of this.” She suggested. 

“Absolutely. You sit, love. I’ll go get him.” Liam walked her to the couch and kissed the top of her head as she sat, before going back to the front door to retrieve Bastien. 

Once everyone was there, Riley looked to Liam for the next move. She wasn’t sure which of them would take the lead on this conversation, not knowing if Liam would be able to get through the parts of the story that he had learned the night before. He took her hand in his and nodded at her as a signal to begin the conversation. 

“Ok, so we have a new threat. Well, an old threat, but in a new and soul crushing package.” She paused for a moment and looked around the room. Liam and Drake were fully filled in, Bastien was partially aware of the situation, and Maxwell was completely in the dark. The best thing to do would be to start at the beginning. 

With that, Riley explained everything, her conversation with Eirik at Applewood, the meeting in Portavira, and of course everything that had happened during her Valtoria trip. She made sure to grip Liam’s hand a little tighter when she got to the part about Eleanor, when Drake also reached over and placed a comforting hand on his friend’s back. The news of Eleanor and Jackson’s involvement, on top of Eleanor not being quite as dead as everyone thought, obviously, a total shock to those in the room hearing it for the first time. Maxwell’s jaw dropped, his hand quickly moving to cover it as tears welled up in his eyes. For the first time in his life, Maxwell was speechless.

Riley looked over to Bastien, who was standing by Drake’s chair. She was surprised by the emotion etched in his typically stoic face. Then she realized, she had been so worried about everyone else, that she didn’t consider how difficult this news may be for Bastien. Jackson Walker had taken a young, fresh-faced Bastien under his wing when he first joined the King’s guard, and invited him into his family. Bastien had been alone most of his life, so becoming an unofficial Walker gave him a sense of belonging and home that he hadn’t felt since he was a little boy. He had known Jackson was a member of the Via Imperii, he was trying to recruit Bastien prior to his death, but the way Jackson talked about it didn’t line up with what he had learned in the last couple of weeks. Suddenly it all made sense, the information he was getting was based off of the original plan that Jackson had been working on. If he was killed for going against them, it would explain why they stopped pursuing Bastien after his death. He always found something a little suspicious about Jackson’s death, this just confirmed it, and made him want to exact his revenge for the man that had given him everything. 

The room was silent as everyone continued to process the information. Maxwell was the first to speak up. “You guys, I don’t even know what to say. I mean my dad was bad news, but this is a whole other level.” He looked at Liam, “I mean, a coma is one thing, but to pretend to actually be dead? And then to find out you have a brother?!” 

“Thank you Maxwell. It has been a...trying few hours to say the least.” Liam squeezed Riley’s hand a little tighter to keep himself calm. “But that is why you are here. We need to work together to remove them once and for all.” 

“So, what do we do?” Drake chimed in. 

“That’s what we need to figure out. How do you take down a group that nobody even knows exists?” Riley looked around the room, hoping one of the men might have a suggestion. 

Bastien cleared his throat to get the room’s attention. “Perhaps we start by getting some form of hard evidence against them. Something tangible, and undeniable.”

“Yea, we could release it publicly. If everyone knows they exist, and what they’re up to, they won’t have any power.” Maxwell agreed.

Riley nodded. “Ok, that could work. How do we do that? I mean, I’m a member or whatever, but I don’t think you can just borrow membership records, or like walk in taking pictures.” 

‘We could send you in with a hidden camera or recorder of some kind.” Liam suggested. “I don’t want to get Amalas involved, we can’t be certain where her loyalties lie, but Olivia could be of help to us on that front.”

Drake interjected, skepticism in his tone. “Yea, but can we trust her? Her family isn’t really known for their loyalty to the crown.”

Liam stood from his seat. “Historically, you are correct Drake. The Nevrakis family has never been particularly with their standing within the monarchy, but I think that Olivia has more than proven herself. Not only in her loyalty to the crown, but in her loyalty to me personally.”

“Yea Drake, she’s had our backs through everything.” Riley also stood, linking her arm with Liam’s in a show of support. “Besides, in the few conversations I’ve had with these people, they don’t speak too highly of the Nevrakis line, they don’t seem like they would have much interest in bringing her onboard.” 

“Alright, let’s get her involved.” Drake ran a hand through his hair, still not fully convinced, but knowing he was outnumbered. 

“Great. Liam, you and Drake should work with Olivia to get it set up. I’ll talk to Mara and see when I will be meeting with them next, so that we know our timeline.” Riley turned to Bastien, “Bastien, since Hana is in Shanghai, I guess you’ll be taking her place in this mission.”

“Of course, your majesty. Should we make our way to the boutique so I can assist you in finding something to wear?”

Everyone stared blankly at Bastien, the corners of Riley’s mouth slowly turned upward. “Bastien, did you just make a joke?”

“Yes your majesty, I know you all tend to try to add a little levity to situations such as these.”

“Correction…” Maxwell stood up and positioned himself in front of Bastien, “I add levity. I’m the funny one, not Hana. Know your role.”

“My apologies, Lord Beaumont.” Bastien bowed out of respect, but mostly to hide the grin that started to spread across his face.

As the group continued to chat, there was a knock at the door. Soon after, Eleanor came barrelling into the room. “Mommy, daddy, I’m home!” She ran straight for her parents who knelt down to greet her. 

“Hello princess, we missed you so much.” Liam wrapped Eleanor in a hug. 

As he held his daughter, Riley noticed Thomas entering the room. She stood, giving Drake, Maxwell, and Batien a concerned look. This would be the first time Liam would be face to face with him, knowing who he was. 

Bastien rushed over to him, trying to usher him out of the room before Liam noticed. Just as he reached Thomas, the King stood up and looked directly at Thomas, his eyes going wide at the sight of his brother. He quickly shook his head and put his most stoic expression in place. Everyone exchanged worried glances. Riley turned to Liam and linked her hand with his, giving it a gentle squeeze to reassure him that he wasn’t alone. 

“Your majesties, Eleanor did wonderfully today. I was very impressed with how much she learned today.” Thomas bowed as he addressed the King and Queen. 

Liam gripped Riley’s hand tightly, as if he were falling from a building and she was the ledge preventing him from plummeting to his death. He opened his mouth to speak, but he couldn’t manage to get any words out. It didn’t matter, even if he could find his voice, he had no idea what he would say. 

“Thank you Thomas, that will be all for today.” Riley jumped in to break the silence. 

Thomas bowed and exited the room. Bastien gave the group a sad smile before bowing and following him out of the room. 

“Hey Eleanor, weren’t you telling me about a new dress you were excited about? Want to do a fashion show for Uncle Max?” Maxwell held his hand out to Eleanor, knowing that he needed to give Liam a moment. 

“Fashion show! Fashion show!” Eleanor grabbed Maxwell by the hand and pulled him down the hall. He looked back and nodded at his friends. Riley mouthed a silent ‘thank you’ to him as he rounded the corner. 

“Liam?” Riley turned to face Liam, placing a hand on his cheek. Without a word, he wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her flush against him, burying his face in her hair. “I know Liam. It’s ok, we’ll get through this.” She peered over his shoulder, giving Drake a sad look. 

Drake approached the pair and patted Liam on the shoulder. “For what it’s worth, you handled it better than I would have.”

Liam pulled himself from Riley’s arms, and scrubbed his hand over his face, letting out a deep sigh. “Thank you both. That was...difficult.” 

“Should we talk to Bastien about having him reassigned?” Riley looked up at her husband.

Liam shook his head. “No, the timing will make it too obvious, they will know you told me. I won’t put you in danger like that.” His face had a slight look of panic. 

Riley was reminded of the conversation they had much earlier that morning, and Liam expressing his fear of losing her. She knew she had to do something to bring him back from that place. She gently placed one hand on his cheek and drew his face down to hers. As their foreheads met, she whispered “I’m right here. Always.” Before placing a gentle kiss on his lips.

“All we can do right now is get to work so that we can put all this behind us. We’ll deal with Thomas, and everyone else, after that.” The sound of Drake’s voice brought Riley and Liam out of the moment. 

Liam cleared his throat before turning to address his friend. “Right. Olivia will be here in a couple of days for the council meeting. We will speak with her then.”

Drake nodded. “I’ll go grab Maxwell and we’ll get out of your hair.” He approached Liam and placed a hand on his shoulder. “You’ll reach out if you need me?”

“I should be asking you that question.” Liam arched an eyebrow in response. “One of us is significantly more forthcoming with our emotions than the other.” 

“Touché.” Drake laughed as he clapped Liam on the shoulder. 

Maxwell and Drake said their goodbyes, and headed out leaving the royal family to themselves. They had a big fight ahead of them, but in this moment, Riley and Liam just wanted to be a family. Not a King and Queen with the heir, not warriors preparing for battle, a husband and wife spending time with their daughter. 

Continue Reading

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Sapere Aude: @burnsoslow @busywoman @ofpixelsandscribbles

Liam x Riley: @jared2612

[djmarinizelablog]

Christmas Birthday

If there's something that Levi despises about December, it’s the fact that it’s not summer. He hates it that there's snow blocking the pathway outside their apartment, and hates it even more that he's going to have back pains from shoveling it on his own. His friends are useless when it comes to household chores during the winter.

"Levi, you're getting stressed, and it's almost your birthday." Hange puts a hand on his shoulder while he’s studying and squeezes him with affection. "Maybe you should take a break for a while."

"I can't, Hange," he says as he buries his face in his hands. His textbook is propped wide open in front of him, but everything’s garbled right now in his mind. Nothing’s getting absorbed. He’s been thinking about too many things at the same time, and he knows that’s not a good sign. On top of having to pass his final exams next week, he’s thinking about the professor he hates, his mother waiting for him to come home, and him surviving this gruesome month.

But Hange is insistent. "Come on, just for the weekend. What do you say to a trip to the mountains?" She kisses the top of his head and that’s how he relents. Levi can’t really deny her anything these days. They use Hange’s car for a little weekend getaway trip to the winter cabins just an hour and a half away from their campus. "I mean, I can't turn the winter into summer, but we can always leave some room for imagination." She then winks at him as she drives.

They're both clad in warm clothing, their winter jackets and snow boots thick enough to fight the cold, and Levi can feel his cheeks heating up. Maybe this is what it means to be in love. As he sits in silence on the passenger's seat, Levi watches the scenery drastically change from the residential area to the snowy mountains, the landscape all veiled in white. The sight is a beauty to behold. He turns his head towards Hange and she's smiling at him. This is technically their first date, and truth be told, he's more than excited to be going out with his best friend.

It really isn't summer at all, but they can somehow pretend. He can imagine himself going skiing with Hange, maybe do some cross-country racing with her as they traverse down the snowy slopes. Running past the thick trees blanketed in snow. Shouting words of love from the top of his lungs. He's not even a sappy person. Perhaps this isn’t going to be so bad at all. He knows he can handle this.

However, he’s proved otherwise when they finally arrive at their destination. Instead of a ski lodge, Hange has brought him to a small mountain hill.

"Wait, aren't we going to a ski lodge?" He's confused.

"Who said we're going to one?"

Levi tries to recall their conversation and realizes that Hange has never mentioned what they were about to do. "What was your idea right from the very start?"

"Well... skiing is quite expensive, but uhm, this one isn't." Hange climbs out of her car and pops the trunk. He follows her outside and sees something huge covered with a red blanket. Levi's mouth opens when Hange removes the blanket, revealing a giant plastic sled.

Levi has never been so discombobulated, dumbfounded, and disconcerted all at the same time. "What the fuck? Sledding is for kids."

"Aren't you excited?" She beams at him as she takes out the sled. "I was like 9 the last time I went sledding!"

"Hange, I am not sliding down a hill with a bunch of brats."

"Oh, you won't be alone. I'll be with you." She grins at him and holds her hand out for Levi to grab on.

He huffs in defeat and takes it anyway. They trudge along the top of the steep hill right where the parents are, waiting to push their kids down the smooth snowy ground. Said parents are also eyeing them with judgment—just two college kids, technically grownups in terms of age, dragging a children’s sled right behind them.

"You ready? Go sit." Hange positions the sled right at the brink of the hill.

He'd want to protest and go home, but he also doesn't want to hurt Hange's feelings. Maybe he can pretend not to be an asshole and a killjoy for a day. He sighs and puts one foot inside the sled, slowly, to test it out. He can definitely fit inside, and he has to swallow his pride to admit it. Once his arms and legs are properly tucked in, he looks up at Hange. "This is extremely embarrassing. What now?"

Hange then clambers inside as well, sitting right behind him, her legs on either side of his hips, her arms around his small frame. It feels somehow comforting. She then holds onto the reins. As much as he wants to focus on the view in front of him—the white slope heading down, the pine trees covered in snow beyond them, the bone-dry skies—Levi can't help but notice Hange's breathing against his nape. He likes it when she’s this close to him.

"Ready?" She doesn't wait for her answer and pushes themselves off the edge. Levi yelps from the sudden motion, and finally, they plunge down into the depths of winter wonderland.

It's a blur, it's a whirlwind, all the whiteness of the surroundings passing them by as they speed past the trees lining up the side of the hill. He looks up at the skies and sees the birds soaring through the air, the cold rush hitting their faces.

Perhaps this is what it means to be free. All the stress gone in an instant. The entire ride feels like an adrenaline rush, like a rollercoaster, all the joy and the thrill in his mind. Right behind him is Hange whooping and laughing as if she's having the time of her life.

Levi's still struck with awe when he realizes that there's something sticking out of the snowy ground a few feet away from them. "Is that a rock? Hange, shit, swerve, swerve, swerve!"

Hange does so in time, avoiding the rock that could have toppled them over, or worse, sent them flying through the air. She maneuvers them back into the path and continues speeding down the hill, the powdery snow flying around them as they slide halfway down the path. The children at the bottom are cheering them on, and the next thing he knows, he's laughing as well.

He can feel the ridges of the slope beneath them, their bottoms at the mercy of the bumps of the uneven terrain. It's a magical experience, nevertheless, and Hange's right: they can imagine summer in this dreaded snow if they try hard enough.

However, they both don't notice another rock protruding from the ground and Hange is unable to maneuver them out of the way. The sled jerks from the sudden movement, and out he goes.

It all happens in slow-motion: Levi flying out of the sled just like in the lyrics of Skyline Pigeon (fly!), his limbs all useless as he rockets into the air, his cursing filling everyone's ears. He hits the snowy ground with a thud, face-first, but the humiliation doesn't stop there. Since he's in the middle of the inclined plane, he rolls down unceremoniously for the remainder of the slope like an avalanche, except he's human and this metaphor is just as horrible as his pride—dissipating with every tumble on his sorry ass until he finally reaches the bottom of the hill, right where the kids are watching him, his face covered with snow.

He groans and the kids start snickering. He tilts his head up and he can see Hange climbing out of the sled, completely unscathed for some miraculous reason, her face painted with joy as she comes running up to him.

"What do you think? I'm so glad I was able to borrow this sled from the neighbor!"

Hange helps him up as they pat down the snow that had clung to their pants. She's breathing hard from the exhilaration of their ride, and Levi can see the small tufts of air coming out of her mouth.

Levi clicks his tongue. "This was not what I expected."

She stops dusting off her jacket. "Oh," Hange says, disappointed. "Sorry, I really should have gone with the skiing—"

"No, we should use an air mattress next time," he tells her, holding her hand. "But let's do it again."

--------

My gift for @snudootchaikovsky. I hope you like it! I wanted to play around with the prompt and combine Christmas + summer vibes in one drabble, so here's what I came up with.

(This is technically a teaser for the next chapter of SOS tbh so I will probably dedicate the Chapter 12 to you!)

[achliegh]

Golden

Yeehaw Leo… it's all because this song came on one day (I don’t even really listen to country anymore so it really is fate). Leo is based off that song, each chapter is going to be based off a yeehaw song too.

Characters belong to @lumosinlove

Beta: @the-most-slyterin-hufflepuff & @punkkkboi

TW/CW: Smut, terrible yeehaw sayings and jokes, injuries, mentions of past death/suicide, minor character death, underage drinking, mentions of past arrests, cringe

Chapter Songs (listening in order is recommended):

Chapter 9:

FMRN

Would You Go With Me

My Stress

Today was the day, Leo was moving to Gryffindor with two sexy hockey players who actually want him. He hasn’t stopped smiling for the last 26 hours. He was currently in the shower while his boys packed a ‘sexy time’ bag in his closet. Casually bopping to the beat of FMRN as he rinsed off his body. Stepping out of the shower he starts drying off. Legs, stomach, chest, face and everything else. Walking to the closet for the connecting door to the bathroom he finds Finn sitting on a suitcase and Logan trying to zip it shut. Shaking his head he walks over to this plane clothes and starts getting dressed, just a simple pair of jeans, t shirt, belt and baseball cap.

The music was still in the background as Logan jumps up and whoops with triumph. Skipping over to Leo he pulls him in for a rather aggressive, excited, kiss with Finn following with his own sweet and gentle one of his own.

“That bag is crazy full, just so you know.” Finn smiles and kisses Logan’s forehead, the shorter of them was still buzzing like he drank six energy drinks. They heard a bell being rung for breakfast and all sprint over each other to get downstairs.

Judy does not play when it comes to breakfast.

After a healthy morning breakfast of shrimp and grits, or cheese grits if you are Leo, everyone started packing up the vehicles. Leo gets car sick a lot of the time in smaller cars so he is driving them to the airport, ‘them’ meaning Clay and Reg… Finn and Logan got kicked out into Thomas and Noelle's car. Logan fought a little about it but Finn knew that Leo still needed his space. So convincing Logan to go with him by offering a bag of salt and vinegar pork rinds, was rather easy.

Finn has noticed how easy to fall Leo is, he just hopes that Leo doesn’t hesitate with them. Logan didn’t make a very good impression the first time they left. Ever since then Leo has been, understandably, cautious around them. It hurts a little but Finn only ever notices after he looks back on a situation. How Leo looks unsure or hesitates to touch them.

He figured them living together might help Leo open up to him. He just wants him to be happy and safe with them.

“Why am I so nervous…? I have been talking about these two for the entire summer. Shouldn’t I be more excited?” Leo opens the gate with an app on his phone before setting it down in the cupholder. Reg and Clay share a look.

Leo has taken to getting drunk to open up about his fears, Reg and Clay have both become therapists for a sad Leo who isn’t thinking right. It usually stems from Logan's words he used to kiss Leo goodbye for the first time.

‘You are just… a guy who we had a fling’

‘You don’t mean anything to us Leo’

‘Stop being a fucking child Leo!’

Those words haunt Leo when he isn’t distracted in some way. It has gotten better ever since their trip to Gryffindor the first time, but they knew it still bothered him.

“Maybe it's because you are living somewhere away from Peanut for so long.” Clay smiles at him when their eyes meet in the rearview mirror.

“I did try and convince Logan to let him come with, but it was a no. I still can’t believe he is afraid of horses.” Leo snorts and visibly relaxes.

“You know you can always stay with me if you ever need anything, right?” Reg looks at him and gives him a soft smile. Leo squeezes his bicep in thanks. They continue the rest of the drive by Clay annoying Regulus until Reg climbs into the backseat to give him a couple of smacks with a bag of sunflower seeds.

A plane ride and a sleepy car ride later, Leo was carrying most of his bag into Finn’s apartment. He set everything down in the second bedroom and looked around. This was the smallest bedroom he has ever been in… But he was hoping he’d be spending most of his time in the master bedroom anyway. Biting his lip at the thought he is jolted out of his thoughts by two idiots trying to squeeze through the room door at the same time.

“I think we are stuck…”

“Non, I can get us out!” Logan pushes the bag that was in between then onto the floor and they both go toppling over. Leo couldn’t help that laugh that flew out of his mouth. He walks over to help them out just to be pulled into the pile on the ground. Right on top of his baseball bag.

“Oh fuck! Bat in my ribs!”

“You brought a bat!?” Logan is looking at him like he's insane but helps him stand after pushing Finn off himself. “How are you going to use that on the ice?”

“Lo… he plays baseball, not hockey.” Logan rolls his eyes and just ‘blah blah blah’s behind Finn’s back. “Why did you bring it though? It’s going to be too cold to play.”

“Gryff has an indoor batting cage, I looked it up before we left. Shouldn’t you know everything here by now?” Leo starts laying the bags out in a line and opening them up to start organizing the room. Clothes are first.

“Lo doesn’t get out much.” He gets a swift smack to the chest with a pair of long socks from said hermit. Rubbing his chest he smiles. “I have no excuse. Where do you want these?” Holding up the third pair of boots he has found while rummaging in Leo’s bags he holds them up.

“By the wall please.”

“So polite. Logan, you could learn something from him.” Logan makes a sound of offense and was going to say something back in return but Leo turns on his speaker and starts playing some country yeehaw shit, it's growing on him and he won’t lie about it.

“I love this song.” Leo grabs Logan by the wrist and pulls him close, one hand on his waist and the other interlocking their fingers. Swaying to the beat he suddenly pulls away to grab Finn's hand and spins him into his chest while singing “If I gave you my hand, would you take it And make me the happiest man in the world? If I told you my heart couldn't beat one more minute without you, Finn. Would you accompany me to the edge of the sea? Let me know if you're really a dream. I love you so, so would you go with me?”

Swinging Finn around as Logan watched in awe Leo is pulling away from Finn and holding his hand out to Logan. Breathing slightly heavy just smiling his bright chipped smile with his wild blue eyes. Logan can’t help but take his hand and let himself be spun so his back is to Leo’s chest as he mumbles those same words into his shoulder. “If I gave you my hand, would you take it? And make me the happiest man in the world? If I told you my heart couldn't beat one more minute without you, Lo. Would you accompany me to the edge of the sea? Let me know if you're really a dream. I love you so, so would you go with me?”

Hours of dancing and actual unpacking later, Logan had to leave to watch the kids while Celeste and Dumo head to their eye appointments. Leo was sprawled out on the sofa, mostly asleep, when he felt a kiss on his temple and heard some mumbling.

“I’m going on a run, I’ll be back. Okay?” Nodding a couple seconds later after the question sunk in, Leo gives him a quick peck on the lips and buries himself back into the couch.

When he wakes up Finn still isn’t back, his own phone is dead, and it's cold. He sets his feet on the ground after sitting up and a shiver runs through his body. Wrapping his arms around himself he walks to his new room and pulls on his thickest socks, that just happen to have a hole that his big toes catches on. He also decides to change into his one pair of sweats, the Lions ones from the hockey game, and the sweatshirt he wore with them. Putting the hood up and pulling it tight so just his face isn't covered, tying a little bow he doesn’t care how he looks, he’s warmish now.

Wandering into the kitchen and plugging his phone into an outlet in the island, he texts the boys asking what they want to eat, turning on the oven would feel nice. While he's waiting for a response he decided to look around. He walks into the living room where he was just napping to look at all the pictures Finn has of his team, family, friends and him and Logan.

Smiling he picks up a picture frame with Finn on some guy's back, Leo thinks his name is Kasey if he remembers properly. They are in a fountain but only Kasey is wet. He sets it down and picks up a picture that is not in a frame but just laying on the table. Odd. It is of Finn and Logan, they look younger and Logan has a blonde streak in his hair. They are smiling wider than Leo has ever seen them smile. Finn has his arm around Logan’s shoulder and Logan has his arm around Finn’s waist.

Their cheeks are pressed together. It’s sweet. Leo turns the picture over and reads what is written on the back.

‘The year I found the one.’

Leo smiles and sets the picture back down, walking over the wall that has pictures literally taped to it. He makes a mental note to buy some frames. He is taking in all the smiles of people he didn’t know, a man looking like Finn and Finn actually headbutting in a picture makes him laugh.

He hears his phone ding with a text notification, he makes his way over and notices the corner of a picture sticking out from under the couch. He pauses in his path and bends down to pick it up. It’s folded, but it’s a picture of Finn and Logan at the bonfire that Leo took them too. Leo unfolds the side of the picture and realises… there is a crease over his own face.

Ouch.

He folds the crease again and sees how it completely cuts him out of the picture. Leo actually has this same picture in the back of his phone case. Suddenly that tiny drop of doubt becomes flooding water filling up his head. Putting the picture down on the counter after he walks back over to the phone.

He opens his messages to the boys needing steak for dinner… maybe… Did they forget? He sighs and feels the doubt flooding from his brain to his heart. Shaky hands start some music to hopefully distract himself from the smell and texture of meat. Clicking his phone off he starts working on dinner.

Finn and Logan walk in the apartment together, laughing and still sweaty from the run that Logan joined Finn half way through. Taking off their shoes and setting Logan’s bag by the door, a heavenly smell fingers their nose holes.

They share a look of confusion for a moment when they realize the smell is actually steak… They thought Leo would have gotten the joke but maybe not. Maybe the ‘lol’ and ‘lmao definitely’ weren’t obvious enough. They make their way to the kitchen and hear the music and the sizzle of a pan.

They turn the corner to see Leo, looking rather sad. His eyebrows are furrowed and he looks slightly green, he is watching a small steak cook in a pan with no emotion in those normally challenging eyes. His hair looks like he has ran his hands through it and gripped it so it is standing wildly on his head. His hood is tied but not on his head. He is slightly shivering from either it being cold or something else.

Finn was the first to approach him. Resting his hand gently on Leo’s as they hold the spatula with a death grip, he takes the tool away and tosses it towards the sink and having no clue where it landed. Logan has taken it upon himself to turn off the stove and move the pan off the heat.

“Leo?”

“Are you using me?” Leo just blurts out what he is thinking and automatically regrets it from the look of hurt on Finn’s face and the look of anger on Logan’s.

“Let's talk about this while we clean these.” Finn holds up Leo’s hand to inspect the tiny knife cuts he accidently got from chopping onions. Being pulled towards the bathroom, Leo is told to sit on the counter. He does. Logan takes the peroxide from Finn and wets a couple of cotton balls with it.

Scrunching his nose as Logan dabs his small nicks he looks up at Finn who is holding two boxes of bandages, one box is Bob the Builder theme and the other is Hello Kitty. Smiling Leo nods towards the Hello Kitty ones.

“What makes you think we are using you?” Leo zones out for a second, thinking about the song that is still playing in the kitchen and how they need to turn the music off. “Leo.” He remembers that he was being asked a question and clears his throat.

“I don’t know, It’s just that you guys were already together before I came into your relationship. I just feel like maybe I’m just here to piss people off or as some… I dunno fetish maybe. I know it hasn’t been super long but I thought that maybe you would have one or two pictures of me. And I saw the folded one where it’s folded over me…” He is avoiding looking at Logan at all costs.

“I can’t speak for Logan,” Finn cups his cheek and makes him look at him. “But I really really like you, and I’m definitely with you, for you.” Smiling at him Leo lets himself be kissed and melts into it. Pulling away they both look towards Logan, who seems to be lost for words.

“I can’t believe you would think of us like that!” Finn gives him a warning look and Logan takes a deep breath. “Sorry, I just- I’m not good at this type of stuff. I’m really bad at expressing my feelings and emotions, usually I show them in other ways.” He takes Leo's hand and plays with his fingers. “I’m sorry I just snapped a second ago, I’m used to Finn speaking for the both of us… but I’m realizing that makes us ‘one’ in this relationship when obviously there are two of us that really want you.” Leo smiled a little and lifted Logan's hand to his lips giving it a few kisses.

“I really like you too, Lo.” he smiles the tiniest smile and turns to look at Finn. “I like you too.”

Logan and Finn lean in to kiss Leo’s cheeks at the same time. Smiling, Leo lets himself receive the affection without worrying if it's real.

He can worry when he is alone.

[slapshot-to-the-heart]

merry christmas, ya filthy animal

Hi guys! This is my contribution for @hockeynetwork holiday gift exchange, it’s 2.5k of sweet Tito fluff for @dreamypeaches and I hope you all like it. As always, I read all the tags and love love hearing your feedback, so hop into my inbox and reblog if you like it! 

word count: 2.5k+

Everyone has a favorite movie. Some go for a childhood classic like Cinderella, some find an indie documentary from a film class in college, some inherit their parents’ love for the Princess Bride or Casablanca. Not you. For you, there was no movie that could hold a candle to Home Alone 2: Lost in New York. You had watched it for the first time maybe around 7 or 8 years old, and had been hooked ever since, and even Donald Trump’s five-second cameo couldn’t taint the love you had for it. But your favorite part, other than the large cheese pizza and stretch limousine, was the end. The Christmas tree at Rockefeller Center, Kevin and his mom finally reuniting after she moved heaven and earth to get back to her son by Christmas. 

It wasn’t your first Christmas in New York City, but it was the first one where it really felt like it was your city, like you belonged to it. And it was your first Christmas with Tito. You had started dating earlier in the year, just as the team was starting to make the big push for playoffs and two months or so before he left to Montréal for the summer. It was strange while he was there, not just because he was hundreds of miles away and in a whole different country, but because the two of you had only been exclusive for a few months and were set to be separated for three. You flew up for Canada Day and met his parents, and he came back for a week in August, but the interim was filled with more FaceTime calls and lonely nights than either of you would care to admit. 

But summer was long over, the leaves had fallen from all the London planes, and the temperature had started to drop below freezing even in the day. The cold weather wasn’t always great; you didn’t love having to scrape the ice off of your windshield or trudge through the slush when it was too early for the snow to stick to the ground, but you wouldn’t change it for the world. One thing that winter changed was date plans. Unless you hit it at just the right time, coffee in the morning was more prone to freeze your fingers off than warm you up, having dinner outside — normally one of your favorite things to do together — was all-but banned after November, and you could only walk around Central Park so many times. And it wasn’t for lack of trying; you knew for a fact that Anthony had spent hours on plane rides trying to figure out what was open, flipping in between Google and the weather app. He was making an effort, though, and that’s what mattered. 

Which is why you weren’t particularly surprised when he showed up at your apartment door on Christmas Eve, twelve hours after he asked you if you had plans that night. You didn’t and it wasn’t a game day, so he told you to dress warm and be ready by 8. You were waiting by the door five minutes early. He greeted you with a hug and a kiss on the cheek, closing the door behind you. “Did you already eat? I know it’s pretty late already but I think I saw a few food trucks by where we’re going if you’re still hungry.”

You nodded your head. “Anthony. It’s 8 at night. ‘Course I’ve already eaten.”

He ducked his head in embarrassment, the slightest pink appearing on his cheeks. “Should have figured.”

“It’s fine,” you said, slipping your hand into his and smiling. “You going to tell me where we’re going, though?”

“Wouldn’t be a surprise if I did,” he said. 

You should have known by the duffel bag in the backseat what his plans were, but some thirty minutes later and he was pulling into a parking lot off of West 49th, shouldering the bag and looking over to you with a grin. “What’s a Christmas in New York without ice skating at Rockefeller Center?” 

You rolled your eyes, trying desperately to keep in a laugh. “You don’t think it’s a bit unfair? You’re paid buckets of money to balance on knife shoes and the last time I went ice skating was,” you tried to remember, “two years ago? Three?” 

Tito shrugged, taking your hand as you walked out the door of the parking lot. “What’s life without a little risk?” Whether the Harry Potter quote was intentional or not, you weren’t sure. 

“Fair,” you conceded. “You’ll have to look out for me, though.” He promised he would, handing his card over to the cashier, who in turn passed you your skates. Anthony led you over to a bench, grabbing a bag of roasted chestnuts from a street vendor before sitting down. You ate a few before tying your skates, swinging one up on his thigh for inspection. “Do these past muster, inspector?”

Anthony took one look at them before undoing your knot, adjusting your foot in his lap while rolling his eyes good-naturedly. “You didn’t tie them tight enough, you could break an ankle in these, babe, and we wouldn’t want that, would we?” You shook your head; he pulled you up to a standing position, leading you over to the gate to get onto the ice. “Don’t feel bad if you’ve got to hang onto the side for a little bit, it doesn’t look like the zamboni’s been over it in awhile so the ice is probably pretty chippy.”

Now it was your turn to roll your eyes. “I’m not completely hopeless, Anthony. I’m no professional,” you half-slipped while taking your first step onto the ice, clinging to the railing, “clearly, but I’m an adult and I can handle myself.” 

He held his hands up in surrender, gliding backwards on the ice before stopping. “I know you can.” The two of you skated for about an hour before taking a break, sipping cups of piping hot apple cider while sitting on a bench off to the side of the rink. “There’s always that one person who feels the need to go in the center and show off, huh?” Tito mused, glancing towards center ice, where a woman was indeed in the middle of a spin so quick and intricate you had no clue how she didn’t throw up from the sheer centrifugal force of it all. 

“Says the professional hockey player,” you quipped. 

“I’d go insane if I tried to do anything like that,” Anthony responded, drinking the last of his cider before dropping the cup into the recycling bin. “Just about the only thing hockey players and figure skaters have in common is our ability to skate in a straight line.”

You laughed, squeezing his arm. “Have a little more faith in yourself than that, Anthony.” 

“Mhm,” he said, noncommittally like he didn’t quite believe you. “You ready to get going, or do you think you’ve got more in you?” 

You looked down at your watch; it was 9:30; the rink didn’t close for another hour and plenty of people were still milling about. “I think I’ve got a little gas left in the tank.” 

Sounds good,” he said, taking your hand and doing an extremely admirable job of not laughing at your attempts to hobble over to the ice on your skates. “One of these days I’m going to get you to go backwards,” he said as he stepped on, gliding back easily before coming to a quick stop. 

“I’ve just stopped having to hold onto your hands like a five-year-old, Beau,” you said, rolling your eyes as you took a moment to find your balance on the slippery ice. In your defense, he had been right about the lack of resurfacing on the ice; the skate attendant said the zamboni only came around once a day, shortly before opening, and the lack of smooth ice couldn’t have done you any favors. But you were determined to prove yourself, to show him and everyone else in Rockefeller Center that you were a fully grown and capable adult who could skate for a few feet without needing assistance. Which you did, for approximately two minutes, trailing ten or fifteen feet behind Anthony as he skated backwards, executing poorly-attempted jumps and spins for no reason other than your amusement. You were doing fine, until the toe pick of your skate caught in a chip in the ice and you tumbled down, down to the ice before Anthony could skate over and catch you,. Down, trying to break your fall with your hands. Pain radiated up your left wrist, the cold of the ice already beginning to melt into your jeans. 

“Oh my God,” Anthony said, kneeling in front of you as several passers-by looked over in concern. “You okay? That looked like a pretty bad fall.” 

You nodded, trying to push yourself up to a standing position, but the second you put pressure on your hand, you let out a sharp shriek. “Fuck,” you said, moving to rub your wrist. Not a good idea; the pain only got worse when you touched it. 

His brow only furrowed more. “If you put your wrist out to break the fall, you could have broken it or something. We should go to the hospital.”

You shook your head. “I’m sure it’s nothing, Tito,” you said as the two of you skated off the ice, your wrist hanging limply by your side as you bent down to try and untie the skate laces. He looked up at your face, seeing you biting your lip with tears pricking at the corner of your eyes as you tried to pull them. 

“Hurts to pull?” You knew it was no use trying to lie to him, so you nodded. He pushed the sleeve of your jacket up as gently as he could after untying your skates, handling your hand and wrist with as little pressure as he could. “Not exactly how I thought I’d be kneeling in front of you,” he said, the corner of his mouth twitching. You knew he had only said it to distract you, try to get your mind off of the inordinate amounts of pain you were in, but the words still made your heart skip a beat. His fingers moved feather-light over your skin, keeping an eye on your facial expressions as he felt. “Hurts to close your hand?” You tried; you nodded. “Hurts to turn your wrist?” A second nod. “Has it gotten worse or better since you fell?”

“Worse,” you managed to squeak out. 

He bit his tongue in concentration. “Shit. Yeah, we should go to the hospital.” You knew it was no use to argue, even as you weakly kept telling him it was probably just a sprain that would heal on its own as he herded you into the car, looking up the waiting times of Manhattan emergency rooms. “The ER wait at Lenox Hill is twenty minutes, it’s like two miles away,” he said, puting the car into reverse and backing out of the parking lot. Of course, two miles in New York City on Christmas Eve really meant fifteen minutes, and by the time he parked at the hospital and you were walking into the ER, it was just past 11. And of course, an ER wait time of “twenty minutes” the day before Christmas meant that, as a relatively low-priority case, you weren’t seen for well over forty. “I feel terrible about this,” Anthony said, slumping back in the chair to the side as you sat on the exam table. 

“Not your fault,” you said emphatically. “Could have happened to anyone. Literally anyone, Tito,” you looked over at him; he still looked guilty. “It could have just as easily been you, if you’d hit the chip at the wrong angle or there was some kind of slippery patch you weren’t expecting. And,” you added as he opened his mouth, “you were too far away to catch me.” Your expression softened. “I know you would have if you could have, but I’m sure it’s not hurt too bad and I don’t want you to keep beating yourself up over it. I’ll be okay.” 

The nurse practitioner chose that moment to poke her head through the curtain, calling your name. You nodded. She flipped open your chart. “I’m Emily, I’ll be taking care of you tonight. It says here you’ve got a wrist injury?” You nodded, explaining what had happened. She pulled a pair of gloves on, fingers moving over your wrist. “With what I’m seeing and how you’re rating your pain, I think we’re probably looking at a bad sprain or a break, but we’ll have to get an X-ray to confirm.” Fifteen minutes later, you were in and out of the radiology suite, and Emily was looking at the images on a tablet. She leaned over the table, pointing to the images on the screen. “Okay, so what you’ve got is called a Colles’ fracture, it’s a break in the radius and they’re actually super common, by far the most common type of wrist break we see. Yours isn’t too bad, so I’d say it can come off in six weeks or so.” She left for a minute to get the casting supplies. Ten minutes later, your entire lower arm was covered in cotton and fiberglass wrap tape. You wiggled your fingers towards your boyfriend. “I think purple’s really my color, don’t you?” you said, nodding towards your cast. 

You saw him crack a smile, his first since the accident. “It’s beautiful, babe.” Fifteen minutes and more than your fair share of paperwork later, you had handed over your insurance information and gotten the okay to leave, with strict instructions to keep the cast dry and call if you had any problems. 

“I think this definitely wins as the most interesting date I’ve ever been on,” you said as the two of you crossed the parking lot. 

“I’ll have you agree with you on that one,” Anthony replied. “I’m glad it wasn’t anything more serious, though. I would have felt even worse.”

You nodded. “You and me both.” Anthony looked down at his watch as he held your good hand, smiling when he saw the time. “What is it?” you asked curiously. 

“Guess there was too much going on in there to keep track of time. It’s 1:37 AM.” 

The painkillers they had given you had kept the pain in your wrist to a dull ache, but all was forgotten as you realized what it meant, what it being past midnight meant, and you couldn’t stop a grin from spreading across your face. “It’s Christmas?” you said, almost like a question. Nothing could extinguish your love for the holiday: not the freezing cold air nipping at your nose or the apple cider that was so hot it burnt your tongue or the fact that you went out for a night with your boyfriend and came back with a broken wrist. You had him, and that was enough. 

Tito laughed, leaning down to press a soft kiss against your lips as he unlocked the car. “Merry Christmas, baby.”

[girls-love-girls1200]

67. Lisa x Reader

*The Job of a lifetime*

2000+ words

Warnings: cursing

When you had first shared your plan to move to the capital with your mother, for some reason the first words that left her mouth were: “Spring days in Seoul are the most enjoyable period of the year, when the cherry trees blossom and the air is crisp.” Her eyes melting into small crescent moons, a kind smile illuminating her soft features, she knew it meant that from that moment on she would find herself alone in your once always loud and full childhood home, but she didn’t mind, in fact she was proud, the youngest of three leaving the nest just after graduation. Ever since you were a toddler your mom had done everything possible to make sure you and your two brothers could live a life that made you happy, money and success had never meant much to any of you, it was always about doing something you loved. That’s why your mom had spent fifteen years of her life picking you up from dance class in her rusty old green beetle from Monday to Friday, attending every recital, sewing your clothes together, applying cream to your bruised legs. She knew that’s how you wanted to live, always on your tiptoes, sometimes on your knees, often on your backside, and so she supported you.

Now her kind words were replaying in your head on a loop, your heartbeat ringing in your ears echoed by your feet hitting the concrete at full speed. You struggled to find a reason as to way karma was battering you so hard, on the morning of probably the most important day of your life so far, not only had you poured spoiled milk onto your cereal, you had also been left stranded by your bus because of a punctured tire. You hated running, you truly believed there was a specific ring in hell for those who enjoyed the satanic activity of jogging, yet on this day you were running like no woman had ever run before. By some divine miracle you had managed to push through to the final interview round for a position as first dance assistant to one of the most renowned choreographers in the country, hundreds of extremely talented dancers had applied for the sought after position, today only twelve were left, eleven if you didn’t make it before the doors to the dance studio closed. By a stroke of luck you reached those doors as attendance was being called, bowing as you entered the room you zoomed pass the examiners, swiftly joining the eleven other girls, their gazes on you like starving vultures, you tried to control your breathing as you sat down on the last free plastic chair, in the corner where the huge dance mirror met the wall, you held your tattered dance bag to your chest, trying to regain your composure.

You dared to lift your eyes from the ground only as your name was called, a crystal clear voice cutting through the tense atmosphere, raising your hand you tried to muster up some confidence, failing as soon as your eyes met the ones of the owner of said voice. Lisa Manoban, in a simple white crop top and high wasted jeans her lean figure seemed to glow, a strict expression plastered on her stoic face, she scanned you from head to toe, you thought you heard her kiss her teeth at you as she sighed, “Give me one reason not to kick you out this second for arriving late.”

Tilting your head slightly you bit back a smile, Lisa’s eyebrows lifting in surprise,

“You haven’t seen me dance.”

A sharp gasp came from one of the girls sitting next to you, Lisa’s lips pressing in a thin line, eyes piercing through you, she gave you a quick nod, sitting down herself on the wooden floor,

“You’re going last Y/SN.”

You couldn’t hide the small smile that appeared on your face as you heard your surname coming from her mouth, and unknowingly to you, it had also caught someone else’s attention. Being last was never fun, your nerves rising as you carefully observed every girl stand in the middle of the room, performing a freestyle dance to a song of Lisa’s choice, you could read the anxiety in their eyes as the most complicated tunes poured out of the speakers, unrecognizable beats filling the space, Lisa’s eyes wouldn’t leave their body for one millisecond, her dark pupils following every single movement, as if she was looking for something very specific. Once the girl finished, she would be sent back to her place with a court nod, not a word coming from the stone-cold figure of Lisa Manoban.

It didn’t seem to go any differently as you stepped up to the small white X taped onto the floor, your fingers trembling as they played with the laces hanging from your sides, your mom had helped you pick out the outfit last night via video call, her encouraging words coming back to your mind, you took a few steady breaths as the older woman in front of you pressed play on her phone, you closed your eyes as the melodic notes typical of south Asian music filled your ears, your feet seemed to move even before your mind told them to, letting your nervousness fall off your body in fluid movements you focused on the strange melody that seemed to run through your veins, your focused gaze falling on Lisa after every twirl, you felt your body as light as a feather as you made the small space around you your own, ending your moves inches away from Lisa and her team. As the music came to halt you found yourself on the ground, slightly out of breath, your fingers hanging delicately from your collarbones, you smiled widely, bowing twice before making your way back to your seat, aware of a pair of eyes glued to your figure.

A woman in her late fifties took you quite by surprise as she invited all of you to wait outside, the selected candidate would be informed straight away. You all made your way out, a few girls breaking down in tears as soon as the door was shut behind you, others calling their parents, you made your way to the water dispenser just at the end of the corridor, pouring yourself a cup, you couldn’t help but chew on your lower lip, your nerves slowly coming back, the cool water alleviating your stress ever so slightly, you hadn’t even finished the cup when a tall figure appeared next to you, patting you on the back, Lisa didn’t even stop as she made her way out of the building, her words making you lose your grasp on the half empty cup of water that slipped through your fingers,

“See you on Monday in my studio, 9 am sharp Y/n, you’re late, you’re fired.”

Your name was echoed by the same woman who had asked you to leave the room, her gaze falling on you as also did that of eleven girls who had just missed out on the opportunity of a lifetime.

Monday morning you opened the doors to your dream job precisely at half past eight, wanting to avoid at all costs any sort of tardiness, you knew you had a lot to make up for, you greeted the two young girls at the reception desk with a big smile, you introduced yourself briefly, which seemed to take them by surprise before making your way to the fourth floor, a welcome email had described pretty well what your job entailed, where you had to go and the hours you were required to put in, passing by your boss’s office you were quite surprised to see it empty, as you knew classes didn’t start until half nine. Curiosity got the best of you as you started exploring the various studios and classes on the floor, all of them more modern than any dance studio you had ever practiced in, that was to be expected knowing how much these kids payed to enter the dance academy. As you walked along the empty corridor the faintest of sound reached your ears, following it once again driven by sheer curiosity you opened another door onto the biggest practice room you had seen yet, in the middle of it a slim figure sat on the ground, long legs sprawled out in front of her, enveloped in a pair of black cargo pants, you could tell she was out of breath by the way her back raised at a fast pace, head hanging low, a cascade of raven hair falling along her shoulders.

“Doesn’t tying your hair up sound like a good idea while practicing?”

The older girl didn’t even flinch at the sound of your voice, her head moving slightly to peek at her watch, not even sparing a quick glance in your direction,

“You’re early, I wasn’t expecting that.”

Shuffling in front of her you held your hand out, your eyes searching for hers, she finally looked up at you, the faintest of smiles on her face as she grabbed onto your hand, your palm almost tingling at the feeling of her warm skin against your own.

“I’m full of surprises miss Manoban.”

Struggling to keep up with her fast pace, you followed her all the way to her office, your gaze following her every movement as she sat down gracefully, wiping her slightly damp face with a small white cloth, she pulled out a lipstick from one of her drawers, reapplying it carefully, she smacked her lips twice before leaning back into her chair, her intense gaze scrutinizing your still standing figure from head to toe.

“You know Y/N, you’re the first ever dancing assistant in the history of the academy not to actually have graduated from here, some people aren’t very pleased with that, so I hope you will prove yourself.”

Taken aback by the sudden statement you smiled at the teacher, almost feeling sorry for her, you could see the hardships she had gone through just by looking into her chocolate eyes,

“You see miss, I have nothing to prove, I am not here to prove myself, I’m here to work hard, and earn your respect, but let me get this straight, I don’t have to show to anyone that I deserve to be here, because I could tell, that those eleven girls at the interview last week had no idea what having to build yourself up from zero means. If people actually got into the academy because of talent and perseverance, then rest assured that I would have been top of the class, but since one can enter only because of money, background and privilege, I have had to find other ways to learn.”

Lisa’s eyes widened at your words, her mouth opening slightly before she shook her head, keeping her opinion to herself she got on her feet, her hands resting on her hips, her whole aura expressing pure confidence,

“That’s why I chose you Y/n, I think you and I will get on great.”

Sauntering towards you her arms crossed in front of her chest, she stopped just mere inches away from your face, the smallest of smiles painted on her kind features, her long fingers delicately moving a strand of your hair behind your ear, your cheeks burning at the closeness,

“And you can call me Lisa.”

Working with Lisa proved itself harder than you had first imagined, although the job itself was physically demanding it was Lisa’s attitude that seemed to tire you out the most, the girl was the most hot and cold person you had ever met. She could go from messing around with you in her office for an entire hour to becoming an impenetrable fortress during her lessons, never allowing herself to smile in front of the younger students, her stone cold face and harsh criticism making it very easy for them to dislike her.

It’s because of that exact reason you found yourself staying in the almost empty studio with a handful of kids after midnight, not feeling comfortable enough to ask Lisa for help they would come to you, knowing the older woman would only accept perfection, some of the kids needed an extra hand, a friendly smile and some encouraging words to achieve that. The late hours unfortunately started to take a toll, your mom had been the first to point it out, she had come to visit you one weekend and immediately noticed how your cheeks seemed more hollow than the last time she saw you and you were dragging your feet more than you used to, laughing it off you blamed it on the city’s food, because nobody could ever cook like your mother, of course she hadn’t bought it, but you had managed to send her back home before she got too inquisitive on the matter.

The second person to notice your exhaustion was none other than your boss. Lisa had come to pay a lot of attention to you in the last couple of months, more than she would ever like to admit, she had noticed how your feet suddenly didn’t seem as light as they were a couple of weeks prior, your twirls weren’t as precise, and your smile not as bright as the first time she saw you dance. The situation unfortunately escalated one morning in the middle of august, the city heat had rendered life quite unbearable, and the fatigue that rattled your bones felt heavier than ever before. Lisa had asked you to help her come up with a new routine for one of her advanced classes, and so you found yourself spinning around the studio at seven in the morning, Lisa’s eyes trained on your figure, she was about to tell you to slow down when she noticed your moves get sloppier, your legs shaking, your vision started going blurry and just before your legs gave out underneath you, strong arms wrapped around your waist, her sweet scent overpowering your confused senses as she slowly pulled you to the ground with her. Lisa tried her best not to go into panic mode as she held your limp body in her arms, she rested your back against her chest, one of her hands stroked your soft hair gently as her other passed you a bottle of water.

“It’s okay Y/N just drink some water, don’t try to get up yet.”

As your vision got clearer, so did your mind, and soon enough you were very aware of Lisa’s heart beating against your back, her fingers shaking ever so lightly as she caressed you.

“I’m sorry… I didn’t mean to scare you.”

Your soft voice made Lisa’s insides tingle, resting her forehead against your shoulder a sudden wave of emotions seemed to crash onto her, all she could think about, all she could hear, see and feel was you, her lips millimetres away from your bare shoulder blades. Overwhelmed, she got up on her feet, ignoring your lost gaze trailing after her,

“Damn Y/N you need to look after yourself, I can’t always be on the look out for you, making sure you don’t pass out during my lessons. Just imagine the shit show if you were to leave me to do these classes on my own.”

She hated herself for the venom that spewed out of her mouth sometimes, she didn’t quite know why her mind seemed to find the worst way possible to deal with her emotions, it was usually bratty teens that would face the rear end of her bitterness and that didn’t affect her as much, but in that moment, as you struggled to lift yourself off the floor, tears brimming in the corner of your sweet eyes, Lisa absolutely loathed herself.

“If you weren’t so busy being an ice-cold bitch and actually let your students be students I wouldn’t have to spend every fucking night working extra hours to make up for your lack of professionality.”

Your words bounced off the mirrors of the practice room, Lisa froze in shock at your revelation as you stormed out of the studio, regretting your harsh words as soon as you had said them, you told the girls at reception that you would be taking a couple of days off due to personal reasons. Once at home you gathered your thoughts, realizing the only reason Lisa’s words had gotten to you was because you really, really liked her, you loved being by her side every day, spending your lunch breaks together in her office, dancing so close to her that your bodies almost became one. You had fallen, pretty hard, and by the way she had spoken to you earlier, you figured it was a one-sided kind of thing, and that hurt pretty bad.

You spent the entire day doing absolutely nothing, you wanted to rest but your thoughts were racing at a hundred miles per hour, it was late at night when you actually managed to settle down, wearing your favourite sweatpants and a sports bra you hacked away at a tub of vanilla ice cream, watching some random nature documentary on Netflix. The insistent ringing of your doorbell interrupted your much needed chill time, and unwillingly you trudged to the front door, your face turning pale as the person who had occupied your mind for the entire day stood in front of you, her usual Jansport bag hanging from her shoulder, black bangs sticking to her forehead due to the heat outside, her chocolate eyes staring apologetically out you.

You tried to shut the door immediately, trying your hardest to avoid the imminent confrontation, but Lisa jammed her foot inside, a small yelp escaping her as the door trapped her leg. Swinging it back open immediately to check if she was alright, Lisa took advantage of your moment of weakness and stormed in, trapping you between the wall and herself, her eyes staring directly into your own.

“Let me apologize please.”

The fast rise and fall of her chest gave away the fact that she was just as nervous as you were, her pearly white teeth sunk into her lower lip, your pupils following her every move, Lisa took a big breath, trying to steady her nerves,

“I’m sorry, the kids explained to me what has been going on, and I’m truly sorry, you were right, I was being unprofessional.”

Her sincere gaze suddenly became hard for you to hold, your head lowering as her face inched closer,

“But there’s a reason for that Y/N.”

Her fingers shook ever so slightly as they caressed your face, reaching your chin she tilted your head, her lips so close to yours you could feel her warmth breath,

“I like you like crazy.”

You couldn’t stop yourself even if you wanted to, closing the gap between your two faces, your lips enveloping Lisa’s soft ones, fingers tangling in her silky waves, you sighed into the kiss, eliciting a small hum of appreciation from the taller girl, whose arms wrapped around your waist tightly, her cold fingers grazing the small of your back. You pulled away from her just when breathing became an issue, your lips tingling. Lisa’s fingers desperately searching for yours, bringing them to her lips and placing the softest kisses on each of your knuckles, a huge smile spread on your face, your cheeks almost hurting.

“I think I might like you too.”

[alittlebitgoofy]

the only proof i need is you (taywhora)

it is finally done, i've been wokring on this since the ukd tour started but we don't need to talk about that, it's kind of a sequel to my older canon compliant fics but can be read sepereatly. love my dear mina for always betaing shit I send them, an actual icon

title from proof by Paramore bc that song got stuck in my head as I was tryna get a title, enjoy :)) ao3 link

Tayce relished in the energy she got from this, after so long away from gigs the euphoria wasn’t lost on her. They were lucky, finally able to experience the dizzying highs of such public notoriety.

The heat didn’t help things— of course, they’d get stuck in a heatwave during a cross country tour. The amount of sweat, makeup running by the end of the show, outfits sticking in places they shouldn’t. It was a nightmare, but she wouldn’t trade it for anything

Her attention was pulled back to reality by the laughter of her friends, using silly Instagram filters on each other to amuse them. They stumbled towards her in a flurry of giggles, knocking into her arms and almost sending her falling over into the crowd. A’whora raised her phone to Tayce, erupting into laughter at the way the screen contorted her face into something unrecognisable.

---

“Are you done with those?” Tayce asked, gesturing to A’whora’s fries while his attention was laser focused on his phone.

Before he could answer, Tayce plucked a chip anyway, putting it in his mouth much to A’whora’s chagrin. He huffed, eyes narrowing at such an act of treason.

“You hound!” He swatted at Tayce’s arm as he reached for another. “What happened to yours?”

Tayce lent in further, smiling fiendishly and chewing obnoxiously loud. “Ate them, like, ten minutes ago. You’ve been staring at your phone for the past hour and they’re gonna go cold, missy.”

“I’m eating at my own pace!”

“You eat slower than Lawrence picks up choreo.” Tayce grinned, his heart warming at the way his friend pouted, arms crossed — he was too cute when he got all riled up.

“Don’t involve me in your lovers' spats!” Lawrence hissed from across the table, laughing at the way Tayce’s eyes narrowed. He knew Lawrence was only having one of those stupid more-than-friends jokes, but any implications of their relationship being anything other than professional made the room seem a little too tense for his liking.

“She’s right, you two argue like an old married couple.” Bimini chimed in, resting their head on their hands like this was an everyday event.

“This isn’t an argument, a crime has been committed and you two are bystanders letting such an act go unpunished!”

“It’s a fucking chip.”

A’whora glared at Lawrence for such a comment. It was his chip. Tayce had his own, he could deal with himself. He had a bad habit of eating things that weren’t his and flirting his way out of any repercussions. He’d buy A’whora more of something most of the time but the annoyance was justified after a year of having his food stolen.

Bimini let out an exasperated laugh, the idiocy of the pair never failing to be both amusing and tiring. They bickered like children sometimes but there was a layer of deep connection under it, two people so strong in their unity that nothing could break them apart.

Except a chip apparently.

They slid their own half eaten pack over, not likely to eat the rest anyway. It would be worth the quiet of Tayce settling down with more food for a little while. They missed the peace of them all being passed out from a long night’s show.

“Tayce, you can have the rest of mine, just leave her alone.”

“Let the whore have her own food, you hound.” Lawrence huffed, Tayce snickering at the moniker. It made him raise an eyebrow, nodding before turning his attention back to his fries.

It was hilarious seeing him get so riled up but there was a small pang in Tayce’s chest, he genuinely was a bit upset about having his food taken, it was a constant that always riled him up no matter how much Tayce replaced. He slid a few fries over, secretly enjoying the bright smile that took over A’whora’s face, giving a thankful nod.

---

Tayce felt the repetitive movement of the car slowly lull him to sleep, they were all too tired to do much of anything, passing out in the back of the tour bus in full drag, not even the energy to take it off before going to their hotels. A’whora was next to him, head leant against his shoulder. He looked so peaceful, making it hard to believe he’d been performing in the horrid heatwave an hour ago.

Bimini was on the other side of them, by the window. They’d curled in on themself, contorted in a way that couldn’t have been comfortable. She’d have to laugh when they complained of back pain the next morning. Lawrence was beside them, stretched across the seat between him and bimini. It was strange to see everyone so low energy, though Tayce himself felt it. So many shows in such quick succession, his body wasn’t ready no matter how much preparation went into it.

A bump in the road jolted him back to attention, though the rest of them were long gone from consciousness. At least he thought. His attention turned back to A’whora, taking in all of his features without the prying eyes of anyone. Something about the sight of him, head reclined on Tayce’s shoulder looking like it was the most comfortable thing in the world, it made his heart warm.

Those feelings still went unsaid, he wasn’t ready for a lot of things, A’whora knew that. He knew with time he would open up, it just took patience and love.

---

Tayce’s energy was electric, his constant bouncing and talking leaving the others in the tour bus in a similar state.

Long drives were boring, he had to make it more interesting somehow. A’whora and Lawrence exchanged a look as Tayce set up an Instagram live, mentally preparing for the chaos that would surely follow.

Lawrence was half amused and half mortified at the act that followed, A’whora cheekily shaking her ass on the camera, much to the amusement of the viewers, Tayce slapping it as if it was no big deal. He’d probably come to regret that later but the moment buzzed with the excitement for their next show, the tour in general, and the euphoria of touring with some of his best friends.

The rowdy energy kept up for the rest of the day, Tayce rarely lost his buzz as A’whora had come to learn, it was a blessing until it was late and she was ready to go out when all he could do was pass out in the hotel room.

They had to share this time due to availability, acting like it was a minor inconvenience when it was all they wanted now, to feel the comfort of someone going through the same grueling thing as you, waking up next to Tayce was euphoric. Something about him took the best, happiest feelings out of A’whora and left him a gooey mess of love and laughs.

Though Lawrence was catching on, or so Tayce claimed he thought, confiding in A’whora knowing even he could keep this secret. He knew better than to say something like that, Tayce’s vulnerability was difficult to keep, any sign of trouble and he’d close right back up for a long time to come.

“Oh, there are the lovers.” He boldly prodded the pair, erupting into a laugh as Tayce scowled. The atmosphere was too tense for 9 am, the previous night out leaving him in a precarious state of trying to balance a normal act and a vicious headache that only a kiss from A’whora had managed to vanquish.

“Well what crawled up your ass and died?” He followed up, Tayce’s glare frosting over in a way that truly worried A’whora. He was not happy and he didn’t want to sit in a car all day full of tension. Where was Bimini in this mess?

“It’s too early for this shit, settle down.”

His voice seemed to reason more with Tayce as he got into the car, quickly pulling a’whora beside him. Bimini came out a while later, apologising for the wait. None of them ever seemed to be on time, it was almost as if they took it in turns this tour.

Their presence brought some much needed peace as Tayce started perking up through the journey, still oddly quiet but much better than wanting to bite Lawrence’s head off this morning.

---

“A’whora! God, hurry up!” A shout came from Bimini as they prodded her to change faster. Damn costumes, never easy to get off in a hurry.

Tayce watched it with muffled laughter, the misfortune not enough to need intervention but much too amusing to leave alone.

Lawrence shared in her amusement, though had no problem commenting on her time wasting.

“I thought I was the slow one, the whore’s got us all beat.” She commented, the room erupting in laughter much to A’whora’s annoyance.

“Stupid fucking outfit! Tayce?” The complaint was followed by a pleading whine, her eyes starting to tear up with sheer frustration.

Tayce obliged, walking over and unzipping the outfit to let A’whora out, grabbing her new one and sliding it up her body, slowly as to allow her to get in without rushing.

A’whora felt herself almost quiver, the feeling of Tayce’s hands running down her back taking her back to—

Nope. She couldn’t do this, not during a show. Keeping this secret would eat her alive by the time they got finished with this tour but she could enjoy the little moments they had, as inconspicuous as possible.

“Talk about sexual tension.”

“Oh fuck off Lawrence.” Tayce shot back. Before any more words could be exchanged they were rushed back on stage for a group number.

Thank god for Tayce.

—-

Tayce let himself fall onto the bed with a loud groan. It was incredible being able to perform for huge crowds and meet their fans but this was a new kind of exhaustion. He felt the need to hibernate for the next week. Beside him, A’whora flopped down, a similar sigh leaving his lips.

“I can’t wait to get home, I’ve got a face mask and a few packs of percy pigs waiting for me.”

“Is that all you ever think about? You better share, missy.” Tayce teased, a tired grin spreading across his face, elating his boyfriend who rolled over to press a kiss to his cheek.

“Only if you ask politely, or maybe you do something nice for me.” The last part came out in a purr, their faces so close Tayce swore A’whora could feel the heat rising off his face at the insinuation.

It wasn’t like he couldn’t play along, flirting and calling his bluffs. But this was more intimate, the two of them, together. No one else, no need to worry about keeping it down so their roommates wouldn’t find out. It was a flash of a possible future. The pair of them working, joking, and loving together.

It dawned on him then, cuddled together without a care in the world after the most exhausting two weeks of his life. This was what he wanted, he didn’t care what other people thought. Something melted away without him realising, leaving his heart bare and ready for the taking though A’whora always let him set the pace.

“I love you, George.”

He froze. Did he hear that right? Did Tayce just say he loved him? Tayce, the one who could never let himself be vulnerable, much less admit his deepest feelings.

“I love you too.” He choked out, sounding more shocked than he knew possible. Tayce couldn’t help but laugh, he wasn’t expecting it but that reaction was nothing less than adorable. He pulled him into a soft kiss, enjoying their closeness before they both drifted off, hardly ready for the travel and fatigue of tomorrow but safe and cosy in the presence of each other.

He could get used to this.

[excelsi-or]

just a little sweeter (final)

GUYS, we’ve made it to the ennnnnnnnd! What a coincidence that it was 17 parts. I didn’t mean for that to happen lol.

BIPOC rec: I’m currently reading a book called Yes, No, Maybe So. It’s a YA novel written by minorities with minority characters. It’s about two teenagers who go canvassing for their local election in Georgia. It made me realize that maybe I need to start reading more adult fiction because reading about teenagers kinda makes me sad / cringe. But I admire Aisha Saeed and Becky Albertalli for really nailing teenagers on the head. 

w.c. 1.5k (fluuuuuuuuuuuuuffffffff)

pt.1; pt.2; pt.3; pt.4; pt.5; pt.6; pt.7; pt.8; pt. 9; pt. 10; pt. 11; pt. 12; pt. 13; pt. 14; pt. 15; pt. 16

Jihoon finds her at the dinner table reading after he puts Eunha to bed. He stands in the doorway to the kitchen and watches her for a moment before she looks up at him.

“I think we need to talk about what we’re going to do,” she says.

Jihoon takes a seat across from her. She closes her book.

“It is entirely possible that Yeri is going to put your entire life on blast.” She tips her head. “So, what do you want to do?”

Jihoon touches his ear; his eyes are unfocused. “Eunha won’t be a secret anymore.”

“And do you want me here?” she presses.

He seems to tune back in and his brow furrows at her question.

“Do you want to have to deal with a girlfriend scandal as well as a baby scandal?” she asks. “I’ve seen what people say about other idols’ girlfriends. And they don’t have babies.”

His confusion turns to distaste. A frown replaces his confused look. “You looked?”

“A while back,” she admits. “After you told me about Dispatch following you. I looked up other couples that’d been outted or admitted to dating. The things people say are… harsh, to say the least.” She meets his eye. “And we can stop now if it makes what’s coming easier to deal.”

“Wait, what are you saying?”

“This has gotten way beyond what either of us were anticipating, Jihoon. What’s going to be easiest for you and Eunha to cope with? Because she’s here regardless. If I’m not and it makes the rumours and scrutiny easier—”

“That is not even an option anymore,” Jihoon argues. “If you’re putting that on the table as an option, then I don’t tell you I need you or love you enough.”

She blinks in surprise.

“And your expression tells me that I definitely don’t.” Jihoon finds her foot underneath the table and begins playing footsie with her. “I wouldn’t have been able to find Eunha that fast or as calmly as you did today. I don’t think I would have made it this long without losing my mind if you weren’t there to take care of things before I knew I needed them taken care of. I definitely need you more than you need me, and it’s not even just need. I love you. I love what you bring to this home and…” Mochi’s pattering feet run through the apartment to join them. Jihoon picks her up and sets her in his lap. “And my little one would be extra confused if you and this little one disappeared.”

A small smile grows on her face.

“And Seungcheol told me that you told him Eunha feels like yours.” Jihoon ducks his head, embarrassed all of a sudden, at all he’s admitted. “Where else am I going to find something like you?”

She chuckles. “Well, if that’s out of the way, what are we going to do about Yeri?”

“Everything people will say will be awful. And you’re easy to find. So, I think if the story breaks, I’ll ask PLEDIS if they can put security guards at your café for a while.”

“You think it’ll get that bad?”

“I think it could get that bad.”

She pauses. “Do you think they’d make you leave Seventeen?”

Jihoon tilts his head. “It’s something I need to talk about with the company. If it gets really bad and we can’t perform or anything, yeah, maybe.”

She hesitates again and Jihoon is quick to reassure her. “The baby will be bigger news than the fact that I have a girlfriend. It’ll be bad regardless whether we’re together or not.”

She chews her bottom lip. “So, there’s really nothing we can do.”

“Nothing except prepare,” Jihoon agrees.

They sit in silence for a while. Mochi has found a comfortable sleeping position on Jihoon’s lap.

“Maybe you should move in permanently,” Jihoon says now.

She lifts an eyebrow.

“I wouldn’t put it past people—” He sees her skeptical eyebrow and he sighs. “Okay, maybe I just have been wanting to ask you to stay permanently, but I haven’t figured out how.”

She traces patterns on the dining room table and Jihoon senses her hesitation. Seventeen leaves for their tour in two days. The couple have agreed that she’d stay with Eunha for the two weeks the group would be in and out of the country. Jihoon definitely agrees that this relationship sped through his fingertips, but it’s never felt out of control.

“Just think about it,” he says.

She looks up at him, a smile on her face. “Sorry, I guess I should say that I would love to stay.”

“But…?”

“I’ve asked you before, but…” She shakes her head. “Maybe it’s not necessary now. Given what you’ve told me.”

“What’s on your mind?”

“How am I any benefit to you and Eunha?”

Jihoon stares at her in disbelief. “For all the reasons that I told you?”

“But like… anyone could’ve done that.”

“That’s not true, because before you, life did not seem this easy.”

“I’m not really taking care of anyone.”

“Now, you’re delusional.” He stops toying with her foot and reaches for her hand instead. “I understand if my asking you to stay solidifies a lot of this relationship. It’s easy to be with me when you have the option to leave.”

“It’s not that,” she mumbles. “I just… Eunha’s a great kid. I love her, and you, and want the best for both of you. Is that me?”

Suddenly, they hear the bedroom door open and both of them listen to Eunha’s feet pad towards them. Bleary eyed, Eunha reaches for her hand. Without thinking, she meets Eunha at eye level.

“What’s up, kiddo?”

“Story.”

“Daddy just put you to bed,” she chuckles, scooping Eunha up.

“Story.” Eunha rests her head on her shoulder, already falling asleep again.

She looks to Jihoon who has an ‘are you freaking kidding me’ look on his face.

“You can question it all you want, but I think that’s your answer,” Jihoon chuckles.

“I guess… I’m staying then.” Before taking Eunha back to her room, she stops to kiss Jihoon on the forehead. “Movie night?”

“I’ll get the snacks.”

Epilogue

“We’re not doing that.”

Jihoon frowns. “Why not?”

She adjusts Eunha on her hip. The two-and-a-half-year-old has fallen asleep since she and Jihoon are taking too long arguing over furniture. “It’s not going to fit in the space.”

“But where are you going to work?”

“I told you that the dining table is fine.”

“You’re going to make a mess there.”

“Where are we supposed to put another desk?” she demands. “We are not doing that to your space.”

“You live there now,” Jihoon reminds her.

She moved in two weeks ago. They’ve quickly realized that she requires desk space since she is currently working on the floor. They’ve moved the coffee table off to the side so she and Eunha can occupy the spot in front of the TV. The fact that she lives there shouldn’t be such a shock to them, but there were things she did that neither of them realized needed to be accommodated. Like her art and her bookkeeping.

“I know, but you’ve styled it in a way that works for you.”

“Well, now, it needs to work for you too. And I’m telling you, jagi, you need a desk.” His black mask and currently black hair should give off a scarier aura than it does.

“But until we can figure out how to move the space around to accommodate one, we can’t get one.”

“What if we move?”

She laughs. “I just moved in.” They head towards the exit. “So, we’re not doing that either.”

“You’re impossible, you know that?”

She nudges him with her elbow. “I’m honestly fine with working on the floor for now. Until we can figure out what—”

“What if I move all of my stuff to the studio?”

“Huh?”

“Then you can have that desk in the living room.”

“You work from home.”

“When I was taking care of Eunha on my own, yeah. But now I don’t have to do that. If I move all that extra equipment to the studio, then you can have that desk.” Jihoon looks to her. “What about that?”

He’s trying so desperately to make sure she’s comfortable; she can’t help but relent. “If you’re sure you don’t need the space.”

“We’ll start on it as soon as we get home.”

They head outside and Jihoon takes Eunha from her. She rolls her shoulder out and checks to make sure the toddler hadn’t drooled on her. She pecks Jihoon’s cheek. “I’ll see you at home.”

Jihoon smiles a little at hearing her say ‘home’ and having it mean the same thing as him. Then he remembers something. “Oh. Soonyoung wanted you to sit on the dance practice tonight.”

“Right.” She tips her head back, as if mentally creating a to-do list. “Then I’ll see you at the studio.” She checks her watch. “Okay, I think my lunch should be over, right?” She takes a deep breath. Over the past year, the cafés popularity has increased. She’s been able to take on more staff, though she’s struggling to trust that everything will turn out okay without her there.

She gives Jihoon another kiss, pecks the back of Eunha’s head and hurries back to work. “Love you.”

“Love you too. See you in a few hours.”

The amount of love you guys showed this series was insane and some of the comments really made me laugh. Thank you for sticking it out with me. I know it’s not as long or as particularly “exciting” as to the boy i love right now, but I love this one a lot. 

I think I’m going to post some one shots, because I’m trying to find some inspiration with writing again so I’ve been doing a few as writing warm ups. In terms of series to come, would you guys prefer a university, i’m-dating-you-because-of-a-bet trope story OR a thief-partner story? Both will probably be posted one day, but any preference for which one you get first? 

Anyway, thanks again lovely humans. 💛

[cheeriecherry]

Space Between [Aizawa Shouta x F!Reader x Yamada Hizashi] [2/9]

EraserMic x Reader

Part 2/8

Warnings: depictions of PTSD, one (1) mention of vomiting (nothing graphic), very brief mention of violence (also nothing graphic), your friends being concerned about you, hugs

You wake up the next morning with a very sore, very stiff neck. You appreciate your friends putting you up for a while, but between the two of them they had terrible taste in furniture. In fact, you’re pretty certain their couch is the same couch you three shared when you first got your own place together…

You sit up on the lumpy cushions, wincing when your spine crackles. When you move to stand you find that you can’t, held in place by previously unnoticed twin weights on your blanketed legs. Your heart rate speeds up for a moment, before you realize it’s just a pair of cats sleeping on you.

You carefully finagle your way out from under them, taking extra care not to rouse or wake them. One of them chirps and stretches, and you pause, but she quickly falls back to sleep, tucked up against her companion.

Once you’re free, you wander towards the kitchen to find something to eat. Hizashi had offered to order takeout last night, but you were nearly dead on your feet by the time you walked into the house. You’d gone straight to bed, and now you had to deal with the stomach cramps.

You search around in the pantry and fridge for a while, finding few things more than rice, bread, condiments, and a couple canned goods. It made sense, considering how busy your friends were, but it was also a little ridiculous.

“You’d think two grown men could handle some grocery shopping,” you mumble, and settle on some rice, eggs, and toast. Not your ideal breakfast, but it was better than nothing.

You prepare the rice and set a pan on the stove in a haze, still muddled with sleep. Once both are sufficiently rinsed and warming, you set the rice off to cook and plop down at the kitchen table, where you notice a folded paper sitting. With your name on it.

Curious, you flip it open, instantly recognizing Hizashi’s messy writing.

‘Sho and I had to head out early, but we didn’t want to wake you. You were tossing a lot in your sleep.’

You think briefly back to the dreams you’d had, if you’d even had any. You usually had nightmares, but oftentimes you didn’t remember them, only waking with a hollow and sinking feeling in your chest.

‘You’ve got free run of the place, so use and eat what you want. Be warned, there’s not a lot in the fridge…we don’t really eat at home much. If you need the internet, Sho’s laptop is in the office across from the bedroom. See you tonight around ten!

-H’

You smile at the note, the signature consisting of a single letter, with a poor rendition of a cockatiel and a cat beside it.

You’re glad they have each other, you decide, and glad they’ve gotten together. It shouldn’t have been so much of a surprise to you, Hizashi was always more interested in Shouta than he was you. Sure, he doted on you when you were kids, but when Shouta came into the picture his attention shifted. You admit you had been a little jealous in the beginning, but now…

Maybe you’d just supposed it would always be the three of you together. You’d never bothered with dating or relationships, aside from the feelings you harboured for your best friends. You never saw the point, always content and happy to be with the two of them, even if it wasn’t romantic. They had been your rocks, your safe place, in years past.

You hadn’t comprehended that your interests could be so drastically different.

“C’mon, shake it off, stupid. They’re happy together, don’t ruin it with your feelings.” You run your hands down your face, sighing deeply. The rice would be ready soon, so you might as well get started on the eggs.

You butter a piece of bread and cut a hole out of the center, dropping it in the frying pan and cracking an egg into it. 

Egg In A Hole, one of the first things you’d ever learned to cook. You were seven when you’d first tried it, and Hizashi had been there as well. You’d been at your house after school and he’d claimed to be hungry, and you -ever wanting to impress him- had set a stool in front of the stove and made him the fanciest meal you could think of.

Looking back, you’re amazed you didn’t burn or undercook anything. He had claimed it was the most amazing thing he’d ever tasted, and for years it was a staple whenever you hung out… he’d hopped off that train by the time you were twelve, but every so often you’d still made him Eggs In A Hole.

Now it’s more of a comfort, more of you holding on to a time long passed. Things were different now, you were different, your friends were different-

“Shit!” you hiss, as the toast starts to burn in one corner, smoking up the kitchen. You turn the fan on and flip it over to cook the other side, sighing in relief when the egg doesn’t splatter everywhere.

You’re glad you weren’t sent undercover as a cook on your mission. Your skills in the kitchen are sub par at best, and where you’d been, nothing less than perfection was accepted. Anything burnt or under-seasoned would have been air for punishment; fingernails ripped off, palms cut up, thumbs broken. Anything that would further hinder work…and result in more punishment.

That was just the kind of person your target was. A rich american woman with a taste for torture, and a quirk that allowed her to feast on and destroy the hope in others. She had ‘hired’ you as a silent killer, despite the fact that she could easily kill people herself…or make them kill themselves.

You squeeze your eyes shut and take a deep breath, willing the thoughts away. You weren’t there anymore. You were here, with Hizashi, with Shouta. Safe. Safe.

You scoop the eggs and toast onto a plate, but your stomach has already turned. Memories didn’t pair well with breakfast, it seemed.

Once the rice is finished cooking, you wrap everything up and set it in the fridge for later, and continue going about your day.

—-

Ten PM rolls around before you know it, and your friends walk through the front door. You’ve stolen Shouta’s laptop from the office and moved it to the couch, where you now sit staring intensely at the screen.

The two of them watch you for a moment. If your stillness, posture, and bloodshot eyes are anything to go by, you’ve been like that for a while.

“You’re gonna hurt your back sitting like that,” Shouta says, kicking his boots off and wandering further into the house.

“In a second,” you reply, waving him off.

Hizashi sighs dramatically, crossing his arms. “She’s not even paying attention, Sho. We could be making out right now, and she wouldn’t even notice. Hey, watch this-”

“Hizashi,” you threaten, not looking away from the screen, “if you pull your pants down, I’ll shave your head while you sleep.”

“No fun.” But he removes his hands from his jeans anyways.

Shouta meanders up behind you, leaning over the back of the couch to see what you’re so intent on. “What’s got you so focused?” he asks, scanning the page you’re reading, “You were never like this in school.”

You remain stoic, missing the joke completely. “Conviction trials,” you explain, “I want to make sure every single one of those rich pricks I outed gets put behind bars. I’ve been scrounging news outlets since five.”

“And?”

“Nothing.” You sit up straighter, stretching your back and rubbing at your eyes. “I gave the commission enough information to put these people in prison for life! Why haven’t they been brought in yet!”

“You’ve only been out for a little while. These things take time.” His tone is gentle and concerned, but to your addled brain it feels more patronizing.

You fist your hair in your hands and tug. “I gave them hideouts, names, faces, addresses, bank numbers, concrete evidence against these people! A few days should be enough time to find them! They’re top priority criminals! They should be caught by now!”

A warm hand rests on your shoulder, jarring you violently out of your thoughts. You tense beneath the touch, electricity prickling down your arm, and you look up at him with wide eyes.

“Breathe,” he says.

You breathe.

He squeezes your shoulder slightly, comfortingly. “It’ll happen. Give the media time to catch up.”

You look away from him, finding a spot on the floor to stare at, and slump forward in defeat. “If it gets out that I was the snitch, too…”

The room is quiet for a couple beats as your words register, and the hand on your shoulder rubs soft circles into your skin. “Your partner…they were killed, weren’t they.” It’s not a question, merely an observation.

You nod.

“I can’t let them find me, Shouta. The way these people kill their targets-”

“You’re safe here, Y/N. Always. The chances of these criminals getting into the country undetected is between slim and none. Their faces will be plastered on every single no-fly list, every district wanted list.”

“They can do whatever they want, as long as they have the money.” You turn back to the laptop, continuing to scroll around various news outlets. “Even once they’re in prison, they’ll have outside connections. If they find out it was me who outed their whole operation, I’ll have a target on my back for the rest of my life.”

Shouta lets go of your shoulder, and walks around the couch to take a seat beside you, knees bumping against yours.

“There are…resources,” he begins, choosing his words carefully, “for heroes who’ve been undercover. To help them readjust to everyday life-”

“I don’t need a therapist,” you hiss, scowling. “I need…I need-”

A pair of hands scoops the laptop out of your grip, flipping it closed and setting it aside. But before you can complain, your now-warmed-up plate of food from that morning is set in your lap, and Hizashi takes a seat on your other side.

“If you don’t want a therapist, then at least take care of yourself, okay? Eat.”

Your scowl persists as you chew.

—-

You jolt awake on the couch at an unbeknownst hour of the morning, covered head to toe in a thin sheen of sweat. Your head is spinning and your ears are ringing, and you barely make it to the bathroom before you’re dry heaving into the sink. Nothing comes up, save for bitter bile, but you’re exhausted once the short wave of nausea passes.

You rinse your mouth and the sink out, and splash some water on your face. With any luck, you won’t have woken anyone, but when you exit the bathroom you nearly walk face first into Shouta, who’s leaning beside the door.

“It sounded like you were getting sick.” His tone isn’t accusing, but his posture puts your guard up.

“Nothing came out, so it’s fine.”

You wander back to the living room, hoping to leave the conversation, but he only follows.

“Why were you getting sick in the first place?”

“I dunno,” you grumble tensely, “adrenaline reaction maybe? Who’s to say why people puke.”

He’s quiet for several moments, observing you, your fidgeting, your agitation. You feel like you’re under a microscope, with the way he’s looking at you.

“What happened to you out there?” he asks.

“Stuff,” you mutter.

I got people killed.

“Stuff that gives you nightmares every time you sleep?”

“I don’t need a therapist.”

I don’t deserve to come back from this.

“Your sleep-yelling woke me up. You’re lucky Hizashi wears earplugs.”

You turn away from him and grab your water bottle off the coffee table, plopping grumpily onto the couch. Shouta hesitates for a moment before finding a seat beside you again. Warmth radiates off his body, which is pressed comfortingly against your side. You can feel the tension easing out of your shoulders in his presence.

“What’s so bad about therapists, anyways?” he asks, genuinely curious. “Lots of people need them. Hizashi and I have both seen a couple over the years.”

“I don’t need someone to tell me there’s something wrong with me.”

Shouta sighs. “That’s not what they do, and you know it. What’s the real reason?”

You silently curse his ability to read you like a book, to always somehow know when you’re lying. But…you’re not sure you could tell him the truth.

“I just…don’t like the idea, okay? Leave it at that.”

He watches you silently, searching in your averted gaze for any willingness to open up, but he finds only sadness…and shame. “I should head back to bed, then. Early morning, and whatnot. Try and get some more sleep.”

He rises off the couch, and without thinking you follow suit, and quickly envelope him in a hug.

“I’m sorry,” you sniffle, burying your face in his chest. He’s surprised for a moment, but is quick to wrap his arms around you, holding you tight while you tremble against him. 

He pats small circles into you back, keeping you close until your breathing begins to even out. “Just…don’t let this go on for too long, okay?” It’s the closest you’ve ever heard him to begging, “I don’t know what happened to you out there, but you’re obviously suffering.”

You pull away slightly, tired and defeated, and nod. “I’ll look into it. Those resources you mentioned. Okay?”

You release each other fully, and he gives you one last pat to the head.

“Okay. Now, really, try and get some more sleep.”

[sohoharlem]

[I included the blinds in this one if you want to post this one instead.]


I’d just like to add as a side note that before this, in early 2020, Sebastian had become more active again for the first time since around 2018, after drama went down with his ex. It had appeared that he was making a turn around for the fandom and becoming himself again, or at least attempting to.


Late March - June of 2020 


TFATWS stops filming. Sebastian starts looking rough through quarantine. 


March 25th he does a podcast with Don Saladino where he critiques people who travel during the pandemic, calling them dumb fucks and that it pisses him off.


April 29th Seb does solo pap walk with latex gloves.


May 3rd Seb does solo pap walk with mask and latex gloves, he even waterfalls his water bottle.


May 13 he posts a picture of NYC saying “Happy Days will come again” and puts a praying emoji.


May 15th he posts beautiful pictures he took of his city NYC during the pandemic and tags it “I love New York. We’ll be back.” (talking about pandemic being over.)


He appears in his friend’s Aaron’s video wearing a mask and looking at people without a mask and looking disappointed in them for not wearing one.
He does a few other interviews, including one with Variety, where he talks passionately about thanking healthcare workers and how he claps everyday at 7PM out his window to thank them.

 
It is evident he takes the quarantine and COVID very seriously.


Mid-Late May


He starts looking rough and it becomes evident to his fans that the quarantine is not doing him well. 


After his May 15th posts he stops posting.


May 22nd 2020 Sebastian Stan is signed with CAA.


*where things get weird*


Fans start wondering if he is doing okay and begin to grow concerned, especially after his most recent story showing him singing that he can’t wait for this year to end.
 

He is MIA during the George Floyd and BLM movement and fans begin leaving comments on his instagram interrogating him for not speaking about BLM and for his silence.


Fans begin leaving comments such as “Silence is an answer” on his Instagram and talk about his past start to arise on Twitter. (About his ex who used the N-word, and his assistant that he fired because she was Islamophobic. 


Other fans are still worried for his sudden silence during a time where most celebrities are being extremely vocal about BLM. 

While they are upset, they are still concerned.
On the news, his neighborhood is one of the areas in NYC shown on TV for being looted and attacked by vandalism. 

He is still silent.


May 31st he posts a NYTOpinion video about race, hash tagging it #justiceforGeorgeFloyd .


In the screen record for his video the names of his assistants come up on his phone. 
Sebastian does not say anything else for about three weeks when he then posts another charity on June 12th, one supporting Anthony Mackie.


JUNE 2020 


June 15th he posts another charity: one for conscious kid and one for Rayshard Brooks. He uses tag #blacklivesmatter .


Sebastian goes silent again. We don’t hear from him all month and fans grow even more worried now. 


He is silent for the rest of the month.


July


July 2nd/3rd He is seen on his friend’s Luke’s instagram in IBIZA for his manager’s birthday. Camera pans to Seb briefly and he looks unamused, almost trying to hide his face.


Fandom is in hysteria, and mostly confusion, because him being across the ocean during the pandemic went against everything he spoke about. 


Fandom is very upset with him. Especially since he is unmasked.


July 2nd/3rd, paparazzi pictures are released of him on a yacht laughing and kissing AO. Fandom is a mixture of confused, upset, but also happy for him because he looks like he is having a good time.


Fans on twitter start to aim ‘cancel culture’ and Sebastian Stan is Over trends for a few hours.


Paul H makes tweet defending his friend.


After July 4th and that week, fans uncover AO’s cultural ap. photos.

 
Some fans began interrogating her on her instagram. During this time we hear nothing directly from Seb.


He is silent on IG. 


July 3rd She posts Jet-ski picture without tagging him. 


Sometime this week they go to a very crowded strip/dance club of some sort. A friend records them and AO is seen sitting next to Seb and dancing against him.


July 7th AO does photoshoot in Madrid. New pap photo. Seb looks strikingly unhappy compared to pictures from July 3rd on the Yacht.


July 7th 2020 blind item, blind Item #11: “He might live in the US full time and be a naturalized US citizen, but this alliterate foreign born A list most movie actor used the passport he has from his birth country to take a vacation in Europe.”


Mid July to late July


Jul 8th - 12th silence. We assume they are still in Spain together, but we are not sure. We know she is.


July 12th, Ale posts first picture that we catch for being a throwback. It’s her on a beach, but we find out it’s old. We still don’t know where Seb is confirmed to be.


Silence again until the 14th when both Seb and Ale are called out for blocking fans on instagram that are attacking them. 


July 27th, Ale posts picture of the Netflix show she was on.


August


Nothing until August 11 when she tags her friend in a post saying she misses her. 


August 13th Seb posts his mother on his Birthday and also a The Devil All The Time clip.


LOOPHOLE TO USA.


August 14th she posts from Bermuda.


We soon make the connection that she uses this as loophole to get into the United States during Corona Virus. 


She posts several stories from there, including a boomerang of her throwing a towel at the camera. 


August 16th Seb posts another charity event that he did in Spain for a children’s hospital and school. 

His teams says it was planned many months in advance after fans question his reckless action.


We still don’t know where Seb is. 
There are no pap pictures during this time.
August 20th she posts Bermuda again.


August 21st their 3rd pap walk in the United States in NYC. Both masked and holding hands.


August 23rd he posts another Charity.


August 25th AO posts Bermuda again. Assumed throwback. 


August 25th another Pap walk outside his front door. Fans are shocked since he is so private. They both look very off guard even though it’s labeled Backgrid, meaning paps were called. This could’ve been taken the 24th but I don’t have access to byline to confirm.


It is assumed by many fans that around this time is when they see private information about his loft being rented. let me know if you would like me to leave this part out, but I feel it might be important.


August 27th he posts a Bucky throwback.


I don’t remember the exact date, but sometime between August 28th and 31st, Seb is supposedly spotted by a random fan at LAX.


August 31st AO post’s a video from Jersey City, NJ.


At this point in time we are aware that The Falcon and Winter Soldier will resume filming in Atlanta in mid September. Article states that crew and cast are to mandatory quarantine prior.


We don’t know where they both are at this point.


September


September 4th, AO posts another picture from the Netflix show she was on.


September 11th Seb posts a 9/11 picture that he took of the city and labels it “Thinking of NYC today”
September 11th, Ale posts a photoshoot picture of herself.


September 12th, Margarita unfollows Seb.


I don’t remember exactly when, but at a certain point, Ale starts posting videos and pictures of herself in what appears to be maybe Atlanta. Before this, she posts a picture of Sushi. 
She baits with picture of a script and also a book that she could possibly audition for.


September 14th Seb posts another Bucky picture.


September 15th, Seb posts another charity.
TFATWS commences shooting around this time.


September 15th 2020, Blind Item #11: “This studio really wanted to film their new streaming show for their own stream. They want nothing to shut it down so are covering up positive COVID tests of the cast and crew. Not Netflix. Not amazon. Revealed: Falcon and The Winter Soldier”


AO continues to bait fans with pictures and videos of food and a TV watching movies.


September 18th AO posts a hiking picture that fans quickly find out is a (very very plausible) throwback from Costa Rica.


September 19th Seb posts a very strange video of himself watching gossip girl in an apartment that fans see looks very different from where Ale was “baiting”. 

Some fans claim maybe he’s just in a different room. In the video he is drinking wine and even pans the camera to his ex girlfriend on tv and then back to himself when he swallows huge gulps of wine.


September 22nd he posts a VOTE picture with Mackie. Another “Link in my Bio”. 5th one in the last few months?


September 25th she posts from what we later find out is an Inn in Atlanta where they stayed before going to Prague.


September 30th 2020, Blind Item #9: “This foreign born alliterate A/A- list mostly movie actor has brought a new escort stripper on set everyday he has been shooting. Revealed: Sebastian Stan.“


October��

*this is when Seb’s health starts to worry us


October 5th she posts a picture of Seb and her jumping in front of a bonfire at the Inn. Seb’s face is blurred out and she does not tag him.


October 6th, Seb posts video promoting his move 355. 


October 8th Seb posts the Charity water video from Atlanta.
A little after this time, AO’s location changes over to Spain. 

We are unaware of how long she is there for.


Her baiting stops for a bit.

October 14th 2020, Blind Item #7: ”This alliterate foreign born A list mostly movie actor brought in an Easter European porn star to have sex with he saw online. The whole fake girlfriend thing is not believed by anyone, so just give up.“


October 16th and 18th AO posts old photoshoot photos and tags her team

.
** Fans grow concern as AO continues to post work related content and we hear nothing about Seb.


** Seb is rumored to be in Prague, but no sighting or baiting is every mentioned. It is not confirmed they ever interacted while in Prague. 


** AO’s location finally changes to Prague and she posts pictures with someone that shocks fans - her manager. 


** AO posts fake pictures of what looks like a play she might audition for and we realize is just printed out photos. Videos of her holding fake play is recorded in a hotel lobby with her manager.


** A foreign online article that follows shooting in Prague follows AO and mentions her in their story as Seb’s GF.


October 21st,  AO posts picture of Prague with her mother

.
** Seb is still MIA and fans are still confused as to where he is and why he is suddenly so quiet.


** Rumors of that there might be covering something happening behind the scenes start to come out. Fans are worried it might be his health or something worst.


I think after this her Location changed back to Spain. 


October 24th AO posts old photoshoot photo.


October 26th 2020, Blind item #2: ”Not to be outdone by his alliterate foreign born co-star, this A/A- list actor has several women each day visit him on set. That was the same reason why he got divorced a few years back. Revealed: Anthony Mackie/Sebastian Stan“


October 27th we finally hear from Seb and it’s a picture from a bridge in Prague.


LOOPHOLE TO USA.


Ale posts that she’s jet lagged on her story with her Macbook Pro. Bait.


Silence. (I think. Someone fill me in if I missed something here.)
October 30th, Seb posts a video of an alien documentary. We later find out this is from a hotel in Mexico. Tulum.


October 31st Seb posts fans Halloween costumes of Bucky.


November


November 1st, Deuxmoi posts that he was spotted in Tulum reading a script. 


AO posts video from similar hotel room where his Alien video was. Bait.


November 7th a very suspicious influencer (who we later find out works for PR) takes a video of Seb and Ale walking on the beach in Mexico. Seb is walking about 30 feet way from her and she looks awkward following behind. Another video where she appears topless and he almost looks like he’s looking directly at the influencer’s camera.
We hear of (another?) influence who is recording them. She takes pictures of them laying in a bungalow. There is a video she records of them kissing but video is never seen by the public.


November 7th Seb posts his congrats to Joe Biden and Kamala Harris. 

AO does the same on a story.
November 9th 2020, Blind Item #7: ”The foreign born alliterate A list actor who likes to often cheat on his sketchy girlfriend is being called out for yet again traveling to a foreign country for a vacation. Third or fourth one in the past few months. Besides realizing he was busted on video for not following the same rules he advocates, he is also vacationing in countries from which his girlfriend is allowed to get back into the US.“


November 9th we get the pap pics of them in Mexico and they appear very planned. Seb also appears skinny. Seb is talking on the phone, strips just his shirt as AO waits for him in water. They kiss briefly in awkward embraces, only once on lips, she gets hit by wave and he leaves her in water.


*** Around here is when Seb starts posting throwbacks and he starts looking sick 


November 12th, Seb posts a throwback to when he was on set on Endings Beginings.


November 15th he posts a throwback video for Charity on set of TFATWS with Anthony.

He makes a post for another Charity (same is bulletin prior) and he looks sick and tired. His hair is also very thin but some fans say it’s just sea water. Others are still worried about his health and think something is wrong. His left eyelid is a little swollen.


LOOPHOLE TO USA


Around this time is when AO starts posting the same sushi from around September. (possibly same.)
We make conclusion she is in LA when she then posts story with LA in background. 


November 18th she posts pictures in LA.


November 19th Seb posts a Bucky picture.


December 6th 2020, Blind Item #5: ”This foreign born alliterate A- list superhero did a video supporting a charity, Great. The thing is though, he used the opportunity to call out everyone who has called him out and said that he is great because he is taking the time to make a charity video. Probably not the video the charity had in mind. Revealed: Sebastian Stan.“


We assume he is in LA with AO. 

Rumors of them moving in together start to come up as she later continues to post pictures of a Christmas tree in a house.
Seb’s friends are in LA for thanksgiving. This is when drama with Toby happens and he changes his picture of where he posted Seb to say “throwback.”


AO continues to prove she is in LA. Bait.


November 30th/31st AO posts a picture tagging Chanel. *sorry I had to laugh at this one*
December
He does another charity which he forgets to promote this time on his IG. 


December 7th AO posts a shadow picture in LA tagging Seb. He does not approve this original photo into his tags.


December 7th Seb posts a quarantine video from his NYC apartment “Thank you for the love, thank you for the hate. Be safe.”


After fans start to speculate that he is in NYC again, on December 8th, Seb posts a Christmas tree and says “First tree in 20 years…” it’s a selfie and second picture is same tree Ale posted but cropped to find entire IG post. Background is blurred out.
AO continues to show LA house. Bait.


December 10th new pap walk admits rumors of TFATWS trailer dropping soon.


Seb is holding keys for car place that rents cars for PR purposes and there is a lot of distance between him and AO.


December 10th, Seb posts TFATWS trailer that drops and the poster later that night.
AO continues to post things about herself.


Seb continues to allow memes making fun of her and their rs to come through his tag.


She posts a video of a dog.


December 13th Seb posts a video of himself and a cat, but house looks different than LA house. He also looks very different from that pap walk, with a full beard. It is speculated his video is old but unconfirmed. 


AO posts TIFF movies and Seb does the same.


December 16th, Lily James and Seb project is announced. 


December 16th AO posts LA picture.


December 17th AO posts picture in grains yard of LA house.


December 18th AO posts another script in English and Italian.


December 18th Seb posts Charity post.
this is up to today’s date. 

If I missed anything let me know.

Mod: I haven't had the chance to read through it all, but it looks fine, doesn’t look like opinions but more fact type of thing so I'll keep it up. Thanks for taking time do that, this is crazy lol